16. Why I quit MANIFESTING.

White-knuckling your dreams? We’re unpacking why “try harder” or have the "right actions and thoughts" style of manifestation keeps you HAULTED, stuck, frustrated af.

Subtracting noise, not adding effort, is how you allow magnetism to do it thing.

Because everything you own and most choices you make are proof you are constantly manifesting, the real work is decluttering beliefs picked up from other people's trauma... stories like money is hard, relationships are rare, and creativity aka vulnerability, is unsafe. 

Together, we audit those scripts, read your body’s signals for what’s true, and reject misaligned goals without explaining. 

And we're start practical and tangible: curate your space, make swifter decisions, and use beauty as fuel for a thriving nervous system.

TRUTH becomes the magnet. We explore the difference between grounded presence and the proving impulse that feels loud, edgy, and unhealed. 

Expect tools to spot triggers as mirrors, rewrite interpretations, and choose responses that reflect your truest self—not your conditioning. 

And we touch on why hyper-independence blocks receiving, and how joy functions is strategic rebellion in a heavy news cycle. 

Listen and you’ll leave with clear questions to guide discernment, a fresh lens on “alignment,” and practical steps to design an environment that magnetizes the truest and most fullfilling life for you.

If this resonated, follow the show, share it with a friend, and leave a quick review. Want deeper support? Book a consult through the link in the description and let’s see if we’re a fit for one-to-one work.

Hit the plus sign at the top of this podcast to follow the show and share an episode with a friend.For a daily touch point, follow me on Instagram @coach.with.holly or TikTok @coachwithholly
For more resources and offers, visit coachwithholly.com
If you want to get coached by me, >> BOOK A CONSULT << so we can talk about working together.

Transcript

Quit Manifesting, Start Receiving

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Today we're talking about why you should quit manifesting immediately. And it's not for the reason you might think. Welcome to the Magnetic Mindset podcast, where spirituality, psychology, and philosophy meet to make you your most magnetic self. If you feel like you have achieved success on paper, but are craving a deeper meaning and a life that feels alive, keep listening. The show is hosted by me, your coach, Holly Pendergast. Let's get into it. Manifestation has been branded as something that you can do to create something you want. And the issue with this is not that you can't create what you want, it's that you are already as powerful as a manifester as you will ever be in your entire life because you are already manifesting everything around you. This can make you feel extremely frustrated. I know for me, this was like kind of a bubble pop moment where I was like, what? All I've been doing is studying manifestation, how to create new thoughts and feelings and blah, blah, blah. And as true as that is, when you think about creating something, it's gonna cost you a certain amount of effort and momentum building initiation, which is going from zero to one. Going from zero to one, going from nothing to something is the hardest fucking thing you will ever have to do. However, you have already gone from zero to one simply by being born, by existing in this world. You do not have to create the skill of manifestation. You are already creating things in your life. You are already vibrating at a certain frequency in your body, in your soul, in your energy state right now. You have attracted and created what I mean by attraction is manifested to come true, to come physical, even, to make happen. You are already doing that. So you don't have to make yourself exercise this muscle, so to speak, to manifest something new. Rather, what is actually meant for you, what your true desires are, those things are already trying to get to you. What people misunderstand is we think we have to bring things to us and get in the right frequency to get the right thing so that it comes to you. No. It's rather actually allowing the work is actually decluttering and removing the beliefs that are keeping you from receiving the thing that you actually desire. So here's some things that I see in the world and in my clients and even in myself. We in our society are taught to desire certain things. This could be physical, tangible, it could be a prescribed life, like, you know, picket fence 2.5 kids, right? If those prescribed desires are not actually in alignment with your true desires, you will spend your life chasing something that's not actually authentically something that you actually give a fuck about and desire. So it will be, and you will be met with lots of resistance around those things. I hear this all the time where people are like, I've been looking for a relationship for years, or I've been in business trying for years. That means that's not actually your true desire. Cause if you wanted it, you would have it. You would have already created it in a massive way. Okay, now this might be extremely frustrating to hear. I understand, because I went through a whole tantrum when I heard this. But I want to encourage you to listen to this and instead choose to see this from a place of liberation, of liberating you from the need to chase or create something that's not actually your true desire. So, how do we know what your actual desires are then? Right. And it's how do we know what is actually true for you about you that is waiting for you to receive right now? Okay. Let's try on this consciousness of everything is waiting for you to receive it instead of you having to go out and grab it from the world, from the universe, from the ethers. If you were to really examine your beliefs right now about money, relationships, business, your creativity, these accolades that you want, maybe. If you were to look at your beliefs about them, they will reveal why you don't live in alignment with the reality of those things. For example, the common one is money is hard to make. Money has to be earned by this hard, painstaking way, is what I know I've been taught. And relationships, it's so hard to find the one. Well, what if there's not just one? Okay. There's like all these big beliefs that are running in our conscious. And it's not so much that they are like unconscious in terms of being unaware, it's that you are thinking them without really knowing you're thinking them. And they are running your perspective in the background of your brain, in the background of your thoughts. And and you might not be conscious of some of them, but they are actually running the programming of your choices and how you move in the world. If you're believing, you know, being at your ideal weight is really hard. You have to make all these sacrifices, and that's going to come to fruition for you because that's what you're vibrating at in your frequency, in your body, in your belief system. And your wishes shall come true. Okay. Your thoughts and your beliefs are like the magic genie that wants to grant you any of the wishes. It doesn't care if the wishes are moral or if they're ethical. They just, the genie is just going to say, okay, that's your wish. Boom, there you go. There you got it. It's not going to ask you any of those questions. Your mind is not a good manager, as they say. It's a servant. Your brain is a servant to whatever you are consciously believing. And if you aren't looking at your beliefs frequently and really taking a deep dive into, okay, I was taught this belief at this age from maybe this teacher, this student, or this family member, or I learned this through experience of whatever it is, you're not actually examining them. They are running the show at a very deep level. And every time you become even more successful, you create something new or even more beautiful in your life, these beliefs will come up because there's a new layer of them for you to uncover every time you grow. Okay. It's like a tree at dirt level. As much as you grow up, you're also growing down, and those roots are being revealed at the bottom. The deeper the roots, the higher the tree, right? So you are growing both spiritually, emotionally, and maybe even uncovering more trauma that you didn't know you had, and you didn't know how deep a belief went until you really grew. So that brings me to my point that your beliefs are creating everything around you. Now, I like to think about this in an internal way as well, like your internal natural personality or your mood state of like how you frequently feel. Yes, that's a manifestation of how you think and feel for sure. And your experiences and your thoughts about those experiences and if you've reframed them or not to serve you or not. Okay. But let's look at this in a very physical, tangible way. If you are in your home, or if you're not home right now, picture your home. Every single item that you have was either bought by you and brought into your home. It was gifted to you and now it's in your home, or somebody in your household bought it or received it and brought it into your home. Otherwise, it wouldn't exist, right? It wouldn't be, or rather, it might exist, but it wouldn't be inside of your home. Okay. So let's take a couch, for example. A couch is something that you chose and you put it inside your living room. At some point, that was an idea. That couch was not yours, and you manifested it by having the idea of, hey, I want a couch, or hey, I want a new couch, or I want this particular couch. And it came into fruition. You manifested it. Okay. It's not that it appeared out of thin air. It kind of did because if you think about ideas, where do they live? In our minds, but they are in thin air for a moment, right? They're suspended in space before it comes into your house. It's a thought, it's an idea, it's an exploration of an experience that you want to have for yourself. You are already manifesting everything. So, what are you currently manifesting in your life? Are you wanting a shift? You don't have to hate something to change it. If I were to tell past me something when I was little, when I was five years old, I wish I would have told myself, hey, you don't have to hate something to change it. If this um relationship, if this friendship, if this item of clothing, if you don't like it, if you don't want it, want it in your life, you can let it go. You don't have to keep it out of the sake of gravity, right? If you don't get rid of something in your closet, it will stay there because gravity will keep it in place. If you don't actually consciously want something, it's okay to let it go. You don't have to hate it or it doesn't have to be not serving a purpose. You could just say, I don't want it. Okay. And this is where I see the smartest of people hyper-intellectualize their decisions about what's next for them. They think about why they don't want this anymore. They look at it from 360 degrees of why don't I want this? This used to work. Can I change it? Can I pivot? Can I adjust it? Instead of deciding, hey, this doesn't work for me anymore, I am going to grieve it and then release it. I've talked about this in other podcasts, the ideas of revving and releasing and the constant letting go of things that we just no longer desire. We don't even have to take a paragraph to justify it. We get to just simply move on without explanation. And in relationships, I do think because there's two people engaging in a relationship, that you don't have to over-justify and you don't have to over-explain. You can simply state what you want. But I get this in our culture and especially in the dating world, like you don't have to explain yourself. You just move on, like you don't owe them any responsibility to change their feelings about how you feel. And yes, I do kind of see that. And at the same time, I do think as humans, we do owe each other. If this is a person you want to be, this person I want to be, the communication of honesty of, hey, this is where I'm at. And it's even I'm concerned about how you are going to feel about it. And I have compassion for you. And this is not particularly a fun conversation to have. But I do want to express this. Now, that is a very mature relationship that you manifest from your wavelength of how emotionally deep you are. And if you also meet somebody who is also at that same kind of consciousness. Now, I don't believe everybody deserves that kind of conversation. It's a very intimate conversation. And the only the most spiritually advanced and mature people, I think, can have that honest communication and receive it with grace and love, even though you may be parting. Okay. Now that's my little tangent on relationships and people that people kind of letting go and releasing. But with things, with decisions in your business, with um choices that you're making in your life, you don't have to overexplain it to yourself. You just get to make that decision from a place of this is my fuck yes and this is a fuck no because it's a it's a meh. It's a I don't really care about this as much. That means it's time to let it go. What if you only surround yourself with things and items? This is what I do in my life physically, is if it's not a full body hell yes, it's a no and I release it. So I'm constantly in a state of discernment. Am I going to keep this, love it, appreciate it, or is it time to let it go? Because when I get to be ruthless with what I surround myself with, because you know, as humans, we don't have full control of the universe, but I do have full control of my environment, what I surround myself with. Okay. So I am very picky and choosy with what stays. I create an environment, and not everybody has ability to do this, but where can you do this? Is it in your closet? Is it in your home office? Is it in your wherever you have personal in your car? Wherever you have personal decision power, be ruthless about it. Because when you are in your space, that is your space of creation. And how you surround yourself for certain things is going to decide your emotional state, right? It's it's going to be a major contributor to your emotional state. So if you are surrounded by beauty, you are going to be naturally more creative, relaxed, and in a state of calm where you can create the highest potential you can create from your highest potential. You will come up with new ideas because you will be inspired to create something new. You will be able to access a new paradigm and a new way of thinking that is innovative, that is creation. When you are uninspired by your space, you are dueling your capacity to create, to make something new, to be a thought leader, to uh be brave and confident enough to share your opinion and your belief radically and honestly, and from a place of genuine openness that is going to heal one another, that is going to offer new perspective that creates that ripple effect in the world to other people that are designed to hear your message exactly how you want to fucking say it. You know, when you've heard something a million times and you're like, I understood that, but I didn't really fully get it until you said it that way. That is what I'm talking about. That's your audience, that's your person. They are supposed, this is like why friends work when you have chemistry like that. It's like, I needed to hear it that way, or I needed the joke to be told in this certain way for it to land for me in this way that I needed that tickles my humor, right? This is why we have favorite comedians or favorite musicians where we're like, oh my God, I've heard this beat before, but I didn't hear it until you said it that way. Even hearing a cover of a song, sometimes I'll hear a cover of a song and I'll be like, oh my God, I would have never experienced that song had I not heard it sung by her, right? So they bring out different emotions. You could be singing the same song with the same lyrics, but if you're hearing a different expression based on that person's energy, their frequency, you're gonna experience it totally different. That's you. When you are in your full uness and and the signature frequency that you vibrate at, that is when things start to come to you. That is when things start to blow up and manifest in physical ways around you. And it's not about stepping into becoming. And yes, even I use those words because it's how our brain can conceptualize these ideas, but it really is becoming by way of subtracting what is muddying up your frequency, what is muddying up who you are and what is true for you. This makes you so powerful when you really fully understand it and start to embody this information. And reminder that you are co-creating this with source. Okay, there isn't any separation in vibration. We are all human, we are all a part of the universe. We can't exist outside of the universe, right? We can't exist outside of Earth. And what is Earth? A planet. And what is a planet? A part of the solar system. What's the solar system? A part of, you know, so if you are fighting this idea and you're like, hey, this is woo-woo, hey, this is imaginary, remember that Wi-Fi is also a vibration. Remember that your telephone reaching a signal, a phone call is a vibration. Music that makes you move is a vibration. Tens units that you stick on your body and they do that vibration that heals your muscles or whatever the hell it does, that's vibration. Even those massage guns that vibrate into place, that's a vibration pulsating. What is a pulse? It's a vibration. So if you are wanting to magnetize, if you're like, this is 2020's sake, this is my year, step into the magnetic frequency, my three or six month coaching container. It's one-to-one work with me. It's weekly coaching and voxer support, which is a voice messaging app that we use so that you have contact throughout our time together. You are way better of a manifester than you even think you are. And I can't wait to show you how. We could talk about it on a free consult. The link is in the description. You, me, talk on Zoom. We see if we're a good fit for more work together. But this is what I do with my clients is help them see how, hey, you are already magnetizing and creating and manifesting these things. You are already powerful and help you remember your power and how and start to see how powerful you are. Because yes, you are. And if you want something different, you want to shift or you want to create something new, all you have to do is change your frequency. Step into the frequency that is truest to you. Remove the blockages. There is a constant flow of energy when you remove those clunky beliefs that are creating resistance really to this stream of consciousness that is always accessible to you. So I invite you to quit manifesting, quit trying and creating and doing all of these things that we do that we think are self-care and self-love. Like you get to actually step into it and be in it at any moment in time. Reminder that you have decision power. Who are you gonna be at any moment? How are you going to respond to this conversation? When you meet new people, how do you introduce yourself? How do you present yourself? Are you going to wear the thing you think you should wear? Are you going to present with your elevator pitch that is so manicured that it just sounds acceptable? Or are you going to show up as the disruptor, the breath of fresh air, the one that doesn't do what she should do, but that shows up as who she is. That is memorable. That leaves impact. That leaves an impression. That triggers people, good or bad. Whether they're you're going to trigger them and they're going to grow in an expansive way, or you're going to trigger them and they will come back to you later. Either way, you being yourself in a way that is thoughtful and out of love is where it's at. Now, I do have a sort of controversial take on this. There is such a thing as being too much. There is such a thing that rubs people the wrong way when you show up to something and you're trying to be your biggest, most magnetic, boldest self. That is coming from an unhealed place. When you are trying to be that, you know you are unhealed. And it's an energy of proving energy. It's a I'm stretching outside of my comfort zone and it feels very vulnerable and edgy. That is not what it feels like to be magnetic in my experience. It feels very sure of myself, calm. I don't have to speak loud. I don't have to speak over anybody. I don't need to grab attention because I'm vibrating at such a state where I feel so good and content and in like with myself. I like myself so deeply and how I feel in my body, and I'm sure of the value that I offer. It's what makes you attractive. That's what brings opportunities to you. There is no other choice when you're vibrating at that state for things to come to you. That's what it brings. Okay. Whatever you see in the world is not what is, it's how you see yourself. So if you are seeing something and it's very um triggering to you, ask yourself why. What are you projecting? What are you seeing? What is your interpretation? That is going to reveal to you who you are in that moment. And when you decide to see it differently, that's when you evolve. When you decide, hey, but there's another way to look at this. Hey, I don't need to go into my default reaction. Hey, I get to pause here. Hey, this is an opportunity for me to access that frequency that I want more of, that's more naturally me. Versus the version of me that is habitual that was taught to me, or maybe you are responding to something like one of your parents, and you're like, Oh my gosh, this is exactly what my dad would say. Now I'm saying it out loud. That is an reenactment of what you know and what is comfortable. It's not actually you. That is your performance or your mask that comes very easy because it's literally in your neuropathways, easy to access. It's already a known neuropathway. So becoming you is a major discovery process of, hey, what is baggage that was taught to me versus what do I actually believe to be true? And you'll know because it will feel calm and quiet in your body. It might even feel a little excitement. It'll feel true. It'll feel calm, relaxed, certain, grounded. When you're holding on to beliefs that are not yours, that are false, aka any of the thoughts that you're having that are keeping you from what you actually desire, like money is really hard to make, or um, the dating scene is horrible right now, or it's really hard to create business right now because the economy, all of those thoughts create some sort of vibration in your body, right? All of those thoughts I know for me make me feel like ugh, tired, agitated, irritated, heavy. And that's how I know, okay, time to look at them, release them if they don't serve me. And if I can find evidence of the contrary, why wouldn't I choose to think and feel that? Now it's not denying any of the facts. I don't suggest that because that's gonna make you delulu in a way that um is not gonna help you find your Sululu. Okay. But if you can stay grounded in all of it and be like, what are the facts? What are the circumstances? Okay, and now who do I want to be? How do I want to respond? What kind of thinking am I going to activate in myself? Because I can ignite that kind of thinking anyway and anytime that I want. When you recognize that and you are actively choosing it in your daily decisions, that is how you are magnetic. That is how you participate in your highest interest, is by being with yourself, asking yourself what is true, re-examining these thoughts. And this is exactly what I do in my coaching work. I've been thinking a lot about the state of the world right now and how we create something new together. Because it can be daunting to think about only you and what you can do. And as one singular human, you can, yes, move mountains sometimes, but it can feel very hard and overwhelming that I'm just one person, I can't do everything myself, and I can't change everything overnight. And this that's not ever how we were meant to move, right? We are in community, and in community, we have power to change the world, the politics, the whatever you are wanting for yourself in your life. So, how do we do that? Well, it does start with you, right? You gotta vibrate at a frequency that is true to you and joy. Joy is the rebellion. If you are feeling shitty, I want to say, I mean, find your own percentage, but if you're not feeling joy and vibrating at your highest level, at least 70% of the day, I want to offer that you get to be more protective of where your energy goes, of how you treat yourself and how you activate those feelings within you. Now, everybody is gonna have a different percentage. If you want to feel shitty 70% of the day and 30% good, cool. That's how certain days are. Okay. I'm not saying you have to live like permanently in 70% happiness, but if you are on this journey with me, know that you have more power over your personal state of being, even if it feels like the world is crashing down around you. You can find a way to either not engage and focus in the deep, dark depths of things and choose to make a joke out of it. That's a survival tactic, yes. And it also brings great relief and healing. And we need that in our world. For too much in the darkness, what does RuPaul say? He says something like, it will take you. You look at it too hard, you will become it. Do not stay too much in the darkness. The joy is the activation of the healing and the new paradigm shifting. Choose consciously how you surround yourself, choose constantly. Who am I going to be in this moment? What do I surround myself with? Who are the people that are going to come with me and propel me forward? And who are the people who are not going to come with me? Grieve about that. And remember where your personal choices are. Your personal choice is limited by design. If we had full more control of the universe, our human brains wouldn't have capacity to handle that. So we have a very limited capacity to control what we can control. And I recommend doing this starting in a place that's easy, your home, a personal space where you can design it in a way that inspires you, brings you beauty and joy, and engages your senses in a way that tickles your fancy. Spoil yourself with those little joys that you may be seeing as frivolous right now. Can you bring in more pleasure? And it could be free. It doesn't have to be something that you buy. Totally could be. I love things and I love finding new things and treasure hunting and thrifting and vintage shopping, and all of that does bring me immense joy. And this can be rearranging something in your home to make it more efficient and more beautiful for yourself. But it starts with you quit the manifestation. Quit trying to create from a place of deep desire and longing because it's coming from the lack energy. The lack energy of not having something is going to create a certain level, a width even of desperation. Desperation never creates anything good in our world. It makes us act in ways that we regret and it makes us come across as creepy and urgent when really it's an activation of our nervous system. That if we stop, pause, regulate our nervous system, and come into community with each other, there is no need for that desperate feeling. You can lean on each other, you can ask for help, support. That is what other humans are here for. That's what your community is here for. And if you don't have a community that you feel like you can reach out to, is that your own hyper-independence? Is there somebody that you feel even a little bit comfortable being more vulnerable and asking for help? Do it. Start stretching your nervous system by asking for help from somebody that you feel most comfortable asking for help for, from, with, and start there. That is what I have for you. Quit manifesting. You don't need to become a more powerful manifester. That's like saying, how do I become more of a human? Well, you already are human. So you don't have to keep trying to be more human because you already are. That's like saying, how can a cat be more like a cat? A cat is already a cat. They don't have to become more cat-like if they're already catting, right? So drop the desire to become a more powerful manifestor because you're already manifesting. It's just a choice now of discernment. Is this serving me? Is this what I prefer? Is this in alignment with how I've evolved? Is this taking me to where I would like to go? You're just asking yourself, where do I want to go next? Who am I now? Is this still serving me? And if you have questions or if you're wanting to work together, reach out to me. Everything is in the description. You can book a consult. You can find my social media there too. Okay, talk soon. Bye. Thanks for listening. And if you've enjoyed today's episode, hit the plus sign at the top of this podcast to follow the show and share an episode with a friend. For a daily touch point, follow me on Instagram at coach.with.holly or TikTok at coach with Holly. For more resources and offers, visit coachwithholly.com. And if you want to get coached by me, book a consult so we could talk about working together. Use a link in my podcast description below. Talk soon.