JORDIN TOOTOO | Ice Guardians Ep 38

Brett Hull and guest host Tony Twist are joined in studio by former NHL forward Jordin Tootoo this week. Toots tells the guys about growing up in Nunavut playing pond hockey and what it was like making the transition to organized hockey before getting drafted into the WHL. Toots also talks about some of the coaches and teammates who helped get him through some of the lowest points in his life. Twister asks Toots about the influence his brother had on his life and his career and Jordin talks to the guys about how he took those lessons and is sharing them with others across Canada now. Hully talks to Toots about the timing of making the documentary and what went into it. The guys talk about walking the road back from addiction and what that looked like for Jordin. Toots teaches the guys about hunting with the other members of the Inuit starting at a young age.

Ice Guardians, presented by Siteman Cancer Center, comes to you from the Window World Studios.

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Transcript

SPEAKER_03 0:31

Welcome back. Another episode of Ice Guardians from the Window World Studios brought to you by Seitman Cancer Center with my handsome co-host Tony Twist and our guest of honor, Jordan Tutu. Thank you for coming.

SPEAKER_01 0:56

My pleasure, man. Yeah, it's uh an awesome morning.

SPEAKER_03 1:00

Got a lot of things going on right now with the uh documentary, uh, which I understand is fantastic. Um I think you know documentaries are really becoming uh a hit, you know. You know, it's a a quicker grab than having to sit and watch a full movie and um but I want to get you started on like growing up and becoming a hockey star. I want to hear the story.

SPEAKER_01 1:37

Yeah, I mean I grew up in Rankin Inlet Nunavut, which is uh a very remote community along the Hudson Bay in the Arctic of Canada. And uh, you know, when you have 10 months of winter uh up there, there's a lot of ice to be uh skated on. And uh my my father Barney was a hockey player himself, so he kind of introduced us to the game when we were pretty young, and um and then yeah, my journey it just uh I played pawn hockey till I was 14 years old. Um yeah, because I was good there can't be a whole bunch of organized leagues. No, not not one organized no, so I was kind of get a bunch of the boys together, throw your sticks in the middle, and and off we went. And um yeah, I just learned to enjoy the game, you know. When as a young kid, it wasn't it wasn't about the X's and O's and you know, the systems, and uh it was all about being a kid and enjoying the game. And um yeah, by the time I was 12, 13 years old, you know, I was going to random tournaments in the south. And um hold on.

SPEAKER_04 2:52

When you say I know I I heard you reference the south. Now, Jordan's idea of the south is Brandon. Okay. Now that's north, north can be that's the south, but we'll just so we can verify the south was you know, there's the line is Brandon. That doesn't look, it's not the South.

SPEAKER_01 3:09

Well, to me, the South was yellow knife, Northwest territory and that was straight west of where I'm from. But um, you know, we we um a lot of us kids who grew up in these remote communities have never experienced the city life. And uh I think the the first time I ever flew to Winnipeg, um I I thought it was like the the New York City, right? They would this all these high-rises and street lights and uh you know people everywhere that I didn't recognize or knew who who they were because where I come from, everyone knows everybody, right? Like in the small town, and uh it just was it was scary, right? For for a little Enook boy 14 at this time going to Winnipeg for a hockey tournament. Um I was a wrecking ball, so uh my name got noticed noticed pretty pretty damn quick. Uh I I attribute that to playing pawn hockey, right? Because I played with my brother and all these older kids, so I had to stand my ground from uh from a young age. And uh and I give a lot of credit to all my buddies I grew up with uh who were hard on me. Um, you know, at the time we all know when you kind of feel like you're getting bullied, you know, every man has a breaking point. And um you learn to to stand your ground pretty damn quick, you know, when you're playing in these uh pawn hockey games, you know, it's kind of like I remember when I was in Chicago, uh Joe Quinville yelled on the bench, all right, boys, time to go play Hudson Bay hockey, Hudson Bay rules out there, and boom, it was just like this little boy in me just here we go. Yeah, here we go. And uh, but yeah, um went to a few tournaments in the south, and uh next thing you know, I got drafted by the Brandon Weekings in the WHL. And I had no clue what the depth was. What age were you at this point? I was 14 years old. When you were drafted? When I was drafted, yeah, into the the bantam draft. Um, and so yeah, and then Mr. Kelly McCrimin called me and was like, Welcome to the Brandon Weekings. And I look on the map, okay, where's Brandon, Manitoba? Oh, it's by Winnipeg. Great, you know, kind of close to home and and all that. But yeah, it was uh quite the experience. I mean, looking back in hindsight, um, I think who would have ever thought, you know, a kid from Nunavut um breaking trail, and uh here I am hanging out with you, you legends.

SPEAKER_03 5:53

Well, so uh I've I heard the story about, you know we all know your your grit and toughness out there, and I would imagine uh it started when you were shoveling snow as a kid, and uh you had to look out for some predators.

SPEAKER_01 6:13

Yes, yeah. I mean, I mean, you guys know how harsh winters can be in the north, right?

SPEAKER_04 6:20

And uh I think No, we can only we can only see and and report. No, we don't know. We understand, but understand we don't know. Yeah, no firsthand there.

SPEAKER_01 6:31

You know, growing up in these isolated communities, you learn inadvertently to become mentally strong just by your surroundings. And uh, you know, ever since I was born, my dad was uh, you know, he was he was born and raised out on the land. Um, so it was a big um uh thing in our family to to make sure we are connected with the land and uh using the land as our our safety place. And uh and and still to this day, you know, it's it's a place where I'm able to go and unwind and and you know, whether it's grabbing a fishing rod and going by a river or just going for a nature walk, you know, uh to me uh finding your tundra is is ultimately where every person needs to be able to live comfortable. Finding a place where you can go and unwind and let the noise just shut off, right? Like throughout my hockey career at the end of the season, I would go home and spend two weeks out on the land and just you know, no cell phone, no screen, just just being. And um, I think that really helped me throughout my pursuit to you know making it to the big leagues is uh that that mental toughness, right?

SPEAKER_04 7:49

Because I need it well, because you're playing the game of hockey when you're having a polar bear that could be stalking you while you're shoveling snow. Why would you be afraid of anything else? Well, that's the thing.

SPEAKER_01 8:00

Like, I you know, guys would ask me, dudes, like, how do you how come you're not you know scared of? I mean, I I you know, you we all have fears of something, right? But like but a lot of us, you know, hockey players, you you don't show that, right? Because the back back in the day it was, you know, you men don't show weakness. You know, a lot of us grew up in in a time where uh, you know, mom and dad said this and you did it. Right. There's no questioning, or you know, that's the way it was. And uh, you know, I would guys would be like, Man, how do you go up against these big guys? And I would say to them, like, fuck, like when you're waking up at six in the morning to go walk and shovel snow, not knowing what's around the corner, whether it's a polar bear or you know, a pack of wolves or wolverine, you learn to overcome fear because uh, you know, these little moments in your life, when you look back, um, you know, they help you pursue, right? And and in today's generation, fuck, it's these kids are are weak mentally. Very like uh, I mean, I'm gonna call a spade a spade. Like it's uh it's it's hard to watch, you know, when when you know the potential, but that fear of failure. And I tell kids, you know, the hell with stepping in with one foot. You gotta jump in with two feet, what whatever the outcome is, uh take it and run with it, you know. And if you're gonna make the same mistakes over and over again, that's on you. Yeah, isn't that the truth? Like that's that's the way life is, right? Earning, earning your keep, earning your spot, you know, like we all had to do it. Um and I understand, you know, this the game has evolved, the game has changed a little bit, and you know, society will too, it'll keep evolving. And in order for an individual to to mature and to to grow, you have to go through hardships, right? Like life, life ain't fucking easy. People will look at me when I'm doing my public speaking, and you know, oh shit, look at Toots, he's got his shit put together, he looks great. But I still grind every day, right?

SPEAKER_04 10:18

You know, like that's it, wasn't easy getting to where you're at now, though, because of the things that you've gone. You would not be able to speak on those platforms without having the experiences that you've had over the course of years, exactly, and you've earned that opportunity, and you've and you've polished the diamond, but in the in in polishing that diamond, you learned a lot of things.

SPEAKER_01 10:38

Absolutely, and I'm grateful for all the experiences, right? Before I used to continuously dwell on, you know, certain moments of my life, and you know, well, you know, I deserve to use because this, this, and this happened, right? Like uh the victim mentality, you know, the poor me. It's all your fault. Like I've heard it all, you know. Today I choose to embrace those hardships. I choose to to look back and take the positives out of you know, the negatives, you know, like early in my career, getting called into Trotsi and Poyle's office every other week. And you know, I was like, geez, like why are you picking on the brown boy? You know, like fucking 15 of us were out last night, but I'm the only one getting called in. Looking back because they cared about Jordan Tutu, the person, right? Uh yeah, they're good people.

SPEAKER_04 11:29

Those aren't found every day in this game no more. A guy like Trotchio or Career too, really at the end of the day, because he he's he adored you and took you under wing. But don't you wish they would just tell you that?

SPEAKER_03 11:42

Well, instead of playing the game and you're like, God, why are you picking on me instead of them just saying, hey, we care about you, right?

SPEAKER_01 11:50

Like, yeah, and and you know, a guy like Mr. Kelly McCrimin, right? He he I had him when I was with the Brandon Weekings for four years, and shit, we we sure had our battles, right? Like, and um, but you know, Trotz, Poyle, and Kelly McCrimen, you know, these three gentlemen really, you know, allowed me to be who I who I am and and really like helped me get through those those tough years, right? And the hockey world does does wonders. Right.

SPEAKER_03 12:23

What kind of uh teammates can you throw in that group that uh you took care of you and and uh taught you things? And Jim McKenzie. Oh Jimmy Mackie, great man.

SPEAKER_01 12:35

Jimmy Mack was uh a big uh influence uh early in my career. Um Paul Korea um played with him for a few years in in Nashville. Great player. It's funny, I got a few stories because Trotsi thought PK was gonna tone Toots down a bit on the road. So Trotsi put me and PK together in the room. And I remember the first road trip we had, we were in flying to Florida, we get to the hotel room, and it's four o'clock. I chuck my bags, go on the couch. I'm hung to the gills. And PK's like, turn the TV off. Like, geez, we just landed here, bro. Like, it's our first road trip. I didn't I didn't know any of his antics or or all that. So he's like, Toots, turn the turn it off or get out of the room. I'm like, geez, what's going on here? Like, he's like, Don't say a word for the next 30 minutes. So he sets up his meditation stuff, and so I'm sitting there hung to the gills. I decide, well, I might as well just roll over and fall asleep. A nap, right?

SPEAKER_03 13:45

That's meditation.

SPEAKER_01 13:46

And then he wakes me up and he's like, okay, let's go for dinner. Well, fuck, I'm sitting there at dinner. It's sit down at six o'clock, it's nine o'clock, and we're still sitting there. Well, PK's gotta chew each bite 30, whatever times every bite. So I'm I'm done my meal in 10 minutes. Two hours later, I'm still sitting there, like, okay, like, but no, you know, like these guys really had a big influence. Um, like I said, the the hockey world has allowed me to go to many great places, uh, meet a lot of people along the way, and and you know, just reminisce. And I think that's the one thing I miss the most is the dressing room. Yeah, absolutely. Everybody, right? Where where you can just be you, right? Like uh and not worry about having a filter, and you know, just that's one.

SPEAKER_04 14:45

You weren't always there though. You weren't always in that mindset. That dressing room wasn't your spot.

SPEAKER_01 14:51

When that changed for me, I think like when I sobered up back in 2011, um, you know, I'd be sitting in the dressing room and just observing and watching and like you know, I like absorbing the the the each and every moment where prior to those years, you know, the first seven years of my career, fuck, I don't remember a lot, you know, and um it was just like a roller coaster, you know, on to the next city, next city, you know, just boom, boom, boom. And um I think when my life started to slow down is when I started to really enjoy um being around the rink, enjoy just the the life, right? Like where before it was uh it was a constant battle every day, you know, like waking up with a foggy mind, you know, like it just what year did that end? That was 2010. 2010, yeah. I uh you know, all the years playing against Detroit, I I don't remember a lot.

SPEAKER_03 16:00

You know, it's just what what brought you to that point?

SPEAKER_01 16:07

Numerous, numerous calls to the office. Right. Um, and then you know, uh I think you know, the the life of I guess being a rock star in in a in a city where um you know country music is huge and and you know we were on that same kind of platform and um just numerous calls uh into into the office. You know, it wasn't one specific event that happened. Usually, you know, we all hit our rock bottom differently. And fortunately, my teammates, coaches, you know, the the Nashville Predator Organization um caught me before it was too bad. That's great. Right. And and I truly grateful.

SPEAKER_04 16:56

Was it one particular person, one particular call that brought you there?

SPEAKER_01 17:00

Uh Trotsi. Trotsi also experienced that within his home, you know, the alcoholism and you know, just uh dysfunction. And I didn't know that at the time. Um I wasn't a very good communicator. Uh, you know, like you said earlier, you know, a lot of us hockey guys, all we want is a little bit, right? You know, and that little bit will take us through those hard times. And you know, when you have a dressing room where you know, guys are just walking by each other or you know, staff don't even say hi, coaching. Like I've been on a a few teams where you know you you feel like am I in the way here, or you know what I mean? And um one particular coach who coached me in Detroit, um you know, it was it was hard, but you know, I when I look back, um you know, that's when I was in the first couple years of my sobriety journey, and you know, every day was a test, right? Like, why the fuck are you healthy scratching me? You do you want me to fall off the wagon? You know what I mean? Like I I became I started hating the game, right? And then you know, I got guys that you played with and I played with in Detroit. Take me aside and toots don't great guys, right? Don't don't worry about this guy, we got your back.

SPEAKER_03 18:27

I I trust me, I know because I had his, it has to be his mentor in St. Louis, you know, because they're from the stories I've heard, they're the exact same human. Michael Keenan. Yeah, and they they just live to belittle people and make them feel small. And if you didn't have like I was in the same way, I was like, I started hating hockey when I was when he was here in St. Louis. I was like, it wasn't fun to come to the rink, and you could see the teammates felt the same way, yeah. And it's it like that's not how it should be. And so I get I get you.

SPEAKER_01 19:04

And so, you know, Pasha took me aside and um because we did a lot of fly fishing together.

SPEAKER_03 19:11

Is that right?

SPEAKER_01 19:12

And uh it was great because it allowed me to disengage from the game of hockey when we were out on the river, or uh, you know, we we'd maybe say five words to each other, you know, for the 10 hours we were on the road. He didn't like to say a whole bunch, did he? No, and uh, but you know, I think when you have teammates like that who genuinely care about the guy that they sit next to, um, that to me is what it's all about. Yeah, you know, because uh I I want to play for you. Yeah, right. Not I don't care about my numbers because my numbers will take care of it if I play for you. Absolutely.

SPEAKER_03 19:54

Well, let's uh take a quick break and we'll be back with Jordan Tutu and my buddy Tony Twist.

SPEAKER_07 20:02

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SPEAKER_03 23:21

Welcome back, Ice Guardians, Tony Twist, Brad Hull, and Jordan Tutu.

SPEAKER_04 23:29

Jordan, I gotta I've got to ask you. I know that your brother was a big part of your career. And when I say that, not as much physically as he was mentally. And the impact that he had and the desire for you to succeed was not just built upon your strength upstairs, but was also fueled by uh a comment that he'd made to you.

SPEAKER_01 23:52

Yes, you know, Terrence, he was three years older than me, and he was uh, you know, a guy that was my my mentor, my coach, my kind of my father figure, uh, my best friend and uh my idol, you know. And so as a young, young boy growing up, I I watched everything that he did. And uh, you know, he was a very meticulous man who whatever the task was, he got it done. And growing up watching him teach me how to fight through those hardships, you know, like it'd be minus 50 Celsius outside. And my brother was the first one to to go outside and start the skidoos and you know, shovel the the stairs, and you know, all these little teachings um really were instilled in in me. And and then when I became a young man myself, um you know he was a a very humble quiet man. And uh, but deep inside like he he wanted the best for his little brother, and he did everything in his power to um to lead the way and to pave and to break down barriers, uh, because he knew how hard it was gonna be, you know, one to to leave home and and to go to an environment where uh uh we had no experience, you know, the the city life. Um but and he broke ground for you there. He he paved the way. And and you know, he left home when he was 15 years old. And um, you know, I remember the first couple years, like him being away, I I felt like I was lost. Um but he kept reiterating the fact that you know just stick with it, you know, you're you're gonna pave your own path. And um I think when I was 15 years old uh is when I really started to instill um the style that I played through through his teachings. And um, you know, he wasn't the most vocal guy, but he he led by example. And and I feel that a lot of us indigenous people, we learn by watching, right? I'm not a a textbook guy. I'm not gonna open up a book and and learn how to do something. I'm I I gotta get hands-on and uh old school way, you know, do fail 10 times to to get it right one time. And and I still have that mentality in me today, you know. I think, you know, in order to become successful, you're gonna fail more more often than not. And that's what you know, a lot of especially men in our communities are are so damn afraid of because we carry this pride and ego to a pretty high level, right? And that being said, same in the dressing room, right? Like we're we're gonna come into the dressing room and we're not gonna air our lingerie out. We're gonna come in with a big smile on our face and and act like you know, fucking uh living the life and and um and all that. But my brother really taught me that hard work trumps skill, will over skill. And um and I think throughout my journey, um early in my hockey career, throughout my WHL years, uh, he was the guy that I was able to lead on and you know talk, talk about hard things. Um and then when he took his own life back in 2002, he left me a note, sure, go all the way, take care of the family, you are the man. Uh those words I still still inspire me today to uh to be the best version of myself and to to help our people heal through trauma and uh to help my family and and to really have uh a better understanding as to why things were they were pretty powerful words, but they hung on you too for a lot of years, where I you couldn't find a spot and place that spot.

SPEAKER_04 28:32

Yes, and and that was a big hinge, I think, in your world, because you there's something else I could have done. Is it did I miss something? But the strong words are meant for you just for what they meant, and I and you hung over them.

SPEAKER_01 28:45

Yeah, and I think uh for me it it took, like I mentioned earlier, the first seven years of my career. I don't remember a lot, right? Because it just there's just a lot of shit going on, and uh, you know, my life was in full speed, and um and yes, I I live by those words every day, but I didn't quite understand the meaning behind those three sentences until I had clarity in in my own personal life. And and looking back, um you know, he instilled uh how powerful the mind can be. Right. And um I I think for us, Inuit, for us indigenous people, um our safe place is in nature. It's a place where we we can heal, it's a place where we are connected to our ancestors. Um and like I said, my father Barney was was born and raised out on the land. And the land is where I become whole. Uh and and I'm truly grateful that my father instilled that in in our family as uh at a young age. And uh my brother uh still to this day is uh is a constant um thought in my head as to you know what he's taught me and uh you know the journey that I've been on uh is because of him. And um yes, there's a lot of questions that I've had as to why, what could I have done. Um but today I'd rather reminisce of the great times and the positives and the teachings, right? Because a lot of us who are in one um dwell on those hardships and uh you know those those hard times of uh you know certain actions that happen. Um because it's easy, right? Like we all perfect a certain way of living, and uh and when there's change that needs to be made, it's hard, right? But I tell a lot of hockey guys, like you're a fucking hockey player, you you know what mental toughness is, and in your own personal life, you have to be able to fight mentally through hardships, and you know, as a hockey player myself, um I always revert back to you know watching my dad out on the land cutting up 15 caribou in minus 40, like like nothing, but that's because you you gotta do what you gotta do in order to survive, right? No questions asked, you just gotta get her done. And yeah, I know today's generation, it's hard to tell a kid that because they don't understand, right? Because as parents, we wanna give them every opportunity what we didn't have, right? And you know, you talk about screen time and you know how these kids are all distracted and like you know, ADHD and you know, all this OCD stuff.

SPEAKER_04 32:02

Like it's go out in nature, and you found peace in that, and you've also developed some programs and been a an invaluable part of developing those programs and and keeping them in play, especially in your community.

SPEAKER_01 32:17

Yes, yeah, and then and it's it's to allow the younger generation to overcome a lot of their fears and and to to show them that hey, it doesn't matter where you come from, you know, if you if you have the mental toughness, uh, you know, the being humbled and learning to to earn, uh, you know, there's there's a lot this world can offer you. And uh and for for my brother to instill uh you know honesty, uh, you know, work ethic, earning. There's a lot this world can offer you.

SPEAKER_04 33:03

And there's no shortcuts to that. But what I believe that you're trying to do is let these youngsters understand that you don't have to take the route that you did. You know, you took a hard one, it took a lot of time. Those three words were you took them, you you took them to heart, but maybe sometimes in the wrong way. And as a consequence, you you went down the wrong. But you're now preaching, those things are available to you without having to do the route that I took.

SPEAKER_01 33:25

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, it's uh choices. Yes, there you go. Life's life's all about choices.

SPEAKER_03 33:33

And um do you find that the the helping of others like you're doing now helps you just as much?

SPEAKER_01 33:43

Absolutely, right? You know, if I if I can maybe change the mindset of one individual in that crowd, I feel I've I'm doing my job. And you know, when I go to these remote communities, they look at me like I have the answers, and you know, and I'm gonna tell them, you know, what path they need to take in order to be successful. And right off the bat, I you know, I make sure I let them know I'm not a doctor, I'm not a therapist, I'm a lived experience. And this is my story. This is my story, right? I don't know what's gonna work for you, but if I can switch your mindset, you know, to to find your tundra, your your place of uh of being still and you know peace, peace. Uh I'm doing my job. That's awesome. And I'm truly grateful. I get to see so much of Canada that I've never seen. And uh and I'm you know, I I enjoy this. Uh, you know, I do it a couple times a month, which gets me out of the house, you know, because we're all used to being on the road and having this itinerary. And you know, when when that's all taken away from you, we see it with a lot of our colleagues, right? Guys in retirement, uh, life can get pretty damn hard, right? If because you know, you set you lose your sense of identity, your purpose, uh, you know, the structure of every day, every you know, your I you know what's going on because of that piece of paper in your pocket, right? When that's done, shit gets real. And um, you know, I tell guys I didn't retire and become a public speaker overnight, right? I I started branding myself, you know, the last eight years of my career when I start when I sobered up, right? I didn't know how much more longer I was gonna play the game. And uh fortunately, I had the hockey world uh was on my side, and uh you're branding yourself a better human, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 35:45

And then thereafter you found that career of being a better human.

SPEAKER_01 35:48

Yeah, and you know, hockey's giving me this opportunity, it's always gonna be a part of my game, but it was just a small part of my life story, right? I feel what I'm doing by it, what I'm doing today is bigger and better than what I did in the world.

SPEAKER_03 36:04

There's no question about that. Yes, indeed.

SPEAKER_01 36:07

The helping of others is the greatest thing you can do, I would believe. Yeah, it's just like the dressing room, right? How do we win, how do you win Stanley Cups? You don't do it because you want the numbers, you do it because you're helping your teammate, you know, be the best version of themselves, right? Playing for the crest. Exactly. And uh, you know, that mindset in today's generation, pretty hard to find these kids, right? Because everyone is in it for themselves. And I, you know, the last three or four years of my career in the show, uh, I could see that trend happening with the young guys coming up, right? The the disrespect, the, you know, uh, you know, I picked up pucks for 13 years of my career. And, you know, I see these young rookies fucking, they're the first ones off the ice. And, you know, I remember when I was in Jersey, Scotty Gomez comes on the plane and he starts motherfucking the rookies. And I'm like, yeah, because fucking these guys are eating their dinner on the plane when we're still getting off the bus. You know, but that's the generation of like they don't understand, right? And it's like, then you say boo to them, and they're gonna go fucking cry to their agent or tell their parents.

SPEAKER_03 37:25

You know, you're right. And uh Chief Craig Ruby told me a story when he was in St. Louis, and uh he had a young kid come in at the coach's office, and he started crying.

SPEAKER_01 37:39

Well, I'll share a story.

SPEAKER_03 37:41

And he looked at he looked at Kid and goes, get the fuck out of my office, crazy.

SPEAKER_01 37:45

Yeah, are you kidding? So the Memorial Cup was just in Kelowna. Okay, my buddy coaches the Rockets and uh they lost out in the first round. So, you know, they had a month of practice, and uh one practice but the host still gets in. Yes, the host is to this day, right? The host gets in, which is where the Rockets and you know, one of their players gets clipped with the puck and he's on the ice. Okay, this is their team captain, he's crying on the ice in practice. Because I asked Georgia, I'm like, hey, what's well, how do you guys feel? He's like, Well, you know, when one of your leaders is crying on the ice, not good. And so, you know, that's but that's I feel like that's just generation of players, right? Like it's if it's if the going gets too hard, throw the towel in because they want to know what the outcome is gonna be before it happens. Right.

SPEAKER_04 38:48

If you broke tears before you went out to shovel at minus 50, that would be the end of you.

SPEAKER_01 38:52

Yeah, that would be my eyes wouldn't open when they could close them shut up.

SPEAKER_03 38:56

It's like the old cartoon with the ping, but the ice key is coming down. You know, but growing up, I mean, where would like there can't be just like a mall, and you go, oh, I'm going to the hockey store to pick up some new sticks and skates.

SPEAKER_01 39:13

Well, I'm looking around your little little store here and you know, your little collection display there, and I'm looking at all the hockey sticks, right? And like I I grew up wearing secondhand stuff, right? All my brothers hand me downs. Like, I remember having blisters on my feet since I was five years old until I was 20, till I made the show, you know. And uh, but I tell kids, you know, it's it's not the gear doesn't make you a better hockey player, right? How bad do you want it here? Exactly, right? And you know, you you got these eight-year-old kids using $400 sticks and you know, all this stuff, and you know, how bad do you want it? You know, my I remember wearing gloves like Wayne Gretzky's ever since I was five years old, right? Because they were all dad's hand-me-downs or or my brothers, and but I still made it work.

unknown 40:13

Yep.

SPEAKER_01 40:15

Awesome.

SPEAKER_03 40:17

We're gonna take another quick break and we'll be right back. Jordan Tutu. Now it's time for our get checked moment of the game. And today we're talking about breast cancer. And if you're a gentleman watching, please tell your wives, girlfriends, friends, daughters, sisters, aunts, and even your mother-in-law. Gals watching, listen in closely to this. If you're 40 or older and haven't yet gotten your manogram, it is so important that you do. Women who undergo regular yearly screening for breast cancer have better outcomes than women who don't. If you have family history of breast cancer, there is a chance you will need to start getting screened even earlier. And that's something to talk to your primary care physician about. Seitman Cancer Centers offer a mobile mammography van that parks at convenient places like Schnook's and Walmart all over town, so you can get screened on your way to run errands. Check out the van schedule and make an appointment on Siteman's website, siteman.washu.edu or type in your zip code at get screenednow.com. If you're in Missouri or Illinois, to find multiple locations near you to get screened.

SPEAKER_02 41:33

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SPEAKER_03 42:07

Score big at Hippos Dispensaries with locations in Chesterfield, Columbia, and Springfield. Daily deals to keep your wallet in the game, top cannabis brands you know and trust, and bud tenders who feel like teammates. Hippos, your home rink for cannabis in Missouri. Welcome back to the Window World Studios, brought to you by the Seitman Cancer Center, Jordan Tutu, Tony Twist. Uh little Birdie told me to ask you about uh going from the brown room to making the movie.

SPEAKER_01 42:43

Yeah, I was uh I was approached a few by a few production companies when I was still playing. Um and I just felt at that time it wasn't I wasn't ready. Um because ultimately, you know, every NHL player's dream is to hoist the Stanley Cup. And unfortunately that didn't happen for me. And uh and then I retired and um Adam Scorgey and his crew uh came along, and you know, this was a couple years in into retirement, and I felt like uh it was time to put my story out there, and um not not for you know your average hockey fan to to enjoy another documentary. This this was to really help my family heal, um, help our people heal because we all fight a fight no one knows about, right? And uh and people outside of the dressing room will will only know you as you know an accomplished professional, whatever profession you you're in. And uh, and for me, uh sharing my journey and and helping my family heal. Through trauma, addiction. You know, it was the right time for me to put it out there. And uh it's been a blessing for my family. Uh yeah, a lot of hard times, a lot of hard conversations. Um, but at the end of the day, um I couldn't be more proud of, you know, especially my parents, finding the courage to to speak the truth and to to share their experiences.

SPEAKER_04 44:33

And that was some of them the first time they ever opened up about Terrence and about yourself. I mean, seriously, yes, like in the last two years. Yes, yes. When you talk about a quiet family where not much is being spoken, yeah, what do you take from that?

unknown 44:48

Good.

SPEAKER_01 44:49

Yes, it was uh a lot of weight off our shoulders, right? I think when when a lot of us men, you know, we carry this pride and ego to a pretty high standard. And you know, a lot of it's due to the way we were taught and you know, the the experiences that we've gone through and and learned to set aside, you know, a lot of the the hardships, and and when we'd show up to the rink, you walk into that door like you're uh a new man, right? Like a refresh man. Because for me, the hockey rink was my safe place. And um, and I think throughout the process of filming, there was a lot of um conversations had regarding you know certain life experiences that we gone through. And uh, you know, I'd always tell my parents, this is this is from my perspective. You know, I I'm not here to expose our family secrets. Um, you know, I'm just here to spark a conversation because you know, I I just feel like in today's world, it's okay to not be okay, right? Because our neighbors uh, you know, are probably going through the same things. And um, you know, in today's world, a lot of us don't speak to our neighbors, right? We don't even know who they are, right? Uh, and so I think a lot of my childhood buddies after watching and reading my books, uh, was uh they felt like they were reliving their their childhood experience too, right? So uh it's it's really been uh a true blessing. And uh I am so damn proud of you know mom and dad and my sister and and a lot of my close family members to um speak the truth, right? Because we uh we all have baggage. I don't give a shit who you are, right? Like there's a lot of shame and guilt that I I carried, and yeah, I'm not proud of a lot of the things that I didn't in my life, but people change, yeah, right. And we have to allow people to change in time, right? Like a lot of times it's all about instant gratification today, right? I I want, I I want it, I want. And my dad would always say, Is it a want or a need? Right. When I go shopping with my wife, I ask her the same thing is it a want or a need? But um, yeah, it's uh truly a blessing, and um, you know, there's no way I'd be able to speak the way that I am speaking today because of going through my timelines and and letting go and uh and seeing life from a different lens. Um, you know, I'm not better than you. I don't ever consider myself better than a person next next to me, you know, because we all have a story. I choose to embrace the challenges that I face today with clarity and uh and and you know, sometimes taking a few steps back to see the big picture, right? Like you see an individual explode in a public place, it's it's not that exact moment, it's it's layers.

SPEAKER_04 48:26

With that said, was everybody in your family or back at home willing to accept the new Jordan? Because as you go back, when you were through your your your tumultuous times, you came back with a mission. That mission wasn't always directly family-oriented, and you may have taken different people down different paths, and not only did you ask, you almost demanded. So, was everybody receptive to the new Jordan? And of course, not everybody will be, and there's no shame in that, but you made an effort.

SPEAKER_01 48:58

Yes, I I don't think I think it definitely took a few years, right? Uh, because you know, I I perfected a certain way of living. We we all you know have perfected a certain way of living out that and I think when when they're when changes to be made, uh it it takes a while to establish yourself, right? And and I find that with a lot of guys that retire, right? Like we we know one way of living, and when when you hang up the skates, um you don't realize how difficult that is until you're in it, and uh and for me, um reminiscing and and you know being okay, not being okay, I've accepted, you know, that nobody's perfect, right? I don't give a shit if you're the wealthiest person, just be a good human, yeah, be a nice person. Absolutely. I I don't give a shit of all the accolades or you know, yes, I I've gotten all these awards. I I'm grateful for it, but if you're a shitty person, people see that it's worthless, yeah. And uh I just I just feel like the hockey world has really humbled me and you know put me in a place of uh honesty and and uh and you know reflecting and and speaking with veteran guys like you guys, you know.

SPEAKER_04 50:36

And part of that process of being real made apologies to his friends' wives on behalf of himself for what he was. Apologies like to me, that's that is that is a a freaking fantastic. Takes a big man to go to the other people's wives. The man that you took down the line, I I that's an amazing, that's that's a tough road to haul.

SPEAKER_01 51:02

Yeah, but explain if you could just a little when when you're in that life of uh you know being selfish um until you step outside and and see what you've put a lot of your buddies through or you know, your your friends, um, because of your own demands or your own path that you want to take. Uh I remember going home every offseason and partying it up for two weeks. And I would tell my buddies, significant others, like, fuck, I'm home for two weeks, like let the guy be. You know, and you know, I didn't have kids back then, and you know, a lot of my buddies were having families, and uh, and so yeah, that was a big uh moment in my life where I had to step up to the plate and uh and and you know go out for coffees with you know people that really helped me be who I am today, right? Like I I go back to my hometown and I'm never gonna forget my my childhood buddies, right? Like, yes, we all have different lives, but at the end of the day, uh it's because of them I've uh been I had a successful hockey career, right? Like I owe it to them, I owe it to my immediate family. Uh I didn't do it on my own, right? And and just accepting the fact that uh you know all these hardships and and tumultuous times that I've gone through where I've created a person that I am today.

SPEAKER_03 52:47

I think I think it's incredible just to have the thought that you needed to go back and apologize. You know, doing it is one thing, but having the foresight to actually think about, you know, I should probably go and apologize to these people. Uh to me, that's a that's growth. Tells you a lot about yourself.

SPEAKER_01 53:12

Well you are for two the first two years of my sobriety journey. Fucking every day someone would come up to me and be like, oh toots, remember this, this, uh you spilt a beer or you, you know, whatever. And you know, I would take that those experiences as like, why is this person freaking telling me that do they want me to fall off the wagon? Right, like but I was like that that I was feeling sorry for myself, and until I realized like how many people I affected, you know, throughout my journey and you know, experiences, um, like it was a big eye opener. You know, and because you don't you're you're you know, I was in this bubble, uh, you know, and felt like, you know, I didn't give a shit. You know, as long as I had a couple buddies that were beside me and could hang with me, I was I was good. But a lot of times I didn't want to be by myself because I didn't want to sit in my own thoughts, you know, at the end of the night. And you know, I always would say it wasn't the booze that killed me, it was the hunt, you know, and you know, here I am four in the morning, downtown Nashville. What the hell? Yeah, you know, and but that being said, you know, I don't regret anything I did in my life, you know. But you changed it.

SPEAKER_03 54:38

I changed, and uh, you know, and now you going and helping and speaking to these young kids, and I guess not everyone is young, you know, I'm sure there's adults uh for you to be able to help them, like because I think it starts with not wanting to be alone in your own thoughts a lot of times. And it it's uh it's it's the self-medication to to have it go away.

SPEAKER_01 55:14

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, no, it's uh you know, I just carry myself to do what I can control, right? Like I, you know, before the thoughts of why why am I not in the lineup? Why why am I a healthy scratch? How come I'm only playing two minutes? What do I gotta do better? You know, like the the the replaying in your brain, you know, how powerful that can be on an individual. And for a lot of athletes, that's that's the hardest one to beat, right? And you know, whether you're a goal scorer or a role player, um, a fighter, when you're not doing your job, it you you start to do things that are out of your character. And and for me, that was my off-ice antics, right? Like it just, you know, I I would always tell myself, I did my job on the ice, so I can go and you know have a little fun. But I accepted that fun beyond the point where a lot of my teammates didn't want to hang out with me anymore. And I started realizing that towards the end of my my run.

SPEAKER_04 56:30

And um, you know, you realize that was your lowest form of training, and I relate that to whenever you're engaged in battle, it's always you revert back to your lowest form of training, and it's just an innate, it's how your body reacts. So if your lowest form of training is that, that's where you go. But as you escalate your training and you become a that person, instead of when battle comes, you go to your lowest form. But but it's now it's all the way up here, and that's transcended itself. Yeah, and your family life, your wife seems to you must be an angel because uh you have uh I mean listen, remember listening to a podcast that you were on, and I thought it'd be a great introspective on your behalf. Yeah, three Stanley Cups, right? This man has three Stanley Cups.

SPEAKER_01 57:19

I get to see them walk out of their room every morning. Like I said, you know, my my wife uh I met her back in my junior days, and uh she knew the the old Jordan Tutu and the way that I ran. And uh were you together with her then?

SPEAKER_04 57:37

No, oh, she remembers you back, okay.

SPEAKER_01 57:39

No, we connected in juniors and then went our own ways for about six, seven years and reconnected after I got a rehab. And uh I remember old Dan Cronin, you know, coming to me when I got out, you know, I think you should stay out of a relationship for at least a year, you know, let your life settle down. And I remember looking at Cronin and I'm like, go fuck yourself, watch, watch, you know. I have a great relationship with him and and all that. And uh, but yeah, my wife Jennifer, um, you know, through the good and bad times, uh has stuck by my side. And uh, and now we have three, we're blessed with three girls. And good for you. I tell her, you know, that's karma for us, you know.

SPEAKER_03 58:26

I just think she probably loves you getting her out of branding.

SPEAKER_04 58:30

That expression there just really hit home to me because that came off the tongue, and it wasn't well rehearsed because I hadn't heard that before in any other podcast. And it was a great expression. And that's the three Stanley Cups. You know, probably all I can say is that is that's true. That was a true, not well off the tongue, not a thought, right? Uh, you know, process piece that was going to be regurgitated somewhere. That's why I wanted to bring it back up. And the availability that you've made yourself available to your family. And I think there's a lot of guys out there that that I'm sure you've impacted or could impact with the value of your words, where you've become available to your family, where you were not made available, and all the other circumstances as to the reason why you were not made available were some internal with you, but also part of the game. But you can incorporate the game and make yourself available to the family, and you've done that. You've done that. And I and I want the one question I'm gonna ask you is why? That it's a simple answer, is why have you done that?

SPEAKER_01 59:37

Well, I think for me, like the the game of hockey has been one big family, and uh and it's always gonna be family for me, right? And yeah, I may not see my teammates that I played with for years, but when we reconnect, and you guys know know what it's like, it's like you didn't miss a beat, right? And uh for for me, family, a home life is probably for for me personally, the most important thing you made yourself available to be available for you know, being a present father, being a present husband. You know, I I tell people, yeah, me and my wife, we we go to therapy, we we do therapy, and right away, you know, oh, are you guys okay? Like, is uh is the marriage okay?

SPEAKER_04 1:00:24

And it's okay to go to therapy, you don't have to have a perm to do it, right?

SPEAKER_01 1:00:27

Exactly. And I tell them this is maintenance, and I'm grateful I'm able to do it because I've learned how to communicate and learn you know how to do certain things, assess your feelings, yes, and and just be present in the moment and like having three daughters, you know, learning the emotional roller coaster at home. Um, you know, because in my home it was chaos, right? And you know, a lot of yelling and and screaming and and all that. And yeah, sometimes like I'll find myself getting caught up, you know, and but uh I'm able to do the repair work to conversing with my girls, and um your line of communication has grown to a spot where it comes from a positive spot instead of a negative, yes. And as much as I'd love my girls to see what daddy did, I wouldn't change a thing today, right? I'd rather be a present father. And you know, I've had a lot of teammates have kids uh while they were still playing, and a lot of them miss a lot of their you know special events at school or or whatever. And uh my my girls are 10, 8, and 2, and my older ones are realizing what daddy did for work. And um, I took him to Nashville last November and we were sitting in the in the stands there, and they put me on the jumbotron and everyone goes crazy. And my 10-year-old looks back at me and she's like, Atata, is this like did you play hockey on here in front of all these people? And I was like, Yeah, I did. And she just she soaked it all in, right? And I was a pretty, pretty cool moment. And um, but family, family's everything, right? Uh home life, yes, there's a lot of ups and downs, and you know, but I think when when you're when when the man of the house can let their pride and egos down, um the house becomes you're putting the work into the house, yes, not into yourself. Becomes a home. Becomes a home. And like for a lot of us, my my home is a dressing room, right? Uh I I get we play Thursday nights in Kelowna, all the X Pros, and uh and that's that's where I get to, you know, release all my endorphins in the hockey world, right? Like it still gets pretty heated out there, you know. You got Slimmer, Cory Cross, you know, so it gets heated out there. And but yeah, family, um like I said, mom and dad finding the courage. And then, you know, my home in Kelowna, my door is always open. Uh conversations we have are what's said in the house stays in the house, you know, because a lot of times, you know, we don't want to air our own laundry out. And and I find like when I have a lot of ex-teammates come over, my home's a safe home.

SPEAKER_04 1:03:34

And uh you've opened that line of communication that you didn't have at home when you were younger because it was a keep your mouth shut, do your job, and you've graduated and a lot of that and shut up and put up with it, you know.

SPEAKER_01 1:03:47

And I mean that mentality, like it's still in me, but you understand it more now. I understand, I have a different perspective, guarded and tempered, yes, but never to go away, exactly. And I'm grateful that I get to do things like this and reminisce and and speak to you know, veteran guys who have you know seen it all, and uh and I think at the end of the day, we're all equal. Absolutely, right? Like uh I feel like the hockey world, there's no you know, upper standard, like you know, we're it's a brotherhood, and uh you know, we're never gonna lose that. Never.

SPEAKER_03 1:04:28

Another quick break, and we'll be back to finish up with Jordan Tutu from the Window World Studios, brought to you by the Seitman Cancer Center.

SPEAKER_02 1:04:38

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SPEAKER_02 1:06:19

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SPEAKER_03 1:06:36

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SPEAKER_04 1:07:11

I think I've done some stuff, but are you kidding? Are you kidding me? I've done some stuff, but uh some of it we can't report on, but I'm gonna ask you this. You left at the age of 13. You've whale hunted, you've steel hunted, you have polar bear hunted because at a certain part of the season, because that is the way that you covered yourself as a as a community and it was a key and important part. Don't misforgive me. This is this is necessity. This is necessity hunting. This isn't glorified hunting. But it no trophies. There's not a tro, there's no trophy involved. And I we were speaking earlier prior to this break. The nonchalant and how you exercised is just it rings it the gravity of that. How old were you the first time you're on a whale hunt?

SPEAKER_01 1:08:07

I was probably seven, eight years old. Um yeah, just uh, you know, it's a it's a different way of hunting. You know, you we talk about you know, trophy hunting, sport hunting. Um you see, us Inuyu when they we measure with our hands, right? Like it's not about the big rack, it's how much fat. You know, this is that that's how we measure, you know, it's not about the rack, it's not about the the size of the the kill. Um as far as whale hunting. And why do you use that? So let everybody know. Well, because it's for food. Necessity hunting. Necessity, yes. And it's not, we're not going out hunting for for for the ivory or you know, for for the big rack. And um, you know, hunting in the south, it's it's I love being out on the land. Um, but in the south, I'm not trigger happy when I go out on the land, you know, because I just it's different for me. You know, when I'm home, it's to provide and and to survive. Uh growing up eating wild meat, um a lot of us inuit, a lot of us in indigenous people are are physically fit because of our our lifestyle and and what we eat, right? And um what it takes to get it.

unknown 1:09:38

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:09:39

Well, that's that's another thing, right? You know, we we you want to talk about whale hunting, right? There's there's a lot of moving parts, but to to us hunters, local hunters, um it's second nature, right? You know, you you can have a a hunter come from the south and think that they fucking know how to do everything, right? And my dad's taken out a lot of guys, and you know, and a lot of times these hunters think they know what the hell they're doing, and so you know, my dad will would stand back and okay, how about her when you know what you're doing, you know, and within five minutes, oh Barney, can you show us this? And a lot of times it was me and my brother doing doing all the the work, right? And um, but whale hunting, seal hunting, it's it's a different type of hunting. Um, you know, you're on the water, um, and it's a rush. There's uh, you know, you got four or five people on the boat, and uh, you know, when you're starting to corral, we're not talking a big boat, are we? No, we're talking 12, 16 foot long boats or a moose head, you know, with uh 55 Evan Rude outboard, just giving her 1500-pound whale. Yeah, a 1500-pound whale, but um yeah, it's uh there's a lot of moving parts, and and it's a big rush, right? And and I always in my hockey career would relate back to my experience of hunting, you know, like walking down the tunnel, and you get that shit, you know, you're gonna step out on the ice. And it's just the same as when we were seal hunting or caribou hunting, right? You that that rush of holy shit, like this is gonna happen, you know. Um but that rush meant a lot more because you knew that you were gonna feed them. And um, you know, as a lot of people, you know, I have a lot of footage of you know the not so good parts of you know what you have to do in order to process the meat. Uh but for me, um, it's part of our culture, it's a part of our tradition to uh there's no shame in that to to provide. And yeah, no, like I I can have people in the south here tell me, oh, you know, that's not right, and all this. And of course, and it's not even an argument for me because I can't even explain because you've never experienced the life that we we live in in the far north, and uh I think ultimately uh you know it's it's a sacrifice that that animal has made to help us uh survive. And um uh whale hunting is um it's it's hard to explain because uh you've thrown the harpoon though. I've thrown the harpoon and uh you know finish it off with a rifle and and all that, but uh I don't know how to verbalize the the experience because you uh I'm sure it's like any guy who has hoisted the Stanley Cup, right?

SPEAKER_04 1:12:54

Like you can't explain that feeling of there's a lot less guys that have thrown a harpoon and then have levied the Stanley Cup. I mean the percentage is decimal points away.

SPEAKER_01 1:13:07

Yeah, and and I think you know showing people and and bringing a lot of my ex-teammates up to the north and and allowing them to experience that, it's a lot of it's life-changing, right? Because you you start to think about you know survival. And to me, growing up in the in the north, it was survival mode every day. And that's how I I took that into my hockey career, right? I I lived every day like it was my last. And um and I think ultimately the biggest sacrifice you can make is letting go, right? And and like letting things happen the way they're supposed to happen rather than trying to fight, right? Like when we're out on the land, you're not fighting Mother Nature. Because you're gonna lose.

SPEAKER_04 1:14:02

You're gonna you're gonna hunker down and um but you need her for to participate though, because a whale hunt doesn't happen all year. No, and it is it is a substance uh hunting that your community depends on. So the gravity of that, correct me if I'm wrong. The gravity of that substance hunting needs to be successful. If it isn't, what is the gravity of it not?

SPEAKER_01 1:14:26

Yeah, yeah, there you go. Right, life or death.

SPEAKER_04 1:14:29

Yeah, standing over a seal hole. Tell me about that.

SPEAKER_01 1:14:31

Well, that's you need a lot of patience, right? Uh, you know, you're when when you're standing over a seal hole with a harpoon in your hand and it's minus 30 outside, right? Like the the mental toughness that you have to build in order to stay still and not move, you know, and the patience, right? All these little experiences that I went through helped build me. Well, it it didn't help, it was part you built that that the foundation of you know, the the player, the type of player that I I became. And uh, you know, you get you get the question all the time, like, man, like how do how do how do you do it? How do you you know? And it's just like fuck, I I can't even verbalize it to you because like second nature, you just fucking do it to survive, right? And and it's just like playoffs, right? Like these guys in the third, fourth round, everyone's running on fumes, but it's all up here, right? And you get the the nowadays you don't have your our average farm boy playing the game of hockey because of city slickers, the the price tag of you know trying to keep up with the Joneses, right? Like when we played, every team had 10-12 farm boys that fucking had the will to fight, right? Not not physically fight, but to grind through those fucking hard times. And it's the same when we're out on the land, right?

SPEAKER_04 1:16:01

But there's no desperation when you're on the land. You knew the gravity of success and what it and if you didn't have it, but there was no desperation.

SPEAKER_05 1:16:08

No.

SPEAKER_04 1:16:09

So the mentality of not having desperation 100% played into your career because you played not as a desperate man, but as a man who knew what it took, yeah, and built upon those experiences.

SPEAKER_01 1:16:24

You you you talk about teamwork, right? Successful teams win because of the camaraderie. And it's the same with us indigenous people. When when we're out on the land, I need you to survive. We're gonna set aside all our bullshit, right? Whatever whether there's family feuds, right? Because out there, there's no fucking road. Right. Like I need you to survive.

SPEAKER_04 1:16:48

And what are those what are those spots where you need you got how many people in the whale? So you've landed the whale. Now what do you need?

SPEAKER_01 1:16:53

Well, it's it's the the day the day-to-day uh things you when you're out there, right? Like I I need suggestions from you, right? Like just because I I may be the best hunter, I still need you to help me, you know, move forward, like tying down the cutting up the whale a certain way, or a caribou or a polar bear, you know, like it's teamwork and uh successful hunts, successful communities, scouts, lookouts, they they have a system, right?

SPEAKER_03 1:17:28

And and it's just like the women play a huge role too, don't they?

SPEAKER_01 1:17:34

Without the women, right? Like it's a two-way street, you know, like uh men yeah, like the olden days, men did the physical hard work. Uh the mommies, you know, took care of the home and fed the family. And I feel like in today's generation, you know, things have evolved and it's it's fifty-fifty, right? Like, you know, but some days it may be fifty-one, like you I may need you a little bit more than I need mommy, or you know what I mean, or vice versa. And it's the same when you're out out in nature, right? You gotta have great peripheral vision and an open mind, right? Like you get the horse virus on uh pretty tough for survival. One of my favorite shows is called Alone, right, where they throw ten people out in the wilderness and okay, let's see how how long you can survive with nothing. And it's crazy how mental the mental breakdowns break people, right? And like how powerful the brain is, right?

SPEAKER_04 1:18:45

And the precedent of team, meaning you, like you said, or in your community, you not everybody gets along, and it's a very small community, everybody knows everybody, and you've said this numerous times. There may be riffs, there may not be a successful relationship built um before you go out. But with the understanding that today I got you, you got me. Not so much unlike the dressing room. You don't have to love everybody you play for and or play with. And I know there's a lot of guys that you know off the ice probably didn't enjoy him a whole bunch, but they knew at the end of the day my job was gonna get done, and I know their job is gonna get done because I depend on I as much as I did Brett depended on me or uh to take care of, I depend on Brett to score goals. Because if he doesn't score goals and put asses in the seat, everybody's job's in jeopardy.

SPEAKER_01 1:19:29

Yeah, yeah. I and I, you know, speaking on that topic, like you know, my last couple of years in the in the league, you know, I I'd have coaches come up to me, hey, can you look after this young boy? And you know, and it's just like when the going gets tough, is it like is this young man gonna fucking battle with me in the corners? Probably not. Or like, no, he's not, right? You know, so why the fuck am I gonna go out of my way? But I set all that shit aside, right? Because I knew I probably wouldn't be around as long as I did, you know, if I had that attitude of fucking fuck him, you know.

SPEAKER_03 1:20:13

But I was a pro, you know, like in the dressing room that, you know, and understood your brother did that for you, like you you mentioned earlier in one of the other segments, is be a good person.

SPEAKER_01 1:20:24

Yeah. You know, we've all played with selfish fucks. We've all played with uh yeah butts players and yeah, you know, why we're like and but at the end of the day, it's your job to heal them.

SPEAKER_04 1:20:43

When I say heal, like a dog, you heal to the team. Yeah, you heal to the team first. If you don't heal to the team, you're gonna get kicked, and that is an important part of things that sometimes lost and transition to the dressing room these days. You know, you will heal, motherfucker, because our team depends on you. And if you don't heal, you're not coming back in the doghouse.

SPEAKER_01 1:21:03

No shelter for you for me. It was the celebrations in the dressing room, right? Like, you know, whether if I scored a goal, which I didn't score a lot of goals, the boys fucking loved it, right? And and that's what the fans don't see as role players, right? Like, you know, it's not about the fighting, it's it's the camaraderie. It's you know, a lot of us role players were the glue guys in the dressing room, right? Always.

SPEAKER_04 1:21:28

And uh and a patent of shins from a guy like Holly means everything to a role player. Absolutely. Like you gave a pat and a shin to a youngster that's here today. Yeah, that meant the world to him. That small bit, just that little bit. If you can take that home, anybody who's listening, take home. Just that simple thing coming from somebody you would that you admire, that you work with, that little thing can change the economics of the world you live in.

SPEAKER_01 1:21:54

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_04 1:21:55

And I say economics, not monetarily, mentally, physically, spiritually.

SPEAKER_01 1:21:59

You know, that guy for me was Paul Curia. Awesome. You know, like I watched uh, you know, I he comes to Nashville and treated me just like I was teammates with him for 20 years.

SPEAKER_04 1:22:13

Turn the TV off, motherfucker.

SPEAKER_01 1:22:15

Time to meditate. But yeah, man, like I I'm truly grateful and honored that I got to play the game that I loved and and did it for as long as I did. Um, you know, you got guys like fucking Pierre Maguire coming to me for my 500 game and looking at me in the eyes. Like, did you ever imagine this happening to you? And I looked at him and I said, Go fuck yourself. Turned around and skated away. Good for you. You know, at the end of the day, goodness to change anything.

SPEAKER_03 1:22:51

Yeah, all of us. And let me tell you, we're grateful to have you on. Uh, you've been a hell of a guest, great story, good man. I enjoyed so much continued success in uh not only your journey, personal journey, but your journey to help others around this world. So thank you. Uh keep up the good work and uh proud of you.

SPEAKER_04 1:23:14

Thank you. The opportunity to learn to learn to be a man by a man is learn to be one in the in his own way. Yes, sir. Transcends wealth. Thank you so much. Thank you, gentlemen.

SPEAKER_03 1:23:26

Thank you, everybody, for tuning in to Ice Guardians from the Window World Studio, brought to you by Simon Cancer Center. Adios.