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House of Hammers
Welcome to House of Hammers — a podcast where iron sharpens iron and faith fuels perseverance. Each week, your hosts dig deep into stories of mindset, motivation, and servant leadership, reminding us to focus on "roots, not fruit" — building strong foundations before chasing results.
Through real conversations, spiritual truths, and guest insights, House of Hammers challenges you to grow in grit, grace, and purpose. Whether you’re leading a team, a family, or simply yourself, this is your space to be sharpened, strengthened, and inspired to serve. Grab your hammer, it’s time to build something that lasts. 🛠️
House of Hammers
Perception, Sports Psychology, and Maximizing Your Potential | Todd Nadeau '80
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In this episode of House of Hammers, we welcome Todd Nadeau ’80 — former three-sport athlete at Catholic Central, Albion College basketball player, and respected sports psychology coach who continues to mentor Shamrocks today.
Todd shares his journey of overcoming adversity after a high school injury and how that experience ultimately shaped his purpose in helping athletes navigate the mental and emotional side of competition. The conversation dives deep into identity, pressure, perception, and the challenges today’s athletes face in a world filled with expectations and comparison.
Todd also reflects on the importance of understanding perception, maximizing the gifts God gives us, and living as a light for others both on and off the field.
Ladies and gentlemen, Shamrock Nation, welcome to the House of Hammers, episode 17. We have had some great engagement on here, tons of positivity, tons of helping people fail forward, fail big, and every other kind of hack you can think to help you get through your day, to help you plant your feet in the morning, give grace to God, start over at zero and prove it all over again. Very blessed to bring back co-host Tori Jackson again. Tori, happiest hack to have you here. Anything great happened in your life over the course of the weekend? Anything you want to share with everybody?
SPEAKER_00Just spending time with family, man, around this time. That's the best thing I can ever do, man, with how busy our schedule gets, uh, with the summer schedule that we got coming up. Uh, the best thing I was able to do this weekend, man, was just plug into my family and cut the grass, man. That's my honeydew list. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, trust me. I got I already have mine planned out for this whole weekend and it's only Monday. So I feel your pain. No offense, honey. I'll get it all done and try to figure out how to balance it. But uh one thing that I love to talk about with you is the message that you got from Service on Sunday. So I'd love for you to share that with the people. I know that we we listen to the same thing.
SPEAKER_00So yeah, so we were discussing um we were discussing James. We're our our our word of the year for the most part is uh uh closer. And James 4 and 8, uh draw closer to God, he will draw closer to you. And uh, we were just kind of discussing um ways, um, mapping out certain things that we need to do in order to draw closer to God. And uh one of the biggest things was just um how we should seek him, be intentionally seeking God. Everybody can kind of talk about seeking him, doing certain things, but um intentionally seeking him, uh like uh uh pouring into them, like a like a father pours into a son. Um, we need to pour into God. That relationship has a two-way street, you know what I'm saying? He chooses us, but we still have to do our part in order to you know pour into that relationship. So um, Pastor Jamie returned and uh, you know, full of fire and brimstone per usual. Yeah, so it's amazing, amazing church service, man. Uh uh always a refresher for me each week, man. So um great.
SPEAKER_02I've seen him on your thing. He's yeah, very passionate. Oh, he's passionate, yeah. Yeah, he's got a lot of energy.
SPEAKER_01He adds a little bit of humor to it too, which I think helps deliver the message. But yeah, he hammered that home yesterday about being intentional with it. And yeah, you know, it's a great segue to talk about our guest for this week, episode 17. And it's interesting because it's the first father-son tandem we've had on House of Hammers and back-to-back weeks. But uh, this is the boss of the house after Julie, of course. But a 1980 graduate of Detroit Catholic Central uh high school, he was a three-sport athlete here. It's been great for me to know about his journey. I didn't know our guest very well when we were younger, but getting to know him over the last probably 15 years, I would say, has been an absolute blessing. And watching him grow in his professional life, watching him grow in his faith as a husband, as a CC dad after being a graduate from this place has been absolutely awesome. And we were able to bring him into the building, into the athletic department this year as our sports sports psychologist. So without further ado, Detroit Catholic Central legend, uh a great friend, just a great person to go to when uh when times are tough or when it's time to celebrate something that's always there for us. Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Todd Nadu. This is where we pipe in the applause for you. John will add some sound effects on the YouTube, there'll be fireworks, stuff like that. But Todd, we're so fired up to have you here. And obviously, we had your son TJ on last week, which was uh which was great, but very excited to have you with us today. So thank you for coming in.
SPEAKER_02Well, it's it's great to be on, and it's uh great to be able to serve my alma mater and uh and uh just being a coach and doing sports psychology over the last 30 years. It's uh it's uh you see even more and more, I think, in this modern-day athlete that the need to to not only address the performance side of things from uh from that mental side, but uh you know the other side of the ledger as well. You know, mental health is a very important thing. Uh these kids are under a lot of pressure, uh not only here, not only academically in their sport, parents. It's a lot of expectations. And uh especially with these young athletes at a high school level, just kind of teaching them how to manage that, right? Developing those mind management skills that they need to uh, you know, be able to thrive in these kind of pressure, pressure situations.
SPEAKER_01It's it and knowing a little bit about your upbringing and obviously knowing your family very well, which is an absolute blessing. I told TJ you are you guys are part of the fabric here at Catholic Central. You know, we do this thing on here called the two-minute U. And it's some people do it in like 30 seconds, some people take a little bit longer. Me and Torah, I think our two-minute U's were about 20 minutes apiece. Big fans of our own selves, of course. Sean knows that. I say it every time. But in in in two minutes, give us give us the story of Todd Nadu. What makes you tick and and who you are and what your why is.
SPEAKER_02Uh, you know, I I think first and foremost, I came from a big family. My my my folks had seven kids or uh six kids in seven years. I was the oldest. Um you learned to lead early. Uh you you learned to take them with you. Um I think coming to Catholic Central then uh was a great opportunity to understand the brotherhood and uh being a part of something bigger than myself. Uh I think it was pretty amazing. My right before my my senior year, my hand was completely severed in a saw. Successfully reattached. It was the very first reattachment ever. It was a heartwarming story where my my doctor, who was not a man of faith, but uh many months later came in and we were just sitting talking while I was in the hospital, and uh he just talked about something moving in that room. My surgery was fifteen hours long. And there's nothing medically he could say as to why he was able to save it. Because it was the very first successful reattachment. But uh he felt a presence.
SPEAKER_0115 hour surgery then, probably today, half that time, if that, maybe.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, maybe maybe.
SPEAKER_01What year was that? Uh 1979.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, 79, right before your senior year. So I went on to have 23 major surgeries doing all the reconstruction and um You know, I think what came out of that was, you know, being here at school and being part Father Missy was a was actually the principal at that time. I'd go down, hang out in his office, and and Father Missy and I was just sit there and talk, talk about life. Um I was going through a very difficult time in my life, and uh you really uh you really understand the brotherhood and and the community uh that I was in, uh being able to reflect on that now, which is why it was so important for my son to come here and really understand all the God fearing men like you guys and other people here that uh have nourished him and and his faith and helped him to see things in himself maybe he wouldn't have seen had he not been in a great environment like this. So it uh it really shaped the the man I ended up becoming. I I had to uh figure out a lot of things. I still wanted had a dream to play college basketball. I designed a brace that allowed me to to uh and got that approved by the NCAA, so it allowed me to be able to um play basketball with one hand. I trained myself how to play with one hand. Uh ended up going to LBN College, played basketball there, graduated from Lbion. Um I've gone on to play a lot of basketball. You know, it's uh You're still a beast in basketball, too. You know, and it's kind of funny because you you know, you walk onto a court situation, you know, and you're the guy with one hand. Yeah. Right? And they they look at you. Yeah and I'm the last guy to get picked. Yeah. And then uh and I played. Yeah, you know, and then uh I remember we were playing with all these guys. I mean if you guys remember Phil Hubbard, played a bunch of so uh at Donna Wayne State, you'd have like a hundred guys on the sidelines and and five guys, six guys up there selecting. And so Phil Hubbard would always pick me as the fifth guy, and then all these guys are looking at me thinking, why is it going on here, right? You know, and so I think maybe the second or third time I looked at Phil and I said, I said, Why do you pick me? And he goes, I gotta tell you, Todd, you're the only one out here that's smart enough to know that I'm the man. And you give me the ball.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_02These other guys all think they're the guy. I mean, it must have worked out pretty well. We'd win and we'd sit there, we'd play two hours of basketball. Oh, and uh, and I just need the man.
SPEAKER_01So you you know, I want to take you back to that because before your senior year, you know, you're a three-sport athlete here football guy, basketball guy, and baseball, right? Yes. You know, and you're thinking I I've got college aspirations, you know, and and all of a sudden you're in this summer job and this happens to you. You weren't trained like you are at this point to be able to deal with that mentally. So is that is that one of the first points in your life when you started to figure out, hey, this is maybe something I want to do for a living to help people deal with things like this or other mental issues they might have. Is that is that kind of where the light bulb went on? And how were you able to get through that? What did you have to lean on to get through that situation?
SPEAKER_02Um I I'd say the turning point for me was probably uh my second year at LBN College. Um I uh became uh part of the Fellowship of Christian athletes, went on to be the president of the fellow Christian athletes at uh LBN. But uh it was powerful. I I had two amazing uh Morley Frazier and then oh my gosh, just saluted me, but the uh the the head coach at LBN at that time, the football coach went on to Indiana and uh and and those guys just poured into me and gave me an opportunity to to see myself in a different light and to to to give what I had and to recognize what I had and how God could move in my life and took me from you know going to mass on Sunday to really teaching me how to walk in my faith and what what a you know leader I could be in showing people how to overcome things uh given what I had been through. You don't always see yourself that way because it's you know you caught get caught in a storm and you're just trying to figure out how to get out of the storm. And uh and those guys just really empowered me. And all of a sudden I'm at a church that couldn't afford a pastor, and I'm doing doing the sermons. Um I'm out at Star Commonwealth, which was a juvenile facil facility, right outside Lbion, and I'm walking in and I'm cracking open the Bible and and teaching these young guys that have had really rough lives. And basketball was a great vehicle. And I'd go out there and play basketball with these guys and they'd look up to me, and and uh, you know, it was just we sit on, we talk about life and be real. And help them to see how they could use their faith to walk in those kind of footsteps and and become the young man that they could be, and to overcome all of the obstacles that were that were given to them in life.
SPEAKER_00It shows you how amazing uh God is and how he uses uh people uh the people he chooses, right? How he uses your your trouble or your trial to turn it into a testimony to glorify him, you know, to give him glory. And that's from hearing your story, Todd, to to seeing everything that you're able to do, to seeing how you help others, um it's it's special to watch. I've seen it, I've seen how it, you know, translate over to TJ, but just to hear, you know, what you had to deal with or had to go through, but then see where you are now and how special uh you know things have you know become because of how you just trusted and relied on God at that at that age, at that time, and that's that's amazing.
SPEAKER_01Well, especially to be the oldest child in the house, too. I mean, you're the hero to all your younger siblings, and by that time the other six had already been born, yes?
SPEAKER_02Correct.
SPEAKER_01So full family was already there. Here's the the the king kid of the house who's going through this. Did you see that affecting your siblings at all, or did they kind of just everybody rally around you to keep you positive, or did you feel like the fam the size of your family helped you get through that too?
SPEAKER_02You know, I think personally, once I got through the storm of all that had happened to me and really began to truly understand what God was calling me to do, um, it awakened me to a lot of that. Not only my my siblings because Lord knows it impacted them. Um but you know, my parents. Uh you know, everybody at the table here has kids. So we know that there's a lot of things in life we don't have control over. And to watch their son go through all the things that I had to go through in terms of 23 operations, probably over 130 hours of surgery I've had on this body and their scars from head to toe. Um but I gotta wear those proudly. And it was it you know, it was just amazing. And and and even now, I I think the biggest thing, uh I I work uh I got a practice at uh physical restorative medicine, and one of the nurses there came up to me, and I've been there probably six months, right? She goes, Oh, what happened to your hand? And I see her every day. Wow. And I looked at her and I said, You know what? That's the best compliment you could ever give me. For six months, yeah, and even though I don't want my accident to define me. Yeah, it's not who I am. Yeah. You know, my my identity is in Christ. Amazing.
SPEAKER_01I think young athletes today need to hear that, and I hope some of them tap into this and we'll share it all over the place. But they get so caught up in being a basketball player or a lacrosse player or an eSports kid, whatever else that might be, and that's where their identity is. And then when they struggle, and and you've worked with some of our guys here and some of our teams. For me, what I've noticed that the biggest thing is in them figuring out who they really want to be outside of the you know, the commitment graphics and the highlight films and all this other BS out there, because I'm I constantly try to tell them, guys, at some point, this kid's game that you play is is gonna end. You you have to put the basketball down. Now you can play, you know, alumni basketball or like me, you know, alumni softball stuff. Like TJ told a great story about you, how you came out and he was dominating like he's like he did, he actually was very complimentary. He's like, I'm telling my dad to probably slow down, you know, they kick the ball to them, he's wide open, he just drains his first shot. So he gave you a lot of he said he's the best in the family now, basketball-wise. He did say that. But I I do think you know, these kids struggle with who they're really trying to become because after all, the cameras are off and the glitz and glamour of of what you do as a sport, there's really just you and who you are. And that and that walk with Christ is a daily thing. For me, it's a daily thing. There's every single day I know that there's something tempting me to maybe take a wrong turn or a wrong decision or click on something on social media, whatever it might be, that just doesn't bring positivity to me. And I I love the way that you talk to our kids about how they deal with challenges and how they need to be rooted in Christ. And Tori, with you, like you said, your faith journey now is is probably or is stronger than it's ever been. For sure. Do you think that's helped you as a coach, as a servant leader and as a mentor?
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I'll say it it helps me, it has helped me a ton uh of how I communicate with our guys, how how much grace, because of the grace that God has given me and extended to us, how much grace that I now show towards our players. I know before my personal relationship with God, my temper, man. If somebody would make that same mistake over and over and over again, I would yo, next person, like now it's it's like I make that same mistake, and God still grants me an opportunity to still have a chance, to wake up, to still be a part of something special. The grace he's given me, man, like no no doubt. Why can't I give that to others? And that shows the true uh relationship that you do have in Christ. If if if God has extended me that grace, he expects us to live as a reflection of him. You know, uh, and and that's what I try to do. Uh and that's what I try to show to our guys, and and how I communicate with them when they have those down moments, when they when they have those great moments, how I, you know, keep them uplifted, congratulate them, how I I'm always rooting for them as the person, not even as the athlete. As the athlete, they're gonna have highs and lows. It's just now I find myself um just kind of helping them nurture nurturing their their their mentality. I wear, I was telling you last time, we had this communication. We wear more than the coaches had now, as coaches. It's mentors, a bunch of different things. So it's like having that connection with that kid to know what he needs at that moment. Um, but that comes from my relationship with God, because man, I less of you, more of him, less of me, more of him. That's the biggest that's the biggest key.
SPEAKER_01It's I got to go in the the uh the locker room. I think it was after we but after we beat Rice at Marion when you talk to him. So, you know, they're trying to clear people out, blah, blah, blah, this and that. So I go into the locker room and I'm listening to Tori talk to the team. Not a single word about the game for the first probably five minutes. Just about giving glory to God and how lucky they were to be together in a situation like that and as a family. And it was it was really heartwarming to hear because we care about these kids more than just what they do. We care about them as young men. And Todd, with you dealing with so many young athletes nowadays, what are some of the things that you see them struggling with the most and maybe some solutions we can give them?
SPEAKER_02Oh, that's a deep question.
SPEAKER_01I mean, there's probably 20 things you could you could name to be totally honest. In today's day and age, I mean, I'm sure you you see things that run the gamut.
SPEAKER_02You know, I think the biggest thing is uh if I hit a number one is the fact that uh most kids don't really understand perception. And you know, most of them could say, Oh yeah, that's kind of how you see the world. But I think for a lot of people, people don't really understand what yeah, what what is it? How do you define it? How is it that all three of us, even though we're God fearing men, probably see the world a little bit differently? And you can kind of tie that to your life experiences as we've been all talking about, because we all come from different journeys, right? And and those have defined us. And in and when you go deeper with that, what you really find out is that it's tied to really three fundamental concepts. One is beliefs, right? What are beliefs? And we all talk about it. But beliefs at the end of the day are things that we hold to be true. Now everything we believe, given we're all sinners, isn't always true. There's a lot of veils, or there's a lot of things that we're told or we may believe that are not true. So it's so important with an athlete to go over what beliefs are. What what are your beliefs? What are your beliefs in terms of basketball or football or your academics? Um you know, the second one is values. You know, that's a big part of the fabric here, right? Trust, respect, loyalty, honor, all of those kind of things. But do they really know what it means? And does it flow through that? That's the key. The third thing are rules. You know what? Rules govern our life. All three of those things govern the choices we make. So I do a lot of times I go in and just help a young athlete to see something that they believe to be true. You know, and it and it may not be true, right? That they they they may believe they're supposed to always pass the ball, even though they're much more of a complete player. Yeah. But that's a belief they had. Maybe that's something they've been told over and over again from a previous coach or from their parents, whoever it may be. Maybe sometimes it it's the opposite, right? Where they believe they're a scorer, but they're not really a scorer. So I I think I think a big part of what we really need to do is make sure that whatever their intentions are, their values, their beliefs, and the rules they govern their life by are in line and supporting those intentions. Or may I see athletes go astray because those things aren't in place. And so fundamentally that's why I always start. Alright, let's write those down, let's let's let's start believing in those. And that immediately transforms the way they see themselves and the way they move it. And and it's a very simple but deep thing to kind of get into. You know, most of what I do as a sport psychologist is try to help people get out of their own way. Right? We create a lot of internal obstacles. Uh we we put a lot of limits on ourselves. Um the only limit the good the good Lord gave us was time. And obviously we're all called to to maximize the things. We can do with the gifts he's given us and the time we have. And that's a goal. Um, I think beyond that, it's it's uh it's coping skills that those a lot of pressure. Um they internalize a lot of things. Um I know you two are on the same page with me. That you know, one of the most powerful things in life in in terms of keeping yourself focused is that self-talk. A lot of these kids don't talk to themselves very well.
SPEAKER_01Right? I mean that goes any age. Any age. I I work with it with Brooks and Bow, ten years old and eight-year-old. I mean, it it's I love that that concept and and that tool. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02You know, I've had the blessing to be able to study with a lot of people in terms of all the intricacies of how the mind works. And and we're very built to uh to be on defense, right? To to be fearful, to look for things. That that kind of negative side to us, that dark side, however you want to look at that. You know, and it's important to help kids be able to manage that. We our minds are quick to move to the dark side. And and you know, that's why our faith is so important, because it's it's about that light in those dark places that brings us up. And you know, so I work with these young athletes on self-talk. Right? If you can't talk to yourself in a positive way, an encouraging way, in a way that's gonna be productive, you know. And you know, I think the third thing is most kids don't understand focus, they don't understand what attention is. Right? And all three of us know that attention has a dem has a dimension of time to it. And we're the three places in time the past, the present, and the future. Okay. And you know, sports are played in the moment. But a lot of these kids have a tough time staying in the moment. They walk up to the batter's box and they're thinking about, hey, I don't want to let the team down. I I I you know, I I need to get a hit. And all of that creates anxiety, which interferes with your mind and body connection.
SPEAKER_01Well, even that, like kids nowadays are worried about the proper snippet of their walk-up song getting played. Like, I'm helping Brooks' 10-year-old team, and it's like, I'm like, all right, listen, remember, short path to the ball, this, you know, just little baseball-y stuff, you know what I mean? And they're like, Do you hear my walk-up song? And I'm like, So when you talk about focus, like you, and you remember when you know TJ was younger trying to get him to focus to do something, probably still a little bit now. TJ I'm sure it's not 100% focused all the time. But you know, you you talked about the kids understanding who they were. And you might have a kid on the team that feels like I should be jacking up 25 jumpers a game when really I'm I'm a better facilitator. When you're in those meetings with those kids, how gratifying is it? How much of a bucket filler is it to see that light go on, whether it's positive or negative, to where you know, as the guy sitting there helping them, okay, I can see the breakthrough in him. He's starting to realize it a little bit. Does that does that just get your heart pumping even a little bit more to know you're moving in that right direction with that young person you're working with or a coach even?
SPEAKER_02You know, it's uh it's it's amazing to see you know, just the light bulb and their minds go off and get it. And nobody's really ever explained how their minds work or what they can do to you know enhance their poor performance in terms of the you know, in terms of the way they see themselves and see their game. As you change your perception, you all automatically see a huge lift. Um I had the pleasure of working with uh Dave Wilson and uh the cross team. Those guys, you know, we I just did a go around, we just talked for like the first 20 minutes, and these guys were all just sharing you know how they felt like they were all on a different page. And they didn't have a common identity. So we created five pillars together as a team and we went over each one of those. And you know, we talked about you know, creating that identity and embracing one another's differences. That's what makes us world great. You know, we're all different. Yeah, so it's not about that, it's about embracing your difference and who you are. And each one of us as an athlete brings us something a little different to the table. But we're all part of that that that culture, that identity of what it takes to be a winning team. And being a winning team doesn't mean you have all the best players. But it has to do with guys embracing their role right and embracing something bigger than themselves. And it was so pleasure because I worked with those guys on Monday, Tuesday we went and they raised. They killed rights, brother.
SPEAKER_01Oh wow, that the day after that. And it's ironic on the field, they're like, it's all Mr. Naidu, thank God he was responsible for our 14 goals. But it does honestly though, it it did help them. Yeah, because our kids, as much as we push brotherhood and love and family here, they do internalize so much. So when I've I've had kids in my office before where I knew they were carrying something and just simply asking them, like, what are you carrying around with you? All of a sudden the kid will start crying or he'll open up a little bit. So I love that you get to do that because I don't know if I've ever told you guys might not know this, but I was gonna go into child psychology when I went to Hillsdale. So my first teacher, everything from the book, no personal experience, I just completely fell out of love with it. But I always love the idea of being able to have that aha moment with somebody. And I'm sure there's been times when it hasn't always been a positive aha moment where someone's had to self-audit or do some soul searching. One thing that I love that you've always talked about, and we've talked about it before, is your fire and ice concept. Absolutely love that. I think that's something that we get to share and we have to share with the listeners and the people out there. So if you could just give the people a a breakdown of the fire and ice concept and how it applies. You know what was interesting because I was I was working with uh uh the surprise that I remembered that. Yeah, yeah. I knew you would, but you kind of looked at me like, oh I'm more than just a pretty beard and bald head. Right, Sean? Yes. Thank you, Sean.
SPEAKER_02I'm sure your wife reinforces that every day. She better. Lord. Oh, but yeah, I I uh you know, I was working with these, you know, professional athletes and collegiate athletes, and they they were coming to me just wanting to know how to manage moments. You know, we're both in all sports here. So you know, like I've always told told TJ, you know, it's it's you know, it's about being big and big moments, right? Embracing it, you know. Wanting to be that guy, want to be, yes, and being that guy, right?
SPEAKER_01Living it.
SPEAKER_02Yes, you know, you want to be able to do it.
SPEAKER_01Believing it, like you said earlier, mentally, telling yourself you're that guy.
SPEAKER_02Exactly. And uh when you can rise up in those big moments, that's huge. And a lot of guys just didn't know how to manage moments. And uh so I I uh worked with uh uh Kevin Wilderhouse, Dr. Wildenhouse. His boys came here. But uh him and I kind of collaborated together.
SPEAKER_01I can't remember the other one, but great kids.
SPEAKER_02We developed a program called Fire and Ice, and fire fire was focus, intensity, responsibility, emotions, kind of understanding. It's almost like uh you know, fire and ice was really about a dashboard, right? What are you focused on? You know, a lot of young athletes you know are told to focus, but nobody really explains it to them. What what are the details of the basketball coach, right? What are you looking out there for? What are you reading? You know, are are you are you picking what this guy does every time you jump in front of him? Does he cross over? Does he spin? Yeah, um, how does he look? You know, most kids will look at the ball before they get ready to shoot the ball. I mean, there's all types of little things that if you're in tune to those and you know what you're looking for, and you can use those to your advantage. And so we talk real deeply about you know focusing as a D back, you know, what here's a wide receiver. What does he do? When he's gonna get the ball, what is it what what does he look like when he's at the ball?
SPEAKER_01Right.
SPEAKER_02When he comes at you, does he do the same move all the time? We're all creatures of habit, right? So if you can pick up on those, you can use those to your advantage. And so we work on some of those kind of skills. I was just intensity, you know, really it's about your why, it's about your energy level. There's a physical energy to all that we do, but more importantly, there's a mental energy. And uh if we worry a lot, if we have fears, we get anxious, we overthink things, you know, which is a huge problem at CC here. You got a lot of bright, intelligent kids, right? They have a tendency to overthink things. And so you talk about that, right? You get in their own way in that situation.
SPEAKER_01But even the kid, even the kids that struggle feel in a certain type of way around so many high academic achievers. Yeah, or kid that might have to go to the learning, you know, resource center, things like that. I mean, it it's it doesn't matter what type of kid, that's what I've noticed here is they're all struggling with something. It could be a kid who has financial means at home, it could be a kid who comes, you know, from the city whose life starts after he leaves CC and his activity. Yeah, so I think that's a huge part of it too.
SPEAKER_02You know, and it all drains their tank. You know, so by the end of the day, they're they're fatigued. You get fatigued, you start to engage in a lot of negative thinking.
SPEAKER_01Um then you go right to you're fatigued, you're coming home from here. Maybe you get your homework done, maybe you waited to I don't I notice a lot of our kids. I stayed up last night till one in the morning. I'm like, what did you do when you got home from set activity? I went on my phone, I played video guy, did this, you know, and I'm like, why don't you get your homework done? Then you have time for whatever else you're gonna do. But the kids come home from here being exhausted, and then they go right on their phones and start doom scrolling and comparing themselves to other people. Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_02Which is we're you know, where the next one comes in, which is our which is responsibility. Yeah, you know, we're we're all by nature procrastinators, which isn't anything more than self-talk that we convince ourselves we're gonna do something later, right? And you know, the laundry out there at seven o'clock in the morning doing their homework in the parking lot.
SPEAKER_01But uh yeah, we never did that when we were here. We've done the night before. I'm sure you didn't ever. All the time. Yeah. You knew which lunch table to sit at in the morning when we were over on breakfast drive, like, all right, I know I need algebra too. Let me go over by these guys.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, it's it's it's you know, it that that's a huge thing just to address in itself. But uh uh teaching them to be now guys, you know, what you gotta get done, get it done. Get it off your list, right? Have that list checklist in your head, know what you gotta do, get it done. You know, and responsibility is about understanding your role, roles, goals, and expectations. Something I work a lot with the coaches on. Yeah, right. The more a kid identifies what what he perceives to be his role and what you're looking for, the more likely he's gonna be fully engaged. Yeah, right? Kids kids lose their way because they they really don't understand their role. And the significance of that role, right? Just because you're not the main scorer doesn't mean that you're not a significant part of this winning program. Right. And that could play the guy that's only playing five or six minutes. Yeah. But you know what? Those five or six minutes, I need you to give our big guys.
SPEAKER_01Everything you got for those five or six, whatever it is.
SPEAKER_02We can't lose four or five points because I bring you in. I need you to be ready, engaged, and know what you got to do and sell yourself out there. Yeah. And a kid can embrace that. You know, otherwise he's sitting on the bench, sulking, yeah, you know, upset because he doesn't play as much as he thinks he should play. Yeah. And, you know, there's just a lot of confusion around that. So I really try to encourage coaches as much as you can. Really help guys to understand and embrace a role. And ask them, what do you perceive to be your role on this team? Yeah. Right? Because once you do that, you know where he's at.
SPEAKER_01That'll help you to be able to move him in the direction you want him to be and what you want him to embrace, which has changed over the years because I don't think a lot of coaches, when we were coming up back in the day, and obviously Todd and I are a little bit older than you, Tori and Sean, but not a lot of coaches were saying, Oh, well, what do you see your role as on this team? Or what are you looking for? Like it just place you in that role, which is I think it's a good thing because kids now know where they stand. I think when we were younger, you know, certain instances, we we might not have known where we stood, or we might have had a different vision than what that coach had for us. Tori, for you being in a couple different settings, obviously, you know, coming from Buena Vista, and you go from there down to Notre Dame, yeah, in terms of the mental sports performance coaching, it was starting to kind of come around then, but not even close to where it is now. Yeah, did you guys have anything at Notre Dame in terms of like sports psychology or any type of like mental training?
SPEAKER_00No, we we didn't, but I am.
SPEAKER_01I mean, you had the faith obviously of the you know in your university and and stuff like that.
SPEAKER_00I'm grateful for the the coaching staff that we have. That's why I was so connected to Coach Bray. Um, my assistant coaches to this day, I still connect with our assistant coaches. Um, even though we didn't have like a, so to say, like a class or a structure of like a you know, sports psychology coach on staff. Um, we had coaches who were player coaches. So they cared about us as uh the individual and and made sure, like you said, they understood what our role was. They made sure we explained what our role was. But they also like it was a two-way street. They wanted to hear from us. What do we see? And then, okay, if we had these expectations, what are you doing in the extra time? And that's why I tell our guys currently. I use a lot of the things that I've learned from my college coaches um to kind of you know connect with our guys. Like, what are you doing with that extra time? The unseen hours is what I call it. Um, what are you doing with that time to put yourself in a position to maybe change your role? This role that you say you want to be able to do. Um, I want to be a score. What are you doing in that free time? Yeah, you're putting the work in. And that's the key. If you're not, then this is the role I because you still can help us, but you have to be able to embrace this role. And that's where I get to show them how to get to that spot. And we had coaches at my college level, man, that were amazing with that. Like, hey man, okay, well, you may be struggling here because I scored over 2,500 points in high school and I wasn't shooting as well when I got to college. But hey, I still was a starter, still played the most games in history. Um, but I had to embrace this other role. And because of that, this other role took us to it made us winners. You know what I'm saying? We got to the NCAA tournament three out of four times because I was able to uh embrace this other role, and then because I still had that ability to score when guys went down or whatever it was, hey, I need you to go tap back into this real quick, and then now you're gonna get this, like, because you can all you you got that in you. Was I doing the stuff that I should have done? And that's where I like that's why I got I feel like God put me in a situation to put me in now as a coach. Like, was I doing the work? Should I've consistently was I consistently doing the work to work on my game, to polish my game, or was I just living off the land, natural guy given the top uh guy giving the ability to hoop to put the ball in the bucket? Everybody else on that level can also put the ball in the bucket. You also got guys that can defend. What are you doing to separate? To stand out, yeah. So getting that, having coaches that kind of talk to me, tap into that, um, to challenge me, um, but also showing me um connected with me enough to like I it didn't become personal. I wasn't feeling like I was being attacked. And back then, like you do that now at that level, man. Guys are like, yo, deuces. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. They got the NIEL stuff. Like, I'm deuces, but that adversity made me a better person, made me a better player. Um, it re the bond. And then because I stuck stuck it out, played well, had success on the court. I've also received a uh a degree from an amazing school, one of the best universities in the country, because I wasn't the best. I I had decent grades in college, but they had they helped me become a better student. It worked with the work. So they showed me different things that was gonna help me um reach a certain goal, and they kept their promise too. To be, it was a 40-year decision. They made sure they told my mom, hey, you're gonna get that degree. I don't care whatever whatever happens in sports or whatever it is, that's up to his control because he's gonna put the work in. What he puts in is what he's getting out. But we're gonna do our part to make sure he gets that degree. Man, best choice I've ever made. So when I now, when we talk to kids now, you want to be able to be a part of something like that. You want up to be under a coach like that that cares and want to see the long-term success of that player, their student athlete.
SPEAKER_01So I feel like we tell them the same thing here, being a 40-year decision. What I've noticed and listening to the two of you talk is something I've been diving into and I want to share with you guys because I don't want to forget it. But being a coach andor a mentor andor a sports psychologist, or you're really a shepherd. Yes, it's really what it's turned into. It's not like our old coaches that we had back in the day, like you know, Bernie Hollowicky, you with Coach Brady, me with Coach Max, some of my other coaches. I think they looked at it like that, but now so more than ever, yeah, you have to fill so many different roles with these kids. And you know, when you talk about being a shepherd for, and we all have kids here, we're shepherds for our children. You know, you had to shepherd TJ through a pretty interesting situation. And we talked about it, not insanely highly recruited out of high school where he wanted to go, where he felt like he was a great fit, had some injury issues throughout high school, something you were obviously very familiar with. You're like, TJ, I don't want to hear about your shoulder. I cut my hand off before my senior year. But but you know, him going through that and then him being able to go to UDM, have a great two years there, rotate freshman year start every year, sophomore year. When he was going through this decision to jump into the transfer portal and look for something different, how much did he lean on you? Or were you able to say, I know he's got it, I'm just here for support. Did he really come to you for a lot of advice and to Julie uh during the situation?
SPEAKER_02Uh yeah, it's uh yeah, again, I think to even punctuate what Tori was kind of sharing. Uh you have such an impactful uh way of working with kids and the things that you say will stick for them for a while. Uh you got Tori's first year, TJ was a senior. Yeah. And Tori came in and said, you know what, I'm gonna make you an efficient player. And and that stuck with TJ. You know, he became a much more efficient guy. And that has served him so well because you go to Detroit Mercy. Oh sorry, you're not gonna get 25-30 shots again. Right? He gets he gets 10, 12, maybe 14. Yeah, but you know what? He he took that to such hard that he focused on that that this year as a sophomore, he was 13th in the country in three point percent. 13th in the country among all division one schools. That's pretty incredible. Super efficient, yes. And so when he's getting recruited by these other schools, they they they see that.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, the efficiency.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, you know, here's a guy that can, you know, if you could get him 15 shots, yeah, and he's making over half of them. Come on, man. You're gonna get paid in today's game. Exactly. And and so that's uh, you know, just extremely impactful. Yeah. Now, your question specifically was how much did he lean on you guys during this this process? You know, he was probably calling me 10 times a day.
SPEAKER_01I love it. Why didn't the process? Well, I know you you guys have a great relationship to begin with, but it had to make you feel as a dad, like you know, that's just such a bucket filler to know that at this age he's still grilling you ten times a day with with questions. You know what I mean?
SPEAKER_02Oh, yeah, yeah. So you know, it was wonderful. And you know, we're sitting down in Zooms. And he's not just talking to me, right? He's talking to you, he's talking to Tory. You know, he's uh he's leaning on other people and getting their viewpoint and uh with the ultimate idea, you know, this is his decision. Yeah, you know, I'm gonna support you, but you know, you need to look at this, you need to be smart about it. You need to see where you're going and if that's gonna be a good fit. I think it was really important to him to play for a coach that he had a strong relationship with. Yep, he mentioned that. That's what he wanted. And uh so I think he got that at Tulane.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Um, but you know, I I I I think as a parent you you choreograph, you make your kids independent. Yeah, I got an amazing wife, Julie. He's made all three of our kids very independent kids. Like I don't have to set an alarm, they don't you don't have to check on whether TJ's homework's done or not. Um, you know, all three of my kids are are achievers that way. And you know, she's forged a lot of those kind of values and beliefs in them. And and and it's wonderful. Uh you know, I mean, when your kids coming to you, wanting to kind of sort out this big decision for him to be where he is. And even now on the flip end, all of a sudden he's got this big NIL. And what do you do with it? Yeah. So, you know, I sit him down, we donated to Mr. Babbitt's give the whole thing to Mr.
SPEAKER_01Babbitt's for all the muffins I bought him while he was here at CC. Oh, lunchtime muffins. Please, thank you. I know he hung on down there quite important.
SPEAKER_02We mentioned it.
SPEAKER_01We mentioned it.
SPEAKER_02Where are you? I'm down to Babbitt's office.
SPEAKER_01I felt like you worked down there for his senior year. I'm like an employee. When did you and Julie know that it was the right fit? Is there something you guys felt, or was it just TJ saying, Mom and Dad, I feel like this is the place for me? Is there something when you guys talked to the coaches or maybe saw something about the school that you guys knew it was the right place for? Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_02It's kind of funny because uh uh my wife Julie is is just uh so open and and honest with whatever she's gonna say. You know, sometimes TJ Gringes, you know, he's like, Oh, don't say that, mom. You know, I love the only way to live. That's it. Yeah, good for her. I love that emoji. So, you know, and she's she's a relationship gal. So she uh and she's a culture gal, right? She understands the importance for him to be in a good in a in a good godly culture. Yeah. And uh we just hit it off really well with the coaches down in Tulane. And you know, we spent two days with them, all of them just talking and talking and talking. And you know, guys uh you talk to people and I mean it's like three degrees. Yeah, right. So the head coach, yeah, my my wife went to Miami, played at Miami in the Hall of Fame of Miami. Uh his his kids went to Miami of Ohio. He coached early on at Miami as a system. Julie was in right away. She's just hook, line, and sinker. Yeah, right. Ray McCollum is you know, one of the other assistant coaches. Dre Mercy. Yeah, right, yeah. Ray's son played at Detroit Mercy.
SPEAKER_01All Midwestern guys, and we just felt like a little bit of family already.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, yeah. And then the head coach Ron Hunter, his son RJ. RJ was a beast. Yeah. And uh he just loves TJ. He's talking to TJ, he's having TJ call other recruits. Yeah, you know, it's awesome. And and uh we're down there, and you know, TJ's like, I want to get in the gym with you. Nah, you don't have to. We already know what you can do. It's just teaching your video. He goes, No, I want to get in the gym with you. So they got in the gym and they worked out for you know half an hour, just working on different gills, and RJ showing them stuff. And so as a dad just kind of sitting there watching all that, wow. You know, you want to be with people that are gonna pour into them. Absolutely. And uh when we walked away from that, you know, that's kind of what we talked about with TJ, you know, it's just yeah, it's uh and that's always weird, and that's what he's used to because you've poured into him, you've poured into him. He walks these hallways like he owns them, right? Perfect. He loves coming back here, comes back here and works out all the time. Yeah, yeah. Uh your cousin Jeremiah is always working with you know just another really God-fearing young man that that pours into TJ.
SPEAKER_01He comes back so often now, like at six o'clock at night. He's gonna be, he's like, You hear? I'm like, TJ, I have a family. If there's nothing going on here, I'm not hanging out to see what alums are coming to play basketball. Like, but I do get to see them more often than not. But you know, you you touched on Julie, and and one thing I want to say, you know, I feel like all of us in here, from you know, the three of us and Sean, we got very blessed with the women that we decided to marry and raise our families with. And I know mine makes me a better man on a daily basis. I don't know how my wife balances what she does, and I'm sure yours are very similar, but it does help kind of having a wife that's a little bit, and I hope I don't I don't think Julie will get mad that I say this. It helps having a wife who's got that meat-headed side to her a little bit because I know she's also honest very spiritual. She's a saint. You know, I love Julie. You guys know that. I love Julie. I also know she's very competitive. I asked TJ on here when he was here, I was like, all right, what you know, when was when did you realize you were the best basketball player in the family? He's like, Well, you know, I beat my mom, and I remember Julie saying she was pretty tough on him, but can TJ consistently take you to the woodshed now in basketball? I mean, you still able to score on him, get a couple buckets on TJ? Yeah, and now you can't lose if you don't play. Yeah, that's the same. Let's say it's you and Julie against TJ. You and Julie taking them? Oh, yeah. That would be interesting. That would be a good magic. We might have to set this up for a drive channel. That would be a great one.
SPEAKER_02It's kind of funny because when I started dating Julie, you know, we were training uh uh high school female athletes. Didn't you guys play in a league together, I thought? We did. We played in the uh played in the social league in Birmingham. Oh with you two, I'm sure it was two men, two my sister played at Auburn, right? Yeah. And uh you guys were all on the same team? Yeah. We loaded your team up. So every on four, two men, two women. Yeah, and she was you could light it up. Oh my goodness. Did you guys lose ever? Uh we won it five or six times in a row. I bet you I bet you did. Kind of retired from that.
SPEAKER_01But uh did she go with her Miami of Ohio hairdo that I saw the picture of the poop. With the bun in the front. That was a classic. I sent it to her and she's like, I knew somebody was gonna send it. I'm like, you guys posted it. Uh yeah, yeah. But it is a blessing to have somebody to go on that journey with you. Even, you know, Arlito wrestling this year. He decides to choose the toughest sport there is, lose loses to one of our guys in uh the district tournament, yeah, and he's smiling. Tori Sun, smiling on the mat, just having a blast in wrestling. Nobody has fun in wrestling. Nobody. Sean agrees.
SPEAKER_03Zero fun. No.
SPEAKER_01I mean, the work is great, but and he's just cheesing on the mat. And I'm like, this is everything that's right about athletics on any level. Just a kid out there, just like you said, being part of something bigger than yourself. He knew in that moment, like, I'm out here for the team, I let it all fly, just no regrets. I mean, it it's just such a it's just such a beautiful. This is one thing we do when we tie up and kind of put a little bow on the podcast, is we have everybody leave with a a positive note, something for the listeners to take away. And before we hop, hop into that, Todd, I just want to tell you what I've seen you do with so many of our kids, so many of our adults, with me personally. You you guys have always been great to me. And every time we see each other, it's a handshake, it's a hug, it's a what's up, brother. You guys are always very complimentary, and Julie's great. Anytime I post something about my kids, and I said it when TJ was here a week ago, she always sends me the best comments. And I know how heartfelt they are, and I know what it means for you to come back into pour back into Catholic Central. You've always been around, but to have you pour back into our kids and help build their armor psychologically and mentally and emotionally, there's nothing I could do to ever pay you back. I mean, obviously, we could pay you a million dollars a year, but that's not my goal. But just for me, just know that you know I will always be here for you. My family loves you guys. My boys love TJ. My wife does. Obviously, she loves you guys as well. And Tori, I've said it to you a million times. The amount of emotional and spiritual stability you've given me throughout your journey and your resurgence into your faith has been something that uh I will consistently work on paying you back for. And Sean, I tell you every time you're in here, I know you got other stuff to do. This is just something great that we get to do and pour into each other. So before we let people go, and this is for anybody out there, this is not a Catholic Central message, a athletics message, just something positive to give the people to take away from today or in just in general. Tori, I'll let you kick it off. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Um, just being grateful. Uh um God has blessed us with we talk about like your perception and what do you see? Um I I know um for myself, my own personal vision and where God has placed me in my in my life right now. He's placed some amazing people in my life. I'm grateful for it. Um a few years ago when I came here, um besides connecting with you, the Naydu family was the the first family that kind of helped me, my wife and I trying to transition, trying to find a home here. And um, they've been family ever since. Um they've encouraged us. Julie continues to encourage us. Um the one word that comes to mind um after just you know the today, the last couple weeks, um, is just being grateful. Um I'm grateful for the relationship God's had put in my life, the I'm grateful for the people He's put in my life. I'm grateful for the trials and tribulations that I had to go through in order to be there where I'm at now. Um just being grateful for everything um and and and having a different outlook in life, man, because um I know where I was and where I am now. Um only by the grace of God I'm here. Um so yeah, so just being grateful and I'm thankful. I love it. God, what do you got for him?
SPEAKER_01Um that's why I love this, because we don't people don't have time to think of answers, so it's all organic, just uh you know what we feel.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, you know, I I think God calls all of us, you know, to be a light in a very dark and challenging world. And uh there is uh negativity and evil all around us. So it's uh when you unite as many torches as you have here, um we make this world a little bit brighter place. And y you know, I d I just encourage people to be bold in their faith. Uh you know, it's it's it's not a Sunday deal, right? You live it, you walk it every day. We all have opportunities every day at work here, wherever you are, in your job, in your career. You've got a chance to walk into a room and be a light and uh brighten up somebody's day. You know, and and I think you know that's one of the beautiful things with my partner, my wife. You know, we we try to move that way. And I always laugh because I tell her she lights up a room and uh and you know, and that's what you want to be. Just be bold. You know, little kids smile when he comes in, he pumps him, he uh you know, it's just those little things like that that people remember. Um and it it does something to you, right? It moves you your soul, right? And that's what you want. You want a soulful people that want to be and let that light inside of them shine. We all hold back so much. And uh and you shouldn't, right? So many people think of what they should say or are compliment and they they shy away from it. Be bold, be bold in your faith, be a light and uh and just walk that walk.
SPEAKER_01That's exactly TJ touched on that too. He talked about in your faith being hot, lukewarm, and cold. Yeah, and his description of it was right on the money. I want to just tell the people out there don't take things personally. If someone says something to you, if someone's in a bad mood, just let them be in that bad mood. More times than not, it's something that they're going through. You control your day on a daily basis. I like to think of controlling my outcome. If my outcome of the day is to have a great day, I'm gonna control my response to everything as positively as I can. And there's gonna be times when you fall, when you fail, control your response to get the outcome you want and don't take things personally. Remember, it's your journey. You're in control of your mindset as soon as your feet hit the ground. We say it on a weekly basis. Give thanks to God that you have another chance to start back at zero. Can't change anything that happened before, any of the comments that you heard, any of the things that you went through. Just keep being great, be that light, be grateful, continue to pour into others. When all else fails, we ask you to give back to the 1928 club to keep the tradition going, to have great podcasts supported like this. We're now 17 for 17. Shouting out the 1928 club. But to end this podcast, I can't thank you guys enough to be able to spend a little bit over an hour and doing things like this with two people, three people that I love and care about as men of faith, as lights in my life and lights here at Catholic Central and in the greater community. I love you guys. I thank you guys for the positivity. Tori, like I said, love having you back. Todd, you are part of the fabric of this place along with your family. And uh, you are right. Julie lights up a room whenever she comes in it, but your family does the exact same thing. And when we get the three of you guys together and the rest of the family, and you guys are at an event, it's it's like a ray of sunlight walking through the gymnasium. So keep being that light for yourself, for your family, for our kids, uh, for the greater community and anybody else out there that you continue to touch in a positive way because we need more people out there like you to have honest conversations with these kids and these coaches and these mentors and these adults to help keep them being the light for somebody else and for themselves. So, Todd thank you so much for coming on. Tori, love you, Sean, the man behind the mix, as always making us look way better than we probably do. And to everybody out there, like we said, be grateful, be that light. Don't take things personal. And when all else fails, keep hammering. We appreciate you guys.