PLAY THERAPIST Explains What Actually Happens in Play Therapy | #TRIBE Talk Ep. 25

In this episode of TRIBE Talk, we go beyond the surface to explore what really happens in play therapy. Guided our play therapist Aleisha, we unpack how play becomes a child’s natural language allowing them to express thoughts, emotions, and experiences that they may not yet have the words for. This episode offers a clear, practical insight into what sessions look like, how therapists engage with children, and why play is such a powerful therapeutic tool.

Through a trauma-informed lens, we explore how play therapy supports emotional processing, regulation, and healing. Whether you are a parent, carer, or professional, this conversation provides a grounded understanding of how play therapy creates a safe space for children to explore, make sense of their experiences, and begin to feel more in control.

You can also check out this episode where Alisha Explains Play Therapy: https://youtu.be/OerBO-ucQyw

Episode Highlights:

• What actually happens during a play therapy session
• Why play is a child’s primary form of communication
• The role of the play therapist in guiding and responding
• How play therapy supports emotional expression and processing
• Supporting children who struggle to talk about their experiences
• How play therapy can help children with trauma histories
• What progress can look like in play therapy over time

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

Welcome to Tribe Talk everybody. Today we're talking about what play therapy actually is and how it helps children who experience trauma. Welcome to Tribe Talk, the space for parents, carers and practitioners to explore trauma-informed care in practice. So today I'm joined by Alicia, who is our play therapist here at the Behaviour Clinic, and today we're going to be talking about what play therapy is and how it helps children who've experienced trauma. So Alicia, tell us a little bit about yourself to start us off.

SPEAKER_00 0:36

So my name is Alicia Thomas. I am a play therapist. I think so wild. Yeah, I love it. I love my job. I love play therapy. I I find it fascinating, and I was really excited to do today because I love talking about it. It gets me like buzzed to talk about it, which is really nice. Well that that is exactly what we want. Alicia, to start us off, can you tell us what play therapy is? Yes, so it's a it's essentially counselling for for children. It's a creative therapy and it's uh it's a way that they communicate their feelings, they explore their experiences, and they do that using lots of creative materials, toys, symbolism, um, with the help of a play therapist, somebody who's trained in play therapy.

SPEAKER_01 1:30

I really like the way that you put that is counselling for children, because I think everybody knows what counselling is, you can relate to counselling, but um actually when people ask about play therapy, because because I work here um and I I know what play therapy is, but lots of people out there don't actually know what play therapy is. So counselling for children is a lovely succinct way to put it.

SPEAKER_00 1:52

And I think, well, I know counselling is very verbal, isn't it? You you talk back and forth with your therapist. Play therapy, sometimes that room is silent, sometimes there are no words, lots of the times there are words, but they're very minimal. It's a lot of the time me doing lots of reflecting with the child, but there doesn't have to be words. It is very much about symbolism, about the things we're using, lots of curiosity, lots of wonders. Um, yeah, but it meets the child where they're at with their developmental stage.

SPEAKER_01 2:24

Brilliant. So, why do children actually need play therapy? Why play therapy as opposed to counselling?

SPEAKER_00 2:31

Because they they don't actually process the same way that adults do, so as we grow, we we obviously gain all of this vocabulary, but children don't yet have that, but they still have the same big feelings, they still have all the the trickiness inside. So play therapy is is an outlet for that. It it's a way that they can manage, it's accessible for them, and they're able to deal with that trickiness instead of waiting until they're at of an age where they can verbalise. So they can they can come in the room, they can play with the play kit, um, they can have the therapist alongside them, they just figure lots of things out then.

SPEAKER_01 3:06

So it's essentially a way of expressing themselves without words.

SPEAKER_00 3:09

Yeah, like I said, sometimes it's completely silent, but the work is still happening, that deep work is still there for them. Yeah. Don't need the words. So when we see a child who is maybe dysregulated, we see that behaviour first, but in play therapy, we see the challenge, we see the behaviour or we hear the behaviour about it, but we try to look beneath it. So the whole playroom and the whole process is about trying to understand what's beneath that behaviour, not just for us to understand, but for us to try and help the child understand.

SPEAKER_01 3:42

Yeah, so that fits in precisely really with trauma-informed care, because with trauma-informed care, we're looking, we might see the presenting behaviour, but we're looking underneath that behaviour at the trauma that the young person's experienced. And in the playroom, I'm guessing that a child might be playing out some of those traumatic experiences. So you're seeing underneath what might what what every adult on the outside might be seeing in terms of behaviour or emotional distress, you're seeing what's underneath that.

SPEAKER_00 4:12

Yeah, and helping the child understand, you know, everyone sees this level of what you present, but why is that there? Yeah. And if they then understand why that is there, then they can start to affect change in themselves if that's what they want.

SPEAKER_01 4:28

So it fits perfectly with trauma-informed care, which is why we deliver play therapy as part of our tri-brain worker model. Yeah. So what type of things can play therapy actually help with?

SPEAKER_00 4:39

So many things. So I think the the very obvious is trauma and the the big things that may happen to a child. Um, any emotional distress like anxiety, any social struggles that they're having in school, family separations, bereavement, there's lots and lots of different issues. Self-esteem, it can it can help any challenge really that they come come with.

SPEAKER_01 5:06

Yeah, and so just thinking about um some of the referrals we have here, and when we're thinking about how we allocate those referrals, so we might uh we can have a referral for a range of needs. It can be developing social skills, developing emotional skills, um, processing domestic violence, uh, processing the loss of a sibling. Yeah um and we might come to you and say, Alicia, we've got this young person who's got this need in terms of the therapy that they require, and then you look at play therapy and think, right, which bits do I need to include and take, and how can I adapt that to meet the child's needs?

SPEAKER_00 5:43

Yeah, exactly. So I think that's actually a really good time to go on to the different types that there are.

SPEAKER_01 5:49

Of play therapy.

SPEAKER_00 5:50

Yeah, there are there are different types.

SPEAKER_01 5:52

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 5:53

Um, I think lots of people who are listening or have heard of play therapy would have heard of non-directive. That's one type, then there's directive and then there's integrative. So here at the clinic we practice integratively, I practice integratively. Um, non-directive is where the child leads, takes the lead within that room, and that's kind of on the basis that the child knows where they need to go with their therapy. That's that's where that lies. Then directive is where the therapist would take a more active role. That could be as simple as including a book in the room to kind of guide that child towards where we feel would be beneficial for their healing. Then there's integrative where I like to think of it as fluid, where we we do the both and we weave between both. Um, but we also take in all of the other knowledge and all the other training that we have therapeutically, trauma, everything we know is for that child. So we're we're weaving in and out of all these different things. Um, so I see the referrals, and then I think which which approach is best, which is which is this child gonna manage, and how am I gonna set up that play room in a way that is gonna help?

SPEAKER_01 7:05

Yeah. And I think that's so interesting about integrative play therapy. It's not a well-known therapy, I would say integrative play therapy. Uh, the conversations I've had, there's many people who don't even know play therapists who don't know integrative play therapy exists, which is um which is is quite surprising. Um, but from my my work with you, uh, what I know is obviously we're a behavioural science-based organization, and you take the bits that apply to play therapy from behavioural science. So things that are behaviour analysts, for example, might be talking about, and then integrate them into the therapy room alongside the play therapy. Yeah. And also you did a talk recently on acceptance and commitment therapy and how you're integrating those techniques through play. So integrative therapy is really integrative, as in you can include pretty much anything of what the child needs. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 8:02

Because I th I do think it all falls under the same umbrella in helping a child, and I I strongly believe that not one approach will fit. Yeah. Sometimes in I feel that they do need a little bit of guidance, or sometimes we do need to step back. They they could use a little bit of acceptance and commitment therapy, and it all just weaves into this whole healing journey.

SPEAKER_01 8:24

And that's the beauty of integrative play therapy from my perspective, anyway, looking as an outsider who's not a play therapist.

SPEAKER_00 8:31

Yeah, yeah. I it's the way I practice, it's the way I feel is best for the kiddos that we work with.

SPEAKER_01 8:37

I think what might be really helpful for our listeners is to know a little bit more about what a play therapy session looks like. So can you describe that for us? What does it look like?

SPEAKER_00 8:48

Yeah, I think it's interesting to think about what people might think it looks like because you hear play therapy and I I don't know what what people actually think it looks like, but to begin with, there's a kit that every play therapist will have. I each one will look a little bit different, but the the kind of categories will be the same. So the the core categories are there regardless of what each individual item looks like. What's a category? So a category, so for example, we have clay, we have small world toys, we have um musical instruments, we have sand tray, we have creative bits like arts and crafts. There's like core essential items that are within a play kit. Okay.

SPEAKER_01 9:32

Yeah?

SPEAKER_00 9:33

And is there like a list of more essential items? There is, it's it's you know, it's as basic as arts and crafts, dolls house. Okay. Small world.

SPEAKER_01 9:42

See, I'm learning now, I didn't know that.

SPEAKER_00 9:44

Yeah, there's like a a a list of areas, I guess, that a child can go to to to help with different things.

SPEAKER_01 9:52

Okay, so the play kits will include all of those things. Should or some of them.

SPEAKER_00 9:57

J should should include all. Okay. I would argue. Yeah. But um yeah, so it's it's chosen very intentionally because each one can offer a child a different thing, even though um so say a child comes in with um challenges with self-esteem, it doesn't really matter where they go within the play kit, that that area will will serve that need, but they can all bring out different things. Yeah. And this is what I find absolutely fascinating. So, for example, music, I you know, you you talk to people, how can music help therapeutically in play therapy? We all have this internal rhythm that when we're dysregulated is is a bit offbeat and a bit off balance. In the playroom, we're using drums to to kind of get a baseline of what that beat feels like and what that calmness feels like. It's fascinating. Yeah, I love it.

SPEAKER_01 10:50

And fascinating from the perspective of um so I've heard of therapies like that before, um, but somebody would call that music therapy. But actually, as an integrative play therapist, you're integrating that within to play therapy.

SPEAKER_00 11:05

The knowledge from music therapy, the m the knowledge from art therapy, from so many different things, drama therapies when we're when we're doing role play, yeah. It's it's all within the playroom because it's a part of the play kit. Yeah, it's quite it's quite widespread. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 11:21

I've got a question which is probably going to interrupt your flow of things, but um so at the moment there's a lot of need for sensory-based support. Is that something that a play therapist can include within their support? Do you have sensory items?

SPEAKER_00 11:39

Yes, so there's this base kit which we're we're trained to have, but every play therapist will have their own little things, and I have no doubt every single one includes sensory items. Play being one of the you know the main parts and sand. But yeah, there are there's slime and there's there's so many different things because sensory need is a big thing. Um, and it's I'd I guess I'd call it part of the modern day play therapy kit because sensory the whole sensory world is is big right now, and we're starting to understand a lot more of it. So I would argue that that's actually a core item now within the kit.

SPEAKER_01 12:17

So you need to get the play therapy associations to uh alter their list of let's let's take a look at the core items.

SPEAKER_00 12:23

I my kit is a lot bigger than when I started. Yeah. Because you need so many things, so many different items. But in saying that, um, how a play therapy session looks as well is is about the therapist and what we do within that room. So as as much as you you need this kit, you learn throughout all of your training from my supervisor from from every play therapist, you are the most important toy in the room. So without your without your kit, you can still affect change because you are the most important toy. The approach that you take, you you need you. Which is nice, isn't it?

SPEAKER_01 13:00

Yeah, that is really nice. Um yeah. So back to our core question, which is what does a play therapy session look like? Can you describe that a little bit more? So we've talked about the play kit, we've talked about even if you don't have a play kit, the therapist being the most important toy in the room.

SPEAKER_00 13:19

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 13:20

If a parent is thinking, well what what actually happens?

SPEAKER_00 13:23

If you were to, I guess, look into a play therapy room and you were to kind of see me from a bird's eye view, what would you hear and what would you see? You'd hear a lot of reflecting. So I'm kind of like a little parrot in the room. I reflect what I see, I reflect what I hear, and that's all about curiosity and trying to get the child to to understand and connect to themselves. And it's not a definitive you are sad, it's a I'm wondering, are you sad? So the child can then be curious about that and figure out, well, am I actually sad in this moment? And they they can correct the therapist, they often do. Um, but it's it's a lot about reflecting. You you'll see that the therapist take an active role in noticing so many different things, and I wonder, I wonder, I wonder, just being curious about lots and lots of things. Um we pay co close attention to themes, so we're picking up on lots of different themes and we're connecting it to things that we we may have seen in previous sessions. I wonder if you'd like to do this next. We're constantly, our brains are constantly going and thinking about how do we how do we connect this to the challenge that that they're having, you know, the referral that they've come in with.

SPEAKER_01 14:41

Can you talk a little bit more about that? Because I think um maybe parents listening will be thinking, well, how does that help? How does that reflection help my child's process or make any changes?

SPEAKER_00 14:53

Because uh as as humans we do things, but we're not always self-aware. We do a lot of things without actually realising that we're doing it. So in the playroom, if if the therapist acts as a mirror, it gives the child a chance to go, oh, I didn't actually realise I was doing that. I didn't actually realise that that's what I was showing, and actually I I don't want to show that, so I'm gonna change it a little bit. Yeah. If that's a sand tray, for example, it just gives them a second to reflect on themselves and notice notice what we are noticing, essentially.

SPEAKER_01 15:27

It's a little bit what we um similar to what we talk about in life story, where um part of a life story approach is helping a child understand what was what wasn't safe and what is safe, and there can be a general assumption that children will just notice that if they weren't in a safe environment and now they are in a safe environment, they'll make that distinction. But actually, what we see is they don't. No. Um, so what you're saying is within the playroom, you're helping children identify the things that are already present for them, but make those connections that then helps them process or helps them make change.

SPEAKER_00 16:05

Pay attention to them, yeah, notice them because we we don't. You can't know what you what you don't know, you know. So it's it's the therapist's job to to verbalise it and bring it to the room. Yeah, let's let's make that allowed and let's accept it for what it is, and what are we gonna do with that?

SPEAKER_01 16:21

Lovely. So to finish up um our what is play therapy talk, uh, we have a question from a carer, and that question is Is play therapy only for younger children?

SPEAKER_00 16:35

No. I think that is a big misconception, and I I get it because play is in the name, but play therapy at its core is a creative therapy, and where where somebody needs help, where they may not have the words, they may not have access to the words that they need, a creative therapy is going to help. So whether that is a young child, whether that's a teenager, I've heard of play therapy working for adults as well because it's it's creativity, and it just taps into that that other side, that other side of our brain that words don't quite access, but other other things live there and sit there. So, no, it's not just for young children, it does transcend through ages as creativity does.

SPEAKER_01 17:24

But I guess that's gotta be dependent on the therapist as well and how confident they feel older. 100%.

SPEAKER_00 17:32

Because from my experience, uh the the older the client and I I've worked with teens in play therapy, there's more words in the room because they have more vocabulary to to analyse things and to kind of label things. So yeah, I guess the confidence of the therapist to to be comfortable with those words and to be able to communicate back with words. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 17:56

And I I'll I remember in the talk that you recently did on play therapy um at a conference, there were adult therapists who were saying, I can use this within my therapy, weren't there?

SPEAKER_00 18:08

Which was really lovely and exactly what I wanted. Yeah. Because I I don't think it should be pigeonholed for younger children. It is absolutely effective, but I I really feel it's effective throughout because it's it's a creative therapy. There's so many different parts of the toolkit that that work. As humans, we will tap into one of them. Yeah. So it was really nice to hear that they they're gonna take what they heard and they they were saying they're gonna implement it, which is really nice.

SPEAKER_01 18:39

Yeah. Well, thank you, Melisha, for joining us. I do have one more question. Can you come back again? Yes. I feel like I've got so many more questions to ask you about uh play therapy, um, but I'm very aware this is only one podcast, so please come back again and um we'll talk more on different play therapy topics. Absolutely. Okay, um, so thank you everyone for listening to Tri Talk. If you want to know more about trauma-informed care, subscribe to Tri for more trauma-informed care in practice.