Episode 21: Starve and Share

Today the girls share stories of the craziest things said over the pulpit.

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Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

So we asked you guys for some stories. You guys did not come through. So screw all of you. Take that out.

SPEAKER_02 0:11

Uh welcome back to the Saints and Sisters podcast, everyone.

SPEAKER_01 0:28

I'm Lizzie, I'm the Saint. I'm Hannah. I'm the sister. How was your week, Hannah? Uh, good.

SPEAKER_02 0:34

Well, long.

SPEAKER_01 0:36

I put in a concerted effort that time to not do the, and this is our podcast.

SPEAKER_02 0:43

But I do love that you pointed it out to make it funny. Right. So um good. It's been a good week. It's been kind of long. Um, we ended up getting so I have had a few people message me about the new bed. And they're like, Congratulations on getting a king. Um, it's really funny. But we um got a king bed. It came in on Monday. We had to build it. It was like a puzzle, truly. It's solid wood and like it has like the I don't know, like those joints where it's like you they piece together. Yeah, they piece together, and like it's really nice. It's really nice. Putting it together was genuine I genuinely thought about calling Becca to like and like offering her some like MMs or something and being like, come do this puzzle. Just like, you know, MMs out on a fish hook to see if I can lure a Levit in to come do this puzzle for me. It was so hard. Um, we got it up, which was nice, and then Lauren almost killed me with the mattress by accident. Um he started unwrapping it.

SPEAKER_01 1:46

Was it one of those like yeah?

SPEAKER_02 1:47

It was like it was folded in half and then rolled up.

SPEAKER_01 1:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:50

Horrifying. And so at some point he's like starting to undo it, and I'm like, Lauren, it is like it's moving, it's opening. Like, you need to move it across the room because he's doing it right in front of me.

SPEAKER_03 2:00

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_02 2:00

Like, you need to move it right now, and so he does. He gets it on the bed and it springs open. And I'm like, that was awful.

SPEAKER_00 2:06

Oh my gosh, that's so funny.

SPEAKER_02 2:08

That was horrifying. Um, how have I been sleeping on the king bed, you might ask? Not well. I don't know if it's because I'm having these like this crazy bout of insomnia, or if it's just like new and so I'm not sleeping well, but I'm not sleeping well. It's so unfortunate because I want to give it a good try. It's not like I'm in pain or anything. I just can't sleep. So it's not even the bed. It's me.

SPEAKER_00 2:33

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 2:34

Other than that, my week's been really good.

SPEAKER_01 2:36

Well, good. I'm excited for your for you to settle into it more and your insomnia to pass so that you can enjoy the King bed.

SPEAKER_02 2:44

Yeah, me too. Oh, we're also looking for like cute bedding. So if anyone knows of a place that has really cute bedding, we've already tried Target. I was unimpressed. Let me know. Um, and I will gladly look through it. Hopefully I'll have bedding before this episode comes out. But right now we just have sheets on it and then like a quilt. But I want something cute. I want something fun.

SPEAKER_00 3:07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 3:07

I need something that complements the paint color Hidden Gem by Bear. Look it up, people.

SPEAKER_01 3:12

Okay, we will be thinking.

SPEAKER_02 3:13

Yes. Lizzie, how was your week? That's how I asked you that time, and you didn't have time to promote me to.

SPEAKER_01 3:18

My week was great. I'm trying to think if anything really happened. I kind of don't think so. It's been a pretty uneventful week today. I went to Hudson's class and we had a green eggs and ham party.

SPEAKER_02 3:30

How was that?

SPEAKER_01 3:31

It was so fun. The food was deeply disturbing. You know, like cubed ham pieces that I then put in a bowl with green food colouring. You know, a ziploc bag of scrambled eggs that I'm mixing up with green food coloring. Like, it's just disturbing.

SPEAKER_02 3:48

The Ziploc bag of scrambled eggs is so disturbing as opposed to like having a griddle there to like cook it fresh.

SPEAKER_01 3:55

You know? Yeah, it was deeply disturbing, so.

SPEAKER_02 3:58

Ugh. Ew.

SPEAKER_01 4:00

But it was fun. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 4:03

Good.

SPEAKER_01 4:04

Well, should we get into ward gossip?

SPEAKER_02 4:07

Yes, we shall.

SPEAKER_01 4:08

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 4:09

Mine's kind of an old one, but I was talking to Lizzie about this story today, and I was like, I have to share this on the podcast. So there was this guy that we were teaching um on my mission, and Lizzie's laughing because this is the third time I'm telling the story because I can't figure out how to tell it short. Um, basically, I had taught him for a little bit, transferred, and then transferred back to this area. And didn't realize this, but in the time that I had transferred and then transferred back, he had like fallen in love with me. And I cannot tell you why. I was nice to him, like I was nice to all the other members. I wasn't like, I really don't even know what. And so one day, on we're at this big meeting with all of the missionaries, all the members in the area, and I get a text from him proclaiming his love and like saying how he knows we're gonna get married, and he, you know, it's been confirmed to him that we're getting married. I'm freaking out. I am I am 20 years old, and this man is in his 30s.

SPEAKER_01 5:16

Yeah, it's scary.

SPEAKER_02 5:17

It was horrifying, and so I showed it to the elders, they laughed, they thought it was funny, but then they're like, Okay, well, just uh avoid him and send him our way if he took contacts you. I'm like, okay, fine. So that was horrifying. And then another time, shortly after he had proclaimed his love for him, or for me, sorry, for me, um, my companion and I were like, we were trying to take the train to church, and I got on and then the doors closed. Like, it was so quick. She was slightly, she was just a little bit behind me, like I didn't realize how far behind she was. I got on, I turn around, the doors close, and I'm like, huh. So I'm on the train alone and I look over, and there is the brother. And I was like, this is this is such a bad moment. I don't want to be here. So it's just awkward. We don't say anything. I get off at the next stop, wait for my companion, and then later he texts and he's just like, I just didn't want to like I didn't want to break the rules and talk to you, but you know, and I'm like, no.

SPEAKER_01 6:12

He's like, I know you wanted to.

SPEAKER_02 6:13

No, and then I and then I got I left my mission. Um, and then I died on my mission. So thank heavens my mission was over, and I've never talked to him again.

SPEAKER_01 6:22

You calling him the brother just cracked me up for some reason.

SPEAKER_02 6:25

There was the brother. Horrifying.

SPEAKER_01 6:29

That's so spooky.

SPEAKER_02 6:30

That was the longest word gossip you guys have ever heard.

SPEAKER_01 6:32

No, it was perfect.

SPEAKER_02 6:34

But oh, it was truly I think about it sometimes because I'm like, I wish I would have screenshotted those texts.

SPEAKER_01 6:40

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 6:41

I wish I would have had the thought to screenshot the texts and email them to myself. Because what was that?

SPEAKER_01 6:48

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 6:49

Oh, it was horrifying.

SPEAKER_01 6:50

That was so funny and also scary.

SPEAKER_02 6:52

So scary. Oh my gosh, we didn't see him much after um I didn't flirt back with him or say that we're getting married.

SPEAKER_01 7:00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 7:01

So, anyways, Lizzie, what is your word gossip?

SPEAKER_01 7:04

My word gossip is a listener write-in. Oh. And it says one time our bishop at our was at our house yelling at my dad, asking why he didn't quote know the gospel was true. He could only say he quote, hoped it was. I was a teen and ran away crying. He would also ask me at 12 in my temple interview how to get my dad back to church. Later, he anonymously paid my first year tuition at BYU, probably out of guilt.

SPEAKER_02 7:31

That's crazy.

SPEAKER_01 7:32

Yeah, I mean, sad story that like her bishop made her feel so uncomfortable, but slay. That's no, for real.

SPEAKER_02 7:41

That's an absolute slay that he paid for you. But also, I cannot imagine how horribly uncomfortable that would be. Also, why is the bishop yelling at your dad? Because he doesn't know that it's true. He hopes that it's true. That feels weird. That doesn't feel like a bishop yelling at you moment.

SPEAKER_01 7:56

For sure. Yeah, that's sad, but I mean, hello, free college.

SPEAKER_02 8:00

So I guess it worked out. Could have been better, could have been less traumatic. Yeah. Um, but you win some, you lose some. Alright, guys, today we have a fun episode. Um, and you're gonna think, girls, it's not fast Sunday. This isn't coming out near the beginning of the month. No, it's coming out middle of the month. And that's because we want it to. Haha. Now you can go back and listen to this on the first Sunday. You're welcome. We want to talk about just some of those crazy funny things you hear over the pulpit.

SPEAKER_01 8:36

Yes. You know, there's nothing better than hearing like people call it open mic, you know, testimony meeting bangers.

SPEAKER_02 8:46

What was the other one? Starve and tell.

SPEAKER_01 8:49

Starve and tell. Yeah. Um, the fast and testimony meeting bangers. There are some crazy ones. And we just we thought it'd be so funny if we shared them. So we asked you guys for some stories. We did randomly get three of basically the same story.

SPEAKER_02 9:06

Yeah, which is wild, truly. I need to know if you guys all know each other.

SPEAKER_01 9:10

So we got one listener write in that said, guy in our ward sang the entirety of a poor wayfaring man of grief for his testimony.

SPEAKER_02 9:19

And then we got one from, because I went and I asked Reddit. We got one from Reddit that says, There was a senior citizen in my home ward with a decent voice, not tabernacle choir quality, but okay. And on a slow open mic Sunday, he spontaneously requested the organist accompany him in a solo performance from the pulpit. When he or he'd then cover all seven verses of A Poor Wayfaring Man of Grief or Count Your Blessings. Definitely weird, but burned up some time.

SPEAKER_01 9:46

Honestly, Slay. I love that. Um, I need to stop saying sleigh. Um, and then I was also trying to think of like stories that I could share just from my own life. And I remembered one time in this talk, this guy, which you might have been there for this, um, spoke all of the lyrics to Live Like You Were Dying by Tim McGraw. Even at the end. Yeah. Yeah. Live Like You Were Dying. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 10:18

I don't remember this. That's crazy.

SPEAKER_01 10:22

Yeah, so apparently that's just a common theme. People just like singing their hearts out of the city.

SPEAKER_02 10:26

That has got to be a bet. The the Live Like You Were Dying one had got to be a bet.

SPEAKER_01 10:30

I could I only hope. Because you know, like, okay, I guess there's a good lesson to be found in those lyrics, but then it's like, oh, he's doing the chorus again.

SPEAKER_02 10:40

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 10:41

Okay, we're doing the bridge. Okay, we're doing the yeah, yeah, yes. Like But a poor fairying man of grief, that one's classic, too. Just all the freaking verses. That's so funny.

SPEAKER_02 10:53

That's crazy. Truly.

SPEAKER_01 10:55

Next, we have to unfortunately call out our little brother Aaron. The king of testimony meaning.

SPEAKER_02 11:03

100%. You knew without a doubt, if it's fast and testimony meaning, Aaron Smith was getting up there.

SPEAKER_01 11:10

Yeah. And who knows what he was gonna say.

SPEAKER_02 11:12

Literally, none of us.

SPEAKER_01 11:14

Always something crazy.

SPEAKER_02 11:16

Uh sometimes it was sweet. Unlike an actual testimony.

SPEAKER_01 11:20

Most of the time it was sweet, but also most of the time there were some embarrassing things said.

SPEAKER_02 11:26

Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_01 11:27

Never embarrassing for him.

SPEAKER_02 11:28

No, just for every single one of us in the pew.

SPEAKER_01 11:31

My favorite Aaron story is um he said that he was thankful for the daily prophet.

SPEAKER_02 11:39

The daily prophet.

SPEAKER_01 11:43

Like he obviously meant to say like a modern day prophet. But he said the daily prophet. He said the daily prophet, and it still cracks me up. The daily prophet.

SPEAKER_02 11:57

Oh my gosh. There's a lot of people grateful for the daily prophet. So true. Yeah. That's so funny.

SPEAKER_01 12:04

I don't know. That cracked me up.

SPEAKER_02 12:05

Okay. This one is truly crazy. This one is less of an over the pulpit. I mean, I guess technically it was at the pulpit, but it was at a zone conference. And it says, My mission president was casting this evil spirits out of two missionaries who had stood up and called the mission president's wife a whore at zone conference.

SPEAKER_00 12:22

Oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_02 12:23

It was staged, but we didn't know that at the time. Could you imagine?

SPEAKER_01 12:28

Why would they have staged that?

SPEAKER_02 12:30

Why would they have staged that?

SPEAKER_01 12:32

What could the lesson possibly have been?

SPEAKER_02 12:35

And literally everyone was like, wait, what? And the guy responds and he goes, Yeah, no, it was the 80s.

SPEAKER_01 12:43

I think that blue episode, it was the 80s.

SPEAKER_02 12:46

That's crazy. I cannot imagine.

SPEAKER_01 12:49

I don't even know what to say to that. What do you even say? What were we trying to accomplish by pretending to call the mission presidents wife a whore? I don't know. And therefore they must be possessed. And that's like I'm confused.

SPEAKER_02 13:04

That's I I cannot even imagine my mission presidents because I had two doing something like that.

SPEAKER_03 13:09

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 13:10

They did some crazy things. They did some weird stuff. And not weird, like, oh, that's so weird. They did weird things like, aha, you weird quirky man.

SPEAKER_01 13:20

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 13:20

But like what? Not that kind of weird.

SPEAKER_01 13:25

Yeah, that was very interesting.

SPEAKER_02 13:27

It's concerning, actually.

SPEAKER_01 13:30

Um my next one is also once again from my own life. And that is that I went to visit my sister-in-law in Utah. And we went to church with her, and somebody sharing their testimony was talking about like hell the place. And they were like maybe reading a scripture, I don't remember, or maybe they were just like talking about hell. Like they were not cussing. And they said H-E-Double hockey sticks. And I was like, Oh, we are in Utah now.

unknown 14:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 14:03

That's really funny, actually.

SPEAKER_01 14:04

It was like really shocking.

SPEAKER_02 14:06

They said H.E. Double hockey sticks.

SPEAKER_01 14:07

And they were not, they did not like joke, they were not smiling.

SPEAKER_02 14:09

No, they were serious.

SPEAKER_01 14:10

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 14:12

Oh, that's so embarrassing. Ugh. As a former Utah dweller, I'm embarrassed.

SPEAKER_01 14:19

I was like, oh wow.

SPEAKER_02 14:21

I would like to say when I talked to young women's, I would just say hell.

SPEAKER_01 14:24

Of course.

SPEAKER_02 14:25

And when I would read the scriptures and they said damn, I would just say damn.

SPEAKER_01 14:28

Wait, I need you guys to weigh in on this.

SPEAKER_02 14:31

I'm ready.

SPEAKER_01 14:32

Do you consider hella a cuss word? Like when you were active, would you have said hella?

SPEAKER_02 14:39

I did say hella.

SPEAKER_01 14:40

I say hella. I don't think it's a cuss word.

SPEAKER_02 14:42

I think it is a cuss word. Really? Well. This is hard because I don't really think cuss words actually have any meanings.

SPEAKER_01 14:49

I know, but like put yourself in your old mindset.

SPEAKER_02 14:53

Hella is a socially acceptable cuss word.

SPEAKER_01 14:58

Interesting. I just don't see it as a cuss word, but all of my member friends say Heka, which really just makes me want to die.

SPEAKER_02 15:05

I've said Heka too.

SPEAKER_01 15:06

That's bad. Hecca really kills me. Hecca really, really hurts me.

SPEAKER_02 15:13

Hecca really hurts me. What do you guys think? Is Hella a swear word? Yeah. Do you guys say Hecka or Hella? That's so funny. Oh my gosh. Um, and this one is another write-in. And it says, While learning Italian on my mission, I got up and bore my testimony that Jesus Christ was deep fried for our sins.

SPEAKER_00 15:37

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_02 15:38

I've done that before.

SPEAKER_00 15:39

I was gonna say, didn't you have one?

SPEAKER_02 15:41

I said in a lesson that we couldn't. I was trying to explain the Sabbath day and how we keep it holy, and I was trying to explain to him how we don't work on Sundays. But I did say we don't get married on Sundays. The words were so close together, and I was fresh on the mission. And luckily he laughed, my companion laughed, and she explained, That's right, we probably don't get married on Sundays, but we also don't work.

SPEAKER_01 16:07

Oh my gosh, that's funny.

SPEAKER_02 16:09

I was so confused.

SPEAKER_01 16:11

Jesus Christ deep fried for our sins, like delicious. That is a good one. I need to like, I don't want to brush past that too quickly. That's hilarious.

SPEAKER_02 16:20

Um, we should really serve donuts at the sacrament, then.

SPEAKER_01 16:22

I would love that. Oh my gosh. Rip up a little glazed crispy cream.

SPEAKER_02 16:27

Delightful.

SPEAKER_01 16:28

Oh, I would love that chiz.

SPEAKER_02 16:31

She would hella love it.

SPEAKER_01 16:32

I would hella love it. That would be hella. She would hella love that shiz. That would be hecka. Oh my gosh. Alright, I have some more from my own life. I'm ready. Randall, I never ever will drop this ever. When we were freshly married, we were giving like our introductory talk in our award.

SPEAKER_03 16:55

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 16:56

And he was talking about an investigator that he taught on his mission. And he said that she was, quote, the greatest woman I've ever known. Wait. And I'm like, you sure you want to stick with that? You sure you want to stick with that? I'm not the greatest woman you've ever known. You know, you're not gonna say, like, my grandma, the greatest, you know, that's fine. Just some random lady. Yeah. So anyway, I'll never drop that. Let me know if you guys think I'm being crazy or if that's weird.

SPEAKER_02 17:33

I really think that's hilarious, actually. The greatest woman I've ever known. You're like, not me?

SPEAKER_01 17:38

I literally was on the phone with him today, and I was telling him what the podcast was about, and I was like, any guesses what I'm gonna share? And he's like, I already know you're gonna tell that story. So he knows. I never let it go. I love that. I already know you're gonna tell that story. You know what's another, this has nothing to do with what we're talking about, but you know what another classic Randall story that I always tell in my talks?

SPEAKER_02 18:02

What?

SPEAKER_01 18:05

I always say, just to give you kind of an idea of who my husband is, um, this is one of my favorite stories about him. We went to a comedy club, uh like stand-up show. And I really am not very like, you know, I should be a lot better about the comedy that I listen to. Um but like I listen to everyone like mainstream, you know what I mean? Like I am not a stranger to a dirty joke, you know? But the show was like really pretty crass and like gross, and it was getting uncomfortable. And uh the guy had started to make fun of us because we were clearly uncomfortable, which of course just made everything worse. And he's like, Well, are you two together? And we're like, Yeah, we're married. And he's like, Whoa, you're really young, you know, of course, making fun of us for that. And he's like, How did you guys meet? And we were like, in high school, and he's like, high school sweethearts? And I'm like, Yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, high school sweethearts. And Randall, of course, has to tell the truth, is like, oh no, we were just friends in high school, but we can we reconnected after our Mormon missions.

SPEAKER_02 19:30

Uh to a stand-up comedian. To a stand-up comedian. I literally he just handed him a bet.

SPEAKER_01 19:38

I have never sunk so low in a chair. And he was just loud and proud, and I was like, I am literally gonna kill you. And then he walked out. We he was like being so gross, and then of course offensive about the church eventually. Thanks to Randall. And Randall was like, Come on, we're leaving, and he made us sleep in front of everyone. So that was like literally the most embarrassing night of my life.

SPEAKER_02 20:09

You just have to know that that man went on and told that story in different venues.

SPEAKER_01 20:13

Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_02 20:14

Oh yeah. Oh my god. I'm gonna find the footage.

SPEAKER_01 20:19

So, anyway, I always make fun of Randall for that, but he's a good person, whatever.

SPEAKER_02 20:25

Also over the pulpit.

SPEAKER_01 20:27

Yeah, literally.

SPEAKER_02 20:28

That is crazy. Oh my gosh. Okay, I have another one. Another write-in, and it says, My favorite was a young primary boy. He said, I'd like to bear my testimony, and I hope they stay in the mountains. It took everyone a second to realize what he was saying. He didn't miss a beat and didn't realize what he said was funny. In that same testimony, he said he was glad his grandparents were visiting and then asked them to stand up. They did it, smiling awkwardly, but amused by all of it. Oh my gosh, that's so cute. That's so funny. Look to bear my testimony, and I hope they stay in the mountains.

SPEAKER_01 21:05

I love when like confident little kids get up during sacrament.

SPEAKER_02 21:09

Uh oh my gosh, I have another one with a little kid. Actually, I have a few with the little kids in here. Let's hear them. Kids are just too good. As a teenager, my ward had an autistic boy who had a very limited vocabulary. However, during testimony meeting, if there was a person at the pulpit who started rambling or speaking for more than five minutes, this amazing boy would loudly and clearly yell, next. It helped that his family sat in the front row so the speaker could not ignore his outburst. They would quickly wrap things up and sit down. If they did not, his next timer would continue going off at 30 second intervals. Every ward needs a kid like him to raid in the windbag ramblers.

SPEAKER_01 21:47

Seriously. Oh my gosh, it's genius.

SPEAKER_02 21:51

Did you imagine just next? This is so funny.

SPEAKER_01 21:55

I love it.

SPEAKER_02 21:56

I am actually dead. Okay. This one is. Hilarious. It's another kid. And it says, which kids, I feel like kids just give one, it's the best little cutest thing to hear. Like when they get up in their butt, you're just like, oh, you're so adorable. But then it's even better when they're hilarious. And you're like, thank you. I really I was I was fading during this, but this really brought me back. Yes. Where it says, um, on my mission, a kid about six or seven years old got up to bear his testimony with the help of his grandpa, who was whispering what to say in his ear. Grandpa whispers in his ear, I'd like to bear my testimony. I know the church is true. I love my family. And T-Rexes love meat. It's their favorite food. In the name of Jesus Christ, amen. I'm still not sure if grandpa told him to say the T-Rex part, but it remains my favorite testimony of all time.

SPEAKER_01 22:49

Oh my gosh, that is so cute. That's like Hudson saying his prayer tonight. He's all, please bless that dad will buy mom a new purse.

SPEAKER_02 22:57

Please bless that we can get a new house.

SPEAKER_03 23:00

I'm like, okay, sweat.

SPEAKER_01 23:04

That was absolutely crazy. Do you remember our home ward when we were growing up had like a serious, I don't want to say problem because it's great, but like every fast and testimony meeting, like 50 kids would go up in a row.

SPEAKER_02 23:17

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 23:18

That was the best.

SPEAKER_02 23:19

Yeah, it was truly great. I wish we would have seen something like this, though, because this would have been hilarious. It says, A kid in my ward got up to bear his testimony. He was doing fairly well, reciting all the same stuff kids always do. But after about 30 seconds, he paused and said, Ah, forget it. And direct or directly into the mic and walked away. He made the whole chapel laugh.

SPEAKER_00 23:37

Oh my gosh, that's so cute.

SPEAKER_01 23:40

Oh, I love it. Um, the next one is a story I'm stealing from my our other sister Becca. And that was she was, which I kind of feel like I've already told this on here, so sorry if I have. But she was like visiting our cousin's ward, and this lady was giving a talk, and she's like, we just need to get everyone out of here who's not born in America, you know, basically just like being racist. Yeah. And then she starts singing, I'm proud to be in America, and she just breaks into song.

SPEAKER_02 24:15

Oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_01 24:16

I'm just like, wow. Once again, Utah. Oh my gosh. Some really shocking things go down there.

SPEAKER_02 24:23

Uh truly. I'm I was trying to think of all the crazy things I've heard people say over the pulpit, but unfortunately, most of them were just like old people, just like talking about whatever. And I'm like, it's not really crazy, it's just kind of rambling. Like, I don't care that your son dated and was engaged to three people and then married the fourth. Like, I'm not paying attention. Um, this one, and I'm gonna give you a warning for anyone listening with children to pause. This has to do with Christmas. Pause. Okay, ample enough warning, I hope, for those of you with small children and Christmas. It says in an effort to reinforce that Christ was the reason for the season, our bishop directly addressed the primary children over the pulpit and told them that Santa Claus isn't ready.

SPEAKER_01 25:16

Oh my god. I would be pissed.

SPEAKER_02 25:21

I literally would I'm not even a parent, and I would be livid. That's crazy. You know what's even crazier? That's not the only one in here that says that someone had exposed that that that wasn't a thing in an effort for something of an oh my gosh, that's crazy. Oh, I'd be so mad.

SPEAKER_01 25:46

That's insane. I don't know if this really is like counting towards what we're talking about, but it just literally cracks me up every time. Randall's little brother was assigned to give a talk on Mother's Day, and they didn't give him a topic. I think presumably because he should have talked about Mother's Day. Yeah. And you know what he decided to talk about? What? Tithing. And it just cracks me.

SPEAKER_02 26:13

That's so funny. Just talks about tithings. I will say, how old was he? He was a teenager. Still, like we still gotta give him a topic. Oh my gosh, that's really funny. I'm actually dead. That's so good. Um, okay, this one. This one is funny. It says our state president gave a talk where he talked about literal extraterrestrial beings visiting Joseph Smith. He was trying to make a point that Joseph was visited by beings not of this earth, not that they were space aliens. There was an investigator family visiting that Sunday sitting in front of me. They gave each other a look when he said that, and I heard that they never came back after that day.

SPEAKER_01 26:55

Oh my gosh. It's like, sure. Technically, if you want to put it that way. And they always say the craziest stuff when there's people visiting. Always. Of course.

SPEAKER_02 27:09

Always. Oh my gosh. No, crazy, truly.

SPEAKER_01 27:14

That's so funny.

SPEAKER_02 27:16

I'm having, I'm not gonna be able to get the full memory. I'm literally I'm remembering a moment of having someone with us at church on my mission and having to apologize after, but I can't remember what was said. Oh my gosh. Must have been horrifying, though, if I can't remember.

SPEAKER_01 27:36

You had to block it out.

SPEAKER_02 27:38

I really did.

SPEAKER_01 27:39

Um, Randall and I, when we first got married, we had a guy give a talk in our ward, and he was talking about how if only he had been brought up by righteous parents, he would be the prophet by now. And he was being dead serious. I was like, okay. I'm so dead. Love your confidence.

SPEAKER_02 28:04

Um, this one says.

SPEAKER_01 28:06

And that man was Dallin H.

SPEAKER_02 28:08

Oh my goodness. Um that man was Dylan H. Oaks. It's a shame he's not the prophet. Okay, I have this one that says another write-in from Reddit. It says a few years ago, my wife and I were sitting next to a couple in fast and testimony meeting. My wife and I both have ADHD, though we were undiagnosed at the time, which means my wife was looking at her phone and I was writing thoughts in a notebook because focusing exclusively on a speaker was naturally difficult. Um, it was this apparently this was apparently intolerable to the husband. He proceeded to go bear his testimony, which began with him yelling into the microphone about people needing to pay attention. We kept doing what we were doing, but I'm pretty sure he woke a few other people up.

SPEAKER_01 28:51

Oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_02 28:53

I cannot imagine I'm like getting up and being like, you need to pay attention because the person on the next one is on their phone. And I don't care that much.

SPEAKER_01 29:01

It's more embarrassing for you.

SPEAKER_02 29:02

It's way more why are you why are you paying attention to them?

SPEAKER_01 29:06

Why are you watching them being on their phone? Um, this is my last one, but Randall told me that a woman on his mission bore her testimony and said that the spirit of Brigham Young came over her and told her to give her husband a blessing. And I'm like, okay, go off, honestly. Go off, honestly.

SPEAKER_02 29:26

Oh, hold on, I have a Brigham Young one. Uh, let's see. Okay. This one says, I'm old enough to have heard a testimony from a woman who was hit up by Brigham Young. She was an old woman, over a hundred, but she had made her way to church every week. She had a strong accent and no teeth, so it was difficult to understand her. Every open mic Sunday, she grabbed the mic and mumbled on and on about something. I couldn't catch much, but I did hear Brigham Young a couple of times. One day during Sunday dinner, I asked my parents what she was talking about, and they said that she was an immigrant from Germany who came to Utah. She was proposed to by Brigham but turned him down, and then she moved out of the area and into our little valley where she remained for the rest of her days. What a flexible. What a flex. First off, having the story that she was proposed to by Brigham Young is such a Mormon flex.

SPEAKER_03 30:25

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 30:26

And then being able to say that she said no to Brigham Young is just such a female flex. Like she said, she's like, no. Sorry. And good for her.

SPEAKER_01 30:43

That is crazy.

SPEAKER_02 30:45

That's insane. Oh my gosh. Uh, I can never be a hundred years old. I don't have fun enough stories to be a hundred.

SPEAKER_01 30:57

Like, once upon a time, my sister and I started a podcast. It became millionaires.

SPEAKER_02 31:01

And people wrote in all the time. They never had to go to Reddit.

SPEAKER_01 31:06

Oh my gosh. Um, I believe this queen, of course. But I also feel like Utah and Arizona are just like hotbeds for making up stories about church history.

SPEAKER_02 31:21

Oh no, 100%. Absolutely. They are. They are.

SPEAKER_01 31:28

Well, you have to read the murder one.

unknown 31:30

Oh.

SPEAKER_02 31:31

The murder one that Lizzie wants me to read says, I had an investigator get up and bear their testimony and then proceed to admit to committing a murder.

SPEAKER_01 31:41

It's just the most shocking. Over the bulb. Like short and sweet, I guess.

SPEAKER_02 31:46

It's like, you know, you're not actually protected here, right? Like sanctuary. I can't tell anyone.

SPEAKER_01 31:51

I committed murder.

SPEAKER_02 31:55

It's kind of like that moment in Grey's Anatomy when they're like, you can't tell anyone because you're sworn to, you know, because Hippa, da da da da da da. And she like commit, like admits to a murder. And they're like, for health. And I'm I'm not your doctor. Like, I'm I'm their doctor. And then the woman gets arrested. And I'm like, I need to know where this man is, though. I need to know where this person is who got them.

SPEAKER_01 32:18

Is there a resolution to this story?

SPEAKER_02 32:19

No. It was just a bunch of face palm emojis afterwards. But I want to know how you reacted. I want to know how could you just sit there and go, yep. Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_01 32:30

Yeah, that's when you just slowly back out the door, block them.

SPEAKER_02 32:36

That is gonna be one long interview with the mission president later.

SPEAKER_01 32:41

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 32:42

Dear heavens.

SPEAKER_01 32:45

Oh, too good. Well, thank you, Dad, and the people of Reddit for being our only supporters. But hope you guys enjoyed those fun stories.

SPEAKER_02 32:57

Yeah. Hopefully they're actually fun.

SPEAKER_01 32:59

Um, Hannah, what was the most Mormon thing you did this week? Oh, and please, you guys, continue if you hear a funny thing said over the pulpit to immediately let us know.

SPEAKER_02 33:09

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_01 33:10

Okay, Hannah, what was the most Mormon thing you did this week?

SPEAKER_02 33:13

The most Mormon thing I did this week was today when Hudson was praying over the food and uh asked that you get a new purse. And Randall went, What the heck? During the prayer. And then afterwards I went, Randall, you can't say what the heck during a prayer. As I chastised him for interrupting the prayer.

SPEAKER_01 33:33

As you should.

SPEAKER_02 33:34

I'm not even gonna interrupt the prayer. I silently covered my mouth. Thank you.

SPEAKER_01 33:38

I know, and your eyes were closed the whole time. Thank you. I kept looking at you to laugh, and your eyes were closed.

SPEAKER_02 33:42

I what can I say? I follow the rules sometimes.

SPEAKER_01 33:46

Um, my Morse Mormon thing. What? My most Mormon thing.

SPEAKER_02 33:50

My Morse Mormon thing.

SPEAKER_01 33:51

I've done that like ten times lately. Anyway, my most Mormon thing also has to do with Hudson. Did I say it right? Hopefully. Anyway. Yeah. Um, so he had obviously it was Dr. Seuss's birthday this week, so he had a green eggs and ham party as I already discussed.

SPEAKER_02 34:07

The green party with the disgusting eggs and ham.

SPEAKER_01 34:09

Yes. Um and you may recall the words to the book Green Eggs and Ham, like, would you could you in a house? Would you could you with a mouse? Like, you know, in what circumstance would you consume the disturbing green eggs and ham? And they like colored a picture and had to write like where they would. And Hudson wrote that he would eat green eggs and ham in the temple. And it cracked me up. And his teacher was telling me about it, and she was cracking up. She's not a member. And it literally cracked her up. So anyway, I will be posting that, of course.

SPEAKER_02 34:51

As you need to, because that is so funny. Oh my gosh. I would eat green eggs and ham in the temple. It would probably make them better.

SPEAKER_01 35:02

True. Well, we love you guys. Thanks for listening.

SPEAKER_02 35:05

We will talk to you guys next week.

SPEAKER_01 35:07

Bye.

SPEAKER_02 35:07

Bye.