Ep. 8 - Life is a Four Letter Word

In this episode, we welcome you back to the table after a short hiatus due to the busyness of life. We catch you up on what's been going on in our inner and outer worlds while acknowledging that sometimes burnout takes over which can stifle our creativity and energy.

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www.redravenpress.net

Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:02

Hi, I'm Justin.

SPEAKER_00 0:03

And I'm Dow.

SPEAKER_02 0:04

And you're listening to the Red Raven Podcast. This show is an anecdotal, authentic conversation between a husband and wife who are learning to thread together their inner world of relationships, family, and faith. Enjoy the episode.

SPEAKER_00 1:36

They say adventure is an education where the world is your oyster, but there is no such thing as vacation. These walls armed with antiquated protection keep her secrets tucked away, funding her desire for excommunication. There is chaos within the organization where she keeps her fears perfectly aligned with compartmentalization. Who would choose to invite overstimulation into their circled corners where there is no accommodation for the crows to pluck in contamination the pieces of you that have become your manifestation? Your identity folds into the floors, your emancipation ascends to a throne where there has been reincarnation. In your self-inflicted incarceration lies the beautiful chains that anchor your awaited liberation, and you stay forever in hibernation, the kind that feeds your gender and illuminates your generation. That was a poem called Hibernation from my um recent book, Identity Theft Poetry Collections.

SPEAKER_02 2:43

Available on Amazon.

SPEAKER_00 2:44

And we thought it was appropriate for our conversation today.

SPEAKER_02 2:52

In this nation. Yeah. Life is a four-letter word sometimes.

SPEAKER_00 3:09

Yeah. It's just been very busy.

SPEAKER_02 3:13

We've had a lot of sicknesses and really, I mean, just everything kind of hits all at the same time. And we have nothing left to uh to devote our well to yeah, no no time left, no energy left to devote our time, you know, time to things that we want to do, like book promotion or podcasting.

SPEAKER_00 3:40

Yeah. We have we did have a book signing um back in February that was successful. Yeah. And um, you know, we're sharing out some poetry. There was a newspaper article that a colleague of mine wrote. So there has been some small um ways that the the book has launched a little bit. I'm also um we've been wanting to do writing cams for a while, and I am going to be doing a writing camp for little ones in the month of June. Our hope with Red Raven was to also spark creativity in our area, more like teenagers, I guess, young young adults. Um we haven't quite had time to organize that, but I'm taking the summer off to kind of see how we can do some of those things that we set out to do with Red Raven.

SPEAKER_02 4:38

Yeah, and you know, it's this the struggle with the book is that we're neither of us are natural promoters. It's just not they're marketers.

SPEAKER_00 4:45

It feels icky.

SPEAKER_02 4:47

It's not our background to sell ourselves, to sell our pro our services and products. And um, I mean I'm brother is great at it. Oh yeah. And I and I remember whenever I started uh fixing computers for people just randomly, before I ever was, you know, even thinking about going to school for it, or while I was going to school, I was like, and and they were like, What well what do I owe you? And I'm like, Ugh.

SPEAKER_01 5:09

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 5:10

Uh I mean, I'm I'm happy to do it for free. It's helpful, you know. Um and at someone told me at some point, you're gonna have to start charging for this. Right.

SPEAKER_00 5:20

And it's like a good.

SPEAKER_02 5:21

Yeah, it's a service. It's a service. Yeah. Um and so I've gotten accustomed to that, but there's still this like, ugh, I don't wanna whatever you think is fair.

SPEAKER_00 5:33

And you know, we it's not that we set out to do Red Raven podcasts or my book, um, just Red Raven Press in general. We we did not set out to really make a whole lot of money from that. It was more um, we wanted to encourage and and foster a love for creative writing, creativity in general, not just writing.

SPEAKER_02 5:56

Well, and you also want your experiences and your words and you uh and your journey to resonate with other people who you know might feel like they're the only ones that have dealt with certain things.

SPEAKER_00 6:08

And we keep saying, like, if this this just needs to be in more hands, and it's not because I'm trying to toot my own horn, it's because the the issues that the book deals with, you know, feeling um you know, the middle child of a big family, of a very religious family, and divorce, and mental health, and um infertility and miscarriage, and NICU life, and you know, April is sexual awareness assault awareness month, and it deals with that. It deals with drinking to self-destruct.

SPEAKER_02 6:48

It just there's so many things in here in the book that just can tell everybody's full stories or individual stories, and the feedback that I mean you've gotten some really good feedback about people who have had it in their hands and been like, oh my god, like this is like I needed this at this moment, you know, or have read it through a few times and just keep pouring over the words. Um and those are the stories we want to hear.

SPEAKER_00 7:16

Yeah, absolutely. Um any author, I feel I mean, some people are in it, I guess, just for the money, but for me as an author, the best compliment is that it gave someone uh a feeling that they weren't alone in their journey and the courage to use their voice. Yeah. You know, to face whatever it is they're going through. Um so that's been kind of what's been going on. We we also have had a lot of sickness, uh more me than Justin. Justin never gets sick. I've heard that nicotine is uh one of the reasons, like a way for people, it helps your immune system. And he's a vapor, so I'm curious to know. Uh really I've heard people talk about the nicotine patch being.

SPEAKER_02 8:04

You know, I like I said, I used to get sick a lot. I used to get a lot of sinus infections. Um something, some body chemistry changed or something.

SPEAKER_00 8:13

Uh it started for me with the flu in February, right? When I went back to work for spring semester, and that took me into a pretty severe flare-up, along with not having some of the medications that I need um that help me on a daily basis. Um I mean, I was in that was the longest, hardest flare-up I have been in two solid weeks.

SPEAKER_02 8:41

Probably two solid weeks, I would I would say.

SPEAKER_00 8:46

That's been the worst. Yeah. And um I got up over that, and then we had stomach, a little bit of stomach junk that Charlotte had, and then I kind of just got a little bit of it, and now I've got this terrible sinus infection that won't go away. And it's just been it just feels like it's been one thing after another.

SPEAKER_02 9:14

Yeah, gosh. Um, I mean, I feel like for the past couple months I've been going nonstop. Yeah. Now I just happened to start Moonjaro right at the time where I needed an extra boost and you know, to not only to work and to have the um brain space, which it opens up so much brain space because the food noise is just completely gone. Like I I don't even want to last time know like the when the last time I was like craved like greases.

SPEAKER_00 9:45

I know. Yeah, but high candy.

SPEAKER_02 9:47

It's high candy. Um but it also gave me the energy to to be active and um attentive here in a time where I was needed.

SPEAKER_00 9:59

Yeah. Um and I I was like part of this episode is talking about how we how we kind of just maneuver when life gets a little hard. And that's one thing that I will jump off of that you just said, because A, I feel like we're always like when one is down, the other one is in a good place.

SPEAKER_01 10:19

Right.

SPEAKER_00 10:20

And it's nice, it's it's really hard, I know, in f with families when everybody's sick or everybody's down. Um Lily had a few rough weeks in the beginning of the semester too. But Justin is so when he sees that I'm down physically or mentally, he gets into gear. And he like all of the years he spent as a bachelor are then like, you know, just light you on fire, and he takes over, he does what he needs to do, and it makes me feel a lot of guilt. I know that's not what it like the intention is, it's just because that's how a mom is. You feel guilty when you're not the one taking care of everybody else.

SPEAKER_02 11:08

Right. And so there's a couple things that I want to jump off from from there because um I know you I know it makes you feel guilty when I'm kind of taking the reins, but I wouldn't be able to take the reins without the structure and the planning that you've built and the routines that you've built. Like I know what to do because of those those things that are in place.

SPEAKER_00 11:31

It goes back to day two.

SPEAKER_02 11:32

Oh, it goes back to day two.

SPEAKER_00 11:33

Day one and day two.

SPEAKER_02 11:34

Oh, this this is all day two. And one of my favorite, like, it just it's the line that always pops in my head when you feel you say, I'm sorry you're gonna have to do all this. I'm like, this is where I shine. Like, this is my time to shine. Because there are times uh, especially when things are hard at work, where I come home and I have nothing left. And I kind of I'm in kind of autopilot zombie mode, which I hate. I hate it. I don't want to to not have attention and energy at home, but it happens.

SPEAKER_00 12:08

Yeah, it happens to everybody. I feel like it happens more to me than you.

SPEAKER_02 12:12

Well, I mean you muster something up and well, and like I said, with this shot, it has given me so much energy, uh productive energy, and like I feel I honestly over the past couple months, not just with work, but being here at home and and doing the things, there's this entrepreneurial spirit kind of growing inside me where I have all these ideas and I haven't had that space in my head for ideas over the past I don't know how long, because I felt like I was coping with overload by eating and snacking and candy and sweets and well and and how that made you feel, you know, like when your sugar is not where it's supposed to be, it it brings your body down, low energy.

SPEAKER_01 13:05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 13:05

Um you know, and it's now that that is leveling out a little bit, I'm curious to see what labs look like soon.

SPEAKER_02 13:15

Yeah, me too.

SPEAKER_00 13:16

Um I think that helps. And, you know, on top of just personal life stuff that's hard, we, you know, the world has been hard to live in.

unknown 13:30

Right.

SPEAKER_00 13:30

And and not just because things are costing an arm and a leg, but it's hard to see things unravel and war and division. I f we've had a few moments, I think, before Christmas and after, where we've kind of done some social media um what would you call that? Like we we kind of took a little bit of a break.

SPEAKER_02 13:58

I I the the phrase that came into my head was social media distancing. Not social distancing, but social media distancing.

SPEAKER_00 14:05

Social media distancing. And not because we're off of it completely, because we ha you know, as an author and with Red Raven, we we do have to kind of stay on some of those things, but also being conscientious about especially with Facebook, just like the amount of fake news and clickbait and it's not, it's not what it used to be.

SPEAKER_02 14:28

It used to be a place where you could go and just keep up with what you the people you care about were doing.

SPEAKER_00 14:33

I love days. You know what I love is days like Easter, Mother's Day, because that's when people are posting original content about their family, about their lives, and who they're thankful for. That's what I love.

SPEAKER_01 14:47

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 14:48

Because that's what it's for. Right. The whole reason I ever even got a Facebook was when Lily was in the NICU and people wanted to hear about her journey, wanted to see pictures, and so it was the best way to do that, you know, on a on a widespread scale.

SPEAKER_02 15:03

Yeah, now you have to just scroll through all the crap to get to the good stuff that you want to see. Now I can tell you this is a little trick, little tech tip right here on Red Raven Podcast. If you find in your Facebook, it might be in the little menu where you can see your memories and stuff, but there's a button that says feeds. If you click on feeds, and then you click on friends, you can see all your friends' posts without all the sponsored. I mean, there's still some dropped in there, but it's mainly what your friends either post or share. And it's not all the extra stuff. So feeds friends. It's uh Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 15:45

But even with that, it's like it's not even just that, you know, companies or advertisements, marketing, it's also the things that people are sharing. Yeah. That's just first of all, you haven't fact-checked it. Right. You haven't looked to see that the link is not even from the right company, not even from a new source.

SPEAKER_01 16:05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 16:06

You know, and we we've said this before, we are very mindful on our social media. We do not do anything without a lot of thought that goes into things that we share on our stories or our posts. We don't share anything that will create any division or um negativity where some other people can piggyback off of and post. It's mostly just stories where people are not gonna comment.

SPEAKER_02 16:34

And the main put the main things that I post are just things that we've done with the family. And I, you know, if you post anything that's not that, it's mainly in your story. So as to not like feed people's ability to comment and argue and debate.

SPEAKER_00 16:53

Right. And it's not that we don't like I I do like debate, and I do like having conversations that are hard, but only when there are ground rules.

SPEAKER_02 17:03

And not on it's not good on social media.

SPEAKER_00 17:06

No, because it creates so much animosity and people hide behind screens and they become hateful people. Yeah. And it's sad. Yeah. So that's but you know, we we've just had some of like heavy, the world's heavy, life's been heavy.

SPEAKER_02 17:24

Well, and and I told you this the other day, it's the best way I can describe it. It's like um it's there's your baseline for stress right now, everyone's, is higher.

SPEAKER_00 17:36

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_02 17:36

Your your baseline is and I I basically picture it as you're in water. Since November 2024. And the and the water is right about at the top of your lips. So you can still get some air in your nose, but one thing happens, and guess what? That water rises right above your nose and you can't breathe.

SPEAKER_01 17:57

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 17:57

And I remember, and I think I've said this on the podcast before, um, when Biden got elected and took office in January. I just felt like I could breathe. And that baseline went down and it was quiet and it was calm.

SPEAKER_00 18:11

You weren't bracing. Yeah. We've said this before. It's almost like you feel like you're in a domestic abuse situation where like you're bracing for the next hit. Right. Whether it's something that's going to affect you financially or affect the world, or someone you love. Someone you love, you know, my students, my students' families. I mean, it's just and you know, the other thing that's been going on in our lives is our our girls are growing up and have some needs, and um, you know, I have one that's 15, one that's 10, and those are sensitive times in a girl's life, and they're struggling with some things. They've had some big changes in on the other side, other parental side in their lives that they're struggling with. And as a mom, it's just I try so hard to be supportive of them, be a safe space for them. But then there are moments where you just want to take them and I I just have them the whole I just want to put them in a little bubble.

SPEAKER_02 19:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 19:37

You know?

SPEAKER_02 19:38

Yeah. Um the I there's a there's a silver lining here though too, because um when they were say eight and three, nine and four, ten and five, they were just they were clash constantly, constantly clashing and arguing, and everything was an argument and nothing ever got settled. But now they're at this point where they're kind of clinging to each other in this situation.

SPEAKER_00 20:04

Their relationship now is very sweet.

SPEAKER_02 20:06

Oh, it's awesome.

SPEAKER_00 20:07

I love watching them just like laugh together and Charlotte's so curious, she'll go in there with Lily and and and they listen to the same music and have conversations about their boyfriends, you know.

SPEAKER_02 20:20

Maybe even three years ago when Charlotte would go into Lily's room, Lily would be get out, you know, it's like kind of just get away, get out of here. But now Charlotte goes in there and you don't hear that at all. They they just they're in there for a while, or sometimes Charlotte will be in her room and Lily goes in there and they just talk and laugh.

SPEAKER_00 20:37

And even hearing from other people um that Lily's around, you know, and and her when she's talking to them about things that are going on in her life, one of the things that she brings up is that her heart hurts for Charlotte, her sister, for some of the things that she's going through. Right.

SPEAKER_02 20:56

And there was a bullying situation.

SPEAKER_00 20:58

We had a bullying situation, and and you know, just some of the ways that she's she's dealing with the the external changes that are happening with the other parent. And you know, knowing that you know, as a sister, it's like you're always gonna be there for them, and and no one else can talk bad about them except you, but it's also nice to see that Lily's her empathy for Charlotte has grown, you know. And because Charlotte's coming into a teenager, not teenager, but a preteen phase, she's also learning, oh, this is what Lily was going through a couple years ago when I was being annoying.

SPEAKER_02 21:46

Some real realization there. Uh yeah, and Charlotte's emotional capacity is growing. We see that. She's more sensitive to things. Um but I I've also like We went to the Strawberry Festival last week and I just thought I was in heaven because it was just me and her and she was just enjoying it and not like overly asking for things and and wanted she just, you know, was very well and she's ta she talks to you about her day and y'all jam to music and you know, I just this is definitely their safe space with us.

SPEAKER_00 22:22

And you know, I have sisters and my sisters are some of my best friends, and my mom was very strict about like you will be there for your siblings, and and we've all had our little things, but you know, at the end of the day, it's what I want for them is that if we die, if if their dad is gone, like if if everyone else is gone, it it is just them, and there is blood of my blood, bone of my bone. You know what I mean? Like you need to to stand by your family because there are so many people who have to create their own families because their blood relatives have not treated them well. And I don't want that for them. I want them to always love and support each other.

SPEAKER_02 23:10

Yeah. And just drop whatever you're doing at the drop of a hat when needed.

SPEAKER_00 23:15

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_02 23:15

You know, and we try to be that for for my siblings.

SPEAKER_00 23:19

Your siblings are not really around, but yeah, yeah, and they're not very needy.

SPEAKER_02 23:24

One of them is. Uh but yeah, uh I mean that's mainly kind of where we stand right now. I don't know when was the last time we recorded? Was it January?

SPEAKER_00 23:38

Yeah, I think so.

SPEAKER_02 23:39

It's been like three three months. Yeah, it's it's it's hard. It's hard to find time. Uh we have the past three weekends, we've had something. We've just we've been going, going, going.

SPEAKER_00 23:50

And we wanted to do a podcast on uh around our anniversary time, which was in March, and we had talked about it. We even kind of planned it out, like we wanted to talk we've already told our story, yeah, but but kind of more along like what does our marriage look like now and how does it work? Because I mean we've told you all this before, but we are perfect.

SPEAKER_02 24:13

I mean, it's hard to it's hard to just to refute that.

SPEAKER_00 24:17

No, to dispute that we're not perfect, but you know, we wanted to talk a little bit about that, but we just gosh, it's it's been crazy, and I know y'all, everybody probably feels that too.

SPEAKER_02 24:33

Yeah, and I wanted to go back to um, you know, sometimes I I know someone that would like your book, and I just want to give them a copy, and I just want to give them out. Yeah, there's like a certain part of me it goes back to like charging people for my services. It's like I know we have financial struggles, everyone does. And we see people, you know, they get to go to all these places and all these trips and everything, and I'm like, how much of that is you know on credit? And so I and I'm trying to we're trying to be just financially smart and um do things within our means, but I know a lot of people don't have that same knowledge or wisdom or advice, and so you know, and and we're naturally generous, like that's just in our nature to give, and we want to be able to give more and to be in that kind of financial situation, we want to be able to just bless other people. Um but I don't know where I was going with that.

SPEAKER_00 25:37

You started with the book, like we want to be able to just give that away. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 25:45

And and that's where our hearts are. We just want to help people with whatever they need. And some people can do that to a fault and you know, just give away everything.

SPEAKER_00 25:53

Yeah, and and you know, that's another that another part of the conversation of where life gets hard and heavy and work gets hard and heavy. For example, Justin took a personal day on Friday. A personal day because he wanted to do things at home, he wanted to have a day, and I wanted to be worked the whole day.

SPEAKER_02 26:10

I wanted to avoid burnout. I've I've been very close to um just like I'm working myself to the bone.

SPEAKER_00 26:17

Right. And and part of being um an empathetic person, part of being someone who is a giver naturally, is it's really the the the disadvantage of that is that you don't learn to have boundaries and parameters and say no.

SPEAKER_01 26:35

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 26:35

Um, I love my department chair because she she tells me, you can tell me, she starts anything that she's about to ask me to do, she's like, you can tell me no.

SPEAKER_02 26:44

You can say no.

SPEAKER_00 26:45

And I'm so thankful for that because that is not the case in in a lot of work environments.

SPEAKER_02 26:50

And and she's been telling you that for years, but it's only recently you've been like, I have to like for my health, I have to save that.

SPEAKER_00 26:56

Right, and and and I it was hard for me to tell her that this semester and say, I I need to give up my summer classes. Yeah. I you know, they like for me to build master courses for different stuff, and and now evidently they're paying people for it. I haven't been paid before. And she asked me, Do you want to do that over the summer? And I said, Absolutely, but I'll do it for free because I don't want to have I don't want to have to come to campus, like I don't want to have to go to some workshop. Like I just I need to have a a break from work. I love to work. I'm I'm a workaholic and I enjoy building courses and working on my courses, and I will still do that over the summer.

SPEAKER_01 27:40

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 27:41

Because it's what I love and what I what I need to do, but I need to also step away officially.

SPEAKER_02 27:50

Yeah. I think my my issue was was that whenever I was doing my job on my own, when I didn't have people under me, or maybe when I had one, but he lived in San Antonio, I put systems in place where I could easily do work from wherever I was, on my phone, on my computer, wherever, and and things could get done real quick. And that becomes a like, well, I can do it from here, so I might as well just do it. Plus, people call me directly.

SPEAKER_00 28:24

Yeah. You know, that's um with uh I don't know how much I'll follow education laws, but there's a big law that came out that is affecting um professors, you know, where they're telling us no more remote work. Right. And I I think maybe if I'm giving them the benefit of the doubt, the the heart of that was well, y'all need to go back to separating your work from your family because what happened during COVID was that that all blended together. People were working from home and then they couldn't separate. And if you put in these places these systems where you could do all of this from anywhere, like Zoom and everything online, Blackboard, Canvas, well then what that does is it it tempts you to be working at home when you should be with your family. And I underst I do understand the heart of that.

SPEAKER_02 29:15

I get the heart of it.

SPEAKER_00 29:17

But I we over-correct, just like anything. We overcorrect, especially in the state of Texas, um to a point where it it is ridiculous. It's a ridiculous bill and a law that feels micromanager, and if you really want me to tell you how many hours I work, I was charting my hours actually. If you really want me to tell you how many hours I work, you couldn't afford me.

SPEAKER_02 29:42

Right.

SPEAKER_00 29:42

And that's that's the the argument of every educator right here to tell you. Um we love our jobs. We do.

SPEAKER_02 29:51

And we love that we can do the work that we love and we can dedicate time to it whenever we have it, and so we do. And I don't want to leave people hanging. Even when I ha even when I'm sick and I stay home, I feel guilty because I know I could be out there doing something, I could be here doing something.

SPEAKER_00 30:12

Um but I think that's still something that we're both learning uh in in our work life and in our personal life, thinking also about the church, like where we're really having to learn how to say no, and not because we don't care, but because A, if we don't, burnout happens fast and furious. And B, if we don't, we're also not leaving space open for someone else to come in and be like, okay, okay, you could shine.

SPEAKER_02 30:44

Right, you could you could do this, and yeah, I'm actually I you know, I was at a place where I have two guys under me now. I have two employees, uh, but I was still trying to do it all on my own without realizing that I wasn't giving them anything to do. And there were times where we're just sitting at their desk waiting for someone to call, but people would call me directly, I'd be like, remote and real quick, take care of it then.

SPEAKER_00 31:07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 31:08

And it got to a point where I was handling these more big picture things because of some things that came up at work where I needed to focus my attention, but I was still also trying to do the things I was doing before. And I had to stop myself and realize, and I was honest with those guys, I was like, Look, I need to start delegating, and y'all need to start asking for things to do because I, you know, I need help with that. It's not something I'm used to. I'm not used to managing people. I I want y'all to take the initiative too. If y'all are here and nothing's going on, go wander. Go see, go go to an office you have that hasn't you haven't been to in about a month. Yeah. And see if they need something. Uh and so I'm still getting used to doing that. But even still, I'm still having that struggle. Like on my personal days, I'm like, uh, I'll just do it, I'll take care of it. But I was transferring a lot away. I was like transferring it to someone who could help them in person.

SPEAKER_00 32:03

Well, because at the end of the day, you know, we don't know what tomorrow holds. And if we're not also preparing the next person, the next generation, then the person under us, then if if something happens, then all those systems just stop. Yeah. All those things that you built and worked so hard on, if we're not training other people to do that, then all of that just stops.

SPEAKER_02 32:30

Yeah. And so and and that's why I've been pretty honest with them as I've been working towards my goals, my recent goals, is I just keep them in the loop. This is what I'm working on.

SPEAKER_01 32:40

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 32:41

And getting their input too. What do y'all think? You know, how would you handle this? And um that way they're at least informed on what I'm trying to accomplish. And I'm not just doing it all with blindly. You know, they're like just leading me or le following behind me, not knowing exactly what's happening. So I'm trying to prepare them to, you know, this is a system that we're gonna have in place. Y'all can start using it and and get familiar with it, you know, stuff like that.

SPEAKER_00 33:13

I think it also just reminds me that even though we're we're good at our jobs and and part of our identities, it's not necessarily our job, but like we we have a passion for what we do. We're we're genuine helpers and educators and learners, but at the end of the day, we're replaceable.

SPEAKER_01 33:33

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 33:33

We're not replaceable at home.

SPEAKER_01 33:35

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 33:36

You know, no one can replace me as a mom. No one could replace you as a husband. Like, I don't want to live without you. How do I live without you? Like, that's literally like a fear of mine. Tell me how am I supposed to live without you? Um it, you know, it's kind of um an eye-opener. My sister was really good. I remember after I stopped teaching. You know, because you just have so much guilt about your job, and I remember her telling me, like, that I understand your passion, I understand you love and you want to fight for what's right in those positions, but your family needs you, and so you have to be careful about how much you put into there's a balance.

SPEAKER_01 34:32

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 34:32

I think that's probably what I'm trying to say. In in everything that we've just talked about being sick and life gets hard and stressful and the world's heavy, there's a balance that you you have to find for yourself, and our balance may not be somebody else's balance.

SPEAKER_02 34:46

Yeah. I mean, this, you know, we were looking forward to today because we had nothing planned.

SPEAKER_00 34:54

Nothing.

SPEAKER_02 34:55

We, you know, there was, yeah, there's some chores on the to-do list, and but that that's all routine. Yes. There was nothing where we had to venture out and which takes us back to that point my read.

SPEAKER_00 35:07

I'm a hibernator hibernator. Yeah. I don't like once I'm back at my house, I don't want to leave. I don't like to go on errands, I don't like to leave the house, I don't like to spend money. Yeah. I just want to be in my home that I spend a lot of money on every month. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 35:22

You know, that it was uh it was this is like our our good Saturday where I can wake up, we can wake up, I can go get our regular tacos, and we sit, and the noise that you made whenever you're just like, oh, there's nothing to do.

SPEAKER_00 35:37

It's so wonderful, so nice. And I realized that like in summer, if this is my everyday, I get to a point where I get restless. Yeah. I'm like, okay, I need something to do, or I we need routine back. But I try really hard to find little projects around the house. I make my summer to-do list, but it's things I want to do. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 36:02

That don't you don't have time for when you're working.

SPEAKER_00 36:04

No, I don't and I don't have the brain space or the energy. Yeah. And quite frankly, my body is only capable of certain tasks every day. You know, that that's a grief process in and of itself.

SPEAKER_02 36:19

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 36:20

For the things my body can't do anymore.

SPEAKER_02 36:23

Whereas with all this energy I have, I'm like, what else can I do? What else can I do? What else can I get done with? So get it done. Get it done. Let's go, let's go, let's go, let's go. I I love it though. I love this. I feel like I did when we first got together where I just had this, I was like, oh, I'm I'm gonna do it all. She's not gonna have to lift a few.

SPEAKER_00 36:44

The medicine he was on then was love.

SPEAKER_02 36:46

Yeah. She's not gonna have to lift a finger. I got it. I got it.

SPEAKER_00 36:51

And he learned quick that even though that's so appreciated, especially considering it was not the case of my first marriage.

SPEAKER_02 36:58

It doesn't mean she can't do it.

SPEAKER_00 36:59

It doesn't mean I can't do it. Or that you should let me do some things. Not let, sorry, that is not a word that you would hear me say. But he he wanted so bad to fill so many gaps that I had had in my life for a long time. But, you know, to a point where I remember have a few times having to say, I can do this, you know, I am fully capable of making my child's plate.

SPEAKER_02 37:25

Yeah. Yeah. You know, I and I know I had to learn that even like on a day where you're in more pain, if you get up and do the dishes or something, I it's in my best interest, my best interest to just let you because you because it's gonna make you feel like you're contributing. And that's important. Like to to uh allow you to not in allow is the same as let.

SPEAKER_00 37:54

We're having a talk after this. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 37:59

That's the wrong word.

SPEAKER_00 38:01

To give you the space to give me the space to to do things that may be hard on that day, really hard. Yeah. But I need to feel productive. Right. And I need to feel like I'm contributing even on a bad pain day.

SPEAKER_02 38:14

Yeah, it's important. Oh goodness gracious.

SPEAKER_00 38:23

We this uh I think we we've been wanting to podcast for a while. It's just been put on the back burner, and we didn't have a specific topic today. Yeah. Other than just kind of giving you some reasons why we haven't podcasted in a while. We have some future topics. Um, you know, we we're trying to focus on the inner, our inner world and the outer world, and we we kind of brainstormed some topics on both of those. And I feel like we really focus a lot on the inner. Um because the outers the outers are big topics and and they are, you know.

SPEAKER_02 39:04

We want to be well researched, so we don't want to throw anything out there that's not true.

SPEAKER_00 39:09

Well, and we also know that we have to, I feel like before you can just start, you know, really diving into those outer world topics, that you need to gain people's trust and they need to understand who you are as a person. Yeah. Um, and what experiences have brought you to those beliefs. And I feel like we've sprinkled that a little bit along the way. We have. Um, but if there are something that you're curious about, um for our lives or us as a couple, if you have questions or you have topics that you want us to cover.

SPEAKER_02 39:41

Leave a comment. Yeah, send us a comment or you can email at us, uh email uh at us, email us at admin at redrehavenpress.net.

SPEAKER_00 39:52

Because we also want, you know, obviously right now it looks like we're talking to no one standing here with just a microphone. Yeah. But we realize there's an audience on the other side, and so we want to be cognizant of what you are curious about or would like to hear.

SPEAKER_02 40:08

Yeah. Um and you know, I I definitely want to I want to push the book. And again, that's just something we haven't had time to to kind of see what the avenues are to do that properly.

SPEAKER_00 40:22

Um Well, and the second book's already in the works. Not really like on the publishing side, but I already am I I have the I think the title and um a few artists I'm gonna reach out to uh for this book. It's it's going to be more focused like on social justice and um collective experiences that our generations have uh gone through.

SPEAKER_02 40:52

Yeah. But me personally, I've just been trying to like find side hustles that I can throw myself into when I do have some time to think about them. And you know, I was able to redesign a whole website for an organization here locally, which was really cool. Um and that will be ongoing, I think. And I don't think they will want to change that up anytime soon, so it'll just be really nice to have that extra, you know, around this certain time of year. But I do I want I also have a heart for helping people with their personal finances. And I want to get into that and just, you know, uh make people feel more secure in how they manage their money uh for their house, for their for themselves, for their households.

SPEAKER_00 41:39

Yeah, and that's probably a topic that we'll we'll discuss soon, kind of our our financial journey a little bit.

SPEAKER_02 41:46

Um that'll be a fun one.

SPEAKER_00 41:48

Yeah. Probably be more you focused. Yeah. I don't like numbers or money.

SPEAKER_02 41:56

Yeah. Um, and so there there's some things, there's some projects that I want to kind of flesh out a little bit. Um, but there's some things that are just ongoing. People, you know, there are the we get these kind of what do you call them? Um oh gosh, there's a word for it in the in in when it comes to work or money. What do you call it whenever you just get a big influx of like money or opportunities to make money? Oh gosh. Uh it'll come to me.

SPEAKER_00 42:29

I think the word influx is good.

SPEAKER_02 42:31

Influx is good. Or like a pocket of it's like a wave, though. Uh oh gosh, man, my brain's not working. Um anyway, yeah, there's there's these times where, you know, uh four or five people call me in the span of a couple weeks and just need extra help with their computers at home. Just stuff on the side. And it's just it's and it's really usually when we need it, you know.

SPEAKER_00 42:59

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 43:00

Um, but then there's other times like we we actually just got a new roof on our house after a year of kind of dealing with insurance company. Um, and so that's kind of been a weight off our shoulders because it was in bad shape.

SPEAKER_00 43:14

And you know, we have a lot of projects that we want to to do, but we're trying to be very conscientious of you know timing uh that and we don't we don't want to be in any more debt. So it's a matter of planning and talking and like I said, we'll we'll probably have a more detailed uh podcast uh uh episode where we we dive into that.

SPEAKER_02 43:40

But yeah, because I would I do want to go back through our history of where we started together and or separate and then together and how that all kind of led to where we are now.

SPEAKER_00 43:51

But today we just kinda wanted to recap what life is. Catch up like uh the last couple of months and we're still here. We haven't left. We haven't forgotten our podcast.

SPEAKER_02 44:08

I hope the algorithm still lets you find us.

SPEAKER_00 44:11

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 44:12

No, we'll post this out there. We'll share it and yeah.

SPEAKER_00 44:16

I will also say that, you know, I never thought I would be a podcast person.

SPEAKER_01 44:21

Right.

SPEAKER_00 44:22

We are musical people and I love listening to music I drive a lot every day or every week. And um but I started listening to podcasts and so they and they're on different topics, you know, some of them may not resonate with you, but I also think it's important to give shout outs to podcasts that you enjoy. And like you love the Dave Ramsey podcast.

SPEAKER_02 44:50

I may not agree with all of his views, but um financially he's very wise. I love the personalities on it. I know you listen to the Spirit Outspoken.

SPEAKER_00 45:01

Well and he uh Dustin also has his another podcast he does with his friends over movies and TV shows called The Dog at Club. Yeah. I love Spirit Outspoken. I love um the uh Who Did What Now which is a history podcast um another history podcast that I love it's actually the very first podcast I started listening to it's these two history professors um English from England it's called The Rest is history and that is a really cool podcast.

SPEAKER_02 45:38

The only other two that I really listen to or have listened to extensively are the Lonely Island Seth Myers podcast which is kind of a deep dive into the digital short era of Saturday Night Live which is it's so good and funny. And then the Adventure Zone is the McRoy brothers and their dad playing Dungeons and Dragons and they just go through these stories and they're really fleshed out stories.

SPEAKER_00 46:01

It's so we have very different T podcast here.

SPEAKER_02 46:04

Yeah because I'm I listen to like the deconstructionist and um this one was it's called the Faith Lab now but it was originally um oh um almost heretical oh right right right and um the other one that I love is called Flipping Tables by Monty Mater phenomenal she is so smart um and and feisty another another redhead I did I do watch a a few YouTube channels uh Caleb Hammer I I've seen his clips on tip tick tock he runs this channel and the show is called Financial Audit but he's very crass um and he'll just like basically roast people for their finances he only brings on the people that are in the worst shape uh young people yeah and just berates them for how they're managing their money but he also like gives them tons of resources to help them get back in yeah in financial shape which is and it's it's just I I like to learn about that kind of stuff because I think it'll help me help people uh you know maybe not in the same way with the same attitude uh because I really do want people to to flourish. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 47:22

Um and we also um on the way home from Florida we were struggling in these last few hours when of getting to our destination and I I I don't know I haven't listened to anything other than this one episode of Joe Rogan I don't really know how I feel about him because I think he's got some views I don't agree with but he was interviewing James Talarico for an hour and a half. We really love um where he stands and it was a great episode.

SPEAKER_02 47:54

It was what got us to the hotel in in Mississippi.

SPEAKER_00 47:57

It was such a good episode yeah I guess it was Mississippi but yeah so I mean just and and you may not listen to everything in another podcast right like you can pick and choose and that's kind of the beauty of um of podcasting and and you can have uh you know they have guest speakers and anyways those are just some of our personal um favorites just individually and collectively that we've listened to um there's just such a huge range out there.

SPEAKER_02 48:30

Yeah and you know our my the podcast I do with my friends it's obviously not very popular um because it has been sporadic over the years but we've been doing it for since 2017. Yeah. That's nine years that we've been podcasting and we have a big catalog of episodes we're about to go into season four and talk about actors and deep dive them individually in each episode. It's gonna be really fun we're gonna start that um next not this week but next week. It'll be really fun I'm gonna really enjoy that um and it's a good like we started it because my friend uh Evan he gets in his own mind a lot and he really is a creative person. He is a character um he could easily have gotten into voice acting and character acting when he was hilarious uh and he he's kind of not in the career that really fulfills that but this is an outlet for him and you know he was really down one uh just at one point in our lives and I was like let's just do it and it's been something that his he's looked forward to every time we do it and it just gives him that outlet to be creative, be funny.

SPEAKER_00 49:39

Well and I think that that really like ties back into just kind of where we started with Red Raven and and and maybe why it's had this ebb and flow of activity is because everybody needs something that they can be creative in. It can be writing it can be art it can be dance it can be the like there's so much out there creativity and and tapping into that not just as a way of personal healing and personal like identity find out who you are but I feel like it also you're you're plugging into a collective creativity as well and you find people with common identities common voice common views and you can you realize that you know what stood the the test of time literature art and it told the story of the times in which it was produced. Yeah and so it's just an encouraging people to find something an outlet in your life that's creative.

SPEAKER_02 50:46

Yeah and for us you know we're not face forward TikTok people where you're not gonna see us on camera talking to the we like to hide behind talking to our phones and promoting that's just not who we are but the fact that we can just sit here and do this just have what would be our normal conversations with each other just where people can hear. Yeah because sometimes we feel like people don't get a real look at who we are and how we how we work together uh in our lives and this just opens a window. Yeah it ba it opens the curtains to the window where people can just kind of peek in and see who we really are right together and individually um because we it's like you say I'm not gonna beg for love.

SPEAKER_00 51:34

I'm not gonna beg for your effort or attention but this is a way for us to at least show who we are who who we really are genuinely genuinely um to whoever whoever wants to peek in and possibly make connections and along the way and not just not just connections but you know as we've said before my favorite metaphor is coming to a table and hearing the experiences and the stories and what makes someone believe what they believe or who they are or act the way they do and if we can understand that a little better about people the world would be better.

SPEAKER_01 52:24

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 52:27

Okay. We did it.

SPEAKER_00 52:30

Yay check it out the to-do list I'm just kidding. Thank y'all for listening and sticking with us even on on episodes that might feel a little hodspodgy I like the hodgepodge that's all we do on our podcast.

SPEAKER_02 52:44

We have a little structure but then we just talk about whatever we've been up to and what we're doing and what we're interested in. And it usually always falls back to comic books, movies, superheroes, uh fantasy, game of thrones, you know um and that's just we we just we want to hang out together and we just would rather do it while we're recording. So hopefully we can get into a routine of doing this more often and being consistent but just so y'all know things happen. Yeah things happen but we will always try to come back.

SPEAKER_00 53:23

There are other ways you can get to know us like going in to our website and purchasing identity theft a poetry collection on Amazon by Valerie Page go check it out tell your friends share our show.

SPEAKER_02 53:37

Follow us on Instagram Red Raven Press is our um brand uh or uh at Valeriepage author author on Instagram um if you want to find me I'm don't blink dude don't blink dude on Instagram uh and uh we well we might even start a red raven tick tock at some point uh but it won't be face forward it'll be mainly mainly captioned uh but we'll we'll see how that kind of works out uh we hope you have a wonderful day a wonderful weekend and we will see you next time yeah