5. Grand Illusion 101

We explore the grand illusion of everyday life and how to hold being human and being spiritual without bypassing hard truths. We share stories, tools, and rituals for shifting state, listening to intuition, and co-creating meaningful results.

• journey from Catholicism to atheism to grounded spirituality
• human experience as spiritual experience without bypassing
• collective consciousness and social conditioning
• meaning making versus superstition and how to discern
• psilocybin as a ceremonial teacher and integration
• flow states, play, and creative problem solving
• intuition cues in the body and daily life
• portals and doorways as intentional state shifts
• manifestation as changing roles and frequencies
• coaching as co-creation with consciousness

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Transcript

Framing The Grand Illusion

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Welcome back to the magnetic mindset podcast, where spirituality, style, and strategy meet to help you be your most magnetic self. If you feel like you have achieved success on paper, but are craving a deeper meaning and a life that feels alive, keep listening. The show is hosted by me, your coach, Holly Pendergast. Let's get into it. Let us talk about the grand illusion today, which is life as we know it. What is my experience? What are my credentials? I'll give you a little drift so that you can decide for yourself and also use some of these resources for you to go study and create your own awareness. But this is from my perspective and what I have found to be true. And working with so many clients, I have seen this through and through. In college, I studied philosophy and psychology at the same time. And the way I learned about the brain and the philosophical element of what is consciousness, what is being human, what is this experience that we are living here on this earth? And let's introduce different perspectives, different ways of thinking, the study of religion, world religions. I studied all this at the same time. And coincidentally, not coincidentally, I had just gone through a sort of deconstruction process internally by myself with Catholicism because my dad died when I was 17. I was very Catholic growing up, and I had all of these questions that didn't really make sense when I heard certain answers from certain people. And I have been basically a seeker my whole entire life. I've been doing the personality test, the psychology. Why are we here? What is happening? And what the fuck are we doing? What is the point here? And these are questions I will always be asking myself and re-evaluating. And so this is my answer today. I may not keep these beliefs, but I wanted to kind of give you an introduction of what I believe, what I have seen, what I have experienced, and what I have seen in my work and in the coaching world of understanding other people's consciousness and really helping them grow into the person that they want to be. I say this so that you know I went from somebody who was very Catholic in my early adulthood, because that's how I was raised, to completely atheist because I learned all the things in college about how the brain works. And I thought, okay, if God is super real in Catholicism, then I of course swung to the other end of the paradigm and the spectrum of, okay, now no God exists. Nothing has any meaning because I was so open to all the ideas of philosophy that I was like, okay, then everybody's wrong. So from everybody's right, there is this one way of knowing universe God. And flipping to, okay, nothing exists because if I'm in that black or white mentality, I'm gonna think in all or nothing state. So I'm gonna say, be all in, we're gonna be all out. And then I found yoga, which allowed me to start questioning again all of these modalities, and it made me more of an agnostic kind of person. And then I realized after much time and meditation that actually being human is a very spiritual experience, that they cannot actually be separate. Because considering how we are come, how we come into the world and how we leave the world, there's nobody that watches somebody pass, somebody die, and says, hmm, well, that wasn't spiritual at all, or has them questioning and reflecting on what is life, what is death, what is consciousness, because what is a body without consciousness, and what is consciousness without a body? It brings up all of these questions for us to grapple with and for us to play with and start to understand and to choose to live in a certain way because we know that death is inevitable. So before I dive into all of this, I want to say, and number one, I'm not a doctor. Speak to the people that you want to before you decide to number one, listen to this, but partake in any of the things that I have partaked, partaken in. You do not have to do anything I'm saying here, but I am just sharing my experience so that you can have a better understanding of where I'm coming from, what are my beliefs, at least today, and that this is my awareness and these are my philosophies that helped me become the person I am today and the coach that I am today. Reminder that you are human and you are spiritual just by living and stepping and walking and vibrating and laying down on this earth. So, in the same breath that I say, being human is a very spiritual experience. Reminder that you can combine the two things and also remember that you don't have to dive into the realm of total spirituality and superstition and being all in the world of hypothetical and hypothesizing, and you can be deeply in your human experience where you are being fully human and not worrying too much about the spiritual world and not overthink it. You can just be a human. You can simply exist as a human who is thinking human thoughts. This is not to spiritually bypass anything. And I want you to also be rooted in your humanity because that is so important as well. Some people abuse these concepts and will take it to make themselves an exception to the rule that they are not human, that they are only a spiritual being. And that, as we know, is called spiritual bypassing and it's very problematic. So we don't want to do that. I want you to use this information in a way that helps yourself be the human that you want to be in the world, living about a hundred years if we're lucky. And I also want you to take this on as well as try on these spiritual concepts that will help you become the human that you want to be and also explore this other world that is not physical, it is energetic, and it's more of a deeper bodily experience rather than a heady mental experience. So the human brain is thinking thoughts and having all of these thoughts based on the animal that you are. And then there's the spiritual experience, which is much more energetic and it is much more expansive than the human consciousness. So, with that being said, use your discernment, combine this in a way that is going to serve you well and listen into both your gut as a human and your gut and the messages that you're getting from your spiritual experience as a human. So I call this the grand illusion. And if you've ever seen The Matrix or you know the idea, you can kind of visually conceptualize the different dimensions that happen at once. The movie, everything, everywhere, all at once. I think that's what it's called. I always mix up the words. They also demonstrate the different dimensions and consciousness that could be happening simultaneously, which is so fascinating to think about. And of course, I have worked with thousands of clients over the years where I'm hearing what they're talking about, the questions that they're asking themselves about their life, any circumstance possible. And what I have found, and with my fellow colleagues have found, is that we are all having the same kind of thoughts. What does this reveal to us about us is that we are a collective consciousness. At the same time, we are individuals. So holding the duality of we are individually a collective consciousness is hard for our mind to comprehend. And it takes practice to remember and re-remember. And the things that I have found to be really successful in helping to remind me because it is so easy to forget, because we are in this grand illusion where we are believing that us as humans are living this very real, planned out life where we can control every single thing. And although I do believe in taking personal responsibility and advocating for yourself and owning the decisions that you make and the actions that you take and the results that you create, I also want to remind you that there are so many possibilities open to you if you keep remembering that there are multiple things happening at once in your life, because we can only be in one consciousness at a time in our own body, right? And we can also re-remember that there are more powerful ways to think that are actually more true than what the illusion would like us to believe. The illusion says you have this one life. This is your name, this is your gender, here's your place in society, here's what you should do. And society kind of trains us to believe. First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes the baby in the baby carriage. You work, maybe you don't, but you retire at this age of 65 or something, and then you do nothing until you die. Some people find so much fulfillness out of that. That's fabulous. And there are some of us that don't want to follow that prescriptive dream, that path, that journey. And I'm speaking to you, if you have start to felt the light dim out of your eyes, your spark is sort of dying. Or even if you are an entrepreneur and you didn't follow that path, you are maybe questioning, are things coincidences? Or you are actively participating in the anti-illusion, which is feeling into your body, understanding that we are not a separate consciousness, but we are individually a part of the collective consciousness. I sort of like to think about this as we are all a cell on a collective being. So cells work together, but they are individual cells, but they are all a part of this one thing, consciousness. Although science is still catching up to really understand consciousness, it is still very mysterious. And because of that, we have philosophized to create so many different ideas of what could be, and we have created some documents that say this is what life is, and we believe that, and that's where religion is formed, right? So I want to just open up your mind so that you can re-remember more often than you forget that you cannot be separate from anything or anyone and anything you are going to create in the future. It is already yours. If you have the desire, it is because a part of you knows that is a part of what is meant for you. This might be super triggering and frustrating for people that are like, no, it's not. And I want to be separate from people and all these ideologies, right? Breathe for a second, because as long as you want to rebel against that, the longer it will take for you to step into the version of you and the part of you that already has whatever you desire, whether it is a part of your goals, it is relationships, it is feelings, it is physical. It's whether it's physical or emotional, it doesn't matter. You get to step into this and remind yourself because part of you already knows this is true. And the illusion wants to convince you that it's not. So anytime you've gotten those coincidences that hit you upside the head and you're like, oh my God, what a co-wank it dank. I want to remind you that it's not. It is a matrix revealing itself to you. And how you decide to go forward is gonna decide your next result for yourself, how you read it. And I see this so much where people want to dismiss, they want to call it a fluke, they want to call it accidental. It is not. And I don't want you to go over the board superstitious with all this stuff because you can get caught in superstition and then read every single thing as something that has meaning and like that's gonna not even be useful for you. So I want you to be in your discernment and you get to make the meaning of it. That's where your personal power is. I want to encourage you to start opening up how you make meaning of things. In addition to studying the brain, psychology, philosophy, working with thousands of clients, I have also experimented very intentionally and very ceremonially with psilocybin. And so we can talk about that anytime you want. Slide into my DMs, we could talk about it. If you're my client, let's definitely talk about it if you're interested. I don't think everyone is ready for it upon the first time that they're hearing it. However, I do know and believe and know that they this is work that is done in therapy and in some spiritual settings. That if you have the right readiness, the ripeness, guidance, intention, and a way to know and feel into your readiness to explore this, it can really open up your mind, but not just that, is show you the grand illusion and how you can really understand the realness of what is happening on earth, what you want for yourself, what is true for you. When I started experimenting with this, I was very afraid because I'm the kind of person that likes to be methodical, studious. I want to understand every single thing. And I've never been like somebody who has really played with drugs or anything along those lines. And I've always wanted to be very sure of what I'm gonna experience. And as a person that's a little more type A, has some OCD, I like to know what to expect and what's gonna happen. But with this substance, with the mushrooms, they are very intelligent beings. They can communicate. This is, you know, a part of plant medicine. They communicate there are pathways that they know that the human brain, when it's in its regular, sober, conscious mind, cannot comprehend. So I did all of the Michael Pollan, I read the book, I saw the documentaries, and I really tried to prepare myself. I asked so many people that I knew had gone through, that I trusted, that are mature people who aren't using it for recreational purposes. Although if you want to do that, go off. But that's not the purpose that I wanted to use this for. And I really wanted to go into this with a really clear intention for myself. And they say, you know, you can have bad trips and things like that. And I really believe that it's what your intention is, it will show you. So don't be afraid of this. You can just listen to this and you can make your judgments after I speak about this. You can, I also suggest, though, reading the real scientific and the therapy approach to using this medicine. So, as a person who wants to know and know what to expect and control the outcome, it's sort of the joke was on me. I had to surrender and release to the thing and the way this substance wanted to show me the truth. And I asked for it and it took me there. What I experienced was a very clear unveiling of the answers that I've always wanted. Now it didn't tell me every single thing. What would be the point of that? I figure out life and then everything's done. Although I did have a little experience like that where I was like, okay, now what? Now I know everything. Okay. What am I supposed to do? What's the challenge now? And it's not that I know everything, obviously, but now I know something that I can't unknow. And it's my job to come back to it and remember it. And that's why they call it integration, is to integrate what you learned in a very sacred, personal, methodical way that is going to help you grow and release the things that cause you the suffering and the way you challenge certain truths or the things that you battle, the addictions that you might have, small addictions, little addictions, big addictions. It will show you things you can't unknow. So now that you know you are an active participant in that addiction, whether it's love addiction, subs other substance addiction, food addiction, anxious attachment styles, avoidant attachment styles, it kind of pulls the curtain back for you to see the beauty of what actually is. The is-ness is the pure consciousness, the pure love that created you as a human. So if you are a part of this grand consciousness, this grand illusion of humanness is gonna really compete, right? It's going to have contradictory ideas. It's like they have contradictory ideas of what life is and how you should live it. So those two things are in constant communication with each other. Once you embrace that consciousness is bigger than just what you think or what you've been told to believe by other human beings. The human consciousness is not at its highest complexity. Some people call this God, some people have different names for it, some people call it universe. It can present itself in a different way. Some people call it their guides, but whatever you decide to call it or whatever interpretation you need, perfect. My guides are actually very sassy because they know that I need to have a little tough love and a little bit of humor to understand and to receive the truth. And they know I'm stubborn and I'm gonna ask the questions and I'm gonna be confused, and then I'm gonna say, say it again. And they'll say it in the way that I need to hear it. It is a very loving consciousness that will sort of shape shift into the person that you need to hear it from in order to understand it. So the way you experience the shattering of the great illusion will be tailored to you. That is how they work, that is how they know that you need it as a human. And it knows all of your past experiences. So you can ask for what you need deliberately, and it also works with what they know about you. And I say they because I'm speaking about the mushrooms, I'm speaking about the consciousness, I'm speaking about the grand, the grander truth. I'm calling they because it is energy. And if energy cannot be created or destroyed, we know this energy is vibrating constantly. Sounds, people, animals, the earth, we are all vibrating. Everything is vibrating constantly. And another quote that I love, the Einstein quote, I might not say it perfectly, but basically it's you cannot solve the problem from the same consciousness that it was created. And that is the point of what we're talking about today. So if you want to exit the matrix, if you want to exit your current state, your dimension, and try something else, and I want to encourage you not to try to escape where you're at, but rather if you want something different, to take the approach of curiosity, exploration, and fuck with the universe a little bit. Fuck around and find out in small risk ways and in big risk ways when you are ready. But you can start this work by making little shifts and trusting your intuition when it says, hey, turn right when you usually turn left. Look for these quote unquote coincidences and stop writing them off. Even if you are just taking a moment to honor and be like, oh, that was interesting. Allow yourself to collect the evidence and honor it and really appreciate that there are signs everywhere. Consciousness is speaking to you. You are not alone, and you can be in constant communication whenever you want because everything is alive, everything is vibrating, and there is no deadness here. There is no silence really here, unless you're getting the silence because you need to be with yourself and stop resisting. That's the only silence that there is. The silence is intentional and it's there for you to pause to soften your grip and release and soften to a newer, bigger truth to make space for that. Because when we are resisting, we're fighting and we are loud, there's nothing else we can receive. So if you have been fighting your reality and you are wanting something else and you're trying to take all this action to create a new thing or a result in your life or in your personal life or in your body, it's all going to be rejected because you are too at capacity, you're too full, you're too tight, you're too angry to receive or create anything else because you are not in that curious, playful state for those things to come to you. As a creative person and as somebody who's had a business since my young adulthood, I have learned time and time and time again, and of course I still forget and have to re-remember that the best ideas, the problem-solving ideas come to you when you are with yourself and in some sort of relaxed state or flow state. That is why it is essential to be doing your craft or have hobbies, be in a state of play. This can also be just openness. It could be at the grocery store when you are shopping. This is why I absolutely love shopping. It could be when you're shopping for clothes. It's just an open mind where you are exploring new concepts. You are in a sort of state of hunting and gathering where you are looking at new things in a new way. You're seeing possibilities, and you are in such a state that your brain is relaxed enough for your muse to come visit and whisper a little something in your ear. This could also be a paint by numbers set. It could be making jewelry on a girl's night. It can be taking a little nap. It could be in meditation, it could be daydreaming, staring at the clouds, looking at the ocean, staring at trees blowing the wind. It doesn't cost money. It doesn't cost a ton of time, but it does require your intentionality and your focus. It can be one minute if you want it to be, but sitting with yourself and allowing yourself to have what they call in yoga drishy gaze, where you are looking at something with deep focus and concentration, but everything else in your vision sort of softens and disappears so that you are looking at one thing and your mind can just focus on that one thing. You can focus on your breath and allow yourself to sort of stare into the abyss that allows you and tells the universe, hey, I'm here, I'm open. And remember that this is a practice. So you might try this and immediately be like, that doesn't work. It does. You have to practice it because as soon as you soften your group, that doesn't mean you're ready to receive the new idea. When you really surrender and open, the universe will see that you are ready enough to receive the new thing. Okay. So don't try to force it. Be in relationship with it, be in practice with it. Develop a ritual, a regular thing where you are visiting yourself, you are visiting the greater consciousness, and you can instead of try to action your way through life and go, go, go, go and outrun the muse that is trying to tell you these messages for yourself. She will get tired. The muse will not want to come to you. They're like, oh, she's busy. She's offline. I can't give her any of these divine messages that she's meant to get that are going to help her in her career, in her personal life, but she's not even listening to me. So I'm going to go to somebody else that wants my help. Okay. Don't use this as a way to shame yourself or punish yourself. Start to see it as, oh, of course I don't have this connection with this being, this muse, consciousness, universe, God, whatever, because I'm too rushed. If you are racing around, nobody's going to want to stop and tell you something meaningful, meaningful because number one, you can't even hear it. You won't even take it to heart. You won't implement it. So why would they waste their breath? Why would they waste their energy giving to you if you are telling it to go away? Same with your intuition. If your intuition is yelling at you, sometimes it is very loud. Sometimes it is very quiet. Sometimes it's an emotional feeling. I know for me, sometimes I'll feel a little nudge from my back and I'll have this little feeling, or I'll get chills on the right side of my ear and my arm, and I'll know, oh, something is here. And remember that these are not just physical emotional sensations that you can just write off. They are physical things that are happening because of the energetic state. And I'll tell you another story to kind of emulate this in a small way. And somebody could totally write this off, but I want to tell you why I didn't. I went on this trip to Mexico and I was coming back. And all year I had gotten this message that hey, you need to reconnect with your Mexican side. It is time to stop denying this and stop acting like you aren't half Mexican. Because if you've seen me, you know I'm very pale. And I've always told myself, as somebody who is mixed, that you can't claim that because number one, nobody believes you. Number two, you look too white to embrace that. But even though every person that is actually Mexican tells me, oh, I have a cousin who looks just like you, it's not about fairness of skin. But these are internalized messages that I have received and taken in. So I not coincidentally, after I learned this, had opportunities fall into my lap that, hey, you should go to Mexico. Hey, you should go to Mexico. Hey, you should go to Mexico. Hey, here's a free trip to Mexico. Hey, here's a gig to Mexico where you're gonna be taking care of your hotel, everything, and we're gonna pay you for the job that you're gonna do. And then a friend lives in Mexico, so you're gonna go there. And all of these opportunities led to me going to Mexico five times in one year. Wild. So I was coming home from this particular trip and I was like, hmm, let's get a little Starbucks for the flight. And I went to the Starbucks and I'm ordering my drink. It's very specific. And I they always ask your name so they can call it out. And because everything's always loud in Starbucks, there's blenders and stuff. I say Holly, H-O-L-L-Y. And a lot of times the H gets lost. So I said Holly, I spelt it out. I saw this woman start to draw the line to go down to draw an H. And then she started writing a K. And I thought, hmm, well, maybe she's doing some cursive thing where the H looks like a K because the letters, whatever. I'm like, okay, whatever. I'm just gonna leave it up. And I trust that I'll see my drink and I'll know my drink, and then I will carry on with my day. So I'm trusting the brisa, also try not to be controlling and trusting that she heard me say, Holly, H O L L Y. I accentuate the sounds. So I'm waiting for my drink. I hear them call all kinds of names. I'm the last one there. Some but there's people that were behind me that already got their drinks. I'm the last one standing. I see the drink, I'm like, I think that is my drink. So I go up and I ask, Oh, is this this drink? And they say yes, there's a little sticker and everything. I see the name, the name says Kyle. K-Y-L-E. That is my twin brother's name. And immediately I got this intuitive hit of a little laugh that ha ha the universe slipped up a little. We had a little glitch in the matrix here for you to see that nothing is coincidence. That we made a little mistake, and the illusion was revealed to me. That consciousness is always here. It is playing with us, it is revealing itself to us, and what meaning we make out of it is our decision. But you can't make any meaning if you don't actually have this awareness and take it in. So the meaning that I took from it was oh, wrong twin. Okay, so I'm seeing that the universe is keeping account of me, my family, the people I know, and it made a little glitch. So this is sort of like seeing the trick at a magic show, which brings me to another funny story that I was invited to the magic castle in Los Angeles. And if you don't know what that is, you had to be invited. You can Google it to kind of see the event. But it's a it's a cool restaurant, I think it's a hotel too, and they have these magic shows. And I had never been, I've never been invited, and I was always curious. So I went and it was a really fun, cool environment, and you have to dress up. So it's like this energy is already electric. It is in this beautiful Victorian home from 1903. So everything is so gorgeous. There's decorations everywhere, but there's also stained glass. You can feel the age of the building, and I believe this business or it became the Magic Castle in the 60s. So there's a lot of energy here because it's not only this like fun bar scene and restaurant romantic, but also mysterious vibe. There's a big Element of magic. And the magic of illusion is how you get tricked into believing that something is magical, right? Or oh my God, how did that happen? Or the trickster energy is alive and well in this building for decades. And everybody knows it. And we know these are magicians. This is their career. They've been doing this forever. And all of this is illusion. But when you're looking at it, you are in a state of awe, and that can't be. How did they do that? And it brings up all these questions and all these feelings of mystery, the magic, the curiosity. And in that state, we can feel fooled, we can be in awe. We can have frustrated experiences. We're like, how did you do that? That can't be real. And it just kind of excites you and brings this smile to your face where you are again intrigued and in awe of what is possible. So even though all of it is illusion, and I actually sat in front in a couple shows, because there's like revolving shows, and then you pop in and then you watch another one. And I sat close in front and um I saw this, you know, water to wine magic trick. And as I stared as the glass, I realized this cup, this glass, has a particularly different shape to it. And as I look closer, there's a little haze on the glass. And it of course took away some of the mystery because I'm like, oh, obviously, that's how they do it, is there's a haze that turns the clear liquid into red liquid that appears as wine. But you want to believe, you want to believe so badly that this is a water to wine situation. And then there's like disappearing coins. There are, you know, the little birdies that come out of everywhere. There's the scarves, there's the ropes that are all three links, and then they're never ending. And then, and there's all of these really fun tricks that you know are illusion because we've, you know, known about this. We have YouTube and tutorials. And at the same time, you want part of you wants to believe that it is just pure magic. So, how you understand that the magic is real and what's real is illusion. Now you can embrace the illusion to ask yourself, hey, if it's all illusion, what can I access here? And you can approach life and your consciousness with this trickster energy that allows you to create things that feel and sound and look magnificent and miraculous. You have the power to do that. You can create new miraculous results if you are open to understanding how to create the trick, the plan, the secret. Which brings me back to manifestation and your consciousness. The trick is to become a new consciousness that is different than who you are currently being. In other words, deciding that the role you are currently playing in your life, in your consciousness, how you think, how you act, how you be, is creating the current results in your life, is creating the current magic trick that is your current reality, physically and emotionally and intellectually, all of it. You can access a new different state of consciousness, a frequency. Just like changing the radio station, all of the radio stations are playing at the same time. When you change the channel, you have access to that one frequency, that one vibration that is playing that station, that is playing that song. You can change your mindset, you can change your energy, you can change what you're wearing at any time. This is something that nobody else can control within you, unless you give them permission. I don't recommend it. I want you to stay with you and remember this truth when you feel stuck and you're like, I can't create this new thing. Why is that? It's because you keep playing the old role. So, how do we play a new role? Again, I recommend starting with these low-risk experiences. I don't recommend going on a giant psilocybin journey unless you are ready for that. Or perhaps you try microdosing in a way that feels right for you. But just being open to this, being quiet, being willing to hear different messages that want to come to you. You may feel them in unexpected ways. I heard them in words. I am clear audience. Some people are clairvoyant, some people feel it, some people get little nudges. And this is why we have other healers in the world that want to charge for, oh, I heard this for you. Here's the message for you. They are simply a channel for the message for you, but only because you haven't gained the skill to read it for yourself. Those messages want to come in for you, and they are coming to you. But if you are rejecting them, you're gonna want to trust somebody else's message for you because they have more practice tuning in and being a channel, maybe than you are right now. And that reminds me to remind you to always check in with yourself. If you hear something and you're like immediately no, check in. Say, oh, is that just a new reality that I haven't been open to before? Is that a new role that it feels uncomfortable because it's new to me? Or is that a full body no? Is that a full body that's not for me? That's not who I am, that's not even what I want. That I have no desire for that. For example, if somebody was trying to open up the reality of me being a cigarette smoker for some reason, I'd be like, nah, that's just like immediately not for me. I have no interest, I have no desire, I've never even thought about that. And I have asthma. So physically, I really hate that idea. And it's not something that I actually desire. Now, when you do get the suggestion or this idea for some from somebody else, or maybe you see it and you get inspired, or you even get a little bit of jealousy or enviousness of oh, I want that. You get a little flutter of, oh, I want that for me. That is the thing that I want you to start following. That is the sign from the universe introducing, hey, you're ready for this now. Hey, here's a little subconscious, subliminal suggestion for you. Is she gonna take it? If not, that's okay. I'll make it more obvious. It's sort of like a billboard that you pass every day. And okay, you shouldn't see the billboard. Okay, maybe she'll trip and fall on this flyer that's on the ground. Maybe she'll see that. Oh no, okay, maybe she will get something in her algorithm that reminds her that she actually did want to do this. Everything is conspiring for you. When you get out of this is happening to me, which most of you are not in, especially if you're listening to this kind of podcast, and you step from this is happening to me, this is happening by me, I control everything. The next step is to release and let go that not only are you just controlling your personal life and you feel super powerful to go from victim mode to I control everything can be so powerful. And it's an essential step because you need to start to understand that you are co-creating your results. Co-creating means you are probably 50%. Actually, we don't even know the percentage, and I want to keep that open to interpretation, but you are part creator. There is another whole other invisible to the naked eye contributor to your life, to your suggestibility, suggesting things to you. If you are listening, you can co-create more powerfully because you have this energetic consciousness that you are then listening to and partnering with to create these results for yourself that your human brain is too small to comprehend right now. That's why they say, you know, I am my grandmother's wildest dream. Because our previous generation, our ancestors couldn't even fathom the kind of reality that we are living now. Consider technology, obviously. It's not something that we could even comprehend 50 years ago that we would have a computer in our hand that works on touch screens, right? This is not something that they could comprehend. Just like your future, when you start partnering with this consciousness, you cannot even fully comprehend the magnitude and the blessings that will come to you. You'll say, No way, I can't believe no, that would have never happened to me. They would never do this. This person would never leave my life. We are super close. Or that just like wouldn't happen to me because I don't live in New York. So that would never happen. Of course, you're gonna want to deny it all. So this is why we don't know our entire life fully as we live it. That's why we live in this element of mystery and we live in one timeline at a time, which is now. So you can hold the duality that there are multiple things happen at once, but you are only conscious in one of them. Actually, I don't even really fucking know. To be honest, maybe there's a different consciousness that is aware that they are in a different consciousness and she is roaming around in a different apartment. But I am in this one and I am currently talking to you. So that's what I have to believe in order to stay sane. Because if you think about this too long, too hard, and you are in a sensitive mental state, you can drive yourself a little bonkers um trying to comprehend this. So let's keep it limited to the human mind. And if you want to take those consciousness journeys, I trust that those medicines will show you what you need to see when you're ready for it at the time and place that you're ready to hear it. A small way I'm gonna introduce this idea to you because I want you to start practicing it today, is start to see every doorway as a portal. There is a portal into your bedroom, there is a portal into your kitchen, into your car, into your front door, into the office that you work at, into the coffee shop, into the mall. Think about how many doorways are in the mall. There's the doorway to the store, there's also doorways to like the back halls to where the employees can walk through. Even in Disneyland, right? There's like different portals to where you are introduced to the back side of the stage. There are tunnels and ways that things work that we can't even comprehend until you step through that portal. These portals are physical and they are energetic as well. So allow yourself to start seeing doorways as ooh, I'm stepping into this portal, ooh, I'm stepping into the bathroom. The bathroom is a lot about water, and even the shower is its own portal where you will wash. So practice seeing this and start to take a moment before you walk through any portal and recognize I'm shifting, I'm shifting, I'm shifting, I'm changing portal now. I'm in a new state, I'm in a new store, I'm in a new location, I'm in the kitchen, I'm creating beautiful food that's gonna be nutrients, that's going to change my consciousness, how I feel, my cells, all of it is connected. So don't be fooled by the illusion that is constantly trying to convince you that it is real. The physical world is actually way less real than we might want to believe when we are in our normal state of consciousness. I remember having this feeling in my stomach when I went to this hot yoga class and I love hot yoga. And at the end of the class, after Shravasana, you kind of zend out, and then you leave the door, the hot room door, and you exit that portal to step into the lobby. And it's immediately cooler because you went from a hot yoga class room to the lobby, which is probably more room temperature, and immediately you feel the shift and you feel the air on your sweaty skin, and it cools you down and you're in a different world, right? And then you go from the lobby outside to get to your car, whatever. And I remember I took this class, I was totally zened out, knocked out. I levitated to a different place in my chipassana, and I had to come back down, remember that I'm a body, remember that I'm here, remember what my name is, remember how old I am, what I do, all the things. So I'm coming back into my consciousness, coming to my body. I walk out, and the guy that was running the front desk says, Welcome back to the real world. And I had this immediate knowing and this little laugh, this little chuckle as I walked out the door, out of the studio completely to right, like what I experienced in that room wasn't the real world. That actually where I'm at, what I'm looking at, Earth, what I'm looking at is the illusion. Is this where I'm at right now? But what is really real is experiencing my consciousness and observing my consciousness from a state of I'm observing myself being a human, being a human thought, being a human body. And that state allows you to have a different perspective than your busy mind can access, than your busy human mind of consciousness of I have to go grocery shopping and then have to blah la. So remember that you will hear little messages. And to me, that was a challenge. That the guy that was running the front desk, what he said, that was just a little challenge of are you going to believe that what you experience isn't real is actually just mystical, la la la, fun and magic? Or are you going to believe that when you are just roaming around the world in your human consciousness, is that the real world? And I choose to believe that this is the illusion that I get to play with, that this earth is my playground to create more beauty, more love. Not only that, but I get to change my physical world when I decide to, based on how I'm feeling and based on the energy that I choose to tap into. And I get to be in this exploratory, creative, playful state of creation, in co-creation, of course, with what the bigger sense of consciousness wants me to create, what my mission is, what my destiny is. That is a big revealing of the grand illusion. And this is the state in which I coach from. So this is why when I am coaching, I'm sort of in this state of deep listening, listening to my client, but I'm also hearing the bullshit and I'm hearing the human fear and I'm hearing the society embedded fears, and I'm able to access these other messages, this bigger, wider state of consciousness that I get to play with and I get to be a channel for. And this translates to not only consciousness and mindset coaching, but also to style coaching of, oh, I think this is asking for your attention. Is this true? Is it not? Did it teach you something? That is what we do when we work together. There's a lot of talking, but there's a lot of playfulness, creation energy. And we will be co-creating, but we are also co-creating with our co-creators. So there really is a bigger sense of we are playing with the energy here. We are exploring, and I don't know the right answers for you, but I can be that guide for you as your coach for you to find your own answers and you to listen to yourself more deeply. If that is something that you are interested in, book a consult with me. We could talk about it. We can be on Zoom, we can chat, we can vibe and see if we are a good match for working together. You can do that using the link in the description. That's what I have for you. Remember that you are in an illusion. You don't have to believe in the illusion. And sometimes it is useful to play in the illusion. So use your discernment and of course come get coaching on it too.