11. Luxury ≠ Labels

We challenge the myth that designer equals luxury and show how real wealth begins with inner regulation, personal frequency, and discernment. From fabrics and seams to vintage treasure hunts and trend detox, we map a path to style that feels alive and magnetic.

• defining luxury as a feeling, not a label
• how to evaluate quality through seams, hardware and fibers
• the frequency of natural fabrics vs polyester blends
• escaping trend cycles and overconsumption
• discernment as a daily style practice
• dressing for magnetism and self-approval
• vintage as a source of quality and individuality
• investment pieces that amplify your energy
• luxury vs wealth as inner abundance
• marketing myths that sell fantasies
• coaching as a path to alignment

Come coach with me. Use the link in the description and we will go forward to see if we're a good fit for coaching

Thanks for listening. And if you've enjoyed today's episode, hit the plus sign at the top of this podcast to follow the show and share an episode with a friend

For a daily touch point, follow me on Instagram at coach.with.holly or TikTok at coachwithholly

For more resources and offers, visit coachwithholly.com

And if you want to get coached by me, book a consult so we could talk about working together. Use a link in my podcast description below

Hit the plus sign at the top of this podcast to follow the show and share an episode with a friend.For a daily touch point, follow me on Instagram @coach.with.holly or TikTok @coachwithholly
For more resources and offers, visit coachwithholly.com
If you want to get coached by me, >> BOOK A CONSULT << so we can talk about working together.

Transcript

Welcome & Redefining Luxury

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Welcome back to the magnetic mindset podcast, where spirituality, style, and strategy meet to help you be your most magnetic self. If you feel like you have achieved success on paper, but are craving a deeper meaning and a life that feels alive, keep listening. The show is hosted by me, your coach, Holly Pendergast. Let's get into it. What the fuck is luxury these days? We have designer, we have luxury, and we're going to talk about the difference. And it's probably not what you think. Luxury and designer are not always luxurious. What I mean by that is there is a certain amount of flashiness and let's just say brand names, logo, expression that can be very beautiful and fun, created by artists making art for this brand. And then there's using logos and brands to appear stylish, to appear fashionable. And what I want to offer is that luxury is not what you're wearing, it's how you feel. It's how to know how to maintain and manage your own thoughts and feelings. Maybe even not even reacting to the ones that you know don't serve you. Because luxury is a vibe. It's looking at somebody and seeing that they fit and look so good in their outfit because they feel so good in it. Okay. And this is for you too. If you're like, I have all the things, I have all the designer, and my closet is full of beautiful things, and I still don't feel alive. I still don't feel me. I don't feel luxury because maybe I have all the designer and I feel like I don't even care about it. Just sitting there in the closet. This podcast is for you. You may or may not have noticed how the quality of designer goods has significantly decreased in the past decade or so. That is because of so many reasons. Supply chains, profit margins, all fast fashion. There is in short, because you can go on, I could go on a whole rant about that. But in short, most things are made cheaply, even if they are expensive and designer. You can tell because there's things like polyester, polyester mix in things that have high price tags. And you can always tell by looking at the seams of things. So the seams of clothing, shoes, purses, the seams always give it away. So if you're unsure, check out how it is made and look inside the garment. Look inside the purse, look inside the shoes. I'll never forget this birthday trip that I did on Rodeo Drive. I was like, let's go to Beverly Hills, let's shop the runway, or like, let's shop the whole strip and just like go try stuff on, look at something. Maybe I buy something, maybe I don't. But this was maybe a couple of years ago. So maybe 2024, January. And I remember just being so uninterested and bored and highly disappointed in the quality of the things that I was touching, trying on, and seeing. Now, some things, of course, were made really well, but the majority of things were horrible. Like I pick up a beautiful purse and it would have like a nice chain handle. And I touched it. I'm like, this chain is hollow. This is not even brass. And it was just so apparent to me that I was like, this is basically Ross dresser-less quality at this price tag, at this name tag. And it's tricking people into thinking that designer is best. Designer isn't always best, which is sort of a disappointment, but it's also sort of a liberation in the fact that you can find luxurious pieces that are already in the world that are vintage, secondhand, or small brands. Sustainable brands is what a lot of them call it, handmade um leather. And there's a science to this too. It's not just the fact that it is beautifully made. Things have frequencies. Energy and fabrics are one in the same. So you can look up the different measurements and Google what are the different frequencies of different fabrics, and you'll find all kinds of charts on Google. But basically, fibers that are from the earth. So this is cotton, linen, flaxseed, hemp seed, wool, leather. Okay, keep going. Like nature, natural materials will have you feeling better as they touch your skin because it's frequencies coming in touch with your frequency. Polyester and polyester blends are basically plastic. Okay. And those things do leach into our pores because our skin is porous. And as we sweat, the fabrics break down, all the things, right? So be conscious of that, not only just for your health, but for your bank account because you are spending money on things that aren't going to last very long. And you can just start to recognize and discern what you are choosing. Discernment is one of my favorite words because you get to look at the options available, be aware, and then make a choice. You are always, always, always discerning. Is this the cut that I like on my body according to my shape, my proportions? Is this the color tone, the color story I want to use, considering my skin tone, my undertone, my overtone, and ultimately the color of my aura, so to speak, like the energy I want to invite in and express. Is this my style or is this something I've been told to wear? I'll give you another example that's not closed because we all can see this in the room. So living in Southern California, people are carrying around all kinds of water bottles, and there's different water bottles that come into trend year after year after year. And I remember the Hydro Flask was the first insulated long cool um like timing for water. Okay. There was a Hydro Flask, then there was Yeti, then there's Stanley, then there's a Walla, Walla La, whatever it's called. And they're all kind of rotating in popularity. And there's new brands that are coming out with new water bottles that are saying, you know, use this over plastic disposable water bottles because disposable water bottles don't actually exist. The plastic never deteriorates. So they offer this option of a metal stainless steel water bottle. But what do we do? We buy multiple. So now we have multiple things that we're supposed to only have one of that would last us if we kept using it. But the trend is telling us we need the new one, we need the next one, we need the big one, we need the small one, we need the colorful one, we need the non-colorful one, we need the one with the straw, we need with the one with the mouthpiece. Like, do you see how this goes so overboard with capitalism? Right. This is what I call being a sellout. And I say this with so much love because of course I do it too. Okay. I'm not exempt from this. I am human. I am in this world. And it's important to give yourself grace, but notice when you want to buy something just because it's the thing to buy. Okay. Buying that shit because it's in means you're selling out and selling your values and giving the power of choice and discernment to a company that is teaching you to want it. It's not a natural desire that you have on your own. Okay. And once you start to become more and more aware of this, you start to become empowered by your discernment, which allows you to become a more stylish, expressive, intentional person. This is where the sauce is. This is where the secret weapon is. This is where you really start to stand out, is because you say no to things that aren't aligned for you, even if they're super trendy. And you get to like what you like because you like it. So it might be something super weird, super edgy, super sexy, super smart looking. And when you like what you like and you have it on your body, that is what makes you so fucking magnetic. I'll give you an example. So I've been recently going to this really cool exclusive club, I'll just say. And there's a certain amount of dressiness that one is supposed to wear, right? And there's a certain, and I respect that. There are sometimes dress codes, there are sometimes like the vibe of the city, right? And I was a newbie in this town, I should say. And I was like, okay, so what do people wear here? What do they not wear? Because I don't like being underdressed. I don't mind being overdressed, but I like to be like still very much me, but still know the vibe of the place. You know what I'm saying? So it's both and so I walked in there on the first day wearing something that was a little out of my comfort zone, but was still me. And I was like, okay, this feels good. I wouldn't normally wear this, but this is the vibe of the town, the city. Okay, this feels cool. And then by the last day, I was like, okay, I'm gonna wear this. It's in my suitcase, right? That wasn't new to me. I've worn before, but I hadn't styled it together in that way really. And so it was very like not underly casual, but I was wearing these like white linen pants. And then, you know, if you've seen me on social media, I use scarves as tops a lot of times, and there's so much diversity that you could do with a scarf, especially when you're traveling. It's easy to pack, easy to play with. Okay. So, and I had this jewelry that like I love, I've been wearing for a couple of years, and I kind of like rotated it, and it felt like a fresh outfit because I hadn't worn those things in that particular combination before. So it felt new to me, but these are items that I've already owned for years, but I felt hot wearing them. Okay, that's the key. Feeling hot wearing. So I walk in and I'm already comfortable here in this club, and I'm like, this is like a beautiful place. I know where everything is, I know where the bathroom is. Like, I know like where to go for this vibe if we want to sit down, if you want to go to the bar, whatever. So I'm enjoying my time here and having like a late night dinner. And I was like, you know what? I'm gonna do a lap. I feel like engaging with some new people right now. And I was chatting with a friend and she was like, Yeah, absolutely go. Like, get out of here. Go do it. And I was like, oh my god, I'm feeling a little nervous. And I was like, okay, I'm gonna come up with a plan. I'm gonna do half a lap on the first floor. Oh no, on the second floor, and then I'm gonna go to the bathroom and I'm gonna do a second lap on the bottom first floor, and then I'm gonna come back up. And if I see somebody interesting, I'll stop. But my plan is to come back here in like a couple minutes after fixing my lipstick in the bathroom. So I was like, okay, perfect. I have an agenda. I stand up, I walk through the bar slowly. I don't see anyone interesting, and I walk through the hallway and I go to the elevator and I click the doorbell and right away magnetizes somebody, had a great conversation the whole night. It happens that quick when you make the decision to choose to wear what you fucking like. It doesn't have to subscribe to anybody else's rules, it doesn't have to match the vibe of the city. And in fact, you should say fuck the rules. You have to know what the rules are in order to say fuck the rules. That's why I say know the rules. Know the rules in order to fuck them. Okay, then you fuck the rules, you wear what you want to wear, knowing what you know about the location, about what you're walking into. And that is what makes you magnetic because you feel so good, because you are vibrating at a state where you are satisfied with yourself. You feel complete, you don't feel any sense of lacking or desire for compliments or desire for attention because you're just strutting through any location. Anything can be a runway, any hallway, any aisle of the grocery store can be your runway and you walk that thing. Okay, you walk it like a dog, okay? You walk that thing and you feel so good, and you get to look around and be the chooser of your life instead of wanting or desiring or needing to be chased by attention or looking for attention to go chase. This happens for you the moment you decide. This was so quick for me. And in fact, I had been wearing the outfit all day. So I was kind of like, hmm, should I have change? Nah, I still like my outfit. Okay. So I've been wearing the outfit all day, and then I went to like dinner vibe, but I was like, whatever. People say don't wear light clothes during the night. Whatever. I liked it. So I did it and boom, immediately I created a really fun opportunity for myself that wasn't manipulated. So there's the manipulation of how do I try to get attention with my outfit and manipulate the universe to do what I want it to do, which is either give me attention or have somebody approach me, whatever. And then there is, and this is for client work too, this is for business. And then there is, I am who I fucking am. Whatever is attracted to it will be the moment that I get to discern because I am this one in power. I am the one on my throne deciding yes or no. Okay. It puts you in a queen energy versus a how am I gonna manipulate the world to look at me? This is what I mean when I say magnetism is things come to you. You don't have to go find it. You don't have to manipulate yourself to get the vibe right. Okay. This is the same as actioning your way into a new result instead of being at your high frequency, being in your most magnetic state, and watching the universe bend to you, come to you with very little effort because you are just feeling so good in your body. This is the power of your style. This is why I say the magnetic frequency. This is why I coach the women that I coach, is because it becomes so easy when you are vibrating at that state, when you are in flow, when you're not feeling insecure and tugging at your clothes or asking or looking around, am I looking okay? Is this right? Am I saying the right thing? Right? Am I wearing the right shoes? All of that goes out the window when you feel secure in your style, when you are no longer needing or have any desire to manipulate yourself into fitting into the box and then asking the box if you fit, okay, the ultimate external validation, that is expensive emotionally. Okay. So the opposite is feeling good first and letting things come to you. It's a beautiful system. When you are out in the world and you're looking for pieces, you're shopping or you're thrifting, remember that discernment is what will make you rich. Because if luxury is not what you look like or how much you spend on an item, it's how you feel in that item, in that fabric, in the cut, in the color, in that item that is reflecting out what is already within you. That is luxury, that is bougie. Okay. When you are out in the world shopping, you get to discern, discern, discern, discern how you feel. Is this amplifying your positive energy, or is this comfortable based on who I've been in the past? Is this article clothing current to who I am and current with where I'm going? Or is this something that I already have multiples of because it's so current and with and in alignment with my past self? Now, this inner regulation, this nervous system regulation system that you have is what is the greatest quiet luxury in life. The greatest quiet luxury in life is liking yourself and knowing how to come back to yourself and manage your thoughts and feelings when you are dysregulated, when you get triggered, when something unexpected happens. That is the luxury that we all want. And you can't buy it. You can't pay to get injected with emotional regulation skills. This is something you have to build over time. And this is, again, the discernment of am I playing through a pattern that is old? Or can I step into a new paradigm, a new way of thinking that actually empowers me to chill the fuck out and remember that everything's gonna be fine? This happens in airplanes all the time, right? When your gate changes and you have to take, you have to run to the next entire arm of the airport, take a shuttle, upstairs, down the scalator, to the right, to the left, and you're getting lost. Who are you gonna be in that moment? What are you gonna give your energy to? The frantic, scared, nervous, or are you gonna decide that no matter what, you're always gonna be okay? That no matter what, I'm always gonna be okay. Energy, I'm secure, I'm full, I'm whole, I lack nothing, I need to chase nothing or no one. That's the magnetism. That's the secure attachment style. And I want to encourage you to ask yourself the question when you're out looking at clothes or even in your closet, okay? Is this item satisfying the feeling I'm looking for? Okay. Is it satisfying the quality I want to feel, the function, the beauty, the uniqueness? Okay, when you're out searching, ask yourself that question. And you have to identify first what is the feeling that I'm looking for? Sometimes you don't know until you put it on your body and you're like, whoa, I didn't know this is a feeling I could feel that. Okay. This isn't something that you have to um really plan and execute, right? It's like something that you need to do. It's like playing, it's exploring and finding out along the way. It's always about the journey, it's not about the destination. And this is why when you hire a stylist to tell you what to wear, it's not always gonna feel right for you because somebody else is suggesting it for you. Now, there are some really powerful stylists, and I have done this before when I'm with a client, especially in person. I'm like, try this, just trust me. Like, put it on and see how you feel. And you can kind of be psychic and so in tune with somebody's energy that you're like, oh, I know she's gonna love this. She wouldn't pick it herself, but she's gonna try it on and know she's gonna love it. Yes, those things happen, but I'm talking about kind of those um generic formulaic style recommendations that are like, all you need to do is wear white leg jeans with this kind of top. And that just is a formula that you're following versus creating your own unique recipe. That recipe is like a perfect analogy because some people like more garlic in their salsa and some people don't. Okay, so you get to create your own secret sauce that is gonna be sustainable for you and is gonna be the thing that amplifies your lit up energy versus needing the clothes to give you the approval to think and feel that you are okay and good and magnetic. We are using the clothes as simply an amplifier to what already is the frequency that already is within you. We are just matching the freak. You know, somebody gonna match my freak. Are you gonna match the frequency with the clothes of your highest vibrating frequency that you know you want to access today? That's what I want to keep asking you, and what you should ask yourself when you're getting dressed every day. Here is how I measure luxury. And I'm gonna talk about the difference between luxury and wealth, okay? But here is what I think is luxurious. I ask myself, is the quality there? Okay. High quality, is the stitching right? Is the fabric right? Is this gonna last? Is it gonna lose shape? How many times do you think I could wash it before it changes, right? The seams, right? I always am looking at the seams and the cut because that will give away if this is a fast fashion piece or not. Whether it has a big logo brand name or not, the seams will always give it away. I believe and I have seen through so much shopping, vintage shopping, flea markets, that vintage is best because they use higher quality fabrics and higher quality stitching. But those two things make an item last so much longer than anything that is modern today. And maybe not anything because there's a million companies out there making beautiful, fine leather goods and stuff. But I just want you to keep looking at it, okay, and be open to buying something that already exists because it's going to be an amazing quality. Okay. It also gives you that extra, like you can't buy this anywhere else kind of eye because it's vintage, right? So vintage is. An easy way to try on multiple facets of your energy, different dimensions, and see is this the right fit for me? Is this right for fit for me? It kind of just gives you more options than what is currently for sale at the mall or online at online stores. Okay. Because it's so different. You can find a statement piece much easier through vintage than you can through modern day shopping. And that is simply because there's more to choose from. Okay. So the world of vintage goes all the way back to the beginning of clothes. Okay. And then what's modern is just what's currently out there. Even though there's like 52 fashion weeks and whatever, there's always new stuff coming out. I really do see vintage as a way to really explore yourself and try on things that aren't just in your face, but you really get to decide is this me or not? So look for vintage. That's a really great way to play and explore what you like, what you don't like, and why. And then it's more like a treasure hunt when you are out at these markets and places. You're treasure hunting for the one specific thing that turns you on and lights you up. That's those are the pieces that are great investment pieces because they help you amplify your energy, your frequency versus buying a purse that is$4,000 because you know it's the it purse right now. Okay. I would rather you spend that money exploring your style and trying on different things you never would have tried on before to see if they're in alignment with you or not. And sometimes it's buy and return, okay? And then sometimes it's I would have never expected to like this, but I love it. And you're trying it on the store and immediately it fits like a glove. Those are investment pieces in your energy. No matter how much money they are, those are investment pieces because they amplify your creative freak energy that makes you magnetic. So you can find a necklace that was$7 and it's sterling silver. And for some reason you're like, oh my God, this is me in a necklace. And you wear it, and every time you wear it, you feel so good. You get all these compliments, and you are just shining and vibrating at a level that you're like fucking sunshine everywhere you walk. That's your magnetism. And it could have cost you$7 instead of$7,000 because it's not about the designer, it's not about the piece, it's not about the what you're buying or the jewelry or the shoes. It's about how you feel when it's on your body. That is an investment piece. That is a part of your supplies. Like artists have supplies, that's a part of your supplies because every day you get dressed and that is art. You are putting together art on your body. Okay, so now the difference between luxury and wealth. Wealth is spiritual. It is a vibration, it is an energy that you feel. Wealth is not material. Okay, wealth isn't look at all these expensive things I have. I must be wealthy and let me show other people that I'm wealthy. Wealthy is being rich internally. Rich internally is do I feel abundant? Because you can't buy the feeling of abundance. You can't have enough money to make you feel abundant. Because if that were the case, there would be people that were not greedy, right? There would be billionaires that were like, oh, I'm done making money. I don't need it anymore. I don't even want it anymore. I don't even care about it anymore. But that's not usually the case. People that have all that fuck ton of money want to make more and more, more and more and more because they're looking for a feeling that money can't satisfy. I'm gonna say it again. They're looking for a feeling that money cannot satisfy. So they're looking for safety, they're looking for groundedness, they're looking for certainty, reassurance. And they think the more money they have, the closer they will be to that feeling. And it's simply not true. If that was true, they would have had it by now. Okay. Wealth is an internal experience. I look around all the time and I'm like, oh my gosh, there's so man, oh my gosh, there's so much mint growing in my garden. I'm so wealthy. I'm so rich and abundant with mint in my garden. I look at my cats and I'm like, oh my God, I'm rich in cuteness in my house because they are so cute. I look at my friendships and I'm like, my friends got my back. I couldn't pay for that. You can pay for a bodyguard, but do they really get your back at the end of the day? I mean, I guess you're paying them for it, but are they your friends? No. Are they there for you spiritually, emotionally, and can laugh with you in a way that only friends can? No, because they're paid to be there. So you can be rich in love, rich in generosity, rich in glance, rich in cuteness. It's all internal. You can be rich in having skills of how to regulate your own nervous system. You don't need to be materialistically rich in order to be wealthy. You don't need to chase those expensive designer things. I mean, you can have them and appreciate them and love them. There's certain designers that absolutely like scaparelli. What the fuck? That's the most beautiful art I've ever seen. Okay, but I don't need it to feel wealthy. It is not a sign of status to me, and for people who are actually stylish and know how to use style, the designer isn't an expression of style or wealth. Okay. It's a just an expression, it's neutral. All those pieces, those purses, the designer think they're neutral. They're just items, they're just garments. Okay. Only when you assign meaning to them and aspiration to them, and the aspiration comes from marketing, it's teaching you to aspire to want these things. Like, have you seen those um fragrance commercials? I'm just thinking of the one with like um Rihanna, and it's like all golden, and she's like walking super slow with water. It's like, it's just so like this is such a weird fantasy. And you're like, oh, wait, what are they selling again? Oh, it's perfume. Okay. I mean, Rihanna looks gorgeous and like cool set, amazing outfit, but like it's just as you in this days where you're like, but what is the point again? You know, like the point is to teach you that if you buy this perfume, you will feel as if you were Rihanna in this little daydream vignette of an ad. So if you would like to exit this paradigm that is not based in the reality of feeling abundant or wealth or luxury, come coach with me. I will help you with this. This is all internal work that manifests on the external. So basically, how you think and feel about yourself will reflect in your style. And your style is the first thing that people see because they see the outside before they hear your story or know your energy, right? So when those two things are in alignment, you are so magnetic. You can't help but people come to you and want to offer you amazing things. And energetically, too, you will start to get texts, calls, emails that feel like out of the blue, just want to offer you a new job opportunity. This has happened to me on several occasions. People just want to give you a grant money. People are like, oh, I made this new opportunity for you in mind. Can we talk on the phone? Oh, I want to hire you for this. Are you still doing this? This is what happens when you change your energy internally is yes, you will change your style. Yes, you will be more expressive and magnetic, but there's also unseen things that are happening in the universe because of how you are vibrating. The vibration is not something you can see with the naked eye. Okay. It's something that is happening all around us, just like Wi-Fi is happening all around us, but we don't physically see it with our eyes. You are vibrating. You are basically Wi-Fiing opportunities to you that have always been accessible to you, but not until you are in that energy. Okay. And when you have those experiences come to you, they feel like, ah, yes, this is always what I wanted. I would have never expected it would come to me in this way, which is a super fun human part of being delighted by what opportunities come to us and how. But this is what magnetism is. Okay. I have a one-to-one coaching program called the magnetic frequency. You're going to want to sign up for a consult with me to talk about working together. Use the link in the description and we will go forward to see if we're a good fit for coaching. But that is what I have for you today. That is what luxury is. That is what wealth is. It is a spiritual, internal, energetic experience. You don't need the material things to be wealthy or experience luxury. Luxury is an internal job. Okay, talk to you on the next podcast. Thanks for listening. And if you've enjoyed today's episode, hit the plus sign at the top of this podcast to follow the show and share an episode with a friend. For a daily touch point, follow me on Instagram at coach.with.holly or TikTok at coachwithholly. For more resources and offers, visit coachwithholly.com. And if you want to get coached by me, book a consult so we could talk about working together. Use a link in my podcast description below. Talk soon.