Why your brain needs permission to feel wealthy

Why your brain needs permission to feel wealth

Your brain is waiting for the roadmap or the 7-step plan. It's waiting for permission.

In this episode of the Wealthy Me Podcast, Tasha Chen breaks down the real reason high-performing women stay stuck at the same income level, and it has nothing to do with knowing how. 

Through the lens of neuroscience, she explains how unhealed money traumas quietly hijack your brain's GPS, keeping you safe, same, and stuck in a loop that no strategy can solve.
You'll discover what's really happening in your brain when you stand in front of something you want and talk yourself out of it. 

You'll understand cognitive dissonance, cognitive mapping, and prediction error in a way that finally makes sense of why your desires and your results keep colliding. And you'll walk away knowing exactly what your brain needs to stop rerouting you away from wealth.

If you've been chasing the how, this is the episode that changes everything.

Topics covered: money trauma, wealth identity, nervous system safety, cognitive dissonance, brain permission, financial expansion, wealth mindset for high earners

Subscribe for weekly conversations on deserving wealth with ease.

0:00 Why your brain doesn't need the how

1:46 The Saks Fifth Avenue story: when you wouldn't, not couldn't

4:32 What money traumas actually are

9:48 The neuroscience: how your brain tags money as unsafe

11:36 Cognitive dissonance and why the how feels logical

13:44 Cognitive mapping: your brain's GPS and why it reroutes

16:06 The solution: prediction error and brain permission

17:42 Real client examples of permission in action

20:06 Three practices to give your brain permission

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

If you're an ambitious woman who's done everything right, the career, the family, the responsibilities, but still you feel like there's something missing. There's a sense of not quite being fulfilled. You are in the right place. I'm Tasha, serial seven-figure entrepreneur and founder of Dare Wealthy Me, co-founder of the Science of Getting Rich Academy. After years of overworking and proving people-pleasing, I finally discovered the truth. Real wealth, it does not come from hustle. It comes from identity. Now I show women like you how to combine science and spirit to create wealth with ease, joy, and freedom. Because this is your time, your wealthy era. Welcome to the wealthy me podcast. Hey everyone. It does not. I'm gonna say that again. You think your brain needs to get you to figure out how to get to six or seven figures, and it doesn't. The reason that you are stuck, the reason I've watched high-performing women for the last 12 years stay stuck at a number when they want to grow, has nothing to do with how to get there. Actually, it's more about money traumas. In the next 20 minutes, I'm going to talk about how money traumas has literally been causing you to stay the same, to stay safe, to stay stuck. And it actually, it is the thing driving the bus to your next six, seven figures. It is not what you think it is, which is how do I get to multiple six or seven figures? So we're going to talk about that this morning. Welcome to the Wealthy Me podcast. I'm Tasha, your host, and every week we gather together as high-performing women and we have conversations around deserving wealth with ease. And as always, I inspire everyone, jump in the comments and type. So you start creating those new neuropathways, get your brain to start accepting I deserve wealth with ease. I love the chat. Everybody watching, go ahead and type it, whether you're watching live or watching the replay. I deserve wealth with ease. This morning I'm going to tell you a story. Hang on a quick second. I'm going to see what's going on over here. There we go. I deserve wealth with ease. So this morning I'm going to tell you a quick story. I'm going to bring you with me to the mall, to Saks, Fifth Avenue. And I'm going to tell you this moment that I had standing in front of a shirt that I wanted to buy. I wanted to buy the shirt. I could buy the shirt, but I would not. Not that I didn't. I wouldn't. And there's a difference. And I'm going to explain to you what was going on in my brain because once you hear and you understand, you're going to see how this is happening in your brain too. So come along with me. We are walking into Sax Fist Avenue. We are walking down the aisle. We see the most beautiful I have to have it shirt. Our eyes lock, right? It's me and you. You want this shirt. I want the shirt. Our eyes lock on the shirt. You start imagining wearing it, the compliments you're going to get, the way it's going to just like highlight your skin tone. It is all things. Literally, you haven't even gotten to it. You can feel how wealthy it's going to feel on your skin. So here we go. We walk over to the shirt. Oh my gosh, you touch it. It is literally decadent. It feels more wealthy than you were imagining. Now your sense is like, right? You are gone. You were like, oh my gosh, this is the shirt. I've got to have this shirt. And what do we do next? We turn over the price tag. You with me? We turn over the price tag, and instantaneously we see the price without even consciously processing. Here is what happens in that moment. You literally hear your brain say you can't have this. You cannot do that. You cannot have this shirt. There's you like look around, like who's telling me I can't have it? Right? It's only me here. Who's saying I can't have it? Why can't I have it? You can't do that. That wouldn't be responsible. And so in that moment, what is the thing that got triggered? You had a desire, you wanted it badly. You you and I are looking at this shirt and we are visualizing, imagining, we're doing all the things we have to have this shirt. And then we go over to the shirt, turn to the price tag, and then we say, you cannot have it. And I want you to hear this distinction. You know, I'm saying you say or I say, this is your brain processing in milliseconds. And so, what was it that triggered that thought? Money traumas. So I'm going to just tell you really quickly in that moment, a couple of my past money traumas that got triggered. Number one, as a little girl, I wanted some pair of shoes. I asked my mom for the shoes. She asked me why I wanted it. And I said, because everybody else has one and I want one. She said, Oh, well, then that's the reason why you're not going to get it. Right. And so bless her heart. She thought this was a teaching moment. But what I heard and what traumatized me was, I want something and I cannot have it. I need to have a valid reason. Like the reason I gave her wasn't valid enough. So I need to have like a valid reason for why I want what I want. And so I remember being traumatized because everybody had these shoes. They were, they weren't expensive, they were no big deal, but I didn't have them. And the reason I didn't have them in my little kids' mind was I didn't have a valid, responsible enough reason for why I should have them. Fast forward, I'm an adult. I've I have to follow Chapter 11 bankruptcy. You all know the story. What does my brain conclude? You're not responsible with money, right? So here we are standing in front of this shirt that costs hundreds of dollars, and my brain is going, you can't do that. Remember, like this is frivolous. This is irresponsible. And remember, you are that chick who followed chapter 11 bankruptcy, which means you're not responsible with money. And then there is the like, you're not the kind of woman who buys shirts like these. You're in Saxfield Avenue, you don't even belong here. Girl, go back to Walmart and target. Literally, my brain is processing. You're not the woman that shops in Saxfield Avenue. You don't buy this kind of clothes. And the ultimate, what have you done to deserve this, Tasha? Like, what did you do this week? What did you do this month? What did you do this year? And literally, my brain is processing all of this in milliseconds. I don't know this is going on. All I know is my brain is saying, you cannot have this, you cannot do this, you shouldn't do it. Do you notice though? Not once in this entire process did my brain go to, how can I get this? Not once in that moment was I standing there going, how can I have this? And that's the point that I want to share with you because I have watched high-performing women for 12 to 15 years stay stuck on their belief that why they're stuck is because they don't know how to get what they want. They don't know how to get to six figures, they don't know how to get to multiple six figures, they don't know the how. They don't have the roadmap, they haven't figured it out. Well, I'm gonna tell you straight up um, you are the one that's obsessed with how your brain does not need how you need how. Your brain, the machine, the processing center, the problem solver, it does not need how. It does not need to know how. Not once in that moment where I was faced with a desire. And remember, I could shell out the $600 for the shirt. I could. I had the $600, I could buy it. But what I want you to hear is not it wasn't that I couldn't buy it, it's that I wouldn't. Literally, my body would not cause my hand to go in my wallet and take out the credit card, even if I was gonna buy it on credit. Like my body physically would not let me buy this shirt. And so, how does this relate to your business? Think about your desires for your next level of success, whether that's to get to six figures, multiple six figures, seven figures, whatever it is. We all have this burning desire for that next level, but something is getting in the way. And what you have yourself believing is it's just that I need to know how. How is not what has you stuck. Let me tell you what it is, money traumas, and let me tell you what you need to solve it. So, what are money traumas? Money traumas, I want you to think back to your entire life's experience where all the moments that you had a traumatic event where, or let's not even say it was traumatic, because you don't realize at the time that it's traumatic, it was an intense emotional experience and money was involved. And when you had that moment, you created what's called, you know, we have PTSD. Well, there's post-traumatic financial disorder. So in that moment, your brain, watching your parents fight over money, or like me when I had the chapter 11 bankruptcy, or the time you were told no, you can't have something with money, or you watched people in your family struggle financially, whatever it was, you have all of these memories stored up, right? All of these memories stored up that are money are involved, and it has an emotional, intense emotional reaction for you. Your brain stores that as I need to protect her from this thing because the emotional response signals you did not feel safe. Okay, so what happens when you've had all of these experiences in your past? We call them money traumas. And in the past, I used to teach about this. See if you can find one of the videos. There's 17 different money traumas. And I'm sure I stopped teaching about this maybe two years, three years ago. If I went back to it, I'm sure I've identified a few more. But there are just 17 different experiences in my own life and the lives of my clients that I have watched. So here's a big one that comes up um divorce. You love this person, you built a life, you fought over money in the end. That's the thing that caused you to get divorced. You think you don't have trauma from that? Yeah. You watched your parents fight over money, you wanted things, and they told you, no. You think you don't have trauma for that? Yes, you do. The big one that I see with women is religious guilt. You are very spiritual, you have strong religious beliefs, but part of being in your faith walk is you shouldn't have the desire for money. I literally had one of my goddesses say to me, Oh my gosh, how can I write intentions asking God for money? Like I have been raised. What do you think God is? Your sugar daddy? And so every time she wants to pray for money or ask for money, the trauma gets triggered. Like you're a bad girl, you're wrong. You shouldn't want to do this, right? Let me know if this is landing. Those of you that are watching, let me know if this is landing in the comments. Let me know if you're like seeing how this is kind of playing out for you. So let me tell you the neuroscience behind what happens now. When you have a desire for something that your brain has tagged as something it needs to keep you safe from. So what happens is what's called cognitive dissonance. This is where you have a strong desire for something, but you also have a competing belief that you shouldn't have it. You couldn't have it. It's wrong for you to even want it, right? So cognitively, you are your brain inside is kind of like at war with itself. So now when you have this traumatic experience in your past, you have a desire that is linked to that trauma, you want it, but you your brain is like, no, you shouldn't have it. This isn't safe. What happens next is that your logical brain tries to process and tries to come up with a let's make sense of this. And so your logical brain is what presents. Well, you need if you need if only you knew how to do this, if only you knew, if only you had a plan, the seven-step plan to your next six and seven figures, right? Makes sense. Logically, it makes sense. And so what do you do? Because logically, that satiates this cognitive dissonance that you have going on. You hang on to that. You're like, yeah, it's the how. Ladies, I'm telling you, it's been 12 to 15 years I've been doing this work. I've watched myself and I've watched a ton of women stay stuck because they need the how. That's just your logical part of your brain trying to make sense of this dissonance that you have or trying to override the trauma. And I can tell you that's the long road. I'm not saying it's not gonna work. I'll never say something doesn't work. I'm just telling you there's a short way and there's a long way, right? And that's definitely the long way. So then what happens after this logic um part of your logical part of your brain tries to say you need the how is there's this other thing called cognitive mapping. And this is where think of it as a GPS. You want to go to a destination, and your brain is like, okay, let me put in the route, right? Let me put in the coordinates so I can take her there. Well, my friends, your brain is always going to reroute to the trauma that it knows, and it is always going to take you to the place that it thinks is safe. Your brain cannot take you to a destination it has never been before, and it definitely cannot take you to a destination, it doesn't think it's safe. It is going to reroute. So, this is what I call when I teach my goddesses and my high-level clients, I talk about a lot about the brain loop. And just to get you to understand, you are thinking it's how. That's a loop. And this is what it looks like. You have a desire for wealth, you have a desire for things and experiences that make you feel wealthy. You want to grow your business, you want to attract next level clients, you want to do all of these wonderful and amazing things that are gonna result in you having more money. Okay, great. So you you give that to the brain as a problem it needs to solve. Immediately, the traumas associated with money get triggered. Then you have this cognitive dissonance where your brain is going, uh, I know you want it, but we have all these things stored in the library here that says you really can't, it's not safe. Then your logical brain steps in and it's like, okay, but but if only we knew how we could override that belief that we shouldn't have it. If only we knew how and we had a plan and we could work really hard and we could do all the right things, right? And then what happens? Your brain goes to, okay, well, let's map it and take her there. And then it goes, oops, we don't know this. We don't, we don't have a we don't have the coordinates for this. So it reroutes back to the trauma around money that says, yeah, wherever we're gonna take her, it's it's to keep her safe, same, and stuck. I mean, that's the reality, but to your brain, it this is a good thing that it's doing, right? And so you're like spinning your wheels, and then you get frustrated, and then you're like, Oh, I just want it, I want it, and you go back to desire, and then what happens? You just stay in that loop. So, how do we solve this? Everybody ready? How do we solve this? Who's ready to solve it? Who wants the solution? Because I I can talk all day about how we're staying stuck, and your brain doesn't need the how. But let us talk about how to solve it. The solution is what's called a prediction error. Your brain does not need to know how, your brain needs permission. Your brain does not need to know how to get you to six, seven, multiple seven figures. Your brain doesn't need the how. That is that is what you think. What your brain actually needs is permission. It needs to go through a process that says taking you there is going to keep you safe. Right now, it is not mapping for that because taking you there to your brain is going to cause problems. And what why is your brain thinking it's gonna cause problems? Because it's pulling from the files that are tagged as money traumas, right? So in that moment, this is where you know what I did? I bought the shirt. I bought the shirt because I needed to create that prediction error where my brain was saying, you can't, you shouldn't, it's irresponsible. And I said, I'm gonna do it just to show you it's actually we're safe doing this. We're safe being wealthy, we're safe doing wealthy things, we're safe receiving our next level of income, we're safe growing our business and having more money. Like money is safe. Your brain is waiting for permission, and there's some things that you can do to help it. You know, I think about one of my clients, she has a great business, and literally, you know, this is why a coach will help you because a coach will be able to help you see when you're in this loop, struggling to figure out the how. And actually, the solution is permission. And so, in my coaching with one of one of my clients, the permission she needed was just to charge more. She kept trying to reroute to charging less. Like literally, she was fighting me on the phone for why it was valid to charge less. And I just kept giving her permission to charge more and allowing her brain to reorganize, you can receive this and it can be safe for you. Another one of my clients, same thing. What she needed permission to charge for the thing that is easy and natural to her. She she was telling me about the things that she's amazing at. And then she says, Oh, yeah, that I charge $200 for that. I just throw it in as a bonus on my program. Literally, I was like, that is the thing you should be leading with. That's your high-ticket offer. That's your natural gift and most powerful talent. That's what you should be receiving the most amount of abundance in exchange for. And once she got that permission, she opened up a $25,000 program. And literally, in the first month of working together this year, she achieved a third of her annual goal. We just spoke a few weeks ago. She's pretty much almost hit that, and we had to increase her annual goal. All she needed, her brain, her brain, not her, her brain, needed permission. Another one of my clients, same thing. Running a very successful business, not keeping any of the money for the things that she wanted and desired. So working really hard and everybody else benefiting except her. All she needed, permission. You have permission to keep more of the money you earn for you and the things that you want. Another one of my clients, what did she need? Permission to dream bigger. She was making good money already. She thought she was at the top of the ladder financially. And as we kept working together, I realized, oh my gosh, like her brain needs to know it's gonna be okay to ask for more. And literally in our first year together, she manifested a million dollars. So I want you to think about what is it that your brain, you are stuck thinking your brain needs how when your brain actually needs permission. It actually needs permission. I'm gonna tell you three things that will really help you, besides having a coach to help you with your blind spots, right? Because sometimes you can't see the forest or the trees. I need a coach because sometimes I still like with the shirt, I could identify what was happening. But in my business, sometimes I can't see when I'm in the loop trying to figure out the how when what I really need is permission. Right? So a coach, healing your money traumas, number one. Number two, visualizing, because when you visualize, you actually give your brain the opportunity to see the thing that you want and to see it and feel safe to process you having it. Now your brain goes to work for you. And then the other thing is nervous system safety practices. This is where it's specifically related to money. So I've been thinking, you know how I think these thoughts, and I'm finishing the we're on day what, 21? We're on day 22 of the dear wealthy me writing practice that we've been doing on Substack. And I'm trying to figure out what do I want to do next? What would really serve everyone powerfully? And so I'm thinking about these three things. Do we want to talk about healing money traumas? Do we want to talk about deservingness? Do we want to talk about nervous system safety practices? Do we want to talk about visualizing? Which one of those, let me know. Type in the chat. You're like, Tasha, if we could spend some time with those practices for you know a few weeks, that would be amazing. So, what do you, what do you, what would support you the most, having heard this whole conversation about your brain's actually seeking permission? Is it you want to learn how to visualize a little bit more? Is it that you want to learn more about healing money traumas? Is it that you want to do some time with deservingness? Is it that you want to learn nervous system safety practices with money? Let me know in the comments. And as you're typing, let me know in the comments. And as you're typing, here's what I want you to do. Um, type the word reminder in the comments. Type the word in reminder in the comments because when I do decide what it's gonna be, I'm gonna send you a message and it is going to let you know when you know we're starting. Just like we did when we started the 31-day Dare Wealthy Me practice that we've been doing this this month, PS. Those of you that did the AI prompt and shared your fire picture last week, I am here for it. I am loving seeing everyone's fire financially independent, recreationally employed. Last week I told you how to get the prompt. So if you didn't get it last week, go watch last week's video, type the prompt that was there, and it will give you the link to come join me in Substack where I posted how to create that image, which is also a part of helping you visualize. Seeing Napoleon Hill said, if you can see it and believe it, you must achieve it. This is also another cheat code, like a Wells code. You're struggling to figure out how when truly your brain is like, just show me that it would be safe for you to have it. This is why we do these practices, this is why we allow ourselves, because I believe this the true code, if you can see it, you will believe it. Seeing is believing. If you can see it, you will believe it. So let me jump back over here. I see a lot of visualization. If you want to know when it all pulls together, type the word reminder so you get notified. All right. Go have an amazing week. And remember, I told you it's not how that your brain is waiting for, it's permission. All right. Well, love you all. Let's grant ourselves permission to be wealthy. See you next week. Bye, everyone.