Veto The Podcast

Veto The Podcast Episode 20 - Cannibal! The Musical (or The Forbidden Jerky)

• George Milton, Brent Bobbitt • Season 1 • Episode 20

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0:00 | 1:14:47

This week the fellas venture into Colorado territory with what turns out to be a really horrible wilderness guide and they have to resort to eating each other. But they'll never eat their shoes. FEET GO IN SHOES!

Join us for our review of the 1993 film school project by Trey Parker and Matt Stone that launched the South Park creators' careers. 

It's another episode of Veto The Podcast, where the real treasure was the friends we ate along the way.

SPEAKER_00

The podcast you are about to listen to was made by idiots and will probably make you dumber. Pregnant or nursing women and those with weakened immune systems should turn away immediately. All others, proceed at your own risk and prepare to veto the podcast.

SPEAKER_02

You've got a friend, you've got a friend in me. If I look at a friend, you need to be a good one. I hope I'll have a friend in you. And a hope I have a friend and you show it a friend and you show up.

SPEAKER_05

Welcome and Aloha to Vito the Podcast. The podcast where maybe the real treasure was the friends we ate along the way. Wow, congratulations, man. Congratulations. I'm also joined by a guy who wrote all the songs that we're gonna sing on this expedition, Mr. Johnny King, our special guest today. Johnny King.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, I uh you gotta be inspired through real life events to write your songs.

SPEAKER_05

You gotta write your songs. Um we watched Cannibal the Musical this week. Wait, before I forget, guys, I'm gonna hand out your veto cards. You each get two veto cards, and I've got two veto cards.

SPEAKER_04

We should challenge ourselves because I I would observe that anytime that we've had a movie review episode, I don't think that so far a veto card has ever been used. I don't even know what we would use it for in this case. We've got to find a way. All right. We we're supposed to be creative people, so we could probably yeah like maybe maybe just shut down someone's totally valid opinion today, you know, just just on just anyway.

SPEAKER_05

I think that the I think that they're generally used for shutting down other people's opinions. Yeah, but like I find myself often wishing that I could use a veto card. Like since we started doing this show, I've I find myself in real life situations wanting to go veto.

SPEAKER_03

I 100% have experienced the same thing even before each even just listening to the show before. And I was like, man, right now would be a great time to bust out one of those veto cards. I know. But I only exp I I I don't experience it as much being here with you.

SPEAKER_05

It's I like you guys. It is really a thing that would be great if you could carry it into life and just be like every day, everybody gets two, you know? When somebody comes at you starts coming at you with some bullshit, like you could just be like, Vito. And they would have and then they would have to respect it. Yeah. How do we it'd be the law?

SPEAKER_04

So that's now the mission of this show. Like before, I didn't care ever about if we even had ten people listening to this.

SPEAKER_05

We do have ten people listening to this.

SPEAKER_04

But but now I I want millions, not because I care anything about the vanity of it, but because that way we could popularize this idea of the world would be a better place if everybody just had two veto cards for the day. This isn't and also like if you were someone that was receiving a lot of veto, if you were getting vetoed by a lot of people, that should tell you something, you know? That's a wake of the case.

SPEAKER_03

Oh, yeah. So it'll be a new way of bullying. Veto cards.

SPEAKER_05

Yeah, let's release a new way of bullying. I think the problem is like if you in general, there are a lot of people who aren't using enough veto cards, they're just taking a bunch of shit, and then there are some people who are using like all the veto cards. And those people, it would be important to limit them to two, and then the other people would be important to say, like, hey, you have access to two. You're gonna have to take some bullshit, but like two of the things you can say, and I think that it extends it should extend to like if your kids like pitch in a fit, or your dog or your dogs like won't st your dog won't stop barking at something that is not a threat. Like everybody should universally veto the dog, is what you're saying.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah. Well veto the bark.

SPEAKER_05

No, never veto the dog.

SPEAKER_04

Well, no, I don't mean the dog, but I'm just gonna respect it. But you're saying that's what I mean. You you the dog would have to respect the veto as well.

SPEAKER_05

But the dog would have a couple of vetoes too. Yeah. You know? I know. Oh, it'd just be it. Like if you get it to do it, if you get it to do like a tri if you get your dog to do like a trick and for the 18th time in a row you don't give it a treat, you just have it sit just to show off to somebody. It can be like veto, give me a treat for this one. Yeah, yeah, yeah. For this one, I get a treat.

SPEAKER_04

But then and that could work on the on the other side of it too. That you know, like sometimes when the dog is wanting too many treats in a day, you could say, sorry, bud, you used your two vetoes already.

SPEAKER_05

You're out of yeah.

SPEAKER_04

That's yeah, you gotta wait till tomorrow now.

SPEAKER_05

That's right. This is really something that's gonna make the world a better, safer place. It'll be yeah. Let's start a religion.

SPEAKER_03

We can do a religion. Oh, maybe we maybe we could solve the like really big problems if if we pool our our veto cards all together and join, we can keep something really bad.

SPEAKER_04

I think Johnny's onto something because a movement is one thing, but we know there's if we do it as a religion instead, there's way better money to be made in a religion. So let's go that way.

SPEAKER_03

I could get a nicer bunker.

SPEAKER_05

Yeah. We could upgrade the bunker. Uh guys, we're cutting this is important stuff, but we're cutting into our time talking about the 1993 film Cannibal the Musical.

SPEAKER_04

As it was released, but of course, as we know from the text in the beginning of it, which is always true, it was actually recorded in the 50s, and then the footage was lost and they had to recolorize it, you know.

SPEAKER_05

Yeah, uh, that's right. And this was originally called Alfred Packer the Musicer Musical. Did you guys catch that it's Alfred and not Alfred?

SPEAKER_03

I did. Oh, right, yes. Alfred is I did a lot of research into this and in preparation.

SPEAKER_04

Oh, good. I was hoping that at least one of you guys like checked out the the actual facts surrounding, you know, the what is, but yeah, that's that's fantastic. Good to hear.

SPEAKER_05

Yeah. This is the this is maybe the like hundredth time I've seen this movie. I've I've I started watching this movie when I was in like high school, like not when it was first released, but like my junior senior year of high school, we somehow discovered this movie. Like my friend group discovered this movie, and it was like a very important. This movie is a very important part of my upbringing.

SPEAKER_04

So good to meet so uh, you know, a similar in that because yeah, was I'm sure a lot of the lines and jokes were a big part of the nomenclature of your friend group at the time. Like you guys probably doinkle of the line.

SPEAKER_03

I would say I was picturing that just based on what you guys had talked about, your history with this movie, and I was like, oh man, I bet you guys were insufferable with your friends. Oh, absolutely naive. You were so because of this.

SPEAKER_04

For the first several years of the time that I was actually like playing live music in front of people, it was definitely almost a bit of a motif that someone would yell, Cowbell Solo. So yeah, yeah, that's great.

SPEAKER_05

I actually did um um uh when I was on top of you, I did that song for musical theater on the show.

SPEAKER_03

Oh, that's great.

SPEAKER_05

When I was in college, and and the and they were like, What is this? What do you what do you what is this?

SPEAKER_03

And did you tell them if you don't know, I can't, I I can't be part of this. I wasn't no part of it.

SPEAKER_05

I didn't know I didn't, I was explaining, I was on the back foot. I was like, oh, it's a it's this movie, it's this musical.

SPEAKER_03

It's if you know you know.

SPEAKER_04

And so if I'm not mistaken, I believe that in this case, this movie, instead of three first-time watchers, we have two seasoned veterans with it. But I believe that the Johnny was your first time seeing the film, is that right?

SPEAKER_03

Yes, and I'm still sore. Okay, but yeah, I watched it uh on the first I've I watched it twice. So the first time I just I'm just gonna sit back. I was on a plane, had it on my phone, and and just got to experience You watched this on a plane?

SPEAKER_05

On a plane. Mr. Fancy Bands. Wow, yeah, it's cool.

SPEAKER_03

And uh and first class Spirit.

SPEAKER_05

Spirit Airlines. Spirit Airlines is sponsoring this podcast. Uh they've given uh they've given us three they've given us each three round trip tickets uh valued at a total of $17.

SPEAKER_04

But it also came with the uh sort of asterisk uh attached to it that if we forget to mention it, that they will verbally assault us in front of a room full of people. So we're really trying to avoid that as well.

SPEAKER_05

Yeah, we don't want to get verbally assaulted. I would veto that if they knew the power. If they knew that, yeah.

SPEAKER_04

But uh did did you did you laugh on the plane, Johnny? Did you were you getting some I I did laugh?

SPEAKER_05

I I d I was trying to remember the first time I watched it. I feel like there I feel like the first time I saw this as like probably a 17-year-old. I think that I didn't laugh as much as the second time. I think the first time I watched it, I was like, what I don't I don't know what I'm watching. What am I how am I supposed to feel right now?

SPEAKER_03

Yes. Because despite the title, Cannibal, the musical, I was a little bit shocked with uh the over-the-top gore to start. And being on the gore being on pretty good. No, it was great. Uh but I was on the you know, being on the plane, I immediately kind of like put the screen down. I didn't know where it was going from from the the get-go. Then then I I got a feeling for where what kind of journey we were gonna be on.

SPEAKER_05

And what a journey it was. Um I d I don't know where to start with this film. So maybe we could just start at the very top. I mean, it was originally called I there were some there were some new things, Johnny, because I I did look up some stuff. Uh me and Aaron watched this together, and I did look up some stuff after I watched it, um, just to like verify a couple things. I learned some new stuff. First of all, I didn't know that it was that that the main character was Alfred Packer. I thought it was Alfred Packer. Yeah. Yeah. This this whole time.

SPEAKER_04

I definitely knew that at some point, but you it's it's one of those things that I think it glosses over your mind so much that I didn't, it wasn't aware. Like I wasn't holding it in in my aware space of my mind, even as you were saying it just now. But then as you said, I'm like, oh yeah, that's right. Alfred Packer.

SPEAKER_05

And it was so this story that this this uh this film originally released in 1993 by Trey Parker and Matt Stone, the creators of South Park, and or Gasmo and Basketball and like many other uh fine uh film and TV projects. This was like their first project together. It was a student film that had a budget of $125,000. Nobody got paid for their labor. Like nobody got paid for acting or singing or any of that. They spent all the money on sets and props and production, basically. Um and it follows the story of Alfred Packer, who this is a this is based on a true story. Did you guys quite check it? It's like an incredibly true story. Alfred Packer, whose name was misspelled. It was like I looked it up and the name was like misspelled. It's his name was Alfred Packer, and it got misspelled on like his military ID or something. Like he was served in the army or something, and he misspelled his name on the military ID, and that became his official government ID. So his name was officially Alfred Packer according to the US government. There is a uh UC Boulder student cafeteria named the Alfred Packer Restaurant and Grill, spelled Alfred.

SPEAKER_04

There's actually a lot of things in Colorado titled after him.

SPEAKER_03

Like there, it's it's there's even there's a statue of him in uh one yeah, as I it's it's kind of crazy the amount of uh I could see Renetue and everything, but I don't understand why you would name a restaurant after that is famous Hannibal.

SPEAKER_05

I do. I mean, yeah. And he was he he was a self-proclaimed uh uh but false like collar Colorado wilderness expert. So like he was he was he did lead a party, he was the I think the only person, the fact that I found the only person in American history convicted of cannibalism.

SPEAKER_04

Uh well apparently at the time, yes, and now there's been four, I want to say. Uh there.

SPEAKER_03

Which is wild. Yeah. Yeah. But he was the first he was the groundbreaker. He was the pioneer.

SPEAKER_04

He was the groundbreaker. Well, and especially because um what's interesting about that is statute-wise in the US, cannibalism isn't actually a crime per se. Uh, it would be like the murder of which, you know, uh you was used to obtain, and then in many case almost every case, uh with the the like defiling a corpse, although that's not a defiling isn't the word, but like the uh there's there's it's more of like the mishandling of a corpse would actually be the crime, but like the cannibalism per se isn't explicitly a crime in the United States. And I only know this because of the research I've done going into this show. Crazy.

SPEAKER_05

Okay. Alright. Well, watch out for cannibalism out there because this is maybe not a leader. Keep an eye out. Maybe if maybe it's assault or murder or something. So it opens on uh it opens on some grisly stuff, right? Like the the the movie opens with Alfred Pa with a with a depiction of Alfred Packer like eating his mining party in the woods. In the funniest way.

SPEAKER_03

And then we find out in the what? In the funniest way.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, he's like ripping their arm off and beating them with it. Yeah. Yeah. Um it's it's it's pretty over the top uh 80s style gore, even though it was shot in the early 90s.

SPEAKER_03

I was concerned, to be honest, that the whole movie was gonna be like that. And I'm glad that that there was just a little touch of it to set the tone.

SPEAKER_05

Yeah, yeah. There was a there was a decent amount of it. There was a decent amount, especially towards the end when you get when you get like the when they start. Well, when they start. Oh, but oh, I don't want to get there yet. Spoiler alert. Spoiler already. Oh, we're gonna give spoilers for Cannibal the Musical. Sorry. Uh I'll put it in the show notes. But we but but then we find out at the beginning, uh, we see that grisly scene, and we find out that it is hit it is the opposing lawyer who is kind of acting that out. Uh telling this version. His depiction of the story. His depiction of the story. And I really I really liked the guy, like the guy who played the prosecuting attorney. He was cool. I liked all I liked all the acting. Yes.

SPEAKER_04

The whole cast, really, like especially knowing that like people weren't getting paid for this and they were just kind of getting a ragtag crew together. The the acting is is I mean, because even whenever it's not good, it's not good in the best way, you know. It's it's very well cast.

SPEAKER_05

That's right. And and um, so that's uh that and then and then Alfred Packer, uh, as played by Trey Parker, um, is all like grisly looking, he's all frazzled looking. That look on his face that he maintained, like as in prison, Alfred Packer, that just kind of like wide-eyed. I don't know. That was great.

SPEAKER_04

Have you looked up the actual photo of Alfred Packer?

SPEAKER_05

Yes.

SPEAKER_03

Uh or I saw I saw one.

SPEAKER_04

Oh, he looked, yeah, like he looked like the he's like the official photo of him, he's making that face. So Trey Parker is like doing that face. Yeah. Is this like that's Paul's face? Because I didn't look at the picture.

SPEAKER_03

He's doing the Alfred Packer face of the real Alfred Packer until I saw the movie. And then watching it, I was like, whoa.

SPEAKER_05

He's even got that wild goatee. I don't know why.

SPEAKER_03

That's what I'm saying. He they nailed it. And if I remember right, does he have like a piece of hair kind of sticking off to the side or something? Yeah.

SPEAKER_05

Yeah, he's got like a weird little swoop. This dude straight up looks like a cannibal. Like, if I saw that guy's face, I'd be like, oh, don't let that cannibal look.

SPEAKER_03

He's the version of like a plain beat-up 70s white van driving through the neighborhood real slowly. It's like, oh, yeah, like don't follow that guy into the woods. Don't you're gonna get eight from that guy?

SPEAKER_05

You can get it. Um and so they then they take him back, so there's like a little trial scene, and then they take him back to the jail cell. Um, and he was building like kind of a Lincoln Logs cabin the whole time. Right. That they never mention. He's never doing it. He's just doing it, and it's like a little better every scene, but he's like never puts anything together during the scene. He just kind of like fools with it and puts it on. He's and then Polly Pry, uh who was making Who again is a real person. She's a real person. Yeah, Polly.

SPEAKER_03

I didn't like anything about her.

SPEAKER_05

Polly Pry was the pen name of the Denver journalist who wrote about like pretty much everything in here is accurate except for like the like song numbers. Like this is all right, this is all how it happened.

SPEAKER_03

I didn't look up the Cyclops.

SPEAKER_05

The Cyclops is the Cyclops is also not real.

SPEAKER_03

Wait, are you looking at my eyes? Yeah, well, we'll get to that. We'll get to it.

SPEAKER_05

Uh so so he goes back to the jail cell, and then Polly Pry, who's this journalist, um, and and she was awesome. Maybe like in this movie, was the best actor and singer. Oh, I would and like like by a country mile, by a Colorado mile. Yeah, the best actor and singer in this movie.

SPEAKER_03

Trey Parker was were was he in like the film or was he more on like musical theater kind of like as far as I can see?

SPEAKER_05

I think he was in the film, he was like a film, I think he was a film student. They were film students together, yeah.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, and I'm guessing she was probably in the theater program or something.

SPEAKER_05

Yeah, she was like a real like a real like a real actor singer, and they've done she's voiced some stuff in South Park. Like a lot of these people have gone on to do movies to do movies with uh uh Trey Parker and Matt Stone. So she voiced some stuff in South Park. Um and one of the movies, I think she was maybe in one of the movies. Anyway, she comes in and she's interviewing Alfred Packer, she's trying to interview him, trying to butter him up so he'll tell the story, and then he starts telling the story, and that's where we kind of like cut back to uh what what his version of the story, which is basically what he told me was just gonna gloss over Leanne like that.

SPEAKER_04

I mean, that's how she gets it out of him, right?

SPEAKER_05

You're right. No, I'm sorry. I'm not telling Brent, do you want to tell us about Leanne? Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

Well, the prosecute no, or was it the prose yeah, I think it was the prosecuting attorney that sees her when she's on the way in, and uh he's like, uh he's gonna be pretty tight-lipped on you. And she's like, Well, you know, I'm gonna try. And he basically just gives her, tips her off and says, Well, if you want to get him talking, ask him about Lee Ann. And so uh she does. And uh at this point, we still don't really know who Lee Ann is until he just gives us a little bit of a description. He's like, Yeah, she she was just had these big, beautiful brown eyes and shiny hair and pointy ears and long tail, hair, and she was fast, you know, and then you realize she he's talking about his beloved horse. And this is where the flashback begins.

SPEAKER_05

Yeah, and he's riding on his horse, and we get the first musical number, Spadoinkle Day. And I feel like this is really like the gore at the beginning, the campy gore at the beginning, was kind of like the first time I saw this movie, I was like, Whoa, I don't know what I'm watching. What am I in for here? I feel like Spadoinkle Day, the song really sets up here's here's the ride we're taking.

SPEAKER_03

And it's quite a ride.

SPEAKER_05

It's quite a ride. Um I will say about the horse, like I this was something that I did not even think. To look up they uh because Aaron like grew up with horses and stuff, and she was she started saying like a couple of scenes in, she was like, I don't think that's the same horse, and I'm like, Yeah, brown horse, yeah, it's the same horse, a brown horse, you know, right? A horse, a horse's yeah, oh god, so many great things in there. She was like, That looks like a different horse, and I was like, I I think you're being I think you're being a little nitpicky. I looked it up later, they used 15 different horses. Every time that you see Leanne in a scene is a different horse. And that's it, that is a joke. They went to a lot of trouble to get 15 different horses just for like a background gag that I didn't get until I had been watching this movie for like three years.

SPEAKER_04

Revealing it to me right this moment. I like I I don't put enough attention towards a horse that and even if I did notice it because of the low budget, I wouldn't have assumed they went out of their way to do it. I would have assumed the opposite that they were like, well, they just grabbed what they could do. Whatever work is available, and I can suspend this belief for the sake of telling the story. I wouldn't even have flagged that.

SPEAKER_05

Yeah. So it gives it gives more meaning to the little uh a horse is a horse. Yes exchange. But like when he starts telling his story, we see uh we we see sh uh we see him riding on his horse, Leanne. Um and it's just man, I want to sing all of these songs.

SPEAKER_08

When I say it's a sperm cut day.

SPEAKER_05

Um and I think I feel like this whole this whole musical was like it was very like parodied on Oklahoma, right? Yeah, sure, yeah. And and they mentioned that kind of in the opening text that it opened, they they had some opening text that was very like Monty Python, kind of like those who sacked the sackers have now been sacked. It was that kind of like opening text.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, but I had that same because it going from that kind of thing and then going into the over-the-top gore, I was like, oh, this is very Monty Python stuff.

SPEAKER_05

It was very yeah, it was like early 90s, and these were those these was these were uh excuse me. Thanks for always opening your sodas on right by the microphone, Brent. Um never gonna edit it out. But there's so like they're in this little mining town in Utah, right? That that's and then and they're trying to get together uh they're trying to get together an expedition to go mine gold in Brecken Ridge, Colorado. And they're they've just lost their guide, Lucky Larry. They were like, he was struck by lightning, and they're hauling him off in a tarp, and he's like on fire. And uh and Packer's like, is he gonna be okay? But then you see flames coming off the body, and then he's like uh he he ends up being the kind of de facto guide. They're like, We're gonna have Alfred Packer. He's been to Colorado territory, the real Alfred Packer basically did the same thing where he kind of misrepresented, like, oh yeah, I'm a wheel color Colorado wilderness expert. It's that way. Only three weeks. Only three weeks. Um and then they uh and then they take off. And uh Matt Stone is in the party too. And I feel like we had at one point, I heard Cartman's voice. Oh, yes.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, when they first get to the to the town, uh, he's singing Spadoinkle Day in Cartman's voice, but off off camera, so that you don't really uh it's not really they don't associate it directly with any character in the film, but it's you know an unmistakable voice for anybody that's familiar with it.

SPEAKER_03

No, I just was like you wrote down that Cartman's voice makes an appearance at 1620. Oh wow, we got the time code, yeah. Because I even uh earlier I heard Mr. Garrison, and then I realized like for me that I'm seeing this movie as uh uh and I have South Park as a reference, but yeah, you guys saw this movie before you ever saw South Park. So you were watching South Park and you had this as a reference. Well, for me I would have been Yeah, go ahead, George.

SPEAKER_05

Oh I was gonna say so South Park started in what like 97 or 98. So I think I had already seen South Park. I probably didn't watch this movie till like 99, 2000. Oh, that makes sense. Yeah, same. Same exact thing for me. Oh, you didn't see it in the theater. No, I don't think anybody saw this. I don't know that it had a theatrical release. I don't think anybody saw this in the theater, yeah.

SPEAKER_03

In the auditorium at Colorado.

SPEAKER_05

But I think I think I remember I think I remember recognizing some of the like voices as like, oh, that's a South Park voice. Yeah. Because it was pretty fresh, like South Park was pretty fresh. Same at that time. Um, and I think in like, I don't know about you, Brent, but like everybody was doing a Cartman voice. Like my junior senior year of high school, like everybody had a Cartman.

SPEAKER_03

Um I'm older, but even in my friend group, everybody had a Cartman voice.

SPEAKER_05

It was like the kids, if you're if you're listening to this and you're like under the age of 35, this was like our Borat. This is like this was like Borat for our generation.

SPEAKER_04

Do you know what year Borat came out? Because I'm gonna assume it had to have been like 2007 or 8 or something. I mean, we're talking about a 20-year-old movie still that you reference.

SPEAKER_05

I know, I know, but I'm saying that like this was like the the like Cartman and the Cartman was like 10 years before that easily. I'm gonna I'm gonna guess that that uh Borat was like 2006, 2007.

SPEAKER_03

There's no way to there's no way to know.

SPEAKER_05

Science can never there's no there's no way to know. Uh we have to just keep moving on. Um and then they've got I think their second song is That's All I'm Asking For.

SPEAKER_03

Air real fast. This is something that I wrote down. I don't know if we're there yet, but when they're they're getting supplies for the trip, yeah, I thought it they set up the dumbest joke. Yes, yeah. They was getting like gosh, they have fudge here. Like when they were like with this guy's name, like you know, just in coming up with the idea of the movie, there's like, oh, we gotta have a fudge packer joke. We gotta have a fudge packer joke in here. And so it was just so random. Hey, did they have fudge here? And didn't think anything about it again until 20 minutes later.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, and you realized that that whole line was nothing more than the setup for just a dad joke or a stupid joke.

SPEAKER_05

I was gonna ask you if you if if that perked your ears up at all when he was like, oh, they hit fudge.

SPEAKER_03

Yes, I I did, and I thought that was weird. I was I thought it reminded me of you know when you go to the uh the gift shop or whatever. Uh and it reminded me of that kind of thing. Yeah, it wasn't later. I I the horror of realizing You're like, yeah, they they set that joke up.

SPEAKER_05

Oh man. Yeah, they set they set that hook and then they just waited. Oh.

SPEAKER_03

I I appreciate that the that they could wait that long. Uh it was it was gold.

SPEAKER_05

But that was I think that was later when they were re or that was that initially, or was that later when they like made it to the first town?

SPEAKER_04

That's the first town was whenever they get when they do when they buy the fudge.

SPEAKER_03

Okay, so I got ahead.

SPEAKER_04

But no, we were we were always talking about the first town. Same place, same place as the Cartman voice. Yeah. Also the same place where we meet Frenchie Cabazon in his group.

SPEAKER_05

Yes. So they meet the trappers next in Provo, right? When they're stocking up uh uh Frenchie and do they name the other ones? Did they name the other guys? I don't think they ever say their names. I don't think they do either, but it's these tough dudes, these three tough dudes, and Frenchie Cowazan, who's like this short guy that has a ballet number later, spoiler later. Um and they're like they're talking about his horse, and they're like, that's a that's not a that's not a digger horse, that's a packer horse. Trapper or trapper horse.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, no, Arabian's a trapper horse. Like any dumbass knows.

SPEAKER_05

She can't live with no dumb no boring ass digger.

SPEAKER_04

And this really affects Alfred Packer. He really takes this message to heart in the moment. He takes this message to heart too.

SPEAKER_05

He's very sensitive. Yeah. He's a sensitive guy. But then Leanne goes missing right after that.

unknown

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05

Right? Like they're they're kind of traveling. They meet the they meet these strappers, Leanne goes missing, he wakes up and finds his horse is gone. He's pretty devastated.

SPEAKER_04

Um, did you want to because uh she goes missing right after the that's all I'm asking for number. Did we have anything to address on this brilliant musical? Because I feel like it's a little expositional for our characters of you know, giving giving motivation for why each of them is traveling in a short way.

SPEAKER_05

Yeah. It's good exposition. They all sing about why they want to go uh get gold.

SPEAKER_03

So to sum up the different reasons, one guy wants to start a church, another guy wants to get laid, another guy wants to open the butcher. Oh, another guy wants to be a butcher. Yeah, butcher, that's right. Well, the one guy is a butcher, he is always a butcher. He wants to be a big shop.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, but he wants to go shop.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah. I don't know. But he doesn't want to see him.

SPEAKER_04

Humphrey is basically just sent out there by his parents. He just wants to make a gazillion dollars. That's his only motivation.

SPEAKER_05

Just to be rich. Humphrey played by Matt Stone.

SPEAKER_04

Matt Stone.

SPEAKER_05

Played by Cartman himself.

SPEAKER_04

No, Trey Parker's Cartman.

SPEAKER_05

Is he? Yeah. Is he? Matt Stone's I'm a dummy. I'm gonna cut this part out and insert something insert me saying something really smart instead. In Cartman's voice. That I can't I can't do my Cartman anymore. It's been so many years in the world.

SPEAKER_04

Trey Parker is Cartman and uh and Kyle and then and Stan is or uh uh Matt Stone is Stan and Kenny.

SPEAKER_05

Matt Stan?

SPEAKER_04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05

Uh yeah, they do uh I said that backwards.

SPEAKER_04

Kyle, Kyle, I'm sorry, Kyle, the Jew Kyle is uh Matt Stone. I said it backwards. Yeah. Kyle and Kenny are Matt Stone. Okay. Stan and Cartman are Trey Parker. Alright, we got it. Get it settled.

SPEAKER_05

We can't, I said their names wrong in the last episode, so we can't get this shit.

SPEAKER_04

We gotta redeem ourselves. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05

We got to. Um They're they're asking for not a lot. They just want they just want a little gold. Um and then Leanne goes missing the next day. Right? And yes, doesn't he he sings about uh he sings about Leanne later because they have to do the river crossing first.

SPEAKER_04

Right, yes. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05

So they get to the the first river they cross is the Green River. Let's we gotta take a quick break, guys. We gotta hear a word from our sponsor. We're gonna come back and start at crossing the Green River. Be right back. And welcome back. We're talking about Cannibal the Musical. Uh Johnny just gulped down some water or tea or something really loud. I wish I had gotten it. I wish I'd gotten it. Yeah, we get some mouth noises. We're gonna punch in some mouth noises. Uh we just were getting to the part where they were crossing the Green River, the first river crossing. They get to this big river, and they do a lot of establishing shots of like it's a pretty it's a pretty like wide river. With a heavy flow. A heavy flow. And they're like, how are we supposed to cross here? And Packer's like, well, I thought there was a bridge. Yeah. But they don't there's not a bridge. No. So, but Johnny, do you want to walk us through how they cross this river?

SPEAKER_04

Well, m I like that, but before even we get to that part though, I feel like we should at least mention that they they go through a couple of uh you know moments of conversation where a couple of ideas are thrown out there of what might be a good solution to this, you know, yeah uh with uh Humphreys uh saying that maybe we should take the wheelbarrow, build it into a little boat, float it across, then build it into a boat.

SPEAKER_05

Then build it back into a wheelbarrow.

SPEAKER_04

Then uh Packer tries to show the way by uh taking uh a rather large stone in his hand. Oh, that was and flopping it. They were like funny. How deep did it?

SPEAKER_05

They're like how deep do you think it is? And he takes a rock and throws it in the water, and then they all just stand there for a second.

SPEAKER_03

Well, what it what did that do? Well, I don't know. It was I I I'll tell you, I honestly for a moment when he threw rock in, I thought You're waiting. I thought, wow, I didn't know you could tell how deep something was. Yeah. By throwing a rock in. Yeah, you can't.

SPEAKER_04

Uh I mean, this movie is just hilarious, though. Like that, the jokes like that just send me.

SPEAKER_05

Yeah, it was a lot, it was like non-stop little bits. Um Did we pass the you're all doomed guy yet?

SPEAKER_04

Did that guy Oh yeah, no, that was that was before they even get to provost.

SPEAKER_05

They're like they were like Alfred Packers, like we're like, we were on our way to Provo, and that was when I got my first bad feeling, and they just passed this guy. Didn't they pass it? That was later. That was like a later.

SPEAKER_03

Alright.

SPEAKER_04

Well that and that well, that was whenever they were making camp and they're at the at the camp when after they sing it's all I'm asking for. But yeah, it's the voice of the guy anyway. But yeah, the creepy, you're doomed. Yeah. The guy just looks at me, he's like, You're doomed!

SPEAKER_05

You're all doomed. You're doomed. Turn back now. Turn back. You're all doomed. And then he just slowly like walks around them and they're like looking at me, he's like, You're doomed. You're all doomed.

SPEAKER_03

So are the I feel like doomed is just like your fate. Like you can't change it. But then he says, you know, if you turn back now, then are you not doomed if you turn out how to do it?

SPEAKER_04

I guess that's part of the prophecy, is he's like telling you you should turn back now, but he knows you're not gonna be able to do it. You're not going to.

SPEAKER_03

You're not going to. Okay, so it's a it's a commentary on the psychology of humanity. Yeah, it could be. Okay.

SPEAKER_05

Probably. Um, but so then the way that they cross the river. John Johnny, would you would you please tell us how they actually cross this river?

SPEAKER_03

So they just jump in and start They run in. They run in.

SPEAKER_05

They r they like count down. They grab all their stuff and they're like, one, two, three, and then they just run. Well, I think Swan goes on two. Yes, Swan does go on two. It's such a swan thing to do.

SPEAKER_03

And then the the river that looks I don't know, it didn't look that bad, but they didn't show rapids because then they're suddenly tumbling down rapids and waterfalls.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, it's not the best continuity uh between the crossover and when they hit the street.

SPEAKER_03

I did it, I did appreciate showing the map of how far downstream they went before they hit dry land again.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, they went quite south.

SPEAKER_05

Quite south. Yeah. But they're they did I did love the little montage of them because it was clearly like they they had to find some rapids that were not too dangerous. Dangerous.

SPEAKER_04

This is a student that they could stand in and and have water hit them for sure.

SPEAKER_05

So, like, so like they're trying to portray that these guys are in the river for quite some time, and there's like a montage of them going through rapids, but it's like it's all very close up.

SPEAKER_03

You know, it's just this probably like that same spot.

SPEAKER_05

Yeah, it's probably like them just they found like one little spot and they were like, we can just film a bunch of stuff and cut it together. You guys just get in the water and flail around. And that's what they did. And they did. Um and then they're swept way, way, way down, and they get out and they're all cold and can't feel their nuts. Oh. And so they're like, they're like, we got they're like, we gotta start a fire. Get some body heat going. Think swan's like, we gotta get some body heat going. And then it cuts to them all like naked around the fire. They're all like sharing they're all paired up, they're all sharing sleeping bags.

SPEAKER_03

And paired up, yeah. And I'll love it when he's like, I can't feel my balls, can't feel my balls. And then he said, Oh, I can feel them. But you see him like bringing his hands out from below the covers. This whole time he's just been holding on to him.

SPEAKER_05

But what was the what was the kid's name? The like uh the guy who was just looking for sex, the horn I can't uh moon's his last name.

SPEAKER_03

Did you say George Moon? I think it's George Moon. Yeah, that sounds right.

SPEAKER_05

But he's like he's lying next to the he's lying next to the guy who's the butcher. Mr. Miller. Mr. Miller, who's a butcher. Miller the butcher. Who's always in timeout? He's always in timeout, and he was like, and he's like, and they're like, uh, they're like, oh, this is uncomfortable, like being in a bunk with another naked guy, and noon's like, just do what I'm doing. Just pretend I'm pretending Miller's a tall, firm, naked woman. And he's like, what? What?

SPEAKER_04

I was like, oh god damn it, and he gets up ass naked and leaves the camp.

SPEAKER_03

At least we got some nudity from this movie.

SPEAKER_05

Yes, good, good old uh full on ass shot of the dude.

SPEAKER_04

Uh full full backle? What's the difference of opposite of full frontal? It's a full back. Full reel? Uh yeah, full backle.

SPEAKER_05

Full veto. Vito. We could never call it full backle.

SPEAKER_04

Accepted.

SPEAKER_03

Uh uh I veto your veto. Full backle, it is. Oh man. Come on, you got another veto card. I'm gonna use it now.

SPEAKER_05

We we didn't use any in the first half, so we gotta get him going. Um, this is when he sings uh when I was on top of you, thinking about uh Leanne, and at the end of the song, we we get the fudge packer joke. Um because he feels uh he feels bad for uh for Packer and Oxford.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, well right before that, Humphrey had rem remembered that he had wait, I have fudge. He pulls it out and then they sing the song and then he just offers it so generously, fudge packer.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, and they didn't even dwell on it, they just moved on. Yeah, they gave great. It was just a perfect delivery.

SPEAKER_05

Trey Parker did a little He had a little like eyebrow raise. That was it. The whole payoff.

SPEAKER_04

He keeps going back to that to that official Packer face, though.

SPEAKER_05

Packer face. Yeah. You can do Packer Face. Fudge Packer face. Uh and then they meet the Indians, which I don't think that we can do the voices. Don't this was clearly one of the like fictionalized parts of the movie. But they meet a tribe of Indians that's basically all Japanese. Or all Japanese Japanese.

SPEAKER_04

And they never actually address it directly. There's a lot of indirect references to it.

SPEAKER_05

Okay.

SPEAKER_04

Like the the TPs have will be like white TPs with just one red dot, and even the chief the chief himself acts very suspicious for no reason. Like, you don't think we are Indians? We have we have teepees.

SPEAKER_05

Look at and Packers like they do have a lot of TPs. This is this is the number one that that is the number one uh passage that me and my friends quote to each other is you don't think we are Indians? Look at all these teepees we have because we are Indians.

SPEAKER_03

Oh, that's great.

SPEAKER_05

And Alfred Packers were the voice, it was fine. Alfred Packer is like they do have a lot of teepees.

SPEAKER_03

I will tell you that this this scene once the Indians were clearly Japanese, that was the moment that I like fell in love with this movie. That was it? That did it for you. It really was. I laughed out loud on the plane, pretty like gave it a pretty good go.

SPEAKER_04

They're like looking. One of the things me and my friends would say a lot of the time is whenever they first meet the Japanese Indians, uh air quote Indians, uh, that is whenever they see them across the ridge, they are like, oh, we better duck down. And then almost immediately they look up and they're right there beside them. And the first thing that the man on the horse says to them is Akiriwanami Mododa. That was something me and my friends would also say to each other a lot. Do you know what I mean? No idea what it means. But no, I have no idea what that means. Uh actually, according to Humphreys, it's welcome to the land of blue light. I'm a carpenter, and this is my brother.

SPEAKER_05

This is my brother Kyle.

SPEAKER_03

Oh man. I wish I saw this.

SPEAKER_04

I am a carpenter, and this is my brother Kyle. Humphreys. It also we we've kind of glossed over that it's very well established in the beginning and throughout the movies, uh, that throughout the movie that Humphrey's a pathological liar. I mean, just can I mean cannot stop telling fibs no matter what. Uh so when he tries to translate uh for the group, you can tell that everything that he's translating is he's just making it up as he goes.

SPEAKER_05

And then Miller goes to attack him, and the first thing that he does is like taekwondo's it, like the Indian like guy taekwondo's it on the game.

SPEAKER_04

Kicks his leg over the horse to like side kick him in the side of the head.

SPEAKER_05

Yeah. And then they or not the knife, it's a gun. I think he pulls out the gun. The gun's been pulled out like a couple of times. We're foreshadowing with the gun get keeping getting pulled out. Um but then they go to this camp, they're staying with the Indians, uh, who are like practicing taekwondo. Um and then Alfred Packer starts practicing taekwondo, and we meet the Packers. Uh the I keep saying the Packers, the freaking trappers. The trappers. Um, and we get the Trapper song, which might be my favorite song. That that we that this is the second most quoted uh the the second most quoted thing uh by my particular friend group is the like when they're like they keep singing that song and they're talking about ripping out the hearts of innocent animals and stuff, and they do the yo ho yo ho yo ho and then Humphreys like disgusting, stop. And he's like, he's like, Yeah, I agree, you're singing out of key. And they have a whole musical discussion, they have this whole musical discussion, and it's all accurate too. They're like, they're like, Well, if anything, if anything, it's F sharp major. No, they're saying where this song is in. Yes.

SPEAKER_04

Well, they're talking about he's like, no, the the because A, the relative murder of C is is A, you know, and then he's like, well, but we're B flat is in there. He's like, wait a minute, are you singing Mixolydian skills?

SPEAKER_05

You guys talking Mixolydian skills? If well, if anything, it's erased 13th. Uh yeah, the the the Packer song or shit Packer, I keep calling Packers. The trapper song. The trapper song.

SPEAKER_08

Um Now that I'm a trapper, I'm the toughest guy in town.

SPEAKER_05

Second meanest. And then uh kind of then they go back out into the wilderness, right? So they have this like they're like waiting in the in the Indian camp for a storm to blow over.

SPEAKER_04

Um and George almost meets a love interest, but she just doesn't quite return the feelings. You know, but he's uh yep, yep, yep. I like you found out.

SPEAKER_05

He's like, really? I'm a sensitive, um, sensitive guy. I like to write. I like to do that. Very interesting.

SPEAKER_03

I like to do sculpture with my hands. With my hands.

SPEAKER_05

That's also very interesting.

SPEAKER_03

You don't know what I'm saying, do you?

SPEAKER_05

But then the tr then the trappers go off uh into the mountain, and and Alfred Packer is like, we gotta go after the trappers. I mean, uh maybe they saw a break in the storm. We should go. They go back out into the wilderness. At this point, everybody in the party is still alive, but they're in this storm in the mountain. It gets really snowy and really cold, and they're hungry again. Um They eat their shoes. There's like a campfire scene where they eat their shoes because there's salt in the shoe leather. Can you guys can you eat leather?

SPEAKER_04

I don't I assume it's a lot of people. This is also part of the real story of these this lost expedition. They uh did eat their shoes uh for the leather and then had to like rewrap their feet and you know cloths and stuff to try to protect from the snow. But uh yeah, so apparently there is a little bit of nutrition in the leather uh because that's what they did.

SPEAKER_03

Well, just because they ate it, does that mean that there actually is nutrition in the leather? Fair just something.

SPEAKER_04

I have not looked up to see. Yeah, I mean, I'm sure when you're desperate you're willing to try anything. I can't verify factually that there is any substantial amount of nutrition in it, but they did in fact eat their their shoes.

SPEAKER_05

But I mean the leather is dry is dried cow skin. Flesh. Yeah. So there's gotta be something there's probably some calories in it. It's kind of like jerky. It's like it's gotta be similar to jerky. The forbidden jerky.

SPEAKER_03

Alright, we've got uh we've got a title for the episode. The forbidden jerky. Discussing cannibal, the musical.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, that's a pretty good that's a pretty good episode title.

SPEAKER_05

Uh and then we get uh so they eat their shoes, and then they're then they're hiking the next day, they're tired, they're cold, they're hungry, and I feel like Humphreys has a recurring line of like, oh, I'm so hungry, I can't go on. And Swan, uh ever the optimist.

SPEAKER_04

Oh, but the or the sheep. They see the sheep. Oh yeah, they see a little sheep. But that leads them to an encounter with uh the mountain cyclops. The cyclops.

SPEAKER_05

They keep they're they've keep getting getting they've been teased a couple of times, the cyclops. Like, watch out for the cyclops, and they're like, oh, that's just a myth. Uh and then they run into the mountain cycle.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, it turns out to just be this huge mountain man, like a hermit basically in the mountains that uh when you see him, uh they they they they're they're scared, but and you just see that he's got this missing eye, and he wants he demands immediately to know if they're looking at his eye, and every time he shouts it, it just gushes out some sort of like pus-like secretion.

SPEAKER_05

So much so much pus squirts out of the. It was like that was the grossest gore effect.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah. Uh and then he It was it was he informs them immediately that uh he he was in the he fought for the Confederate Army and the big one, and a Union Army boy did this to them and wants to know if any of them fought for the Union, and they immediately start pretending to be Southern boys.

SPEAKER_03

Oh, I wish I was in the land of code.

SPEAKER_04

That was another line that we would kill. Yeah, another line that we would quote a lot is whenever he would say, You them boys have been killing my my goats, and he thought, no, we just now got here.

SPEAKER_02

Oh, we just now got hippie ding dang dog.

SPEAKER_05

And then he does uh look away, look away, look away.

SPEAKER_04

And he leaves it open for the for the Dixieland, but Humphrey, uh the ever liar and always inserting himself, stupid yanks. You boys ain't southern boy.

SPEAKER_05

And then they start getting chased by the cyclops.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, well, they they run away pretty quickly, and then it just kind of cuts on from there. We move on with the adventure.

SPEAKER_05

Oh yeah, we move on. So they got away from the Cyclops, I guess.

SPEAKER_04

But now we're back to the them being stuck in the snow and Humphrey being an optimist.

SPEAKER_05

Yeah. Uh well, I think it's Swan as being an optimist.

SPEAKER_04

I'm sorry, you're right. Uh, Swan, the the outside.

SPEAKER_05

And Swan sings the song Let's Build a Snowman. Uh just and they all just deadpan stare at him the whole time. He's singing the song. And he builds like seven different snowmen during the course of this song.

SPEAKER_04

And they change a few times too. At one point when he's tap dancing in the in the lowered part of the snow, you can see that the snowman gets an alien head for a little bit.

SPEAKER_05

It does get an alien head for a little bit. It was just random little like inconsistent. Like, they'd made a joke out of inconsistency in in this move in this movie that was just like pleasing every time. Like the thing about the 15 different horses, like, what a nugget that I'm learning, you know, decades later. So I've I've seen it, the number of times I've seen it has to be triple digits. And I didn't know that. Um let's build a snowman, and then Miller like destroys his snowman. They spin like a real a really long shot.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, pickaxing the snowman to death.

SPEAKER_03

Timeout for you, buddy.

SPEAKER_05

Timeout. Uh and then uh God, what what happens after that? They're uh they do because he does he reprises that song not too much later. I feel like I'm a little lost.

SPEAKER_04

The order the order was a little bit off because it's actually after the snowman incident, is whenever they start getting more desperate, they eat their shoes, time keeps dragging on, they're getting more lost, they're in this canyon once again. Did they make it to the uh Grand Canyon yet? No, not that that happened uh no actually. Well, that was before. That was that was before the Cyclops and all that.

SPEAKER_05

They make it to the Grand Canyon, and he's like, we'll just go around that's just go around.

SPEAKER_04

Uh but yeah, whenever he gets to the reprise of every they're desperate to say, we just don't know what to do, and it's obvious that they're all knocking on death's door, and then Swan says, I know what we can do. Let's build snowman, and they all were immediately telling him, Shut the fuck up, Swan. Shut the fuck up. And uh, you know, the the What's the guy's name?

SPEAKER_05

The guy who wants to build the church.

SPEAKER_04

I don't know anybody's names. Um Bell. Bell, that's exactly right. Shannon Wilson Bell. Shannon Wilson Bell. Yeah, is the one that he just he finally absolutely can't take it, and this gun that we've seen teased several times comes into action very quickly with uh Mr. Bell pointing it over in Swan's direction, pulls the trigger, and you just see brain shrapnel fly out of the back of his head as Swan falls down with a smile permanently locked to his face.

SPEAKER_05

Permanently locked on his face. And then we're gonna go back to the city.

SPEAKER_04

They go over to inspect his body, uh, to which George declares, He's dead.

SPEAKER_07

That's the best.

SPEAKER_05

Oh his brains are all over the snow. Uh and then they cut to camp and they're like it's it's all them around camp, and then they've got Swan's body like kind of off to the side. And George is like George is like, he looks so happy, almost like he's about to start singing a song. No, and then some music starts playing.

SPEAKER_03

And I 100% thought you thought I thought it was gonna happen.

SPEAKER_05

They start zooming in close to his face, they do like a little I thought I was like, it's that kind of movie.

SPEAKER_03

Come on. Come on and do it.

SPEAKER_05

He does it. And then they're like, uh and then they start talking about eating him.

SPEAKER_04

Well, they they bring up the the Donner party. The Donner Party. This was something that historically was very everyone was very aware of it at the time. So uh, yeah, one of them you know brings up like, well, you remember those guys, they had to eat each other to stay alive, and then it pans back over there, and then Humphrey says he just breaks the the silence as well, heck yeah, why not?

SPEAKER_05

And look at Humphrey, you wouldn't even eat your shoe. You want to eat a human buddy?

SPEAKER_04

You put your feet in shoes. So they do start eating him. Uh and and which uh very quickly Humphrey's moving on to eating the actual foot of Swan, which is a little ironic.

SPEAKER_03

But the football where he's like you're cutting into the butt. Well, what kind of peace do you want? Well, not well, not the butt.

SPEAKER_04

Not but uh so good.

SPEAKER_03

Uh no, and I like uh um what do we say? The guy that uh the murderer what's his name? Shannon Wilson Bell. Uh I like it. He's like, well, I don't want any. And they're like, well, you're in timeout anyway. He was in timeout for murdering. So it makes me think they they they put timeout as a joke just so they could say the guy that got murdered is in timeout.

SPEAKER_04

Isn't timeout.

SPEAKER_05

Yeah. It is good. Timeout was a good ongoing joke. But then they wake up the next morning and Humphrey's like, do we have any more Swan? I want breakfast.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, I also liked that beyond that scene, you could tell that they'd, you know, eaten uh clearly they'd stayed there for a little bit and eaten off of Swan because you see them once again trekking through the mountains, but now Packer is uh clinging on to the remaining bits of Swan's corpse, which is nothing more than uh part of his torso with a majority of his head attached, although not the very top of it, as though they went at the brain at some point. And yet Swan's still sitting there with just a locked-in perma smile going on.

SPEAKER_05

Yeah. And things get worse and worse. They then they have to cross the Colorado, right?

SPEAKER_04

Oh, that happened already.

SPEAKER_05

That happened already, okay. So God, what so there the this is like kind of the the the climax of the of his retelling of the story. Because we kind of cut back and cut away, like cut away to fr from his retelling back to the jailhouse once or twice.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, and then that happens through like that's is sprinkled throughout the movie to give you the more you know current day, at least, you know, v to to the start of the movie, of what's going on throughout the trial. But ultimately the the main storyline is following the backstory of his take on what had happened throughout the mountains.

SPEAKER_05

But in the cutaways, we do get some like important kind of like plot exposition. Polly Pry sort of like falls in love with Alfred Packer, and she has a song about him, which was like the it's it was like the most legit kind of written song.

SPEAKER_04

Which also serves to make it the most boring one throughout the film.

SPEAKER_05

It's the most boring song in the film, it's the best performed song, probably like the the most kind of straight song, and she's she does a great job of it's just kind of a boring scene.

SPEAKER_04

That's not true.

SPEAKER_03

That's not what we're here for.

SPEAKER_05

Yeah, every time every time I get to this scene, uh every time I get to the I don't fast forward through it. I never would do that to this movie.

SPEAKER_04

But it's it's when you go pee and stuff, right?

SPEAKER_05

Yeah, I'm like, oh, this scene. This is this is the scene that I talk over and stuff. I don't know any of the words to it.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, it's almost like George was in my friend group back in high school because same exact experience here. So I went to high school.

SPEAKER_03

I would like to use my final veto card on that scene. There we go. Okay. So you know, so you don't ever have to watch it again, ever, George. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

We gotta keep moving. In fact, I'm gonna use my first veto to cowboy this thing and say that like we basically kind of push through a little bit to what because we're getting low on time, but the integral point here is that all of them have completely given up hope. They are set settled around this campfire and basically say, we can't go on anymore. There's nothing more we can do. Uh so then they start talking about maybe we should eat somebody else and bring up, you know, Shannon Wilson Bell again. Hey, he was the one that killed Swan. Yeah, let's get him. Say, well, no, get Packer. He was the one that brought us on this whole thing. Packer says, you know what? Let me go look up over the next ridge while you guys sit tight. I'll come back and report what I see. Which uh to connect it with actual true events, this was the telling of like Packer's like third retelling of the story. He changed his story a lot of times in real life. And this was like the third take on it, where he said, No, we were all settled in, but he said Shannon Bell was the one that sent me on this, you know, go look over the ridge. And uh, whenever in the movie and in the real life telling of it, by the time Packer comes back, you see everybody in the camp murdered with a rock on their head, a hatchet in their neck, or crotch, whatever it may be, and Shannon Bell comes comes back to the camp covered in blood, carrying some firewood, saying, Yeah, they tried to murder me, you know, but I as soon as you left, I did what I could to defend myself. But hey, uh Lord works in mysterious ways. Now we got enough meat to to survive. Uh yeah.

SPEAKER_05

And then he quickly tries to kill Packer. Because Packer's like, well, if you if it's self-defense, we could just uh Yeah, we should just tell somebody. And uh and then and then Bell goes to kill Packer, and then Packer kills kills Bell. But he doesn't have the easiest time doing it. He doesn't have an easy time doing it at all. He has to kill him like three different times. Why won't you die?

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, uh for those who haven't seen it, uh as soon as this exchange happens, Packer quickly takes a cleaver uh that was in one of the bodies nearby, puts it inside of the uh, I guess, you know, his right, but you know, to audience left side of of uh Bell's face, and then you think that he's he's dead, but no, Bell quickly gets back up, the music becomes dramatic again, to which Packer grabs a gun and shoots him through his forehead. Surely he would have couldn't survive this, right? Wrong. He gets back up once again, chasing him around, which uh or actually Packer was checking on him with a sharp stick.

SPEAKER_05

Bell tries to sit back up so he immediately jabs through the and then and then he gets up again and he hits him with a pickaxe, like in the chest. In the chest.

SPEAKER_04

Deeply deep into his heart. Uh and that does seem to you have a couple more dramatic swells, but ultimately it we at this moment can take it that that Bell's finally been killed.

SPEAKER_05

Alright. Let's speed ahead a little bit. He goes, Alfred Packer gets into Sigwatch, and uh he's without his whole party. Uh he's there for a bit, and then they're like, uh, where hey, where'd your party go? And he's like, Oh, I don't know. And they start chasing him, and uh they chase him to Wyoming and they track him down, bring him back to Colorado, and then put him in this trial, and then we cut to like Hanging Day. Oh, the another just so many great jokes, but like the night before he's gonna be hanged uh to death, he's talking to Polly Pry, and she's like she's like, I'm sure we'll figure something out where you know we'll we'll uh we'll appeal it or whatever. You're you're never gonna we're never you're never gonna get to hanging day. Smash cut to hanging day.

SPEAKER_03

Well, I like when when she said something and and then he said you know, oh well, you know, you just love the the the DA or whatever. She's like, what are you jealous? He's like, no, I'm gonna be I'm gonna be dead tomorrow. I'm gonna die tomorrow. Why would I be jealous? I thought that was good.

SPEAKER_05

Yeah. Uh but then they cut to hanging day and and the most ambitious like musical number, right?

SPEAKER_04

Oh, be big time. I mean, we're talking about a cast of probably what 40 people here in the world.

SPEAKER_05

There's gotta be like 40 or 50 people, and they're there's big wide shots, they're do there's dance numbers of like the whole town is celebrating hanging him. There's these big dance numbers.

SPEAKER_04

This is where they blew their budget.

SPEAKER_05

I well, I don't think any of these actors got paid, but like certainly with some of the set and the whatever, but like they they must have gotten the whole like musical theater department. They were like, hey, can we have the musical theater department for like two weeks? Yeah. But like it was the choreography was like pretty good, you know? Like this the dancing was all was was pretty good. It was a great scene. And then Leanne or uh not Leanne, then Pa Poly Pry like rescues him at the last minute with a letter of pardon, which is essentially what happened in real life. Like the the journalist like really like pushes, and this is how it got overturned was just the fact that like he got tried before Colorado had. Been made a state. So they it was just like a technicality in the trial, and that was like the real life of it. And now for the hacker in real life serves like 15 years and then is paroled.

SPEAKER_03

In real life, he ended up doing 40 years. I think that they uh in the appeal he ended up getting 40 years. I don't know, but uh yeah, who knows? But that doesn't matter. I don't know why I just said that. Who cares?

SPEAKER_05

I mean 40 years is is a lot. That's a long time.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, no, I I remember thinking, I was like, oh. But in real life, I think it's like.

SPEAKER_04

If she does save him from the the hanging day, uh Frenchie Cabazon comes back to the stand and decides he's not satisfied with it, tries to pull the lever to hang Alfred Packer once again, but the uh Chief Chief Aston from the Indian tribe shows back up with his katana sword katana, lops off the fret the head of Frenchie Cabazan, saves Alfred Packer, uh, and then says, Well, now you can have your horse Lee Ann back. And he says, Ah, that's okay. I don't even want her back anymore. You can have her chief. And he says, You don't want the horse, and uh redraws the katana at the state.

SPEAKER_05

Yeah, and just walks off.

SPEAKER_04

And you hear a horse getting killed off screen, and then And then right before Polly Pry and Alfred uh ride back up into the sunset together, once again you have Shannon Wilson Bell with a pickaxe in his chest, a cleaver in his face, and a stick in his eyes show back up to make one final attack.

SPEAKER_05

Uh great great film. Movie was great. We at the end, this is the first movie I think you've reviewed with us, Johnny. Right? Yes. Um at the end, we have a veto. Veto the movie or not, I'll start. I'm not vetoing this movie. This movie is one of it's one of my all-time favorites. I think that everybody should watch it. It's they have done a number of the it went off Broadway as a musical for a while. There have been countless college theater productions and community theater productions of this. This is an important piece of of media. It's an important piece of media. Get yourself and and it was streaming for free on Amazon Prime. Like I thought for sure I was gonna pay $3.99 to rent this somewhere, but it's streaming on Amazon Prime. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

So check it out.

SPEAKER_05

Check it out. Uh Brent, what do you think? I think I know your answer.

SPEAKER_04

Oh, this uh yeah, this is an important piece of media, man. I mean, you can't veto something that you know what was not only you're you mentioned the importance of the like offshoots of the the production itself, but as we talked about earlier, the I guess kind of milestone moment that this ended up becoming for very many, you know, important talents, and in particular Trey Parker and Matt Stone going on to such big things like this. Yeah, we can't veto this. This is an amazing, amazing thing.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah. What what did you think, Johnny? It was great. I think I cannot veto it. I think it that um they whatever the formula of taking some very dark subject matter and and making fun of it and putting it to song is a formula I I would not have guessed would work so well. But they've they've mastered it. And it's this was it was fun to see the kind of the origins. And I appreciate that it was just such a low budget. I think if it was a better budget Oh yeah, I don't even think it would work. Yeah, it wouldn't be you know, if they remade it or something and and try to make it serious or better, it couldn't be any better. I think it's perfect.

SPEAKER_04

I think we've just got to the campiness of it definitely lends itself to the spirit of exactly what they're selling.

SPEAKER_05

Yeah, it's very like Evil Dead, if Evil Dead was like a musical.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05

It's uh it's great. And it sets them up for a great career in satire. Like the the the ability to make light of very serious, appalling matters has, you know, served them well for a while. They're still doing it. Um this movie got 61% on Rotten Tomatoes, uh, with one critic saying, if you're only going to watch one black comedy about a real life explorer whose fellow travelers ended up eaten, make it cannibal the musical.

SPEAKER_03

Agreed.

SPEAKER_05

I don't agree with 61%. No. I don't know who I don't know who these people are.

SPEAKER_04

Well, those are the people that are going, well, the film was overexposed in a lot of areas, and the color grading was quite saturated, and uh the sound made, you know, like they're gonna go at it from like a film scoring angle instead of just taking it for what it's meant to be.

SPEAKER_05

Yeah, and you know what? I veto those takes. Yeah. I'm gonna veto all those takes.

SPEAKER_04

Actually, I think you're out of uh veto cards, but I'll I'll use mine. I have one more. Yeah, yeah. I've in your on your behalf, George, I veto them.

SPEAKER_05

They've it there, it's been vetoed. You almost go watch Cannibal the musical. Uh right now. Go watch it right now. And uh also while you're doing stuff on your phone or computer, give us like nine stars out of five for this podcast. Because we work really hard on it, guys. We did research for this one. Um we woke up early to do it before we all had to do stuff.

SPEAKER_04

We watched movies so that you can also so that you can too.

SPEAKER_05

We've sp we spoil movies for you so that you don't have to.

SPEAKER_03

You can stand on our shoulders to watch this movie.

SPEAKER_05

Let us swaddle you in comfort. Uh what else? Vito the podcast at gmail.com. If you want to send us more dumb movies to watch, or if you need advice, or you got ideas for segments, um, subscribe to the show, like the show, love the show, get some more of the show. We love you, and we'll see you next week. Bye bye. Bye.

SPEAKER_01

You've got a friend in me. If I'm the kind of friend you need, then it's true. I hope I have a friend in you. I'm feeling okay. I'm pretty good. Alright. When your face is clearly in my sight, I hope it's true. I hope I have a friend in you. We can walk hand in head the moon up above We can skip and do a dance to prove our totally platonic You've got a friend in me. At least that's what you should believe. And if it's true, I hope I have a friend in you. I hope I have a friend in you. I hope I have a friend in you.