Ep 025: Gina Litvack: She Was Told No Seven Times, Part 1

Gina Litvack always knew she wanted to be a mom.

What she didn’t expect was being told no seven different times while pursuing adoption as a single woman.

Still, she refused to give up.

In Part 1, Gina shares the years of rejection, waiting, and perseverance that came before her life changed forever. But beyond her story itself, Gina brings a perspective and joy that is impossible not to walk away inspired by.

In this episode, Gina shares:

• Why she chose to pursue adoption on her own
• What it felt like to be repeatedly turned away
• How she stayed hopeful through years of waiting
• The mindset that kept her moving forward

This is a story about resilience, persistence, and refusing to let closed doors define your future.

Part 2 shares the moment everything changed.

Every life has a story worth telling. Follow Unspoken Lives Podcast on your favorite podcast app and join the conversation. Visit unspokenlivespodcast.com and follow @unspokenlivespodcast on Instagram. 

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:06

Welcome to Unspoken Lives, the podcast that uncovers the powerful, untold stories of everyday people. The real stories you don't always hear, but ones that deserve to be told. I'm your host, Kelsey Billingsley. In each episode, we'll explore journeys of growth, resilience, and transformation. Conversations with guests who have faced challenges, embraced change, and discovered new purpose along the way. Through their stories, you'll find inspiration, hope, and a reminder that every life has a story worth telling. Let's dive into this next unspoken life. Today I'm sitting down with Gina Litback, who actually lives right here in my neighborhood. What's funny is that even though we live close to each other, we had never actually met until recently. After I shared about my podcast, Gina reached out and said she had a story she felt was meant to be shared. As she began telling me a little bit about her journey, it quickly became clear that it was the kind of story that offers a lot of inspiration and perspective. Becoming a mom was something Gina had wanted for a long time. But as a single woman pursuing adoption, the road there was not easy. She spent years preparing and continuing to move forward, even while being told no again and again by adoption agencies. And then one day she received a call that changed everything. She had just 24 hours to decide whether she was ready to become a mom. Gina, I'm really grateful you're here and willing to share this. Before we get into this story, I'd love to learn a little bit about who you are today.

SPEAKER_01 1:40

Thank you so much for having me. I am so grateful. And I've always wanted to help other people that had a dream. My dream came true nine years ago today, which is incredible.

SPEAKER_00 1:54

I know you you shared with me that I know we'll get into the story, but this is adoption day. Yeah. Nine years later, which we did not plan.

SPEAKER_01 2:02

I know. It just it happens.

SPEAKER_00 2:04

Yeah, which is quite amazing.

SPEAKER_01 2:06

Um, today my son is nine years old. He is thriving. We have such a happy, just loving home. You know, I work really hard. He goes to school and works really hard. And it's just a dream come true. I literally pinch myself every day that we uh that we are living in such an amazing neighborhood, such an amazing city, and we have such an amazing, blessed, truly blessed life.

SPEAKER_00 2:35

Yeah, that's beautiful. Thank you for sharing that. I know you had shared with me that becoming a mom was something you'd always hoped for. And you mentioned that was your dream. Can you share a little more about that?

SPEAKER_01 2:45

Yeah, I always remember, you know, I think my brother got married when I was younger. And I remember I just always wanted to have the white picket fence, everything that everyone dreamed about, the wedding, the husband, the kids. You know, just always imagine them playing in the park. And I've all I started babysitting really young, I think like maybe 11 years old in Chicago.

SPEAKER_00 3:09

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 3:10

And I just love kids. I could always relate to them. And it was just something that I always saw in my dreams and in my life. It started really early, actually.

SPEAKER_00 3:22

Okay. And at what point did adoption start becoming an option for you?

SPEAKER_01 3:28

You know, in my 20s, I always thought I was gonna have a family in my 30s, in my 40s. So I think I would say my 40s, I was like, okay, I'm getting older. I always, I just never really met the one to for forever.

SPEAKER_00 3:51

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 3:51

I've had really great relationships and but they just never worked out. So I I think I was like maybe 39, and you know, I was very driven from a very early age. I went from high school to working, and I just was always driven. I was always very career focused. And I think um, you know, as my friends were getting married and having families and my family, my sister and my brothers, kids were growing up, and I was a crucial part of their lives. I just kind of always were like, it's gonna happen, it's gonna happen. I prayed about it all the time, I talked to God about it all the time, but there was a reason why it didn't happen in my 20s and 30s, and it happened in my late 40s. Okay. So, and obviously, yeah, I it was later, but at least there was always a reason. I just you can't figure it out. Yeah, I didn't figure it out until later.

SPEAKER_00 4:46

Yeah. But you've always had that desire. Yes. Okay. Um, now I know you and I met earlier, and you said um, obviously, as a single woman, speaking to these adoption agencies, um, there was a lot of pushback. Can you walk me through that journey and what it looked like?

SPEAKER_01 5:03

Yeah. So at one point I'm like, okay, so I'm not gonna get married and have a traditional family. So what am I gonna do? So I started pursuing adoption. I never really felt the need that I had to have my own baby. I always just love kids. So I always it never dawned on me like not to do this. Right. And that I couldn't do this until seven agencies rejected me because I was single. Okay. I was shocked. Yeah. I mean, I just couldn't believe it because I was older, I was stable, I would I had a great career and a great job. I had great credit, great finances, great houses. I mean, everything was so in line. So I was really shocked. And I remember off the record, someone said to me, It's because you're single, they want the white picket fence with the house and the family. And and I remember thinking to myself, you know, the divorce rate is so high. I said, and look what those children go through. So it always shocked me, but it was a reality that I had to face and deal with.

SPEAKER_00 6:13

And it was devastating, actually. You said someone off the record told you it was because you were single. What did those agencies give you any indication? They just it was just declined with no reason.

SPEAKER_01 6:26

Six of them. And then um off the record, one of them said, and I'm like, Can you just tell me anything? Because I have great credit, I have a great house. Like my home study, you know, it's gonna be amazing. Right. And then off the record they said it's because you're single.

SPEAKER_00 6:39

And I think you even told me that you had been saving for this, like all these years of wanting a child. So I had a baby fund or a boat fund.

SPEAKER_01 6:50

Okay. Thank goodness it was the baby that worked out. But yeah, I've been saving for years. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 6:56

I started, I think, at like 27. Wow. Okay. So that had to be heartbreaking then. You have to be told. Did you ever get to a point where you thought, I don't know if this is gonna happen? Many times. Okay.

SPEAKER_01 7:08

But I'm the type of person that I always talked myself up. I'm like, all right, you cannot give up. I never gave up with my career. I never gave up with my friends or my family or anything that meant something to me. And I knew I it was just a dream, and I knew I had to fight for it. And every time I they said no to me, I just bought harder and thank goodness I was born like this, just a fighter. Um I I was devastated. Yeah, but I'm like, all right, you can't tell me no. Like, there's no reason that that doesn't make sense to me. We have to change this. So you kept fighting.

SPEAKER_00 7:41

Kept fighting. How do you keep fighting when they keep telling you no? Like, how do you find another option?

SPEAKER_01 7:48

I just called other agencies. I did so much research and I went through a doctor to maybe do in vitro as well. Okay. And that was a hard thing. It was a hard appointment. And, you know, I understand people don't really get why single people want families or kids. Maybe they the doctor was a little confused. He kept on saying, You and your husband, you and your husband. And I'm like, Oh, I'm not married, I don't have a husband. But he knew. I don't know if he was just programmed on what he was saying, maybe, because I he knew I I thought, but he kept on saying it like over and over and over.

SPEAKER_02 8:26

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 8:26

And so I just remember going to my car and I'm like, okay, I don't break down that much, but I kind of broke down and I was crying, and I'm like, you know what? Plus, I was older and I traveled for work. And so I'm like, okay, you know, maybe this isn't the route I should go. So let's go back to adoption. Let's go back to pursuing other agencies. And I did, I mean, I went through agency and agency and agency. I even did some classes to adopt, and so I I went a lot of routes.

SPEAKER_00 8:56

What do you mean by classes?

SPEAKER_01 8:58

So when you adopt through the state, you need to take some classes. Okay. My adoption was private, the one that with Hudson, but I did try to go through all other places. Okay.

SPEAKER_00 9:08

So, but that didn't work out either. Okay. I think you said seven agencies. How long was this time period?

SPEAKER_01 9:14

So I probably I I adopted Hudson at 49 and I started really pursuing pr, you know, probably at 39 or 40 years old. Okay. Yeah. Because I knew I was again very career focused, which if I could take things back, I probably would have started a lot earlier. But you were meant for it. Exactly.

SPEAKER_00 9:35

Exactly. Do you think looking back now that waiting season was preparing you for where you're at now?

SPEAKER_01 9:43

For sure. I think me being older, I'm a better mom. I'm um more established. I know what's important. You know, back in my 20s and 30s, I didn't. Um so I was I'm very much more focused and I know what's crucial in life now and what's really important. Yes. So I think it was meant to be only just because I'm just so much more prepared and so much ready. And really nothing gets me to a point of like losing my mind at all. Yeah. It's good.

SPEAKER_00 10:16

Yes, exactly. Good. Okay, so obviously you adopted. How did you get there?

SPEAKER_01 10:24

So there was an agency called Lifelong Adoptions that work with non-traditional families.

SPEAKER_00 10:30

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 10:30

And I found them online and I called him Mark. Mm-hmm. And he picked up and we had a great conversation, and it was amazing. He was like, Yeah, we deal with single people, we deal with non-traditional, we deal with traditional, we think everything, everyone and everyone that wants to be a parent or deserves to be a parent. And, you know, so let's start the process. We talked for hours actually. We went through the process, you know, you have to go through a lot for adoption and home studies and fingerprints and background checks and just everything. Yeah. It was a 24-month contract. Wow. And I just put myself into work and they helped me with the marketing part basically. So to present to expected mothers. Okay. And it's all about me and pictures and my life and my what I do and my dog. And then I did a video explaining, you know, kind of so they can get an idea of who I was. I remember people were like, Are you going to edit it? Because I probably played with my hair. I'm my custom in it. And I played with my dog. And they're like, Are you going to edit the video? And I'm like, Edit. I'm like, I'm not going to edit. It's who I am. Like, it's me. I can't edit who I am. And it it was funny because I got picked three times. And every one of those expected mothers said it was because of my video because they could see the love I had and how genuine I was. Yeah, and you were authentic. And I was me. So um, so that was pretty incredible. As I mentioned before, I got picked twice before I got my son. And I think because I was older, it was never about me up until I got that baby. So it never brought me to my knees. I was upset. Yeah, I was sad. Yeah. But it never brought me to my knees because it's what these mothers needed. Right. And that was so much more important to me. I think because of I'm older and wiser.

SPEAKER_00 12:33

Um, so I feel like you'd have that wisdom even if you were younger. Just seems like who you are.

SPEAKER_01 12:38

I think I would have been a little, yeah, probably.

SPEAKER_00 12:41

But I think I mean I didn't know younger than you, but it's true.

SPEAKER_01 12:44

I think I've been a little more upset. And maybe it would have I wouldn't have gotten back on my feet fast and like been like, all right, it's not it, we're gonna keep on going, keep on going. I finally got a phone call. I was in New York City, okay, doing some business, selling some shoes, and sorry, I don't mean to interrupt you.

SPEAKER_00 13:04

I obviously this is like a key part of the story, but you mentioned it was a 24-month contract. Yes. So can you explain that? Because I know when we met earlier, you were nearing the end of the 20th century. So I got 13 months. I want to make it known like how important it was that you got this call when you did.

SPEAKER_01 13:21

Yes. So it's a 24-month program and or month contract, and then you have to start over. I couldn't start over financially adoption. You know, it's I've been saving for years. So I was prepared, but a lot of people, I can imagine, aren't prepared for the cost because you have to get some lawyers and the adoption fee and the travel, it all adds up. Yeah. It was at my 18th month point, and I remember I was getting ready to go to a trip to New York to work. And I called Mark and I'm like, all right, what should I do? Because I I have gotten picked, which is so great, but you know, something happens or it just didn't work out with these two expected moms, and I am getting nervous and getting scared because I can't do this again in a couple, you know, when it's over. And he's like, Let's figure out some things when you get back. Just go have a good trip and let's just chat when you get back. So I left and it happened that next week. Wow. I know it's crazy, right?

SPEAKER_00 14:25

So crazy. Yeah. So close, too. Yeah, so close.

SPEAKER_01 14:29

Okay, so walk me through that phone call then. Okay, so I was in New York. My voice is already cracking.

SPEAKER_00 14:36

I mean, it's we both know today is a very special day. Yeah. So I don't blame you.

SPEAKER_01 14:44

I know, right? Um, so I was working and I was landing in New York and my phone was blowing up from the adoption agency. And I'm like, oh gosh. So obviously I pick it up, and they're like, there was a mother who delivered in Georgia. And she picked you, and the baby is in another hospital in the NICU. I I'm not sure. I sorry, I think she said she's looking at your profile and she's looking at all your things. I we just wanted to give you a heads up. I said, okay. I said that's exciting. And I hung up. And for some reason, I think because I got picked twice before, my mind blocked it a little bit. Right. I didn't put two and two together. I was just getting ready for this big meeting, and I was always really focused when I worked. So I just got off the airplane and got ready for my meeting and not thinking much of it. Not thinking much of it for some reason. And then, you know, they called me again and they're like, you know, she really likes you. She's comes from a single mom and she really admires that you're doing this. And I'm like, okay. And so it was kind of like, wow, could this happen? And um, I'm like, give her my information, give me my phone number. They couldn't tell me too much about the baby because of HIPAA. Okay. But I knew it was a boy, and I knew he was in the NICU, and I knew that he was born on the 2nd. Okay. And this was a few days after that. So I remember at like 12 30 a.m. I get a text message on my phone and it just said, um, it just can you please promise me that you can keep him loved and safe. And I look at it, and at that point, you know, promises to me were really I didn't really promise that much because I never wanted to not be able to keep that. Right. But I jumped up and I said, I this is one promise that I know that I can do a million percent. I don't promise very often because you know, sometimes it's hard to keep promises. I said, But this one, this is this is golden. I can definitely do this. I said, always loved and safe. The next day I get into my meeting, I'm kind of talking to my buyer that this might be happening, and she's like, What are you doing here? Um, I it was like, I you know, it could happen. So I get through everything. I call my sister, I call my best friend, and they were like, Oh, you know, just couldn't believe it. But again, this did happen twice before, so I think my brain was blocking me.

SPEAKER_02 17:35

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 17:35

And then um I remember I go home and I landed. The agency was calling me again, and they're like, he's being discharged on um Friday, March 10th at 4 30. You need to be here. By then she did pick you, she actually left the hospital. So if you don't get him tomorrow, basically at 4 30, he will go to the city. Wow. What do you do in that moment? I know. And I was driving home and so I pulled over and I was hysterical. Yeah. I'm like, oh my gosh, like I literally have 24 hours to do this. But then something took over me. He has no one. He's been in the Nikki and he has no one. I didn't know about an organization called the Cuddlers. So I just imagine this baby by himself, like for eight days, uh sick and with no one. And I'm like, oh my gosh, what are you doing? So I call back and I'm like, I'm I'm gonna be there. I'm like, I'll be there. I kept on kind of asking throughout, you know, can you tell me anything? They're like, no, hippa, please they're hippa- I can't tell you anything. So I'm like, okay. So I go home, I just got a puppy in December of that before. So I had to just arrange everything. Yeah, I remember just putting my clothes in the washer, and like there was some clothes in the dryer, and I just dumped it in the suitcase. I didn't even know what I packed. For some reason, I thought I was just he was in Georgia actually. I was just gonna go to Georgia, get him, and then come home. Like, it was gonna be so easy. And then I had to kind of prepare. I called my sister and I said, We're gonna go to Georgia um this weekend. So just I'm booking flights, book, you know, we we need to go. And she's like, Why are we going to Georgia? Or I think we hung up the phone or something, and she's like, Okay. And then she called back, she's like, Wait, why what? And I'm like, We're picking up my son and your nephew. And she we were just like, I it just was so fast and intense. Yeah. Of course, the next day, which was the 10th, it's so crazy too, because I told you, like, whenever you travel, like the flights are usually late, or you can't get the rent a car, you out, or you know, especially so last minute. Yeah, so last minute. And I had to get a lawyer in Georgia, and then of course the agency helped me, they guided me through. I had a fantastic lawyer in Texas they told me about, and a fantastic lawyer in Georgia. But while having to get there by a certain time, yeah, by 4 30. Wow. It was just crazy because everything like the flights were on time, my sister got there on time, I got there in time. We got a car seat in the rent a car, which was a beautiful rent a car. I remember on Thursday I had to arrange a place to stay. And near where the hospital was, there was a lot of um not hotels but motels. And again, this was a newborn, so I'm like, I can't bring um a newborn in that environment. So I'm I remember like looking at Airbnbs, and there was this beautiful house that was about 40 minutes out and it said no kids. And I emailed and I'm like, tell them the situation, and she was just unbelievably amazing. And she's like, Tom, my the groundskeeper is gonna meet you at the Walmart by the house because it's gonna be dark and it's gonna be hard for you to find. And she was just unbelievable.

SPEAKER_00 21:07

Everything was just so surreal, like all lined up, yes, confirming that it was meant to happen.

SPEAKER_01 21:13

I know it was but that never happened. Yeah never happened, at least to me, you know.

SPEAKER_00 21:20

So that's beautiful.

SPEAKER_01 21:21

Okay, so you get there, what happens next? I get there and um they they put us in scrubs and is your sister with you? Yeah, my sister's with me. We meet at the airport and we get there and had you gone to the house yet, or you just went straight.

SPEAKER_00 21:36

Straight to the hospital.

SPEAKER_01 21:37

Yeah, because we didn't have time. Right. So we went straight to the hospital. And I remember my mom was always a big elephant person, trunk sub. She loved elephants, and she passed away. And I remember the first thing we saw when we went into the Nick Uh was an elephant above his crib. And I was like, Oh, that's so crazy. Because I haven't seen that many signs. Right. And so that Was a pretty big sign, and they handed him and they put me in a rocking chair and they were introducing there was charge nurse and nurses, and then I cut I saw all these doctors and nurses and people come there, and she was just like they love him so much. There was uh organization called the Cuddlers, and they were with him all the time. The nurses all loved him, the doctors like they just all fell in love with him. Yeah, and so there were so many people to say goodbye to him. I know it was crazy, and then the nurse um so we I sat in a rocking chair and they put it in my arms, and it was be a lot of things that I was reading about adoption too, it was because you can't breastfeed and you know you don't have enough tummy time and stuff like that. So it was a little hard for the babies to you know cla form to you or like to bond with you. I am telling you, Calce, the minute that they put Hudson in my arms, you could see his shoulders just drop. It was like magical made for you. I know it was so magical. And I remember the nurse was like, Did we just see that? It was crazy. I was hysterical. My sister was hysterical. Then doctors and the nurses like we're hysterical and um and I know you have a photo of that too, right?

SPEAKER_00 23:18

Yeah, I'll for anyone listening. I'll I'll make sure to post that so they can see how beautiful.

SPEAKER_01 23:25

I it's so funny because I always I always post it on the 10th because it was and everybody knows now. Like they're like, oh, this is the day.

SPEAKER_00 23:34

So beautiful. Thank you for listening to part one of this conversation. Next week we'll continue the story in part two. Here's a preview of what's to come.

SPEAKER_01 23:45

This is a love that I never experienced in my whole life, and how it just reinforced everything that I've lived for. Um he brings just so much joy and laughter and unconditional everything.

SPEAKER_00 24:08

Yeah. That's it for this episode of Unspoken Lives. If today's story moved you, inspired you, or made you reflect on your own journey, hit that subscribe button so you don't miss the next powerful conversation. I'm always on the lookout for new guests. If you know someone with a story that deserves to be shared, I'd love to hear from you. Check the show notes for contact details and make sure to follow along on social media at Unspoken Lives Podcast. Until next time, keep listening, keep sharing, and remember, every life has a story worth telling.