Ep 022: Natalie Mika: From Fear to Freedom - Leaving an Abusive Relationship, Part 2

This episode is part two of a two-part conversation.

After recognizing the danger she and her son were facing, Natalie made the difficult decision to step away from an abusive situation and begin rebuilding. The path forward was not simple. Legal challenges, uncertainty, and fear were still very real parts of the journey.

Natalie reflects on the moments where her faith carried her through some of the most difficult days, especially while navigating the legal process and learning how to rebuild a life that felt safe again.

Today, Natalie is working full time, raising her son, and beginning the early stages of launching a foundation designed to support women who may be facing situations similar to the one she experienced.

Her goal is simple. To create a place where women can find resources, support, and the reminder that they are not alone.

As Natalie shares in this episode, the hardest seasons do not define the whole story. They are only one chapter.

Every life has a story worth telling. Follow Unspoken Lives Podcast on your favorite podcast app and join the conversation. Visit unspokenlivespodcast.com and follow @unspokenlivespodcast on Instagram. 

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

You're tuning in to part two of Natalie's story. If you haven't listened to part one yet, I recommend starting there first. Welcome to Unspoken Lives, the podcast that uncovers the powerful, untold stories of everyday people. The real stories you don't always hear, but ones that deserve to be told. I'm your host, Kelsey Billingsley. In each episode, we'll explore journeys of growth, resilience, and transformation. Conversations with guests who have faced challenges, embraced change, and discovered new purpose along the way. Through their stories, you'll find inspiration, hope, and a reminder that every life has a story worth telling. Let's dive into this next unspoken life.

SPEAKER_00 1:18

And when you're trying to get make sure that you're protected or that your kids are protected, it becomes even more frustrating sometimes. So I had a lot of moments like going to court hearings where I just would pray before I would like literally just give, give everything to God and just basically surrender. Those are probably the most profound moments I had, like going through this whole process where I knew there was so much writing on that day, and that could change everything. But if we can walk in faith in those moments, especially the ones where, you know, if you're going through something like this, it's not easy. It's worth it, but it's not easy. And it's it's frustrating at times because you have to wait for hearings to be scheduled, and you might have to sit in a courtroom for hours and hours waiting to get called. And those are the moments where I felt like God showed up and was very encouraging.

SPEAKER_01 2:16

Yeah, that makes sense. Now I remember the first time we talked, one of the, I guess you could call it themes we talked about in speaking about faith, you shared a little bit about when you were younger and you had lost your father and how some realizations that had come out of that um were still playing into, you know, this situation that you went through. Can you share a little bit about that?

SPEAKER_00 2:41

Yeah. So I think when we initially were talking about this, like I was just sharing that there's like I think there's a common theme for me in my life, is that that God has found ways to remind me that like he's like the ultimate father. And I think that I was raised in a very traditional, like, nuclear family where my dad was very involved in my life, and I didn't know any different from that. Like I you know, was raised Christian and I never really had anything controversial happen when I was growing up. Like I had just a really loving family, and my it was like a solid family unit. Right. So my dad ended up having an aneurysm in my junior year of high school, and that kind of just like threw everything upside down because I was so cold with him, and I have younger brothers, and I kind of had to step up and help my mom raise my brothers. I had to step up. Thanks. Yeah, I mean, life is just, you know, like it doesn't always go the way that we expect. But ultimately, like that situation was kind of a starting point for me in my life of realizing that was maybe the silver lining of it. Even though losing my dad at such a young age was horrible and the last thing I would have ever wanted to kind of circle back to what you said about our history together. Like, that's when I started going to Rock Harbor. That's when I started growing in my faith because I realized that obviously we have our family and we have our friends and we have people to support us, but like we really have to rely on God like more than anything else. And that experience kind of forced me to do that, to where I was like going to church every week and I was like building relationships with people who had the same faith and were rooted in that. And I don't think I would have had that experience if I didn't go through losing my dad. I think that's also kind of what set the tone for what's happened after that, to where, you know, like I'm raising my son now and he doesn't really have a father figure. And that's I think that's challenging. Um, but it's also a blessing that I can share my own experience with him and and remind him that God is like our ultimate father and protector and and all of the things. And as much as we strive for whatever we can in our lives, whatever we're able to do, but ultimately like that's what our you know, that's what our faith calls us to believe. And that's what I've been pushed to believe through these experiences.

SPEAKER_01 5:14

Yeah. Well, that's beautiful. I I know it couldn't have been easy losing your dad at a young age, but it's beautiful seeing how God showed up and filled that hole and how He's He's continuing to do that through what you're going through. Oh, thank you. I appreciate that. So I'd love to learn more. I know you shared a little bit earlier about this foundation that you started or starting. Can you share about the heart behind it, the you know, the purpose of it? Um, just going a little more detail on it.

SPEAKER_00 5:46

Yeah, absolutely. So I it was kind of just a a thought that I had, like maybe a year ago. I I had this idea of, you know, after kind of getting to the other side of everything I went through, like what would it look like if I could try to give back to women who are going through things I went through? Yeah, that's kind of where this whole thing began. But when I was going through what I went through, I felt really alone and to the point that as embarrassing as it is, there were times I would literally call the National Domestic Violence hotline from my closet. Like I would go sit in my closet and call this num 800 number and talk to a random person. And it was kind of like a free therapy session, and also I knew this person has no idea who I am. They have no idea anybody I know. So I don't really feel like a judge, you know, safe. Like I feel safe, like it's a safe space. So I I had to do that at times. And looking back, I'm like, I just feel like there's so much opportunity for organizations or for people to kind of step up and to be able to help women who are going through stuff like this and be there for them in a different way. And so that's where the whole concept of this foundation started is just to be able to support women when they're going through stuff like this and be a safe space for them. And I also wanted it to be like very much centered in my face. But also just, yeah, like I mean, even if it's just which is kind of like what I'm working toward now is just being able to connect people with the right resources to where you can call and ask, like, if I need to figure out like where I can go if I'm trying to leave, like what are my options? If I need, you know, basic resources for my kids, like what are those options? Just that kind of stuff to where you don't have to feel judged, you don't have to worry about being like stigmatized, like you can just reach out, get what you need, and not feel like you're doing everything by yourself. And that's kind of where this whole thing came from for me. So I love that. Still like in the beginning stages, but I'm excited to see where it goes. And I think there's a lot of opportunity, you know, like as of now, it's kind of more just centered on being able to offer resources, you know, over the phone or virtually. But eventually I hope that it can be like in person as well. And that women can find some comfort in knowing that there are like real people out there who want to help you. And they, you know, and they'll do everything that they can. And I want to pour my heart into that because I'm lucky enough that I've gotten to where I am, and now I can kind of like take everything that I've gone through and use all of this to try to help other people who are going through similar situations.

SPEAKER_01 8:51

Yeah. Is your foundation at a point where if somebody wanted to find it, they could search for it?

SPEAKER_00 8:56

Yeah. So right now we're going through the process of like being uh officially accredited, but for the time being, the website is together she rises.org and TogetherSheRises.org. Okay. Yes. And in the very near future, once I have everything set up for like tax purposes and everything, if people do want to give back or if anybody's interested in volunteering, like I would totally welcome that. And okay. Even now, if anyone is in need of resources, I would welcome anyone's requests or like situations where they need help because I can very much do everything that I can for the moment. But it's definitely be a process to get to the place I want to. We're on the way to doing that. And for the time being, if nothing else, at least I hope women out there who are going through what I went through just know you're not alone. Like you don't have to walk through this alone. And there's always gonna be someone, you know, who can talk to you and help you find the resources that you need. It's not gonna be easy, at least it's it's something that's there and available. And hopefully over time this will be, you know, big picture, something where women are able to feel empowered to walk away from really bad situations that they shouldn't be in.

SPEAKER_01 10:20

If someone out there listening to this is in a bad situation and they feel trapped or, like you said earlier, ashamed, what would you say to them?

SPEAKER_00 10:31

I would just really encourage anyone who's in that place to reach out to the people around you and try to remember that, you know, like just in the same spirit as your podcast, like everybody has a story. And sometimes we feel ashamed by our story because we don't know how to navigate it. But that doesn't mean that you should stop talking to people about what you're going through. And also, um, as much as you try to stay connected to the people around you, pray like and stay connected to God because sometimes I think like the enemy tries to make us feel hopeless and isolates us from the people around us or the resources around us, but there's so much power in just surrendering to God and knowing that if you take this all the steps that you can take, that God will show up for you. And there's a lot of power in that. And I think sometimes when when you're going through something like this, it kind of takes the wind out of your sails and you just feel like defeated. Nobody will understand and nobody will listen, and maybe you even feel like God won't listen. But don't stop reaching out, whether it's praying or talking to people, that makes such a huge difference in these types of situations.

SPEAKER_01 11:50

Yeah. I mean, obviously you got out. Um, you're in a much better spot now. But what is something that would have helped you do it sooner, do you think?

SPEAKER_00 12:00

I got so discouraged because I sold myself this idea that if I handle this on my own and isolate myself from other people and dealing with it, I can just do it by myself. I don't need my friends or family or God or anybody to help me through it because I felt kind of ashamed about it. Right. And so I could have made it a lot less difficult for myself if I had just kind of surrendered a little bit and said, like, okay, you know what? It's okay to tell the people around you that you're going through a difficult time, especially with something like this. The people who love you and support you will show up for you and not judge you. And most definitely like keeping your faith, like not giving up on that. So I think that for me, I definitely isolated myself and didn't share what I was going through with a lot of people because I was embarrassed.

SPEAKER_01 12:59

Yeah. I know you know this, but I'm I'm just gonna say you have to give yourself grace too. I mean, you always hear about abusive situations, how isolation is, you know, one of the key things that they do. Right. Totally. Yeah, I know I know I know you know that, but I'm just saying that because I just want to remind you to give yourself grace on what you went through.

SPEAKER_00 13:25

I appreciate you saying that. And I've actually heard that from I have had like a few people that I'm close to either reach out to me because they're going through something similar, or they already went through something like that, and we kind of bond over it. And that is something that comes up a lot. It's just the isolation factor. And when you're in it, you don't realize it. But there are people around you who will show up for you and not judge you and support you. So I think that you know, keeping yourself open to that and knowing that like you're not by yourself makes it a lot easier to navigate it.

SPEAKER_01 14:04

When you got through it, did you have anyone that was close to you, family or friends, share? Like, oh, I I did feel like I kind of lost you for a little.

SPEAKER_00 14:15

Um, yeah, I mean, even my mom, you know, and it was like really it was really heartbreaking for her to tell me this, but she said, like, yeah, at one point I thought I might lose you because she saw everything I was doing to try to protect myself. And you know, she she's probably one of the closest people to see all of it happen. And I'm super close with her. And I think that she felt at a certain point like that might happen. Like she put that on her radar, and when everything was said and done, she was like, I know it's not perfect, but like you literally get to live your life now and not have to look over your shoulder. Like, you can actually feel safe, and I don't have to worry about you every day. Because she used to call me every day, like multiple times a day. Like, where are you? What are you doing? Are you okay? And like, we're like almost 40. So this is like not now, this is a few years ago, but still, like my mom was never like that before.

SPEAKER_01 15:18

Like, okay, you know, as a teenager.

SPEAKER_00 15:20

Yeah, exactly. Like she would check in like every few days or whatever, but like during this time, she's calling me like multiple times a day. Like, what are you doing? Are you okay? Like, who are you with? And I know it was really hard on her, and she really did worry at one point, like, I don't know how all this is gonna play out. And I think there are other people in my life who felt the same way, yeah. Yeah, once you get to the other side of it and see it for what it was, like, yeah, it's it's kind of crazy to realize like that was the reality. But it was for a while.

SPEAKER_01 15:54

Yeah. I'm so thankful you had the courage to, you know, stick up for yourself and your son and think about your safety um and and rely on God to get through it. Obviously, I'm thankful for that, but I just, you know, want to commend you for your courage and now, you know, being able to share that story and whether there's some someone out there going through a situation like this who just needs that little bit of courage to do what you did, or just the reminder that they're not alone. I just want to thank you for sharing all of this.

SPEAKER_00 16:26

Of course, yeah. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to so and I hope that it's encouraging to anybody who's going through it because everything's temporary and God is very faithful.

SPEAKER_01 16:38

So is there anything else that we didn't touch on that you wanted to share about?

SPEAKER_00 16:43

I feel like we kind of hit all of the main things, but I definitely just, you know, like the ultimate message that I'm hoping to share is just that if anybody's going through this kind of situation, like there are a lot of resources out there and there are a lot of people out there who will support you. And it's just it's a chapter, it's not the whole book. And sometimes when you're going through something that's really hard, it feels like everything. But then you get to the other side of it and you realize like you still have the rest of your life ahead of you.

SPEAKER_01 17:16

So yep, definitely. I was just gonna say, make sure to keep me updated on your foundation because yeah, if I have anyone listening, you know, that needs it at any point, I'll share about it on all of my podcast social media and everything. Uh so keep me updated so I can can share it on there.

SPEAKER_00 17:34

Thank you. I appreciate that. I definitely will keep you updated as things move along.

SPEAKER_01 17:39

So well, thank you so much, Natalie. I'm hoping all of this recording went through okay. Otherwise, we'll do round three. We're gonna get this out there.

SPEAKER_00 17:52

Like part 13.

SPEAKER_01 17:55

We will not stop trying.

SPEAKER_00 17:58

Yeah, it's gonna work. Thanks for being patient. Thanks to your editor in Germany. He's a roster. I don't know who this person is, but he sounds like the most patient human ever.

SPEAKER_01 18:08

So he's great.

SPEAKER_00 18:10

He is yeah, that's awesome. But yeah, thank you so much. And yeah, I'm excited. I feel like I feel good about this. So hopefully all the audio turns out.

SPEAKER_01 18:20

Yeah, I agree. Well, thank you. That's it for this episode of Unspoken Lives. If today's story moved you, inspired you, or made you reflect on your own journey, hit that subscribe button so you don't miss the next powerful conversation. I'm always on the lookout for new guests. If you know someone with a story that deserves to be shared, I'd love to hear from you. Check the show notes for contact details and make sure to follow along on social media at Unspoken Lives Podcast. Until next time, keep listening, keep sharing, and remember, every life has a story worth telling.