Veto The Podcast
A podcast where 3 friends in Austin surprise each other and the audience with stupid segments and answer important questions about the universe. Also, everyone gets 2 veto cards.
Veto The Podcast
Veto The Podcast Episode 21 - Taxes In Space
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The fellas just rolled back into town and they almost all forgot to do their taxes! Although they found a loophole that you are released from all tax liability if you're IN SPACE.
Willy Nelson doesn't pay taxes, so why would we?
It's another episode of Veto The Podcast and, if anything, it's going to TAX your patience!
The podcast you are about to listen to was made by idiots and will probably make you dumber. Pregnant or nursing women and those with weakened immune systems should turn away immediately. All others, proceed at your own risk and prepare to veto the podcast.
SPEAKER_02You've got a friend, you've got a friend in me. If I'm looking a friend you need true. I hope I have a friend in you. I'm feeling okay. I'm pretty good. And I hope I have a friend in you, to it a friend and you do a week a while.
SPEAKER_05Hello, everybody, and welcome to Vito the Podcast, the podcast where we do your taxes so you don't have to. I am the chief tax preparation officer and America's favorite uncle, George Milton, and I'm joined today, as always, by my co-host, uh the guy who's actually been doing my personal taxes for the last seven years, Mr. Brent Bobbitt.
SPEAKER_04Hi. Um I'm very adept at fudging things only insofar as it stays in the green numbers uh for low audit risk.
SPEAKER_05Hi, everybody. Yeah. Thanks, Brent. Also, I've been meaning to ask you about my there, there's some the cops are calling me for some stuff, and yeah, I don't take any responsibility for anything beyond the uh filing. Well, that's what your release form says, so I can't. Uh we're also joined this week by our incredibly special guest today. Uh a guy who sent me all of his tax documents. I don't know why, and I don't know how he got my address. It's Mr. Johnny King. What's up, Johnny?
SPEAKER_07What's up, y'all? How's it going? Happy tax day week.
SPEAKER_05Tax day week. I know we I sometimes we tell people when we're recording this, this will I don't know when this comes out, but like it is the Sunday before taxes are due. Now let me ask you guys have you done your taxes yet?
SPEAKER_04I just finished yesterday. Okay, wow.
SPEAKER_07I completely forgot about it.
SPEAKER_04I'm pretty convinced this is this your remote.
SPEAKER_07I know you just brought it up. And so now I'm uh I didn't know.
SPEAKER_04Johnny's a man of means. He forgot about it because he doesn't need to worry about it, George. That's right.
SPEAKER_05Yeah. So Brent, Brent's the only one who's I haven't I haven't done my taxes yet. I don't have I don't have really complicated like tax situation or anything. I've got no good excuse for working on my taxes like two days before it's due. I am gonna get it done before the 15th. And now I think Johnny's gonna get it done before the 15th.
SPEAKER_07Now that's all I'm thinking about is what I'm gonna be doing for the next couple of days.
SPEAKER_05So that probably means that you're gonna have really good jokes because you're thinking about taxes, right?
SPEAKER_07Oh yeah.
SPEAKER_04That's the Everybody knows that taxes humor is kind of like one of the top tiers of areas to pull humor from. Yeah. We all love jokes about taxes.
SPEAKER_07Yeah, like if you go to an accountant party, like it's a riot.
SPEAKER_05It is a riot. Uh actually accountants like to drink. I'll tell you that. No, accountants don't like to drink. Accountants have to drink. Yeah.
SPEAKER_04Yeah. Way more so than actuaries. I find those people in large groups to be rather boring. We've done, I feel like we've done a couple of like private parties for actuary.
SPEAKER_05We've got to be a good thing.
SPEAKER_04No, that seems like a random thing that I'm saying, but I actually have uh a plurality of sample groups of actuaries that I've performed for. And yeah, I gotta say, they are uh not the most excitable people that you've ever encountered in it.
SPEAKER_05Let's do uh hold on. First off, let me hand out these veto cards. I took them out, please. I took them out of the uh shrink wrap that I had them in for the bunker, because we've all returned to the world now.
SPEAKER_04I think we've Yeah, but I keep taking mine out and they're new shrink wrap every time. Do you did you get like a food saver for this? Or uh what's your method? I did. Yeah, it's a food saver.
SPEAKER_05It's actually it's actually my mom's old food saver from like 1987. So incredible. Just just whipped it out and finally, finally getting some use. Finally getting some use. So we've all got two veto cards. You can veto literally anything you want. Um I don't want to veto tax jokes because there's some good ones that we're gonna do, I'm sure. But like what is your this is not a segment I prepared, but like talking about actuaries. I know that I've played for actuaries at least three times that I can think of. Like a group of actuaries, and I agree with you. It's not it's not typically been like a riot. What about like top groups, top groups to like play for when you know there's a group of X coming in, you know it's gonna be a good time. I'll go first, teachers.
SPEAKER_04Okay, all right.
SPEAKER_07I'll go soon.
SPEAKER_04Uh the one right off the top of the dome for me was gonna be real estate agents.
SPEAKER_07Real estate agents, yes.
SPEAKER_04Oh, yeah because they uh I find them they like to in particular when there's some sort of a convention of real estate agents that brings competing factions together, yeah, because then all of them start to like to talk shit along with their request, they'll send something up there, and then somebody else wants to. So it it's a very good financial situation for people on stage when you are being used as the paid messaging board uh from warring factions. It's it's a good thing.
SPEAKER_05What about you, Johnny?
SPEAKER_07You had one so for me, teachers is the right answer, but hairdressers is a close second. Hairdressers, hairdressers, uh as far as being fun. But if you're looking at the um uh one of my favorite, and this is I don't even know what it actually was, but I remember in Austin, uh there was like a volleyball, I think it was like a sand volleyball uh tournament or something that came in, and they had like you were talking about Brent, the warring factions, and they were just throwing down so much money and just trashing the other teams. We didn't know anything about any of these people, but they were like, oh, we're the you know, we're the the spikers from OC and you know those guys from whatever Florida suck and the clamor. I love it. The one from Florida? So then the clam eagles.
SPEAKER_04I feel like if we have oh, sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt there. The clam eagles from Florida have that request of like who's the best type of group to pay for. We have to answer the inverse of that. Do you have one off the top of your head that's just like when do you think of a category of people that you'd rather not? Uh who who you got?
SPEAKER_07I'll go first. Either a school go for it, school superintendents, and principals are the the worst, especially the superintendents are the worst.
SPEAKER_04And what's your reasoning behind that? Like, what's why are they the worst?
SPEAKER_07They won't they won't do anything fun because they're terrified they're gonna be caught on tape. That you know, people want to record something that they're gonna do something silly or get caught singing out loud or drinking in public. I don't even know. But when you're trying to get a crowd of school superintendents to just administrators, yeah. But uh teachers don't care about it.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, right. Yeah, there's nothing. I mean, I think that there's having cut loose time.
SPEAKER_05I think there's two categories, right? Like one one of the categories is people who are worried about the put the PR implications of everything that they do, which may may be like administrators or something. And then the other group is like people who are just very naturally like uh I don't know, uh actuaries seem to be like very naturally like introverted and analytical people. So the opposite of the the opposite of like the uh personality type that becomes a real estate agent.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, it's like basically there you're people that aren't necessarily having fun, but for two very different reasons. Yeah, yeah. But if I was gonna answer my category of people that I just universally already know going into it that I'm probably not gonna have a good time, uh and this is gonna like make me very old man right now, but like college kids informalware. Oh fuck that.
SPEAKER_05College kids informalware.
SPEAKER_04They're just they're so entitled and high on their own supply. Like, you know, and just regular high on on also drugs, but like they are the ones that will offer you the least and demand the most, and then are the squeakiest wheels when they're not getting it. And they seemingly, and this is I'm specifically talking about like sort of the post-COVID uh years that have been here, like ever since like things kind of reopened, and then the groups that have come back to college after that time, there's a noticeable difference from before then and after then to the amount of like not being able to take no for an answer that they do. They'll be like, hey, yeah, I want my boy Brad to play, let's come up and sing with you guys, or he's a sweet drummer, and we're like, nah, we don't really, you know, do that. We're not an open stage, like, oh Jim, tell him how badass of a drummer Brad is. Like, be that as it may, man. That's just not what really we're trying to do. Oh, come on, man, he's really good. It's like, and they just are incessant and they will not take no for an answer.
SPEAKER_05So I have a counterpoint to that that I have actually like if you if you put aside the fact for a moment that like they don't know how to like they don't know how to regulate their drinking at all, like people who are 22 don't know how to like they'll have like two drinks and just be out of their mind. And and they don't, you know, they don't tip either because they don't have any money or because they haven't like had enough worldly experience. If you take those things away, like I've actually had some fun experiences playing for college kids, like certain types of college kids who don't want Brad to come play the drums, and who are like who are like, hey, I know we don't have any money, but like all we want to hear is like Tom Petty B sides, and you're like, that's not what you want to hear, and then you start playing those songs, and they know all the words to them, and you're like, What is happening?
SPEAKER_04Yeah, I have had those experiences. I guess I'm more speaking to when you're having a regular night in the club, and suddenly out of nowhere, a large amount of formally dressed college kids start showing up. Yeah, that's right. They just they never behave. But I have had events where like they were the you know, the main type of people there, and it followed exactly the pattern you're talking about, and I've had a great time. But when I it's not very usual that in the club I'm gonna enjoy when they show up in the tuxedos.
SPEAKER_06Yeah.
SPEAKER_05I can I can I drastically change topics? Not unless you veto this one. Shit. I don't want to veto it.
SPEAKER_04Because I've got more to say. You know what?
SPEAKER_07I'm gonna use one of my veto cards for you, George. I want to veto this topic. I want to move on to the the this this next thing because it's my curiosity is killing me right now.
SPEAKER_04I had so much more interesting things to say about that topic. I could have gone on for hours.
SPEAKER_05Johnny King, I'm flabbergasted, man. Thank you. That's so sweet. That's such a sweet thing you did for me.
SPEAKER_04That's a very that's a pretty Spitwinkle thing you did.
SPEAKER_07Yes. Nice.
SPEAKER_05I was just gonna say, I was just I was just remembering this. I don't have like a whole bit around this, but and I know it's gonna sound like a bit that I prepared, but it isn't. Um me and Aaron sometimes like to come up with like brand names or like domain names for like, oh, what do you think would be a good brand name for whatever? I don't remember what we were talking about, like supplement companies, I think, because supplement companies always have weird names. You know, it's either like really on the nose, like protein max or something, or it's like bloom nutrition, and you're like, you gotta go all the way around the barn to make it make sense. And we were like, what would you call like what would be a defensible brand name for like a supplement company? And Erin came up with this one COVID. She was like, Could you name a company COVID? And I was like, Holy shit, could you name a company COVID? Could you be like COVID LLC? I don't see any reason why you couldn't. So I looked up COVID.com. Guys, it's taken by a business whose name is COVID.
SPEAKER_04It'd be pretty cool if their specialty was they did like company videos that yeah, right? They do for COVID.
SPEAKER_05It's uh it's like it's uh it's like um IT setup, it's like networking setup. So I think it's like coax and video, whatever, COVID. But it looks like it's been around for a while.
SPEAKER_07That's too bad for them.
SPEAKER_04They backed in. We'll make your network go viral. Oh, good. Oh that's good. Maybe that's a technical.
SPEAKER_05They weren't there was nothing clever on the website though.
SPEAKER_04Like there was nothing, there was nothing to imply to suggest that anybody was having any fun with isn't that funny though, whenever you have a company name that people should obviously be having fun with, and then you can tell that they are not in on their own joke. Um, in Umble, Texas, I don't know if it's still there, but like in certainly the early 2010s, uh so around 2011, uh, was the last time I remember eating there, but it was by where my mom used to live, and it was a pho restaurant, Vietnamese pho, that was called Pho King. Yeah. And these people were very clearly not, it wasn't like they didn't make the joke to be funny, like it because if they would have actually done it to be funny, they could have had a really good time with that, you know. But uh no, they were very uh first generation, I'm gonna assume, and didn't, you know, like I mean, communication barriers were fairly strong, so I don't even know if they understood that there was a you know a pun that existed there.
SPEAKER_07Yeah it amazes me. If I ever saw that, I would assume that that their whole marketing would be based around puns on that. Yeah. Well huh.
SPEAKER_05It's an entity that does their taxes on time. Speaking of doing stuff on time, guys, you want to do some segments. None of this, none of this counts. None of this first part counts, guys.
SPEAKER_04Except for the part where Johnny spent a veto card that is very much. Johnny did spend a veto card.
SPEAKER_05I'm in debt to Johnny King. Yeah. Um he did it for me to tell a really stupid story. But just know that King's. I'm regretting it a little bit. A little bit is a it's taken. I just I want Johnny to run out of veto cards so he can't veto his own past opinions this time. Oh that's all I want. Uh what do you say we go to the dice of destiny, you guys? I got it right in front of me. Look at that. All right. Look at it. Oh. I buffed it out. So it's extra trans. Translucent? That's translucent. Yeah. All right. Um, Johnny, since you're our guest this week, what number, what two numbers do you want? Uh, with like five and six. Five and six? Brent, since you're Johnny's guest, what two numbers do you want?
SPEAKER_04Oh, well, if he's doing five and six, I'll do two and four. God damn it, Brent.
SPEAKER_07You know, I thought about doing something like that, and I was like, no, I don't want to be an asshole.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, that's Brent's role. Leave it up to me. When you look at the castle says it says asshole. Played by Brent. Okay, I'll be three and five. Or three. Wait, shit.
SPEAKER_07Ah, gotcha.
SPEAKER_05Gotcha, baby. Well, you're one and three. I'm two and four. Gotcha, bitch. 95 and something. One and three. All right. That's one. It's me. That's a George one. That's a George one. All right, guys. Um, I'm gonna keep it in tax vein. Uh, and I'm gonna call this segment WikiWiki, what do you know? Tax edition.
SPEAKER_04Um it's in the great name. It's if you could in post put like a sound bite along with that uh after you you say it, that'd be I think a really good punch in.
SPEAKER_05I'm gonna give you a little behind the curtain print. I've stopped doing post. This goes straight to print. So just though if you ask me to edit something up, yeah, it'll tell you. Which is not gonna happen. Yeah, we're gonna edit out this part. No, we're not. We should get we should get some guys. Okay. Whole team. Okay, we'll see. We'll do a couple of these, and if it sucks, I'll veto it myself. Uh, but it's gonna be I'm gonna read uh three tax facts. Ooh, tax facts is a good segment name, too. This is called tax facts. This segment is called Tax Facts Facts. Um we'll edit out the other part. Uh so two of these are gonna be true, and one of these is gonna be a fake uh fact about taxes. So you guys have to guess uh which one is the fake one. All right. Round one, historical. This is our historical round.
SPEAKER_04Is it wait, is this uh is it gonna be considered cheating that I know I know everything about the tax code of the U.S. government uh for the city?
SPEAKER_05No, man, no, you just gotta come in and use the advantages that you're born with. All right. Okay. Uh A. Texas charges sales tax on deodorant, but not on antiperspirant. Antiperspirant is classified as a drug by the FDA, so it's tax exempt. Deodorant is considered a cosmetic product and fully taxable. B, in several states, a pumpkin is only tax-free if you plan to eat it. In New Jersey, Iowa, and Pennsylvania, pumpkins sold as food are exempt from sales tax. If the pumpkin is carved, painted, or sold as a decoration, it's fully taxable. C. Texas exempts cowboy boots from sales tax, but charges full tax on sneakers. So which one of these is fake? Which one of those is fake? Yeah. Fake one.
SPEAKER_04Um well I'm a little thrown off because everybody knows that anti-perspirant is just the way to say deodorant if you're a douchebag. So uh I don't know. I might go A. Okay.
SPEAKER_07Alright. I'm gonna go A. I'm gonna say B. Like, how are you gonna if I bought a pumpkin for decoration, I will just tell them I'm gonna eat it.
SPEAKER_04See, the reason I think that one is true though, is because I think I mean you're right. I you'd you'd basically have to like know somebody's intent, but I feel like the way the store probably sets it up is they probably have some in like a grocery section, and then there's some that are like set out by where all the Halloween decorations are, and they're probably just coded differently. But um that's the only reason why. It does look like we found the one part of the tax code that you're not as familiar with as I thought I was.
SPEAKER_07You found a displaying spot.
SPEAKER_05So what's your uh what's your what's your final answer, Johnny?
SPEAKER_07I'm walking in B.
SPEAKER_05Okay. Uh man, both of you guys got zero points in the first one.
SPEAKER_04Then oh, can do should we pick a follow-up then if we both missed? We should get a follow-up. Not that we get a point for it, just for redemption purposes. A follow-up?
SPEAKER_05Wait, there's a I mean a f a second choice. A second well, I've already told you what the C. Oh, wasn't there four of them? That was three. Yeah, the boots one wants to fake. So C was Texas exempts cowboy boots from sales tax, but charges full sack tax on sneakers. That is fake. Uh they do have some.
SPEAKER_07Yeah.
SPEAKER_05But uh pumpkin is uh only tax-free in several states uh if you plan to eat it. So if it gets sold and merchandise as food, uh I think Brent, you mentioned this, but like if the way that it's merchandised and sold is important. Um deodorant and antiperspirant, Texas classifies them as different things. That's crazy. Yeah.
SPEAKER_04I mean, I know those are actually different things, but I just I don't think I've ever seen someone be like, you know, hey, I need to go pick up some antiperspirant. They're usually sort of bundled as a well as a single product that you know is some sort of a blend, I guess. I don't really know the science behind it.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, I don't, I don't either, ma'am. But uh okay, zero zero. Uh I we'll move on to round two. So I read it wrong. That was that was uh that one was Texas, that was the Texas round. This is the historical round. Okay, A. The Soviet Union taxed people for not having children. B Benjamin Franklin.
SPEAKER_04Wait, wait, wait, hang on, wait. We're getting a new set. Sorry, this is a new set of fake one. This is a new set. Okay, all right.
SPEAKER_05Okay, A. The Soviet Union taxed people for not having children. B Benjamin Franklin proposed a beard and wig tax in n in uh 1787 to fund the new Congress. C. In 1944, the highest US tax income tax rate was ninety four percent. What was C again? C C was Is that in nineteen forty-four the highest US income tax rate was ninety-four percent. So implying that there was a bracket at which you could be charged ninety-four percent of your income as taxable.
SPEAKER_04I'm going C I'm gonna Well, you can pick first, Johnny. I know you're picking C? C. As the fake one? I'm gonna I'm gonna go B as the fake one just because I mean I I've if that's a bracket of taxes you're talking about, that doesn't mean that every dollar somebody's earnings taxes that amount. It's just saying they're basically just kind of setting a ceiling saying you're not gonna earn really more than this in any meaningful way, which seems like something an early country might do. Also, the Russia thing, if you're trying to expand your population, that seems like a real thing. The Benjamin Franklin thing, I don't know, it's smack's true to me, but it's it just seems like the other two feel more true. So I'm gonna go I'm gonna go B. All right. Ben Franklin.
SPEAKER_05Guys, we've got a winner. We've got a point taker for this one. Uh-oh. So the Soviet Union did tax people for not having children from 1941 to 1992. Childless men aged 25 through 50 and childless women aged 20 through 45 paid a 6% tax on their income. So you've had to pay an extra 6% for not having kids. Uh, Benjamin Franklin, this is B. Benjamin Franklin proposing a beard and wig tax in 1787. Uh, he did not do that. That's fake. That is false. Brent's gonna take the points. C was 1944. 1944, there was a uh bracket that was charged at 94%, and you're right, Brent. It was a it was basically an income ceiling, and it was to incomes over$200,000, which in 1944 is about three and a half million dollars adjusting for inflation. So anybody who made over that got charged a 94% tax, which sucks. All right, dang one one zero, one zero, one zero. Moving on to round three. Okay. Round three is celebrity taxes. A Apollo 13 astronaut Jack Swigert realized he forgot to file his taxes while orbiting the moon. B Elvis Presley voluntarily paid double his tax rate in 1973 as a patriotic donation to the IRS after his Aloha Aloha from Hawaii concert. C. Willie Nelson released an album called The IRS Tapes. Who will buy my memories to pay off his tax debt?
SPEAKER_04Oh man. Um I think I've forgotten A with the uh that was the forgetting it.
SPEAKER_05A is uh A is Apollo Apollo 13 astronaut Jack Swiggart realized he forgot to file his taxes while orbiting the moon. So he had the experience that Johnny just had when we brought up taxes, but he's orbiting the moon.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, so like I don't know all the astronauts' names, so you could even just be making one up for all I know. Yeah. I mean, because that last name sounds almost like a racial slur against two, I'm not sure, but Swiggart. Uh uh, so I don't know. It seems like maybe that could be true, but he'd probably obviously get some uh some some leniency if that was going on. Um Elvis paying double, like I could see it as almost like kind of a publicity stunt more than anything. But uh the Willie Nelson one, man, I feel like I I remember hearing about that or something. I don't know. I but I guess I'm gonna go with oh I guess I'm gonna go with A.
SPEAKER_05Okay. I'm gonna go Brent Slacken in uh the astronaut.
SPEAKER_07I'm gonna go with C because I I feel like it's touching like you'd remember that most too. You know, Willie Nelson famously got in trouble for not doing his taxes. But I don't remember him leaning into that as much. And so I'm gonna go with C. I think it was a curveball.
SPEAKER_05Alright, let's go through let's go through these. A Apollo 13 astronaut Jack Swiggart realized he forgot to file his taxes while orbiting the moon. Is true. Swiggert was a last-minute replacement on the mission in the rush. He forgot about tax day. He radioed mission control to ask about filing an extension. The ground crew thought he was joking. He was not.
SPEAKER_07So relate. That's the most relatable I've ever been with an astronaut. Relatable.
SPEAKER_04Was an astronaut as I've ever built too, an astronaut. Uh uh, it just sounds like something a total swigart would do if you ask me. Hey, you can't put a hard T on that, man.
SPEAKER_05Whoa. Whoa. Uh Johnny picked Johnny picked C. Willie Nelson released an album called The IRS Tapes. Who'll buy my memories to pay off his tax debt. This is true. In 1990, the IRS seized most of Willie Nelson's assets over a$32 million tax bill. In 1992, he released this album titled The IRS Tapes. Who'll buy my memories? With proceeds going directly to the IRS. Um, the strategy work, and he settled his debt. So the fake one.
SPEAKER_07I didn't think I could love Willie Nelson any more than I already do.
SPEAKER_05I didn't think it just went up a little bit. Uh the fake one was Elvis doubling his uh tax rate in 1973 as a patriotic donation. He did have a lot of tax issues, but he never voluntarily doubled his rate. All right, going into round four, one-zero Brent. Not a high-scoring game. No, we are not very good at this game collectively, especially you being a tax expert.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_05Well, yeah, we're not getting into the code.
SPEAKER_07It's more the social uh Okay.
SPEAKER_05All right, round four is weird state laws. Uh and I've got one from my home state here uh to lead us off. Uh A. Alabama is the only state that charges a 10 cent tax on every deck of playing cards. B Alaska allows whaling captains to deduct up to$10,000 in whaling expenses on their federal tax return. C. Montana charges a wilderness access tax of$25 a year on any resident who lives within five miles of a national forest.
SPEAKER_07Oh, I think I've got mine. Well, then this is your turn to answer first, I believe. I'm gonna go I'm gonna go with C. I feel like national. Oh, wait, it's the state that's messing it up. Alright, I'm still I'm still I'm going with C.
SPEAKER_05Okay. C is wilderness access tax in Montana.
SPEAKER_07Yes.
SPEAKER_04Man, I'm I'm gonna pick B hoping it's B, because like, you know, like what good excuses do we have for whaling in this modern era, really? Especially for them to be giving such big deductions. I mean, there's whole shows about people trying to stop whaling illegally in certain parts of the world. So like I'm gonna pick B and I'm just hoping you know what I'd think about.
SPEAKER_07I'm gonna give you I'm gonna Yeah. Oh, go ahead.
SPEAKER_05Oh, I was gonna say we do have we do have somebody who's going away from this one with a point. So I will say that uh that A uh Alabama is the only state that charges a 10 cent tax on every deck of playing cards is true. The tax generates revenue for highways and playgrounds. Um I figured that was true because Alabama's kind of stupid. Alabama's got a lot of weird laws still. Everyone from there is kind of stupid. Yeah. Everyone, hey, wait a second. Wait a sec. Hold on just a just a cut and picking minute. Uh okay. All right. Uh B Alaska allows whaling captains to deduct up to$10,000 in whaling expenses on their federal tax return. This is brrrrr. True, it's true. It applies, it applies specifically to captains of the Alaska Eskimo Whaling Commission and is classified as a charitable deduction tied to subsistence whaling traditions. Uh so Johnny's gonna take a uh a point saying what's the best way to save the whales? Yeah. Uh$10,000 whaling deduction. So it is fake. Uh the wilderness access tax in Montana is fake. Uh it sounds kind of real because Montana has a lot of uh public land access taxes and debates, but no access. So we're coming into this is a perfect way to come into round five. We're gonna end with round five as our tiebreaker. Our score is one-one. What if neither of us score again? Because we know that is a real possibility. We'll come up with something. I'm just gonna guess that one of you guys will score. Uh round five is global taxes, global tax insanity. Uh A. Japan imposes a silence tax on noise-cancelling headphone manufacturers, arguing their products reduce public awareness and safety. B. Bribes were tax deductible in Germany until 2002. C. That sounds probably true. God damn it. Keep going. C. Ireland exempts artists from income tax on up to 50,000 euros in earnings from qualifying creative works. Oh.
SPEAKER_04Wow. Huh. Hmm. I don't even remember whose turn it is to go first this time. I think it's I think it's yours, but I'll let you guys do whatever you want.
SPEAKER_07I'm happy to go first or second.
SPEAKER_05I mean Okay, so we have the So A is uh A is Japan imposes a silence tax on noise-cancelling headphone manufacturers.
SPEAKER_04That was the one I was forgetting.
SPEAKER_05B is bribes were tax deductible in Germany until 2002, and C is Ireland exempts artists from income tax on up to 50,000 euro in earnings from qualifying creative works.
SPEAKER_07All right, I'm going.
SPEAKER_04Well, I get I I think I'm gonna go B. Okay.
SPEAKER_07All right.
SPEAKER_04You're gonna say bribes, bribes or like I mean the A, I could almost see it being realistic just because, you know, I like I haven't bit visited myself, but from what I understand, that the public people aren't as chit-chatty in public in Japan. And so like I could see that people them saying maybe like, hey, more than anything, you don't need it to be that quiet. You're not paying attention out here, this is causing a problem. I could see that, but you know, I don't know, bribes, like good God. I I'm hoping. Keep going. That's okay.
SPEAKER_05You're saying brib bribes is fake. Bribes being tax deductible is fake.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, it's probably real though, but that's the one I'm picking.
SPEAKER_07I want to uh Johnny. I want C to be true. And I want to have a winner for the game. So I want to pick A. But I also feel like that's the right one. That feels fake.
SPEAKER_05You're trying to pick the fake one.
SPEAKER_07Yes. So you're saying A is the fake one. Okay. The A is the fake one.
SPEAKER_05Alright. Well, I will say C Ireland exempts artists from income tax up to 50,000 euro in earnings from qualifying creative works. This is true. So we do have we do have a winner. We are gonna come away with a winner. So A is Japan imposes a silence tax on noise canceling headphone manufacturers arguing their products reduce public awareness and safety. Or B bribes were tax deductible in Germany until 2002. The true one of these two things, and the loser in this game is gonna be why you gotta announce it that way. The loser. Who's the loser? I like the loss.
SPEAKER_03Who's the loser?
SPEAKER_05I like that. Uh B is true, Brent. Bribes were tax deductible in Germany until 2002. German businesses could write off bribe payments as a business expense on their taxes. The practice was legal and documented. What are they stupid? How would you do that? I don't know. They're they're German. Uh fake. It is fake that Japan. It's fake that Japan imposes a silence tax. Uh, they have a lot of weird consumer taxes in Japan, but this is not one of them. Johnny King, for the first time, for the first time in his veto the podcast career, is gonna take home the trophy for the tax game. The special guest winner. A special guest winner. And John sleep with one eye open, motherfucker. John, Johnny, Johnny, you can actually take your trophy for this game down to your nearest HR blog to get some help with your taxes that you haven't filed yet.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_04Nice. Do you think they're gonna count that gold as taxable income, though? I mean, this trophy's got to be worth at least like$500,000.
SPEAKER_05The trophy's actually made out of plastic. It lowers the owning this trophy. Owning this trophy lowers your net worth, actually. Okay.
SPEAKER_07Nice.
SPEAKER_05Uh speaking of lowering your net worth, guys, we've got to take a quick break. We're gonna go take a break. Me and Johnny are gonna do our taxes, and we'll be right back. Stick with us! Yeah, come on. And we're back. I was joking about doing our taxes on the break. That was a that was one of those jokes I do, but Johnny, I came back and Johnny was doing his taxes on the heart.
SPEAKER_07Yeah, you gotta get on it.
SPEAKER_04I I heard you flip. Johnny, are you gonna be doing it on the mobile or are you pulling up the whole computer to do this?
SPEAKER_07I'll be doing the whole computer. It takes the whole computer to do my taxes.
SPEAKER_05It takes the whole computer to do these taxes. Um veto. I'm gonna veto you using your whole computer to do your taxes.
SPEAKER_04Ooh.
SPEAKER_07Restricted to the phone. Yeah, you gotta do them on your phone. I know you used to do it. Go old school, do paper and pen.
SPEAKER_05Well, whatever you do, you just can't use your whole computer. Alright. You either have to use parts of your computer or none of your computer. But not the whole thing. You don't need your graphics card to do the taxes. You don't your sound card isn't gonna come. Ticket sound card is gonna say that. You do need your graphics card, probably. But like you don't need every one of your RAMs to anyway. Let's go back to the dice of destiny. Don't need all your RAMs, man. What you working with? 256? There's no way you need two and 156 to do all your to do your taxes.
SPEAKER_07I'd do my taxes in 8-bit.
SPEAKER_058-bit taxes. Uh let's go back to the dice of destiny. Brent's gonna be Brent is gonna be 1, 3, 1, 2, and 6. Uh, 1, 2, and 6. And Johnny's gonna be 3, 4, and 5. Here we go. Uh that's a six. Boom.
SPEAKER_04Brent. Sure did this right.
SPEAKER_07All right.
SPEAKER_04Um, so hey, uh, I was uh having this idea that because we are kind of in that spring break uh window right now, a little past that for most schools, but you know, it's been what's kind of on a lot of people's thoughts. And uh considering that all of us, maybe not, you know, currently, Johnny, uh, but uh have lived for a significant amount of time in Austin. So kind of coming into the warmer months, uh, was gonna ask, we we haven't done a Mount Rushmore of in a little bit. And uh this is more of a selfishly motivated one because I kind of wanted to get some ideas for myself, but I want to do the Mount Rushmore of Central Texas day trips. Like, what are the places in your mind that you just that like something that you can shoot out to? And we'll we'll even say maybe something that you'd spend like a night at, but you know, a place that's close enough by that you're not planning like a whole trip around it, but maybe you want to get out from you know the hustle and bustle the city for a little bit and just get away with the wife, you know, what's uh like what what what are we we gotta come up with like basically the top four places places to like spend the day, spend the evening. Yeah, day trips from day trips from central Texas. Oh great, this is easy. Palacio.
SPEAKER_05Palacio. Just you know, pull up a chair, spend the day, get a burger, take your feedback, relax.
SPEAKER_07Good company.
SPEAKER_05Uh I don't know. I don't know if I've got any great jokes about this. I think a Hamilton pool is a good day trip.
SPEAKER_04Have you guys been to Hamilton Pool? Yeah, uh when pretty good.
SPEAKER_05When was the last time you you went, George? Well, I've only been once. I went for uh a friend's like 42nd birthday. Um like, I don't know, last last summer, like not a long time ago.
SPEAKER_04Gotcha. Well, because it's been a little less exciting in more recent years. I mean, that's you know, Austin has have many places, you know, been seeing our fair share of kind of drought conditions and a lot of things that rely on some of those streams of rain aren't as you know beautiful as they have been like Lake Travis being you know kind of low and all that stuff. But uh I I haven't been for maybe like two, three no, it's probably been like three years because it was still sort of it was like at the very tail end of like things were still a little covety, like there were still some masks going on, but it was getting a little more laxed on things. And I went there with my wife and uh Madeline Stone and Madeline Stone. Shout out Madeline Stone and uh one of one of our core Patreon supporters. Yeah, we we had to stay within like the little buoys for like the swimming area versus the times that I'd gone previously. Yeah, you could go you could just go wherever, but now they have you just kind of cording up a small area. Yeah. No, it it it took some of the magic away from it because I always appreciated that they sort of capped the limit of how you know many people could be there at a given time with the reservation system and all that. It kept it from being overrun and and all that. But it's like if you're already throttling that, then you know, maybe let us explore a little more. I don't don't restrict me so much.
SPEAKER_05One of my favorite things to do to spend the day, one of my favorite ways to spend the day outside in Austin used to be uh getting an invite to go on Johnny King's boat back in the day.
SPEAKER_07I was just thinking when you started that, I thought, oh, it's like, come on, George, please bring up the boat. That was so much fun. Yeah, we'd go like wait board and you had a boat? Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_05We had a boat. We'd be it would I think y'all put in at the 360 bridge, right? Or somewhere somewhere.
SPEAKER_07We used to live in Jester, so we could be from our, you know, I from our house, I could be in the water within 10 minutes. Man, we had so much fun on that little boat. It was good.
SPEAKER_06Yeah.
SPEAKER_07I miss it. I miss that.
SPEAKER_04See, I really miss um whenever I moved out here, and really up until about only three summers ago, uh, the like boat club that I'm a part of had one boat uh that was parked here at like the marina with the hula hut downtown. And so I could take my little electric unicycle and I could in about 10 minutes wheel over there with just that thing, get over there, load it up in the boat, throw it, and then I could go boating around here. I think he's did until one jackass, one jackass that was a member of this club started bringing the boat back, and I guess didn't control their throttle well as they had been drinking, and knocked the the tail section, like where you'd put it on like uh your your wakeboard or whatever, the little platform on the back of a speed boat. He knocked someone's off that was like parked at the dock, like ran over it and broke the whole thing off, and then just parked the boat and didn't tell anybody, thinking he'd get away with it. But of course they have cameras there. Of course they do. So he got caught. The uh boat club lost their slip there, and now that self-service location is no longer. So if I want to do my boating, I've gotta drive 45 minutes out to Lake Travis.
SPEAKER_05This is probably the most relatable segment that we've ever had. Like that is what a first world problem. That is that is now I can no longer ride my electric unicycle to the boat club for some uncouth jackass tied up at the slip, having knocked over several.
SPEAKER_07And Brent thinks I'm the one that sounds like I'm rich.
SPEAKER_05Now let's hear what bougie Johnny King has to say about this.
SPEAKER_07We got Brent with the monopoly man with his monocle and top hat over here.
SPEAKER_04We but we digress. I'm gonna set my monocle down. I'm gonna veto talking about me being a monopoly guy. All right, I'm spinning a veto card. Shut up.
SPEAKER_08Other than we we only
SPEAKER_04have one one head on our on our Mount Rushmore of day trips right now which is Hamilton Pool. I feel like maybe another location that would be fairly widely agreed upon by people of Austin would probably be Fredericksburg. That seems to be a pretty popular like cut off and go have wine for the day. Like once you get once you get decently old anyway, like I don't feel like you're going you're not going out there in your 20s for any real reason.
SPEAKER_05I would I went to Fredericksburg not too long ago and did the wine thing again for like a friend's birthday. I feel like I get the best the best like Austin experiences when somebody in their late 30s or 40s is like hey we're having a birthday and we're doing XYZ for my birthday that's like when we go do all of these things because I don't know you you end up with friends who are like don't want to just like they've got careers and stuff so they can do something that's not just go to Barton Springs, although Barton Springs is great. But we went to Fredericksburg and like I the but the only th the only thing that I will say against that is that like drinking wine like I just have never not liked day drinking.
SPEAKER_04I and I maybe an unpopular opinion but like no I'm I'm with you drinking even when I was like 20s I just wasn't very good at the day drinking thing.
SPEAKER_07No I've never kind of drink drinking is day drinking.
SPEAKER_04Never once that's I'm not a good marathon drinker and if I start off day drinking I'm gonna hit my burnout point and then I'm probably gonna end up taking a nap at like 6 or 7 p.m and then I wake up at like 30 with a hangover. You know I'm like it's like it's like not even late at night. It's just kind of early night and I've got a hangover like and I hate that.
SPEAKER_07Well Brent if you're if you're drinking while you're doing a marathon you're doing it wrong.
SPEAKER_04You're doing it you're doing it wrong I don't know that might be the only way that I could get the information Fredericksburg is fun.
SPEAKER_07Fredericksburg is fun I I love Fredericks Fredericksburg we used to go does it earn its place on the on the mount for me it's Fredericksburg can go on can go on the Mount Rushmore. Yeah it's like we got two hips out of four then I like that one.
SPEAKER_05What about what about like um so wait what do we have we've got Fredericksburg and what else Fredericksburg and Hamilton pool are the two that we got so far.
SPEAKER_04So Hamilton pool is Mount Rushmore.
SPEAKER_05Alright so you could I mean there are locations you could spend Johnny stop doing your taxes while we're while we're reporting got me there there's like locations like I was like Fredericksburg is kind of a a broader than just like Hamilton pool which is just single location but I feel like uh I feel like you could spend the maybe not the whole day but like you go out to Salt Lake or something and spend like a decent amount of time. Like what about locations like that where it's like I don't know.
SPEAKER_04Well I think the reason that that one might not fit is because you know with Hamilton pool well I mean and and maybe those are actually now that I'm thinking about it fairly comparable amounts of time you'd spend at either of those locations right yeah right I mean like so I guess that does kind of I guess that would technically count but uh I don't know may I I think if I had to broadly put it in a bucket I'd still put Salt Lake in the bucket of a restaurant more than like destination. Yeah you're right. But I I understand the what you mean like it's it's a that's a not a terrible answer for it. I don't know if I can vote it in for Rushmore status though.
SPEAKER_05What about uh what about the what about like the F1 track? What I like just in general there's a bunch of stuff that every time I've gone over to Circuit of the Americas it's been for like a full day for like a they've got events and half of that day has been the traffic getting back to downtown whenever I'm done. Yeah you're right that takes it off for me.
SPEAKER_07Yeah what takes for me I retract it I I feel like for me the Mount Rushmore for Austin needs to be like an Austin like it's been there for a long time I feel like the F1 track still feels a little new and less part of the the culture of Austin. I maybe that's changed I haven't been in Austin living there for like 10 years but um what about I don't know yeah tubing the river down in New Braunfalls.
SPEAKER_05Ooh that's good that's great.
SPEAKER_04Absolutely that that should maybe even be that needs to be like the biggest face on that on that mount I think but yeah because that that's one of the things that isn't necessarily like uniquely central Texas but is like a big characteristic of things that we do around here and lots of good places to go and the ones particularly around like New Braunfulls and you know uh San Marcus and and that area I think are some real gyms and any almost anybody that comes from a way out of town that's a spot that I do enjoy like if we got time to do it like yeah let's let's go float the river. Like it's a good thing that you know is is guaranteed to kind of show anybody a good time to rein into so these are three just to recap.
SPEAKER_05We've got Hamilton pool which is it's hot outside let's get in water we've got Fredericksburg which is let's go drink during the day and then we've got tubing the river which is it's hot outside let's get in the water and drink during the day.
SPEAKER_04That's exactly right um you know to to for diversity's sake then I think that the last one we should at least make sure is something that has some heavy involvement with getting in the water when it's hot and maybe some drinking.
SPEAKER_05Maybe some drinking dude I was gonna say like I would if I was making my own Mount Rushmore I because I threw out Hamilton pool and I'm not gonna pull it back but like I would put more places just to go sit and be in or near the water like well that's kind of what you have to do around here our climate sort of mandates it to a degree but there's also a lot of cool stuff to do.
SPEAKER_04It's not like you're just going and sitting in a in a bathtub lake and somewhere it's yeah I do really really like going to like deep eddy or Barton springs when it's really hot outside because it can be like a hundred degrees outside and then the water's always sixty eight or sixty nine man you know what nice I'm gonna throw one out there just to if you actually like because you're saying it but it's like man it it it's it's super iconic of of Austin is the whole Barton pool area you know I mean like and Barton Springs is iconic we it's got to be on the Mount Rushmore right I'll take Hamilton pool off to address the one that I was going to throw out there too and not that I've been there that much in recent years but something that holds a very special place in my heart as well as a lot of people that grew up in the area is is Schlitterbahn you know like I mean one of the biggest water parks in the world and you know just really Veto water something that you could I'm gonna use my second veto card to veto water parks being on this water parks. I don't like water but I think based on that veto and me needing to respect it then I think that we're we have to default Barton pool to getting that that final spot there.
SPEAKER_07Can I confess something? Do we does the committee agree so it looks like what's what's that what's that my confession is I've never been to Barton Pool. Really?
SPEAKER_04Never I'll say one thing that we've talked about a few times on this podcast is that we're uh you know we've mentioned especially whenever we were watching the film Piranha 2 that you know passive at least passive fans of boobs and one thing that's good about Barton Pool is I've still yet to ever go out there that there weren't just some wild and free tatas and uh you know that you know I I don't ever mind just one passing by uh every every every now and again I will say that one of my favorite places I like to go to Deep Eddie I think better than I like to go to Barton Springs just uh just because it feels a little chiller at Deep Eddie.
SPEAKER_05I've never been to that one. Really? Yeah it's like it's like the slightly less hipster version of Barton's have you ever been to Deep Eddie Johnny? No it's the same like it's the same like aquifer waters it's the same like really cold water but then they have like a lap swim part and then like a little like just get in the water part and it's a little more it's a little less like there's a bunch of like 20 and 30 somethings with their boobs out like smoking weed. It's just like it's just like a little more family friendly version of Barton Springs.
SPEAKER_07And it's and it's Springs it's it's all vodka right it's all yeah deep Ed Vodka it's all that's what you swim in it's 68 degree vodka that you swim in.
SPEAKER_05Okay we have our Mount Rushmore. So so we've got it planned out they can start chiseling it now.
SPEAKER_04That's right um yeah so we're gonna have to do faces for Hamilton Pool Fredericksburg River tubing and Barton pool.
SPEAKER_07Okay.
SPEAKER_04Good nice all right congratulations to all things did y'all ever go out to Hippie Hollow I've never I know what it is out there by the way I've never been I I've been out there uh two times and each time I did see a lot of nudity uh sixty five old dudes yeah it was it was like it was and they were they all seem to have the exact same body type which you know no shade uh which we call that we actually call that body type hippie hollow yeah yeah the hippie hollow they're the types that have like they're they're basically built like a cartoon blacksmith where they have like these really rotund tops with stick legs and you know that's just uh yeah it's basically they're overly tan usually you could tell from their shoulders they like were probably in pretty good shape like 25 years ago but the beer and inactivity has sort of done them in at this point. So we can see they're junk but they can't they can't that's hippie hollow that's good that's hippie hollow for you we can see their junk but they can't oh speaking of which last time that I was at Barton pool which was last week um I it and and that was probably I'd say maybe like my we'll say over the 11 years that I've lived here maybe like my eighth time going there like you know a good amount but not too many times. But it was the first time that I'd ever gone into like the the locker room shower room area and there was a guy uh that was just sitting in because it's it for anybody that hasn't been it's it's kind of a cool little area. It's sort of like a outdoor like open top shower area thing. That's a deep bed yeah and in the back corner of it there was just like this probably we'll say 60 year old guy uh ass naked with his acoustic guitar in the men's chow room just sitting there strumming along you know looking when I see stuff looking like Jenny on Forrest Gump.
SPEAKER_05When I see stuff like that I'm like that's old Austin. There's old Austin.
SPEAKER_07That feels right we still yeah we still have the we still have the remnants of it it's so that guy might be one of our listeners so if uh you are shout out to naked guitar guy and uh Barton pool yeah naked guitar guy actually shows up in some of these Craigslist postings that I pulled up man I had a crazy well we got to roll the dice one more time we got one through ten we do uh one one through six yeah uh I've got a I've got a D6 here uh one through twenty is gonna be Johnny King all right that's a six yeah Johnny King all right for this game we're gonna play Florida man uh oh hell yeah love it already so I like the I like the um I like it when when we have a a winner and a loser so we'll you this is also which who's the loser just be sure when we get to the end that you announce make a big announcement for the loser the loser okay all right so I feel like karmically it's gonna have to be me because I did that well we're gonna find out what the universe says okay so I'm gonna give you three Florida man headlines one of them is fake okay the other the other two is truly gonna be a guessing game because I feel like there is no possible way to predict the insanity that Florida man is capable of.
SPEAKER_04Yeah all right so round one Florida man arrested after throwing an alligator through a drive-thru window B God damn it Florida man calls nine one Wait is this like an attack on the the workers like this is the way that he like assaulted workers like fuck you throws an alligator like like that I didn't read the article if this one was real or not.
SPEAKER_07Okay didn't read the whole article all right keep going yeah so so this is these are just the headlines I if you want after we can we can make up a story of what we think happened.
SPEAKER_05We'll explore all right yeah so Florida man uh this is the second one Florida man calls 911 because his cat cat won't let him inside the house or Florida man tries to pay for groceries using sea shells as payment oh boy that sounds true doesn't it uh I'm gonna come out I'm gonna come out swinging I'm gonna come out swinging and say that I think that I bet I bet a I bet a Florida man has tried to pay for his groceries using shells.
SPEAKER_07Sounds like a thing either you're locking in C.
SPEAKER_05I bet there was a stoned Florida No no I'm saying that that's probably true.
SPEAKER_07We're guessing the fake one right you're guessing the fake one I'm guessing that the fake one is A.
SPEAKER_04Florida man through his alligator through window okay sorry that was the one I was gonna pick too but no I feel like that's not interesting for me to pick the same one. So let me go I mean I feel like B's gotta be true just because I you know the obviously the man's actual desire and hoped outcome of this call is to get someone to come open his door for him but I could see it being framed as like he's blaming it on the whatever. That one seems the most true to me. I'll go with C just to get keep it interesting like because maybe somebody did that I could see Florida if anybody's gonna do it it's gonna be Florida man. Florida man but like surely you got to know that you gotta you gotta pay with currency for groceries right so I'll pick C.
SPEAKER_07Alright so you've got C. Alright so George you've locked in A and Brent you've locked in C. Yeah so we have a we have a loser so Florida man good Florida man calls 911 because his cat won't let him inside is true. That's a true headline Florida man tries to pay for groceries using seashells is fake.
SPEAKER_05So Brent got it right George is the loser for that one you're right Brent it doesn't feel good so wait Florida man threw wait read can you read the whole headline the first headline Florida man threw it. Alright so Florida man arrested after throwing an alligator through a drive-thru window and I apparently I think it was a Wendy's drive-thru yeah I I'm gonna bet that that's what happened he probably like as a means of retribution for some perceived slight yeah he's like hey fuck you and just like throws I told you no mustard on my burger I guess wow I found it I've I found it I found the headline oh my gosh from 2016 reported reported by Fox News uh a 24 year old guy threw it through a three and a half foot alligator through a palm county win palm beach county wendy's drive thru window uh he was also charged with illegally possessing an alligator can you what a gold mine I've never heard of that charge oh man all right you ready so uh Brent's up one yeah George is losing by one we have Florida man breaks into jail to hang out with friends or Florida man arrested for riding a manatee like a jet ski or Florida man goddamn Florida man bitten by shark walks to bar for a beer before seeking treatment which one of those is famous there what was the first one can you say the first one one more time yeah Florida man breaks into jail to hang out with friends Brent you're up first this time I know I am yeah um man that one like I could see that being the case but man the the other ones um him writing it like a jet ski I feel like I don't know what charge do you actually like file against someone for like animal cruelty maybe because I mean there's certainly nothing in the I mean it doesn't have to be a charge to be a headline.
SPEAKER_07But it says that's what he said Florida man arrested arrested for whatever I will I'll tell you this with uh anything that here in Florida manatees are very protected.
SPEAKER_04I'll tell you that yeah right right um I think I'm gonna I think I'm gonna go with the first one Florida man breaks into jail to hang out with friends. That's a great headline that's a great headline either way I don't know actually let me switch it up I think I'm gonna go I'm gonna go see uh this one's tough this one's real tough I'm gonna go see locking in my final answer I would hope that if someone was bit by a shark they'd realize that maybe thinning their blood with alcohol is not the best move but it's like how big of a shark bite but it says he needed before he called the so he did call the ambulance I guess so I I'm gonna pick C.
SPEAKER_05I don't know I feel like so yeah this is a tough this is a tough game Johnny it's a fun game. I feel like C is true though I feel like C is true. I mean too man I've because I've been I've been in an ER with like I've been in an emergency room in South Alabama with just that one emergency room had a bunch of crazy like people who were like there was one guy who had like chopped his finger off put it in his beer cooler and hiked 10 miles to the emergency room which was like a crazy he and I think he drank one of the beers to like make room for his big I bet the shark I bet the shark story's real I bet the I bet the breaking into jail story is real too. I think that the manatee was I feel like even Florida man respects the manatee so I'm gonna I'm gonna lock in I'm gonna lock in B because I think I think that uh I think Florida man is just is sensitive to one thing and that's the plight of the manatee.
SPEAKER_04I'm trying to imagine like the real situation and I'm gonna guess like if that's the if that was real I'm gonna guess it was like you know a manatee that was up on the shore a lot like a beached thing or whatever like or just you know and then somebody like got went over to it was like hey take my picture and got on the thing and then a cop was nearby and was like oh hell no it's I don't know if it happened that's how it happened.
SPEAKER_05A manatee cop the manatee patrol manatee cop where we're locked in on our answers.
SPEAKER_07Yeah all right you're locked in all right so we have a loser Florida man breaks floor Florida man breaks into jail to hang out with friends is true. That's a real headline Florida man arrested for writing a manatee. We were both like yeah yeah no agree so uh the Florida man arrested for writing a manatee is the fake one so Brent you lose yes yes oh man all right so we're tied up like losing it's one to one how does it feel just like sit with it for a second Brent Alright I mean it's the pressure is immense alright you ready? So next round Florida man robs store while wearing a bag of chips as a mask number two Florida man That definitely happened Florida man tries to rob a store by using finger guns or Florida man Florida man steals a police horse and tries to return it later. End quotes. Which one of those is fake?
SPEAKER_06Man.
SPEAKER_04All these sound so real.
SPEAKER_05It all sounds like it could be the same story. Like it does. It does.
SPEAKER_04A man put a chip back on his head, robbed a store with finger guns, and then took off on a horse only to feel bad about it and return it later.
SPEAKER_07Oh man, if I uh I'm first future versions of this game will be where they're all tied together like that. That's great. Alright, who wants to go first?
SPEAKER_05Man. I think it's my turn. This is one of those games where it's a real advantage to go second because like the first person just needs to narrow it down a little bit for you.
SPEAKER_04Gosh, they But in in some cases, they could take the one that you were doing, and if you know, for the sporting sake, then you might change it up.
SPEAKER_05I think we could both agree that these are all equally plausible slash unplausible. Equally plausible. These are all equal. There's not there's not one in here that stands out. Like robbing a store with finger guns is as stupid as robbing a store with a chip bag on your head.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, but I can see them both going down because like the finger guns, especially when people like do it in their pocket and just to you know, like uh, I'm not gonna pull out the you know, oh yeah. The pocket finger guns.
SPEAKER_05Pocket finger guns. I'm gonna guess, shoot, this is so hard. I know that that I know I can't just I know I can't just defy it answering. It's really hard. I think it's gonna be because there's two robbing the store ones. I think it's one of the robbing the store ones. I'm gonna go with putting a chip bag on your head seems real. It seems real enough for Florida Man. I'm gonna go with uh Florida man, Florida man rob B, Florida Man robs a store with his with finger guns is fake. That's what I'm locking in.
SPEAKER_04Alright. So again, like this is kind of one of those times that I'm you were gonna pick up. I I was I was gonna go B, but like then again, I will I'll take C because I kind of want to think that like if someone is gonna take a whore, like you gotta know you're gonna get in trouble for bringing it back. You can't think that you're gonna carry it back and they're gonna be like, hey, thanks, man. You know, like what's so I'm gonna pick C based on that.
SPEAKER_07Alright. So on this question, we do have a loser. So you were both right that Florida man robs a good wearing a bag of chips as a mask definitely happened. So that's correct.
SPEAKER_06Yeah.
SPEAKER_07So Florida man steals a chance to see a chance to see a lot of things.
SPEAKER_06I like that me and Brent have agreed on the ridiculous one that's true.
SPEAKER_07Yes. So Florida man steals a police horse and tries to return it later is fake. So George, you lose that one.
SPEAKER_05Dude.
SPEAKER_07Yes. So robbing a store using finger guns.
SPEAKER_05I would veto that. Yeah.
SPEAKER_04He did that, huh? Somebody. I wonder if it was like I said it. I wonder if it's if it was like, because if you put it in somebody's face, like, give me the money, motherfucker. I mean, like, that seems less intimidating, you know. Like, I'd be like, you can't shoot me with that. That's your finger gun. But if it was in their pocket, I might just take their word for it, you know?
SPEAKER_05Uh Florida Man. I found uh this might not be the one, but I found a uh article from 2021. Florida Man tried robbing Waffle House with finger guns at a Madison Waffle House. Um Sheriff David Harper said witnesses told deputies that Rodriguez entered the Waffle House with a small dog, pointed his hands into finger guns, and yelled, get on the ground, y'all are getting robbed. Rodriguez then said he was high and drunk before grabbing some napkins and leaving the store.
SPEAKER_03Wow. Oh, oh, that's great.
SPEAKER_05So I don't know if that's the one that you're but that's A1. That's A1, yes. The time that it happened.
SPEAKER_07Alright, so our scoring is Brent 2, George 1. So round four. We have Florida man calls police to report.
SPEAKER_04So if I get a point and George doesn't, this could go ahead and lock it in, right?
SPEAKER_05Johnny's got a delay on his own. I've got a bunch of these right now, or some let's do it.
SPEAKER_07Let's do it. Round four. All right, all right, you're ready. Round four. Florida man calls police to report himself for drunk driving. Then we have Florida man arrested after practicing karate on swans in the park. Florida man steals. All right, we have Florida man steals one thousand dollars worth of rare coins, spends them at face value in vending machines.
SPEAKER_06Okay.
SPEAKER_04Wow, okay. Your first one. Okay, so this is one of those ones where like I feel very confident that the guy practicing karate on that absolutely happens. That happens. That's so ridiculous.
SPEAKER_05You and Brin agree for the first time for the third time in a row on which one is absolutely true, and that's pretty simple karate up.
SPEAKER_04Absolutely true. Um in fact, I was so uh locked into that one that I kind of can you can you breeze the other two bias one more time?
SPEAKER_07The so the first one is Florida man calls police to report himself for drunk driving. Or Florida man Florida man steals$1,000 worth of rare coins and spends them at face value in vending machines.
SPEAKER_04Uh I'm gonna go with A being the fake one then. I could see C being more plausible because like a guy steals it probably along with other things and doesn't realize that they're valuable rare coins. He just is like coins, you know, because he's an idiot. Uh I'll go with A is the fake one.
SPEAKER_05Okay. Well, that since we agree that B is absolutely real, that Flirtaman did practice his karate on a swan and got arrested. Uh I'm gonna say C, the the that the stealing a thousand dollars worth of rare coins and spending it in a vending machine. Oh, that sounds so real, but I'm gonna pick it.
SPEAKER_07All right, so so Brent, you picked A, George picked C. So for this one, we do have a loser. And the loser is both of you. Because the what? Yeah, the fake one is Florida man arrested after practicing karate one was the karate man on swans in the park. Which I can only assume that the only reason why that's not true is because practicing karate on swans in a park is probably legal here.
SPEAKER_05It's probably legal in Florida. Yeah, yeah. You can't get arrested for something. In fact, I think I recovered I recovered, I uncovered in some of my research that you get a tax deduction for practicing karate in that way in Florida. Up to$10,000.$10,000 tax deduction. Okay. Dang.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, it's it's called the swigger. Wait, so what was the first one?
SPEAKER_05What was the first one that Brent said was the a guy caught a guy reports himself for drunk driving?
SPEAKER_04Yeah, I that one I almost saw as being like a thing that maybe he got on the road and realized that you know he just wasn't capable of doing this and was kind of like, oh my god, I could kill somebody. And it's just like, come get me. You know, maybe didn't have a taxi available in his area, but uh thought it was doing the right thing, I guess. Who knows?
SPEAKER_07He's a hero.
SPEAKER_05Winter Haven, Florida. I just looked it up. Sorry, Winter Haven, Florida. Florida authorities are sharing the details of an unusual 911 call on New Year's Eve from a man who said he wanted to report himself drunk driving. Polk County Sheriff's officials say the dispatcher kept him talking while directing officers to the scene. When the dispatcher asked Michael Lester where he was, he said, I'm too drunk, I don't know where I'm at.
SPEAKER_03Okay.
SPEAKER_05Oh Florida's off the chain, man.
SPEAKER_04Michael Lester, huh? Yeah. So like if we're just abbreviating his name his name, his name's Mo Lester.
SPEAKER_05M Lester.
SPEAKER_07Love it.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_07Nice catch, Brent.
SPEAKER_05Uh there's a there's a there's a audio. There's an audio of this phone call, of this 911 call. No way. Yeah, I think so. Hold on. I'm just gonna I know that this isn't part of the game, but I'm just gonna share this screen real quick. See if you guys can hear this. Can you guys see that screen?
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_05We're just gonna see if we can hear this nine one one call together.
SPEAKER_03Wow. Okay. Sorry.
SPEAKER_05This is just this is just like the internet holes that I like to go down. John, you give me like so much fun stuff to Google. Oh, I love it. So this guy like drives to the he just drives himself to the police department.
SPEAKER_07Anyway, sorry. Oh man, I love it. He knew he was doing something wrong. Here. Are y'all ready? We've got we've got uh alright, so Brent's still up one. We have Florida man hides from the police underwater using a pool noodle to breathe. Then we have Florida man. Florida man steals forklift to move cars to make a parking spot. Or Florida man arrested after dancing naked on top of patrol car.
SPEAKER_04I think I saw that video. Yeah.
SPEAKER_05Uh is it my turn? It's I can't remember now.
SPEAKER_07I think it's George's turn. No, I think it's your turn. I think I was going in order.
SPEAKER_05Okay, so naked dancing naked on a patrol car, moving cars with a forklift to make a parking spot. What was the first one?
SPEAKER_07And uh for the first one is a man hides from the police underwater using a pool noodle to breathe.
SPEAKER_05That one is so good if it's real. I'm gonna say the A is fake. Just because I've tried to breathe underwater with a pool noodle. I can't do it for very long.
SPEAKER_04It just depends on how far down you go. Like the deeper you are, the more difficult it's gonna be. But it'd be possible that maybe like if they're searching the house or something, like this dude's just like narrowly just under the surface, right under the lip of the pool, with that noodle just kind of as a little snorkel. That could be possible. Yeah. But I I agree, that one's kind of seems um so I'll say the forklift one. I mean, like, is surely you'd have to know that that can't be a good solution to that. Uh yeah, I'll say forklift.
SPEAKER_07So you're going with the forklift. All right. So we have a loser. The Florida man arrested after dancing naked on top of a patrol car is true. We can that's real. So now Florida man hides from police underwater using a pool noodle to breathe. Is true.
SPEAKER_05Come on. God.
SPEAKER_07So what does that make, George?
SPEAKER_05George is the loser. Yeah.
SPEAKER_08Yeah.
SPEAKER_05Yeah. I called it. I called it coming in. I knew that I deserved this. Karma Strikes Again.
SPEAKER_04Oh, that's exciting.
SPEAKER_05Karma Strikes Again, bitch!
SPEAKER_04Gotcha, bitch.
SPEAKER_05That was good. Congratulations, Brent.
SPEAKER_04George, put in the theme music post here, you know, the for the loser music.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, I'll put it in in post, Brent. Wink.
SPEAKER_04Okay. It's playing right now, probably. Probably.
SPEAKER_05Uh thanks everybody for listening to our show. You know who didn't listen to our show? Florida Man. Because he was busy doing all these things that he got charged with. What a crazy thing.
SPEAKER_04He's in jail with his friend in jail right now. You never know. He definitely forgot.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, he definitely didn't do his taxes, though. We're gonna go do our taxes. Don't forget to do your taxes. Although, by the time this comes out, if you didn't do your taxes, it's too late. Too late. Too late. Sorry. Whoops. Thanks for listening to our show. Uh we enjoyed making it for you. Do we have any announcements? You can follow us. Oh, we have a we have an Instagram now. You can follow us at VitoThePodcast on Instagram, um, where we post fun content and weekly contests. Just kidding. We don't do that. But maybe we should. Uh, you can email us at veto the podcast at gmail.com if you have segments you want us to do or Florida Man headlines that you found that you don't think we're gonna find. Um, Johnny Brent, it's good hanging out with you guys. Everybody, thanks for hanging out with us. Make sure you give Vito the Podcast like 22 stars out of five wherever you get podcasts, and like and subscribe because we're gonna keep doing it. You can't stop us. Uh, we love you. Bye. Bye.
SPEAKER_01You gotta friend me. If I'm the kind of friend you need, then it's true. I'm feeling okay.