Control Blocks WEALTH

Control is probably costing you more than you think.

Not just in money…
But in that good ole familiar exhaustion. 

“I’ll just do it myself.”
“It’s easier if I handle it.”
“I don’t want it to fall apart.”

It feels responsible.
She 
But it’s also what’s keeping everything the same.

There’s a way this shows up for high-performing women that doesn’t look like a problem…

Until you really see it.

I didn’t see it at first either.

I’m talking about this live at 8am.

If things have been feeling heavier than they should…
come listen.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

If you want to get everything right, we are definitely responsibilities. Not quite the focus. Co-founder of the science of years of working people pleasing. I finally discovered the truth. Real wealth does not come from school. It comes from identity. Now I should win like you how to combine science and spirit to create wealth with me, joy and freedom. Because this is your time. Your wealthy era. Welcome to the wealthy me podcast. If your income has stopped growing the way it used to and you can't figure out why, it's not your pricing, it's not the market, it's not your funnel, it's not the economy, it's control. And the hardest part about that is for high-performing women, control does not feel like a problem. But once you realize how control is actually limiting the growth and expansion of your income, I promise you, you are never going to want to do it all again. In this video, I'm going to give you a 30-second hack that you can use every time you feel exhausted, overwhelmed, like you're carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders because you're trying to control everything. I'm going to give you this 30-second hack that you can use to get you out of control and into receiving. Welcome to episode 23 of the Wealthy Me podcast. I'm Tasha and I created this podcast because I wanted to have a space where high-performing women could breathe, relax, let their shoulders down, and just know it is safe here to say you want to be wealthy and you want it to happen with ease. Now let's get back to control. The thing is that for high-performing women, we actually look at control as leadership, as being responsible, as, oh, I got this. I got it, right? I'm in charge. I got it. The truth is, this control addiction that we have, and it really is, and PS, I'm not talking from a soapbox. I'm at the front of the line on this one. This control addiction that we have is actually limiting the way that we can receive more growth, more expansion, not just in our income, but honestly in every area of our lives and the way that we show up in our businesses. Um I was thinking about how for me, I don't even realize when I'm in this controlled pattern. It's like I just feel it in my body. I start to feel exhausted. I start to feel like I'm carrying the weight of the world around. I start honestly snapping at everybody. Nobody can do it as good as me. It's a lot of pressure. And you know, where I feel it in my body, I don't know about you if you're watching, let me know in the comments. For me, it starts to show up here in my shoulders and in my neck. And it's just not worth it. So today I want to talk about three things. I want to I want you to understand neurologically what's going on, like in neuroscience, what's happening in our brains when we go into this control addiction and what it looks like when we step out of it, when we release control, why what are the benefits? What happens neurologically, but what happens in your life, what happens in your business, what happens in your income? And then we're gonna end with that 30-second hack I promised you that will help you every time you just know I'm carrying the weight of the world around and it's not worth it. All right. Hello from this beautiful place that I'm at today. Uh, come have a cup of coffee with me. Isn't it beautiful here? This this is wealthy. So let's jump back into neuroscience. Let's talk about what's going on in the brain because I know for high-performing women, you know, I know for me, once I understand it, once it makes sense, it's like, okay, I get it. I see this. And now I can choose, I can make a choice, I can make a decision. Is this working for me or not? Do I want to keep doing this? Am I getting the results that I want or not? So let's look at um from a neuroscience perspective, when you are operating out of control, when you are, you know, in your control patterns, I call it my control addiction. Maybe I should just personalize it like that. What happens in my brain is that I'm actually reinforcing this identity of I have to be self-reliant, I have to be fiercely independent. Nobody can do it as good as me. And when I practice, you know, when I find myself like resorting back to being in control, what I'm actually doing is because the brain is a prediction machine, I'm actually telling the brain to continue to predict and create a life where I need to be independent, I need to be self-reliant, I need to do it all because nobody can do it as good as me. If those things are not true, what's making them true is that when we're in control, when we stay in that control pattern, we actually fuel our brains to stay in that identity, to stay predicting and creating a life to make that true. So the irony of it is none of us, none of us, I don't care who you are, none of us want the weight of self-reliance, none of us want the burden of being fiercely independent, none of us want to do it all ourselves. You might maybe you think you do, then this conversation might not be for you. I don't want to do those things, I really don't. Truthfully, it's too much. And even though I don't, when I step into controlling, what's happening is I'm telling my brain that I do. And that's what's really hard. I'm I don't want it, but I tell my brain through control behavior that I do. And so now, when I look around at my life, when we look around at our life, when we're in control, of course, the brain just goes out and predicts circumstances, realities, events, people not showing up, people not doing the things that they said they would do, all of it starts happening, right? Um, somebody lets us down, the thing didn't work out, um something failed, and you have to jump back into doing it all. It's that's not actually like life happening, that's us creating it, allowing our brains to continue to predict and create those circumstances. So let me know in the comments. Hang on, I'm gonna jump over here. Let me know in the comments if this makes sense. Um, one of the fun things about doing this on my phone is that sometimes I can't. Sorry, I have to like scroll, I can't see all the things. Okay, what happens in the brain? Thing number two. We have uh our brains, like I said in number one, our brains actually have created an identity for us. It has decided you, Tasha, are this identity when it comes to income, when it comes to life, when it comes to money. And when we are in that control behavior, what we're doing is we're we are reinforcing survival mode. And when we're in survival mode, you know, think about this our amygdala, the threat center, it becomes overactive. Why? Because way back in the day when we were, you know, living in caves, all we had really back then was the amygdala. It was the most developed part of the brain because all we needed to do was stay safe. There were sabretos, tigers, and bigger, fiercer animals than us coming to attack, and we needed to stay safe. And so we were always on guard, but that's not the reality now. We are actually acting like we're living in caves because we are allowing our amygdala to stay in this threat mode, like the other foot is, you know, the other shoe is gonna drop, something's gonna fail, something's not gonna work out, and so we're constantly on guard in our brain. And I just want you to think about how does that feel in your body to live in threat mode. Here's the thing: when you live in threat mode, you create a financial reality that mirrors threat. One of my goddesses said to me last week, just to make this point, she was like, I realize I'm constantly holding my breath for the next shoe to drop, and then it does, right? Constantly living in that threat energy, and then that's what happens. So this is what's going on in the brain when you're in control. You actually you're you're acting out of survival, and your your amygdala is constantly scanning for threat. And when you seek, you will find. So if it's constantly scanning for threat, it's gonna prove you right. You are in you are in a threat situation. Now let's turn to the nervous system. The nervous system is what I call the protection part of the brain, right? It's like this is the thing that keeps us protected, and so when you're in control, you're actually walking around saying, I'm not safe, I'm not safe, I'm not safe, and you are emitting this energy of I am not safe. And so I don't know about you, but when I am feeling, thinking, behaving like I'm not safe, I have tunnel vision, I operate under a ton of pressure, I start overthinking, I start seeing, I start, you know, having thoughts of I'm not good enough, I start really be believing and acting from the narrative of I'm not safe, my nervous system is in fight or flight all the time, and that does not allow you to experience wealth with ease. So here is the here is just like where the rubber hits the road. The illusion is that by being in control, and again, I'm talking to high-performing women because we understand this best, right? We see control as I'm being responsible, we see control as leadership, we see control as I got this, I got this. And so think about that for a second. The illusion is that control is not giving you power, it's not, and there's gonna come a moment where in my life it's been several moments where I actually have to face the reality. I cannot control everything, and so even though I keep trying to control everything, I realize the more I try to control it, the more powerless I prove that I am, and that's hard, it's one of the hardest things to realize. So the illusion is that you think control gives you power, but it actually contracts you, it actually blocks you from receiving. And if you want wealth, if you want your income to grow, I'm gonna tell you just point blank more income, more wealth, more ease, does not live in an environment that is modeling threat, failure, waiting for failure, doing it all on your own. You are not in expansion energy, you're in contraction energy when you try to stay in this control behavior pattern. Let me know in the comments if that makes sense. Because once my brain understood that, um for me, it was game changer. I was like, why am I trying to control everything? It's not making me move further, it's not getting meals. Actually, energetically, neurologically, this is the thing. Let's just talk neuroscience. Neurologically, control puts you backwards versus expanding you. So, so let's look at that. My next thing was that I'm promised you, I'm gonna talk about when you release control, what happens in your brain? What happens when neurologically, like from a neuroscience perspective, what happens when you actually start practicing releasing control? So, number one, the prefrontal cortex moves forward, it actually has more space to come back online. I like to say the amygdala is like the little kid. The amygdala is like, ah, I'm scared, the world is falling, the world is burning down, there's a tiger right out there, there's a monster in the dark room. Ah, that's the amygdala, right? When we like turn the volume down on that, that there is no threat, and we actually start operating from I don't need to be in control, the prefrontal cortex comes back online. The prefrontal cortex cortex is like the adult in the room. This is the part of the brain that actually allows you to think more strategically, be more creative, actually see more opportunities. It's it's when you release control, you know how we talk about let go and let God. This is what happens. You actually, when you release control, and this part of the brain um has more room to operate. What's happening from let go, let God is you actually have space to connect to the mind of God. I don't know if you understand and you get that. Why would you want to release control? Because when you're in control, you're operating from your finite little tiny human brain, and you cannot access the one mind. You cannot access the divine mind that has all the answers that you need to get to your next level. But when you release control, now your prefrontal cortex, this part of the brain actually has space for you to hear the downloads, for you to hear from spirit, for you to get the guidance that you need, right? So, with me, one of the things that I I notice every time I release control, that's when I make my next big moves in my business. That might be worth it for you. It's definitely worth it for me to release control. I don't, I really don't need to fake fake that I have all this power only to prove myself wrong. The next thing that happens is your nervous system gets out of fight or flight. And when your nervous system is safe, um you actually start to when your nervous system is safe, one of the things that happens is you're not like I need to protect myself. So you have space for people to show up, for opportunities to show up, for aligned things to just start working out faster and easier. And the third thing is you actually, when you release control, you do what's called um a prediction error in the brain. Because remember, the the brain is always predicting that there's a threat when you're when you live with your control addiction. Your brain is always predicting that there's gonna be a threat, something's gonna fail. You gotta be on guard. And so when you're like, actually, you know, I'm not gonna do that today, I'm not gonna do that anymore. Um, you actually have what's called an identity pattern interrupt in the brain, it's called a prediction error because your brain's like, wait, that's how we always did things. What are you doing? And so now, when it realizes, oh, you're not we're not doing that anymore, the reticular activating system, instead of always scanning for failure as usual, scanning for things going wrong, your reticular activating system, when you release control and you cause this pattern interrupt in your brain, what starts to happen is your reticular activating system actually starts scanning for good things, for opportunities for the right people. This is why it becomes easier. Let me know in the comments. Is this landing, like, is it worth it? So let me just ask you point blank. Now that I've told you, if you release control, you access the mind of God, you get out of fight or flight, your nervous system, you start to feel safe. That that constant ache in your shoulders and your back and your head hurts all the time, and you're exhausted and burned out, like that goes away. It goes away. You feel safe, right? And if you get out of control, your reticular activating system, the part of your brain that scans and brings things to you, it actually now starts scanning for things to work out. I realize it's getting a little noisy here, so I'm gonna move. So it actually starts scanning for things to work out. Bottom line is everything gets easier. Is that worth it to you to release control? Would that make it worth it? It is for sure worth it to me. That's my that is my one cents, two cents, all of that. I'm like, no, I'm not, I'm not choosing. I don't need to, I don't so need to be in control. I don't need that power. It's fake. But you let me know what is that worth it for you? And then um, last but not least, the 30-second hack. This works for me, hands down every time. Every single time I feel that sensation in my shoulders, I feel exhausted. I feel I like go to this. So step number one, make sure you're writing it down, write in the comments so everybody watching the replay can see it. Number one, you want to name it. The first thing I do when I sense that I'm in that energy is I say, I'm trying to control things. I just, I literally just say it out loud. I just stop and I maybe sometimes I'm at my desk, I just stop and I go, Oh, Jesus, I'm trying to control things. What is wrong with you, Tasha? I'm trying to control things. Then I literally I just take a breath, I take a deep breath in and I exhale, and the exhale is my release. I'm just like, I am releasing the need to control things. I actually allow my body the act of exhaling to be my demonstration of I don't want to do this. I release the need to control things, and then I say these words, and this is what happened, this is where the power really lies in this 30-second hack. I say, I allow myself to release, I allow myself to receive support in this situation. I allow myself to receive support, I allow myself to receive guidance, I allow myself to receive help, whatever it is. Because here's the thing: we have free will. When you are in control, your free will, all of your attention and your choice in free will is saying, keep giving me stuff that makes me stay in the need to control. When you say, when you exercise your free will and you say, No, actually, I want to receive help. I want to receive support. I cannot like we would be on here for days and months if I were to tell you every time I say that, that is when I get the breakthrough. That is when stuff just shows up that makes no sense. Like the people that can do it better than me show up. Um, an aligned opportunity, an idea for my next seven figures. It just happens. It just happens because I am not in my little tiny self trying to hold on to power to control things when I actually cannot. So the hack again, 30 seconds. Number one, just name it. Say, I'm trying to control things, breathe and exhale, release the need to control. And number three, just ask. Ask. I am open to receive help and support. Hopefully, you all got that. Last thing I'm gonna say before I go is this. I love having these conversations, and I think most women, when we can have real conversations like this, this is when we move the needle. So I'm about to go on tour all over the US, Jamaica, and France. First stop is LA, April 7th. We're about to close registration pretty soon. That's happening, what, what, two weeks? So if you live in LA or you know someone who lives in LA, we're actually meeting in Santa Ana, which is on the outskirts of LA, down by the beach, I think. Um, please come, come. Or if you don't live in LA, but you have friends in LA, tell them to come. This is an evening where we're gonna be in person and we're gonna access your wealth identity. Here's one of the things that I know we need to be together now more than ever. What I realize is we're spending more time being directed in our lives by the social media algorithms. We're talking more to Chat GPT than we're talking to other humans or talking to ourselves. I realized the other day, I'm like, when was the last time I had a conversation with Tasha? It's like, right? When was the other like I'm creating this space so that for two hours we literally just shut the world out and we just be women who are willing to say, I want to spend some time steeped in ease and having conversations that light me up and expand me around wealth. I want to invite you to come out and join me. So LA first, then I'm going to DC, Maryland area, New York City, Austin, Texas, Jamaica, and France. Type the word tour in the comments. Check your DMs so that you can register. And if that doesn't work for you, just go directly to the page, which is tashachen.com forward slash tour. The dates for registration closing are coming up soon because we're literally almost in April, right? So make sure you get yourself registered if you've been thinking about coming. And if you know anyone in those areas, would you please consider sharing this event with them? Okay, from the beautiful, amazing where I am. I want to, I want you all to. Guess in the comments. Where do you think I am? It's not Jamaica. I know it's going to be your first place. It's not Jamaica, but it might be just as beautiful. Let me know where you all think I am. I love you. Have a great Monday. Have an amazing rest of the week. Personally, I've run away because I need some time and space, and I need to just be like, all right, I want to get out of trying to control every single moment of my life and just be. I highly recommend it. Bye, everyone. Have a great week. Take care.