This is how we learn

Today I share some exciting news, talk about the tattoo I got for car guy and we adjust some boundaries that were set years ago. Oh and I'm recording this while I'm charging my vehicle on the way to a weekend in Idaho. Scattered? Maybe. But at least we are on it. 

Insta: @screaming_angel13 @mydatingrefresh @bubblemaster

SYKED ABOUT BEAUTY

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SPEAKER_00 0:00

Hello, hello, hello. Oh, okay, car. I'm not talking to you at all, I promise. The fuck? What a way to get going. So obviously my car. I said hello, hello, and my car went. Me? No, ma'am. Not you. Not you. Um, I'm finally doing it. I'm on a road trip and I'm going to try to record while I'm rolling. So sorry. Obviously, I've had a little little thing, little thing thing. But anyways, if you hear a bunch of like scratching around, bumping, it's just because I moved around the mic and I'm in a vehicle. And yeah, we're we're on the roll, we're on the roll, we're going. Uh, where am I going? I decided earlier this week, I'm like, I'm gonna go to Idaho to see my friend. See my friend Car Guy. I don't know if I've ever said his name on this, but um so I guess I'll just continue calling him Car Guy because I don't know. You know what's funny is you think that you'd have recollection of what you talked about, just like a little bit. And I know I've spoken of him before, but like I don't remember who, what, when, where, what I was talking about at all. Like, not even a little bit. So I'll just I'll just keep calling him Car Guy. That's his that's his name. A lot of you kind of I not a lot of you, but like people that I know, you know, they know what his Nikki name is and who he is and what he means and all that Jimmy Jazz, but I think I think we're rolling. I think everything's working. I am on my other microphone because it was gonna be too much to set up my fancy microphone. I'm gonna be surreal with you. I can't even hear a difference though. I think in my head it like kind of sounds the same. Do I have more options with the little soundboard I have on the other microphone? Absolutely. But overall, basically in my head the same. So um tell me later. Be like, actually, Sammy, please never use a microphone again. It's the worst. Um, or be like, that's actually not bad. I have noticed that when I have um other people on though, that you cannot hear them over me. And I've tried to adjust it. I don't know how to fix it. Um, we're learning. We're still learning. We're only almost a year into this. Not even yet. Not even a year into this yet. But almost. But we're still learning and um yeah, feedback is great actually. I actually love a little bit of feedback. I'm like, if it sounds like shit, tell me. I've been told though that it sounds pretty good. So I don't know. Maybe everyone else just needs to get more loud. Because like I feel like I'm pretty loud. I feel like my voice carries. It is part of my charm. I feel like I'm a loud lady. Oh, you think I sound scattered now? I will in a minute for sure. Um, I just figured I'm like, you know, if I'm rolling, I might as well talk. Because if not, I'm just listening to songs over and over again and just singing and playing along, right? But if I can record and be on the move as well, that's even better. So right now I'm actually charging um in a little town called Snowville, like on my way to Idaho. And yeah, and it's going well. Um I had 30 minutes of charging, and the entire time I spent it scrolling my phone, and then I was like, why wasn't I recording that entire 30 minutes? Why wasn't I just sitting here recording? So I was like, you know what? I will get rolling, I'll start recording, and I'll either record on the roll or I'll record when I get to the next charging spot. I don't know. It just feels like so much wasted time of me just kind of like hanging out and that I love a good, I love a good multitask, you know.

SPEAKER_01 3:37

I love multitasking and shit and all that you know.

SPEAKER_00 3:42

Um I'm so tired. I stayed up really late last night. Um, I actually I'm playing a little prank on Car Guy. Um so a little background. Car guy and I have actually known each other for a really long time, maybe like 10 plus well, we've been friends for like or known each other. I feel like know each other for at least 10 years, right? So we've known each other for a while, and um we have lots of little inside jokes, obviously. But what comes with knowing someone for a while is you get everyone else going, so why aren't you dating them? You're not married to this person yet? When are you guys gonna get? When are you gonna get together? When are you gonna Well? We're not together. That's not what I that was not but I went I said well, and I was like, actually, that's not what I'm saying. We're not together, we're just good buddies, and I haven't seen him for a while since he moved here. And um what was I saying? Oh, anyways, so since everybody asks questions about us getting married, there it has kind of formed a joke between us, like an inside joke, that we both will just be like, So when we get married, when we do this, when we and it's just like a little funny, funny whatever, and then we're competitive, both of us are, so obviously it's become this game of like one-upping each other, right? Uh I don't and I don't know how to get more into it without really explaining the inside joke, but basically it's like it's just a joke that's brought up constantly, you know. Like uh, I went on a date the other day and I was I texted him about it, and he goes, I don't really know how I feel about my future wife going on dates with other men. And it's just like just silly little goofy goofs like that, you know, little side comments. But a couple weeks ago, I made a joke and I was like, What would you do if I got my name, uh got your name um tattooed on me? And he's like, Oh, I know you're the one. I know it was time, you know, we're we're giggling. And he said that, and I went into my head, I was like, the next time I see him, I am gonna have his name tattooed on me for the fucking bit, for the plot, whatever you want to fucking call it. I just was like, you know, I haven't done something a little wild in a while. We're we're gonna do this. So did I get his name tattooed on me? Sort of. It's two letters, which is a nickname of his, and um it is tattooed on my foot. Did I freehand it last night in my basement with my tattoo gun that I use for permanent makeup? Yes. Is it kind of wonky? Yeah. And I literally did it last night at 1 a.m. because I was like, I just gotta do it. I'm gonna see him. I have to follow through this joke. And so if you want to see the reaction to that, follow my TikTok, Instagram, anything I will be posting. I made a little video talking about it and explaining it as well. But yeah. Um, so basically I'm gonna be engaged this weekend. See, that's the joke. Because obviously it's a joke. We're not gonna be engaged. We're just really good friends who like to make a joke together. Anyways. Anywho, I told that story and I was like, maybe it's not as funny as I think it is. Saying it out loud right now kind of makes me go, all right, am I crazy? Actually, actually, is this not funny? I'm like, oh my gosh. Okay. Oh well. If it's not funny, someone tell me. Just be like, what's wrong with you? And I'll laugh and go, you know, I I don't know. What is wrong with me? Tell me. I should get into therapy. Honestly, probably should. I was in therapy before I got divorced, and then like before that a little bit, but I have not been in therapy for a while. Okay, okay, okay, all right. Back to business, back on track. Um actually, I feel like I'm all over the place because I finished charging, I took a little pause on podcasting, and then drove another like hour and 40 minutes. Now we're charging again. So it's part of the game, it's part of the fun, you know. My nose is a little stuffy, and I'm like, we just got here, and I'm already stuffy, like, what in the world? Oh my goodness. Oh, I was trying to do the quietest sneeze in the entire world, and that is so difficult, so difficult. Oh, okay, back on track. I do have my notes in front of me. I promise I do make notes. I just sometimes get on a little sidetracked little adventure, a little, a little side quest. We're only just side questing in here. I have I have news, and I've decided that it is time that I can talk about it, actually. I'm so sorry, I'm so sniffly. Okay, that's the last one for a minute, so I don't disgust all of you unless you want to be disgusted. You kinky little kinker. I have news. I this year am in collaboration with Nightmare on 13th. What's Nightmare on 13th? I'll tell you what Nightmare on 13th is. It's actually it's the longest running indoor haunted house in Utah. I have acted there for about on and off, like basically like seven years basically. And nope, not seven. On and off for about like six. There we go. I'll fix that. We're fixing that right now. We're going to make sure we're saying that correct facts. I haven't worked a full season in a long time, but like at least once in those years, in the past like three years, I've at least gone and worked like once or twice. Just little things like that, basically. Um, acting taste a lot of your body, and I loved it. I love being a scare actor, but it got too much. It got too much. I'm getting old. Or at least I feel like I'm getting old. Everyone's like, but you're still so young. And I'm like, I I get it, but hear me out. When I'm jumping over tables and stuff, and I'm like, oh, I'm gonna feel that tomorrow. Like my back kind of hurts right now. Wait till I wake up tomorrow morning. So I digress. Anyways, back on topic. I love it there. I've been in the commercials a couple times the past couple years. I've helped with little side things. Again, I've gone and acted like once or twice a season for the past three years just to kind of like keep up on it. I enjoy it. I love it there. I love the family, I love the people, I love what it stands for. You know, I mean, a lot of haunted houses don't make it that far. And so to have it be like 35 years running, that's crazy. That's amazing. I just I love it there and I believe in everything about it. But basically, this year I am in collaboration with them. So I will be posting on my own page and helping with a lot of the marketing stuff. So uh you should come follow my account. I mean, how many Instagrams I have now, okay? I get it. I do get it. This one's a for sure follow. If you don't even follow the podcast one, at least go follow this one. I will be posting a ton on there. Um, my alter ego is Halo. Basically, I didn't want to be myself. I wanted to be my alter ego, vampiric, gothic version of myself. And so, etc. etc. Halo. So go follow the account. I'll be hosting a ton of behind the scenes, a ton of little content-y stuff, and just be there. I'll be there all season, and I will be helping with a lot of giveaways and all that sorts of stuff. Like lots of things are coming this year. We're they're doing a whole new thing inside. Um, they have another attraction they're opening up that I'll get to kind of be a first witness on. I love it. It's so cool already. It's so cool. I can't talk about it too much. And then the courtyard where you go and you hang out while you're waiting to get in line, they've got like new goodies, drinks, little rides, all sorts of stuff. So this year it's leveled up, leveled up. So if you want to see behind the scenes that, which you do, you already do. And in fact, when you do follow, start sharing my stuff with your friends. Start reposting. Why are we not helping each other out? That I think that's what's fucked up. If you need help, let me help you by reposting this or let me do da da da da da. Um, be reposting my stuff, please. We work together as a team. Good god. But anyways, it's really easy. My my insta is screaming underscore angel one three. Screaming angel13. You know, like three nightmare on 13th. And then Halo, see, it all goes together. It's like she thought it out. I did. I didn't think it out. I I didn't I did indeed think it out. So again, that is at screaming underscore angel 13. Okay, I'm waiting. Even pause if you need to. Okay, that's enough waiting. What else has been going on? A lot, but not a lot, honestly. I've had a lot of more time. I've had a lot more time to kind of go out and be a little wild. I'm kind of being a new woman this season. I think this summer I've kind of not like I don't think I'm hoeing around, but I've kind of let the hoe out a little bit. It's I'm kind of letting go of some of those goals we had earlier, because obviously it wasn't really working. And that's okay. That's why we set goals and we set boundaries and we try things out and we adjust and we decide what else we want to do, right? So I have a new way of looking at things right now. Right now, dating is a different level. And in fact, what's funny is I'm trying all these different things and I'm already going on more dates. I'm already doing more things, I'm already meeting new people, and I'm meeting people I like. Okay, also, do you know how embarrassing it is to go see my friend Brittany and her sweet little baby and be like, I have a crush, let me tell you about it. 27 years old. I'm gonna be 28 this year. 27 years old being like, I have a crush. Do you want to hear about my crush, my friend who's been married for eight years and has a baby? Oh my goodness gracious. I mean, like, get it. I love it. I'm glad that she has a baby and she has all this stuff, but it's fine. Does it make me envious? Of course. All my friends that have babies and are married and happy, I'm like, there's a part of me that's envious. I mean, do I get to go live my best life and I'm doing all these fun things? I'm going to Ireland by myself. Absolutely. I am so blessed right now, and I'm living my best life, and I'm doing all these things to be single, but doesn't mean I'm not sad that I don't have stitches in my Punani. You know, from having a baby. If you didn't get that, then I'm I'm sorry. Um if you didn't get that, then that means that maybe you're a man and that's great. I'm glad you're listening. Please tune on in. I I wish I catered to the men more. What can I do better to be catering to that side? Because I like giving advice all around, but I think that when I'm talking to myself, I'm just gonna talk about my own experiences, right? Like, do I just need more guests? DM me. I don't give I don't get hardly enough messages telling me what I'm doing right or doing wrong. Lead me, guide me, tell me what to do. That's a throwback. Oh I have a new bestie. I'm just gaining besties. Basically, I have a coworker and her name is Kaylee, and she is a hoot and a half, and I am so blessed right now. I kind of was I was kind of not like praying, but like praying a little bit to have a new friend, right? And that sounds really sad, I promise you, I'm okay. But I was I was kind of looking for a friend that like wants to go do stuff like almost every weekend, right? I'm getting a little stagnant. I used to be so fun and out there and all over, and I just feel really stagnant. Maybe that's why I needed to put Car Guy's name on my foot. I don't know. I just was feeling a little stagnant. I just feel like lately I felt a little stagnant. I just I need a little more, not even just content, but more emotional content. Or like maybe just like more not so planned out things, right? Something to kind of keep me excited and going, give me stories. Back up a little bit. I have a coworker, her name's Kaylee, and her boyfriend and all their friends, they go out all the time. They're always doing stuff, they're always all getting together, and they are a who and a half. Who and an hollering. Literally, the first party I went to with her, I got a little drunk and I told her on the car ride over. I was like, just in case you're wondering, I have two goals tonight. And she goes, Uh-oh, what are they? And I was like, I have two goals tonight. One, I want to get hit on. And she's like, Oh, you will, you're hot as hell. You're going to. And I'm like, perfect, perfect. Um, second, I want to get in a fight with a man. And she's like, no.

unknown 16:40

No, absolutely not.

SPEAKER_00 16:43

She's like, do not do that on my wash. And I I laugh because I'm like, it's part of the bit, like, it's part of the joke. And I'm like, no, those are my two goals. My two goals are to get hit on because I look, I feel good, I look good, and to get in a fight with man. To what degree? I didn't know. I just knew that that was my two, my, those are my two goals. And let me have my goals for the night, right? So we actually we get to her friend's house and she tells me, Oh, I bet this guy will hit on you. You should tell him your goals. And I I laugh and I'm like, oh, whatever. And she's like, No, no, no. So she pulls him over and she's like, You have to hear what Sammy's goals are for the night. And I tell him, Well, my goals are to get hit on. And he goes, Okay, okay. And to get a fight with the man. He's like, Oh, well, I can help you with one of those. And I shoot back with, Oh, so we're gonna fight tonight. And he's like, No, no, no, no. I walk away, right? And this was a back and forth all night, and I love the playfulness in other people. I love when people you barely know can like play back and kind of enjoy just like the bit. You know what I mean? Because all night he kept bringing it up and he goes, So I can help you with that first thing, and I'm like, I don't know. I I kind of I'm more worried about the second one. So crazy so that what am I saying?

SPEAKER_02 18:01

So crazy so so crazy so that what was I saying?

SPEAKER_00 18:07

I got so abstract immediately. I'm in a parking lot and I'm so sweaty, but I turned off the air in my car so it could just focus on charging. Um so it's it's roasty in here, but you know, it's roasty, um, and it's kind of humid, so my skin's all sticky and glowy. Mmm, yummy, sticky glowy. Anyways, that joke goes all night. Um later he even asked me, he was like, So have you had like someone to fight with? And I'm like, no, no, no. And he's like, well, I can help you the other one. I go, too late. Someone already did. And I'm like, but we could fight if you could be like really creepy. And he's like, uh I don't know how to do that. And I'm like, nah, I'm sure you can. Whole joke, right? Get a little more drunk. Later in the night, I had gum in my mouth, and another gentleman literally put his hand out for me to spit it into his hand. And I'm like, what a fun group of people. What a caring group. Like, you want my chewed up wad of gum in your hand? Amazing deal. Have it. On all that note though, this last weekend we decided to go out on Friday and Saturday, which fucking rockin' and a rollin', rockin' and a railin', you know, I'm all for it. I this is what I was looking for. And she and I have discussed it. We're like, we were kind of looking for somebody to just go do these fun things with, but she already does fun stuff, but I think I don't know, it I can't speak for her, but I think she enjoys having like another girlfriend that's like just willing to go and do it as well and be willing to drive or do whatever, right? So Friday night, she invites me out to they're at this bar downtown, and so I meet them there. Uh, we have a few drinks, and then they're like, actually, we're gonna go to this event. And I'm like, Okay, I'm down, let's go. So we take my car over because I had I had literally had like had a couple sips of someone else's drink. I did not buy a single drink that night, by the way. The fact that I got drunk is crazy because I did not buy a single drink, and everybody was just feeding me their drinks or feeding me bears, right? So Friday night we drive over to this little bar and we start walking in and they're like, Oh, you have to download a ticket. So I pull up a ticket and they're like, This is a special bar. So basically you go in and you can get drinks upstairs and hang out, but as soon as you go downstairs, you have to have a sticker over your camera, and you can't take your phone out. And I'm like, Okay, that's crazy. I'm like, are we going to a sex club? Like, where are we going? I was assured it was not a sex club, but I will tell you the vibes that was the vibes a little bit, but it's okay. I did find out later that that's how they do it in Europe is that you can't have your phone out, and that's supposed to just create the vibe. And I was like, Hell yeah, that's super fucking meaty. I love it. So we go in, we get through the door, and there's two gentlemen sitting at a counter, and then one in between them, kind of back behind. And the one between them, oh, he was fine. Okay, he was he was a handsome man, and I'm like, oh my god. Okay, okay. So I turned to Kaylee and I'm like, that is a handsome man. And she goes, go talk to him. And I was like, No. No. First off, we have a boundary. We make we let men come to us. That has been my boundary for a while. And second, I'm so shy. Hear me out. I'm not shy when it comes to people and groups and stuff like that. Handsome men though, oh, I'm so shy. Oh my god, I'm so shy. I can fake it. And I think that it looks like I'm faking it, but the entire time, my knees, my hands, everything just shaking. I'm a shy, shy girl. Shy girl. So we go get our tickets, get stickers over our cameras, get some drinks, go downstairs. And I'm not gonna lie, it's a basement and it's just dark down there with like a few random like little lights here or there and a DJ. And if I had known that was the vibe, I would have left my purse at home because all I could the entire time I like had my hand over my purse, I just was like kind of freaked out that someone was gonna snatch it, which they wouldn't have, but like still, there was just a part of me that was like, ooh, I just feel a little weird about this. But if I had known the vibe, it would have been a little different. But so we go dance a little bit and then we go back upstairs and we're sitting on these couches, and she's like, I think we're leaving soon. And I was like, wow, that guy is so hot. And she goes, I will go introduce you to introduce you to him. And I'm like, no, no, absolutely not. That's even worse. I'm not gonna be the friend that she's like, uh, by the way, tap tap. Um, my friend thinks you're cute, and I'm over just in the corner, like, yeah, that's me. I'm gonna pretend not to look over at you, but I'm looking because I want to see your face. Absolutely not. That's so much worse. So she's hyping me up, tell me to go, tell me to go. And I have this theory that if you can stand up, you can do anything. If as long as you can stand up, you can do anything. Same thing with like getting up in the morning. If I'm having a hard time getting up, all I have to convince myself is to stand up because as soon as I'm standing, oh, I'm gonna ready to go, right? It's like that one little like push. So she's harping on me. Go talk to him, go talk to him, and I stand up and start walking over. Side note, I was drunk, so in my head, I stood up and I kind of just started going that way with a mission. She said, she said that I halted up and just beelined that way, which I'm sure she's right. So I basically just Naruto run towards this dude, right? I mean, that's what I'm picturing in my head now that she's told me that her part of the story. So I hustle towards this dude. And again, be nice to me. I'm drunk. I he's sitting down. I put my hand, my right hand, on his left shoulder, and I lean over and I go, Hi, I'm Sammy. Hello, I'm so-and-so. And I kind of venture on and I go, Yeah, um, I'm so sorry about this, but my friends told me I need to come over and say hi to you. And he's kind of nodding, and he's got kind of a grin on his face, and I'm like, he thinks that this is so goofy. Oh, he thinks this is so goofy and it's so embarrassing. So I have my hand shoulder to shoulder, and I'm like, my friends told me I need to come say hi to you. And I was like, and I'm sorry, this is really inappropriate because you're working. And he goes, Oh, I'm actually not working, I'm just hanging out. And I go, oh, even better. And I was like, but I'm so sorry. I'm so, so, so sorry. Uh, I think you're so cute. Can I get your number? And he immediately is like, yeah, sure, of course. So he gives me his number. I turn him and I go, I'm gonna text you, and I waltz away, and I'm like, oh my god, that is so embarrassing. Immediately, immediately just embarrassed. Immediately too much. Okay. So I walk over to Kaylee and she goes, he has the biggest smile on his face, and I'm like, yeah, because he's laughing at me. And I tell her what happened, she goes, Yeah, that's she's like, that's a little much. And I was like, I know, I don't know how to function or be normal. And keep in mind, I'm telling this story, and I'm talking about what I said. There were stutter there was stuttering all throughout that. I can't even duplicate what I probably actually said. It was just along those lines, and um, there was lots of stuttering. So we're sitting there waiting for a little bit, and she he keeps looking at his phone and he like won't look over, and I'm just like, oh my god, he's trying not to make eye contact with me. He's probably so embarrassed, he's probably like, oh, why isn't she leaving? We go back downstairs one last time. I try to like make eye contact with him, and he won't look at me. He's keeps looking at his phone, and I'm like, oh, and Kaylee's like, he's waiting for you to text him, and I was like, no. I'm like, he's trying not to make eye contact. He's trying not to make eye contact with me. It's it's weird. It's a weird thing. So we get downstairs, grab our friends, start heading out, and I'm like, Sammy, just be yourself. Be yourself. So as we're turn we're walking out, I turn my whole body and I look at him and I go, I point my finger towards him and I go, I'm gonna text you. Again, so loud. So loud. And I can't even I can't even make this up. I wish this was a joke. I turn around after saying that, and my right shoulder bumps into the door and like knocks me kind of the side, and I just barrel through the door the rest of the way, just laughing. Fast forward. We ended up going on a date on Monday, and he told me that he did indeed see me hit into the door, and he said, So basically, what he told me is that he was telling his friend that I asked him for his number, and as they both turned to look at me, they saw me hit into the door, and his friend goes, Yeah, she seems cool. But he's actually very sweet. And so after that night, after kind of having a win, because as soon as we started texting, because I texted him after we got out of the bar, he immediately was such a gentleman, he's like, I want to take you out. When are you free next? Um, that was so cool of you to walk up, and I was like, damn. I'm like, damn, he was waiting for me to text him. Okay, wow, you know, a little confidence boost, right? So we leave, we leave that party, he and I are texting. I already have a date planned for Monday by the end of that night, and we head to a a little house party, okay? We walk in, and you know, we're scoping out. I see another handsome man. So I tell Kaylee, who's that? He's handsome, and she goes, Oh, that's that's my boyfriend's friend, and so-and-so. And I was like, Oh, I'm like, he's cute, and she's like, You want me to say something? And I'm like, no. She goes, go talk to him, and I go, No, not yet. Not yet, not yet. So we play games, hang out. I get so drunk that I'm doing splits and stretching on the floor, which I don't know what to tell you. I don't know. I just know that this whole last week I've been so sore because I definitely pulled something in my right leg, but um, I digress. Later the night, we are all on the banister. A banister? No, no, no, no, no, no. We are outside on the terrace. Is the word terrace? We're in an apartment, so it's something crazy. So we're outside, and he comes out and I'm like, okay, Sammy. Talk to him a little bit. So I'm trying to be brave, okay? So I've got it's like me, Kaylee, another dude, and then the other handsome man, okay? And so I lean over and I look at him and I go, Do you like jokes? And he goes, Yeah, I do. And I was like, tell me your best dad joke. So he proceeds to tell us a joke. I don't remember it. And me trying to be funny, I go, it's not as funny as one I have I have. And he goes, Okay, tell us, tell us your best dad joke. So I say, What's a boomerang that doesn't come back? No one says anything. I pause and I go, a stick. And I cackle, because I do love that joke. And that was the end of it. That was the end of the conversation. Like we literally all went back to talk about whatever, and I'm like, alright, I'm just gonna I'm just gonna roll up in a ball right now. Good god, it's so embarrassing. So we finish out the night, and the next day, my friend hits me up and she goes, We're going over to that guy's house again, and then we're gonna go out. Come out with us. And I'm like, nah, you had me at come out again. We're going, we're doing something. You got me at texting me and me going, what are we doing? Where are we going? Pretty please. We head over to this man's house again, and Kaylee tells me, Okay, I talked to him, and I was like, No, stop, please, no. So she's like, I talked to him, and I was like, no, that is so embarrassing. She goes, It's not embarrassing. He thinks you're really cute. And I was like, Okay, okay, fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, fine. Fine. Okay, sounds good, right? So I so I see him sitting on the couch. I know that he thinks I'm attractive, and I'm like, okay, let's do it. So I walk on over, I sit down, and I go, hey, you're so-and-so, right? And he goes, Yeah, I'm so-and-so. And you're so-and-so, you're Sammy. And I was like, I am. So we start talking for a minute. I'm not drunk yet, I'm just kind of like trying to be confident. And he's like, and he's asking me, we're asking about age, we're asking about whatever. And everyone starts talking about going to another bar, going to a bar. And I'm like, I turn to him and I go, Are you going with us at the bar? And he's like, No, I can't. I lost my ID. And I was like, dang. Okay, side note, you have to know that I feel so smooth for this. This little confidence boost from the night before, I feel so smooth for this. Okay. So I turned to him and I'm like, Oh, you're not going with us? And he's like, No, I can't. And I go, So you want my number now then instead?

unknown 31:15

Ah!

SPEAKER_00 31:16

Yeah. Yeah, I did that. And did I think it out? No, it was just pure improv, baby. Pure jump into it, baby. So he goes, Yeah, actually, I do. And so he got my number, and then we ended up all going out, anyways. And then I hung out with him on Sunday, and he was very sweet, very shy, very sweet. Um, I'm trying very hard to be very confident and to be more friendly, and so I've been texting him kind of like goofy things a little bit. I think he's vibing. I think they're vibing. I think we're vibing. Anyways, I've readjusted my idea on approaching men a little bit. Can we talk about it? Can we talk about it just a little? Okay, okay, we're gonna talk about it. I don't even care if he said no. Like we're gonna talk about it. We're gonna we're gonna have a little conversation. So back when I set my little goals, I had decided, okay, I'm letting men approach me because I want a confident man who is masculine and in masculine in his masculinity and all that, right? So the idea was there. The idea was there. But after this weekend, I'm kind of re-evaluating just a little bit because obviously I'm not getting approached. And I keep putting it in my head that I'm not getting approached by men because I am ugly, and that's stupid. That's so fucking stupid because we know it's not true. That's not true. I'm not ugly. Am I a like a Utah 10? No. I'm like a solid Utah like six, maybe, right? Maybe I'm like an Oklahoma 10. I don't fucking know. I've actually never been to Oklahoma, so I can't even say that. But it's been like hurting my self-esteem, but like getting out there and introducing myself and just being confident about it is actually kind of working out. Okay, hear me out though. We're not pushy. I'm not gonna be pushy. I'm going to let a man know that I'm interested and be confident and ask for numbers and flirt a little, but I'm leaving it to on them. They have to be the ones to reach out that fine little, fine little bit, ask me out, take me out, right? Because at the end of the day, that's still what I'm looking for. I'm looking for somebody who has their life put together a little bit, who wants a future, wants kids, wants marriage, wants all the whole shebang, right? And so part of that is I want to be a stay-at-home mom. So I am looking for somebody who has a little bit of that extra of like, well, I'm gonna make sure I plan the dates, I'm gonna do this, I'm gonna do that. Like, I just I need that like extra few few little steps, right? So yeah. I reevaluated a little bit. There wasn't much to say about it, except for the fact that I have looked at it a little different now, and I'm like, okay, it's freaky to approach people. It's so scary. Even if you can tell somebody is kind of into you, it still is so freaky deaky. And so the fact that I think in my head I've like left it all to the men a little bit. That makes me think of the line from The Incredibles where she goes, and leave the saving world with the men, I don't think so. I don't think so. But um, it's freaky deaky, and I understand why it probably has been really freaky to approach myself or other women. So we all just need to be approaching. That's my goal for the rest of the summer. We are having hot girl approach summer. We're having hot guy approach summer. The worst someone's gonna do is say no. If you walk up and you say, I think you're attractive, I'd like your number, the worst they're gonna say is no, or I have a girlfriend, boyfriend, whatever, right? But if you do it in a tasteful way, like no one's gonna really be mean to you. Here's my oh let's let's reevaluate something though. If you show up and you are such a creep or you are so icky or you are up my booty hole, we're gonna have an issue. We're gonna have a fucking issue for sure. So that's where I think a lot of men are like, women are so mean when I approach them. How are you approaching? Let's have a conversation about this. How are we approaching? How are we talking to people? Right? It doesn't need to be a law, it doesn't need to be anything crazy. Um obviously, I am a master of words. Just kidding. I'm as the stories just showed, I am not, I'm not a master of words at all. I am literally the biggest dummy, dumb, dumb, but ever. So maybe take a second, think through your head how you'd want to be approached. Because I'm sorry, but no one wants to be approached with, oh my god, you're so hot. I mean, maybe you do. I don't. Immediately I'm gonna be like, yeah. Even like I've been really good at trying to approach people like as friends. Like I've been trying really hard to tell women that they look cute or oh, I love your top. Where'd you get it? Make make connections, make friendships, get really good at talking, work on that rejection therapy, right? Is that what it's called? Rejection therapy, or is it rejection? I think it is rejection therapy. Okay, side note, I'm in Car Guy's room right now. He's showering. I just got to Idaho. Um, why are there bottles of hot sauce? What the fuck? When he's done with the shower, we're gonna ask him. I'm so sorry. I got so distracted. I I was talking because I after I spoke a little bit about um those dates, and I said I wanted to talk about uh my new boundaries and goals, I was like, I'm gonna wait till I get there. And so he went and took a shower, and I'm sitting on his bed, and um, what a gentleman. Just by the way, can we get a round of applause? I don't know what that sounds like, but he invited me here this weekend and he was like, okay. He's like, you can sleep on the bed on my bed, and then I'll sleep like on the couch or wherever. And I was like, I'm like, you don't gotta do that. Yeah, he fucking does. Are you kidding me? But no, I'm in his room and there's literally two bottles of hot sauce. I mean, there's alcohol and like all the other whatever stuff, like as men be doing as decorations, but there's two bottles of hot sauce. There's sriracha right there, and there's okay, anyways, sorry, that was a whole side tangent. That just was kind of spicy in here. That was me kicking my legs. I think I'm so funny. Oh, oh. Oh, we're working on how we approach people. Think about how you want to be approached. Because I know for a fact that I don't really love when someone comes up to me and they're like, you're so hot. I wanna I just want to put it in your pants. I wanna put I don't want that. Sure, if I'm on the prowl and I'm trying to get some stuff in my pants, sure. But even then, first meeting somebody, ugh, because don't get me wrong, my libido is high. I'm a fiend. And when I'm dating somebody, you bet I'm gonna just constantly make comments about sex and like wanting to get in their pants and want that's part of foreplay. That's part of the sexiness of it, right? Like if you're wanting to like get freaky deaky with your partner, you gotta make them feel freaky deaky. I'm a firm believer of that. But if I'm meeting you for the first time in a club or on Tinder or whatever, I don't understand why the opening lines are, so would that mouth do? Oh, you look like you're like you're naughty. No, I'm not. I'm not naughty. I'm a Sammy. Kaka, absolutely not. It's the same thing with approaching people in in person. Or like if you see a hot if you see a hot girl and you're like, I love that shirt, I'm not gonna be like, oh girl, your boobies are so good, without a little bit of floorplay before that. I'm literally gonna be like, your shirt is so cute, I love that. And then we see we test out the vibes. If she and I are vibing, I'm gonna go, it makes your tits look great. Upsa fucking literally. Of course I want to know if my tits look great. Like I get it, but I'm like, I don't want to hear it from a random girl being like, your boobies are so good. Actually, it's okay, that actually is so wrong. Because you know what? Girls can say whatever they want to each other, and it's usually pretty fine, actually. But I digress. We back up, it's fine. But I'm just saying, we can change our minds. We have to try and test things, right? I'm just proud of myself. We're gonna have a little affirmation right now. A little affirmation um Friday. A little affirmation Friday. I'm fucking growing. I'm fucking doing my shit. I'm fucking living my life. I'm about to go find the love of my life in Ireland. Oh, bah, bah. Putting a pin in that. I gotta remember. I'm going to Ireland. Going back to affirmations. I'm living my best life. I'm going on trips, I'm enjoying friendships, I'm enjoying all of this. I'm learning, I'm I'm changing and thinking about all these different ways that I want to exist and date. I mean, literally a year ago, I'm like, I had this whole list of things that were like requirements and boundaries, and that's great. That's a great way to fucking start. I actually would not change that for anything because I think I learned a lot from it, but it helped me go, okay, I liked this rule because of this, but I want to adjust it this way. Like the same thing about literally being like, okay, I'm gonna, I'm, I'm allowed to approach men and not allowed, okay, but I can approach men and I can make the first move there, but I gotta let them go the rest of the way. And that's something I'm just trying right now. We're just trying it out. We're refreshing, we're learning how to re-interact with people, we're trying to make people feel more comfortable. Because now, here's the thing. Now that I have these men's numbers, we're yapping, we're talking, we're getting to know each other, and it's comfortable now to be feel like I can be a little more flirty, I can be more little friendly this way. Like if they were flirty back with me, I'm gonna accept that more than a random man just being like, Oh my god, I want to put my tongue down your throat. I'm proud of myself for taking the time to learn all these different things the hard way and adjust them and apply them, or get rid of them, or grow from them, or maybe hold on to them. I'm talking in circles at this point, but you get the idea. Or maybe you don't. Maybe you're like, I don't know what you're fucking talking about. Actually, it always works for me when I tell a girl that her fat is her fatty assie is just plumping around. It works for me every single time. It must be working for some people because it it is aggressive sometimes, especially with like older men. Like I get hit on by 40-year-old men all the time, and I'm like, sir, we're not in that realm at all. Like, don't do not talk to me like that. Okay, a word from our sponsors. Of course, obviously, because it's my passion, it's my love. She literally has not even asked me to do this again. She's never asked me to. I hope you know that. Brittany has never asked me to plug her skincare. I just love her so much, and I love I love the product, and I love I love talking about it, I guess. But Brittany's skincare is the best. It is super easy, super simple. Um, I'm actually really excited as well. Like I was thinking about traveling wise to just have like a three-step routine and not like this whole crazy extra thing. Because like I have my extra things I like to add in, of course, right? We like to pamper ourselves. But when I'm like out on the town, what am I talking about? But when I'm out and out of the state, of course, it's just easier to have my three-step process, right? I've got my cleanser, give myself a little scrub-dub. We always double cleanse, of course, and then we have our toner, give a t. And then we have a moisturizer. The moisturizer, which is so yummy, it smells so good. Oh, and it just makes me feel so glowy and good. Especially now that I'm gonna be in the sun all weekend. I'm excited to be able to come back, put some moisturizer on, and know that it's gonna just absorb in. I should write out a script for how I want to talk about that because I feel like I talk and I just sound so fucking stupid, but it's fine, no big deal. It's just how I feel inside my brain. And I'm not gonna lie, car guy just walked in, so of course I'm a little distracted.

SPEAKER_02 43:43

A little distracted.

SPEAKER_00 43:45

But make sure you go to psychedaboutbeauty.com. That is S-Y-K-E-D-A-B-O-U-T B E A U T Y dot C O M. And then use our discount code, which is SAMI10, S A M I 10 for 10% off! Go support our mother, our mother Brittany, who pushed a baby out and has stitches. I saw them there wild. Okay, car guy, now that you're back, we we had a question for you. I don't think I can hear you. Come here. Get over here. We had a question for you.

SPEAKER_01 44:24

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 44:26

Why do you have so much hot sauce in your room?

SPEAKER_01 44:30

So other people don't steal it.

SPEAKER_00 44:35

I was talking about serious stuff and things that I'm growing on right now. And I looked around and I was like, I'm sorry, I'm distracted. I'm like, there's hot sauce in here. He says he says there's two bottles. There's Sriracha and Chalula. Come tell them.

SPEAKER_01 44:59

We've only got two. Sriracha and Chalula.

SPEAKER_00 45:04

It's it's still more than I have in my room.

SPEAKER_01 45:09

Yeah, but I don't want other people using my stuff, so I keep it in here.

SPEAKER_00 45:16

You hear to hear to hear first. That's why it's so spicy in here. Thanks for listening. I hope you have a great fucking weekend. I mean, mine's gonna be way better uh because I'll be soaking it in the sun. But I hope you have a wonderful weekend. Thank you for listening, and yeah, we'll see you next weekend. Okay, bye bye.