2. Your Sacred Alter Ego is Calling...

The boldest version of you isn’t a future self to chase, but a facet you can activate today. We dive into the sacred alter ego, the unfiltered you who already exists, and show how tiny, honest actions reshape identity faster than any affirmation loop. Instead of “think, feel, act,” we flip the script to “act, feel, think,” using loving self-discipline and clear standards to teach your nervous system what’s now true.

We explore how to activate the sacred alter ego already inside you and use small, aligned actions to reshape self-concept and magnetize real opportunities. Identity shifts happen in micro-habits, “bougie baselines,” and loving self-discipline that turns your standards into behavior.

• defining sacred alter ego as your unfiltered self
• how self-concept hides in everyday habits
• detective lens on standards and tolerations
• acting first to create new beliefs
• bougie baselines that make your ceiling the floor
• activating magnetism through embodied style
• parts work, permission, and safe pacing
• visual triggers and “big yes” energy
• rejecting prescribed life scripts for desire
• evolving identity through daily practice

Use the link in the description to book a consult so we could talk about coaching together and what that would look like and entertain some of these things that have been rising to the surface, but maybe haven't been ready to come out until now.

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Transcript

Welcome And Core Idea

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How to tap into your sacred alter ego to create every result that you do not have yet. Welcome to the Magnetic Mindset podcast where spirituality, psychology, and philosophy meet to make you your most magnetic self. If you feel like you have achieved success on paper but are craving a deeper meaning and a life that feels alive, keep listening. The show is hosted by me, your coach, Holly Pendergast. Let's get into it. I want to talk to you today about something that's been on my mind. I've debated am I going to teach a masterclass about this? How do I get this out there? This idea can be misunderstood. But the concept is how to tap into your sacred alter ego to create every result that you do not have yet. Your sacred alter ego is calling. She's been whispering to you, she's been nudging you. She has been showing you, and you may have been ignoring her for years. Okay. Your sacred alter ego. I'm going to define it in my terms because this idea can get stuck on a lot of people's ideas about how the alter ego is bad or the ego is bad. And in the spiritual world, we try to be all this like perfect, like generic, anorexically creative idea of what this means. Okay. So I'm going to define it in my personal way that works for me and my clients. So this idea of a sacred alter ego is a part of you that has been dying to come through in your expression that is sort of like who you are when you're singing in the car, concert, karaoke, windows down, no one's with you. And you are just feeling your own energy. This is you when you say something a little sassy to your best friend and they immediately get it. You don't have to explain it. This is who you were when you were a child before you got insecure, before the world told you to be quieter, before anybody gave you the look of, hey, you're being a little too loud, a little too much. This has always been a part of you and always will be a part of you. And it's the part of you that most likely gets dimmed. But again, this is a part of you that isn't up to you. Your brain has been taught, hey, this is too much, this is too loud, this is unacceptable. Okay. Your brain will tell you what is unacceptable, but this is a part of your actual purest form. The energy that is within you that maybe you have quieted or shamed or put away or tucked further back, or maybe this part of you only comes out when you're slightly tipsy or in the right energy with the right people where you feel safe enough to unleash her. Okay. So here's the thing about discovering what's in your alter ego. Your brain is going to want to judge and tell you, you can't like that. Nope, that's uncomfortable. But it is already a part of who you are. And I can see it. This is one of my natural gifts is I can see what wants to come through that you have been withholding. So I see this in people's style. I see this in people's marketing or how they really want to say something. I can see it and feel it through the energy because there's always clues and there's always little cues that are coming out of your pores and out of your DNA and out of your energy that I want to encourage you to amplify. Because when you do, oh my God, do your dreams come true. This is actually identity work. It is your self-concept. Okay. Everybody has a concept of themselves, how you think about yourself. I talked in episode one a little bit about how you can speak to yourself in a new way, but how you currently think about yourself has decided all of your current results. So this is subtle. This is also big. This is also like what you accept in relationships, friendships, client relationships, what you accept into your home, how you shower, how you eat. It relates to everything. So I want you to pick one area right now in your mind that you want to focus on and think about what does that reveal about my self-concept? Okay. This could also be bedtime. It could also be what time do you wake up? It could be what you wear. Okay. Now that you have that one thing in mind, I want you to examine if that one thing was actually telling a lot about you, what would it be saying right now? Are you somebody who rushes when you take a shower and you never give yourself a luxurious moment? What does that say about your self-concept? Are you somebody, I want you to think about your underwear drawer? What does this say about your self-concept? How is this person thinking about themselves? If you think about yourself in third person for a moment, how does this person think and feel and value themselves according to this habit that they are going through the motions every day? How does this person feel about themselves? Now, this isn't just materialistic things because this isn't about who can buy the most expensive thing and that means that you value yourself the highest. That is absolutely not true because you can have the fanciest things, the most expensive birkin bag, and still think so shitty of yourself. It is not about the materialistic goods. It's not about how expensive something is. It's in the micro habits of how you are treating yourself. And only you can know. From the outside, we can make assumptions. And I want you to think about Olivia Benson for a second, Law and Order SVU. If she is a detective and she's looking at your home, your office, your juncture, whatever, pick a pick an area, your desktop on your computer, she gets to look at and analyze what kind of a person is this? Is this person very organized? Are they a little bit overly organized? Or are they a little messy? Are they a little lax? Are they neglecting some things in their life? Are they ignoring some things in their life? And now none of this is to judge you. So do not be judging yourself right now. I just want you to look from an observant place, from a detective place. What does this reflect about my self-concept? According to this habit, what do I think about myself? What is this revealing to me about me and how I think about me? That's all we are looking at. And you might change some big things, you might change some little things. It doesn't really matter. And in fact, I recommend doing this every single day. Just a little bit, just a little bit of an increase and a little bit of an awareness goes a long way. If you change 1% every day, you're gonna be a 365% different in one year, which is not really the goal, but just I want you to acknowledge how far 1% every day can be. Okay. This could be making the new what I call bougie baseline of removing all the trash from your car at all times and making it a bougie baseline that you never have trash in your car or in your purse or in your wallet. Okay. This is going to reveal to you how much you are putting up with, how much junk is in your way, how much inefficiency you allow in your life. Okay. And I understand there are things like ADHD that make this a little bit difficult. So I want to acknowledge that, but I also want you to look at how are you treating yourself? Because your alter ego might feel like it's swinging from the other side of the pendulum of what's opposite of me. That's not really what I want you to focus on today. I want you to focus on this quote that I absolutely love, which really changed everything for me. Because as a mindset coach, as somebody who has coached thousands of people for thousands of hours, I know how powerful mindset work can be and how important your beliefs are in understanding your awareness and choosing your beliefs actively. But this other quote really helps you step into a new version of yourself or the version of yourself that you actually prefer. And the quote is it's easier to act your way into a new way of being than to think your way into a new way of acting. So how I was trained in the mindset world when I got my coaching certification was think, feel, act is the cycle based on cognitive behavioral therapy where you have a thought, it generates a feeling in your body, and from that feeling, you take action. It motivates action or inaction, whatever that may be. And as true as that is, this is also true, is that you can step into a new way of acting, a new behavior, and use that to reflect your new belief back to you. For example, if you are somebody who created the new bougie baseline of all of my underwear are so comfortable and cute and I'm proud of them, that is going to reflect back to you. Hey, I'm important and it's worth having a little pleasure in the day because this is how I want to think about myself. This is how I treat me. So you can take a new action and sort of streamline this way of creating new beliefs about yourself and stepping into a new self-concept by taking the new action and practicing the new action. You can try this with your clothes and make it a bougie baseline that whenever you leave the house, you do not wear sweats. Maybe that's for you. Maybe it's not for you. Do what you need to do. Athleisure, I love it. I also teach yoga. I also take Pilates. I am leaving the house in my yoga pants, but I'm not going to meetings in casual wear. I'm going to work out and to come back home. Okay. This is again not to create rules to cage you. This exercise is to grow you, to help you identify as the next version of yourself that has all those juicy results that you've been wanting for yourself. This isn't to prove anything to anyone. This isn't to fake it till you make it. This is becoming that person by acting as if you already have the result. And I don't mean acting as in performing, I mean taking that action, behaving the way that you know is in your highest interest and that is actually the truer version of you. Or am I bullshitting myself? And do I need to start acting with self-discipline and loving self-discipline, not punishment self-discipline, but in a way that's really treating yourself at your highest capability. In my first podcast, we talked about calling yourself baby. Love isn't always the nicest thing. Sometimes loving self-discipline is getting your ass out of bed or getting your ass to bed. This idea of self-discipline is gonna be the thing that carries you into the person who can hold and have capacity to keep all those results that you've been wanting for yourself. The secret and surprisingly fun way to become that person is to activate your alter ego. What do I mean by that exactly? Your alter ego is activated by you choosing and embodying new bolder energy than you've been willing to access before. This is what makes you magnetic. This is what helps you tap into your own juicy energy that attracts all those opportunities and has people flocking to you that are here to be the channel for those opportunities, for that money, that relationship, whatever you are working on. If new action is what changes you and brings you wisdom, that's what we're going to be practicing. Okay. Experience is earned, knowledge is what you consume. So you can think about all of these new ways of being. You can think and research and consume and create all these Pinterest boards that you want to inspire or vision board your way into this. But unless you are acting upon it from your sacred alter ego, the one who already has the results, the version of you that has it, this energy that's already within you. We are giving it a massive permission slip to exist and to act from it. That is what is destined for you. That is who you are going to become. Beyonce says she's got Sasha Fierce, that's her alter ego on stage. And is she Sasha Fierce when she's mothering her children? No. You are a multidimensional human being. And a lot of times our alter ego is something that we hide or leave only for certain audiences. Beyonce is giving a show, she's doing choreography, she's singing, she's feeling the moment, she is channeling a certain energy that is her alter ego, and that is a part of her, but that's just only one part of her. This is a healthy thing is to look at this parts work and let it have some airtime, let it run some decisions in your life, let it pick out your outfit, let it pick out how you speak in a fun, flirty way. Your alter ego holds so much erotic energy. It's creation energy. It is creative energy. All of this energy is festering within you if you are not acknowledging it and you aren't acting from it. It is sort of like a volcano that is waiting to erupt, but it's actually becoming more and more stagnant the more you repress it and oppress it and shove it down and make it quiet. It will erupt. It just won't be in the way that you want it to. It will come out in self-sabotaging behaviors that ruin your life. And I hate that for you. So, what we are going to do is give it the microphone, is give it a chance to breathe, to live, to be out there. So many people call it your freak flags. I like to call it your frequency. What is this frequency that is dying to come out that maybe you have hidden in the shadows for way too long? I just worked with this client and she was really nervous about a public speaking gig she had. And when we really did this work to understand what is your alter ego? What is your sacred alter ego? This part of you, she calls it her villain era. Like, what is it? And yours might not be bad and villain or Sasha Fierce. Yours might be like so airy, fairy, and beautiful and light. I don't really care what it is. I just care that you acknowledge it deeply and look it in the face and love it and allow it to come through you. She's not some fantasy future version of yourself. She is already here. She knows what you want, what you don't want. She's the truest expression of you. She's like your spiritual GPS. It's always guiding you in the right direction. She has so much permission to take action. And she's the version of you that when you start expressing, people will start to notice and they'll start to say things like, oh my God, that is so you. Or oh my God, I saw this and I thought of you. And it's directly a reflection of your sacred alter ego. It could be your style, it could be the way you talk, it could be your makeup, whatever it is. It is who you are at your core when you're not filtering and diluting yourself because of how society has told you to behave. Now, I'm not saying that you need to become someone totally different. This is actually not very different than who you are now. It's just you unfiltered. It's you with your mouth open and your jaw unclenched, and it's you in the driver's seat of your decisions. Instead of thinking about what you should say or who you should be or what's appropriate, you start doing what's actually true for you because you've given yourself that permission and that validation and that awareness to take action from that place, from a place of deep self-trust. You were born with this. This is not how to make yourself a bolder person. This is how do we resurrect what was already here and just got destiny. This is you practicing ritualistically, honoring yourself and looking at what is true for me, how do I act from that place? Because we know acting is the practice that is going to grow your self-belief. Everybody has a different level of self-confidence and everybody has a different self-concept. But examining what that is is gonna give you that awareness to ask yourself, hey, is this actually true? Hey, is this limiting me? Is this actually something that I believe, or was this taught to me based on my experiences implicitly or explicitly? Was I told I'm too loud, annoying, uh immature, I am too sparkly, I am too pink, I am too tall, I am too short, I'm whatever it is. When you start to recognize your sacred alter ego, it is the biggest permission slip that you can give yourself to be free from all of the taming that has been put upon you. It is rearranging your self-concept to reflect your actual power, to reflect what is actually true for you. This is your truest state of being. When you are vibrating at this frequency of honesty and truth, that number one is going to be so liberating for you and your inner child and your future self. It's also gonna be the thing that people feel drawn to, inexplicably drawn to you. It almost feels like you put a spell on them, but really you were just being your most honest self. This has happened to me personally when I have shown up at events where I didn't know anybody. I was a little nervous. I was like, well, I don't know anybody, but oh well, let's go have some fun. Let's go meet some people. And I remember wearing this, these outfits where I just felt so good in my body. I know how to dress myself, what shapes I like, what I was feeling that day, what was true for me on that given day, what color I wanted to feel, what I wanted to have on my body. And I attracted like four clients. And I swear people were like flocking to me, asking me all kinds of questions, taking pictures of my eyeliner, like, how did you do it? And I was just like, hi, yes, nice to meet you. And it felt like this miraculous thing, but really it was my energy. I had called all that in with who I was being, not necessarily what I was wearing. Because if I wasn't actually feeling that energy, if that wasn't actually true for me, I would have felt deeply uncomfortable. I would have been fidgeting with my outfit, my style, I would have been questioning myself. I would have had poor body language and my energy, my vibes, my aura would have been bad and it would have repulsed the people who were always meant to work with me. Okay. This is how you fight your own intimidation factor with other people. When you love yourself, you know yourself deeply, you have this sense of, hey, I love me. So if you don't like me, that's okay. That makes you so magnetic, so attractive, so safe of a person to come to. I know on that day, people came to me because they sensed my own inner safety with myself and they saw me as a place to ask questions. They saw me as a place to start a conversation or get to know. And then ultimately that led to amazing other opportunities and new friendships, literal money. Visuals are a really great way of triggering this energy in your body. So I don't mean triggering in a way that's like hijacking your nervous system. I mean hijacking your excitement and bringing you more alive to possibilities and opportunities and feelings that you have considered off limits. So with my clients, whether we are working in only coaching, virtual coaching, or we are doing in-person work, we create the visuals through Pinterest and we create what I call big yes energy. And I have certain questions that help pull this out of you that are consulting inner child, teen, young adult. Um, what is the shadow side of you? What is the side of you that is most acceptable? And we really examine all of it and it brings up all of this junk, mental, emotional baggage that we have that maybe has been unexamined for decades. It's like a chest in an attic that's collecting dust and has been locked shut. We are dusting it off, unlocking it and unleashing and unlocking this treasure trove of abundance and jewels and gems and so many beautiful things. It hurts just thinking about the possibility for you. We are going to let that energy open up and blossom and start to take up space in your life. In order to allow yourself to enjoy or first even acknowledge your sacred alter ego, it's a deeply personal experience in facing yourself. When you start to acknowledge or you start bringing up these images that you get to kind of admit to yourself that you are excited by, that is when you have awoken the sleeping giant. What's the quote? I can't, I don't even know. You have awakened this energy within you that has been stagnant and quiet for some time. You are, in a sense, an inactive volcano, and we are going to give it the floor to erupt. This can look like having contradictory interests, leather and lace. There's a reason why that is so dynamic. It can be different color patterns that you have told yourself are too loud or too bold or too flamboyant. It could be texture, it could be furry stuff, which you know that I absolutely love. It could be accessories, it could be this is the most exciting thing that I see with my clients, is when they start to acknowledge this part of them, when they start to act from it. Feels like magic when all these new opportunities start flying into your DMs, start flying in. People are asking you, can I have your phone number? I need to know you. I need to work with you. How do we connect? How do we network? What's your email? These are the kinds of things that happen when you allow that part of you to take over, maybe not fully at first, but to at least start to embrace your alter ego. It's a sacred practice of acknowledging yourself and what's true for yourself. This is what makes you stand out because this is something that your past, your experiences, and your natural, most purest form would be expressing. Your sacred alter ego is magical because it has you acting in that new way. Remember when I was talking about it's easier to act your way into a new way of thinking? Your alter ego, if you are acting accordingly, it creates a new self-concept for you. Instead of trying to increase your beliefs about yourself and journaling your way into believing a new amazing thought about yourself and telling yourself over and over again with affirmations, I am worth it, I am worth it, I am worth it, I am worthy, I am worth it. Acting upon it from your sacred alter ego information of what you deserve and who the fuck you are tells yourself and the universe and your DNA, your cells, your energy, your vibration, your frequency radiates out to reflect this is who I am. These are the opportunities that I get because this is how I see myself, and this is how you shall see me. And I decide what that is. You can try to action your way and beg and convince and kill yourself, burning out to create new results. But if it's not from A place of alignment, it's not from your really true sacred alter ego. You are going to really grind yourself down because it's not from a place of genuine integrity with who you are. This is why I call it sacred alter ego. It has to be true to who you are. This already exists within you. It is already something you let out a little bit. And I want to invite you to let it rip. I want to invite you to explore this side of you, to unclench your jaw, to let yourself play. Style is an amazing way to explore your sacred altar ego. Okay. Some people, this is wearing hoops. Some people, it's wearing red lipstick and heels. It doesn't have to look like that, though. It can look any which way that is true to you. And trying on clothes is free. And you have a mirror to witness yourself. This is the most important part because if you do not witness yourself in this sacred altar ego energy, you are not going to be able to take it out into the world and hold the capacity to be that person because it won't be true for you. Most people will not admit the truth to themselves and they won't let themselves know what is true. They won't let themselves know what they want because it can be scary. It could be scary to admit that you are powerful and fierce and sexy and dynamic and contradictory and maybe completely different than what your upbringing told you to be. What I want you to do is start acknowledging it within yourself first. Okay. The reason why that is most important is because that awareness already starts doing things to yourselves, to your consciousness. And you don't have to force anything. You don't have to put yourself in a high-risk situation where you create a visibility hangover. You don't have to force yourself into overexposing yourself in a way that's going to make you feel regretful or embarrassed or humiliated or bring up hard conversations. Like you don't have to go from zero to a hundred. I actually don't recommend it. You're going to get whiplash. I recommend going from zero to one and then one to two. And then maybe you get braver and you feel comfortable going from two to eight. And all of a sudden, you are on this new trajectory because you created that self-intimacy with yourself first. You have to have self-intimacy in order to create real, genuine intimacy with anyone else. Acknowledging your sacred altar ego, acknowledging these big, bold truths that you have not let out the bag is going to be the thing that makes you more magnetic because that is your truest self. And your truest self is always the most potent in repelling people and attracting people. Repelling opportunities that are not for you and attracting opportunities that are beyond your wildest dreams. So many of us, we are prescribed dreams. We are prescribed a lifestyle and milestones in our life. And if we don't meet them, we are somehow less successful of a human being and something has gone wrong, and something must be obviously wrong with them because they aren't following the prescription. A first comes love, then comes maybe marriage, then comes the baby in the right. Then make sure you buy a house and you have 2.5 cars and 2.5 kids and make sure they all go to college and then you can only retire at the age of 65, and then you do not like all of that, remember, is fabricated in a prescription for how to be successful. And that's just in America. There's so many other ways of living that other cultures have that I'm sure are also prescriptive. And I want to just give you the idea that maybe you can throw that all out for a moment and tap into what you actually want. Your sacred altar ego is waiting for you. She already exists, she's already living in a different dimension, flout. She's thriving, she's happy, she's excited, she's oozing with vitality and aliveness. She has all the results that she wants. She has the feelings that you want to be having and generating. Of course, she's gonna have, you know, of course, you're still gonna be human. Of course, you're still gonna get stomach aches sometimes. I'm not saying that your life is gonna be perfect once you nail this. Please do not take what I said and interpret it that way. But what I am saying is there is a dormant part of you right now that is dying to come out. And won't you let her live? If this is something that you are realizing you want for yourself right now, work with me. Use the link in the description to book a consult so we could talk about coaching together and what that would look like and kind of entertain some of these things that have been rising to the surface, but maybe haven't been ready to come out until now. I have clients that come on a consult and are saying things like, I've never said that out loud before, or I didn't realize that I was living this way until I said it and it came out of my mouth. And actually, I don't want that at all. I do feel dull. I do feel tampered down. And I'm so excited to explore what is actually there for me because I had been playing this old role that I thought I was nailing when I realized I don't want to even be playing that role at all. I actually want to play the role of who I've always been meant to be. And that is what we do when we work together. You accessing that is what creates that life that you have been dreaming of that's on your Pinterest board. All of those yummy, delicious desires that maybe you haven't even discovered because you haven't admitted to yourself yet. They are here and they're waiting. There is absolutely no rush, but we all know that time on earth is never promised and it's limited. So I always recommend acting now. As soon as you get the desire and urge, witness it, be with it for a little bit, and then take action from that place because actioning is going to grow your self-concept. It's going to reflect back to you that you are worth it, that that is who you are, that this is how you behave now, that this is how you treat yourself, instead of trying to grow your belief system of I am worthy, I am worthy. This is the work that we do together and we can talk about how to get started. Okay, that is what I have for you. Remember not to judge your sacred alter ego. It might be wild. Let it be wild. You don't have to take any scary action too much too fast. You get to take this as fast as you want. This is work that's never over. I'm always discovering my own sacred alter ego. She's evolving, she changes her mind, and she just gets the floor. I have given her full permission that I trust her, that I know what she wants for me and us, and she knows the true north. So I'm gonna listen to her. And I'm not always gonna take action on her when it's not the right time, but I know how to create that discernment within myself. And yes, you can absolutely start doing this today with your style, but just do a little bit every day. And I promise you, you will start to see massive changes in your life, these quantum leaps that people talk about. This is how you do it. That is it for today. I'm so excited to talk to you again soon. Please feel free to share with me on social media what you are working on. Send me your outfit picks. What are you trying out? I would love to chat with you over there on Instagram at coach.with.holly. On TikTok, I'm coach with Holly. If you have requests for what to talk about on the podcast, definitely DM me. I want to know what you want to hear. Talk soon.