Hey, how are you doing? Tim here. And uh we are diving deep into the 10 words of life. And this will probably be the uh last deep dive I do for a little bit. I'm getting away with the family a little bit. And as much as I would love to podcast while on vacation, I think wisdom counsels me to just uh to just take a break for a moment and then get back later in August. And uh yeah, so you can catch up on old episodes. And also, if there's some things you want me to address in future episodes, feel free to send me some questions. But um not uh not um ceasing the podcast, just taking a little break here in August uh while I got some time off. So, but I did wanna uh I did want to just do one more on wrap up this honor your father and mother week. I mean, I I could do a bunch more, but at least do one more on this um to wrap to wrap the week up. So you know, one of the ideas I talked about this past Sunday was just what biblical parenting is. And even that phrase, you know, biblical parenting, the you know, what how scripture thinks about parenting? I would it's an interesting question. Uh you know, um even that phrase, like if there what image pops into your mind when you hear biblical parenting? Like what assumptions is it positive, is it negative? Kind of what picture, uh what is it, what uh comes to your mind when I say that? I um argued on Sunday, and I would um argue right now that uh the heart of biblical parenting um is uh teaching and training children to know and love God, to rest in the love of God, and to love other people, to treat other people the way God would have other people treated. That this loving God and loving God, passing this on is the heart of biblical parenting. And I think sometimes, I mean, you know, depending on who you are, I think at least one way that um the phrase biblical parenting can get misunderstood, at least one direction is kind of an over-emphasis on, I mean, there's all different ways, an overemphasis on kind of strict discipline, um, an over-emphasis on like cognitive knowledge. Um ultimately the the goal of biblical parenting is that the kids would um have the opportunity to love God and love others themselves. And, you know, recognizing the whole time I said this, that we parents, we all we can do is set the table, we can't make them eat. Um, we cannot control the outcome of those choices that our kids make. You know, Adam and Eve had a wonderful family of origin. Um ultimately humans have free will, and uh and we don't control that outcome, but we do we do um parent towards it, parent towards that in hope, we pray towards it in hope. So um, you know, a whole bunch of texts come to mind around this. I mentioned Deuteronomy 6 as a as a uh a really important um text in the Hebrew scriptures that paints a picture of um of biblical parenting, uh that said, love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, and mind and strength. And then it goes on, impress these on your children, talk about them when you sit at home, when you walk along the road, when you lie down, when you get up. Um, and then jumping down to verse 20 in chapter 6. In the future, when your son asks you, what is the meaning of these stipulations, decrees, and laws the Lord God has commanded us? Tell him, we were slaves of Pharaoh in Egypt, but the Lord God Almighty, um, and it goes on to tell the story of uh the people of Israel. And so it it the picture is this parent-child relationship of asking questions, of instructing, teaching them to love God, and in um integrating them into the story of God's redemption in the world. Uh, this is the picture. Uh, you know, this goes on. Let's see here. Um, like in Proverbs, what was one of those passages I was looking at in Proverbs here? See if I can find it quickly. Uh, Proverbs, this is Proverbs 6.20. My son, keep your father's command and do not forsake your mother's teaching. Bind them always on your heart and fasten them around your neck. When you walk, they will guide you. When you sleep, they will watch over you. When you awake, they will speak to you. You know, the the the idea is that um mom and dad are teaching their kids like the way of life. Uh, this is this is the image. You know, I read that Ephesians uh 6.4 passage to uh to raise children up in the instruction of the Lord. Like this is the image over and over again, teaching kids to love God, love others, know the story of salvation, to live within it, love other people well, walk in wisdom. Like this is the image. And um the you know, the discipline texts, and I think this is the you know, because there's you know, definitely scripture talks about disciplining children. Um, but we need like this is here's critical, especially if you've been exposed to kind of overly harsh images of of kind of quote unquote biblical parenting. The discipline texts are always in service of uh the goal of kids coming to love God and love others well and walk in wisdom. Um, and in this way, discipline and you know, just notice even in the English language, discipline and discipleship have the same uh root to them. That our discipline is part of our discipleship of our children. Um and and I think this is where, uh especially if you've been kind of exposed to overly kind of harsh uh parenting, I think this is where we get confused that like whatever, like biblically, when we think about the idea of discipline, um it's it's like it's like a good coach, it's like a good trainer. Um not you know, when when discipline goes wrong, it's when uh it's kind of to in service of a parent's anxiety. Like I my world feels out of control. I want you to behave so I feel more calm. Uh it's in service of a parent's like sense of reputation. Like this feels embarrassing. I want to, I want to be perceived as a good parent, so you need to behave publicly so I feel good about how others think about me. Um it's in service of just convenience around the house. I want you to do these things that makes my life more convenient. I mean, there's uh there's all sorts of ways that discipline can get pointed at all the wrong goals. And to be honest, like as parents, it takes a lot of self-awareness to reflect on what am I trying to achieve here? Is this really about helping, uh, helping my child come to rest in the love of God, know the love of God, love other people well, or or is am I actually kind of disciplining towards a whole bunch of other things? And this takes a lot of humility, self-awareness, uh, because um because biblical parenting recognizes in some ways it's a practice of love of other, love of neighbor. Like we get these other little human beings into our home. And like we get to practice. What does it mean to love another person and to create an environment where they can come to know and trust the love of God uh for themselves? Uh yeah, and it's not fundamentally about control, it's about um the uh in in a lot of ways, it's about evangelism discipleship, it's about inviting them to know the love of God uh and to walk in that love, to trust in it and to love others. And so our, you know, biblically, we are instructors, we're coaches, we're trainers. Yes, discipline is part of it, but discipline is part of discipleship aimed at those biblical goals. Um, and in fact, it's so interesting. Uh you Google this, the most, if you like uh psychologists study um what is the most effective, like the most, what kind of parenting um results in the kind of like kids uh that are most flourishing in the world. Um, and the term that gets used in psychological literature is authoritative parenting, which is really because you know, in our world today, people don't like authority, you know, but it's authoritative parenting that combines high expectation with high warmth. It's that's what that's the combination. If you have the demanding expectations without the warmth, uh it's see Ephesians 6.4, it exasperates uh children, it wears them down. Uh, if you have the high warmth, high expectation, laissez-faire parenting, that's where um that's where the whims of the child are in control. That's where parenting is really about what you know, whatever the kids want to do. Um uh that actually that boundaryless parenting, kids don't flourish there. Um, it is the high expectations and the high warmth that like that is the uh combination where kids most flourish. And I don't think that's surprising when you look at scripture and this picture of uh parents who um in uh modeling the love of God um towards their children, they literally embody the warmth of God towards their children while also wanting to train them up uh to love God and love others for themselves. And so this is, yeah, there's a lot more to say about that. That is the picture. And once again, and I said this on Sunday, this is not exclusive to uh just people who biologically have children. But what the New Testament does is it says to be adopted into the family of God is to have spiritual brothers and sisters, spiritual mothers and fathers, spiritual sons and daughters, spiritual nieces and nephews. And so this applies, if you are part of the family of God, you have an obligation uh to pass the faith on to those coming after us. And what exactly that's gonna look, you know, it's volunteering down in Treasurer Land 412. It's gonna, you know, maybe you're you know, maybe you're uh mentoring somebody in their 20s, or it's not it, it doesn't look the same way uh for every person, but it does uh that we do like who is that person who is my uh my spiritual son or daughter, my spiritual niece or nephew, and how do I help um encourage the faith uh in them? Obviously, it won't look the same as uh uh you know, it won't look the exact same as a as a mom raising up a two year old, um but uh uh uh in the family of God, um this is part of each and every one of our calling. So, biblical parenting. Hope that is encouraging to you. Can't wait to pick back up with some more 10 words of life later on this month. And in the meantime, have a great summer. Grace and peace.