This has been a big year for me in terms of family and adulthood and life and all of that stuff because I sent a kid to college. That was not my favorite thing ever. Also, it was great and exactly what needed to happen. One of my daughters is going to school close to home, and it just made sense for her to stay close for the time being. My other daughter is far away at college. Ugh, it hurts. It was just like all of the scenes and all of the shows when you drop off your kid at college and the leaves are turning golden and you see the dad's eyes well up with tears. I mean, it was rough, man. It was everything that sentimental TV shows and advertisements had told me it might be, and so much more. But she needed to go. I couldn't keep her. It's the right call. She's doing so well, by the way. I'm so proud of her. She had a great first semester and succeeded at things that I didn't even know she was interested in and did so well. And she's studying Bible stuff, and come on, you can guess how that makes me feel. And she's killing it. She knows so much about the Bible and history, and she's just growing socially and artistically. And I'm I'm just so proud of her. She needed to go. I hate it, and she needed to go. I think in a lot of ways, Paul feels that in the book of Philemon about Onesimus, but there's a complicating factor to that that I don't have with my daughter. And that is that my daughter is not and never has been a slave. She's my daughter. So it's really a pretty straightforward proposition there, right? We uh have a baby, we love the baby, we raise the baby, we teach her values, we have fun with her, we laugh with her, we show her the world, and then we commission her out into the world, and there's just some painful moment where all of that finally becomes reality, and that's it. It's not like it hurts anybody else, or like there are two things that are in great tension. It's just we love you and we miss you. It's just very simple. With Paul and Philemon and Onesimus, though, there are so many complicating factors, many of which we've talked about quite a bit around here already. One of the complicating factors is the same complicating factor I have with my daughter. Paul just really likes Onesimus. Well, I just really like my daughter. Paul doesn't want Onesimus to go back to Philemon, like if he could just snap his fingers and make everything his way, Onesimus would stay with him. Paul likens Onesimus to being his very heart, his son. Also, Onesimus is super helpful. It's just, I mean, it's it's a great setup, and it's a wonderful season for Paul to have Onesimus around, like it was a wonderful season for me to have my sweet girl at home and to play music together and to laugh about stuff and watch silly videos on the internet and go get meals and talk about life and all of the other wonderful things we got to do. But well, now the season is college. Well, for Onesimus, the season was no longer stay in Rome for all sorts of those complicating factors we've discussed. The season was pack up your things and go with Tychicus with these couple of letters in hand and go back to Philemon. Of course, the great complicating factor is that Onesimus did not have leave to go. He was in the ancient, very compromised institution and standing of slavery with Onesimus, and so the return here was complicated for a lot of people, much more complicated than going to college, because the entire Christian endeavor in Rome was in jeopardy if this was mishandled. The Christian endeavor, the church in Colossae was in jeopardy if this was mishandled. The future of Onesimus was in jeopardy. The future of Philemon was in jeopardy. Heck, Paul might lose his head in his appeal to Nero if he appears to be a lawbreaker who brings about this kind of instability and challenges such calcified institutions as slavery. No, we've done the math on it. Onesimus had to go back, but I bet that was a pretty tearful goodbye between Onesimus, who in a lot of ways was more free than Paul as he began his journey back to Philemon. And in the middle part of Paul's appeal to Philemon, which is the middle part of the book, Paul is pretty willing to display his emotions about this and how much it kills him to send Onesimus back. But I don't think that's a manipulative trick to be like, I'm very sad. You should feel bad for me. Look at my emotions. Behold them. Did you not behold them? Let me tell you more about my emotions. Do you behold them now? Do you feel bad for me? Have I acquired some guilt debt relationally from you? Then we're right where we want to be. No, I don't think this is that kind of immature dopery that's going on here. Instead, I think this is part of Paul's multifaceted appeal. And I think what Paul is doing by letting Philemon know this was hard for me. I will miss him. I love this guy, was to make it clear to Philemon that for Paul there was sacrifice involved. There is something bigger in play than I just get to have all my friends around me while I'm in jail. Of course, that would be nice for Paul. But Paul is thinking bigger things than just about his comfort and his happiness. And that's part of why Onesimus had to go back. Here's what Paul says. Verse 12 I am sending him, who is my very heart, back to you. I would have liked to have kept him with me so that he could take your place and helping me while I'm in chains for the gospel, but I didn't want to do anything without your consent, so that any favor you do will be spontaneous and not forced. Look, I can tell you exactly why I sent my daughter to college, because it's what she needed. It's what was next for her. Selfishly, I'd love to have them all be, you know, 11 years old for all of time. And we just hang out together as pals and throw the ball around and explore the world and chase bugs and go fishing, but that isn't how time works. That isn't how life works. Probably my parents wanted that with me as well, but I needed to grow up too. No, I sent my kid to college because she needed to go to college. It's what was next. Paul sent Onesimus back because they needed to be reconciled. And this is a place where our modern and I think morally very reasonable assumptions about slavery kind of get in the way of us properly understanding this book and this passage in particular. Look, it's no lie, I spent a huge amount of time this season on the topic of slavery. But in the minds of the original audience, I don't think this was a book about slavery. I think it related to that. I think it came up. But for most people, the primary take-home here would have been about reconciliation, not the institution of slavery and what the dance steps should be if an unusual set of circumstances like the one with Onesimus and Philemon were to arise. Surely it had practical value for those reasons, but it had much wider value for everybody who would encounter this, who was a part of the original audience, for its application to something we all deal with, which is relational fallout, which is estrangement, which is broken promises, hurt feelings, whether those hurt feelings are justified or not. And subsequently, what it takes to fix it and to put it back together, and subsequently, subsequently, the superpower that is the gospel and the forgiveness of Christ that positions people who are Christians wonderfully to overcome things that sometimes are pretty hard to overcome apart from that framework of forgiveness for each other in light of the forgiveness that we have in Christ. Now, I think Paul is telling Philemon this is very hard for me, because he wants Philemon to think about why Paul would do this hard thing. Surely there were a lot of practical reasons that Paul did it for that we have explored, but for the sake of Onesimus and Philemon, this had to get straightened out, or there was no moving forward for the two of them. There's a real opportunity here for one, a Christian reconciliation that would have been very public, that would not have happened apart from the gospel, or it would have been at least very unlikely in the Greco-Roman world. So, first, there's an opportunity for a huge relational win for these two people and a huge relational win for everybody. But beyond that, this is a potential, timeless, through the centuries, through the ages, living object lesson for anybody who would encounter it about how to and why to put things back together after a really legitimate falling out. I think one of the reasons that Philemon, from a very practical perspective, is in the Bible is because you're supposed to read it and be like, dang, I don't know that I've ever had a falling out quite of that magnitude with anybody. And if Paul thought it was reasonable that they could put it back together in light of Christ, maybe it's reasonable that I could put it back together in light of Christ. It is clear to me from what Paul is setting up here in this appeal that he is not just hoping that Onesimus might forego punishment or pain. Paul is hoping for much more than that. Paul is hoping for a restoration that exceeds the previous relationship that had been broken when Onesimus ran away. Paul is playing for a gigantic win that would again echo through the centuries as a testament to the power of the forgiveness of Christ in our lives and as an example for us in our relationships with each other. And we'll look at more of how that appeal plays out tomorrow. I'm Matt, this is the 10 Minute Bible Hour Podcast. Let's do this again soon.