Your Weirdness Is Your Magic: A Midlife Woman’s Guide to Writing Her Own Creed

You can recite everyone else's beliefs — their rules, their idea of a good woman. But your own? This week we go underneath the rules, down to the bedrock they've been standing on: your credo. What you actually believe.

Because your quirks are your brand and your weirdness is your magic — and when you don't know what you believe, you end up living by everyone else's, quietly becoming the supporting character in your own life. That's Good Girl Ghosting at the foundational level. Let's write your own creed instead: three true things, in your own words.

If you've felt lost or foggy about who you even are after years of taking care of everyone else, this is your gentle, joyful way home.

Because when you don’t know what you

believe, you live by everyone else’s — and quietly become the supporting character in your own life. That’s Good Girl Ghosting at the foundational level. Let’s write your own creed instead — three true things, in your own words.

IN THIS EPISODE:

- Why, when you don’t know what you believe, you live by everyone else’s

- The credo that changed everything: “I deserve to be the leading lady”

- Joy is a belief too — God is honored when you play and dance and giggle

- The everyday fairy tale (four generations and one silly beach ball)

- Your Rebel Practice: write three beliefs, in your own words

CHAPTERS

0:32  The Creed I said for years before I wrote my own

2:27  When you don’t know what you believe, you live by everyone else’s

1:45  Good Girl Ghosting at the foundational level

1:56  “I deserve to be the leading lady” (The Holiday)

2:27  The belief that does the heavy lifting: introspection

3:01  Joy is a belief too — God is joy

4:05  The everyday fairy tale: four generations + a beach ball

4:37  Our quirks are our brand, our weirdness is our magic

5:13  Replace the inner critic with compassion

5:42  Your Rebel Practice: write three beliefs

6:31  Permission slips + your pinkie-toe step 

A LINE TO KEEP:  “When you don’t know what you believe, you live by everyone else’s. You were never the supporting character. You’re the leading lady — you always were.”

 Start here / work with me:
 → Free "Are You a Good Girl Ghost?" quiz: www.Rachelharrisonline.com/ggg-quiz
 → The Rebel Response Mini Kit — the in-the-moment words in your pocket: RachelHarrisOnline.com/kit
 → Book a Rebel Hour (1:1) with me: https://rachelharrisonline.com/work-with-me
 → Substack, Goodbye, Good Girl: www.rachelharrisonline.com/goodbyegoodgirl
→ Instagram: @RachelHarrisOnline 

- Free Play: REBEL JOY Card Deck — Romanticize your life and reclaim your light — one tiny rebellion at a time. Seven print-and-keep cards, each with one brave, joyful prompt. Pick a card, set a 60-second timer, and play. Start Playing Again! https://rachel-harris-online.kit.com/72c327f4a4 

Are YOU A Joyful Rebel? https://rachelharrisonline.com/joyful-rebel

Music licensed through Soundstripe. Code: PXBUCSFZLQOBFCQB

Transcript

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SPEAKER_00 0:00

That's the everyday fairy tale. That's the whole point. I believe our quirks are our brand and our weirdness is our magic. And the more I let my joy lead, the more I believe it. And I'm done pretending the ridiculous parts aren't some of the best parts. If you feel like you've been living on autopilot for so long that you don't even really know what you believe anymore, this one's for you. Today we're writing your credo, the bedrock you stand on when everything else gets loud and crazy. I grew up Catholic, so every week we'd stand up together and we'd say the Apostles' Creed, the Nicene Creed, beautiful, ancient words, I believe in God, the Father Almighty. Words someone else wrote long ago that we all stand together and say in one voice, proclaiming our faith, what we believe. Not long ago, I caught myself wondering, well, what else do I believe? Not to replace any of that, but just to add my own. If I had to write my own creed, the things that I believe so deeply that they hold me up when the world gets loud and shaky and crazy, what would be on that list? Turns out, I never once stopped to ask. In the rebel session on rules, we questioned and rewrote the rules that you live by. Today, we're gonna go underneath those rules to the bedrock that they're standing on. Your credo, what you believe. Because here's what I now know. When you don't know what to believe, you live by everyone else's. So let's start believing. And don't worry, I'm gonna refrain from singing journey. You borrow other people's convictions, their rules, their idea of a good woman, and you quietly become the supporting character in your own life. That's good girl ghosting at the foundational level. Not just disappearing from a room, disappearing from your own beliefs. So let me read you a few of my beliefs. And I want to start with the one that changed everything. I believe I deserve to be the leading lady. There's a line in one of my favorite movies, I'm sure you know it, The Holiday, where Iris is told that in the movie of her life, she'd been playing the best friend instead of the lead. And oof, right? That was me for decades. The supporting character in my own life, in my own story, the helper, the good girl in the background. But I believe that I'm the main character of my own life now. We only get one. And right under that credo is the belief that actually does the heavy lifting. I believe in regular introspection to become who God created me to be and to unbecome the fake, people-pleasing self that I built. Because I did build her out of rules, expectations, roles, everyone else's rules and expectations. And so much of the rebel practice is just taking off the masks, slipping off the roles, and meeting, sometimes for the very first time, the woman underneath all of it. Now let me read you the ones that make me grin because joy is a belief too. I believe God is joy. I used to tell my girls that God is joy and love and that he created laughter. So when we're being especially loving, he giggles because it makes him so happy. I still believe that with my whole heart. Which brings me to another thing that I taught them. And joy nugget number two. God is honored when you play and dance and giggle. Another belief? I believe that God creates a treasure hunt for us every single day, hiding little glittering fingerprints, signs that he's with us, that you're not alone, waiting if we'll only slow down long enough to look. I literally picture a treasure map. And when I look back over my day, there they are. Little God moments. I believe in creating everyday fairy tales, inviting whimsy and joy and romance and play into ordinary life. And not just the flirty kind of romance, although, yeah, let's do that too. But I'm talking the Victorian novel kind, beauty and poetry and wonder, because you were never, ever too old to play. One of my favorite memories in the whole world is a game of volleyball with a beach ball, one Easter. My little brother, he's seven years younger than me, and he was tiny then, all the way up to my great-grandfather, who was in his late 80s at the time. We were all out there in the front yard without a net, just batting around a beach ball. Four generations, one silly beach ball, and I can still hear all of that laughter in my head. And it's still one of the most beautiful, wonderful sounds I own. That's the everyday fairy tale. That's the whole point. I believe our quirks are our brand, and our weirdness is our magic. And the more I let my joy lead, the more I believe it. I apologize to trash cans when I bump into them out loud and sincerely. I talk to my AI like it's a friend. I thank it, and I ask for dance parties. It's a little ridiculous. It also makes life fun. And I'm done pretending the ridiculous parts aren't some of the best parts. I believe words hold power. And the best gift that we give ourselves and each other is replacing criticism with compassion. Because the person we're usually cruelest to is the one in the mirror. Joy nugget number three, replace the inner critic with self-compassion and love. So if your credo only has room for one belief to start, let it be that one. Your rebel minute is also your next joy nugget. You were never the supporting character in your own life. You're the leading lady. You always were. And because it's my favorite movie, I'm gonna say that again. You were never the supporting character in your own life. You're the leading lady and you always were. So here is your rebel practice. You're going to start your own I believe list. Your pinky toe step, just three. Three beliefs to start, not 30. And if you don't know where to begin, ask yourself one of these. What would I defend? Even if I were the only one in the whole entire room or world who believed it. What do I most want the people I love to know is true? What do I come back to when everything else gets loud? Then write it with the simplest words there are. Here's your stem. I believe blank. That's it. In fact, writing that stem unlocked a lot of mine for me. No theology degree required, no performance, just the quiet, true things that you already know in your bones. Write three, read them back. And if you notice your eyes sting a little or your chest grow warm, that's how you know they're yours. And here are your permission slips. You're allowed to believe things in your own words. You're allowed to be the leading lady of your own life. You're allowed to believe that joy is holy and play is prayer, and your quirks are the point and your brand. You're allowed to unbecome the version of you that everyone else's beliefs built. And you're allowed to give yourself the same compassion that you hand out so freely to everyone else. If you're wanting to reclaim joy in your life right now, go to the show notes where I have a link to my favorite rebel tool, the Rebel Joy card deck. Joyful prompts to get you playing again. There's also my free guide, Five Moments You're Abandoning Yourself and You Don't Even Realize It. If you've been with me for the last few months, look at what we've built together. You learned your personality. You read your role models like a map. You named your values, you wrote your own rules and rewrote and flat out erased ones that didn't serve. You found your joy list and now your credo. That, my friend, is an inner compass. Something to come back to every time the world gets loud or crazy or tries to hand you someone else's script. This week, write three things you believe in your words, in your voice, and read them out loud, like the leading lady that you've always been. I'll meet you back here.