Season 2 Episode 2 Social Cues, Frenemies & Vacation Prep

Hi Ya’ll!  Welcome to Still Stella – Living Life Sarcastically

 This podcast comes with a Trigger Warning: Extreme Sarcasm & Mild Emotional Violence

 Today we’re talking about missed social cues, frenemies, and why I need a cruise before I commit a felony.

 First of all — I am a runaway train of procrastination. Not “oh I’ll do it tomorrow” procrastination. I mean that train is 10 miles down the track and I’m back there in flip-flops waving a sweet tea yelling, “WAITTTT!”  Don’t leave without me LOL

 Which is exactly why I’m writing this podcast at the last possible minute and the same week we’re leaving for our honeymoon cruise.

Transcript

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Welcome to Still Stella Living Life Sarcastically Sarcastically Hi y'all. Welcome to Still Stella Living Life Sarcastically. This podcast comes with a trigger warning, extreme sarcasm, and mild emotional violence. Today we're talking about missed social cues, frenemies, and why I need a cruise before I commit a felony. First of all, I'm a runaway train of procrastination. Not oh I'll do it tomorrow. I mean that train is ten miles down the track, and I'm back there in flip flops waving a sweet tea, yelling, wait, don't leave without me. Which is exactly why I'm writing this podcast at the last possible minute, and the same week we're leaving for our honeymoon cruise. Yes, I did say honeymoon. I've been married for a minute and just never got around to an actual honeymoon. You know, life, bills, responsibilities, trying not to stab each other. Just a lot of things going on. We just celebrated another anniversary. It's been a few years since our lovely pirate wedding. We've survived yet another year without anyone walking the plank or a full pirate sword fight over who gets the shit and the gold. Not for lack of trying, because I've challenged hubby to a sword fight more than once. He scoffs and says someone could get hurt, and of course my response is always yep, you That's romance at this age. Our love language includes lots of sarcasm and harassment. I'm sure you could have guessed that already. Now we're headed on a cruise to the Caribbean. Sun, water, rum, yes, yummy rum, the nectar of the gods. I'm extremely excited, but I'm also concerned, because being trapped on a ship in close quarters with cabinets and drawers, and my hubby, I might have to duct tape everything shut just to watch him struggle for once. Let him experience minor inconveniences character development. This will be the first year, first vacation in years that I'm unplugged from work completely. No emails, no quick questions, no fixing other people's stupidity. I cannot wait to be free, if only for a week. My Keith will just have to fumble through without me. I've shown him everything, and it's in his hands now. Bless his heart. He will need all the help he can get, and I will not be available at all. Hope he can figure it out. If not, I'm sure we'll be there. It'll all be there when I get back. I sure hope not. Now we just wait to see what I come back to. Or do I come back? Maybe I accidentally missed the boat home. Maybe Stella starts a new island side life island side with a mojito and no password resets. Doesn't that sound absolutely amazing? I could really get used to island life. No stress, just an old broad enjoying a life of leisure. I'd be happy just fumbling through life with no direction. Now speaking of people fumbling through life, let's talk about those folks who miss all the social cues. You know the ones I'm talking about. You're given every single every signal short of sky riding stop in the sky, and they just keep going like a runaway train. They can't be stopped and honestly have no clue what's going on. It must be peaceful being that oblivious, having absolutely no clue at all. The question really is, are they seriously oblivious? Or are they just playing dumb while taking advantage? That seems like a real possibility, and probably more likely. Either way, your mama failed you completely, and you should consider getting some help with your shortcomings. It is not cute or endearing to be rude or ignorant. I just can't anymore with people like this. I've spent many years being a good friend, showing up, supporting them, and being completely loyal. Unfortunately, no matter how good you are to others, you will realize some people are only seasonal, some are narcissists, and purely opportunists. Some sit there smiling in your face while updating their group chat about you. These are the worst ones. This is why my circle continues to get smaller these days. Not because I'm bitter, not at all. I've become selective with who I spend my time. I'm honestly relieved not to have to maintain pointless relationships with people that are truly not worth my time. You do you. Just do it over there, somewhere. Down in the south we're raised with good old fashioned southern hospitality. But don't confuse sweet with stupid. We are definitely not stupid. We will absolutely sit our sweet tea, let you finish your nonsense, smile politely, and hit you with a bless your heart, which, if you don't know, is southern for. I see exactly who you are. Or in more common terms, we can't be bothered with your bullshit. Karma handles the rest. It is not my job to fix you, raise you or educate you. I will simply find the nearest exit and high tail it out of there as fast as I can. But my tribe, the real ones, they are my family. Closer than blood sometimes, because let's be honest, as we all know, who needs enemies when you got family? We build our own tribes at this age, and some of those people are absolutely irreplaceable. Others are just there to remind you why boundaries exist in the first place. Now back to this cruise prep chaos I'm in the middle of trying to accomplish. Besides packing, there's the planning for everything on the ship and whatever excursions we might want to try. The list is long and it's a lot to consider. Why do cruises have so many options? There's fine dining, spa packages, and excursions that cost as much as a used Honda. Wanna dress up? Or do you want to belly up to the bar in a bathing suit? Who wants to schedule relaxation like it's a dentist appointment? That seems to completely defeat the purpose of relaxation. What if I choose absolutely nothing? What if I decide to be nothing more than a sloth on Benadryl sitting next to the pool? I plan to sit in a deck chair, sit mojitos, and stare at the ocean like I just escaped witness protection. No schedule, no fixing things for everybody. And most of all, no overthinking every little detail. Just existing. Sounds amazing to me. Meanwhile, as I prep, I'm over here deep cleaning the house like the Queen of England is stopping by while I'm gone. Why are we like this? It's only a week. The yard will survive, and the dust will wait. It's not going anywhere. It'll all be right here when I get back. The only real priority to worry about is the fur babies. They're gonna have their own special vacation while we're gone. Tutu is coming to stay with them, bringing her handsome prince of a dog with the most beautiful face you've ever seen. Our house is about to turn into Studio 54 for dogs. Let the party begin. We don't have to worry about our pups becoming anxious when they see suitcases in our house, because when our pups see suitcases, they don't panic. They look at us like hurry up, don't forget anything. Two two streets are better. Y'all are just our everyday staff. We prefer her. Damn freeloaders. They eat, they nap, and they judge. And honestly, that is life goals. This is what I plan to do on the cruise as well. This much needed vacation will help us reset so we can come back to the daily grind with more enthusiasm and maybe help us cope a little better going forward. So as you go forward in your life, remember the following pay attention to those social cues, protect your real circle of friends, book the trip. Everyone needs time off and drink the rum. Life is too short, so enjoy it while you can. And if someone's playing dumb while disrespecting ya, smile sweetly and tell them to bless their heart. Then you go upgrade your tribe and cut out the ones not worthy of your time anymore, because life is way too short not to have fun with those that matter the most. Remember, I say again, probably because brain fog made me forget I already said it. But marry your lobster, drink the rum, and hug the friends who secretly don't who don't secretly root against you. Thank y'all for listening. If you enjoyed today's chaos, follow or subscribe so you don't miss next week's episode and share it with your real ones. Thank you for listening to Still Stella Living Life Sarcastically.