15. Scarcity be GONE.

We explore how scarcity hooks the nervous system, why tight control repels opportunities, and how to practice non-attachment without losing standards. We share the “open palm” metaphor, the buyer mindset in dating and work, and why perspective is the engine of abundance.

• scarcity as a survival reflex and modern trigger
• non-attachment as intention without control
• the sand metaphor for holding opportunities
• abundance of perspectives through coaching and community
• buyer mindset in dating, business, and life choices
• dismantling to create space and end stagnation
• support without crutches for durable autonomy
• long-term transformation through repetition and reflection

If this is you and you are wanting to work together, hello, sign up for a consult. Use the description below to sign up and we could talk about what would be good for you and what package might work best for you. For a daily touch point, follow me on Instagram at coach.with.holly or TikTok at coachwithholly. For more resources and offers, visit coachwithholly.com. And if you want to get coached by me, book a consult so we could talk about working together. Use a link in my podcast description below.

Hit the plus sign at the top of this podcast to follow the show and share an episode with a friend.For a daily touch point, follow me on Instagram @coach.with.holly or TikTok @coachwithholly
For more resources and offers, visit coachwithholly.com
If you want to get coached by me, >> BOOK A CONSULT << so we can talk about working together.

Transcript

Welcome And The Message Of More

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Welcome to the Magnetic Mindset podcast where spirituality, psychology, and philosophy meet to make you your most magnetic self. If you feel like you have achieved success on paper, but are craving a deeper meaning and a life that feels alive, keep listening. The show is hosted by me, your coach, Holly Pendergast. Let's get into it. There is more. There is more. There is more. There is more. This is what I heard in the meditation earlier last year. And it was really like the key of anti-scarcity for me that helped me unlock really being in non-attachment. So scarcity makes our nervous system freak the fuck out, right? And then we cling on to things, we try to make things work that aren't working. And that is the key to being attached to a certain outcome and your human mind wanting to be the executive decider of how something will go down. But we know from experience that yes, you can be the best planner. And listen, I have done a lot of things that I planned and they went perfectly to plan because I'm an amazing planner. But when you are creating a bigger vision, you don't know how you're going to get there. Okay. So if you're type A a little bit like me and you're like, no, exactly, I'm really good at plans. They pretty much always go to plan. This is for the bigger, um, overarching theme of your life when you have bigger goals and you don't know the step-by-step of what that's gonna be like. Okay. This is bigger than just a mindset thing. This is also a social thing, and this is a human conditioning thing. And primally, we have been designed to think and consider scarcity because if we don't have enough food, we are gonna die, right? So our nervous system is definitely going to react to that. And in our modern world, of course, I'm coming from Los Angeles, California, and I live in a place that is very abundant. And my brain can get in a place of scarcity, even though there's opportunity around me everywhere. There are resources around me everywhere. I have such privilege and access to pretty much every single fruit and vegetable I could possibly think of, and multiple grocery stores within a one mile radius. So, yes, I'm coming from a place of privilege that I want to acknowledge, but I also want to help you acknowledge the mindset of how easily it can be triggered for you to jump into your scarcity mindset and be really attached and want to control, control, control. So, this mindset is going to help you detach and be in a place of non-attachment. So you can allow those things to flow to you. But of course, it doesn't relate to every single thing. For example, being in a mindset of more and more and more can sound like greed, right? It can sound like overabundance and greed can go together, and that's where it gets dangerous, right? That's when it becomes exploited. For example, natural resources. We can't just be thinking more, more, more, more and be extracting, extracting and extincting things that we need to live as fragile human beings that only can survive in a certain condition on earth, right? Clean air, clean water, et cetera, food. So, what I want to encourage you to use this mindset for is rather releasing your grip on the thing that you think it needs to work out. Okay. This could be relationship, this could be your business, this could be a family member, this could be one opportunity that feels very high pressure, like it could create a bunch of new connections for you. Anything you want to squeeze, okay. Think about your opportunities as sand. Okay. Sand is everywhere. Sand is like earth, right? Rocks, tiny pieces of rocks around the world. And what is earth except for a giant rock, right? So when you squeeze sand, it falls through your fingers, right? If you hold sand gently with an open palm, you can hold sand for quite a while, right? Unless a gust of wind comes or something, right? And when you try to squeeze and manipulate and control that sand, it wants to fall out of your hand, right? It will, it's the same thing as repelling. You're repelling opportunities the more you want to control them and hold them and squeeze them in a way that manipulates them into coming from a place of scarcity of holding on to. And listen, I am the expert at this. I have learned the hard way several, several, several times that you cannot squeeze things and hold on to them simultaneously. Unfortunately, learn from me, but also you got to reflect on your own experiences and learn from your past experiences too, right? But there's always this desire that I think this will work this time. And what I have found is releasing back into abundance from a place of, okay, if not this one, if this doesn't work out, there will be a new opportunity. Or if this isn't the mentality that's working out for me to think and feel right now, there's a new way of thinking that I haven't thought to think yet. Okay, so abundance of different ways to look at something. There's abundance of perspectives and not only your way of perspective, your way of viewing things, and not only from the opposite end, but there are infinite ways to look at something. And that's where a coach is super valuable. That's where perspective and wise people who have written books and are spiritual teachers can point out a different perspective. Even just the person next to you has a different perspective, right? Even if they have no training, they have no understanding of philosophy, psychology, cognitive behavioral therapy, none of it, they're still gonna have a different perspective. Even if you were twins, identical twins, in the same household, same condition of environment growing up, same genes, right? You can have a different perspective. So abundance of perspective is going to open up more to you. Okay. It's gonna open up more opportunities, more people. And I notice this in dating right now, where I'm looking around and I'm seeing these people, and sometimes I'll feel myself start to get attached and I'll start to like some and I'll start to form a little bond of uh what's the word, camaraderie. And my nervous system wants to start to attach, and I have to remind it no, no, no, no, no, no. We are staying open and observing the opportunities given to us, and then we get to be the chooser. I heard somebody say this and it was really good to not be the seller, but be the buyer. You aren't trying to sell anything about yourself because selling comes from a place of proving, proving uh why this is valuable, proving who is valuable, and all the assets of the thing that you're selling, the assets and benefits of what you're selling. However, if you turn it around and decide that you are the buyer, that you get to see what's out there, and there's no rush, there's no rush to choose. There is just observing to see what is out there and what do I like. Or maybe you choose something temporarily, learn from it, and move on to something else that is of more your fancy, right? So being in a state of abundance, I used to cling on so hard where I was like, no, this has to work out. This is the only thing, the only person, this is but my only niche in my business that will ever work for me. And it has to be only online market, like that's all such BS scarcity thinking. And it's trying to bottleneck your idea into one very tiny specific way of doing things. And I just want to invite you and re help you remember, because you know this is true, that there are so many things out there waiting for you, so many people that haven't met you, so many people that you haven't met, opportunities that are coming your way. And at the end of the year, we can look back at the beginning of the year and be like, oh my gosh, I would have never expected that amazing opportunity to come to me. I would have never expected to travel that place. I would have, if I didn't meet that new person in 2025, I would have never XYZ, right? So remember this for your future. There is always more for you. You're gonna laugh more, you're going to work out more. If you didn't catch this bus, there's another one in five minutes. And you don't have to be in a place of scarcity or fear that there isn't something there for you. This also plays out when you think you have everything and you feel content, but maybe your contentness is kind of creeping in as boredom because there are more things for you. There's another book in you, there is another business in you. Maybe there's another baby that you want to have, maybe there's another house you want to have, or maybe you want to move. Maybe you need to let go of some things to make space for what is new. Okay. And this can feel like when you've created success, it can feel like, oh God, I have to do that again. I already built this whole thing and now it's going to crumble and I have to build it all again. Yes, you will. Yes, you will. Yes, you will. This is what we're here to do is to evolve, to get to a certain point, enjoy it, look around, admire all the skills that that required you to have and build so that you can have them, and then it will crumble so you can step into the next version of yourself that is more evolved. When we don't move, when we don't evolve, we have stagnation. And stagnation invites yucky things like rotting, decay. And yes, you may experience rotting and decay when you are growing because you have to sometimes let the other thing die. That is where I want to invite you to chill, to let it die, to let it fall apart so that you have space. Because without that space that you've created for the new thing to come in, you will be at your max capacity, you will resist, and then you will have actively rotting, stinky energy, because things that raw stink, right? So instead of dwelling in it, can you let it decay, let it fall apart, let it get gross, do another again, do a cleanse, do another energetic releasing of that thing to make space? And yes, is it scary? Yes. Yes, is it uh going to challenge everything you thought was true? Yes. Will it invite new harder conversations with the people close to you? Yes. Will everybody come with you to the next step in your journey? No. Is that scary? Is that scarifying? Yes. Is it okay? Can you handle it? Also, yes. This is where that non-attachment comes in. This is where real self-confidence comes in. This is where magnetism comes in. Is having the faith and the trust that no matter what happens, no matter who leaves, no matter who dies, no matter who cancels their plan, no matter the money stuff that comes up, you can figure it the fuck out. Here's how I like to think about it. If not me, who? If not me, who? Because when I think that way, I get to step into, oh yeah, I am powerful. I trust my ability to make plans. And if you're somebody who's not quite that way, can you trust in your ability to hire somebody who can help you or actively seek advice or ask ChatGPT, right? Can you trust yourself to move into the space where you not from a place of hyperindependence, but from a place of deep trust that you can do it on your own? You will figure it out or you will find resources and you will support yourself with resources to help you get there. Having a coach, having a therapist, having somebody in your life there with you can be there to support you for sure. Ask yourself, is it a crutch? Can you call them one less time a day? Having a coach there by your side as things may be crumbling, or as you are actively expanding and growing into this next version of yourself, is life-changing. It is catapulting because that person, could be me as your coach, is gonna give you new ways of thinking about yourself, is going to show you a new perspective that is gonna allow you to feel safe as you expand, allow you to sit deeper in your own self-trust so that you can make those executive decisions confidently. If this is you and you are wanting to work together, hello, sign up for a consult. Use the description below to sign up and we could talk about what would be good for you and what package might work best for you. But I have a lot of space right now. I am opening up more coaching spaces, and I am also evolving and trying new things. I would absolutely love to be that person for you. I am actively in a place of rebranding and I'm so excited. You're the first to hear of it. And I'm opening myself up to more ideas, more people, more coaching opportunities, and I would love to support you on your journey. And of course, if you've been around for a while, you know I do share things about my journey along the way. So you can expect to see a little big rebrand in the works. Um, but basically, I am opening up the horizon. What happens with me in my life is I get really excited about something, call it the ADHD, whatever, I don't care. Really excited, hyperfixate, master it, get immediately bored. And so I'm doing this so in so many areas of my life where I am busting open what I thought needed to happen and redesigning my life. So if you want to be on this ride with me and experience some of the new perspectives that I am experiencing and applying to my own life as I expand and grow, this year I know has so many opportunities for me. I can feel it. There are connections I have never had before. There are networking opportunities that I am leaning into and really just busting open all of my limiting beliefs and growing my capacity even farther and in my nervous system, even farther than I what I thought was ever possible for me. So, again, if you want to be in this energy, sign up for a consult and let's talk about working together. I'm gonna be focusing more on general life coaching because my most successful clients have stayed with me three months to five years. Where you get the deep transformation is in longevity because you can't rush your transformation. Does transformation happen in an instant? Absolutely, but you can't demand your transformation to happen upon desire. So having time together, this is where I'm really allowing myself to grow, is like really focusing on the clients that want to stay with me and work with me through their own trial and error so that they can have permanent change in their life, whether you are kicking habits, integrating a new one. And I've worked with clients around everything under the sun: entrepreneurship, money, body image, weight loss, any goal you can think of, I've worked on it with the client. Visibility showing up in your business, of course, style and expression and embodiment. And through coaching and the energy work, we could move some big stuff. So if you are at a place where you know you have a good, you know you are not like drowning underwater, that type of feeling. Know that there are more epiphanies to be had. There is more growth for you. There are more opportunities waiting for you to claim them. There is more self-esteem work. There's more worthiness stuff to uncover. And it's two sides of the coin. There's more contrast. There's more bright and there's more dark. The more dark you uncover, the more lightness you experience, the more lightness you experience, the dark gets darker. So again, I've worked with clients who have completely rid their fear of public speaking, showing up on social media, have lost 30 pounds, have grown in their business, resolved things with their partners, mama drama, all the things, sister drama, friend drama, experiencing that is my jam. So if you're like, how does she do it? What is she working on? I like how she is expanding all the time. She's growing, she's taking care of herself. I've seen her grow. Even if it's just in the length of this podcast and you want in on it, I'm here. That's what I have for you today. Remember, there's always more. Do not let your brain convince you that there's only one opportunity. It's the opportunity in front of you. It is simply not true. There's always more, and you can breathe into abundance and let that unfold for you because it's the way you think and feel, you will find evidence of that. So remember, when you are stuck in that, it's your brain trying to trick you. It's your brain thinking that's what survival is. And there is more. There's a new way of thinking about it. There's always new perspectives. Scarcity doesn't have to run all of your life and your decisions. Don't let it trick you. Thanks for listening. And if you've enjoyed today's episode, hit the plus sign at the top of this podcast to follow the show and share an episode with a friend. For a daily touch point, follow me on Instagram at coach.with.holly or TikTok at coachwithholly. For more resources and offers, visit coachwithholly.com. And if you want to get coached by me, book a consult so we could talk about working together. Use a link in my podcast description below. Talk soon.