Growth and Resilience | TJ Nadeau '24

In Episode 16 of House of Hammers, host Aaron Babicz '93 and special co-host Tory Jackson welcome alumnus TJ Nadeau '24. The conversation centers on the intersection of faith, athletic resilience, and the necessity of high-quality relationships. Nadeau details his transition through the transfer portal, emphasizing the importance of choosing growth over comfort, while Jackson reflects on the spiritual grounding required to navigate high-level coaching success. 

Transcript

SPEAKER_04 0:14

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to episode 16 of the House of Hammers. This is a podcast we developed just to spread positivity, love, talk about people's trials, tribulations, how they fail forward, some of the things they do to pick themselves up, who's motivated them, and just all positivity. That's the whole point of this thing is to pump positivity and for people to understand that you can be a part of something bigger than yourself, whether it's your job, whether it's your home life, a sport that you might play, or how you mentor someone. So we're really excited to have a special guest with us today. But before I get to our special guest, I'm going to go to our guest host, somebody that we've talked about numerous times on this podcast. He's been a guest of the podcast, huge part of my circle, my family circle. Uh he's a man of faith, a father, a husband. He's our head basketball coach, and uh he's he's become one of my brothers throughout our journey here at Catholic Central. So I want to welcome Coach Tori Jackson as our guest host today. We can clap it up for him. A real guest you can clap to. We'll introduce you here shortly. But Tori, yeah, exactly. It's not like you're not familiar with him, so we'll tell some good stories between the two later on. But Tori just wanted to talk to you a little bit. How was the weekend? Anything fun you guys had going on? I know you had the retreat on Saturday. Love to hear a little bit more about that.

SPEAKER_01 1:30

Yeah, uh, this weekend was amazing, man. Uh powerful event. Uh, we had our uh what we call our Invincible Men's Conference over at Brightmore Christian. Uh we had about uh over 1,100 men show up to just worship, man, and praise God together for two days. We had three speakers come in and and and and preached uh and taught on like three powerful sermons. Uh it was amazing. Um for me, it was um yeah, it was a uh it was like adding fuel to the fire. It was throwing those logs back in to get me to stay on fire for God, you know. And um it was uh one of the one of the uh sermons that uh one of the pastors preached on really touched me. Uh um Pastor Kavar uh Reed talked about um he spoke on like Daniel, uh the story of Daniel, when Daniel was uh falsely accused um and thrown in the lion's den for um his loyalty and faith to God. And uh it was like how many, you know, how his enemies tried to set all of these different traps to to get him to lose his faith, to get him to change course and get him to uh forget about God. And instead of him reacting, uh he stayed he stayed in prayer. He he he prayed, prayed extra, prayed more, prayed harder uh for God to have to seek answers from God. And um Pastor Guevara talked about some real life lessons, brought some real life lessons into things. Um, but also like it for me it made sense. It made plenty of sense because of um a lot of distractions out there in the world that we can get caught up in. You can you can get caught up in the success, the individual success. Uh as a coach, we had great success this year. Um, but one thing that kept me level-headed, kept me grounded was God. No matter what, I kept giving glory to God. And it just kept seeming like he kept finding ways to bless me more, kept shining his light through me more. Um, the the downfalls when I fail um in certain things, I was able to uh find joy in him. Instead of relying on negative vices, worldly advice, worldly vices, I was relying on him. And Pastor Guevara talked about that, man. It was so powerful, man. I found myself being at the altar just in tears, crying and just giving glory to God, man. So it was amazing, man. Powerful. Um brought my nephew Jeremiah with me, man. Coach Jeremiah, he went with me. So man, we had an amazing, amazing time. Just glorifying God, dude. It was amazing.

SPEAKER_04 4:05

I love it. The message you sent me too. And and Tori will send me the message from each Sunday service. And it's the one yesterday was right on the money. Oh, bro. And it just talked about how God already knew you before you were even created. Every eyelash, every single freckle on your body, whatever it might be, he knew that before you were created, and he still knows everything about you. Yes, and that it's important for you to remember that you're one of one. Yes, one unique being created in his image. I love the idea of that. And we we constantly tell our kids here that guys, your journey is different than everybody else's. You were created in his image to be special. Yes. Like, what are you going to do with that?

SPEAKER_01 4:42

Yes.

SPEAKER_04 4:42

Your gift to God is what he gave you, your gift to God is what you make of yourself. I mean, it it's I don't think any truer words were more spoken. So I appreciate the constant friendship and the and the brotherhood, and like I said, the spiritual mentorship. It's helped write a lot of things with me too, just having our conversations on everything from raising crazy kids to having uh saints for wives. Shout out to Larissa Lauren. Let me throw that out there real quick to the ladies so we can brown nose and make sure that they get a clip of this. Sean, clip that, please send it to me. Please tell me to me. We'll share it with the ladies. Great browning point. But uh, but I do really appreciate it. That yeah, I have to do that. We always get a little brown nosing in on here. We have to, but uh, I really appreciate that message. And it's like every Sunday you send me that, it just hits me because it's something I'm going through that I can I can directly tie to that. But without further ado, someone very special that uh that we have here, I've gotten to watch this young man truly grow up, uh, not only in the hallways here at Catholic Central, but just as a young leader, as a phenomenal example of what it means to be a son and to love your parents, to trust them, even though you might not always agree with them. And and uh this person, this young man is very special to me. I truly look at him like a little brother. Um, not only was he an all-state basketball player here at Detroit Catholic Central High School, but he left Catholic Central, had a very successful summer, takes his talents to the University of Detroit Mercy, had a great two-year career at U of D Mercy, found himself in the transfer portal, and he now ends his career uh at Tulane, and we're very excited for him. And you talk about servant leader, you talk about somebody who's got a smile on his face, you talk about somebody who loves to put the work in, and that's Catholic Central graduate TJ Nadu, clap it up a little bit for TJ. Welcome hot toddy on the program, Larry Legend. We'll break out all the uh all the nicknames later on, tell a few stories about TJ and some of my favorites, and I'm sure come at some of Coach Torrey's favorites. But TJ, welcome to the House of Hammers podcast. We're excited to have you here.

SPEAKER_02 6:45

No, I'm excited to be here. I've uh been watching all the podcast episodes and keeping in touch with everything and uh just blessed to be here, blessed to be with two of my brothers and uh people that have been here for every step of the way with me. Uh, you know, Babbitt's has had such a hold on being able to guide me throughout my, you know, just career here at Catholic Central, right? Like I always tell people when they're like, hey, like I'm looking at CC, I should probably come here. I said, You if you're gonna come here, I said the best resource is make sure you're in Babbitt's office during lunch hours. I said, I said, you get in contact with him, you'll have everything you need. He'll go to battle for you wherever it's at. And then, you know, Tori coming here my senior year on top of it. It was just uh really enlightening for me to be able to kind of get a whole new fresh step and uh and be able to understand a different process, being able to learn, go through the you know, uncomfortable parts of that, and then being able to sacrifice, right? Because everything nowadays it it all involves a little bit of sacrifice, and you gotta know how to give something to get something, right? And so that was the process. Like it's not gonna be easy, right? It was his first year as a head coach here, and it was my first year being coached by him, right? So you gotta be able to understand how to be selfless in areas that you can be, right? And then be selfish in areas that you need to be, right? For me, that's going out on the court and doing what I'm supposed to do, right? I'm gonna be selfish in order to succeed for myself, but I'm gonna be selfless to succeed for the team, to help Tori be a great coach, or to make him be the best he can be, right? So I think I think those are cool aspects about it, and uh and I'm just I'm very blessed to be here in this opportunity on this podcast.

SPEAKER_04 8:20

TJ becomes the first. Well, we have two TJs here, so two two lane TJ becomes the first student athlete, current student athlete we've had on the House of Hammers. Usually it's mentors, coaches, people like that. So it's a it's a big deal for us to have you on here because you represent everything that Catholic Central stands for, everything your family stands for. In a brief two minutes, and it's fine if it takes more than that. One thing I usually do on here is the two minute you. Tell us a little bit about who you are, what makes you tick, and what TJ Nadu's whys are in his life.

SPEAKER_02 8:53

Yeah, you know, I I'd say the first thing I'm gonna touch on is uh kind of what Tori started off here, is is faith. Right. And and for me, the the biggest part that I really like to live by is in Revelations when they talk about the different types of you know, leader you can be, the different types of person you can be in your faith, right? And you have that you're either hot, right, and you're hot in your faith for God, or you're cold, or there's that lukewarm area as well. And and it's crazy to say this, and it's crazy that most people don't even understand that. But God would rather have you be cold than be lukewarm. Why? Because He doesn't want you to fake your faith. He doesn't want you to put all this stuff in your bio on Instagram and all those things and and and post and repost all these things about Jesus, and then at the end of the day, do you live your life like that? Are you hot for it? No. Right? So if you're not, it's better to be cold than it is to be lukewarm. Don't fake the faith, right? So I you know, I I think that's a huge part of just of everything, right? And then, you know, getting to your roots is the people who raised you, right? Your family and and and your friends that that have you since day one. I I think that's a huge part of who I am, right? Basketball is what groomed me coming up, right? My parents helped obviously put me in those steps and uh both of them being amazing basketball players themselves, right? And uh my dad, he always kinda took the pressure off me in terms of hey, if you want to be great, go be great, right? I'm gonna help you in every way I can. I'm not gonna push it on you, but I'm gonna make sure you can be successful. Right. And so for me, that uh that was kind of the coolest aspect. I never had to feel the pressure to do it. I just knew I wanted to, right? So you put in the work, you grind it out, right? And and having people that love you and help push you to be the best person. I think that makes it all the difference, right? So you know, just kind of tapping into those things was really huge for who I am as a person. Uh and then obviously my dad's an alumni from here, so kind of CC was the only thought process coming into high school. But you know, bigger bigger than it just being a a family situation, you know, I'm I'm so happy I came here because at the end of the day it's like the connections here last forever. Right? Colleges have obviously alumni connections and all that. But at the end of the day, like here it it is a totally different feel, a totally different like different grasp on life. Right? Like to be able to know that no matter what situation you're in, you can always come back here and you can always reach out. And that's that's the truth, right? So to be able to have that ability, it it creates this, you know, you can't fail scenario in your mind. Go out there, right? Take risks, take chances, be the best you and and that's what I'm doing right now. Right? Because I know I have great people to fall back on, but at the end of the day, like I want to reach for the stars. I don't want to settle for anything less. And uh and and that's just a big process of how I think about this whole thing. Right? Like where I'm at, nobody thought I could maybe be there, except the people that obviously like a Babbitt and a Tori, right? My parents and and my people. But you know, beyond that, there's a lot of people who doubt. You know, there's a lot of people who second guess and and they don't understand what goes on behind the scenes. And at the end of the day, it's that's work, right? You put in what you get out, and uh and that that's how it works here, right? And that's why like Tori right now, being able to mold the people he's got here, it's huge. Right? Every day I come here to work out and who's in here. Tori and the high schoolers getting after it. So you know, if you want to be about that life, you gotta live it. So yeah, I mean that that's really just kind of the process of where I'm at and and getting in my life.

SPEAKER_04 12:35

It's really not fair for me and Tori to sit here and hear you talk about your family because we love them so much. But it is, you know, it's it's it's heartwarming to hear somebody your age have it so much together with your faith. You know what I mean? And it's not fake. You're you're somebody who's hot in their faith. You're not lukewarm, you're not cold. And me seeing you throughout your whole journey, you've been the same way the whole time. I think that's what's so endearing about you is you've never changed who TJ is for anybody. Tori, for you, I know you've only got to spend one year as his coach.

SPEAKER_03 13:07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 13:07

I I always see him come back to the gym. Whenever he's around, you like he'll be like, where you at? I'm like, TJ, it's eight o'clock at night, dude. I'm not at school anymore. Like, you up here? I'm like, no, I'm not shooting in the gym. I already told you I got cut. Once again, I will say this again. Besides Sean, who's not much of a hooper, I'm obviously out of us three, the only one that got cut from freshman basketball, unfortunately. TJ, for the people in the back, say it again. I didn't even say it. Go ahead. I was one. Tell him, TJ. Go ahead. Both you TJs can tell him.

SPEAKER_02 13:40

I was what his biggest success on the court is being a free throw champ. Thank you, Tori.

SPEAKER_04 13:46

My old free throw champ. Did you ever win that? No, you didn't. Tori. Tori, never. You ever win that? Never. Okay, then. All right. Back to business. Tori, for you only having TJ for one year as his coach, though, but continuing to be a friend and a mentor, what's it like for you as a coach to see a player come back who you only had on the court for a season? Yeah. A sprint, really, because we hired you kind of late. We had to, you remember we had to jump in the summer. You were coming back from your shoulder injury, which still wasn't 100%, still hindered you during your season. For you, what's it like to have somebody like TJ come back continuously pour in and just to hear how good of a path he's on?

SPEAKER_01 14:23

For us, man, for for me, it's you know, we we talk about as a staff too. Like our your biggest recruiters are are your players, the ones that are playing for you currently and the ones that have played for you. So um to have him around a lot um when guys are around or he's out and about and guys ask him, you know, about his time at CC, um, and how for him to speak highly on his time with me and stuff like that, man, it you know, I I it speaks value on him about you know who he is, um, our relationship. Um I I enjoy every time he comes around. We always crack jokes. We play against each other sometimes in the summertime. I will. Uh not all the time, but uh you we can set this up as a little fundraiser. This could be a great fundraiser, but uh but uh we we always man, just having him around, man, TJ has been great. But you you you talked about it. When I first came in, it was towards the end of uh the summer. So trying to get everything put together. Um he was one of the ones I saw in the gym right away. He was dealing with uh an injury, coming back from an injury, dealing with some stuff. Um but he didn't want to miss his senior year. So he was trying to navigate through everything. Um I'm watching him work out. Um I'm just like, man, like I I love a kid like that. I'm watching him work out. I'm like, yo, he's he's gonna be the one. Like, cool. I'm gonna I'm gonna have him just be the leader of it. And then he and I just had this one-on-one relationship. Something that I had with my college coach coming in as a freshman, I knew how much you know he valued um just that one-on-one aspect. We can all he always was great with everybody, but he needed to be one-on-one with the leader, the point guard in that situation. Um, in our situation, I needed to be one-on-one with that guy. I knew other guys would uh they they followed or they they understood, man, he's the leader of this group. So I needed him to be able to, you know, the message that needed to get to the team, I needed a player to make sure that that message got through as well. We always talk about how a player-led team is better than uh a coach-led team. And he was the one I knew I could go to, and he understood he had a vision, he had a he had dreams, he had you know aspirations of trying to do certain things. And what I loved about him the most is he understood I've been there. I I've experienced how to get to that level, I experienced how to have success at that level. And he wanted that drive. Hey, whatever it takes, tell me. I'm willing to change whatever it takes. And we we had some battles in practice where we like, hey man, I need you to do this more, I need you to defend this, I need you to play here more. Like instead of you don't have to dribble to be efficient, you don't have to dribble to get 30. Like, there's other ways to be to go get a bucket without having to put the ball on the floor a ton of times, you know what I'm saying? So just get into your spot quicker. A lot of things that he learned in that in that short amount of time. I for me, I was willing to brag about him to any coach. And a lot of coaches didn't know. Man, I don't know, man. I don't know. I'm like, all right, whoever takes a chance on him, they're gonna get a gem, bro. They're gonna get a gym. And it just so happened, you a D took a chance, and from there, his I I knew no nobody. Once you let him in the door, he's kicking that down. With God on his side and the work at the uh you know, in tech to go into that, like nobody nothing was gonna stop him. So he just needed opportunity, and TJ took advantage of that opportunity. So um, just our relationship, our connection, our time that we've had. Um he's still to this day. That's why he's here, man. Just kick, just kicking it with us. Like, we talk about danger, everything, guys, loves or everything. So I'm that's my guy for life, family for life. His family is amazing, too.

SPEAKER_04 17:59

I mean, selfishly speaking, for all of us too, it was nice to have you close to home the last two years. Like I could bring the boys down to a couple games. It was awesome too. In UAD, it's it's you wait around for the players after pictures, stuff like that. I mean, you see a ton of people that are supporters of the UAD program that have no ties to it, people that are just Titan supporters for years. Like Coach Fenbert, who used to coach here, he goes down to the game still. We see Coach Sanawi, former basketball coach here, still comes down and supports you and shows love on social media. We've been able to come down. Like it's it's been it's been really cool to see your growth being the third best basketball player in your family.

SPEAKER_01 18:36

I I would agree with that. You knew that was you knew it was coming. I agree with that.

SPEAKER_04 18:40

Which segues perfectly into this question, TV. And I want you to be honest because you know Julie will watch this. I'm gonna text her after. At what age were you finally able to confidently beat your mom in basketball? Don't lie, because I know she didn't take it easy on you. And you know, I I skipped over Todd on this. Yeah, beating it. I'm going right to Julie.

SPEAKER_03 18:59

Stop. Go ahead.

SPEAKER_02 19:03

Let's hear it. Probably like eighth grade. Legitimately. Eighth grade. Okay. Eighth grade. All right. Yeah. Nothing sure about that. You know, you know, uh Big Todd got in the in the alumni game with me. Yeah, this year. You're gonna drop the first time he touched the court in like five years. How was he? Still got it? Well, uh well, the crazy part is is you know, it was me and I was with an older group of the guys, right? All really good players, but you know, it's 20 minute halves, long game. So, you know, not all of them can can go that long. So I'm like, Dad, I'm like, if you're coming, you might need to bring a pair of shoes. Like, be be ready. And so he's like, okay. So he comes, you know, he's watching. One of the guys goes, Tada, I need to sub, I need you to come in. And I'm like, okay, I'm like, Dad, just take it easy out there. He comes in, I pass him the ball, and he's like, they leave him open, obviously, because you know, you're you're not thinking much of him. And he starts shooting, and I'm like, what is he doing? And then he hits it. I'm like, no warm up, no stretch, no nothing. I'm hasn't touched a court in five years. Probably either a ball, and he just goes out there and shoots a three and hits it. And I'm like, okay.

SPEAKER_04 20:02

Probably saying something quietly under his breath as he ran away, just hitting a three, just one for one. Here's the real question, though, with the 20-minute how was his yeah, how is his cardio?

SPEAKER_00 20:11

Oh it was terrible. That's all that matters. It's like me with the Steve.

SPEAKER_04 20:19

It's like me with the Steve Weil free throw contest. Like, it's not a big deal, but you gotta, you know, you gotta play it up a little bit. But you coming from such a a good basketball family with a dad who had a crazy journey in the game of basketball and was able to overcome a true tragedy while he was still in high school, you know, in the workforce and and losing his hand, and and you know, the way that uh the way that he was able to battle back and the strength he showed, you know, and then having your mom be a college athlete as well. I love she posted her throwback basketball picture the other day with her hair. Like that put her at about six foot eight on the court. Yeah, that was a lot of hairspray on the court. I don't know how like if they sweat with like with that in their eyes or burn your eyes. I didn't have to burn too much.

SPEAKER_02 21:04

I have no idea. I'd never use any product for a game. Yeah, for a game.

SPEAKER_04 21:10

For a game, let's let's yeah. For a game. For a game, you've never used it, but let's be honest.

SPEAKER_02 21:14

Product in general.

SPEAKER_04 21:17

We lost it and goals anything for the beard? No, just beauty, just my natural beauty. That's a beard beauty, my God-given beauty, one of one. You know, it it it it's it's great. I love that that we can laugh in here too. And that's a whole the whole point of this, too, is to get in here and to it and spread some laughter. But you didn't have the easiest time here. Wasn't the easiest journey, especially with some of the injuries you went through. Coaching change heading into your senior year. What are the some what are some of the things besides your faith that you lean on to help you get through those tough situations, through those challenges, through some failures? Because I know not everything here went like you wanted it to, but it wasn't picture perfect. You had to fight through a lot of adversity. What are some of the things that you use and go to outside of your faith to help you get?

SPEAKER_02 22:00

that you know I I I think relationships are huge right and it's it's something that can help propel you right but going being able to rely on you be able to rely on Tori be able to rely on my people my family right those are things that can help uplift you when you get down on yourself or you find yourself in areas that might be a little bit difficult right so so for me building a really good relationship with Tori helped my career here at my senior year and it helped him as a coach right because relationships are a two-way street yeah and you didn't know him no really you knew who he was I'm sure before coming in but didn't know him at all. Yeah no not at all and uh and I always say like when you're out there playing on that court obviously CC it's a tradition like you want to live and die for CC high right but at the end of the day it's also like that coach right are you going to run through a brick wall for him right when you go out there are you gonna try and make him look as good as he can right because at the end of the day that's how coaching is you got to have the players that go get it done for them. Yeah right so it's a it's a selfless thing as well but it's a relationship thing. I care for his success as much as he cares for mine. Right. So if we're both in on that together then we might as well go at it together. Right. And and and it's the same thing for you. You're always rooting for me no matter what it is. If I went to go play lacrosse you would have been out there on the lacrosse field. Right. So it's just that aspect of the people can help push you to be your best self. Right like at U of D, for example, one of my uh trainers Ian love Ian to death right absolute dog always in the gym always there to help push me right on the days where I was like you know what maybe I can just you know kick my feet up and relax maybe I'm not feeling it today I get the text hey let's get shots up at 12. And I'm like me being the guy I am I can't say no I'm not gonna get shots up Ian no I I'm like oh now I feel guilty. I got to go get shots up. So then we go get a workout and it and it's like people can hold you accountable right and that's surrounding yourself with good people that can help push you to be better in all areas right and it's the same thing when it comes to something like faith right having people that are all about that they'll keep you keep you dragged in right you don't feel like going to worship they'll bring you they'll put it in your face right and obviously not in like a shovy way but right that they know what you're about and they know what you should be doing with your sometimes it it does have to be in a shovy right though to be completely honest.

SPEAKER_04 24:19

Like if someone's like you you used the perfect analogy earlier if someone's cold in their faith or even lukewarm like there were certain times and I'll be dead honest like through Tori's journey and I've I've said this a hundred times on here and I'll say it every single episode the picture I saw of Tori getting baptized is one of the most emotional things I have ever witnessed besides my marriage, birth of my children, stuff like that. Like it it hit me that hard at a point where I wasn't I would say I was simmering between lukewarm and being really hot for my faith but seeing the change in him hearing you come in and talk about your faith like that for me is what stokes the fire of my faith seeing people I care about carry that same flag and walk in that faith like there's nothing better for me. Because I get to see the people I care about grow. As an AD like I yes do I want Tory to win a state championship of course I do. Like I want that for every coach. However I'm just as happy seeing him grow in us making it to whatever level we make it to or wherever the basketball journey ends because it's bigger than that. It's about the people that's it for you you've been around so many good people your whole life whether it's traveling with basketball just having good people in your dad and mom's network around you who are some of the mentors that you lean on outside of your CC community and just people that you've had there in your corner your whole life besides your family too.

SPEAKER_02 25:38

Yeah I you know I'd say first one that really comes to mind is probably Scott Menzer. You know he counts as part of this we'll I'll allow that one counts as part of the CC family but we'll for all intents and purposes go ahead we'll allow this you know uh coach Scott he's just you know kind of kind of the whole process of how I got to where I am right I was playing you know for rec basketball as a little kid nothing nothing intense nothing crazy and then my dad obviously knew him from a young age and he was like hey I'm gonna try and get you on their AAU team which at the time it was team all out and then transitioned to Grey Lakes Warriors and now Warriors is a big AAU thing nowadays but uh yeah so he put me on that team and and honestly like beyond basketball that was the best thing for me because like that group of guys like our AAU was I think it was my age level and then we had one team above us that was a year older like all of us to this day all talk. We're all connected Juber for the first time right Landon Dylan Smith uh Dwayne Ray that's a good squad right Cam Mays who I always come back here to work out with uh you know you had Max Anderson Angelo Rodriguez Brady Bikita was on that squad like you there was just there were so many players yeah there was Brady exactly the same height he is now how many same guy uh you know and but it's like crazy like all those guys and then we all end up kind of going to high schools in similar or the same spot and and it it's like uh it the brotherhood started before you even knew it right so it's just really cool because it's like we all since I think that was like third or fourth grade all were on the same program and then actually my fifth grade year I transferred to uh oh my God what what I went to a different elementary school and it was uh the same one where Juber was in it Ryan Hershey uh and a couple other of our guys that were all on the same AAU team and we literally all were in the same class at elementary school teacher hated jobs yeah it's yeah no yeah and then we got you and Juber here too right for those of you out there that don't know Juber Julian Menzer golfer at Michigan State right now just absolutely classic young man but thought he was a hooper at a young age had the greatest sock collection if you remember I used to always dog him about his socks freshman year.

SPEAKER_04 27:59

Yeah but that's it it's crazy now think about that like that's when you were a little kid now you're heading into your junior year of college right I mean think about how quickly that time went. Yeah you know when you look back on your journey and and and once again you're still very young in your journey what are some of the highlights for you what are some of the things you're look you look back and you're like you know what this moment made me a better person. This challenge made me a better person.

SPEAKER_02 28:22

Share some of the things that you helped make you take a huge step forward in the young man you continue to become yeah you know I you know I feel like a good area to start is is where failure leans farthest right so for for me kind of going into my freshman year here, right? We it was COVID year. So it's kind of chaotic and the only where only area we could go get workouts in or go get shots up and or play pickup was you go over to the Novi middle school right across the street and they got the outdoor basketball courts. So we'd go over there and like that's where we'd get runs going with all the varsity freshmen J people driving by making sure you're playing in a full hazmat suit right exactly you know make sure you guys wipe the ball down before right and uh and so that was really where it all started right that's where I met Chaz because it was Chaz's first year coming out who's you know a brother for life now and uh and like I'm just this freshman guy. I really want to play varsity like that's really what I want to do. And in the whole time you know obviously COVID you put on a couple pounds so I wasn't in the best of shape but still me still got the shot just you said that very very slid that on in and uh and so you know I knew I I needed to be in a lot better shape to be a varsity athlete and uh I really needed to lock in to a bigger extent and uh and COVID obviously handicapped some of that but you can't blame it all on that. At a certain point you have accountability right I could have been better with diet eating all those things which now I've learned and that's something I'm very good at where earlier in the process I wasn't but I didn't let that hinder me. I grinded worked it out really got better and then I found myself on varsity as a freshman right and and even though like that's a big accolade itself like I always wanted more. I wanted to be a solidified starter as a freshman and that wasn't fully the case right I was on and off some games I start some games I wouldn't and to me it's like that's still failure because it's like my farthest goal I want to get to at that year was be a varsity starter. Right. So you got to do a lot of things to make sure you don't lose that opportunity right and then grinding into the second year sophomore year still got juniors and and and seniors that are older right so me as a starter is not a guarantee you got to come and you got to own it every day. Right? You got to grind for your spot every single day and show that it is mine. Right. And that's the same thing to carry on to the college level right you get to Detroit mercy I had a great freshman year right that wasn't just given my expectation was nothing there. It was for me to maybe even redshirt right but I locked in the entire summer I did my job I worked out I killed in practice and they said you know what we're gonna take a chance on you came in healthy finally for the season that definitely didn't that definitely probably four years 100% healthy yeah and uh but yeah I mean that was just the process and it's it's earning your way right you got to show every day it's an uphill battle right and that's how it's gonna be for these high schoolers nowadays. It's uphill battle in college sports right it is not an advantage for you it is a disadvantage right so you got to work that much harder to get an opportunity at that level and uh and for me I really felt that kind of going in and hey we're gonna take a chance on you some games oh hey you're gonna play a lot some games you're not gonna play a lot right so that first half of the season for me was total ups and downs right I'd have great games and I'd have games where I don't even touch the court or or I might just not have played well right and and that's accountability as well. It's not always the coach's situation. A lot of times it's just make the most right you go in and you got a great look at a three pointer maybe hit the shot right don't miss right so at the end of the day that's sure that's oh well you're not perfect you're gonna have failure yeah you're gonna have failure but don't lean towards it don't expect it right I I I always say don't go into a game saying you know well if I shoot 50% that's great. You might not have the chance to shoot 50% you might only get one shot you better hit that shot right so you can't expect failure. You should only look at success. You should only see yourself winning right or else you're already one step in the wrong direction if you're looking at the failure. So you know that that was the whole process and I grinded it out freshman year to where that second half of the season I really got in a position where I'm like I'm just doing me.

SPEAKER_04 32:37

I'm out there playing basketball right and that built into my sophomore season having fun man having fun kids you could still have fun you can still have fun playing college athletics doesn't have to be a job it's gonna feel like but you can still have fun.

SPEAKER_01 32:50

Right I think you had a cheat code too with your with your dad yeah having someone who understood how to how you can how to help challenge your process yeah challenging channeling your mental what to focus on what not to focus on that held big time man and I think that's where the kids at the high school level need to they need to know how important that is and that's something how how what would you say to a high school kid you know I'm saying that like like what would you say to a high school kid that can help him navigate that adversity you talked about it you've had like you had your dad you you you dealt with some adversity as a freshman and stuff like that. We I know great great players that are coming up I know current players that have dealing that that deal with a lot of adversity what would you tell them in the moment hey man that that can help them you know maybe put them on the same trajectory that you're on now. You know what I'm saying?

SPEAKER_02 33:50

What what what kind of advice would you give them you know I the the biggest thing is just adversity is a good thing not a bad thing. Right fighting for your spot that's where you want to be at right you don't want to be the best player in the gym right so and and that's the negative that people feed people these days and and these kids that are trying to become successful is well you're not gonna play here so you should probably go here where you can play. No right grind it out if you fail you fail. But at least you can say you tried right don't take the easier route take the harder route because at the end of the day you're gonna be better for it. Right? Like when I came here it was a very good team a lot of great guys who all played high level basketball and we had some great college guys. And as a freshman I could have said you know what I'm just gonna go over to this school where I know I got a guaranteed varsity spot. I'm the man I'm the best player I don't have to worry about anything. No it's like I came here for expectations to be pushed. I wanted to become better and I knew I'd put myself in a spot by going against players that I thought were better. Not that I couldn't be better than them but the aspect is you don't want to be the best in the gym. Right? So people always look for these easier spots to succeed and and sometimes it's not about that. Sometimes it's about grind it out win out where you're at right because when you get to college you have no choice right if you only got one option which was the case for me I only had Detroit wasn't like I had the pick of the litter so that's the spot I had to go to right and you have now now you're at an elite level now you're with all division one guys. We're all on scholarship everybody here can play the game of basketball. Yeah right so you can't say okay I'm just gonna go to this school now it's easier. No they're D1 over there too right they're good college players too you can't you can't dodge it anymore right now you put yourself in a spot where you either win or lose you either push past or you fall behind. And that's an aspect that's people struggle with mentally to understand where it's failure is not a bad thing. If you cap out you cap out but at least you know you did your best where you were you know so it it's not always all about winning in terms of you get what you want sometimes it's about what you got going through the process. Right? They always talk about it's not where you're ending up it's the journey to get there. Right. So it's just gonna say you get molded by that in in that whole process right it it's supposed to suck. It's supposed to have hiccups you're supposed to bump into road bumps that are just like man I don't know how I'm gonna get past this or life feels terrible right now. Like you're in your downs and that's how it's supposed to work because the the stronger struggles then you push past those the greater your success is going to be the better you're gonna be for it right nobody got in life being great and being successful at what they do without just cruising to the top they had to fight through a lot of adversity to get there and whatever it is sports, business, right? This school right we we've accomplished a lot of things here buildings right adding this whole financial thing over here and then on top of that we're about to build a whole new stadium. You think that happens without a little bit of setback and push a little bit of struggle no it doesn't just hey let's get the money get the check right that's not how it works. No you got to do a lot of grind grind and gritty work in between to make that happen.

SPEAKER_04 37:08

People think we people think we wave a magic wand and we're just building whatever we want like we're attracting good coaches because we're giving them duffel bags of money we're recruiting kids duffel bag of money. It's like we're the opra like the Oprah's of handing out duffel bags like people just think like you get a scally you get a scally but it's not it's not like that in the in your mentality is very old school. Yes. Because it's fight or flight. Like you either fight for what you want whether it's healthy relationships in your own life with God whoever it might be or you run away from stuff like that. And it's just like any other challenge. I keep trying to tell kids and and I tell Brooks and Bo, you guys know how I am with them which I try to be and that's one thing I want to ask you after this though I try not to teeter across that line too much of daddy's coaching you know what I mean but I am constantly telling them I've told Tori this and it breaks me every time I say it I'm coaching them to survive when my wife and I aren't there anymore. You're not around I'm coaching them to survive as two brothers that love each other that are going to always be there for each other. And at some point it's just going to be those two when we're not here. Yeah you know with your dad having such a high level of knowledge in the sports psychology world and with so many great coping mechanisms I know he didn't just stay on you all the time mentally assassinating you with ways to cope and things like that. Did he kind of make it to where he would guide you a little bit and as you became older he became a more important resource because you understood the mental part of it. You think that grew your relationship with him as a sports doctor sports med doctor sports psychologist did it grow as you understood the mentality needed the older you got did you lean on him a little bit more with some of his professional knowledge yeah totally you know because that's a what a hack to have like what I mean right I mean the older you get the more struggle but he's still dad right and he's still dad so you know as you get older your problems get a little bit more serious.

SPEAKER_02 38:56

You get it right it's more grown up issues. How old are you TJ speak to us on your whys go ahead how old? I'll just let the people figure out how old okay I know my skin's pretty glossy but uh go ahead though as I get older like he had a ton of problems let's hear it's no good it's still getting issues growing all the way up but you know basketball real life scenarios and and you guys understand nowadays there's there's a lot of money on the line for just obviously college basketball but before that even happens right like it that wasn't guaranteed. You have to take the proper steps to get yourself in a position to do that. So right you you you really got to understand like oh wow like there's a lot on the line here if I play my cards right and I do this the right way I could put myself in a position to be very successful. You know and that's not because oh now I have it now I got to be successful. No it's the it's the journey like we talked about like it's a process to get there. If you don't take those steps you're not gonna end up at the destination. So you know he he always had a very good eye for just helping me kind of articulate and understand scenarios is not pointing a finger right like obviously he's always had his point of view as well as a human and as a father but he does a good job of understanding like hey this is where you needed to be better too right and that's that aspect like for example coach Tori he wasn't he's not a perfect coach he's not always getting it right every single time nobody is though nobody right so as he fails I fail yeah right sure he maybe could have done a better job one game of getting me the ball yeah I could have done a better job of getting the ball right because it's also I control my own destiny right there's a small amount of scenarios where somebody actually is trying to screw you over right so that and that's that's really the Sean trying to get us all the time back there. We see you trying to hide back though but like but like that is that's really the aspect like nobody's really trying to screw you over and there's a small percentage of people that do that and it stands out right so at the end of the day you control your own path right go out there and do it yourself. Don't point fingers don't get after a game ends badly for you say man coach Tory really just screwed me over he he he coached me terrible that game no maybe you just maybe you just had an off game give yourself a little bit of right so so that's really the aspect of it like some games I played sure I got mad because I didn't get a lot of shots and and this is at the division one level at Detroit right oh man I really should have got the ball more I needed to get more threes and sure they could have done that as coaches right but the other aspect of it is well you know what they were face guarding me the entire game right they they're in a zone and I go corner to corner what we usually run against the zone the guy didn't leave me once so it wasn't really even a zone it was more like a box and one at that point. So it's like yes sure you can run sets to get me the ball but at the end of the day it's not gonna that's not gonna be my game they want to take me out of the game that's fine let my other guys succeed let them get your own opportunity let them go do it and get it done and then they're gonna have to adjust yeah right but if I off-rip and over here like man I'm not getting the ball all this like they need to get me the you know no no no I get it they want to get me the ball blah blah blah like I could get all mad all frustrated no it it's the reality of the game it's not always gonna go how you want it to go right it's adjustments right this is how they're coming at you so this is what I'm gonna do they're gonna have to adjust after my guys get going and they start scoring because I know that's what they can do. Right? So you got to trust other people to help you be better. And that's the aspect like basketball is a team sport right they, my teammates are going to make me the best player I can be right and that's vice versa with the staff with the people you surround yourself in life beyond basketball. The people you decide are going to be your family the people you rely on. Those are who gonna make you the best you because you're surrounding yourself with people that have the best intentions for not only themselves but yourself. So it it it's a big factor in those things and and making sure you put yourself in spots to succeed. Right? Like you are who you are around. Yes.

SPEAKER_04 43:08

Tori as a coach for you you know we talk so much about making the kids better human beings bringing them closer to God you're also coaching the game of basketball yeah do you feel like the majority of the time you're really coaching them as human beings and to bring them closer to God more than basketball? Because like I'll constantly say like I don't care that you're a basketball player and a young man. I care that you're a young man. Yeah that just so happens to play basketball. Yeah is that has that helped you change the way you coach a little bit looking at the coaching them as human beings more than anything?

SPEAKER_01 43:37

Yeah it it really has. I mean when I got into this thing when I was a I was on both sides. I was a player and then now as a coach. As a player I didn't know all the hats that my coach wore until I became a coach. And then when I became a coach I realized the impact that I have it and and it could be a negative impact or it could be Positive impact in how I approach it, um it it it ha it holds power in a sense. Yeah. Like if I don't know you or try to get to know you and know, like, hey man, so you may be dealing with something, but I'm always hard on you, right? Man, I there's nothing that you're gonna take from that. You're never gonna take anything positive from that. You're gonna shut down and I'm never gonna get through you. You're never gonna to improve because as much talent as you have, and as we we deal with it. A lot of kids have the talent, but they just need the other aspect. They need to be nurtured in certain situations. Some guys need to be challenged a little bit, some guys need to be loved, some guys need to just be I just need to hear them and be vented to. They just want to get certain things off their chest. So um, as I got into this thing, I I it became less about coaching the X's and O's. We do a lot of that in the off-season. We spend a ton of time in the, and that's why our off-season is so important. We do a lot of our skill sessions, we get a lot. Uh, we get better individually and stuff like that. But then during the season, our kids are also dealing with a different different other things that's off the court that they may bring onto the court. So I gotta be able to see that, navigate, help them navigate through that, and and help them to focus on certain things um that can help them succeed when they're on the court. But also, I'm hey, after this, let's how can how else can I help you? You know what I'm saying? Be in a lending ear. So when I got into this thing, it was about just man, win, win, win. Then as I understood what God was trying to do through me, how he was trying to use me. Um what I've experienced as a player, how that has helped me become a better coach. Um God been doing certain things in my life, bro, that has made me a better coach. You know what I'm saying? Really made me a better coach. And um the hats, the mini hats that I wear now, again, it may be 10% coaching. It's 90% fundraising. Yeah. Fundraising. I'm a mentor. Like you play a father figure role in certain guys' life. Yeah, um, you have to be their friend, you have to be a therapist in certain moments, you have to be the mediator in certain situations. It's you're wearing different hats. And just knowing this, just knowing that, um it uh it for me it helps. And that's what I got into this thing for. I I I God allows me to still be in uh close to the game, the game that I love, uh, while also um giving me gifts. He he equipped me with gifts um to help these young men recognize the strengths that they have within themselves and use those strengths, uh, these qualities that they have um to accomplish goals that they've dreamed of. So that's you know, watching you guys kind of get to that level and succeed at that level, um, that brings me so much joy. Watching guys that I'm coaching now receive scholarship offers, you your little brothers that you've had. Like these are like your little brothers. So watching them um learn and understand and then take coaching and then apply the lessons that they're learning, apply it to everyday life to help them um to achieve things, to get to where you're trying to go. Um, man, just watching them, it brings so much joy to me. Um that goes beyond as a player. I used to think, man, this, oh man, that's great winning it. But then I got into the coaching thing and watching them succeed, man, bro. I man, I just be it brings me tears, man. It brings me tears. So I love it.

SPEAKER_04 47:37

Take it from two older guys, PJ, two grizzled vets. It it does. You'll start to notice, and and I'm sure you see it though, when you see guys like Andrew Walker be successful. Even some guys you played with that are friends of yours or even against them. I know you have a good rapport with a lot of guys you played against. Yeah, even to see them be successful, I know you take joy in that. Tori, you described what it means to be a great teammate as well. Yeah. It's a lot of what you do as a coach. Yeah, sometimes you got to be that father figure for another teammate that's the same age as you. Yeah. Because they don't have that mom or dad at home to go empty their bucket to or have someone to refill their bucket. I mean, there's so many different roles you have to fill. One thing I want to touch on is a challenge, it had to be a challenging situation. I want I want you to talk a little bit about your mentality going into it. You go into UAD freshman year, finally healthy, have a good season, right? Probably not up to your standard and what you wanted to accomplish, but probably could have gone into the portal after your freshman year, right? Had I remember talking to you a little bit about it. You weren't too hot on the idea, felt like you had to come back and you had more to prove. Yeah. You come back this year, have a great season. Created more opportunities for yourself, more shot opportunities. We went to one game before we could even find our seeds because there's so much construction at UAD's or at Callahan. TJ Nadu for two had nine points before we even had the hunter called the worst hot pretzel in the country in Callahan. I'm gonna put that on record on table. Well, now I have no reason to go back to a basketball game unless one of our guys from this year goes there. But if, in fact, I ever come, please work on the hot pretzels. But you go through your sophomore year, you have a great season, you guys are a last second shot, last second possession away from going to the tournament. Yeah, right. You have a great year. Now you start thinking about the transfer portal. You're in a program that loves you, coaching staff that cares about you're in a good school academically, but I know you wanted something more. For you, how stressful was that re-recruiting process to go through again? Because it was like a flashback to high school. Probably a little bit better for you because you had more attention this time around in the portal than you did coming out of high school because of some of the injuries. So, what was that experience like?

SPEAKER_02 49:47

You know, it it's it's really like kind of heartwarming in a way. Because for me, high school, I wasn't.

SPEAKER_04 49:53

I don't know if anybody would would say it like that. So I'm I'm interested in it.

SPEAKER_02 49:56

For me, for me, it was because it was like I never had that attention in high school. I just had a bunch of kind of like fishing, like I was I was getting nibbles, but nobody ever nobody ever bit. So, you know, for for me, like I never had that attention where all these coaches at that level want me to come play for them. They want to coach me, they want me to be someone they want to mold their team around. And and like that's a really humbling aspect, like wow, you know, like I finally done what I'm supposed to do that I've always wanted to do, and now I'm here and it's staring staring me right in the face. So that aspect was really cool to me because it's like I finally made it type thing in terms of where I want to be in a success as a division one athlete in my basketball career, right? I have sustained an image that is positive in terms of how I've been able to go about my career. Uh you know, the the aspect that was tough is obviously I just don't like leaving. Like it took me a very hard, long time to really go through that thought process.

SPEAKER_04 50:58

Was that the toughest part for you, the emotional part?

SPEAKER_02 51:00

Yeah, just just because that's how I am. Like, I don't I've never been someone who hops from place to place. Like I played on the same AAU team for since I was like from third second grade. Which never happens. Yeah, so all the way up until junior year when Midwest got at me. And obviously that's just an opportunity where it's like you're playing against the best players in the country. So it's like to an extent, it's like you have to like yes, you want to be loyal, but then there's that other aspect of you can't pass up opportunities when you're ready to take that next step up. You can't pass up on it, right? Because you got to go prove, and it's also a personal thing. I want to prove I can be one of the best.

SPEAKER_04 51:38

Yeah, you belong there the whole time.

SPEAKER_02 51:40

So, so and and that's the thought process. And at the end of the day, everybody for me when I left my AU team, all happy for me. All dude, like great, like go kill, right? Like you're you're meant to go up that level, right? So it's that happy part, that success of okay, he's ready, he's taking those steps. And and that's the same thing at this level, right? Like I felt like, you know what, I did what I needed to do, I had a great year. We turned Detroit Mercy's program back around, and I'm very happy and proud about that. And right now I've put myself in a situation where I can now go take a step up and play at a much higher level of basketball that I've always dreamed of being able to play at. Right. So for me, that was the the part where I'm like, it's hard because you don't want to leave where you're at. I loved where I was at. It's close to home. I got all my people that come to the games, right? It it's not something that's a negative to to stay. But at the end of the day, you always gotta pursue the harder route. I need to go be in a gym where I might not be the best player. So now my game can even evolve at a higher level. Go play against teams day in and day out that it's not a guarantee for me to go dominate. I gotta go make sure I'm ready to go dominate them. I gotta make sure I put in more work. I gotta do extra length to make sure that I can succeed at that level. Yeah, right. So it's just about pushing myself to be the greatest I can be at this game. And it's not a you don't have a long time with it, right? You're it's not no guarantee you get next year or the year after, or you get a full, you know, professional career going overseas, NBA, whatever it is. Like nothing's guaranteed. You gotta take care of it.

SPEAKER_04 53:15

Maybe your journey, you're gonna say maybe your journey just ends with the CC like alumni league. Yeah, like maybe it does. And I'm not saying that, like, no, it's not a like I said, I joke with you about playing alumni softball, right? We talk about unsung hero for a couple games that you came out, but that that's the thing, though. You like everybody's journey is different. Just totally it's important for young athletes to hear what you're saying, just to meet yourself where you are, right? You don't have to be like anybody else, it's not gonna be the same. You not getting recruited in high school. Like, I know you felt a certain type of way about that. I know that it bummed you out. No matter how mentally tough you are. I remember us having talks about it. I know you talked to Tori about it. Our young athletes today, and even some of the adults, need to understand it's okay to give yourself grace as long as you're putting the work in. Right. I always know I'm gonna fail. Yeah. Like you said, I don't want to be the best player in the gym or here or the smartest person in the room. I want to put people around me that are gonna make me better. They're gonna make me level up, they're gonna make me question is there something I can do to love people more? Just to be a better person. That's what I like about you. I know it wasn't all in granted. We're not gonna talk NIL money and stuff like that. I know that that does play a part when you come into the portal and stuff like that, which is great. What made you fall in love with Tulane to understand and to help you feel like this is the place that's gonna fill that last quarter of my bucket athletically?

SPEAKER_02 54:36

So for me, obviously, like the process of when you get all these coaches calling in because you can't facilitate, you know, 30, 40, 50, how many coaches it is. You can't be facilitating all of them on a day-to-day basis, right? You have to dial in and be able to create a list of hey, these are the top schools I really like and this is what I'm targeting, and everybody else. Like, thank you for reaching out. I really respect it. But like the this is what I'm focused on. If things change, I'll I'll get back with you.

SPEAKER_04 55:04

You know, not fun telling people no, is it?

SPEAKER_02 55:06

No, no, we didn't have to do that too much in high school, but never is it never is because there's a lot of really good people out there, a lot of coaches that I talk to that I gain relationships with that are are happy for me. Like they saw me commit to this school, Tulane, and they're like, you know, go kill. Because they know you're they know you're doing it. They know you're they're they know you are in it for the right reasons. They always say it's like speed dating, right? You gotta create this relationship really quick with guys, and like figure out how how good of a fit they are for you. And and for me, obviously, I knowing Tulane was down south, a really cool school, beautiful, and then obviously it was a really good academic school, and then they compete in the American conference. So, like for me, that was a conference where I'm like, that's a great step up. And I could have gone higher, I could have gone to a bigger school, bigger program in terms of you know, maybe going to the ACC, the Big Ten, the SEC, Big 12, right? Like schools like that are interested, but to me, right, I want to go play basketball. I don't want to just go be at a big time school. Yes, so I'm repping this this label of this big time program, but then I go not not even touch the court. No, I want to go somewhere that's high level that I can go compete and play at a high level and continue to develop, right? So this school was all for that. And they want me to come there and they want me to go kill. They want me to go play my game and excel. Right. So for me, that was a huge process. And then just the coaching staff was like so, so warming and like heartfelt. Like all those guys, just very genuine people, all happy for me to for whatever step I go in, you know, and like just to have relationships with some of those guys like immediately. It was really cool how just like genuine, like we say, it felt because it's hard, like it is speed dating, so it's like you only know these people for maybe a week at most if you actually talk to them for a long time. So you just nothing, which is nothing. So you don't know if you're getting screwed over or if it's genuine, is kind of the best way to put both of it. Like you want to make sure that you put yourself in a spot to succeed, not fail, or not regress, or have to go back down.

SPEAKER_04 57:10

When those guys, when those coaches talk to you and anybody else involved in the process, could you feel the culture through them?

SPEAKER_02 57:17

100%. And and that was the biggest thing. Like, I went down there and it just felt like felt like home. Like, I'm like, wow, I feel like I feel like I could live here, I feel like I could be here on a day-to-day basis. The staff was just funny, goofy.

SPEAKER_01 57:30

You told me about the the differences of how they were all supportive, they were there compared to the one school that the head coach may have been there, but and and and that's like the biggest aspect for me, right?

SPEAKER_02 57:43

Not everybody, not everybody cares. But like for me, I I wanted a staff where it's like I love these guys. Like they're I feel like beyond basketball, I'm gonna have relationships with them. Yeah, beyond those types of things. I want to be able to know I can call them up whenever I want after my career. Like, same thing I got with Tori right now. Like, that's exactly what I was looking for in a college environment, is a situation where I can go back whenever I want and it's doors open. Yeah, right. So to me, like that's really what I'm looking for, and that's what I felt there. So that's kind of and that's how you have to gauge it. Like, especially for these high schoolers right now, or or even kids in the portal, like just because you get the big time school to hit you up doesn't mean it's the best situation for you, right? Like, go where you can play because at the end of the day, not playing sucks, right? And I and I didn't I unfortunately like not in a in a cocky way, but I haven't experienced that. Like, I really sat here and talked to myself. Like, I was like, Well, you know what? I high school, I played all four years of RCD. I'm like, and I played all the games, then I got to college, I started half the season as a Division I freshman at Detroit Mercy, started all my games sophomore year. Like I've always been playing, I've never not played at any level I've been at.

SPEAKER_04 58:59

So I'm like, the only time you didn't though, if you really think about it, is when you were injured. Yeah. Yeah. Which is the toughest, one of the toughest things to go through mentally because you can't put work right. Your teammates don't know how hard you want to be back or how hard you're working to get back. So you you did, you just didn't realize how strong that adversity made you. Because I'd rather have you face it with an injury than in basketball. I'm happy as hell that your basketball career has been, I can't say as smooth as it's been, but it's worked out like it has. Yeah. Because you're still there's still room for growth. You're still growing as a young man and as a basketball player in your faith and everything else. Like the sky is the limit. And one thing you kept mentioning throughout this whole thing, and the last thing I, and we'll, we're gonna wrap this thing up with a pretty little bow at the end of it, with something you guys aren't prepared for, which I love. But the thing that I love that you touched on repeatedly is relationships. Relationships. That's what life is all about. I told the story how I substitute taught. I definitely should not tell this on here, but I heard a story of a person who substitute taught in a chemistry class. That person said to the class after they closed the door, fellas, are any of you guys going to be chemists? Everybody in the classroom said no. I said, take what you need to from this class, learn how to relationship build. I didn't say it. I'm sorry, excuse me. I didn't say that. The substitute. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it it it's true. It doesn't matter what you go into, you got a relationship build. You got to lean on the people that are part of your circle. Bring people in that fit part of your circle. And if they don't fit, audit them. Yes. Get them away. If they're negative, get them out of your circle. If they don't make you better, get them out of your circle. If they don't one of our lacrosse players, I'll tell you what. The best part about being here is kids like that. Welcome in kids. Let me cut my thought off just to give people a little context on TJ. TJ would be in my office every single day looking for snacks. He touched on his diet. I want to back him up on that. He used to eat a ton of muffins and cookies.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:48

Muffins are good.

SPEAKER_04 1:00:49

Unbelievable. The muffins are fantastic. Shout out to True Food. But I never understood how he could be so good at hoop with a good gas tank. He always looked tired, but still had gas in the tank, red face, curly hair all over the place with the worst diet, one of the worst diets in CC history. Just the muffin man every single day. Every day. It was it blew my mind. But one thing that we do to end the House of Hammers podcast, and this has been everything I thought it would be from having you here. And I thought it was important to have Tori in here too. I don't know hoop like you guys do, but just the fact that I'm able to bring two other people in here that know relationships like I do. And Sean's the same way behind the boards. He's the exact same. He's the type of guy that goes all in and out on his relationships, and it's made not only our experience here better, but our lives better. So my last challenge to you guys, once again, like I said, I used to have to kick TJ out all the time, every day out of my office. Some of the stories I won't go into, but trust me, he was a handful, but a welcomed handful. And to see you come back and the amount of pride that you take in who you are in your journey here at Catholic Central, what you continue to do and who you continue to become, that's why we love you. That's why we're always going to be here for you. And you know that. You know that when I say things like that, and you always, we always say I love you to each other when we hang up or when we text, you know that that love is real. And the short amount of time that you got to know Tori your senior year from now until then, you know that his love for you is real here too. And it's we don't want anything in return. Maybe if you want to send the the two-lane jet up for us, bring us down. Especially when it's negative 10. I noticed you went somewhere too where it's not negative 10 winter. But that's the thing, though. We care about you not because of anything you could ever do on the court, but for the amount of times that you've filled up our buckets just by being on campus, seeing you be good to people, seeing that smile that you always have, seeing Todd and Julie come back to games, being able to work with your dad now, with him being on staff here at school, your mom just always putting such beautiful comments on pictures of my family. Like you guys are part of our family and part of the fabric of Catholic Central. And just because you've graduated doesn't mean that that has lessened. If anything, you become more of a fabric of this place by continuing to come back and share your journey with us and with the kids. And we love you for that and we appreciate you for it. Now, my challenge every time we end a House of Hammers podcast, I make our guests give one positive tip to the viewers, the listeners. I don't care if it's one person, four people, four thousand, it doesn't matter. If somebody can take away something positive from this podcast, mission accomplished. I know we've done a good job. So I'm gonna start with Tori since he had to do this before. Tori, give the people a little positive knowledge to take away.

SPEAKER_01 1:03:30

Um, just to summarize everything that we've been through and just something I that that's in my head as I'm just like thinking about this group of guys that I have um is um audit your circle. Um I think when you audit your circle and you know um that you have the right people in your circle, um like I like you talked about earlier, TJ, um you are who you hang around. Um if you hang around um people who have a uh who have a drive to succeed and um who are faith-based type people, that's that's what you're gonna do. But if you're hanging around people who um don't have any ambition to to succeed or don't have any drive to to do anything positive, you're gonna that's what you're gonna be attracted to. That's what you're gonna be drawn to. So um audit your circle, make sure you got the right people in. Um and then keeping God first, man. Uh God has put amazing people into my life. Um and these people have not only helped me on the court, they have helped me in life, they have helped me become a better uh man of God, they have helped me become a better, uh, better husband, better friend, better brother, um better everything in life because of how what they put into and pour into me and then what I can pour into them. So audit your circle, man. Make sure your circle is nice.

SPEAKER_02 1:04:53

Love it. Hot Tati, let's hear it. Yeah, you know, the biggest thing I'd say to take away from everything here is it's okay to not be great at whatever you're doing sometimes. Like it's all about up and downs in this life, right? You're not always gonna be hot in your faith, you're not always gonna be grinding every single session and whatever sport it is and being the best you at that sport, right? You're not always gonna be going crazy in the classroom with all A's, like you're not always gonna have everything going your way. There's always downs, right? But it's understanding those downs and it's surrounding yourself with, like we talked about, great people, great relationships that can help bring you back up. Right. I'm not gonna sit here and say I'm perfect and none of us are, right? My faith isn't always great, and it's not always the best. But at the end of the day, it's about striving to make it that. It's about always pursuing a bigger goal, a stronger goal, and have those aspirations to be the best you, right? And it's about, like I said, putting yourself around great people, like my brothers right here.

SPEAKER_04 1:05:51

But I will say this this is the best version of your hair that we've seen. Cause in high school, when you had the I don't know if you perm that or what, but when you went with the Baby fro. Remember when you had the baby fro?

SPEAKER_02 1:06:02

That's all natural.

SPEAKER_04 1:06:03

Yeah, that was mad.

SPEAKER_02 1:06:06

It's actually a little bit long right now. I need to get a haircut. That was mad. You remember the muffin topic?

SPEAKER_04 1:06:11

It was perfect for what he ate daily at lunch. Oh man. But great, phenomenal points by both you guys. Yeah. I would say give yourself some grace.

SPEAKER_01 1:06:19

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:06:20

Don't be afraid to give yourself some grace. There's certain days when you're only, and I take this right from the book, The Four Agreements, which is one of my favorites. Give yourself some grace. If you're feeling at 50% that day, that's okay. Don't beat yourself up over it. Just give yourself, give everybody else all of that 50%. There's days when I feel 100%, I might give 105. And there's days when I'm just not feeling it. But I know when my feet hit the floor, I have to give whatever I have in me to my people because I care about myself enough to do that. Once again, you gotta love yourself before you can pour love into other people. However, you have to figure that out, whether you have to self-audit, whether you have to audit your circle, whether you got to find more people to put up around you to stay positive and be the best version of yourself, do that. And if you fail, it's okay. Give yourself some grace, fail forward, keep hammering, do what you got to do to be the best version of yourself for the people you love and for yourself on a daily basis. We can't do it alone. We're on this journey together. I'm so lucky to have people like Sean Solva in my corner, Tori Jackson in my corner, TJ Nadu in my corner. Obviously, Chris Okoye, who's usually sitting in this podcast, he's another one. There's plenty of people around here, legends like Father Elmer and so many other great individuals who help pour into us. Just give yourself a little bit of grace and make sure that you remember you don't have to be great to serve, but you have to serve to be great. And when all else fails, continue to give to the 1928 club. You know I got to give that shout out, Sean. It's a tradition. Continue to give to the 1928 club to support great things like this podcast and the other podcasts we have and to keep doing great things. On behalf of our co-host today, Coach Tori Jackson, one of my best friends, TJ Nadu, somebody who I consider a great friend and my little brother. On behalf of the House of Hammers podcast, episode 16, when all else fails, we thank you guys. We love you guys and keep hammering. Thank you.