Wedding Music – DJ vs Band (and Why Your Dancefloor Died at 9:17pm) (Ep 12)

Be honest… have you ever left a wedding early because the music was tragic?

This week, we’re getting into it. DJ vs band — the debate that quietly makes or breaks your entire wedding. From empty dancefloors at £50k weddings to absolute chaos at £5k ones, we’re breaking down what actually keeps people dancing (and what sends them home early).

We cover:
Why music controls the entire vibe of your day
DJ vs band — the real pros, cons, and brutal truths
The biggest music mistakes couples make (yes, including your 6-minute aisle song)
Whether having both a band and DJ is genius or just showing off
How to actually fill a dancefloor (without killing it with “your taste”)

Plus: listener dilemmas, questionable song choices, and a few DJ horror stories that prove not all weddings are created equal.

Bottom line:
Your wedding is not your personal Spotify Wrapped.
It’s a party. Act accordingly.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

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SPEAKER_06 0:27

Welcome to episode 12.

SPEAKER_04 0:35

It's a good episode.

SPEAKER_06 0:35

Welcome to episode 12. I'm excited. The final episode of season one. And it's all to do with wedding music. So, you know, DJ versus band and why your dance floor died at 9.17 pm. So um be honest, have you ever left a wedding early because the music was shit?

unknown 0:56

No.

SPEAKER_06 0:57

Hopefully it wasn't one that the D was DJ.

SPEAKER_05 0:59

Or one that you're working at. Yeah, it's because all photographers leave at half past seven, save Jesus.

SPEAKER_06 1:06

So maybe it's me. Yeah, I think I have. Yeah, I think sometimes I've been to as a guest, obviously, not as a photographer. But yeah, I've been to weddings where the music was crap, and I've just thought, I like a dance when I've had a drink, right? And if I'm not on the dance floor, there's something wrong. Because I dance to most things.

SPEAKER_04 1:24

The problem is though, weddings are like Christmas parties. You have loads of different people of all different genres and who like different things. People of different genres. Yeah. So you've got you turned up who likes Indian rock and that stuff, and then Amber's there who's vibing to R and V, and you've got Harry who's like a funky househead. So you're trying to please like every single person. Yeah, I like my orchestras. He likes the most art. But you're trying to please every person at the event. Yeah. So it's it is very difficult. So people think it's easy to define.

SPEAKER_02 1:55

I was imagining you like heavy metal.

SPEAKER_04 1:58

Me?

SPEAKER_02 1:58

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 1:59

You're joking.

unknown 2:00

I'm joking.

SPEAKER_06 2:01

Thank God for that. Just because you've got a nose ring.

SPEAKER_02 2:06

Could you imagine? Or what about just um I think it's more the vibe. If I don't think it's it's like if people are dancing, you can really dance to quite a lot of music, I think. But if no one's dancing.

SPEAKER_04 2:18

Just on that note, I'm Dean John, professional DJ event. We know just in case.

SPEAKER_06 2:23

Yeah, good point. I'm Adam, like sale photography.

SPEAKER_05 2:26

Harry, I do flick swelling photography.

SPEAKER_02 2:29

Amber Butler photography.

SPEAKER_04 2:31

I do music when I take my couples out. Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_02 2:35

And then like that's probably why I would leave a wedding early though, is if there wasn't people dancing. I I don't know if it's as much as just playing.

SPEAKER_06 2:43

I feel like yeah, it's a bit of a knock-on effect, isn't it? Because if if there's no one dancing, then you don't want to be the first person to get the dance floor.

SPEAKER_05 2:50

But I do also think that you're not when you go to a wedding, you're not going to a gig, are you? So you're not going there for the music, you're going there for the couple, you're going there to have a drink, you're going there to socialise and all that sort of stuff. So if you're leaving because the music is shit, then that just makes you a bit of a prick, really.

SPEAKER_04 3:06

I've been to weddings where I've danced, but I didn't like the music, but I've danced because just it's it's like an air ticket, I suppose. It's it's not, I'm not going to an RB, I love RB, I'm not going to an R B club, and I know what I'm gonna get if I go there. To a wedding, I might get your music, I might get her music, so I just have to go through it. Some people were like, oh my god, I hate that. I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go and have a vape at this point. And it's like, yeah, well, sorry about that, but the other 38 people have requested that, and the bride and groom said you must play these seven songs, and I keep going back to it as a wedding DJ, you are the only person that is literally as a supplier pretty much told what you need to do at all times and stopped and started and stopped.

SPEAKER_06 3:48

I don't know, but even the bride and groom aren't gonna like every song, are they? I mean, the amount of times you've seen them do their first dance and then fuck off to the bar.

SPEAKER_04 3:55

It's a six-clock wedding, yeah.

SPEAKER_06 3:58

You can't please everyone, can you? No. But is is there um is there a song like that clears off the top of your head? Can you think of a song that comes on after the first dance that clears the dance floor instantly?

SPEAKER_05 4:10

Macarina.

SPEAKER_06 4:12

You reckon?

SPEAKER_05 4:13

Yeah, because people either are gonna do the dance or they're fucking not. And if you and if that song's on, then you're expected to do that dance.

SPEAKER_04 4:21

Yeah. I've had things like Jabel was the like the first song without a sax player is the song after because the couple love funky how much. Jabel.

SPEAKER_02 4:30

I love that song.

SPEAKER_05 4:30

Jubel. Jabel, yeah. Jubel. How's it going? Jubel. Ju Bell.

SPEAKER_01 4:35

Yes, the one that it's like the most iconic ever. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 4:39

But I've had it without a sax player, but everyone over the age of like 55 has basically just cleared the dance floor. And if it's only 60 people at your wedding and 40 people are older than that, they they don't like it. I think with the if you pay like Stevie Wonder Superstition, you'll probably get everybody because it's like a generic winner. Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 4:58

Or Mr. Brightside, I think that's a good one. Do you want to remember?

SPEAKER_04 5:02

But people hate that. People are like, don't play Mr. Brightside or don't play Taylor Swift or don't play ABBA. It's like so for you, it's like Mr. Brightside's a massive thing.

SPEAKER_06 5:13

No, but I mean, don't get me wrong, I've listened to it a lot. I'm not I'm you know, I'm kind of like I've listened to it a lot in the last 25 years. So I'm not like if it comes on, I'm not like really excited. But then I think once you've had a few drinks, yeah, and it's a good vibe, everyone's like, you know, on the dance floor, it's a good last song, isn't it?

SPEAKER_04 5:28

It's a good song late in the evening.

SPEAKER_06 5:30

Yeah, maybe not like the first one, but yeah. Um so so what would you say that the if you could off the top of your head, if the dance floor was looking a bit flat and you had to play one song to get everyone on the dance floor, what's what's the first one that comes to mind?

SPEAKER_05 5:45

The adrenaline shot.

SPEAKER_06 5:46

One that resurrects the dance floor.

SPEAKER_04 5:48

Probably show me love. Really? Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 5:51

God, never been a fan.

SPEAKER_04 5:54

Yeah, a bit of a nights house works with all age groups because the older people like it, the younger people obviously vibe off it.

SPEAKER_05 6:01

And at the very least, the old people have heard of it.

SPEAKER_04 6:03

Yeah, yeah. It's not too like house, yeah. There's lyrics in it, it's still quite catchy. Interesting.

SPEAKER_06 6:09

What about uh Billy Jean? Some people are like, oh my god, that's not don't do it. So you just can't win. Can't resist Billy Jean. Okay. Um so yeah, so today we're talking like mainly about DJs versus a band. Um and yes, Dean's feelings might get hurt. Um, why music is different? Sorry, why music is the difference between the best wedding ever and we left at nine o'clock? Okay, because music is the entire mood controller, not just for the evening, but throughout the day. Like, you know, ceremony music, the wedding breakfast. Yeah, the that's what I mean, entrance, wedding breakfast. It's all throughout the day. First dance is obviously gonna be very you know specific to the couple, but um but the in the evening, like it's very important, I would say.

SPEAKER_05 7:00

Well, yeah, it's the it's because it is the evening. It is the evening, yeah.

SPEAKER_06 7:03

That's what I mean. So draw drawing the drink reception, it doesn't matter if the background music's a little bit shit. Yeah. Because no one's gonna be like, oh yeah.

SPEAKER_05 7:10

You could literally press play on a pot on a Spotify playlist and that'll that will suffice. Exactly. But the evening. Whereas the evening you need a bit of you know az-az.

SPEAKER_06 7:19

Because no one rem no not being funny, but no one remembers the chair covers, but they remember if they danced and had a good party, right?

SPEAKER_05 7:26

You're right. Totally right.

SPEAKER_06 7:28

And as much as chair covers are important, in case you're a chair cover supplier, they are.

SPEAKER_05 7:34

I don't think chair covers are important, just saying that. There we are. I think they were in the 90s. Yeah, okay. Continue as you were.

SPEAKER_06 7:41

But anyway, that's another topic. Um, episode chair covers. Yeah. Yeah. Um so gimme we well, come on, you're a DJ. Let's get let's get an anecdote from you in terms of just give someone.

SPEAKER_05 7:58

What's your favourite entrance song? I know what mine is. Yeah, Free From Desire, you're cool.

SPEAKER_04 8:02

No, no, no, no, no, no. It works, no, no, it works. It gets everyone going every time. It just yeah, ABBA, gimme, gimme, gimme is pretty good. Yeah, like the house version of that is good because it's got the beat and it's everyone knows it. Doesn't matter who you are, you know that song.

SPEAKER_05 8:19

Have you ever have you ever done something behind the decks and it was like a tough lesson to learn? Like, I don't know, like you played a song and you were you instantly regretted it, or like you know, you had like abuse from people because of it, or you must get some abuse every now and again, right?

SPEAKER_04 8:37

The thing is, like, you are scripted by your couple, so when you're when I've done the call, but you're also dealing with the people in their drunkest state, right?

SPEAKER_05 8:44

We've had we've had like so we've had all day to not only like get familiar with them whilst they're sensible and sober, you then show up if you're not doing all day, you show up in the evening, they're all pissed out of their minds, and they're expecting like gold from you, right? And then like so you must, yeah, you must get some shit.

SPEAKER_04 9:05

Yeah, occasionally, like not as much as no, not as much as you know, because to be honest, most of your mix is a mix of all genres, so you will please someone at some point, yeah. Um, unless the bride and greenwall, the couple, have said don't play this genre, like 80s, for instance, and then you've got a few older people kicking off because you're not playing 80s, it's like, well, go and speak to them. That they're the people that have bit me. It's not my decision, yeah. So, yeah, I'm I'm governed by the couple, really. So if the couple says they don't want RB, house, garage, drum and bass, that's it.

SPEAKER_05 9:38

This is really yeah random, but just a question I'm interested in. Are you ever governed by the venue? Are there ever ever types of music that you that the venue won't allow you to like you know, like swear in and stuff like that?

SPEAKER_04 9:50

Like not that for swearing, but more for sound limiter issues. Like that's the worst. Like the couple have said, I love RB, I love drum and bass, and I'm thinking, brilliant. So you're at a venue that's got a sound limiter that's gotta be shut off at 11 o'clock. That's gonna be a great vibe. Because the the food's getting served at 9 30 in the evening until 10:30, and your venue shuts at 11, but you've asked for the most loudest music where people are gonna go for it, which is just again, people just don't look into the venue. And uh I had a couple recently that have contacted me, they were getting married at one venue, and now they've not two venues, no? No, they had three venues in mine, yeah. Oh no, you don't believe one. I do prick. Finish your story, do you? Yeah, go what was the rest of the story? So they were like, Oh, we can't we you did my sister's wedding, and it was an absolute vibe, and everyone was going for it, it was proper party, we love that music, and I'm like, okay, but you've chosen a venue that has got a sound limiter, that that just won't happen. Because the minute you start stamping your feet and you start going for it, it's gonna shut the power off. Yeah, so no matter what the venue tell you, it is it is gonna be a quieter vibe. Yeah, so again, it's another tip to the DJ, you know, you're governed by this or the photographer or announcing the photo beef or the couple's music, or so as I said, I can always say it as a DJ, you are the only supplier that is so governed by a wedding.

SPEAKER_06 11:21

So have you ever seen do you see a correlation between um like the budget of a wedding and how fun it is in terms of so like for example, you've got like a 50k wedding with an empty dance floor and a 5k wedding that turns into a full-blown rave. I mean, you know, that's just a random example, but have you have you do you see that?

SPEAKER_04 11:38

I've seen it a few times, yeah. Or the opposite? No, no, it yeah, it doesn't matter, it's the people at the end of the day.

SPEAKER_05 11:46

I do hate you say this, but I think it is a lot alcohol related.

SPEAKER_06 11:50

I just the more drunk people get, true, yeah. I won't dance sober.

SPEAKER_05 11:55

No, exactly. I'm I'm petrified of the thought of what I look like when I'm dancing when I'm pissed, but you'll never see me do it sober. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. This is why I'm sort of you know, I'm glad we leave early because I know those people the next day I'm gonna think, fuck.

SPEAKER_06 12:14

Yeah, that's gonna be that's gonna be forever dance. Because you you filmed the dancing, yeah. I've got photos of it, so there's there's no escape. Exactly.

SPEAKER_05 12:23

It's it, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 12:24

Are you a photographer that dances when you shoot? I've seen a few of them that they dance because they're standing right in the middle of everyone going for it, and they're just like yeah, you I feel like you kind of have to feel like maybe a little bit.

SPEAKER_05 12:36

You can't just stand there like a statue and be like that's everyone's pumping around you. You've got you have to kind of feel the rhythm and stuff.

SPEAKER_04 12:42

And also when I'm filming video, if I could have what you would do if you imagine that's your couple as the tripod, and you like I'm not gonna move more, so I mean like you know, you would if you could.

SPEAKER_06 12:55

I might kind of go up and down a little bit. Just just to kind of but you know you move.

SPEAKER_04 13:02

I remember playing a little bit of a bean, you were like grinding the little grinding like you were. I remember it, I was thinking, oh, she liked this one. I think it was actually yeah.

SPEAKER_02 13:29

Yeah, sure.

SPEAKER_05 13:31

I can imagine Adam doing a twerk show, actually.

SPEAKER_06 13:35

Yeah, okay, yeah. I wouldn't put it past me. Um so in terms of like band versus DJ, okay, you can't be biased, okay? Give us give a shortness.

SPEAKER_04 13:48

You asked me this in like episode three, and I always said both. I've got a question on the I can ask a question. You were gonna say band or DJ?

SPEAKER_06 13:56

No, no, no, no, no, no. That's that wasn't the question. I'm so sorry, I jumped in, I apologize. The question wasn't band versus DJ. The question was, um, so in terms of like the differences between the two, so you might you might see a band, they might be playing whatever, right? And you're like, wow, this is amazing. And then you've got a DJ where you might be like, Why am I suddenly dancing to five random songs I didn't expect? Okay, because you know, because DJs can be a bit more random, and bands generally stick to like certain genres, certain drop genre, right?

SPEAKER_04 14:30

Yeah, they're brilliant, they just take every good song from every genre and sing it in two sets and then fuck off. Yeah, but then another problem with bands.

SPEAKER_05 14:36

Do you feel like when you're because quite if you work with bands, do you then have this feeling that you're just the filler? Like, because you know, when they take their break or whatever, they're like, oh, team's gonna just fill in for a minute whilst they're kind of having.

SPEAKER_04 14:49

Yeah, sometimes, but then when they're packing up and the dance floor, you know, is packed and you're going through till midnight, then you're like Do you work simultaneously with them? Yeah, so I'll speak to them beforehand to know what they're gonna play, so they're gonna kill me in like this music or something.

SPEAKER_05 15:03

No, but would you ever maybe like, you know, control sound for them? Or I know most of them bring their own kind of like sound.

SPEAKER_04 15:09

I've got bands that I work with that will plug me into them, so I don't need to set my speakers up and stuff. And they'll stay, they go and have a beer for the last hour while I DJ. And they're unwind and stuff, yeah. Which works really well.

SPEAKER_06 15:22

Or another thing with bands is like, you know, it here's a version of of that song you love. I hope you like jazz. You know, then it's like they kind of like totally ruin a version of a particular song. Because they put their own spin on it, which might not be.

SPEAKER_05 15:36

But you'd like to think they they get hired because of the way that they do things, right? Yeah. You wouldn't just get a band that you'd you know, seen like on Google and not actually listen to anything they've done.

SPEAKER_06 15:49

No, but what I mean is it might not be everyone's cup of tea.

SPEAKER_04 15:51

I've hosted a wedding where they've had Beatles and it was a Beatles tribute band, and literally it was three sets of 40 minutes of Beatles songs. Yeah. Now, if you don't like Beatles, yeah, you've had it.

SPEAKER_06 16:02

Well yeah.

SPEAKER_04 16:03

And once you've done two or three Beatles songs that are classics, it's like to listen to that three lots with a 15-minute gap in between each. Yeah, yeah. That's most of your night, done.

SPEAKER_05 16:12

Imagine there, like rocking one out to yellow submarine.

SPEAKER_06 16:17

Literally, yeah. Yeah, god. Or another thing with DJs is is some DJs, I'm sure you won't do this, but you know, you might one minute play Abba, and then you've got Drake, and then you've got like Mr. Bright side, and you're like, you don't even know high-dentity clusters.

SPEAKER_05 16:32

If you don't if you don't have any direction from the couple, do you have like a go-to kind of playlist? Not necessarily a playlist.

SPEAKER_04 16:41

No, no, I have folders, so I have a house folder, a garage folder, an 80s folder, and then I would just Just on the day kind of what you're feeling, or you kind of I would have seen what the guests look like and how they are.

SPEAKER_05 16:53

You just kind of got so you can tell by what they look like, what you think I'm a little bit of a judge, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 16:58

Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 16:59

Which works. If they got the colours up, drum and bass.

SPEAKER_04 17:03

Phil bite in their nose at like eight o'clock. You know that they're well up for a deal with a chase and status at about half nine, they'd be well up for it.

SPEAKER_06 17:12

So so right, so I know you I know you know us three anyway, right? So if you're at a wedding and and Harry walks in, he's a guest, you you know that you just careful Dean. Careful Dean.

SPEAKER_04 17:22

There we go.

SPEAKER_06 17:22

What song would you put on to get him on the dance floor?

SPEAKER_04 17:25

Er I would put like a hip-hop track or an iron bit or something called. It'd have to be like an old school. Fatman scoop, maybe something a little bit.

SPEAKER_06 17:35

You said he's really good at judging, didn't he? Oh yeah, go on, come on, come on.

SPEAKER_04 17:37

So you've got a gold digger, maybe, or something like that.

unknown 17:41

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 17:42

Or niggers in Paris.

SPEAKER_04 17:44

Sorry. Something like that.

SPEAKER_06 17:45

Can't say that.

SPEAKER_04 17:49

That's the name of the track. Yeah. Okay. That's what the name of the track is. True. Yeah, I didn't make it up. I didn't write the music, unfortunately. No, fair enough. I just fair enough.

SPEAKER_06 18:02

Can't that be right?

SPEAKER_05 18:03

No, I just feel like feel like he's been violated.

SPEAKER_06 18:09

Um what about me? Er So I'm stood on the side of the dance floor, I'm looking bored, I've got my rum coat. What do you put on to get me on the dance floor?

SPEAKER_04 18:18

Jedwood. I've got to be in. Don't help him. Old school 90s like blur or oasist track, something along those lines. A punchy.

SPEAKER_06 18:28

Yeah, no, just name us, just come on.

SPEAKER_04 18:29

I'd look at it and I'd be like, George Michael. Um she's electric, maybe. Okay, that'll do. That'll do. Yep. Just warm you up a little bit.

SPEAKER_06 18:39

George Michael. Well I don't know about I probably wouldn't be a dance to it, but I'll definitely uh move for it a little bit. I used to be obsessed with Boy George. Well that's the You know the Wedding Singer. Whatever it is, that's the one. Yeah, no, when I when I was about four or five, um I used to Boy George was obviously more popular then, because this was like 98 follow. Um and my and I used to be obsessed with him.

SPEAKER_02 19:04

Who thinks the chameleon song, is it? Boy George.

SPEAKER_06 19:06

Culture Club, yeah. So whenever we used to come on music. Sorry, can I just finish this Boy George song? Sorry, sorry. No, so whenever we used to come on the TV, I used to be obsessed when I was like five, and my mum made me a scrapbook of Boy George photos. So uh yeah, that's maybe into the man I am today. I haven't still got it.

SPEAKER_05 19:27

Wow, right, what about Amber?

SPEAKER_04 19:29

Anyway, um yeah, what what song would it get out of here? Amber's tough because I I would say that Amber is like an indie type girl, but she's happy with pop as well. So I don't know, maybe wannabe as just uh drunk with her mates, but I would say you're more of a bit like pop. A bit of spice girls, yeah. Yeah, but I'd say she's open to all sorts. But I'm not saying you boys aren't, but I'm just saying as long as it's not like Taylor Swift, then we're good.

SPEAKER_02 20:01

Or Abba, then there we go.

SPEAKER_05 20:02

See she's quite Amber's open to all sorts. There we go. You heard it here first. Straight in.

SPEAKER_06 20:12

Next. Right, so um just I'm gonna sprinkle in some listener questions throughout the episode, okay? So uh we've got one from Sophie from Manchester. She said, My fiance every time, sorry.

SPEAKER_05 20:24

I didn't say everything.

SPEAKER_06 20:25

My she said, My fiance wants a band, but I'm worried it'll feel a bit wedding-y. Am I overthinking it?

SPEAKER_01 20:32

What do you mean wedding?

SPEAKER_05 20:33

Is it a wedding they're going to? Well, no, no, no.

SPEAKER_06 20:35

No, no, but I think what she means is like almost a bit cliche. I think that's what she means. Um so I don't think she wants it to feel like a corporate Christmas party type thing.

SPEAKER_01 20:45

Right.

SPEAKER_04 20:46

So it's about the timers, isn't it? If the band's not gonna finish at 10 30, then you're gonna stick a Spotify playlist on.

SPEAKER_05 20:52

But I also think the word band is too much of a broad kind of name. Like a band could be anything, couldn't it? It could be a two-man band, and they could be acoustic, they could be, you know, like anything, like there's so much range in that.

SPEAKER_06 21:07

Well, yeah, that's true. But yeah, I think, yeah, but I'd ask him what his reason is. Yeah, I can't go back to him, can I? Yeah, okay, but Sophie in Manchester, yeah, sorry.

SPEAKER_04 21:17

She could find, but she could Insta in, couldn't she? Or she could use one of our social media feeds to contact us again.

SPEAKER_03 21:23

Yeah, I I feel like No. Is that funny? I feel like we can.

SPEAKER_06 21:27

They do have Instagram in Manchester. I feel like Yeah, I feel like we can answer this question without having to go back to her for clarification. No, I think, yeah, what she means is like if you've got a band, it doesn't matter like what type of band, whether it's two men or two women or ten men, whatever, right? Um I think sh she sh she's obviously not a massive fan of wedding bands, okay? So she's thinking like, you know, like in the wedding singer, go back to that. You know, like he's kind of like a singer and he's got a band. Does that feel too weddingy, a bit cliched, or should she get a DJ? It's a bit more.

SPEAKER_02 22:01

I would say, depending on what style of music she wants, then look at a band that would cover that.

SPEAKER_05 22:07

And also what she's doing now is she's concentrating too much on how it looks and not how it feels. Yeah. So I think focus more on, you know, the atmosphere, the vibe, and don't worry about the underlying message that you think it sends.

SPEAKER_06 22:23

Yeah. I think it just depends on the band, doesn't it? I know it's not very helpful, but yeah, make sure you listen to them first and they play the type of music you like. Yeah. Um make sure they're not too cheesy. I think that's what she might mean by wedding-y, like a bit too like cheesy, if you like. Yeah. Um okay, um so yeah, thanks for your question, Sophie. Um so talking about cost and practicality of bands and DJs. So a band, I think they cost more, don't they? I've never really looked into it to be honest, but is that correct? Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 22:54

Because you're paying per head effectively and then put in a grand total, aren't you?

SPEAKER_06 22:57

So true, yeah. Um so and they and also they have they have to have breaks, don't they? Because they're human. They do, yeah. They have to go to the toilet and have a drink. And a green room. So there's like, oh yeah, sorry, we'll be back in 15 minutes, right? Oh, well, I'm glad you picked up that that was an American accent, because sometimes it sounds like Indian. So um, but yeah, so they need breaks, there's like a bit of a gap, do you know what I mean? Okay, so that's that's you know, so bands cost more. DJ, they've got continuous music, and it's a smoother flow. Yeah? So and well, they're cheaper than a band. And probably go on longer, don't they? I'm not talking in the bedroom. Always.

SPEAKER_05 23:43

So we're advocating for the DJ. Yeah, team DJ. Team DJ.

SPEAKER_06 23:48

Good. Yeah, we're advocating for the DJ if you're if you've got a lower budget. Right, another listener question. Liam from Bristol. He said, Is it overkill to have both a band and a DJ? Or is that just showing off? I'm for it. You reckon it's good?

SPEAKER_04 24:06

I think I like it. For the first for your first dance, to have someone sing it live, I'd that's a massive bonus.

SPEAKER_05 24:12

And then I would say to have a band sing for the first hour when it's that time when people don't really dance to have it is one thing I would add, if you're having somebody sing your dance live and you have some kind of um choreography going on, just know that it might not be to the beat perfect, and it can be a little bit difficult to do a rehearsed a rehearsed dance to a live song, whereas if it's a recorded one, pre-recorded, whatever.

SPEAKER_04 24:45

Yeah, most good bands though will sing the first dance on the track, record it, and send it to the couple.

SPEAKER_05 24:50

Yeah, but then they've got to then perform that exactly the way no sneezing. Exactly.

SPEAKER_06 24:58

Okay.

SPEAKER_04 24:59

How many couples do you see do a full routine?

SPEAKER_05 25:03

Not many. I'd say one in ten. Yeah. One in ten, maybe. Yeah. Some a lot of them, like I'd say five out of ten will have a little something, something just to add in there, like a drop kiss or a sp or a spin. Dropkick, yeah. Do you know what I mean? Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 25:20

Yeah, a little twerk.

SPEAKER_05 25:21

Yeah, a little like dead leg or something.

SPEAKER_06 25:23

Yeah, I think um in answer to your question, Liam, um in an ideal world, budget, you know, depending. Um banned early evening, and then the DJ could take over for the chaos hours. I think that'd be perfect. I think probably dream well in. Yeah, I think most people would probably agree, even the DJ agrees. I totally agree. And then you've got to start at bloody five o'clock and start DJing at 6:30. It'd be fresher, don't you? Fresher. Okay, so um let's talk about dance floor reality. So, um, what actually keeps people dancing?

SPEAKER_04 25:55

In your opinion. Having the couple on the dance floor is a massive 100%. Like a massive one, I would say. If the couple just decide to disappear, then why are the guests gonna stay? Unless they're smashed.

SPEAKER_05 26:06

I literally tell couples that on the pre-wedding call. I always say your guests will be a reflection of you. If you leave, your guests will leave. If you stay, everyone else will. I mean, that's not, you know.

SPEAKER_04 26:17

Especially bridal party, like all the gals, if you observe bride and groom and then all the boys.

SPEAKER_05 26:21

The thing is, if you've got the wedding party, bridesmaids and groomsmen, and the bride and groom, that's enough, usually that's enough people to then get other people. People don't like to be the only ones on the dance floor. Yeah. So if you've already got ten people on a dance floor, then everyone else will just slowly kind of creep in anyway.

SPEAKER_06 26:38

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I agree.

SPEAKER_05 26:40

Just don't, as a bride and groom, don't be that first domino.

SPEAKER_06 26:44

And also, it's just when when yeah, keep keeping the genre kind of like not the genre, sorry, but the kind of like the uh tempo consistent. Because I think you can go from an indie song into an RB, into a hip-hop, into a rock song, whatever, right? But I think you've got to keep them all the same level.

SPEAKER_04 27:03

You can't go from like I just would never do it, even if it was the same beep, like the beats per minute at the BPM. I wouldn't bother. I I would I would never go from an indie track to unless I was gonna completely change it.

SPEAKER_06 27:14

No, I wasn't I don't mean literally like in that exact order, but what I mean it, what my point was is is that you can't like you know when they they play like a real downer? Yeah, like a love song followed by and then everyone's like oh fuck this, and then they all walk off the and then they play like some DJs will play though shut up and dance into Drake into because it's a similar BPS.

SPEAKER_05 27:34

That's why number one you don't go for a Spotify playlist because you don't necessarily know what you're doing. You might have a load of songs that you know and love, but it isn't just about the songs you pick, it's the order you play them in as well. Yeah, and when you play them, and when and at what point you play them, yeah. So that's why you need a DJ and a very good DJ, like our very own. Yeah, yeah. What a legend you are, Harry. Oh mate. Love you, man. So um respect.

SPEAKER_06 28:00

Another listener question, Chloe from um Godwell Ming. We're working our way down the coast. Sorry. Um, she said, I've picked a really emotional aisle song, but it's quite long. Do I just walk slowly? Do you remember the one we had?

SPEAKER_05 28:18

Where the timing had to be perfect, and they absolutely nailed it, and you were so stressed. Yeah, I'm I'm watching the second The Maid of Honour, it because the aisle was well 200 metres. Yeah, it was like coming off the motor. It was like it was like an exit of the motor, and it was like, yeah, I I kept feeling your stress from behind me.

SPEAKER_04 28:40

I was stressed, I didn't get stress is yet when but when the cut when they tell me that they're gonna do that and it they had about a bridal party of a football team, yeah, I'm worried. They fucking know. She stood right there as the song finished.

SPEAKER_05 28:54

Yeah, it l it was yeah, twitchy bum. It was the per. But it was a carry on. So that well, that actually does repeat.

SPEAKER_06 29:01

Well, so no, so I think she just wants to know like, does she just walk slowly? And I just think, well, no, because it depends how long you're on it. Yeah. No, but we we obviously don't know all that, but but she's obviously concerned that it's a long song.

SPEAKER_04 29:13

They can start it later, and there's loads of ways of variations, edit it, there's the uh Yeah, that's what I wasn't saying, edit the song, time the entrance.

SPEAKER_05 29:20

What I don't like is when all the bridesmaids come in. Glead. When all the all the um the bridesmaids come in, and then there's like a 45 second gap while whilst the bride's waiting for her grand entrance, and then everyone's just kind of like and you can see the groom is just like already like panicking and stuff. So yeah, I think edit that song, don't change it, but edit it.

SPEAKER_04 29:45

Don't overthink it either. That's the other part. It's like 30 seconds of your life, which is very important, but don't overthink how you're gonna get down there and it you're gonna come down, it's gonna work.

SPEAKER_05 29:59

Yeah, I don't I don't know if I agree with that.

SPEAKER_04 30:01

I personally do.

SPEAKER_05 30:02

If you like the song, you like the song, it's like yeah, but what you don't want is you don't want to be like skipping down the aisle because it's too quick, right? And you don't want also there to be not enough time for the amount of brides. So you've got ten bridesmaids.

SPEAKER_04 30:15

I always prefer it when a bride has her own track.

SPEAKER_05 30:18

Yeah, but um like imagine if oh is are we talking about as if you're choosing the track? Or you when when would when would the bride not have her own track?

SPEAKER_04 30:26

No, as if like she comes down to her track and the bridesmaids have the bridesmaids. I see. I love it when it's that doesn't happen. Especially with outdoor weddings where the aisle is huge.

SPEAKER_05 30:35

Yeah, I don't get that very often though. But like if you've got say ten bridesmaids, and then your grand entrance bit is like 45 seconds into the song, and you've got ten, and the next thing they're all clumped up, like sort of like penguining down the aisle, like that's not ideal, is it? But like probably not, but yeah, pick your battles.

SPEAKER_06 30:57

Um okay, so let's talk about um we talked about aisle music, which is you know, arguably the biggest emotional hit of the day, followed by first dance. But drinks reception, I feel like the music at the drink reception is often forgotten. Um sometimes people have a wedding singer or a harpist, um but the back in terms of like the background music when you're everyone's like sit around chatting and drinking, you know, that's I think personally, but at my wedding I took that bit very seriously, um, and some people feel like don't, and it's a bit of an afterthought.

SPEAKER_05 31:30

So I can but I can understand why, because unless someone tells you how important that bit is, as a first-time bride and groom, why would you actually have that thought to be like everyone's gonna be stood around chatting, you know, they're they're gonna be quite happy, kind of mingling all that sort of stuff. It's not until you don't have it that you realise something was missing.

SPEAKER_04 31:50

Well when I send my call out, like my final questionnaire to my couples that are booked all day. I'm like, start thinking about you know 10 pre-songs for when your guests are seated in the hour. We're like, oh, we didn't think of that part. And again, the drinks reception is the same thing. This is it.

SPEAKER_05 32:05

I completely agree with what you're saying, and I just I just don't think it's something that people would think to think about. Like they need that prompt, like what like you saying that.

SPEAKER_04 32:15

Well, they expect the venue's got speakers outside and they would look after it, but actually it's a venue that doesn't have speakers.

SPEAKER_06 32:19

Yeah, I don't think you have to be a wedding expert to know that you know if you love music, yeah.

SPEAKER_05 32:24

But not everyone does, not everyone speaks music like you are.

SPEAKER_06 32:27

No, that's the thing. So I the playlist for me was really important, right? I put it together, you know. But some people couldn't care less. Like if it was just silence, they wouldn't even care. Um so that's the thing, but I'm just saying, like, this is advice for people getting married. Think about your drink reception music. If you're not bothered, fine, that's up to you, but think about it, put a playlist together, just so it's on the background quietly, rather than just silence.

SPEAKER_05 32:54

I would base I would almost go as far as say only it's during the ceremony, is probably the only part of the day you don't need any background music for. Yeah. But the rest of the day needs to be covered with some kind of ambience. Exactly. So just bear that in mind.

SPEAKER_06 33:10

But also, like or instead of getting a playlist for the drunk subject, you could get like um, because we had a live um acoustic player, you know, for part of it as well. Like, you know, playing just out there singing, playing the acoustic guitar, which was great. But some sometimes, I mean, this is no disrespect to people playing live music, but sometimes it can kind of be a little bit too sort of know your place kind of thing.

SPEAKER_05 33:35

Yeah. But I know like you wouldn't want someone like that's why I think like guitarists and harpists and stuff are good background that's like subtle, yeah, not necessarily, you know, something that doesn't involve singing, maybe.

SPEAKER_04 33:48

You're not a fan when they they have like the mic and then all the gals and everyone's like dancing at all.

SPEAKER_05 33:53

Oh no, I love that, but not until maybe like a little bit later. Like, you know, you that happens though, no, you don't want drinks receptions. Yeah, but what you don't what I don't think you want is that this is what I find where you get all the heckling happening, right? So you have a proper lively drinks reception, everyone's like knocking the drinks about because it's so lively, you then go into the breakfast, absolutely off your tits, right? And then you've got and then you've got a you either go straight into speeches, and at that point everyone's still hyper and stuff, and they're like, oh anco, and like everyone's just heckling and stuff, yeah, or they then have to eat food and they come on this massive come down, and then the speeches happen, and then you kind of struggle to bring them back afterwards. I think the drinks reception needs to be you know slightly yeah, civil, yeah. I think you can overdo it in the drinks reception.

SPEAKER_06 34:48

Yeah, definitely.

SPEAKER_02 34:50

Yeah, I think or maybe have someone that in between after dinner and then waiting around to go to the evening. I think that's quite a nice to build people back up.

SPEAKER_05 35:01

Yeah, but I don't know, the thing is you can knacker people out. If people are like, you know, jumping on the seats and stuff before they've eaten food, then you know I feel like you can just kill them off too early.

SPEAKER_02 35:13

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 35:14

Yeah, makes sense. So another listener question. Um, this is uh from Emily from Cockfosters. Um love this. What's so funny about that? Nothing.

SPEAKER_05 35:27

Nothing. Um we've not had anyone from like somewhere in the world. Outer London. Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 35:33

So she said we don't want a first dance. Is that weird? Don't have it.

SPEAKER_04 35:38

No, don't do it. That's quite normal now. Don't want to cake up, don't want to first dance.

SPEAKER_06 35:42

I don't think I've ever had anyone not have a first dance. Off the top of my head. Oh, actually.

SPEAKER_04 35:46

She usually, when you got couples where like if it's a groom, they're a bit nervous and they don't really want the centre of attention. I'm like, mate, you're getting married, you're walking like bat down the aisle with your wife, there's probably ten times worse than standing for 15 seconds to stage a photo.

SPEAKER_06 36:00

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_05 36:02

Okay, there's another question: how long do you think is the minimum a first dance should be of just solo couple dancing? Because quite I've had a lot of people. Because I've had it before where I've had like 10 seconds. Oh god. And then they're like, you know, I've barely done an orbit, right? So I I orbit round a couple, and then I've got there, and then suddenly the groom's just like, everyone on, yeah, and it's just like I've barely got anything. A minute? I don't I don't necessarily need I don't think a whole like I'd say at least 40 seconds. Yeah, sometimes the chorus doesn't need to 30 to 40 seconds, I think, is is enough minimum, we're talking.

SPEAKER_06 36:37

Not maybe Artifacts chorus. Yeah. I mean, of course, some songs take a while to build up, don't they?

SPEAKER_04 36:43

But I will say to the videographer or photographer that the couple have they've said that on one minute ten they want everyone to join, so I'm just warning you that by the time it starts, it's like 20 seconds in by the time they get to the dance floor, but you're gonna have a quick turnaround. Yeah. Because I'm nice like that and don't leave them hanging.

SPEAKER_06 36:59

So yeah, basically, you don't have to have a first dance, it's not that weird. I mean, it's a little bit, but it's not majorly. Um, but you you obviously still need a moment to get the party started. Um so maybe encourage all the guests on the dance floor after you've cut the cake. Um that's assuming that you don't think cutting the cake's weird as well. But anyway, up to you. It's your wedding. Um so wrap it up. Tariq from London. Should we let guests request songs or is that asking for trouble? What do you think? Because you're the you're the you're the one that has to deal with it.

SPEAKER_04 37:36

It's okay as long as you're guests and not annoying guests, you know, like if because some guests would be like, oh well, okay, well, the Brian Groom said we can do requests, so every two minutes they come up and be like, could you play Alton John? Could you play George Michael? Could you play and I'm like, there's still a hundred people around, so it does work.

SPEAKER_05 37:54

At what point do you say no?

SPEAKER_04 37:55

Like as in so that that person's been up like four.

SPEAKER_05 37:58

No, no, not even that, but like what happens if they request a song and you know it's gonna be a floor killer. I wouldn't play it. You won't, so you just you would just I'll veto it out, yeah. The Biden and Groomer said we don't want eight, so they keep asking for 80s.

SPEAKER_04 38:11

Would you just say I I don't have that song? No, I'll say I'll I'll get it on when I'll do an 80 set. And I just never will do an 80 set.

SPEAKER_02 38:18

Could you not have something like you can request it like on paper, but don't keep coming up to the DJ.

SPEAKER_04 38:24

Because when you're DJing, the last thing you need is paper in front of you to like you're trying to mix and you're in a zone, you've already got everyone telling you to say stuff on the mic, buffet, photo booth, sparklers. It's like I'll tell you what, hang on, I'll go through 400 bits of paper because I've got some Timu cars that have song requests on. You mentioned Timu a lot. Well that's where everything comes from, isn't it? You're sponsored by Timu. Yeah, yeah. Okay. Teamu want to get in touch. DJbeenjong.co.uk forward slash contact.

SPEAKER_06 38:55

So you so you don't you don't like getting song requests basically?

SPEAKER_04 38:58

I don't mind them, but I just feel that you're gonna be able to do that. Some people you don't go up to the band while they're singing and go, oh mate, can you um can you just can you sing this?

SPEAKER_06 39:07

In the middle of their Another disadvantage of having a band. Yeah. You can't interrupt them while they're singing. Because they put earphones on. Yeah, alright. So it sounds like just I'm just getting the vibe that you don't really like requests.

SPEAKER_04 39:19

No, in an ideal world, no. No, there we are. But I don't mind someone coming up and going, Oh, my little kid really loves this, no problem, not, but they're nice about it, you know what I mean.

SPEAKER_06 39:26

So, Tariq, if you book Dean for your DJ, don't make loads of requests, okay? Hates it.

SPEAKER_04 39:31

There's no point having a DJ. If someone, if you're getting guests to come up every five minutes, what's the point? If they've trusted you to book you as a DJ, your job's to entertain. It's like me coming up telling you, actually, you should use that tree for your photos.

SPEAKER_05 39:43

That does happen though.

SPEAKER_04 39:44

With Taste Masters, it does, doesn't it? That's what you're gonna do your couple, that's what you're gonna do your confetti for Adam. You will use that bit over there.

SPEAKER_06 39:51

Yeah, yeah. So in terms of like um how to actually fill a dance floor, so like correct me if I'm wrong, okay? This is just some research I've done. So, in terms of what works, so mixed genres to kind of cover all the bases, yeah. A bit of nostalgia thrown in, you know, a bit of ABBA, yeah, etc. Yeah. Songs people know, not songs that you want them to appreciate. Yeah. So you don't want some obscure like fucking pop song from you know the 60s, you want something that's kind of popular. Yeah. Yeah? Yeah. Um and then what kills the dance floor? Being too cool.

SPEAKER_04 40:32

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 40:33

I mean, you are too cool, generally, but in terms of music, um, and obviously only playing your taste, that would obviously be a big mistake, wouldn't it?

SPEAKER_04 40:41

Yeah, you can't do that. That that's the first thing you have to. If you want to be a club DJ, you're fine because you can pretty much go in and play, you know. If you like house, you'll be a house DJ in a club and you'll just play house. But as a wedding DJ or event or whatever, you have to be open.

SPEAKER_06 40:54

So a little segue, so so if you could only play your favourite music as a DJ, what would that be, Dean? What what's your favourite? RB. So it'd just be R B R B hip hop and garage, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 41:05

Well like 80s, 90s, like 90s, 90s RB, old school RB, hip hop, garage.

SPEAKER_06 41:09

Like no diggity, you know, just as a random one.

SPEAKER_05 41:12

Exactly that Arthur Dodger.

SPEAKER_04 41:13

Yeah, Arfle Dodger. Okay, bit of uh So Solid Crew.

SPEAKER_06 41:17

I'd be up for going to one of your little private parties. Um, any more insights from 9D? Any more insights? Any juicy stories?

SPEAKER_04 41:31

Like a couple of weeks ago, my poor bride face planted on the floor. Oh god. Yeah. She was drunk. Oh, yeah. She was drunk. Sign of a good night. I take that as a good night. Yeah. If the bride, if the bride's spinning around on the floor, you know you've you've done alright.

SPEAKER_06 41:47

Are there any songs people pretend to hate, but when you play them, they're like, This is a mate, it feels a dance floor. Like guilty pleasures. Love story, Taylor Swift.

SPEAKER_04 41:55

People be like, oh, like, but yeah, people a bit, and then suddenly you play it and then ambers. Yeah, look, it's the same, like murder on the dance floor, all of those type songs. Murder on the dance floor. Unwritten, that's a guilty pleasure for it. Unwritten, but I don't even think that's a guilty. I think people teenage that bag is a guilty pleasure.

SPEAKER_06 42:13

It's not guilty, a little guilty about it.

SPEAKER_04 42:15

Some people are yeah, but it's some people are against it.

SPEAKER_06 42:20

Yeah, okay. Um alright, so anything else to add?

SPEAKER_05 42:25

I need to do the school run in a minute.

SPEAKER_06 42:28

Brilliant. Um, okay, so yeah, so anyway, we talked about music, obviously DJs and bands. Um, so you know, your wedding is not your personal Spotify wrapped, okay? You know, so you'll host a party, act accordingly, listen to Dean, he's full of very good advice, okay. I hope you took something from that today. Um, well, anyway, so that was the last episode of season one. We got that. 12 episodes down. So if you haven't listened to the other 11, you'd better go listen to them. Um, we've really enjoyed season one.

SPEAKER_04 43:00

David Mellon does season. And that's funny.