8. Why money can't buy you style, class, or fun.

We unpack why you can’t buy class or style and how authentic energy, play, and presence turn everyday dressing into a MAGNET for joy and opportunity. We question money myths, show how to cultivate taste without spending more, and invite you to flirt with life again.

• money stories shaping style signals
• why logos, normcore, and stealth wealth conflict
• style as energy, not labels
• copying outfit formulas vs developing an eye
• body, color, proportion, and personality alignment
• closets as living archives of identity
• play, flirtation, and daily delight practices
• rebelling against delayed joy and seriousness
• selection over spending as a style skill
• coaching and VIP styling to build magnetism

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For a daily touch point, follow me on Instagram at coach.with.holly or TikTok at coachwithholly
For more resources and offers, visit coachwithholly.com
And if you want to get coached by me, book a consult so we could talk about working together. Use a link in my podcast description below

Hit the plus sign at the top of this podcast to follow the show and share an episode with a friend.For a daily touch point, follow me on Instagram @coach.with.holly or TikTok @coachwithholly
For more resources and offers, visit coachwithholly.com
If you want to get coached by me, >> BOOK A CONSULT << so we can talk about working together.

Transcript

Driving Muse And Money-Style Link

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Welcome back to the magnetic mindset podcast, where spirituality, style, and strategy meet to help you be your most magnetic self. If you feel like you have achieved success on paper, but are craving a deeper meaning and a life that feels alive, keep listening. The show is hosted by me, your coach, Holly Pendergast. Let's get into it. I'm driving with you right now. I figured out a way because I get so excited and I get so many ideas. My muse always comes to visit me when I am driving and in motion and sort of in an autopilot state. So I'm driving, I have a little bit of a drive, and all these ideas are flowing. And I brought my microphone with me and I hit record because I'm crazy like that. And what's been coming to me is I've been working with this client that we've been talking a lot about money and how it shows up in our style or doesn't show up in our style or buying clothes and how that feels. And whether you are somebody, whether you are somebody who does not want to invest in style, you're doing it anyways because you're buying some sort of clothes and you are showing up in a way that's reflecting money or not reflecting money. And it's wild that when people get to a certain point in success, they go the opposite of the labels and the logos, and they wear clothes that look quote unquote norm core. So they have no labels, but it's sort of like a if you know, you know thing. And it's the reason why very wealthy people don't show off their wealth with their logos and instead wear clothes that look basic or they wear a lot of neutrals and basics, but they're actually wearing very expensive clothing. But what we're gonna talk about today is the idea that you can't buy style like you can't buy class. So class isn't something that you can buy, and neither is style. And when I say class, what I'm talking about is not socioeconomic class. What I'm talking about is having the sort of energy that expresses that you are somebody who is classy. Classy can be misconstrued, right? It can be something that we use to virtue signal a certain sort of signal that I am neither here nor there. And we can talk about it in a sense of feeling supremacy in some sort of way. And classy can be defined, like when people say I want classic style, what they're referring to is a very white culture. And so when we see a certain look, because we've been conditioned and brainwashed to believe that classic is a certain look and that means classy, I want to turn the tables a little bit and redefine what classy is based on my perspective, my opinions, and my ideas about what I think is classy and what that looks like and feels like to me. Money is a hot topic. It's also a frowned-upon topic to talk about. So, but in the coaching world and therapy world, it is something that we talk about a lot because money has a lot to do with our emotions, our emotional well-being, and also our physical well-being as well and our survival. We need money, we use money in our current modern day society. So the way that we utilize it and the way that we show it off is sort of like a faux pas thing. Or some people use it as a way to signal that they are wealthy, even though they might not be. So this is all very layered, and we all have different money stories that were handed down to us ancestrally. So, from your parents, your parents' parents, how they came to be, whether you are somebody who has a trust fund or you're somebody who's been on welfare, it doesn't really matter here in this context because I want to show you how to channel the feeling and the energy of feeling and looking classy while also not needing money to be a part, a big part of the conversation. Because you can look and feel classy without having to spend a ton of money, unless you want to, but spending a lot of money doesn't guarantee that you're going to look and feel classy. You see what I'm saying? So, for example, some people believe that having a lot of logos, and I'm talking about big designer name logos, is not classy. Like these billionaires, right? They would say that and be like, oh yeah, she's obviously very loud with her money. And some people would look at that and be like, oh my gosh, you have a Chanel purse. That must mean that you are super rich and wealthy and classy. Notice how they're all contradictory and nobody has the same exact view or I or definition of what classy or wealthy looks and feels like. We are using this conversation to talk about money, but we're also looking at it through the lens of style and expression as well. Now, if you have ever tried to follow a trend or follow an outfit formula and you're like, okay, cool, this works. You might love it, and that might be something that you use every day. If you've tried something, you're like, it doesn't work right on me, it doesn't look right, it doesn't feel the way I want it to feel. Why doesn't it work on me? Because when we look at an outfit formula or we're looking at somebody else's style to inspire our own, yes, you can pull things here and there to use as inspiration. That's art, that's all art, right? But when you're trying to copy something, it's not gonna quite fit on you because that's not the energy that's right for you. Because the person that you are borrowing from is coming from their own authentic energy. So finding your own is gonna be a mixture of knowing your body shape, your proportions, what colors you like on your skin tone, what colors go well with your hair. There's so many different things. Every human has a unique look, feel, and combination of silhouettes, of literal colors, right? We have different skin colors, we have different complexion, we have different eye, hair, skin tone color shape. We are all such beautiful individual people, right? And so no one body is the same, is basically what I'm getting to here. So, in that same vein, no one's style can look the same. And additionally, even if you had identical twins, they were the exact, exact measurements and had the same everything, right? If your personalities, because your personality and your expressions are and your souls are not the same, the way one twin wears things is not gonna look right exactly on the other twin. Mary Kate and Ashley, for example. Mary Kate and Ashley, identical twins, style girlies through and through forever and always will be, right? They do not have the same exact style, and nor should they, because they are two different people with two different energies, two different souls to express. No matter how much money you have, you can buy the clothes, but the clothes are not what gives you style. There's clothes that represent fashion and the art of design, and those are all beautiful things. But how you put together your outfit from head to toe is gonna be your style. So if you've ever seen those trends of wearing versus styling, if you can wear clothes, put clothes on your body, but how you style them is your personal choice, is your eye, and how you make decisions. So when you look at somebody's style, you're looking at a culmination of particular decisions that that person made on that particular day based on the combination of clothes that they had in their closet at that time. Even when you're traveling and you have a suitcase, you have a certain amount of supplies with you. And you can always go shopping and add additional things, but everybody has a unique closet. No one closet looks the same, right? No personal closet looks exactly the same, which is a beautiful thing and mirrors a personal experience, right? We all have memories, we all have traumas, we all have ideas of what we think looks good on us, what we want to wear, and our societal expectations and cultural expectations of how much skin to show off, how much skin do we not show off, what is appropriate. All of these ideas are unique to our own experiences in our family and our culture and our upbringing and our religion that we are brought up in. And socioeconomic has a huge influence on what we think about our clothes as well. So when you try to buy style, know that it won't ever quite fit right on you. Remember those magazines that had celebrities that wear like the same dress side by side, and they say who wore it better? And you can see who's embodying the energy of that dress better. Like who looks like that dress is a second skin, and who looks like the dress is wearing them and it's not maybe tailored to their skin, or it's a completely wrong color for their combination of hair, skin, eye, combo, or maybe it's not an actual expression of them, right? You will see their body language expressed very differently. Sometimes it's obviously awkward, and sometimes it's just oh, that other person wore it better because look at their energy matches the expression of the outfit of the style. When we talk about class, and people when they people say you can't buy class, we're talking about your character. Just like style, you cannot buy style. Otherwise, it will just be a mask of who you are. It will be a performative look at me, this is who I am, this is how I'm manipulating you to think about me, versus style is unique to you. I'm speaking to you specifically too. If you know you have gorgeous clothes in your closet, but you don't really feel alive in your clothes, you don't feel like you can command a room just by walking into it because you feel so good in your body and in your clothes. And that's just a natural expression of how you walk down the street, how you walk into a room. That comes with meeting yourself at a deeper level than maybe you ever have before. So meeting yourself at that level, and that's where the coaching comes in, is asking you those questions that help you know yourself, know your younger self, know your older self in a way that gives you the wisdom and the confidence that allows you to embody the certainty in your energy. When your style matches that energy, now you're turning the heads. Now you are using the style instead of the style using you. Otherwise, we're just following whatever the ads tell us to buy, and you're not actually selecting your clothes. It's that classic devil wears product line where Merrill Street goes on the rant about how what's her name? Anne Hathaway's sweater, she didn't even pick it. That sweater was selected for her by the group of people in that room. That whole speech that I'm sure you've seen, if not YouTube it. If you don't select your style, your style is being selected for you. That is where I want to invite you to start selecting and make decisions intentionally that defy the gravity and defy the ads that you're just being fed and told to follow the part, to buy the thing, to keep up with the Joneses. Instead of doing that and becoming a replica of what everybody else is wearing, what would it look like for you to make your own decision based on who you are, based on what your inner child wants and knows, based on what 80-year-old you know is true. She calls the bullshit, and so does your inner child. So anchoring into both version all versions of you is gonna give you that well-rounded confirmation and wisdom and validation that you are who you are and you get to own it. The classiest thing, the most confident thing is liking what you fucking like, is wearing what you fucking like instead of having other people tell you what's like and deciding to try that on and wear it on your body, literally in your style. It's following the prescriptive dreaming that I talked about on a previous podcast episode, where somebody tells you, hey, this is the happiness path in life. Follow it, is the same thing as follow this outfit formula. You can do it, it might feel right because when you look right and left, everybody else is doing the same thing, but you're not actually living alive. You're living a lie to make myself rhyme here. You're living a lie because it's not actually what's right for you or the genuine expression of yourself. You are so much cooler, you are so much more creative, you are so much more unique than you're giving yourself credit for. And so when you follow and use the inspiration of others and lean on it so much, you be just become the culmination of the five people you surround yourself with. And if those are your only influences, that's can be a good thing if you're surrounding yourself with creative, amazing people that inspire you. But there's always a time to reevaluate, shed old skin, and look at okay, what is real, what is raw, what is true again and again and again. Because we are cyclical beings and things cycle in for us, things cycle out for us. We live on Earth where we revolve around seasons, and the same thing goes for our style. We are not the same as we were a year ago, two years ago, three months ago. For me, at my rate, because I evolved so quickly and I'm always checking in with myself, I'm not the same person I was last week. So my style might have shifted a little bit. I've definitely noticed this in the past five years. It is drastic for me. It is end of 2025 now, and when I look back at 2020, when the world really shifted in so many ways, I look back at that version of me and I could see at least 15 different people that I've evolved through, and my style has evolved with me over that period of time. Even one year ago, I feel completely different. And sometimes I'm dressed super casual, sometimes I'm dressed very up, sometimes I'm using a lot of jewelry, sometimes I'm like, no, this is all about the fabrics and the textures, and it's very plain looking. And accepting all the dimensions of yourself, all the dimensions of your style and your clothing, and not giving them separate categories to fit into is how you can utilize the clothes and utilize your energy to really flourish in the world because you're gonna understand different parts of yourself, love deeply all the parts of yourself, and in turn feel that confidence that allows you to attract those new opportunities, those new people that lead you towards all those things you were destined to create and achieve in your life. Coming back to my statement that you can't buy class, you can't buy style, just like you can't by being a funny person, you can't buy humor, and you can't buy a skill of using timing to land a joke or being physically funny in your expression, right? You can't buy those things. You have to grow that skill over time. And just like your style, you cannot just buy the clothes and have style. You have to try things out, figure out what worked, what didn't work, what you liked about it, what you didn't like about it, making little shifts and yes, borrowing and having inspiration from other people, but not just people in other people's outfits, but inspiration from the world in general. Are you getting inspiration from architecture, from nature, from paintings, from people who are not in the same field as you? Are you for example? I love finding inspiration from dancers who have style, even when they're taking a ballet class and they have what appears to look like an outfit that they just threw together, but it's very intentional. Even if their tights are ripped up or they're having those leg warmers that like one is higher than the other and they're different color, and their sweatshirt is half looks like somebody chewed it up and spit it out and it's off one shoulder, whatever. It is all very intentional in the lines that they use, the texture, the color. All of it is art, but it's not something that you would look at and say, that's on the runway. I'm gonna wear that. There's a certain grittiness to style when you know somebody's got it. And when you see it, it's what people call sauce. There's this one, I don't remember who it was, but it was like this small clip. It was an interview, and it was some, I think it was somebody in the music industry, and they were saying something like, What's the difference between like rich people that you didn't know was that you didn't expect? And he says, they don't have sauce. And what he was talking about is they don't have that genese qua, they don't have that oomph, that energy of like, oh my god, that person knows himself, and that is so interesting, how they put together and their mind is fascinating because I can see an expression of their soul and the decisions they made, they made on their body, on their expression of themselves. And lots of times people who have a lot of money lean on their money to make those decisions to appear as if they have style, but they don't. They have something that somebody selected for them that they're being told to wear. And if you are listening to this podcast, I know you are a successful baddie that yes, you want to outsource as much as you can. And I want to invite you to look at style as a playground for you. And if you're like playground, that's for kids, like I used to, and play is obsolete, it's excess, I need to get back to work, I'm already late for my next blah blah blah, right? You know what I'm saying? Let yourself play. If not, I know some of you haven't created art in your lives in general. Let your style be art where you play. And you can start with matching two things that you would never match before. It could be a pants and a top that you've never matched before, it could be jewelry that you've never layered in a certain way, it could be color combos, but allowing yourself to play is gonna be where you create those unique decisions that make you alive, and your energy is gonna be so lit up that that's what people are gonna be looking at, and that's gonna be the thing that's attracting those people and that attention, but of course not for the sake of attention, but that is the expression of your magnetism, and that is the energy that magnetizes those people, those opportunities to you. And this is not all to get ahead, right? Because you already know how to do that, you already know how to action your way and strategy your way and meet the right people and get into the right rooms and bump the elbows with the right people, you already know how to do that. This is about magnetism, and instead of doing all the hard grunt work, allowing things to come to you, and not only that, but really feeling electric and alive every single day, whenever the fuck you want to. You don't have to wait for anything to come into your life. And I know that running a business or just being a baddie in general is exhausting. It's a lot of responsibility. You maybe have a team that you have to look over, look after, and you have responsibilities, or maybe you have a family and you're a mom, right? These are all really great reasons to cast your style aside and just throw on something that works. And it's a missed opportunity for you to enjoy your life. And I don't want you to use that as guilt to make yourself feel like that. Oh, here's another thing I have to add to my do list is feel alive today. No, I'm talking about let this be something that is a gift to yourself that enriches your soul. Let this be a gift to yourself that makes you feel so good. Because if you're not feeling good, what the fuck are we doing all this hard work for? For the extra time that you want to spend with your loved ones? Well, what are you wearing with your loved ones? Do you feel good? Or are you living a life that feels mundane no matter what you are planning? Because you're gonna be you wherever you are. You can try to book the vacation to Hawaii, and you're gonna take you with you. So if you're feeling bored in your life, you're feeling stale, guess what you're gonna feel in Hawaii? Same way, different scenery. This is all where the internal work comes in, and that's why I use coaching to help you access that first and then use style as an expression of that energy, of that magnetism. What I find with so many of you hardworking women is that you, yes, you know how to crush your goals. Yes, you know how to make all the monies, yes, you know how to make things happen. But what's missing is genuinely having fun and enjoying your time and knowing how to be present enough to experience life where all of your cells are lit up and happy and excited, and this isn't chasing happiness, it's just actually enjoying your life, it's having belly laughs, you know? When was the last time you bursted into laughter to where your abs were hurting and you were crying because you were laughing so hard? When were you last in that feeling, in that energy of pure enjoyment? When was the last time you really took a moment to stop and stare out into space and look at the stars and be in awe of them for more than three seconds to look at the full moon and move on with your night? When was the last time you really let yourself stare out into the ocean and watch the waves and not dissociate into memories or your to-do list or stare onto I wonder what's happening with her la-la? When was the last time you let yourself really soak in the experience of being present and alive and breathing a full breath and noticing how good a full breath is? This is capacity work. This is do you have capacity to enjoy the life that you built? You might have capacity to run it and to be the bows, to be the boss bitch of your life, but do you have capacity to enjoy it? This is where style work comes in is your not only capacity to buy the things, but capacity to enjoy and really admire and receive the things that you've worked so hard to create in your life. And this can be as simple as like taking a moment to pause and like feel up your wallet for a minute because you love your wallet, and maybe it's something that you it's like beautiful leather and beautiful design, and you just take a moment to honor the fact that you bought that with the money, and more money comes into that wallet, money goes out of the wallet and just a beautiful cycle. Flirting with life, flirting in general with people, with yourself is such a lost art. It really is an energetic exchange that will brighten your fucking day, can delight you. It can be something that you give away, a little flirt here and there, a little wink at yourself. It's a little exchange of energy that's of that fun, mystical, creative energy that is what we are actually chasing in our life, right? So, can you give it to yourself on a daily basis? And it can be something that's sort of like an inside joke with yourself. Like, what is your inner child real like what makes her kick her feet in excitement? Like what can we give her some of that? Give her some of that energy. Flirt with your partner, text them something unhinged that you haven't done maybe since your your dating days. You get to bring flirting into your life, you get to flirt with ideas, flirt with clothes on the rack that you see, and you're like, hmm, that's kind of interesting. I'm gonna look at this. Flirt with the idea of that identity that you want to try on. Try it on. Flirt with the idea of actually fucking around and buying it. Flirt with the idea of it becoming your new personality if you really love it. Flirt, flirt, flirt away. You can do this in very low-risk environments too. Flirt with the person at Trader Joe's in the checkout line that's you know, trained to flirt with you pack when you're trying to turn in a lane and you need a cut in front of a car, wink at them, smile, and wave. Like, can you just flirt with the universe? Flirt with the humans on the planet and let yourself be in a fun, playful energy. I promise you, it won't only delight you, but it will also help you get your way. And of course, manipulation's a thing, then you can use flirting to do that. But what I'm talking about is play, having some goddamn fun around here and allow yourself to enjoy the energy of flirting because flirting is a gift that we've been given that we do not utilize nearly enough. We've been brainwashed to become serious, boring adults that don't have very much fun. Or maybe you need substances to allow yourself to go there, right? Like maybe you are somebody who needs the liquid courage of alcohol to go flirt with somebody. I want you to stop that and stop needing a substance or needing an opportunity, needing an excuse to access flirtation energy and instead do it on the regular. Let yourself flirt that it's an energy, it's not what you're wearing, it's not what you have, it's not your status, it's not your height, it's not your beauty that makes the flirting happen. You just get to access flirtatious energy. This is why you don't have to be hot to be hot, you don't have to be uh traditionally, whatever that means, conventionally, whatever that means, beautiful to flirt. You don't because uh hotness is an energy, your magnetism is an energy, but hot shit energy is an energy, and you get to access that whenever the fuck you want, and you don't need any circumstantial reasons for you to access that energy, you just get to enjoy it, you get to utilize it because you were born with it and because you were entitled to fun experience, and you don't need extra money, you don't need uh anybody to behave a certain way, you just get to fucking goddamn enjoy it. So just like art is uh a diminished practice, flirtation is a diminished practice, but fun is a diminished uh practice that's going extinct, it seems. So but it's uh the key to accessing all that magical magnetic energy that you are wanting to feel, feeling the emptiness, the drudgery of everyday life, the world is a hot mess, but you get to be in charge of your energy, and your joy is a form of rebellion to choose to know what's going on in the world and still consciously practice your joy is gonna fill your cup instead of making you tired, instead of draining your energy. Do not be fooled, you will uh see everywhere in the matrix that you have to wait to have fun, that you have to wait until a certain age so you retire to have fun and be off the hook and stop working and slow down. It is a lie. You get to enjoy now, you get to feel this energy now. Utilize it, allow yourself to have fun, be a rebel and enjoy your life right now. Use your style, use all of it, use your creativity, use your flirtatious energy, and watch how it makes things happen in your favor. I shared this on a TikTok recently too. That to be delighted, you have to be delighted. Yes, it's easy to be a curmudgeon, yes, it's easy to want to avoid the person at the checkout counter, yes, it's easy to just order your coffee and ghost. But when you are delightful, you get to be delighted with a beautiful interaction. Isn't that the point? Even if you're an introverted person, I don't care. You are a people person at heart because you are human. We are wired for connection and belonging and community. So enjoy it. Allow yourself to be open up to that small vulnerability that really doesn't cost you anything, but could make your day worth fucking living. Enjoy those small moments. Uh wink at the universe, thank your lucky stars when you get that parking space, when you find that deal, when you find the amazing vintage gem that you've been looking for your whole life at the flea market. That's the universe flirting back with you. So you get to flirt back with it. And this is where the manifestation happens. This is where you start to see coincidences and not just flukes, but signs that yes, you are on the right path. Yes, there's more for you. Yes, you can grow your capacity to enjoy and have more fun and love and magnetize all of that to you. I believe that to be your most natural state of being. And what gets in the way is our head, is our thinking and what we're told we should do and shouldn't do, and all the rules in life that are meant to be followed because society's created the structure, right? Let's undo some of that and see where do you not want to follow. Those social norms, what is actually true for you? Because that's gonna lead to your fulfillment and living a life that you are so proud to live, even though it does not look like anybody other anybody else's, and it shouldn't, just like your style. So enjoy those moments. Know that you cannot buy your style because it's the journey of a lifetime to know thyself and know yourself again and again and again and reevaluate and evolve. You don't need the money to buy the clothes, you don't need the money to buy style. And in fact, you can't. So let yourself have fun, let yourself play and enjoy the artist's approach to styling your body every day. I want you to continue questioning all of the things that you think are true and ask yourself again, is this true? Is this true? For example, I was speaking with my client about this too, and she just blurted out, it takes money to make money, and I was like, No, it doesn't. She was like, What? It's like it doesn't take money to make money. You and money are currencies, and this is very true. I've probably I've had a business since 2020, and I didn't have any money to start that business, I didn't have any money to run ads, I didn't have money, I made money, but it didn't come from buying things or buying people or buying ads to advertise myself. I did that shit for free, and I used my friendships, my connections, my relationships that invited in and attracted those opportunities to me. I created work, I made a portfolio, and people started coming to me asking me how they could pay me. So, did it take effort and work on my end to show up first? Yes. Did it take money? No. I didn't spend a dime, maybe like a website, like a cheap ass website that I created, like a 20 bucks, I don't even remember my first website, but I'm thinking it was very affordable, if not like you know what I want to say it was like$10 a month Squarespace website back in the day. And I used that thing. So did it take$10 a month to make money? Sure. But I've used all the free things that I had available to me to make money. And this isn't really to talk about money and not needing it, it's more so to point out that your energy does the work. Money is a currency. We have energy and literal currents of energy in our body. There is no difference. So when me and my client were talking about this, and I was saying you don't need money to make money, and in fact, she didn't need money to make money either, based on her background and how she got to her huge wealth and success. She was like, Oh yeah, I didn't have any money, and I still made all of this money. So do not let your brain use that quote and that conditioning that you need money to make money. It's and you need clothes to make more clothes and you need more money to make to buy more style. You don't need more clothes and you don't need more money to have better style. It's your selection process, it's your decision making, it's your eye, it's allowing yourself to access the energy of fun that's already within you. Do you have to create fun in your energy first? No, it's already there. You just got to tap into it. Allow yourself to touch the vulnerable part of you that is fun. You can't create any art without play. And style is nothing but art on your body. If you do want to go shopping, and if you do want to go play and look at clothes and look at clothes as materials that you get to utilize for your style, yes, I do do that too. It's called a VIP day. I'm actually on my way to one right now as I drive here. I have my little microphone on and I'm being safe when I drive. Don't worry. But this is what we do when we work together is we look at where are you now? What are you feeling in your life? Where do you want more magic, magnetism, and that aliveness feeling? And let's look at what's preventing you from being there. What's your mindset right now that's keeping you in this monotonous, mundane life where you are successful on paper, but you're not feeling what you wanted to feel from all the success that you created. That is where the coaching comes in. That is where we work together one-on-one. And this can be virtually online or it could be in person too, and we could do the styling work together because this is a huge avenue for you to practice every day. And it can be so much fun when you know how to access it. And I can show you how I do this and point out different things for you so that you know how to access this within yourself every day. Thanks for listening. And if you've enjoyed today's episode, hit the plus sign at the top of this podcast to follow the show and share an episode with a friend. For a daily touch point, follow me on Instagram at coach.with.holly or TikTok at coachwithholly. For more resources and offers, visit coachwithholly.com. And if you want to get coached by me, book a consult so we could talk about working together. Use a link in my podcast description below. Talk soon.