The Golden Rule of Leadership: Why Great Teams Put People First

In this episode of Commander's Intent, retired Air Force Colonel and fighter pilot Derek Oaks explores how the Golden Rule—treating others the way you want to be treated—creates stronger leaders and more powerful teams.

Derek explains why this timeless principle drives trust, loyalty, accountability, and high performance inside organizations—from the military to the business world.

If you want to build a culture where people have each other’s backs, perform at their best, and stay committed to the mission, this episode will show you why the Golden Rule is one of the most powerful leadership principles you can apply.

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:01

Have you ever frozen in the key moment of making a critical decision? Whether it's in business or in life, it can cost you everything. Commander's Intent will teach and inspire you how to lead with clarity, courage, and purpose. So here's your host, retired Air Force Colonel, fighter pilot, and your leadership mentor, Derek Oaks.

SPEAKER_00 0:25

Hello and welcome back to another episode of Commander's Intent. The term Golden Rule is mainly Christian in origin, and yet today we're going to talk about it as it relates to decision making and leadership and why it's so valuable. I consider it a foundational principle or a foundational characteristic of any organization, if that organization really wants to do well and have an environment where people can make decisions very well. So why would I talk about the golden rule and what is its value when you're trying to create that culture of empowered individuals that are performing at their best? If you look at the military, particularly the U.S. military, we have terms like these things we do that others may live and no one left behind. And if he's out there, we're going to find him. And there are a few other expressions like that that explain the great lengths we go to to bring everybody home and to protect everyone among us. That kind of attitude exists throughout the U.S. military and in in a few other militaries where we're going to go to those great lengths to save those around us, even bring their lifeless bodies home because they matter that much to us. That environment where you develop an attitude that you are fighting for the people around you. And when that exists, you're gladly going to give your life for if you're called upon to do so. Nobody wants to give their life, but you're glad to do it because you're doing it for them, because you know that they would do it for you. That feeling is devoid of religion, it's devoid of race or background. You don't pick and choose who you're going to say based on how tall or white or black or whatever they are. You do it because they're on your team. You protect and fight for those around you because you know they would do it for you. In that kind of an environment, when you know that you matter, that your organization will go to great lengths to secure your freedom, your happiness, and even an honorable burial plot for your remains, it changes you and your willingness to do the same for those around you. Our American military history is full of accounts of bravery, sacrifice, and often a logical expenditure of resources to free our fellow Americans and allies. Countless medals of honor have been awarded for acts of servicemen who risked it all, in some cases gave their all to protect another person and to protect their team. Despite the loss, it's inspiring and it makes you focus on the greatness of those around you. It makes you want to give more. It makes you want to be better, and it makes you want to be more selfless. It makes you want to live by the golden rule. Outside of the military, look at any organization, and I'll tell you that any organization that lives by the golden rule, top to bottom, it's a place of security, it's a place of excellence, of empathy and care for each other. And it's a place where you never want to leave because you feel like you're at home, like the people around you are your family. In business and in many aspects of our lives, we attempt to quantify everything, to put a number on it so that we can conduct a value comparison between competing interests for our resources. And that's entirely appropriate. We should be doing that. We ask what the return on investment is going to be and when we'll receive a turn on investment. I've given a lot of those pitches and I've received a number of those pitches where you're trying to quantify to the potential investor, or as the potential investor, you're trying to quantify to yourself what the monetary value of that offering is. And then comes in the golden rule and it breaks all these paradigms. And yet, I argue that it's more valuable than any of those other measures of success. Do unto others as you would have others do unto you is a verse from the New Testament. It highlights how we should treat others in ways that we ourselves appreciate. If we do not want others to talk to us in a certain way, we don't talk to them that way. If we want people to be honest with us, we are honest with them. If we like an honest effort on our priorities, we in turn give an honest effort to the priorities of others. The golden rule applied to everyday relationships, particularly organizational relationships, can make a dramatic difference in the level of commitment, engagement, and willingness to go the extra mile for the mission of the team and for its leadership. Let me break it down for you how I see the golden rule and how we can make it so effective and how it is so effective, just as is in any organization. First of all, it breeds win-win. Leaders are in tune with the needs, desires, and personal vision of the team members, and they dedicate a portion of their efforts for the success of those team members beyond the success of the team. They're more trusting of their team members because they assume that their actions, meaning the team members' actions, are not selfishly driven. Consequently, the team members commit at a higher level to the vision of the organization as a reaction to leaders and fellow team members that are committed to their personal success. They're less inclined to waste their boss's time where they just clock in and perform half-heartedly expecting a paycheck and nothing else. They're going to focus on putting in that best effort. They're going to want to pull their own weight and ensure their contributions matter. They're going to feel a level of trust. And that level of trust frees them from a level of worry that exists when team members don't care about you and don't care about their personal desires and needs. When you know people are looking out for you, and when other people are working for your best interests, it breeds twin-win. Even when a team member decides that it's time to move on and go somewhere else to go to another company, everybody still has their best interests at heart. Everybody wants them to succeed. And everybody's happy, I won't say happy to see them go, but happy to see them go in a direction that is self-actualizing. The next thing, which is very similar, is team members have each other's backs. They worry about the safety and security of each other, and they'll go to great lengths to contribute to the happiness of those around them. Think about my example about the military. They don't expect anything in return except the knowledge that the teammates would do the same for them. This kind of trust is empowering. It causes people to worry more about their teammates than just their own well-being. When a team member steps up to help you, to cover for you, or even verbally defend you from criticism, you're more likely to do the same for them. And here's the beauty of it. When you are willing to sacrifice for another, when somebody else, when you know they're willing to sacrifice for you, that creates a bond that no paper contract can replicate. We live in a world of, well, if it's on my contract, I'm not doing it. And yet the golden rule says, I'm going to do it because that's how I want to be treated. That's how I want it to be done towards me. There are countless stories of soldiers from very different backgrounds and belief structures giving their lives for each other because of that bond, that unwritten contract. That same result holds true for any work environment. Hopefully you're not having to give your lives, but any work environment that culturally adheres to the golden rule, you can have that same exact feeling. Next thing is that a team member knows their leadership cares about their job security and personal vision as much as the bottom line. Now, a place of employment, it's not a jobs program. It doesn't exist to give that individual a job. A company exists to generate revenue, to generate success. And a good boss understands that. But a great boss, following the golden rule, also looks out for the best of the employees and is working to ensure that both sides are successful. They don't see employees as a simple balance sheet liability or a tool to meet the company in. They see them as teammates that are there trying to self-actualize themselves, just like the company is trying to self-actualize and trying to succeed. Similarly, an employee gives their best for the company because they know the company's success benefits everyone and they want success for everyone. Everybody understands that sometimes the numbers simply don't work. And you're not going to be able to keep the entire payload around because you're not having the success that you need. But individuals, by and large, are going to feel more secure that their leadership has their best interests at heart if they're living by the golden rule. Something else about the golden rule is it makes everybody feel heard. If you're trying to do unto others as you would have others do to you, you got to know what they want. You got to know what they need, which means you're going to listen. And people are going to listen to you. So you're going to understand what other people need. You're going to know, you're going to have an understanding that there, other people are going to know what you need. So you're going to feel heard as your teammates are actively listening to your inputs and your concerns. The last thing that I think is one of the huge catalysts for success with the golden rule is that it breeds gratitude. When people are nice to you all the time, you just can't help but feel grateful. You can't help but recognize those acts of kindness towards you. There are people who try real hard, but when everybody's living by the golden rule and everybody's looking out for the best interest of others, it engenders a feeling of gratitude. You want to return the favor, you want to help those in need. You want to look for help. Look for areas where you can help those in need. And you want people to be treated as you would want to be treated. That's just a natural reaction. The golden rule is foundational. If you want to get the most out of your team, you treat them as they want to be treated. You treat them as you think they would, as you would want to be treated. And almost always they're going to treat you in the same way. You and everyone feels a gratitude towards each other when you're living by the golden rule, and their considered actions are going to be returned. You're going to want to return the favor when people are kind to you. No one wants to let each other down. So they go above and beyond when you're living by the golden rule. And here's the thing: the golden rule is all about ROI. You're not going to find that in a planning balance sheet. It just happens. You're going to get so much more out of your team if you're living that way. Now, the world is often very cutthroat, especially when you're looking at business. And many of you are probably saying, that's impossible. Somebody's going to stab me in the back. Somebody's going to take advantage of my kindness. And unfortunately, that does happen some. But if the culture from top to bottom, from top down, has an attitude of the golden rule, then people are not so much going to be looking out for themselves. They're going to feel that security and they're going to be looking for how can I make this environment even better for those around me. So if you're asking yourself, how can I change my environment? If I do this, won't people see me as a soft target to be taken advantage of? Those are great questions. Drop me a note at Ask Derek now and we'll discuss it. And I don't want to say this is easy. Otherwise, everyone would do it. But it is simple and it is effective. In fact, it's necessary if you want to get the most out of your team. Otherwise, you can continue to settle for that 80% effort and high turnover, because that's what you get when you don't live by the golden rule. Confident leaders make better decisions, and better decisions drive better results. And it is so much more possible if you consider the golden rule as a foundational principle for your organization. Subscribe to Commanders and 10, and let's keep learning how to make better decisions for better results. Thanks.

SPEAKER_01 10:33

So that's it for today's episode of Commander's Inten Podcast. Head on over to Apple Podcasts iTunes or wherever you listen and subscribe to the show. One lucky listener every single week that posts a review on Apple Podcasts or iTunes will be entered in a grand prize drawing to win a$25,000 private, exclusive leadership coaching package with Derek Oakes himself. So head on over to Commanders Intent Podcast.com and pick up a free copy of Derek's Leadership Guide and join us on the next episode.