Ep 036: Lonni Asher: It Ends With Me - Breaking Generational Curses, Part 2

As a child, Lonni Asher survived war, piracy, abuse, and trauma.

But survival wasn't the end of her story.

In Part 2 of this conversation, Lonni shares what happened after the crisis was over. She opens up about the years of emotional pain she carried, the multiple suicide attempts that nearly ended her life, and the difficult journey from survival to healing.

She also shares the story of receiving a stage-four cervical cancer diagnosis, the prayers that followed, and the miraculous healing that forever deepened her faith.

As the conversation unfolds, Lonni explains why she believes generational pain doesn't have to define future generations and why one decision can change the course of a family's story.

This is a conversation about healing, faith, miracles, forgiveness, and choosing to say, "It starts with me. It ends with me."

In this episode:

• The difference between surviving and healing
• Growing up in an abusive home
• Multiple suicide attempts and finding hope
• Learning to trust God through pain and uncertainty
• A stage-four cervical cancer diagnosis and the healing that followed
• The power of forgiveness
• Breaking generational curses
• Why "it ends with me" became a defining decision
• Using her story to help others find freedom

About Lonni:

Lonni Asher is a pastor, author, speaker, and co-founder of Believe Church in Orange County, California. Through her ministry, writing, and personal testimony, she helps others find healing, freedom, and purpose through Christ.

Connect with Lonni:
Instagram: @living_the_life_with_lonni
YouTube: @lonniasher777
Believe Church: @believe.oc
Website: believeoc.com

Book:
Born With Intention

Every life has a story worth telling. Follow Unspoken Lives Podcast on your favorite podcast app and join the conversation. Visit unspokenlivespodcast.com and follow @unspokenlivespodcast on Instagram. 

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

You're tuning in to part two of this conversation. If you haven't heard part one yet, I encourage you to pause and start there first. Let's jump back in. Welcome to Unspoken Lives, the podcast that uncovers the powerful, untold stories of everyday people. The real stories you don't always hear, but ones that deserve to be told. I'm your host, Kelsey Billingsley. In each episode, we'll explore journeys of growth, resilience, and transformation. Conversations with guests who have faced challenges, embraced change, and discovered new purpose along the way. Through their stories, you'll find inspiration, hope, and a reminder that every life has a story worth telling. Let's dive into this next unspoken life.

SPEAKER_02 0:56

So I have to learn. But I'm striving every day because what the Lord always showed me is that He is holy. We worship a holy God. And we're going to stand before Him one day. And we're all going to stand before Him no matter what. He said, if I'm holy, you're going to stand before Holy God. So I want to be as holy as He is holy when I stand before Him. I don't want to carry any warms in me when I stand before the Holy God. So I'm striving every day and wanting to, and I think that was my mission. And I start seeing that I do have a purpose on this earth. I went through pain for a reason. I went through survival for a reason. It was to teach me and taught me so much more to how to become the person that I am and how I'm able to take those tools in my own life to help those around me. And now I have those tools. I see it's like a it's like a learning, it's like a class that God put you through it. And now I'm stepping out of it. I'm like, okay, I can help those that are going through trauma, those going through pain, those going through abuse, those going through suicidal thoughts. And when the more I encounter them, I'm able to feel their pain and understand and able to share with them exactly what they're going through. And they're like, wait, you don't understand? Yes, I do understand exactly what you're going through. And I see the goodness of God and how God have put me in a place not even imagining, you know? And that's the goodness of God.

SPEAKER_00 2:40

Yeah, that's beautiful. And obviously, I can see how you're you're using that. You say it a class. It was a very intensive class that you had to go through. Um, but you're using that. I know you're a pastor now, but you also wrote a book. So I'd love for you to talk about that and how all of your experience helped shape what you put into that book and what it's about.

SPEAKER_02 3:03

So for the longest time I carried the story that I have. I actually started out, I wanted my sister because she was an English major. And I always feel I was always been insecure and you know, afraid of what men would think. And I never even want to even dare to. So I would always say, Oh, why don't we like partner together and let's write this book, you know, about um she's the one that um survived from the uh she was the baby. So she's like really like good with like her words and everything. And I never seen myself like that. Um, so I tried with her maybe was 10 years ago. I was like, hey, let's let's start a book together. Yeah, and I started it. I started it, well, it was just it was just sitting there. So it was just I started, it's there, and it's just sitting there for years. And I believe that when I started the book, I didn't know I knew that I had some testimony that I want to share about my life. Yeah, um, but I didn't know the directions and stuff like that for the long time. And I carry the story, but I did not feel like I was ready to release because I feel there's so much fear still in me. Um, many people who live through trauma or painful season know what it feels like to stay silent, and that's me. Uh sometimes silence comes from fear, and sometimes silence comes from shame. Uh, sometimes silence comes from feeling like no one would understand, and sometimes from not fully realizing that your pain could become a medicine for someone else. Um, what led me to finally write the book and was um the realizations that um my story was never meant to end with me. God had brought me through too much survival, brokenness, um, identity, struggle, healing, cancers, restorations, and like transformations for it to remain hidden. And I began to understand that testimony is so powerful. It is not just about looking back at pain, is uh it's about giving others hope that healing is possible. I also felt that a burden for people who look fine on the outside but are silently suffering on the inside. And there are so many people carrying wounds, um, fear and confusions. And I've met so many people that have shame and rejections, and there was a cycle that they do not even know how to break it. And I wanted them to know that um they are not alone. I want them to know that Jesus still restores lives, and I want them to know that what happened to them does not have to define them. So writing a book was also an act of obedience. There comes a point where healing gives you back your voice, and then you must decide whether you will use it or not. So when I wrote Born with Intentions, I believe uh stories surrender to God uh can come bridges to freedom for other people, and that what made me decided to finish the book, and I believe God helped me through that is a little bit of my testimony, and I believe that will bring freedom to people and to many that feel there's no hope, and this is what I've been going through in life, you know, and there's no this is the end of my life, and it's not. And I I want their people out there that are broken, going through marriage, going divorce, you know. The pain is part of the story. I want them to understand that they do not have the final chapter. It is not done yet. Their life, their story is not done yet, you know, and I hope that they can understand that what they're living through, trauma, rejections, abuse, and whatever they're going through, their story is not over. Their story is not over. I also hope that you know what happened to them does not determine who they are. I want the readers to understand that what happened to their life and what they're going through, it didn't start with them. You know, and sometimes the enemies know the calling on a person's life. They tend to attack them so young to take the identity away. And that's why we lose our identity. We don't know who we are in him. I want to help people to see that true identity is in Christ. And many people, if they're able to build their identity in Christ, man, they're gonna become so much more powerful. And so that's why I believe that the books became in place. It's on Amazon now. So people perfect.

SPEAKER_00 7:59

I'll make sure to link to it. You mentioned something when you were talking about it, healing from cancer. And I feel like we just mentioned it briefly. Do you wanna dive into that a little more? Sure.

SPEAKER_02 8:09

I think it's gonna be four years this year now. So it was four years ago. I remember I uh went just an annual women test, a physical checkup. They saw some abnormal cells, and then they took it for biopsy, and they told me that it was a cervical cancer, it's a stage four, and they need to schedule me in right away and to remove everything down there. And during that time, I remember I was not in ministry yet. I was I thought my life goal was to be an amazing mom, uh, have more children and pop up more kids, and that's what I thought. But that was not, you know, and when they said we're gonna remove everything from you. And I was like, What do you mean? Like, I'm not allowed to have any more kids. You're not allowed to have any more kids once they removed your filovian tube, your cervix, and everything like that around there. So that was a horrible news for me. And I asked God, I said, God, like, why? I use the why a lot uh in my life. God, why? Why are you allowed? I didn't do anything. I'm a good person, God. Like, I didn't do anything to anybody. Why bad things always happen to me? And in that moment, I remember I was reading the Bible and I was holding on to um and Isaiah say, by his stripe, you were you. And I just hold on to that Bible verse. By his stripe, you're you. I didn't know what to do with it. I didn't know I was God say the word of God is his promise to us. And I believe that truly. I believe the word of God is what he has given to us, it's the way that he's speaking to us. It's all the words in here is what I've given to you. And when you're hopeless and there's nothing, and there's nothing around you that can give you hope, go back to my words because I'm not the God that would lie to you. I will never lie to you. That's not who I am, that's not my character. I will not lie to you no matter what, men will lie to you, but I will not lie because this is who I am, and my promises is yes and amen. And I believe that. But while you go through what you're going through, do you really believe it? I was on my knees and I was crying. And I say, God, by your stripe, you say, God, by your stripe, I'm you. They already scheduled me to go in on Monday for operation. And I told God, I say, God, you say by your stripe, I'm you. So I want evidence of my healing, God. I want evidence of it. I want true evidence that you are that father that loved me, that would never say forsake me or leave me, like you say in your words. And I believe, Lord God, that you already heal me, as even I'm saying right now. So your words, Lord God, is true. So when I go into operations on Monday, Lord God, when they're gonna open me up, I want you to cause some kind of confusion that was so confused that they would not even take me in for uh surgery. So I was scared, yeah, so scared. Monday morning came along at eight o'clock, they called my name, and right away the nurse was saying, I'm not the normal nurse, I'm someone else's nurse. And I'm like, What? What is she saying? I don't know what she's saying. I was so confused. And then she was taking all the blood pressure and urine tests and everything, and then she was asking, When was my last peer? And I was like, Oh, it was months ago because I have like an abnormal cycle, and she's like, Oh, you're pregnant. And I'm like, What? No, I'm not pregnant. And then my urine test shows right there that I'm negative. And she said, You know what? Sit here. I need to go talk to the doctor. She took off, I don't know, for 30 minutes. And I was just confused.

SPEAKER_01 12:52

Right.

SPEAKER_02 12:52

And then she came back and she called me and she said, Let's go back into the doctor, she wants to talk to you. So I don't know. They called me in, I sat there, and then they say, We think you might be pregnant, so we can't proceed with the surgery today. And I was confused that the Lord reminded me, remember, Lonnie, you were asking for confusion. So they're both so confused that even I thought I was confused, and then the Lord reminded me, confusion, confusion. Then, and then they say, So we're not going to continue today because we're just going to monitor just to make sure uh it's better to be safe than sorry because we don't want to open up and we're going to affect the baby. And we're like, Oh, okay. But then what the Lord reminded me, I asked her, I say, is it possible for me to take another biopsy today? Because I all I believe that I'm actually healed already. They looked at me and they're like, No, we cannot do another biopsy. And they looked at me like really weird. Uh, so they called my husband in and they were talking to us. And I told my husband, I say, I think I'm I believe that I'm healed because it's so crazy. So I've and he said, Yeah, can we do another biopsy? They would not allow me to do because they say it's too early, so the biopsy cannot read uh whether or not the true task will come back or not, because it's way too early. You can't do another biopsy yet in less four months. So they say they will monitor four months and then we'll come back. If I'm not pregnant, then they do another biopsy. So four months came around. Was I scared? Yes. Voices came through my head, negative thoughts came in and start saying, You're gonna die, you're not gonna live uh every single day. I was I feel like I was like in bondage, listening to the voices and a lot of fear uh for four months. And then I was so scared. I was praying, I was on the knees, I was declaring, I was declaring like I am healed by his stripe, I'm healed. I was doing it like for like for four months straight, kept on going and going, going, going. And I did that for four months straight, and then I went back in, and that surely the test came back and it was negative. And they say it's negative, they don't know what's going on, but they monitor me for the past three years. Every four months I come in, negative, negative, negative, negative. Finally, you say, you know what? Amazing, you don't need to come in anymore. You are clear, we don't know what's happening, we we can't find it. We know what happened, you know. Like, praise God, uh, we believe, and that's heal, and what happened because of that situation. My mom in the process, she has they found a cyst in her lung. And I told her, I said, Mom, I'm gonna tell you exactly what to do because God healed me from cancer. And she said, What do I do? I told her exactly the same what I did. I say, Look, just repent, mom. Repent for sin. If you have unforgiveness, forgive those around you. They do not know what they're doing. Forgiveness is so important, God. And then just declare the words over you, declare over you over and over and over and over. Just continue. Command whatever the cancer that's in you, tell them to leave. They do not belong your body because your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost. You need to like command it to go in Jesus' name, you know, and just live by faith and just know that He will heal us. She did that a year. They went and they did the I think MRI or MMR, I don't know, I think it's an MRI, I'm not sure. And then she came back. I was the first person that she called, and she said, Guess what? I think what? She's like, You're the first one I called to let you know. She's like, they cannot find that cancer cell that was starting in her lungs. And I say, she said, she was crying, she's like, Oh my gosh, I can't believe it. Like, God is just amazing, God. He's an amazing father, he's a loving father, and he would not want us. Yes, we may allow go through stuff, but if we are able to hold on to him, cling on to him, and knowing that he will provide the goodness of him, like we may not see what is ahead of us, we may not see at the very moment. So a lot of times we have hope, discouragement, and things that we go on life. But as long as we just say, you know what, God, you are faithful. You are faithful because you say so in your words, you say so in your words, Lord God. This is who the true who you are. And if we're able to anchor ourselves in the word of God and hold on, and I try to like hold on, even like one word, you know, just one verse, one verse of something of God's promises over your life and say, God, this is your promise over my life, God. This is what you said in your words, Lord God. And when we're able to do that, man, you can see things start shifting around you and life and things start changing as long as we don't give up the hope. Even do we walk through the fire, we're gonna walk through the fire, we're gonna walk in it, we're gonna walk out it even stronger and more refined than ever, you know. And we're gonna become the person step into the true calling of as long we are faithful. Don't despise the young um season, you know, or the things that we haven't seen it flourish yet. Don't despise it yet, you know. God has a purpose, and I believe we're all born with an intention to be greater. God has called us for a reason, you know, He called us to bring heaven here on earth. We have to bring it. And as long as we're faithful, God will do His, He He's going to explose it in a way that we can't even imagine. The goodness of God is just it, I can't even, I can't even say it, you know, like the goodness of God on my life, no matter what we go through, financial, whatever, we just like, God, this is in our season of my life that in our life that we I have never seen it before in my life. That our bank account is like zero. Okay. For me, before, when it's even like there are a certain amount, I start panicking, I start stressing, I start like, oh my gosh, oh my gosh, God, like what is going on? I have come to a place that even there's zero dollar in my bank account at this moment in our life. I have so much more peace in my life than ever. Because I had come to a place that, God, you you see us, you hear us, you are here with us, you're sitting with us. So you know exactly our circumstances, our situation that we've gone through. So why am I so worried, so feared? That means I don't believe in you as I'm telling people, that's mean I have not rest in you. And I have to learn that, wow, God, I'm resting in you, I'm resting in you in this situation. I'm resting you in my financing, I'm resting you in my um career, my change, I'm resting you in my family, my children. I'm learning to rest in you because I know who you are in time. All I can do is just hand it over to you, God. And I know every single month He takes care of us, pay our bills. This like never happened for us. It's like for us stepping out of faith and into a new level of faith, of an unshakable faith to let us see. Are you still trusting in me? You know, even though your bank account is zero, we're still trusting God. We're not gonna leave, we're gonna still hold on to your hands, and we're gonna not go to let go because we know if He's able to guide us and lead us, if we can follow, man, that's all we have to do.

SPEAKER_00 20:42

That's amazing. What would you say? Because I just feel like you are just so strong and your faith is so strong. What would you say to someone who's in those moments, whether it's you know, trauma or just those moments of trusting or looking for healing, and they're struggling to trust in God and rest in Him, like you you said. What would you say to someone like that?

SPEAKER_02 21:04

I think for so many years, I I have mainly seen a lot of pain in my own life. I saw a lot of fear. I saw the broken places and loss and the season where I felt unfair or confusing when when you are living inside a story, it's often hard to see meaning clearly. But with time healing and perspective, I began to see that God was presence in chapters where I thought only pain can exist. And he preserved my life when I could have been lost, he sustained me in seasons that could have been destroyed me, he restored places in me that I thought would always uh stay broken, and he used wounds to produce compassion, he used battles to produce strength, and he used uh hidden pain to give me understanding for others, uh people. So now I do not see my stories as a proof of what happened to me. I see it as a proof of what God can do with me. I see that He can do with what had happened to someone. I also believe that my story reminds people that destiny can begin in a very Broken places. And sometimes people assume purpose starts on a platform in strength or in ideal circumstances. But many times purpose begins in survival. It begins in tears. It begins in the hidden battles and private healing. And looking back right now at my own story, I believe that God doesn't waste nothing at all when it is surrender to Him. He can take what it was meant for, destructions and turn it into healing, for wisdom and freedom and to impact other people. And I believe that I want to let them know that, you know, you are born for a reason with purpose, you know. There's time that in your own life you want to give up. You know, don't give up, you know. But later, you know, I understand God was just preserving me, forming me, and caring me in a ways that I didn't recognize it. Even when I was going through pain and trying to kill myself, suicidal. And even as in a grown woman, sometimes those thoughts come through. And I have to fight it. You know, freedom comes from you take a stand and you say it starts with me and it ends with me. You have to say, you have to decide. We we talk about a lot of generational curse at a church and our deliverance minister. So generational curse, we can blame on our generations all we want, but when the generation curse means it's gonna stop with you, it's gonna end with you. You're the one, if you don't want to see the pain, the addictions, the trauma, the the abuse, the things that's gonna carry on to your next generations with your children, with your grand-grandchildren, it ends with you. You're the one who has to take the stand today and say, look, it's gonna end with me. I went through it, I've gone through pain. It's just too much for me to handle. I've gone through divorce, sickness, illness, disease. I'm about to die, you know what, but it's gonna start today. Today's the day that you take the stand. Today's the day that you say, I'm gonna take that stand. I'm gonna walk it out. It's gonna be, you may, you know, stumble and fall, but you have to get up again. You gotta keep on getting up and start over. When you fall back, get up, get up and say, it's gonna start with me. I'm gonna cut off my generational bloodline of abuse, of addictions, of drugs. Drugs will not gonna help us. It didn't help me. So you have to take the stand and say, it's gonna start with me. I'm gonna fight the battle because I want my bloodline to change and it's gonna end with me today. And that's how you have to look at it. And I have to start telling myself, I don't want my kids, I don't want my generations to go through what I went through. I don't want them to go through divorce again. I don't want them to go through abuse of pain or sickness and illness. So I have to show them it's gonna start with me.

SPEAKER_00 25:30

Start with me. That's beautiful. Thank you for sharing that. I um I feel like I could sit and listen to you talk for hours. Um, just so much inspiration. And I just, you know, I just want to thank you for sharing all of your story today. I know it was emotional at parts, but I I really appreciate your time, and I know someone out there is going to need to hear this. Um, and I will absolutely share the link for your book as well because I I think that needs to get out so people can read it. Thank you. Thank you. I appreciate it. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 26:00

I appreciate your time. I really do. I am grateful, you know, for this. I think this is the beginning season as I was sharing. I felt like the Lord will just share with to let you know this is your beginning season. You're starting something that you don't even realize what you're starting. You know, the Lord is gonna open even greater work for you. Yeah, you have started something that's mighty powerful, and don't despise what you're doing. While I was saying that, I felt the Lord want to say that to you. You know, don't despise it. You know, continue to press on what you're doing. You will see it's gonna come into flirtations and it's gonna be tangible to where you've been can taste the milk and honey is on the other side of the door as long as you just walk through it and continue to stay on that path, what you're doing is gonna flourish. It's gonna flourish, it's gonna be abundance, and you will see in time, you will see it's going over an abundance. Thank you.

SPEAKER_00 27:00

I appreciate that. I needed to hear that. Thank you. That's it for this episode of Unspoken Lives. If today's story moved you, inspired you, or made you reflect on your own journey, hit that subscribe button so you don't miss the next powerful conversation. I'm always on the lookout for new guests. If you know someone with a story that deserves to be shared, I'd love to hear from you. Check the show notes for contact details and make sure to follow along on social media at Unspoken Lives Podcast. Until next time, keep listening, keep sharing, and remember every life has a story worth telling.