Spiritual Bonding

Welcome back everyone. A weird week here with your host Riley Purser. We were joined with Julian and Lola. Talking about Morman Wives, Bonding Rituals, and Knocked up cats.

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[DISCLAIMER] 
All comments made in this video are purely satirical and for comedic/entertainment purposes only. This is a comedy video. Do not take anything said in the video seriously. All people seen in this video are actors, this video was filmed on a film set with professionals. Comments made by actors are not to be confused with the real opinions of the actors. This is a staged comedic performance.

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

Welcome.

SPEAKER_02 0:02

To the Drilling Caracter Podcast.

SPEAKER_01 0:03

Where the arguments are dumb. The logic is slurred. And we are bound to make somebody upset to breathe the same air as I said.

SPEAKER_02 0:10

I'm your host, Ray Purser. Joined here today with Julian.

SPEAKER_01 0:21

That was the Twin Tower crash. Lola?

SPEAKER_00 0:25

Hi everyone.

SPEAKER_02 0:28

Cannot follow Julian after that. You can't. I think we should start making him go last.

SPEAKER_00 0:33

Yes.

SPEAKER_02 0:35

We can do that. Julian. It's been a while since I've asked you this. Oh, how was my week? How's your week?

SPEAKER_01 0:41

Lame as fuck. I'm actually gonna finally get my car fixed. The uh that quarter panel that's all screwed up. We got that figured out. Somewhat. I I met a dude at the gas station while I was getting gas and buying a couple beers. And I had accidentally left my $20 bill on the counter. Or $42 bills on the counter. And I went to the back to grab a second drink because the dude's like, oh yeah, it's buy one get one basically. I was like, fuck yeah, dude. Yeah, yeah. As I walk back back there, this dude walks in through the store and he pretends to steal my money off the counter. I'm like, that's that's guy, bro. Part of my language, sorry. Bro, have you tried the quick trip beer yet? I I've seen it and I kind of thought about it, but I I can't bring myself to do it. But luckily, apparently the dude that pretended to steal my money, he works uh with an auto-body guy who does like $700,000 to $800,000 cars. So like I'm gonna have a dude that has a car that he's literally painting for a movie set. Fixing my quarter panel.

SPEAKER_00 1:54

What movies?

SPEAKER_01 1:55

Yeah, what movie? Um I know you didn't sign an NDA. He didn't tell me the movie yet, but he's got another car that he's actually also working on for a uh a YouTuber. It's it's kind of neat. I when I went there and I looked at almost like, see, this is this is what I want to be in 30 years, the dude where you you you record taking it to me because I know how to do your engine swap real quick. Yeah, he was trying to steal your 40. So is it really that good?

SPEAKER_02 2:23

I'm just questionable.

SPEAKER_01 2:25

Well, well, it's like it's his boss, technically. But basically, we're doing work for work, so I'm gonna be re-replacing the head of a Dodge Grand Caravan with that shitty V6 motor that I had to are we sure this dude knows what he's doing. He owns a Dodge caravan. Oh, dude. Yeah when I walk back there, I see that he had he he knows how to like tear everything out of a car, everything off of a car to get it to a stripped bare body and rotisserie paint it. So I I straight up ask him, I'm like, clearly you you would be able to do this. Why are you calling me in to do it? And he's like, I don't have time. I I have he's backed up three years with work on these cars that are like $300,000 to $700,000. And I'm saying, I'm like, I guess that makes sense.

SPEAKER_00 3:21

Where where does he live? In AJ.

SPEAKER_01 3:24

He does, he lives right up here in AJ. Yep. He runs it right on the back of his house, too. Julian, what do you think about the concept of multiple wives? For yourself. Listen, if I can have four hot blondes that all say they love me and they all sleep in the same bed as me, I'd be stupid to say no. Well, you know, most most multi-wife situations, it's not in the same house. No, we're all sleeping in the same bed.

SPEAKER_02 3:58

I think it's crazy though, like the uh the uh what's it called with the the show with the one dude? Sister wives. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, usually how it goes with these multiple wife situations is that all the wives have their own houses.

SPEAKER_00 4:12

And a cul-de-sac.

SPEAKER_02 4:13

In a cul-de-sac, and the dude pays for all of it.

SPEAKER_01 4:16

Yeah, see, that's too much money. You can't even handle one girl. Well, yeah. I mean, my whole my whole thing on my own data chick is because it's a s it's another job. I've got enough of a job as is. Like, no.

SPEAKER_02 4:29

Yeah, I actually ran into that guy, the husband from that TV show.

SPEAKER_00 4:34

Oh, I think you've talked about that on here.

SPEAKER_01 4:36

I don't think I have on here. I know I've told you. You have with multiple, and you asked him about the multiple wives. No, I didn't know him. The the person I was with knew him.

SPEAKER_02 4:45

Oh, yeah. He it's a TLC show, right?

SPEAKER_00 4:47

It was.

SPEAKER_02 4:48

Yeah. Because they were from Utah and then they got kicked out.

SPEAKER_00 4:53

Went to Vegas.

SPEAKER_02 4:54

Went to Vegas, then got kicked out of there.

SPEAKER_00 4:56

Went to Flagstaff.

SPEAKER_02 4:56

Now they live or yeah, I think they still live in Flagstaff.

SPEAKER_00 4:59

Oh, I don't know. I just know from like news headlines.

SPEAKER_02 5:03

Oh, yeah, I don't know. But I saw him at the Lego store. At the Lego store? Yeah, but at that time he only had one wife. The rest of them divorced him.

SPEAKER_00 5:10

Oh, so that wasn't even super long ago.

SPEAKER_01 5:12

Yeah. That's funny. They divorced him. So I guess. She was one of the ugly ones, too. She was there also.

SPEAKER_00 5:22

You got to keep only the ugly one. The youngest one and the newest one. One that stayed.

SPEAKER_02 5:30

I saw her. She was at the Lego store also. But then it was really creepy because we didn't even know. It was funny because we were walking out to the car afterwards. And the person I was with, or I was like, man, wouldn't it be crazy if we actually ran into them in the parking lot? We're walking to the car. Yada yada yada, right? Turn around and I see them. And then I'm like, hey, what? You watch their show. Do you know what kind of car they drive? And we're going to get into the car. And she's like, oh, it looks just like the one in front of us. And I see him pull out the key fob and unlock it. And I was like, we gotta go. Now it looks like we're just stalking these people.

SPEAKER_01 6:05

Oh, so like you but you did talk to them. I didn't. She she did. Oh. Yeah. The dude looked like a total tool.

SPEAKER_00 6:13

Yeah. He is.

SPEAKER_01 6:15

He's from California, right? But he could pay for multiple houses for his.

SPEAKER_00 6:18

Yeah, no one knows where his money comes from.

SPEAKER_01 6:21

APAC.

SPEAKER_00 6:22

It's from the TLC show, would probably be the only way.

SPEAKER_01 6:26

Because he was a surfer guy.

SPEAKER_00 6:27

But he would have had to have already had the wives before the the sh he had the wives, but they didn't have all their own houses because during the show he bought a cul-de-sac and actively built each house. That was one of the things you watched happen on the show. So I don't just because he had the wives, I don't think he had.

SPEAKER_01 6:48

So they broke up probably because when the show ended, they're like, okay, guys, now that we're not paying for you know the houses anymore, we gotta sell the houses, so you guys gotta kick rocks.

SPEAKER_02 6:59

Well, no, the show was going on when he got down to the one wife.

SPEAKER_00 7:02

Yeah, it was still going. One of the wives left because they all had kids with him.

SPEAKER_02 7:07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 7:08

And then the newest wife that came on had a couple of kids from someone else and then had kids with him. So they each had a house in the cul-de-sac and they all had a ton of kids, but the one wife could only have one kid, and that kid then became gay or came out as gay. And so he was like, No, we're that's not something we believe in.

SPEAKER_02 7:32

Divorce. So, but the crazy thing though is how it works is they all have their own house, so it's on and off. So he'll go to one house one week, one house the other week, one house the next week, one house the next week, and then rotate.

SPEAKER_00 7:44

Well, they had a day of the week.

SPEAKER_02 7:46

Oh, they had a day of the week? I thought it was a week.

SPEAKER_00 7:48

No, during the show, I only saw it a little bit, but they had like Monday night was dinner with this family, two and that wife and stay with that. Tuesday night was dinner with this family, because he had five.

SPEAKER_02 8:00

Yeah, look at that, Julian. So there's no room for arguments if you only see him for one time.

SPEAKER_01 8:04

So do you think he so when you would go to each house, you know, saying seeing as he would have dinner with one family, do you think he left at, you know, in the middle of the night or middle of the day to go to the next one? I think morning. You think morning?

SPEAKER_00 8:23

Because the way the show was structured, he would like wake up, have breakfast, and then he'd be with a different wife and kids.

SPEAKER_01 8:32

So he's like he's like walking out the door at 3 a.m. like he normally would if you're cheating, but he's like, I am going to go see my other wife, but but but it's okay, she's okay with it. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 8:44

And they were all pregnant at the same time.

SPEAKER_01 8:46

Yeah, but all the wives would hang out during their off time. Do you think their periods would sync up? Oh, I'm sure. Oh, I'm sure.

SPEAKER_00 8:55

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 8:55

Oh, dude. Do you know that periods blood has healing powers? Well, I was trying to think of whether or not to lead it to that. I was like, do I should I lead it to that? Well, you did the research. I didn't, so you gotta tell me about it.

SPEAKER_02 9:09

Now you're like, yeah, anyhow. I only saw the Instagram post and then I saw you looking it up, so now you gotta tell us what the healing powers are.

SPEAKER_01 9:16

Yeah, apparently Puriotblood will do scarless healing. Isn't it? So, like, uh yeah, I don't know if you know this, Lola, but apparently Puriablood has healing powers because of because of all the uh the proteins and it was bio something. Listen, I'm not I'm not a lawyer. A lawyer? You mean a doctor? Yeah, I'm not a veterinarian. So what it basically says is uh let's see where I want to get into it. Man, I just had it pulled up in a good spot. Sorry guys. Um, anyways, moving on. Um so what basically happens is it's got more proteins and bioactive materials that could uh that basically just they don't really explain how or why, other than just it's got it menstrual fluid is so rich in proteins and uh bioactive materials, you know, nutrients and shit. Um but basically what they found is he make you heal twice as fast. So let me ask you this, Julian. So you should just start having your wife, you know, when she's when when she's on her period, you know, what we're getting at basically is just when your wife's on her period, have her bleed all over you. It's probably good for you. I mean, you know how these elites, because because I thought about I thought about you know how the elites supposedly kill the babies, you know, drinks themselves in the baby blood and all that stuff. So they've been doing that just for the love of the game, apparently. You can just have, you know, some chick, these crazy leftists, when they're you know letting them free flow and their legs are all covered. You can just run up to them and just write up their thigh and freaking lose two ears.

SPEAKER_02 11:16

Bro, no, here's what I'm wondering, okay. Now that you know Epstein they can't be eating babies over there no more.

SPEAKER_01 11:21

Is this gonna be their new kick? This might be the new kick. No, but I I think Well, but with the love of the game, it's not a game. That's what I think it is. Yeah, I think they they did it just for the love of the game. Yeah, yeah. But now they can do it illegal way. They're not about that, so we don't have to worry about that. Yeah, yeah, that's gonna be reserved for us. We're gonna be down on that. I'll go get our period ladles. I'm gonna look 23 and 30 years and winning and be like, what's your routine? I'll just have you bleed on me, baby. Come on. Let me see that tampon. Drink it. I'll ring it out over my mouth.

SPEAKER_02 12:01

That's so nasty.

SPEAKER_01 12:05

Hey, listen, I gotta stay young, gotta keep this liver young. Keep drinking.

SPEAKER_00 12:10

It's gross, but people want to stay young so bad, you know that if they thought for a second that was a real thing.

SPEAKER_02 12:17

It is.

SPEAKER_00 12:18

But like it might be the internet says it is the internet is never alive.

SPEAKER_01 12:24

With how is talking about it? I genuinely believe now that you probably would technically stay younger covering yourself with period blood. As gross and awful as that is, as I I and I do not advocate for this. Don't don't do this. You're you're gross, you ick, but I don't deny the fact that it probably works. Do you believe that we should also be taking money from Israel? Oh, yeah, so there's a bonding experience that you're supposed to do when you get married, where you have your wife, and usually it's recommended doing a spaghetti, but put some of her period blood in the spaghetti. No, it's okay. It's okay. It's a bonding experience. So she puts her period blood in the spaghetti. This sounds like a bonding experience. So you eat the spaghetti, but in return, you is on a sandwich for like it's male. And you're supposed to eat how they eat. That's a different thing.

SPEAKER_03 13:27

No, no, no, no, no, it's different.

SPEAKER_01 13:29

Yeah, no, it's not different, it's not different. So you no, no, that is different. No, no, no, no. That is different, but it's but it's it's a legit thing.

SPEAKER_02 13:36

What I'm not saying it's not legit. Blood is different than sperm. There's a difference.

SPEAKER_01 13:42

It the it it's a spiritual bonding, okay. Then I'll let a girl squirt in my lemonade and call it even. No, no, no, it's gotta be menstrual blood. That's disgusting and worse.

SPEAKER_03 13:56

What? How is that worse? No, no, no. I feel like having a girl squirr in my lemonade is a little bit better than eating your freaking period blood.

SPEAKER_01 14:06

Yeah. A little gross. Listen, I'm not I'm not gonna say I don't part the Red Sea every once in a while, but I'm not gonna drink the water at the Red Sea. I mean, I will, but not not that. You drink the water at the Red Sea? No, parting it, but like I ain't putting my face down there. Yeah, no, no, no. I don't want to taste petty. So I'm guessing I I have slightly convinced you that's a real thing. Um is it not a real thing? Oh no. But my dad convinced this kid at his work that it is. Well, we got to get your dad on the pod. I know. But he got this kid asking all the other employees at home if they did this.

SPEAKER_03 14:53

He was doing this at home. That's where he worked.

SPEAKER_01 14:56

Yeah, he he told the kid. Well, but I thought he had two jobs, doesn't he? No, he did this at the home job. He told the other kid at the paint department, hey, you know, this and that. And he's that he told him to go talk to one of the other employees. And when he did, the other guy just chuckled for a second. He's like, We're not supposed to talk about this. Yeah, just just but he's he said it in a way as in like you we do it, but you're not supposed to talk about it. It's you know a thing you do only when you get married.

SPEAKER_00 15:27

Well, hold on, hold on.

SPEAKER_01 15:29

He asked two other employees right after, basically. Um and they essentially like say, Yeah. And he's like, Listen, if you don't believe me, go ask your dad, because he gets a ride from his dad to and from work every day. So I'm I'm just I I'm I'll find out on the next uh or the in a c in two episodes whether or not the kid asked his dad. Oh no. But I I am hoping this kid asked his dad, hey dad, did you eat mom's period blood? Wild. Wild Did you mom do that? Did she eat your sperm on a bread? On bread? On some toast? Yeah, it was I was hoping I could convince you it was rude. I I didn't want to tell that story just because I wanted you to try it and come back next episode saying you tried it. Just for me like, sorry, bro, I lied to you. That's wild. But I can't keep my mouth. You know, my I can't I can't I can't hold my tongue. Listen, it was funny what he did to the kid. Julian, I know you didn't ask me about my week, but I'm gonna tell you. How was your week? Thank you. Has anyone said that you look beautiful today? No. Better like tomorrow. Julian, you've gotten me addicted to something. Anyhow, on to drink of the week. Oh my gosh. Yeah, we're gonna do it. Yeah, I got John to this addiction. It's bad. It's really bad. I spent a lot of money. Yeah. Really?

SPEAKER_02 17:01

Within the first week, I've already sent out the PSA.

SPEAKER_01 17:04

So we I got him into Pokemon. He likes Pokemon now. And now he's he's gonna learn the glory of drunk rips. If you do Pokemon, you know all about drunken rips. You get drunk and you rip some Pokemon, dude. Because you forget how much money you're losing. And then when you get that chase card that's worth five dollars, you feel really good for a moment, because the photo looks really nice. But yeah, no. You wanna do a rip? We can do it. Good luck, Chug. There's so much ice in mine. Yeah, yeah, sorry. I'm not gonna finish it, but it's like half Chug. Good luck, Chug. So we've got Chaos Rising, the new set. Okay, you go first. You want me to go first? Yep. Alright. And I think it's one off the back. Yeah, it's one off the back is the uh energy card. Yep. And then it's this regular uh what's it called? Regular order. Jesus Christ. It's like tight in there. Oh Jesus Christ, that's a lot of whitening on the freaking look at that. Oh my gosh. Like, how is that even possible? We got a green energy card. Alright, let's see what we got. What we got. Alright, alright. Got groomy. Groomy. Or gumy. Sorry.

SPEAKER_03 18:47

Uh Frog Deer.

SPEAKER_02 18:54

Patrat? Patrat?

SPEAKER_01 18:56

Patrat! Patrat? Patrat! We sound so stupid right now. Uh we said Screlp. Screlp. AZ's Tranquility. A fair fair throne. Nine Tails. That's a good sign. That's a good sign. What do we got on the first uh hollow is that chest pen? Avilug. Avilug. And a crowbat. Mine was dust. We got about 20 cents here. Who wants to buy them? Highest bidder. Here, throw them, throw the at least the trash up there. Oh, that's the trash as a car. No, I meant that trash. Okay. Power energy. Alright. See. I know it's gonna be a little hard. I guess you could show. Flaffy? You could probably show on Lola's, to be honest. Now that I think about it. Oh. I guess yours is gonna look a little bit better than mine.

unknown 20:04

Whatever.

SPEAKER_01 20:04

Yeah. Flaffy. Do it next time, Lola. You can sit down, Lola. Oh. Famp Fampy? Fampy. Fampy. Volpix. Volpix? Ramraid. Remarade. Hemorrhoid. Deoxies. Detoxing. Prism tower. Pain tower. 9-11. Meow's dick. Trubbish? Rubbish. Lil' Lil' Mind dude. Lil' Mouse dude. Ah, chestnut. Chestnut, man. That was dust. I mean, we got two more. We got dusted. That's for next episode next week. Trying to keep it consistent. Yeah, yeah. Not drunk enough to open all of the packs. That's the only rule when it comes to Pokemon. But if you want to win in a raffle, free giveaway!

SPEAKER_03 21:04

Be subscribed.

SPEAKER_01 21:07

Should I bring uh my Prismatic Evolution or my 151 UPC and we just said it here? Yep. It's funny, my dad was actually saying for one of these Pokemon things, he was like, What you should do is take some of that really expensive stuff you have in the closet and just put it up on the shelf when you do the opening for some of that stuff. I'm like, uh-huh. He's like, and then you can mark it on there and kind of like say, Hi, my name is for sale. And I'm like, bro, you know what we should do?

SPEAKER_02 21:33

No, we're gonna go ahead and get on into the drink of the week.

SPEAKER_00 21:44

All right, drink of the week is an ocean water. So we're going to start out with two ounces of the blue carousel.

SPEAKER_01 21:56

That's pretty oceanic. That looks like uh like the uh deep ocean. Ocean, the ocean blue. Is the ocean actually blue? I thought it was green. I thought it was blue. I imagine that's the kind of blue that you see like near the uh glaciers in Antarctica, you know. We're just so terrible to our oceans. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 22:17

Alright, we're gonna do one ounce coconut rum.

SPEAKER_01 22:23

If you know Julian, he likes his rum. Oh, blue rum. I know, I was gonna say like the dye in it.

SPEAKER_00 22:33

Alright, we're gonna top it off with some pineapple juice.

SPEAKER_01 22:38

The piniple? It looks like coffee juice. It does. Oh, I guess that looks kind of like an ocean. That does look like the gross part of the ocean. Like, you know, when you're you're looking at the ocean, it's like all nasty and murky and crap. Because we're so terrible to our ocean life. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 22:58

Alright, the last ingredient here is just a little bit of coconut water.

SPEAKER_01 23:22

It wasn't me making that sound, it was the fish. It was the fishes. Hold on to a tight, hold on to a tight.

SPEAKER_00 23:28

Oh that might be a chart.

SPEAKER_01 23:35

No, it's a cannibalistic fish.

SPEAKER_00 23:38

Alright, we're going to add some little fish in here, some sweetish.

SPEAKER_01 23:43

Wait, can I make this one? Hold up.

SPEAKER_00 23:45

Go for it. So far.

SPEAKER_01 23:50

Hold on, hold on, hold on. One more.

SPEAKER_00 23:53

Okay. Let's see. Oh, that was closed.

SPEAKER_03 24:02

I was going for the cleavage. I told you. You were closest.

SPEAKER_00 24:13

Alright. Come on. You made it. You made it.

SPEAKER_01 24:22

And we're back. We're back. We never left. Can you stop saying that?

SPEAKER_03 24:26

But we never looked at in the edits, as far as I'm aware, we don't technically leave either.

SPEAKER_01 24:32

Well, but the camera cuts back to us. Well, yeah. Well, we still never left. Anyhow. Hey. You didn't cheers. And where's you're not waiting for Lola to get hers?

SPEAKER_00 24:44

No, go ahead, because I didn't think to have I didn't have a third cup.

SPEAKER_01 24:48

No, we gotta wait for Lola to make her.

SPEAKER_02 24:50

I already know you.

SPEAKER_01 25:00

Yeah? I could see why they did the Swedish fish in it too. Like when you're especially if you're eating a Swedish fish as you're drinking it, it's pretty good. It's definitely not what you'd expect looking at it. But it's definitely as smooth and creamy in a way, like looking at it, you know. You know what I mean about like that creamy texture?

SPEAKER_02 25:23

Yes, Julian, yes.

SPEAKER_01 25:31

Pretty good. I'm not gonna lie. What are you gonna get a dog? Well, I'm actually thinking about getting a cat. Yeah, you are I know it's kind of ironic, right? But then figured after the last one, you were never gonna get another cat. Well, this lady that I do work that I'm doing some work on her car, she's got like 10 fucking cats. Because they keep going to her neighbors where uh he has like this big uh bong and they keep getting knocked up up there because they were not originally her cats, they were just strays, and they had kittens, and for some reason they brought all the kittens over to her house. But I'm like, I keep seeing these little kittens, and you see their little like beady big eye, like little like beady eyes as they're kind of going. Like, you know, that little like twitch they do when they walk. Yeah, yeah. I'm watching them do that. I'm like, Oh, I want to take you home. And you won't run away because you'll be used to me and you'll know where home is. Thank you for joining us this week. Oh, that's right. That was really fucking weird. I'm your host, Rolly Purser, joining here today with Julian.

SPEAKER_02 26:50

And Lola?

SPEAKER_00 26:52

Hi, everyone.

SPEAKER_02 26:55

Every week at 3 p.m. Um if we get a thousand views on this video, I'll make Julian bring in his 151 ETB. And um wait, is it an ETB or is it the Ultimate Collection? Which one?

SPEAKER_03 27:08

ETB, ETB, ETB. The one that's $600, not the one that's a thousand.

SPEAKER_01 27:14

We're gonna make him bring all of it, and he's gotta open them. Nope. That's my down payment for my house. Unless the Umbreon is in there, but then it'd be useless to open a SPC. That's true. That's true.

SPEAKER_02 27:33

But comment, like, share. I hate saying that.

SPEAKER_01 27:38

Subscribe. Like, comment, share, subscribe, follow us on Instagram at the Drunken Cacti Podcast. We're soon to be opening up a Facebook account if you want to start uh looking up there. We'll have some reels up there soon too. Yep. Um follow us on Spotify, Apple Mexican. Apple Podcasts. If you could leave a like, download everything. Anywhere you listen to your podcast. Yep. Yep. 602 583. Oh, wait, that's my phone number. I was gonna say, is that our number? You know it. Okay, we're out of here. My