Women in Industry #5: Tami Blay

Diversity and inclusivity are vital for the industry's growth, acknowledging the crucial importance of promoting gender diversity and inclusivity.

Hosted by Marie Tyler and powered by OrangeDoor, in partnership with IPSA and DARE - the Women In Industry series shines a spotlight on the journeys, perspectives and impact of women across the industry.

Episode 5: Tami Blay – K4 Security

From Survival to Leadership: A Different Path into Security

A personal and honest conversation about an unconventional journey into the industry and how lived experience can shape leadership and purpose.

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:30

That's crazy because I felt the same when I met you. Thanks very much. When I heard your story at International Women's Day for Ips's event, obviously, obviously, for me personally, it was very, very mooed, very inspired by you and your story. And both uh Satira and I were going to be talking about who we should interview, or an obvious person we needed to interview. So I'm really pleased that you are here with us today and able to share your story more widely because if people weren't in the room, they won't be aware. You have come on a journey, and a lot of people that we've been talking to here have all been, oh I fell into security, or I wasn't really applying for something, oh I just kind of but we picked a title for yours for From Survival to Leadership, a different path to security for the video. You know, I just read that, but you know, brain like a sieve. Um tell us who who Tammy is, or or tell us from yours, tell me the start, how you got in. And honestly, you told me the truth, and I personally think that's okay, but it's up to you how you want to sell it.

SPEAKER_00 1:42

Okay, let's go there. Um, so the main point was I wanted to get into security. My mum was in security first. I admired her, she used to come home and tell me all these wonderful stories about how she helped this person that day and this person, and I just see how the pure joy it brought to her life. Um, I was 17, sort of going a bit off the rails again at my other job. I was at Thor Park, um, and it was a lot of drink, drugs, partying, and my mum just said, enough, you're gonna come work with me. So I ended up at uh Wembley Arena with my mother. So I've been babysat as well. So she got you in, and but you had a natural kind of vibe for wanting it anyway. I worked one shift and I absolutely fell in love. I just loved the fact that we could help. You get to watch incredible shows, and obviously, 17-year-olds having loved meeting famous people, and I just thought it was quite you. I worked out you could have a high life without actually having to be high. So it was quite an experience for me to go, oh actually, you don't need drugs and alcohol to give you that high. You can be high off life and actually enjoy life without it.

SPEAKER_01 2:53

And I suppose when people are maybe um whether they're stuck in a rut or you're in your own bubble or whatever, you only know what you know. And so until someone shows you another way or you get to, like you say, experience or see something, how would you know?

SPEAKER_00 3:04

Yeah, and then obviously I spoke about it before where I got into security, I really enjoyed it, but then I quickly learned um it was a hard space for women to be in. So I kind of felt like I was back in my past where I had all these men saying this and you can't do this, you're a woman, why are you dressed like that? The wolf whistling and yeah, can't be security, you look like Barbie. And I just used to think, well, I'm gonna get my badge and Barbie's gonna throw you out.

SPEAKER_01 3:33

I'll prove you wrong. Well, and actually Barbie's smashing it now as well, isn't she? I mean, look at the movies, all that right. Um so I suppose that the the meat of this topic really is a very difficult one because the story that you have so boldly shared, um as I said that day, really just want to hear you now. I suppose in this recording platform for a much bigger audience to be able to get insight to the resilience and strength and the power of you as a woman of where you come to now, if you're comfortable, share it.

SPEAKER_00 4:10

I'm I'm very open, I think of I've had a lot of feedback going, oh you're so brave, and but why are you saying this? Um I'm I'm not ashamed nor anything. I didn't do anything wrong. I was eight years old when it started with me, and it was a family member, and it was sexual assault, so it was constant for four years. Um and I've said it where at the time it was you know it's a bit odd. I'm I'm a baby, I was so young, and I didn't really understand what was going on, and it wasn't until that person got arrested because other people came forward, and I think there was about 52 victims that had come forward. Um, and obviously by then I was 12, still not understanding the world. I had a very lengthy interview with the police, and I it was it was hard because I had to relearn about boundaries, what is right, what isn't right, what was so wrong about it, and then you get kind of I was lucky because the protective services, I had so many from different places be the family liaison officer that was helping the family, and I had my own like counsellors and things that helped me, and there was one counsellor who literally stuck by my side because not only with the abuse there was drugs involved as well. So I was hooked on cocaine at the age of 10. Um so when he got arrested, obviously my supply went with it. So then I was doing the withdrawal from everything at 12 by myself. My mum didn't know absolutely anything, um, and I went completely just I went off the rails. Um but it was the protective services that really got me back on, and this all I had was that one woman, her name was Caroline, I'll never forget her name, and she just stopped by my side and I was a nightmare. I was not a nice person, I was angry with the world, not understanding because obviously when it happened and everything came out, I was removed from school because it came out in the papers, and then there was a lot of bullying and this and that, and you know, instead of them getting in trouble, me and my siblings got removed because it just solved the problem. Um and back then there wasn't really any support at schools of how to deal with these situations, so we got removed, so then I had to be homeschooled, which I hated, so then I just felt completely isolated from the world. Um but this this one lady from Protective Services, she was amazing. She got me into college and she really taught me you can wake up in the morning and choose to be a victim, or you can wake up in the morning and choose to be a survivor. And I'm quite lucky because my siblings are not on the same path as me. And I think I look at them sometimes and I think this is why I'm doing what I'm doing because I don't I don't want to be a victim. I want to be able to lead and help girls and sort of say to girls, listen, it's not the end of the world, it's happened, but you can survive, you can become incredible leaders of this world. And I I went on to have three lovely, beautiful gals, um, and I just want to be the biggest leader for them, really. I want to show them, like, yeah, listen, yes, it's taboo and no one wants to talk about it, but I'll happily get on a new platform and say, yes. I was a victim of abuse, and here I am today. And I just want to help other people now. So after all that with the security, it was I got the yum for the men. I was like, why are you all here telling me I can't do this? This is what I want to, I want to help people. So when I met my husband and we started K4. Yeah, tell me about that beat. Oh my god, he was amazing. I thought he was the most beautiful man ever when I met him at QPR.

SPEAKER_01 7:52

You thought he was, is he not anymore?

SPEAKER_00 7:54

You know, he's getting on a bit now. But no, I met him at QPR actually. I was working as a little uh SAA at the stand, and he was there with his company. And I just thought he was incredible. And I remember we spent a year, I was trying to find him a wife actually. I was like, I'm gonna get you a wife, and then in the end, I was like, got to know him and thought angry. Yeah, I have somebody. But I didn't really trust anyone because I just thought I I kind of picked what my mum did and what my sister done, and that was no relationship, stay away from men, you won't have any issues in life. But I think he reopened this world up to me that not every man I like that, and there are some good men out there. So I was quite lucky to find them. So we got together, had a couple of kids, kept having more kids. Um love and behold, they were all girls, and I just remember really sad. I remember feeling really sad at the time that when they said it was a girl, I cried. I said, I don't want to bring a girl into this world because and my husband was so shocked, he was like, What are you doing? It's a blessing. And I was like, but it's not blessed to be a woman in this world, it's really hard. You need some really thick skin to be able to deal with so many issues that women go through. Um but he's very supportive and K4's come a long way. Yes. And I love being able to say, you know, I'm a CEO of a very, very amazing company, and we do so much for women as well. We do do free SIA courses for girls and try and encourage. And I've just started working with a foundation and working with the violence and abuse against women. So we're gonna be doing some, because we have a training centre, I'm gonna start doing some workshops and things. So I want to get like the local cadet girls and university girls involved that they can come down and learn where help is, how to spot the signs, how to help other people if you think they're going through something. Because when growing up, I didn't have any of that. I didn't, there was nothing there, and if it was there, I didn't know about it. Yeah. So I just want to be that kind of voice to be able to say to every young woman in this world, say there is so much help out there, and there's so much women that we will sit, listen, and help. But it's just trying to get that out. That's my mission now.

SPEAKER_01 9:58

So we need to help with that ripple effect. We do need to get word out. Your obvious, I was my next question was going to be what steps do you take here, which you've just said quite clearly, uh, not just other organisations, but actually leading the way and doing your own programmes as well, which I think is amazing. Yeah. I spoke to a couple of other um companies during this event and talking to them about so what are you actively doing then? And what I'm finding is some of them are going, oh it'd be great if there was this thing, or it'd be great if, or why isn't anyone doing whereas you're actually taking action yourself?

SPEAKER_00 10:30

Yeah, that that was the whole my thing last year was I started sort of I met Satya and she really got me involved in all these different organisations that again I've been in this industry for nearly 16 years and I never knew existed. I kind of hid up my office and did my little events and did my work. But I didn't know there's a whole world out there that there's so much out there for women to get support within the businesses, and there's so much extra to it, and then I was just like, right, how do I help? How what can I do? And that's great signing up to this membership or signing up and ticking this box or turning up to this meeting. My thing was I need to do more. And I said to my husband, I said, we have the training centre, we have the space, I have the trainers, I'm a qualified trainer as well, so I can do all of it myself. I don't need to rely on anyone. I can't sit there and moan about it when I have the platform, the space, and the knowledge to do it. So this year is the do-in year, we're gonna do it.

SPEAKER_01 11:34

This is so exciting. I'm excited for you, and I'm glad that Satya, like you say, like when I listen to you talk, you're now doing what she was doing to help you, like, in a sense of, oh right, so there's a thing. Now you're the one doing the thing, and then there'll be other women that will see that and be inspired by that.

SPEAKER_00 11:49

That's why I've paired up with her. Like, we just and this is the one thing I'd love for the industry to do is work together. I I don't know why.

SPEAKER_01 11:58

Too many silos, right?

SPEAKER_00 12:00

Yeah, why why are we not together? And I get a bit confused in politics because I get in trouble and I'm like, I don't understand nor do I care for it. I'm like, it is listen, I'm everyone's friend, and I just think if everyone could just come together, we could do such incredible things with the knowledge and the resources that we could all pull together. And that's one thing I want to conquer as well. That'd be great. Because you're gonna be the one that glues us all back together again.

SPEAKER_01 12:24

Hopefully. I will try. I'm totally down. No, and I'm very much like yourself, uh, try not to get too involved in that for there are certain things, but then equally there are some things that have happened that are, you know, probably need to be rectified in certain areas or whatever. But at the end of the day, leading by example, which is what you're doing right now and taking action, not just talking about what could happen, but actually doing it. This big fucking oh. F-bom! Uh that's yeah, because you're making feel so bad. It was you and not me. Oh well. Crap. Um, no, I mean, look, you are a massive inspiration. Um, I love that you're already doing that. I hope that I can come and experience some of this as well. I want to put it on. Oh, 100%. Whatever you'll let me.

SPEAKER_00 13:09

You wait. You you wait to see what's coming. I'm so excited. There's so much, and I can't say right now, but there's so much coming, and it's horrible as well, because I want to tell the world. That's I can't tell you. So, what you just said, that's not even it, there's more.

SPEAKER_01 13:23

There's more. Of course there is. Yeah, you're like the bug moment, you're like, there's more to come, it's gonna be great. Oh my god, well, this is exciting. Yeah, right. Well, then I think then when these next things get announced, watch this space. Yeah, definite. Oh my god. Well, thank you so much. Thank you. What a legend. Right, let's go and get a coffee. Yes, please, or something stronger, we'll see.