When Did We Stop Having Fun?

When did being an adult get so serious?

 After 20 episodes of Brains Gone Bold, Maria and Jeanine take a look back at what this whole podcast experiment has become. What started as two friends thinking, “People might actually enjoy listening to our conversations,” has turned into something neither of them completely expected.

They talk about the weirdness of seeing yourself on camera, wanting people to join the conversation, handling disagreement, and realizing that sometimes the quiet people listening are connecting more than you know.

Then the conversation lands somewhere unexpected: play.

Maria shares that recording the podcast brought out a side of herself she hadn't felt connected to in a while: Playful Maria. That leads to a bigger question. When did adults stop making room for fun just because it's fun?

Maybe adventure doesn't have to mean jumping out of a plane. Maybe it's trying a new place, going to a festival, taking a ridiculous adult sleepaway camp trip, or simply doing something that makes you feel a little more like yourself again.

There are also roller coasters, margarita afternoons, an accidental “Marie,” a possible podcast breakup, and the realization that maybe Brains Gone Bold has become Maria and Jeanine's own little playground.

This one is funny, reflective, and a reminder that life doesn't always have to be so damn serious.

Listen in, then ask yourself: Where could you use a little more play?

Transcript

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SPEAKER_00 0:00

Welcome to Brain's Gotten Bold. We're happy to have you here with us.

unknown 0:05

Wake up, Almond.

SPEAKER_00 0:06

Happy to be here with you, Janine, for yet another amazing conversation, I'm sure. It's exciting.

SPEAKER_02 0:13

Yeah, yeah. I'm glad to have you back in Jack's with me. Oh, well, thank you. It's enjoying the beautiful, warm, sunshiney. Did you hear that storm last night? I did. That was nice.

SPEAKER_00 0:23

Perfect. Perfect. Yes. Um I'm interested in knowing. So as of the time of the recording today, we've just released our 20th episode of the code. Woohoo!

SPEAKER_01 0:35

Woohoo!

SPEAKER_00 0:36

Twenty. I wish I could like shoot up some fireworks. I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 0:39

We'll put it together in post.

SPEAKER_00 0:41

Sure. Sure. In the world of podcasting, I'm not sure if that's any kind of milestone, but it feels like one for us.

SPEAKER_02 0:47

I mean, it's gotta be something.

SPEAKER_00 0:49

Yeah. Yeah. So how do you think it's been going at this point for you? Is it what you had hoped for? Uh what you were thinking it would be like. I remember and recently I actually just re-watched our very first episode. Just because for me that was so exciting and energizing. And I thought we actually had a very great conversation, even though we had no plan for it. Yeah. And just remembering kind of what we were thinking going into it and wondering, you know, are we where we thought we would be at this point? Did we even have a plan? Yeah. I know you wanted an audience. Do you feel like you've gotten your audience yet? Okay.

SPEAKER_02 1:33

No.

SPEAKER_00 1:34

Okay. What would that look like?

SPEAKER_02 1:36

Such great questions. You asked a lot in that one little package there. I would say, first of all, is it what I expected it to be? And I don't think I had expectations. I mean, you and I talked about how, you know, our conversations, at least to us, are so enjoyable that we should have an audience for them, that we think that there would be some interest in it. And so I think we've accomplished that. We've had these, our conversations. I I forget a lot of times that there's a camera and a microphone, just having these conversations. Yeah. And so that to me is the beauty of it, that this feels sort of natural, even though we're sitting in a studio, it's freezing in here and there's lights everywhere, but it still feels natural as far, again, the conversation. As far as the audience, you know, that's the one thing. I mean, if I'm gonna say I'm disappointed, like I'd love more interaction. That's the biggest thing for me as far as the conversation. I want to draw more people into the conversation with us. I want to hear their opinions. I want to, you know, whether they agree with us or not. Like I want to have that discussion. I'm the kind of person who enjoys a great debate. You know, I want to have the conversation. So, you know, that's what I'm asking for when I say I want an audience and not just about me standing in front of a crowd and going blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. It's really about that dialogue. The connection. The connection. Yeah. Absolutely.

SPEAKER_00 2:58

Absolutely. Um, I'm very curious though. You said you're the kind of person that does that enjoys a good debate.

SPEAKER_02 3:03

I do.

SPEAKER_00 3:03

Uh, am I correct in assuming that it's a respectful debate that you're looking for? No. I mean, when we talk about when we talk about this world that we now have dipped our toes in, it's it's a little risky, right? Because when we start getting the folks who feel very passionately either for or against what we're saying, there's a very big possibility that it becomes a disrespectful situation because of all of the junk that we've all seen out there on social media platforms and so forth, we know that's a possibility.

SPEAKER_02 3:37

Yeah. Are you I hope for respect? I mean, I certainly hope for that. I think the reason that conversations become disrespectful is because people don't have the words for it. People don't, they don't have the equipment to express themselves in a way that is satisfying. And so we devolve, and I I can, I'm gonna say this for myself. I devolved to this the lowest form. And so I'm like, ah, you suck. Like that's what it comes down to, right? Instead of, you know, listen, what you just did was so distasteful because it really made me feel bad about myself. Instead, it's you suck. Yeah. So that's why that's where like I try to remember where it comes from. That even though it feels very personal, it's a statement of them. It's not a statement of you. I know I like I saw the eyes getting ready to roll, but it genuinely is. And so, yes, we can take it personal, particularly if you feel like danger as a result of the thing. Um but the position that we're in, which you and I are just you and I, you know, we don't feel like we've had two conversations recently where people either commented that they know us through this, yeah, or you know, they're dealing with celebrities, which is hysterical. Uh right. But I get it. We do reveal a lot of ourselves through this forum, which I'm okay with.

SPEAKER_00 5:10

Which is interesting because you and I have both also talked about the fact that we're only revealing a very small portion. Right.

unknown 5:18

Right.

SPEAKER_00 5:19

Right. As much as we would probably like to reveal even more, you know, um, at some point we'll we'll naturally get there. But um, yeah. So it it is interesting. There were a couple of people who have said, I feel like I know you from watching your podcast, or and it made us start thinking we didn't even know that you were watching. Or there are people out there who are listening that we don't know who they are, where they're from, what their experience is, nothing. So uh it's definitely interesting territory now, if nothing else. And it I think I shared with you, I'm just gonna share for our our audience.

SPEAKER_02 5:54

I hope you can tell a story that I'm thinking of because I was about to say, do you feel comfortable sharing the Weight Watcher story? Yes. Yes, good, good, good.

SPEAKER_00 6:00

So I was I was telling Janine that years ago, I was on a message board for people who uh were doing Weight Watchers. And uh that message board became a regular thing for people. So you would have the same group of people who didn't see that. I've belonged to something before. And they kind of became virtual friends. And this was, again, years ago. Right. Uh and so people would start sharing things about their lives that they were going through. I was part of conversations, or when I say part of, I was a lurker. So I was not. Let's be real. I did not share anything about myself on there because I was just lurking. Yes.

SPEAKER_02 6:43

Um, and I was there for recipes and also too because you're interested in the progress photos and other things that people that's what I find really interesting.

SPEAKER_00 6:50

And just like people have said to us now, is how I felt too, which is I feel like I know these people. And so I was following their journeys, and there were people who would share um their uh progress photos, like you mentioned. So you knew what they looked like. Uh, and there was this one woman on there who she had done that, so I knew what she looked like. And she was sharing that she had a miscarriage and some pretty deep stuff. Had some pretty deep life things that were happening that she had shared out to this public message board. And I learned through her messaging, too, that she was from the same city as I was or as I am, which I thought was interesting. And then one day at work, I'm walking out of my building for lunch, and here she comes walking in. I would have died. Walking in. And then I started seeing her at least once a week after she worked in my same building.

SPEAKER_02 7:53

I don't know, first of all, I don't know how you didn't go, oh, Carol. Right? Like it's like that would have been my instinct. You know, I'm a fairly worn, not to say that you're not a fairly warm person. When you feel like you know somebody, yeah, and then they walk by you and it's like bitch, didn't even say hello to me. Or I could have gotten up to you and be like, you've lost so much weight. So sorry about everything you're going through, but you look great. I don't know how you controlled that instinct because I would have been like, Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 8:25

Yeah. I was like, oh my gosh. I know. And at first I thought, well, maybe she's just coming for a meeting or something. Because again, I knew she was from the same city. Um, unlikely, but you know, of course I could understand how it happens, but very awkward. But yeah, she literally worked in my building. That's nuts. It's such a small world. It is. And so, of course, I never said anything to her. That would have been very, very awkward.

SPEAKER_02 8:47

Well, especially how do you explain the fact that I've been reading your comments for however long and I never say anything. Like, what?

SPEAKER_00 8:53

Yeah. Come on, lady. And so I, you know, learned very early on, because this was so many years ago, about the impact of sharing things out to the world. Yes. You have no idea who's reading them or watching or whatever. Um and so, yeah, that was, I'll never forget that. That was Oh, I bet. Yeah, yeah. But it also But it's a good awareness. Yeah. And it also comes back, though, too, to what you were saying, which is in that instance, had I been participating in that conversation with the others, that would have been a really good opportunity for us to connect in person, maybe even become friends. Who knows? Yeah, it's a good point. If I had participated. And so we're coming back to the point of we want to hear from you people. We do.

SPEAKER_02 9:45

We do never know what could come, you know, of it. Because it truthfully, I mean, it is the whole discussion.

SPEAKER_00 9:50

Not that we're gonna be friends with everyone, but you know what I'm saying.

SPEAKER_02 9:53

Marie won. Maria won't, but I might just get it. I did just it was a faux pas. It was nothing, there's nothing behind it. There's nothing behind it. It's just, it's my middle name.

SPEAKER_00 10:04

We're gonna have to talk about this later. Oh. Okay. All right. I'm gonna start calling you Jeannie.

SPEAKER_02 10:11

I hate that so much. I hate that so much. Not that there's anything wrong with the name. It's just not my name. Like Marie, it's not your name. Exactly. So I've got another girlfriend, Marie, who, and I have a cousin Marie, and obviously it's a part of her name. But anyway, we text a lot. She lives um out west. She's uh doesn't matter who she is. Anyway, she is Marie. But my friend Donna, who's in this conversation with us, she calls her Maria all the time. Oh and it's just their little thing. Yeah. And so I'm very conscious of you, Marie, Maria, this whole like thing. Anyway. Um, so I apologize. Please, please, accept that.

SPEAKER_00 10:48

And I will forgive you.

SPEAKER_02 10:49

Okay, and we won't have to talk about it later.

SPEAKER_00 10:51

No, it's fine. Just don't let it happen again.

SPEAKER_02 10:53

Awesome. All right. So back to where we were in this. The other thing that you mentioned something about, like what surprised you or what have you. I because when I think of podcast, it's for me, it's auditory. Yes, we're videoing, so it's available on YouTube, but my choice is to typically listen. When I'm in the car, you know, if I'm doing errands around the house or cleaning or whatever, I'm listening. I'm not watching. And so I've been forced to watch the videos. When I say forced, it's kind of tongue in cheek, but I'm I'm reviewing them. I'm editing, not editing them, but see if there's uh something that I'm also trying to pull some pictures from and whatever. So I'm faced with having to see myself on camera a lot more than I'd like to. You weren't expecting that going in. I was not expecting that going in. You start noticing the aging process a little bit more because you know, in the morning you get ready, do your makeup, whatever, you do your hair, and that's it. But when I'm watching, you know, 45 minutes of myself, um, you know, whatever little clips, it's hard not to see yourself in that way. You know, the weight, the skin, the wrinkles, the, you know, crazy hair, like all of the things. And I don't like that. I don't like it. I mean, even the way we're sitting. Yeah. Like every single time I've watched the video, I think, oh, I don't like my face in this way, so I need to do this more. I know. Or I need to do this, or I need to put my hand. Like, I don't like that. I don't want to think about or overthink. I know. And so I try really hard to compartmentalize, but is this, you know, like I whatever.

SPEAKER_00 12:33

I'm so with you. The whole angle thing is big for me. I know I said to our producer, we had a guest here not long ago, and you know, she was uh seated to my right. So I had to look at her, which caused the camera to look at my what I call my gobbler. And I was like, oh my gosh, I didn't realize it was that bad.

SPEAKER_02 12:53

And so yeah, we're our own worst critic of There's this old um friends episode, and I'm sure you've seen it, and you know I quote friends a lot, where Monica used to be way heavier than she was like when she was in teen years and stuff. Yes. And so in one of the videos, they find this video of her like prom or whatever. Yes, I remember that. And the camera, and then they make she's like, the camera puts 10 pounds, and one of them goes, How many cameras were on you? That's what I think of. Like when I'm watching, I was like, oh my God. Yes, 20 times 15.

SPEAKER_00 13:32

That's why we have I have the goblin. Right.

SPEAKER_02 13:34

Each of them adds 10 pounds. There's on it like all around. Yeah. So anyway, my point to all of it is just listen. Don't watch the videos, just listen. See, I disagree with that though.

SPEAKER_00 13:49

I do disagree with that because I think when when they can see our interactions, because sometimes we get animated. And I have noticed a couple of times when I just listen, there are references we've made because we can see our body language that you don't hear or understand because you're only listening. So I think I can see that. I can see that. But anyway, whatever.

SPEAKER_02 14:14

Obviously, listen, we don't care. Just listen, watch, whatever want you prefer, and like, follow, share, subscribe, all the things. All the things.

SPEAKER_00 14:25

This is our com this is actually a commercial. Yes, right, right. Brain's gone bold.

SPEAKER_02 14:31

Well, but I mean, we've thought about it. We've talked about the fact that, you know, some people probably don't listen all the way to the end. And that's when we ask them to do the all the stuff. And so maybe we should do it up front. I mean, we are still learning. Yes, we had 20 episodes as of this morning go out, and we've got more coming. It's almost been a year. Can you believe that? It's almost been a year. You know, I think about, like you said, you listened to the first episode. I remember coming in that first day to do it and having no idea what we were even doing, what we were going to talk about. And here we are, eight months later, you know, whatever, still feeling excited about it, still feeling really good about, and still feeling like we have a lot to say. And so, yeah, it was a long story short. Um, I love it. That's your answer. I love it.

SPEAKER_00 15:24

I love it. What about you? Um, a lot of the same. Uh, I think, you know, I think our personalities tend to show up in a lot of different ways, both on the podcast and off. Meaning, my critiquing of, you know, do we have the perfect topic? Are we being entertaining enough? You know, I say to you all the time, I don't want it to be boring. Is this boring? I'm so worried about things being boring. Um and so I am always evaluating more so than I probably want to.

SPEAKER_02 15:59

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 15:59

Um, but I'm having fun. I am. I enjoy the conversations. Um, regardless of whether anyone listens, I think it's just a fun exercise. It is, but I want people to listen. Yeah, of course.

SPEAKER_02 16:11

It's fine. Because otherwise we could have the same conversation sitting by the pool drinking a margarita. I mean, you know, like really. But the fact that we come to a place to have the conversation, we want people to listen. We want people to participate. So maybe we should just go to some like social place and bring people into our conversation. Would it be as fun? No. I don't think so either. No. So what's the difference? You know, if we're saying we want to build this community and whatever, we want feedback. Because we don't really want to be around people.

unknown 16:42

That's it.

SPEAKER_02 16:42

That's it.

SPEAKER_00 16:43

This is our way of being kind of social. Right.

SPEAKER_02 16:46

We want to interact with you, but at arm's length. You stay on your side of the screen with We want to curate and tell us how great we are. Yes, exactly.

SPEAKER_00 17:03

But I do think that's, you know, I think that's a valid point, though. I mean, it's not like you and I would enjoy walking into a place and trying to bring people in.

SPEAKER_02 17:11

No, that's like my own personal terror of having to go someplace and then I don't know. I mean, we do it all the time, though. I mean, think about it. Think about the the professional opportunities we've got walk into knowingly, right?

SPEAKER_00 17:26

And yet for this, we're like Was that one word, by the way, knowing Lee? Was that knowing Lee or knowing Lee? I just want to be clear on that because both could apply.

SPEAKER_02 17:37

Yeah. You know what? As I was saying it, I wasn't sure which one was appropriate. And after I let knowing sit for a while, it felt like it needed a lee. So I added crystal you added it. And in my head, it also wasn't as noticeable. Like there was more beats in between the knowing Lee. Because we know Lee. That is so. So that would have to be something you see on video.

SPEAKER_01 18:15

Exactly. Exactly. Right, right.

SPEAKER_02 18:19

Yeah. I did glitch for a minute.

SPEAKER_00 18:21

Yeah. Yeah. So that's too funny. Anyway.

SPEAKER_02 18:25

I always say I'm gonna bring tissues in and then never do.

SPEAKER_00 18:27

I know. I know that we've been saying that from day one. I know. I know. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 18:32

So and you know, there's not been any, like I still think about some of the conversations that we've had as well. And we've heard from people about, and while they don't comment, they talk to us personally about some of the things that we've said, particularly around shame. Um, my sister is really good for listening to it and then calling me, and whether I'm talking to her or leaving a voicemail and downloading the comments that she has about different things, which I appreciate and I would love having that.

SPEAKER_00 19:04

She likes to call and tell you all of the things that she does not agree with. Correct. But especially she does not agree with me. Especially.

SPEAKER_02 19:11

My friend Wendy does not agree with you. And so, but I I mean, I'm sure you would love to have that conversation too because you love, and as do I, the way people think. Like what made you think that, or what made you I that's fascinating to me.

SPEAKER_00 19:28

And and the other thing for me is I love having conversations that force me to think about something in a different way.

SPEAKER_01 19:36

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 19:37

So part of what I enjoy about our conversations is I do hear you and I take it in. And sometimes I don't immediately process and change my mind, but sometimes I do. And so those folks who are, you know, have so much passion around my opinion, it's like, well, share with me, you know, why I should be thinking differently about it. And maybe I will.

unknown 19:59

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 20:00

Or maybe I won't. Like either way. Maybe I won't. And that's okay. But I'm open to like hearing different perspectives. And uh, you know, I respectfully want that those conversations to happen, you know.

SPEAKER_02 20:12

Um I just, you know, I think about the question as far as being able to disagree, again, in a respectful way. And I think about some conversations that I've had with, you know, some of my nephews or my niece or whatever, where we disagree. And sometimes that disagreement becomes loud. But it doesn't, it's never, in my mind, it never crosses the line of disrespect. It's just passion, right? And so no understanding, you know, that difference can sometimes be hard with people you don't know and love. Right. And so you read a comment, it's a little bit you again, because you don't know the person, possibly, you may misinterpret it. And we have to remind ourselves it's not personal, it's about the content, it's about whatever. And think about the conversation we had with Luis. Yeah. Right. So he does a podcast, he does a variety of different things, and he was sharing with us that his most recent venue has been about the soccer tournaments that are going on. And that there's a lot of really passionate um supporters or non-supporters that because they are upset with how they're either team performed or whatever, they then take out that aggravation, you know, on him personally to comment on whatever things. And so I'm kind of like, I don't say I'm waiting for that, but you know, I am waiting for that.

SPEAKER_00 21:42

Oh man. I get I think we're gonna have to see if reality is is gonna hit you in the face a little bit. Listen, it would hurt my feelings. Don't get me wrong. You know what? Um so our producer, we were talking to before this episode about this exact thing. And Uh he was saying he had a post that kind of let's just call it went viral. I don't think he used that word, but uh a lot of interaction on that post. And there were people who were very angry and passionate. And he said, But you know, I'm evaluating. There were like 300 comments. A lot of them were angry and taking things out on me personally and not agreeing with what we were saying. But it's always um the angry people who are the loudest, or the I can't remember the words he used. He said, and then I look at it has over 8,000 likes. Right. And those people, they're quietly saying, I agree with you, or I enjoyed this content. And I'm like, oh my goodness. I never actually thought about it. It's a great perspective. It is such a great perspective, which is there are even more people who enjoyed this or agree with it or are being respectful than those who are not. Yes. So let's not focus on those who are not, except for the fact that they are upping your engagement.

SPEAKER_02 22:57

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_00 22:58

He also said that you know you make someone really mad when they start coming after your personal appearance.

SPEAKER_02 23:04

Well, I mean, again, I don't want to make somebody mad to do that, but you know, I would like more interaction. The thing, so in this little piece that he was talking about, that also really kind of underscored for me is how as a society we are so willing to talk about all the things that are wrong and are much more quiet when things are going right. And so, you know, I think about it for myself. When you go to a restaurant, you eat the dinner, and then you leave. Like there was nothing wrong with it. It was a good dinner, whatever. Maybe you told the waitress, oh, it was very good, and then you leave. But if something had gone wrong, you're the first one to go, oh my God, my steak was not cooked well, or there was whatever. You know, we should put the same energy into all the things that go right. You know, it's part of the whole gratitude, making sure that you take time to say all the things that you're thankful for versus all the things that were so upset that didn't go our way. And so if we could flip that, that would be a really nice thing to be able to do. I'd like to say that I do that, but I would be wrong. I do think I'm a very grateful person. I do feel grateful. I feel a lot of gratitude, but I'm also a complainer. I want things to be the way I want things to be. And I don't think there's anything wrong with that. No. But there should be equal billing, is my point.

SPEAKER_00 24:28

It's it, yeah. For all of us. For all of us. Yeah. Yeah. Like I I can't tell you that I've ever left a positive review as an example after I've gone to a restaurant or something. Have you? Yes. You have.

SPEAKER_02 24:44

I do. See? Then you are I do, but I'll tell you, it's it's self-serving. So I've been a Yelper elite member for like seven years. Oh. And so you have to leave a certain number of reviews. And they could be good and bad. Oh. But I try to every place that I go leave a review. And more often than not, they're positive reviews. It's very rare that I leave a negative review. Because I mean, gratefully, I've had good experiences. It's very rare that I have a bad experience. So yes, I do that just to keep up my cred. What do you get for that? Nothing. Well, you get invited to elite events, and you know, there may be a new restaurant is opening, and so they invite you so that you can be part of their tasting menu. And it is, you know, completely free to you. That's fine. You get to try it is fun. I haven't done one in a really long time. I just haven't had time to.

SPEAKER_00 25:33

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 25:34

So it's been um it's been a while since I've attended and they do a ball every year, which is a lot of fun. Um, they do like Halloween events, and I love to dress up and wear costumes and stuff. Um, so I had a I called her my partner in crime, Deedra, who lived here. And so we did all this stuff together, and then she moved away from me. And so I haven't really found another elite person to go with.

SPEAKER_00 25:56

Well, I mean, I might not live near, but I can fly in a plane. You're not as much fun.

SPEAKER_02 26:01

I am just kidding, Marie.

SPEAKER_00 26:07

Again, this is camera worthy. You gotta get that face. This episode and podcast are both over.

SPEAKER_02 26:16

Sorry you didn't get your audience. This is it. This is where we work out. No, seriously, I would love that. Like if you really were serious that you would come in for that. Yeah. Every time you come in, I want to do fun stuff. And you always put the kibosh on me. Um, when we're done, we're done. You're like, uh, you know, I put a few things out there that we could go do, and we haven't done them. And so I don't want to push it. Like, I don't want to put my agenda on you.

SPEAKER_00 26:43

Well, maybe you need to come up with more fun things.

unknown 26:46

Wow.

SPEAKER_00 26:48

Okay. There you go. How's it feel? Oh, wow. That's all right. I'm just testing the waters to work.

SPEAKER_02 26:58

I really would like to do something fun when you come in town instead of just business.

SPEAKER_00 27:02

Well, then let's not say this isn't fun, because this is fun for me. I know, but let's like we should go to the beach.

SPEAKER_02 27:08

We should go to the alligator farm. We should go zip lining. No. Yeah. No. But let's do it. Okay. Okay. Well, not today.

SPEAKER_00 27:19

So just off record. Off record. You're the one putting the kayak. I am. I am. I'm putting the kibosh. Okay, okay.

SPEAKER_02 27:28

Um, I'm so sorry. I distracted you. You did before I called you Marie and told you you weren't fun.

SPEAKER_00 27:36

Right. Which you know is like my worst nightmare to be boring.

SPEAKER_02 27:41

You're not boring. You're not. I'm you might get bored with me, but you are not boring to me. Understand the distinction? I do. Okay.

SPEAKER_00 27:51

I'm not sure if I fully believe it, but we'll come back to it. Okay. What were you gonna say? I don't know.

unknown 27:58

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 27:58

So anyway, you were saying, as far as the podcast is concerned, you do find it fun. You are enjoying doing it. Has it served, like, did you have a purpose or a goal in mind? That was the other question you asked when we first started talking.

SPEAKER_00 28:13

I think the purpose or goal was connection with people. Okay. Uh relatability. Yeah, at arm's length, relatability. I wanted to help people feel not alone, or to help people feel I don't know if seen is the right word, but that they could see themselves in our conversations. Like, okay, yeah. Or I never thought of it that way, or I feel that way too, or I've experienced that as well. So that kind of connection. Um, I will say to you that I shared after our very first episode, and I said this to someone more recently, I felt more like myself during that recording than I had felt in a long time.

SPEAKER_02 28:54

What were the differences for you? I the differences in what like when you say you felt more like yourself. What were you doing differently in that moment or when we're recording that you don't think you're doing that doesn't carry into real life?

SPEAKER_00 29:08

That is such a great question. And I think it was just being more of who I am. I I guess sharing who I am with whoever was listening or more than that. Vulnerability. It could be like I felt super vulnerable during that session. I mean, I guess inherently it was there. Yeah. Um, but the topics weren't super vulnerable. Yeah. Yeah. Uh, I think it was a fun episode for me. And not to focus in on that, but I don't bring fun Maria out in my daily life enough. And so I think that part of my personality got to come out a bit in our conversation, the playful. That's I think what it was, the playful part.

SPEAKER_02 29:51

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 29:52

Uh and it's a good awareness. Yeah. I just felt connected to parts of myself that I don't often uh bring out to play.

SPEAKER_02 30:00

I, you know, it is a really good awareness. And I think we've talked about this before. That, you know, when we first met each other, it was in a professional environment. And I can only speak of my impression of you as a senior HR leader in the organization. Very professional, very put together, very um appropriate. Right. And but those are all the things that you want in that leader.

SPEAKER_01 30:29

Yes.

SPEAKER_02 30:30

But you also showed a softer side in conversations and even in interactions that, again, are professional. What I didn't see is the playful side until later, until, you know, we started having Marie margarita afternoons and stuff like that. Yeah. And it wasn't about the drink, it was truly because you were able to let playful Maria out. We were dealing with some really tense stuff. Yes. And you in particular and your team were dealing with some really tense stuff. And so, you know, expectation-wise, it matched. Now, in the career that you've chosen for yourself and the way that you've, you know, curated your day, there's a lot of heavy stuff that you deal with. And so, of course, now I've got my coach hat on, and I'm thinking about how do we let playful Maria have more opportunities to shine? Yes. Because it's a balance. Yes. You know, if serious Maria has to be the one who's wearing the hat all the time, then poor playful Maria all closed away. Yes. Yes.

SPEAKER_00 31:28

And it's so interesting that this word is coming up playful, or even the word play, because I've been reading a couple articles recently about the importance of play as adults and how little of it we do. Uh I I need to like understand that better.

SPEAKER_02 31:45

There's an adult camp, like a like a sleepaway camp, like a summer camp. There's an adult camp that you can sign up. There's a they're apparently cropping up, but I do think it's because of this need for being playful. Yes. And they did a Netflix special on, and it was it was a spoofy kind of thing in that they made it a competition and Josh, I can't remember his last name, he's an actor. He kind of MC'd it. And basically, Sleepaway Camp kind of like think of Meatballs. Remember the movie Meatballs? And they had all of these events, canoes, and they had to race and do these things. But it was so much fun. And you know, they many of them were parents, they'd left their children. There was a couple of married couples, but most of them were they were married but single on the show. And I don't mean single, they weren't trying to mingle or anything. But they had so much fun, and like the interviews were really about I go to work from like seven to seven every single day. There is no room for fun. There is no room for it. I might laugh because somebody said something funny, but I am not having fun. This is pure fun. And then the competition kind of creeps in. They were talking about how you get to know people so quickly in that kind of environment and you develop these bonds and whatever. But why can't we do that? I would go. I think I would too. Like one week out of the year. All right, I'm writing it down.

SPEAKER_00 33:11

It could be our retreat.

SPEAKER_02 33:13

But see, this is where this is where non-fun Janine goes, but we have work to do. So they have to be like separate events. Because you know, the reality is we do have work to do. Yes, we do. We do have things to accomplish. We have bail bills to pay, people that count on us, all of the things. So, how do we in just everyday life find ways to be playful? To let playful Maria out, playful Janine out. So I I really do, and I will, I've written down the fun cam thing. I've written it down so that we can see. It's probably like four million dollars to attend one week. Sold. And you know, can you put a price on it? Probably not. No.

SPEAKER_00 33:57

Except then you have to go back to your non-fun life. I know.

SPEAKER_02 34:02

I know. Well, but hopefully it would spark something for you, right? To think of the ways that I don't want to lose this. But I I think it's easy for us not to seek it because we don't know what we're missing. I mean, we kind of peripherally know what we're missing, but we don't know what we're missing. Yes. And so if we knew what we were missing, we would find ways to protect it.

SPEAKER_00 34:22

Oh, this is speaking to my heart. Yes. Yes. Because yeah.

SPEAKER_02 34:27

Because this is important. This is important.

SPEAKER_00 34:29

Because you know the whole part of me that I get very easily bored.

SPEAKER_02 34:35

Yeah. Yeah. Well, you have a higher sense for sense desire, I don't know what the word is, for adventure. Yeah. But your adventures don't have to be. We talked about this a little bit yesterday. They don't have to be these grandiose kind of I'm hiking the Grand Canyon. It's or hanging from a building, right? You are looking for, I think the example I use, there's a new store that you're really excited about and it just opened in your area. Right. And going there, that's fun. That's a fun little moment. Right. When I first moved to Pennsylvania, I, mom and I did what I call the touristy stuff all the time. Like every weekend, we went somewhere. We, you know, either drove or I saw that there was like a festival happening. We went to a ton of different festivals. Anyway, when I came back to Jax, I said, I need to do that. That was so much fun. We really enjoyed it. We really explored all these different areas. Haven't done anything, by the way. However, I've collected a bunch of things to do. I literally have a folder where I've put stuff in that folder. And I told my friend Steph, I was like, Steph, you're gonna do some of these things with me because she's native Jax Jax, has not done any of this stuff either. And so still haven't done any of it. And I've been back since 22.

SPEAKER_00 35:49

Oh, it's been that long. Holy cow.

SPEAKER_02 35:51

Yeah, we moved back to the end of 22.

SPEAKER_00 35:53

Okay, so tonight we're looking at your calendar and we're going to identify one of those events you want to go to, how it matches up with your availability, and then we're gonna call Steph and tell her to put it on her calendar. That's what we're doing tonight.

SPEAKER_02 36:06

No, we're gonna look for a camp. But I will do that. I will do that. I um, yes, I want to do more. And as you know, I'm trying to network more, I'm trying to meet new people instead of staying in my, I don't want to call it a rut, but I don't have the same thirst for adventure that you do. I'm okay because I don't get enough time to read a book and I love reading books. And so that to me is something I'm trying to carve more time in my life out to do or you know, interact, be present in something instead of staying closed off. I'm trying. So how can we let Fun Maria have more of those mini adventures too?

SPEAKER_00 36:53

Fun, playful Maria.

SPEAKER_02 36:55

Fun, playful Maria.

SPEAKER_00 36:56

Yes. You need to go to sleepaway camps and yeah.

SPEAKER_02 37:01

Or maybe you have to like do what I've been doing, whether you do it or not, or whether I do it or not, like put stuff in your folder as you see things happening, start putting them in them periodically when you know you have some time coming up, start looking through your folder and start clicking those things off. To me, it's not a bucket folder.

SPEAKER_00 37:17

It's a very genine thing. I know. It's a very genine thing to do. And I love it. And maybe you can do that for me.

SPEAKER_02 37:29

No. Maria needs to curate the life Maria wants to have.

SPEAKER_00 37:36

I want you to define my life and I'll go live it.

unknown 37:40

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 37:41

Again, no, because you don't really want that. I know. You think you might say it all loud, but you don't really want that. Because the life that I would curate for you would be more similar to my own instead of the things that you'd want to do. Yeah. So yes, yes, that's true. There it was, there was a newsletter, and I cannot remember what it was called, but it was basically, I'm just gonna make it up, things to do in Jacksonville. And so I would get it, and every time it would come out, they no longer publish it, by the way. And every time it would come out, I would take that and I would slide it into that folder. Some of them are good, some of them not so good, but the ones that I liked, I would slide in there. I mean, half the stuff is probably not even valid anymore. But some of it was silly things like the largest flea market, you know, was it within 45 minutes. But that's a great afternoon little drive there, whatever. So, and I didn't even like to shop, but there was something interesting about the kinds of things that people would sell at a flea market. You know, like that would be interesting to me. Yeah. So I don't know. That's an adventure. I like trying new things, you know. And I know you do too. Yes. Yes. Yes. For the most part, you don't like to try new things. Depends on what it is. Give me an example of something that wouldn't be fun. WrestleMania! Although I would probably enjoy going. At least once.

SPEAKER_00 39:04

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 39:05

It wouldn't be something that I would consider like as a regular event.

SPEAKER_00 39:09

I don't know. I think for me, like things that I would have done when I was younger that I wouldn't do now, like bungee jumping or skydiving, that sort of thing.

SPEAKER_02 39:15

I um Is that pre or post having a kid, or is it more your age?

SPEAKER_00 39:22

It I think interesting question. Don't know the answer. I don't think it's directly correlated with having a kid, but I think Yeah. I something has changed with my biology that makes me not able to do those things anymore, the amount of fear I have. Okay. And even going on roller coasters and that sort of thing. I used to be a thrill seeker when it came to that sort of thing. Really?

SPEAKER_02 39:47

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 39:47

Never thought I would be a person.

SPEAKER_02 39:49

So now you that's the fear of whatever may or may not happen. Okay. Okay. I've never been a thrill seeker, although I have enjoyed things like roller coasters. I can't physically, because of neurological issues, like my brain doesn't move fast enough to switch long of far and close. And so that feeling when it happens is so unsettling that it just it's not something that I'm willing to mess with for a roller coaster.

SPEAKER_00 40:24

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 40:25

Right. It just but I don't miss it either.

SPEAKER_00 40:27

Yes. Something like I do miss it because my son and I, we used to go, I'm gonna call it roller coastering. Yeah. And every summer we were on roller coasters all the time, having fun together. And when I learned that I could no longer do this, I had taken him. We actually flew down here to Tampa to go to Bush Gardens. Uh and we first ride I went on. It was a roller coaster. It was one of those that hang you hang down below it. Okay. Um you like hang from it basically. So are you upside down? No, no. You've never seen those where you're like hanging from the track as opposed to sitting on it?

SPEAKER_02 41:08

No. Really?

SPEAKER_00 41:09

No. Okay, I'll show you. Okay. Anyway, we did that. And I got immediately sick. Now I didn't throw up or anything, but we got off and I was so like motion sick, I guess, is what it was. I did not feel well at all. And I thought, what is happening? And I'm sure he was like, all right, let's go. I had to sit there and kind of collect myself for a while. What is happening? This is not good. Yeah. And I continued going on rides because obviously I needed to. Uh, but it was not great. And ever since then, I haven't been the same. And it's a biological thing that happens. Like, I don't exactly know the science behind it, but yeah.

SPEAKER_02 41:47

I wonder, I mean, so it's been a while, right? That was how many years ago? Probably four or five five. Do you think like would you try again to see if maybe I have tried again.

SPEAKER_00 41:59

So we've gone to like the local amusement park or whatever, and I will do it. I don't get the same thrill from it. Because it's uh to your point, you use the word unsettling. I just come off feeling unsettled. Yes as opposed to feeling And that's not fun. Yeah, yeah. You know? Because he doesn't want me there anymore anyway. So sure. I get it.

SPEAKER_02 42:19

It comes back around. Comes back around. He'll watch her there again someday, just not yet. Friends are much more important at this stage than mom. Ah, I know. I know. So cute though. Isn't it cute? It is because it's part of them growing and becoming their own individual human. I know. So yeah, there's something about it that's kind of adorable. It's watching them little stretch their little wings. Yeah. I know. Again, as as a non-parent, easy for a nonparent to say.

SPEAKER_00 42:51

I know. Or a non-parent of a teenager nonetheless. You've witnessed. I've witnessed it. I've witnessed it.

SPEAKER_02 42:57

And you know, you certainly, even as an aunt, feel the, I don't want to say the pull, but if there's a choice between hanging with Aunt Janine and going with my buddy, I'm picking going with my buddy. And not even looking back. Yeah. And so yeah, there's I felt felt that pang of, well, because there was a time they'd want to hang with me and number one. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, now I'm dispress dispressed. Now I'm dispressed. You're coming up with all kinds of words. It was disappointed and depressed. And I just kind of morphed into dispressed. I like it.

SPEAKER_00 43:32

I like it.

SPEAKER_02 43:34

Yeah. You know, it's interesting. I think about like this podcast, and I don't know that I ever had any kind of like specific goal. And I was listening to you describe, you know, helping others, create community, all of those things which are so I don't want to say uniquely you, because I think there's a lot of people, of course, that feel that. And I wonder, or it makes me wonder. When I think about what we do here and this is where of course we need our audience to kind of interact back are we hitting that mark? You know, d does anybody come away going, yeah, I felt that and they're just hitting the like button and not making a comment. So to think about what Louise was saying with the 8,000 likes versus the 300 comments. Yeah. Maybe that's really all that you know matters is that it's out there and the interaction is just a subset. Yeah. You know, it's not as important as the impressions or the whatever it is of people seeing it. So maybe, maybe that's what it is.

SPEAKER_00 44:39

You know, I will say so the one episode that I did feel we got that feedback from was the friends episode, the one about how difficult it is to make and keep friends as an adult. Yes. And that episode was life-changing is a big word for me to use, but the impact of that episode on me was huge. Really? During that episode, I shared, I was pretty vulnerable. And I shared how it's hard for me to do the reaching out. And there are friends of mine that I wish would reach out to me, and I miss them or want that connection. And the a couple of those friends actually listened to the podcast and reached out to me. We got together for the first time in probably in one case, it's a decade or more. Um, we've gotten together more than once. And so, you know, they've become more a part of my of my life because of that episode. And so I talked about connection and that sort of thing. I didn't necessarily mean it in that literal of a way for my for my friends, but it happened.

SPEAKER_02 45:47

Yeah. So we've changed one person's trajectory for the better. But I mean, honestly, and that's really all we can ask for, right? That there can be a positive outcome. You know, so whether we have a real tangible, I want to do like, I don't have a number in mind. I don't have like, what are we measuring success by? Well, I'd like to go back to, I'm not even measuring success. We are doing this because this is something that we both so far enjoy doing. And when it stops becoming enjoyable, we'll stop doing it. Yeah. You know, that's kind of where I am on that. Yeah. I think there's a there's a time, there's certainly a monetary investment. You know, you fly here so that we can make this happen. Um, we obviously pay for studio time. There's, you know, things that go into it, but it's all it's a labor of love.

SPEAKER_00 46:40

It is. So please like, subscribe, share, and comment. Yes, please. And this is the second commercial. Back to the regularly scheduled commercial.

SPEAKER_02 46:50

Yes. We interrupt your commercial with this commercial. There's a skit that Jimmy Fallon does, and it's basically like, oh wait, we've got breaking news, and then it's like non-breaking news that becomes the break, and then he breaks into that news for this other news. I as you're saying, that's of course what I think of. I always relate to other either media, social media, or comedians, actual media, comedians, friends.

SPEAKER_00 47:15

I know. I know, I know. Okay. Well, I think we can end this commercial for today. Okay. If you've said all you need to say about the audience. Yeah, we're gonna end there today. Okay.

unknown 47:28

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 47:29

I do I genuinely wish there was something I could say that would make somebody respond and go, I don't agree. And then we can have a conversation about what we don't agree about.

SPEAKER_00 47:40

But Okay, well, let's start here. Go back to all of our previous podcasts and listen to all the ways that you don't agree with Maria. Because apparently I'm the most polarizing person on this. That's true.

SPEAKER_02 47:52

That's true. I need to be more like Maria. Am I too agreeable? said no one ever. Wow. And you're you're judgmental. We've already said that. I am. I'm judgmental, I'm opinionated. Yes, I know. But apparently, I just I'm like everybody else. That's the same. That's what it is. I'm too darn likable. I looked back, so the episode that was published this morning, the you're probably, I don't know if you saw the thumbnail, but when you guys see the thumbnails, I go through frame by frame at like 1.25 speed. So I go super fast, and then I'll see something. Either you make a face or I'll make a face, and then I go down to 0.5. Oh, geez. So I watch us don't, and that's how I'm able to get the right thing. And so the frame that I chose was me going, have the day you deserve. And it just made me giggle. And that at the end of the day, is really what these are about. Yes. They're about making us giggle.

SPEAKER_00 48:58

Okay, there we go.

SPEAKER_02 48:59

Right, and hopefully you guys too. That's that's our goal to make us to make ourselves giggle. Giggle.

SPEAKER_00 49:05

Yes, yes.

SPEAKER_02 49:06

So, okay, this was fun. Is this our form of play? It could be. This could be our own little playground. Okay. Maybe, maybe. We'll have to think on that.

SPEAKER_00 49:17

All right. So do the things.

SPEAKER_02 49:19

Do the things. Like, please, follow, subscribe, share. With your girlfriends. If there's a conversation that we're having that you want to have with your girlfriends or your boyfriends, and I mean but I don't mean in a romantic way. Because I'm a girl, and that's the way I think. I think as a girl. I mean, I can't change that. And so when I say with your girlfriends, think about your girls. I made it that way. I made it that way. I again your people, I'll say it that way instead. Your people, whoever your people are, like, share if we said something funny, stupid, thought-provoking, that's the other thing. You know, that you want to gather around and have a conversation. I'd love to be that kind of podcast that we spark ideas and we spark this great conversation with your people. So yeah, do that. Do that. Yes. Thank you. Appreciate it. Have the day you deserve. Until next time. Bye.