Ep 029: Malaysia Harrell: The Near-Death Experience That Changed Everything, Part 1

Malaysia Harrell is a Board-Certified Psychotherapist, Spiritual Transformation Coach, Author of God Has My Six, Award-Winning Entrepreneur, Founder of the Align Success Academy, and Founder and President of the Malaysia Harrell Foundation.

In Part 1 of this conversation, Malaysia shares the experiences that shaped her journey, including childhood adversity, military service, and the near-death medical experience that completely changed the way she viewed success, purpose, faith, and healing.

She reflects on the pressure many people feel to keep pushing forward while carrying challenges privately, and how her life experiences ultimately led her toward a deeper sense of alignment and purpose.

Malaysia also shares what it was like serving during the height of COVID as the lead mental health provider in the Navajo Nation before later facing the medical crisis that became a major turning point in her life.

This episode explores:
• Redefining success and purpose
• Healing through faith and surrender
• Spiritual growth and intuition
• Resilience through difficult seasons
• The importance of alignment and authenticity
• Finding meaning through life’s challenges

Every life has a story worth telling. Follow Unspoken Lives Podcast on your favorite podcast app and join the conversation. Visit unspokenlivespodcast.com and follow @unspokenlivespodcast on Instagram. 

Transcript

SPEAKER_04 0:05

Welcome to Unspoken Lives, the podcast that uncovers the powerful, untold stories of everyday people. The real stories you don't always hear, but ones that deserve to be told. I'm your host, Kelsey Billingsley. In each episode, we'll explore journeys of growth, resilience, and transformation. Conversations with guests who have faced challenges, embraced change, and discovered new purpose along the way. Through their stories, you'll find inspiration, hope, and a reminder that every life has a story worth telling. Let's dive into this next unspoken life. Today I'm joined by Malaysia Harrell. Malaysia is a Boris certified psychotherapist, spiritual transformation coach, author of God Has My Six, award-winning entrepreneur, founder of the Aligned Success Academy, and founder and president of the Malaysia Hurrell Foundation. And what stood out to me as I learned more about her story is that while she's accomplished so much as I already shared, there's a much deeper journey behind it. One that includes resilience, faith, and ultimately stepping into her purpose. Malaysia, I'm so grateful that you're here and willing to share your story with me. So first off, just thank you for being willing to do this.

SPEAKER_01 1:28

Thank you so much, Kelsey.

SPEAKER_04 1:31

Of course. I'd love if we could just start with who you are today and what life looks like before we dig into everything else.

SPEAKER_01 1:41

Very interesting question. I feel like there's still to be determined, you know. Um, I talk about the art of becoming a lot. But thank you again for this opportunity to just be on your platform. I think this is amazing. Elevating women in their stories is so, so, so important. And it's especially, you know, just um amazing for women's history month and celebration. But who I am today is a, you know, someone who experienced a lot in order to help other people overcome. You know how you think, oh, I've been doing everything, right? I've, you know, been on the biggest stages in the world, worked for the Surgeon General of the United States, worked with the Congress on a lot of things when I was active duty, veteran, wife, daughter, you know, everything, sister. Everything. But I'm someone who has a different outlook on what success is and what life is. Because it's not until you have a near-death experience or something like that, which I had, you think that you know, you think that you have it. You think that I know what success is and I'm going for those things. And it's not until you have those pivotal moments when you realize none of that stuff matters. No one even cares how much money you made when you think about the greats, right? And they're not here anymore. Who cares? Right? It's it's nice to look at, but it's like, what is the impact, the true impact that you made on the world? I think that's the important key to look at. Beautiful. And so your materialistic things don't mean anything when it comes to that.

SPEAKER_04 3:33

Before you had that mindset, what did success look like for you then?

SPEAKER_01 3:37

So, success was, you know, being someone who overcame, you know, living in trauma, living in impoverished areas as a child, right? So my definition was okay, I made it because number one, I'm successful. I have titles, I have money, I have financial means, and I'm making an impact in the world, I'm serving my country. But also I had learned at a very young age that when you are what society deems as successful, that you get all the accolades. And because I came up in so much trauma, I thought accolades were, you know, were my form of love. Right. Right? That recognition. And again, none of that means anything. Later on, you know, it's the true impact. Of course, I had a lot of impact, but was I doing it for the accolades or was I doing it because I truly, you know, wanted to give back? I think it was a little bit of both, but still there was that element of, hey, look at me. I'm, you know, helping as well.

SPEAKER_04 4:48

Yeah, that makes sense. If you're open to it, I you mentioned trauma. I don't know if it was childhood or just early. Yeah, childhood.

SPEAKER_01 4:56

Well, my whole life, but um, yeah, childhood is when it began.

SPEAKER_04 5:01

Okay. Are you open to sharing any of that?

SPEAKER_01 5:04

Sure. So um, you know, I came up in a household where I was the oldest of three girls, and my mom, you know, being a single mom of three girls, and especially with no means, like that was very challenging for her. Right. And of course I know that now, but as a child, going through the things that I went through, a lot of emotional, a lot of physical and sexual trauma, you know, um, which a lot of people experience, and thank you for saying that. Which a lot of people experience, you know, in their youth. But, you know, my question is for people who have gone through those things, what is the outcome of that as far as the impact in your give back to the world? Because you overcame that. Maybe you're still struggling through some of it, but there are people who didn't make it through. And so for those who are able to identify with those experiences, you know, what have you done to inspire others to overcome and do the same?

SPEAKER_04 6:15

Yeah, that's a beautiful way of looking at it. Obviously, you have a great perspective now, but you mentioned a near-death experience. Did it take that for you to have this perspective, or have you always had that mindset?

SPEAKER_01 6:26

Well, it's interesting that you ask that, Kelsey, because you know how something happens and you hit rock bottom, but there were all these you look at it later, but there were all these signs. Right. You know what I mean? Like all these things. Okay, I see it now. Spirituality, right, right. I'm gonna keep banging my head up against this wall, you know, and I'm gonna force my way because I know that success is determined by me. I can control that. I can't control all the things that happen to me. I can't control all, you know, the way the world runs, but I can control being successful, I could control being able to be of service. I always been of service since I was a little girl. But it's not until that thing happens, which was the near-death experience in 2020. I came back from deployment. This was the height of COVID. I had deployed to the most desolate area in the Navajo Nation. And of course, that was most one of the most red zones in the world at the time. The death per capita was very high. And getting there, I feel like that was the beginning of like this spiritual kind of experience. And I can't really explain it, but I will say that I mean, it was definitely traumatic being there, listening to the stories. It wasn't exactly safe either, in some ways. So all these things were going through my mind. And number one, I'm wondering, okay, am I gonna live because of COVID? Like if you know, you didn't know who had it. Yeah, so many people were dying every day. So it was like, okay, you know, am I gonna get that or am I gonna be harmed by someone there or the dogs that are running around? You know, there were so many different things, and then hearing the stories, you know, you think, oh, I'm educated, I learned about some of this stuff. But until you hear the stories of people, and then I had this awakening, and it was like, Am I really serving? You know what I mean? Like this question just really was so profound to me. Because I again, I'm I've been doing this for almost 20 years. You know, I'm wearing a uniform, I'm a captive slash colonel, you know, I'm doing this. I worked at the high the highest levels of government. And I'm just there's people here that don't have running water in their homes. And then you're sending me out here, and people are, you know, like, hey, can you take this back to DC? Can you tell people? And I'm like, I'm not really the big person, you know, and what what really can I do for people who have endured so much resilience? Yeah, you know, and I'm the lead mental health provider, not only for the the staff of two medical centers, but for the incident command response team. Oh wow. What am I gonna tell you? You know what I mean? You just start to like you that was the question in my head was am I really serving? Yeah, you know, so was that your role there? Yes. Whenever okay, okay. That was my role, yeah. So they sent me, I was the only mental health provider. They sent me by myself, you know, and and again, like even knowing that, right? Somebody else thinking of everything, it was like it was a desolate area too. So it wasn't like one of the reservations where they had stuff around. Like, in order to even get stuff that I needed, it was like a three-hour situation going to Walmart, right? Yeah, and then you're exhausted, and then you're on lockdown because it's during COVID. It was so much, you know. Thinking back now, I feel like number one, that was probably one of the most traumatic experiences, but it was also an experience that started my deliverance.

SPEAKER_04 10:24

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 10:24

You know, I was in my PhD for mind body medicine. I had already, you know, started looking at things on a spiritual level. I I know I have spiritual gifts that I've had from a child, but I didn't understand it until that started the process. And then after I came home, I was in extreme pain. And I thought that, oh, I've been exercising too much, you know, because what does a mental health provider do that has experienced trauma? I exercise. I tell I do what I tell my clients to do. And so I thought, oh, I must have been on my Peloton bike too, you know, I did it two times that day. Uh-huh. And again, there were many spiritual things that happened, but you don't think about it until later. Okay. So before I was hospitalized, before, you know, it was extreme death pain, it was unlivable pain. And my grandmother, who raised me, because I was, you know, removed from my mother's home at a certain point. Okay. And she came to me in my dream. And she came and she told me that it was time for me to go with her. I had a sense of calm. I was like, cool. I did everything. You know what I mean? Like I had a in the dream or when you woke up? It's a lot of stress. You know, I'm happy, I have a marriage, but if it's my time and I get to be with my grandmother, like I just had a sense of calm. Right. I didn't mention it to anyone. And then several weeks later, I was having this extreme pain. But what does a mental health provider who've been through a lot or do? I try to take care of myself. Avil, okay, tiger bomb. I did karate, I did bodybuilding, I did races all over the world. I know what to do. And it wasn't until one of my girlfriends, she's a PA, she was like, Malaysia, I think you're gonna overdose on the medication. I think you need to go in. Right. So I went in a couple times, and you know, the ambulance picked me up. They brought me to some small little medical center, they gave me morphine, took an x-ray, you're fine, go home. So if you tell if the medical providers tell me I'm fine, I've never been hospitalized. You know, I'm getting through this. Yeah. So it was, I remember the one day, and my husband's like, you know, I couldn't move. I'm screaming. I'm at the I'm in, I'm at the the brink of death.

SPEAKER_03 12:45

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 12:46

And my husband's like, no, we need to go to the military hospital. And I'm like, but I can't get down the stairs. He's like, I'm gonna carry you. I'm screaming at the top of my lungs in pain. I thought the neighbors would hear and call the police, right? So we get to the hospital. Finally, I asked for, you know, we're asking for help. I don't, that's something I didn't typically do. And I'm hospitalized. They send me to Walter Reed Medical Center. Finally, I'm there for four days. They have, I mean, it's a training medical center, right? They take care of the president of the United States. So they're asking me, can these residents come in? And I'm like, yes, because number one, I was a resident when I started in the military and as a mental health provider. And I'm like, maybe sometimes it's somebody new that has a new perspective that might know what's wrong with me. Right. So four days in, they come in, Captain Harrell, we can't find anything. We're sending you home today. Now, I was at the brink of the pain medication did not even work. I was on dilotic. I'm pressing a button for you know, they're oh, it's not time yet. I mean, you imagine taking these meds and still being in extreme pain while you're in the meds, while you're under the medication. All over your body? Just in the middle of the state. No, it was just in my left hip. Okay, left hip. It was extreme pain, but it takes over your whole body. Yeah, right. Like it was so unbearable. Right. And so I said, Well, you could euthanize me because I ain't going, I'm not going home. You wouldn't be able to deal with this pain. And at that moment, I knew I couldn't be a patient either. So again, the mask, right? I'm a provider. I'm I'm talking to you on a provider level because you're kind of saying that you think this is a somatic symptom. I might be imagining this. So I said, bring in the psychiatrist. I was like, oh, if this is a somatic symptom, okay, bring them in. Let's figure it out. So, anyways, I had to advocate, like most of us do, you know, and and of course, I've heard from a lot of women after this. So, not just women of color, but women of all shades, creeds, cultures, religions, who told me similar things. Women are not believed when they go to the hospital. And so um, I had sepsis. Oh my gosh. And I knew I if they brought me on the med the mental health side, although I'm a mental health provider, that I would have died in days. Yeah, I would have died in days. So it's not in your mind. No, wow, no, I I I I still was like, oh, you know, I'm still oblivious. I know it, and at some of the point, you're like, well, if it's my time to go, it's my time too. You know what I mean? Like, if it's my time, it's my time. And so I was making amends with God. I thought it was time, and I was making amends with God. I was, you know, sending texts to my family and friends. I didn't say anything, but I just knew that okay, if I go, then it's my time. And and I've you know reached out to the loved ones. And I remember one of my girlfriends who she was deployed at the time, and I still have the messages, and she ended up coming home and having a terminal illness, and she passed in 2022. So I had a lot of survivors' guilt. Thank you. I had a lot of survivor's guilt around that because it was like, why did you take her and not me kind of thing. You know, I thought maybe her presence, you know, was needed more than mine. Like I had all these thoughts in my head. So just trying to reconcile, and then of course, doing my dissertation and my PhD, you know, and trying to step out of that and really look at it from a research, you know, scholar perspective, I think has really changed the game. But also just being in alignment and walking in my calling, that's what has really helped me heal, to be honest with you. Everybody asks me, what's the first thing I need to do? I know I need to transform. I already had those spiritual nudges to tell me I need to do something different. It is practicing the art of surrender. That is the answer. Period. When you surrender and you do what you're called to do, now when I don't do what I'm called to do, or I start to kind of do be all over the place, I struggle. The pain, the headaches, everything. My hair fell out. I had Bell's palsy. I was 254 pounds. Okay. Developed sarcadosis. They thought I had cancer. I was on oral chemo, prednisone.

SPEAKER_04 17:20

So when I tell you, how long was this process?

SPEAKER_01 17:24

Uh, five years. Oh my gosh. So from 2020 to 2025. I retired in 20, this is 2026. I retired in 2024. So I even had some surgeries around that time as well. So I would say, I mean, and it's not like, oh, it's over. You know, I still have challenges. You know, I don't like to use labels, of course. I believe life and death is in the power of the tongue. So you have to be very careful what you say.

SPEAKER_02 17:54

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 17:55

But you have to also know what it is and know what to do and get that spiritual guidance, be educated, get information. I'm 173 today. I couldn't work out. I had two hip replacements. I've been in extreme pain. But God called me to fast. And I started learning about fasting. I learned it more about spirituality. And that's what my dissertation is on. Yeah. Healing through faith. So there's so much to that. You know, some people believe in different things. And but what I would say is spirituality is not necessarily religion because the women that I coach now becoming a spiritual transformation coach, a lot of people have traumas surrounding religion and experiences that they've had. And so I'm saying, no, spirituality is your connection with God, your connection with the divine. That's very different than going through someone else. Now, do I believe that there is a collective when it comes to spirituality? Absolutely. Right? We're connecting, we're all connected. We all have this energy. And so when we all pray as a collective group that magnifies, you know, we all touch and agree, right? That magnifies whatever it is that you're calling for. So yes, but there's levels to spirituality. So I just had to really learn what life was, I guess. Yeah. And so I'm just blessed that that I have the opportunity to be here, the opportunity to be talking to you today. I don't do this because I didn't necessarily want to, right? I'd rather be just be on a beach and you know. Same reading. So listen to audiobooks all day, you know. But it's something that, you know, when I had that moment in the darkness, you know, when it when the rubber met the road, and when it was a situation where it's like a life or death, like I'm not living like this. Yeah. And God, what do you need me to do if you save my life? I will be obedient to what you're asking me to do. That is what this is.

SPEAKER_04 20:03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 20:04

So that's why I'm here. Otherwise, I don't have to do any of this.

SPEAKER_04 20:08

So let me ask you, because I I feel like everyone hears God's voice differently. You saying, you know, I'm here to do whatever you have me to do. How do you know? How do you know what you're called to do, what your purpose is? Like, how do you hear that?

SPEAKER_01 20:23

When you embody God, so people think that God is separate from you and God is in the sky and you're gonna go to heaven. But we, you know, just learning more about it, we're made in the image and likeness of God. When you feel your most highest version of yourself, what are you doing when you feel it? Right? So that's when I'm embodying. So it's funny when I have these talks, I don't remember anything that I said. And I go back and I listen to them and I'm like, or or I'm on stage, right? I just had a TED talk in the Netherlands. I don't remember what I said. When I listen to it later, right? I pray over everything that I do, I'm like, oh my goodness, that's profound. Like, I mean, it wasn't from me. I don't feel like it was me, like, you know, like oh, Malaysia's doing it. I don't. That is when I'm embodying my Christ-like consciousness, right? And that's why we have, I believe we have so many suicides, is because not just in the veteran population, is because you feel so disconnected from God. Like I've been abandoned, all this stuff has happened to me. I've witnessed the most tremendous things that you could witness, right? A lot of people have experienced that.

SPEAKER_02 21:45

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 21:46

And a lot of people, even my mental health clients, have told me I feel disconnected. My friend before she passed, she told me that. Like, not right before, but like when she, you know, I remember saying to her one day, Oh, I'm gonna. Pray for you, and she's like, Well, hold on, you know, I have some questions for God, and that is reality. But when you realize I was made in the image and likeness of God, it says that it's written in the text, yeah. Right? So sometimes you might, you know how they say you might encounter an angel, you never know when you're entertaining an angel. Yeah, you may experience God through me, and I may experience God through you. So imagine you had your worst day you've ever had, and someone who you don't know who doesn't know you from a can of paint, they don't know you at all. They come up and say something to you that God sent them to say. How does that work? Yeah, you know what I mean? It's not it doesn't have to, we don't have to get so mystical and woo-woo on this. This is what it is, this is reality. You ever had that day where you you didn't have a dollar in your pocket and you didn't know how you were gonna eat, you didn't know how you were gonna get gas, and you get a check out of the mail, right? There's so many things, stories of people that can tell you I didn't know how I was gonna do this, or or someone who needed that transplant, and they weren't supposed to be on the list, but something happened. That's how you know, and it's a feeling of you'll know when you know, it's a feeling of calmness, and it's a feeling of peace, and it's a feeling of an elevated state. Things have happened to me, and I call myself the manifestation queen, but things have happened to me in my life on a flip side that I can only say were by the grace of God and miracles that have happened in my life. Being on the Ellen show, working for the Surgeon General of the United States, working at the top levels of government, right? Meeting my husband, getting our house, all divine stories. So when I didn't want to retire, because I'm like, no, I want to make admiral again. I worked. When I tell you I worked, I was forcing it. I worked so hard. Yeah. Instead of flowing, I was never in a flow state. I was always on fight or flight, right? I need to make it, I don't want to be poor. Um, you know, and then you attract what you're trying to repel. Whatever you're repelling is what you ret attract, right? And so when you just allow it to flow, three weeks after I retired, I'm meeting with Howard Schultz at the table, the founder of Starbucks, the billionaire. How is that? How'd that happen? It's like, how is that, right? Yeah, you know, your story is written, and I believe there's different levels to it. You could choose to go to take the blue pill or the red pill. You know what I mean? So you think, oh, it's written and this bad stuff that's happened to me. No, you have the ability to change those things, so you are given the tools spiritually to make decisions.

SPEAKER_04 25:01

Yeah. I was just gonna say, what would you say to somebody who's in that dark spot right now, thinking, you know, just life is awful, and you know, just in the horrible spot, what would you say to them if they were in front of you right now?

SPEAKER_01 25:16

And I'm glad you asked this question because so many people are. Many of us have been there. And so, again, the art of surrender, you don't have to fight anymore. You've been fighting so long. You don't have to fight. If you sit back and listen and, you know, do your prayer, do your writing, your scripting, whatever you do, reading scriptures. So, what I'll I'll tell you where I started was you know, I started doing research, I guess, on things. And so it was like, how can I heal? I know this medication is making me worse. You know, I'm gonna die off the medication alone, right? It was over a series of all that time. What tools are available to me to help out with this process? And I want to do that in a spiritual way. So started watching the movie Heal. Okay, that's how I got introduced to Dr. Joe Dispenza, to the medical medium. So there were these other things that, you know, and then listening to people who cured themselves from cancer without taking chemo. How do you do that? Listening to the audiobook several times by Anita Mongiurney, Dr. Wayne Dyer found her because he heard her story and they wanted to make sure that Hey House, they published her book. I don't know if it was published through Hay Out, but they wanted to make sure that her book was published.

SPEAKER_04 26:45

That it happened, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 26:47

Somebody who goes in the hospital who has this experience gets diagnosed with cancer and leaves within two weeks with no cancer. Wait a minute. If that could happen to her, could that happen to me if I believe it? It's my belief that creates my reality. And then at the same time, when I was in the hospital and I have all these grim diagnoses, I don't believe I'm a patient because I have my stylist bringing clothes to my husband so that I could I look like this. I didn't have makeup on, but I put my unit on. Okay. I had my clothes on. You wouldn't have known I was in a hospital unless I told you. I imagined what I would be doing while I was in the hospital. My husband came and played Uno with me. We might be playing Uno at home. He's still beating me, not letting me win. You know what I mean? That's what we would be doing at home. And so imagine in your mind, just start here. Forget all the whatever is in front of you in your mind, and you believe that, that's your reality.

SPEAKER_04 27:57

Thank you for listening to part one of this conversation. Next week, we'll continue the story in part two. Here's a preview of what's to come.

SPEAKER_01 28:05

I first wrote the book because I was angry. I felt an injustice because I lost my career. You know, you tried to kill me. You tried to send me home to die. Like I was angry. I served my country all these years. And when I asked for help the one time, the first time I'm hospitalized, you try to send me home. You sent in mental health providers. And God said, no, your story wasn't for you. And you cannot put that book out like that. I'm getting emotional as I think about it.

SPEAKER_04 28:36

Oh, it's okay.

SPEAKER_01 28:37

So I had to rewrite the book.

SPEAKER_04 28:42

That's it for this episode of Unspoken Lives. If today's story moved you, inspired you, or made you reflect on your own journey, hit that subscribe button so you don't miss the next powerful conversation. I'm always on the lookout for new guests. If you know someone with a story that deserves to be shared, I'd love to hear from you. Check the show notes for contact details and make sure to follow along on social media at Unspoken Lives Podcast. Until next time, keep listening, keep sharing, and remember, every life has a story worth telling.