SPEAKER_00: Good morning, church.
SPEAKER_00: As we go to the Lord in prayer, I want to draw your attention to two different passages of Scripture.
SPEAKER_00: I was going to pray out of Psalm 136, and I would encourage you to read that this afternoon when you get home.
SPEAKER_00: Because in that passage of Scripture, it says that the steadfast love of the Lord goes on forever, 26 times and 26 verses.
SPEAKER_00: Obviously very important.
SPEAKER_00: But I want to draw your attention to this morning where I'll be praying out of is Lamentations chapter 3, verse 22 through verse 24, which says, The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases, his mercies never come to an end.
SPEAKER_00: They are new every morning.
SPEAKER_00: Great is your faithfulness.
SPEAKER_00: The Lord is my portion, says my soul, therefore I will hope in him.
SPEAKER_00: Let's pray.
SPEAKER_00: Gracious God, we humbly come before your throne of mercy and grace.
SPEAKER_00: We do so this morning, Lord, with thanksgiving and with praise.
SPEAKER_00: We're so very, very thankful, Lord, that we are recipients of your steadfast love.
SPEAKER_00: You've proven it to be loyal, unwavering, and unconditional.
SPEAKER_00: And that's because your love is based on your covenant word, not on our merit.
SPEAKER_00: We praise you, Lord, for not ceasing to love us.
SPEAKER_00: You have not withdrawn from us when we have failed you.
SPEAKER_00: Instead, you put your love on display by extending mercies to us new and fresh every single morning.
SPEAKER_00: Father, we stand here today in awe of your faithfulness.
SPEAKER_00: Lord, you supply us with all that we need, and today we stand and declare our hope is in you and in you alone.
SPEAKER_00: We're going to ask, Father, today that you'll teach us to exemplify your steadfast love to others, especially to our spouse.
SPEAKER_00: Father, we ask today that you'll fill us with your grace necessary to do your will and to give us the hope that we need to endure all that we stand in front of us.
SPEAKER_00: Father, I ask today that Lord, you will move on the hearts of your people and you will use me.
SPEAKER_00: Father, through your power of your word and through your spirit.
SPEAKER_00: So, Father, you use me as an empty vessel to equip and to encourage and to transform by the renewing of the minds of your precious people.
SPEAKER_00: And we're going to ask all these things in the mighty and the faithful name of Jesus, we pray.
SPEAKER_00: Amen.
SPEAKER_00: If you're able to stay, remain standing as I read the text this morning.
SPEAKER_00: I'm going to be taking my text out of 1 Peter chapter 4 and verse number 8.
SPEAKER_00: I'm going to ask you to do something that might seem a little strange, and that would be okay, because that's what I am.
SPEAKER_00: But I want to ask you to do something real quick, and I'm going to ask you just to take a second and just look around.
SPEAKER_00: We got a full house this morning, but I want you to see that the verse that we're going to be reading from is required of each and every one of you toward everyone else in this building.
SPEAKER_00: And if you're standing next to your spouse, I'm going to ask you to do something that maybe might make some of you a little bit uncomfortable, because you might have argued on your way to church this morning.
SPEAKER_00: I'm going to ask you to turn and face your spouse and take each other's hands in each other's hands and look each other in the eyes as I read our text this morning.
SPEAKER_00: For this verse is also required of you, not only to each and every person in the building, but especially to your spouse.
SPEAKER_00: And here's the text.
SPEAKER_00: Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins.
SPEAKER_00: Love ones, this is the word of the Lord for you today.
SPEAKER_00: And I'm praying that He will write this eternal truth on your heart so that you will become a doer of the word and not be a hearer of the word only and so deceive yourselves.
SPEAKER_00: You may be seated.
SPEAKER_00: Good morning, church family.
SPEAKER_00: It's good to be worshiping with you this morning.
SPEAKER_00: And if you're visiting our church for the very first time, I want to say welcome to you.
SPEAKER_00: God bless you.
SPEAKER_00: Thank you so much for coming.
SPEAKER_00: If you're looking for a home church, I hope that you will have just found it.
SPEAKER_00: I'm going to be out in the lobby next to the first-time visitor desk, as Pastor Tyler mentioned, after the service, and I really would hope that you would stop and say hello to me.
SPEAKER_00: Give me an opportunity to hear how you have been about coming to Doxa this morning.
SPEAKER_00: For those that don't know me, my name is Mike Frege.
SPEAKER_00: I'm one of the staff pastors here at Doxa.
SPEAKER_00: And it's a great honor this morning for me to be bringing to you the very words of Almighty God, especially as we're in the series that we're calling the grammar of marriage.
SPEAKER_00: What we've been doing over the last nine weeks and today being the 10th is we're laying out what it looks like that God's design for marriage looks like.
SPEAKER_00: And I would hope by now, after this being the 10th week, that you will see how perfect the design God has for marriage really is.
SPEAKER_00: And that you've been working diligently to adjust your marriage to line up with his design.
SPEAKER_00: Today I have the great honor of bringing to you the word on the subject of the longevity of marriage.
SPEAKER_00: When this series started, Pastor Scott mentioned that I would be bringing this particular message because at that time I have been married for 46 years.
SPEAKER_00: And I want, now this is a good, well, if you're gonna applaud, applaud the Lord, because it's definitely not because of my wife's and my strength or our skills.
SPEAKER_00: And I want to go on record by saying this that the reason that we're celebrating our 47th wedding anniversary in two months from now is because of the steadfast love of the Lord.
SPEAKER_00: And he has enabled us to endure everything that we have faced together.
SPEAKER_00: And now at this season of our life, we are enjoying those blessings.
SPEAKER_00: And so it's a great honor this morning to be bringing that subject to you.
SPEAKER_00: The title of my message is Marriage is a Marathon, not a sprint.
SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna hope that you're gonna write that down.
SPEAKER_00: You're gonna go home and you're gonna transfer it onto a post-it note and you're gonna stick it on your refrigerator because I think this is a very important thing to remind ourselves on a daily basis that marriage is definitely not a sprint.
SPEAKER_00: It's a marathon.
SPEAKER_00: Tragically, as a pastor, I've counseled way too many couples who run their marriage like it is a sprint, not a marathon.
SPEAKER_00: They came into the church facility or the venue that we call it nowadays to be married.
SPEAKER_00: They walked down the aisle, they made a promise, they exchanged rings, they kissed each other, and then they ran out expecting life to be total bliss.
SPEAKER_00: Only to find out shortly that there were disappointments, and they ran out of gas.
SPEAKER_00: And they ended up thinking, I just want to quit, or they've already quit, but they still live in the same house.
SPEAKER_00: So I want to ask you a question this morning and have you ponder it deeply, not only just for the moment, but to think about it all week long.
SPEAKER_00: And I would like you to answer this question to yourself, not for your spouse.
SPEAKER_00: Here's the question: Is your marriage on track to be a marathon or a sprint?
SPEAKER_00: What does it look like?
SPEAKER_00: For those that are in the building this morning that are not married, I want to pose to you a question that is very similar but yet very important for you as a single individual.
SPEAKER_00: Are you seeking a godly spouse knowing that the covenant of marriage is for life, or are you willing to date and marry an unbeliever in hopes of having a few good years?
SPEAKER_00: You see, friends, marathon, excuse me, marriage is a marathon.
SPEAKER_00: It's a lifelong race.
SPEAKER_00: God designed it to be until death you are separated, not until there are irreconcilable differences.
SPEAKER_00: That's why you've got to be in it for life.
SPEAKER_00: There cannot be any quit in you.
SPEAKER_00: You've got to stick to it no matter what.
SPEAKER_00: Because the word divorce should not be an option.
SPEAKER_00: Therefore, you have to run the race with endurance.
SPEAKER_00: Now, I want to make sure that you understand that that is not a pastoral pep talk.
SPEAKER_00: What that is, is a biblical mandate.
SPEAKER_00: And I want to take you through some scriptures this morning to help you see this is what God put in place.
SPEAKER_00: This is not something that we came up with or something that we want for you, although that is what we want for you.
SPEAKER_00: We want to bring you to a point of understanding what God wants for you.
SPEAKER_00: If you'll go with me to Hebrews chapter 12, verse number one, the writer of Hebrews pinned it so well, obviously under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit.
SPEAKER_00: He said, Let us run with endurance the race that has been set before us.
SPEAKER_00: Obviously, we know the context of that scripture because Hebrews was about the Jews wanting to go back to Judaism and leave Christianity altogether.
SPEAKER_00: And the writer is telling him, don't do that, stick it out.
SPEAKER_00: Run the race with endurance.
SPEAKER_00: And we say that the context of that is right after Hebrews 11, which is a chapter on all of the Hebrews, all the heroes of the faith that stuck to it no matter what.
SPEAKER_00: They went through some very difficult times, but yet they endured because they knew it was the way that God wanted them to go.
SPEAKER_00: And why is that so important?
SPEAKER_00: Because you put it in a context of marriage.
SPEAKER_00: We could read that right into it.
SPEAKER_00: Let us run with endurance the race of marriage that is set before us.
SPEAKER_00: It's a lifelong race.
SPEAKER_00: The writer, the Apostle Paul, wrote to the church in Rome in Romans chapter 15, verse 5 and 6, and he said this so well.
SPEAKER_00: And I would hope that you see it.
SPEAKER_00: This is a great prayer that the Apostle Paul is preaching.
SPEAKER_00: He says, May the God of endurance and encouragement grant you, and I want to pause there and help you understand what he's saying.
SPEAKER_00: He's saying, May the God of endurance and encouragement give you the ability or give you the grace or give you the ability to endure.
SPEAKER_00: And let me tell you why it applies to marriage, because he goes on to say, to live in such harmony with one another, in accord with Christ Jesus, that together you with one voice will glorify the God and the Father of the Lord Jesus Christ.
SPEAKER_00: I hope you see Paul's prayer.
SPEAKER_00: He's asking that God, the God of encouragement and the God of endurance, will give you endurance so that you won't run in your own strength, but you'll run together in harmony and be able to bring glory to God.
SPEAKER_00: What a beautiful picture of marriage.
SPEAKER_00: That together we are one glorifying God.
SPEAKER_00: I like what the pastor and the author Joel Beakey said, and I would want to have you hear it because it's so true.
SPEAKER_00: A vital-growing marriage that endures over the course of decades requires two things.
SPEAKER_00: Number one, self-denial, and number two, effort.
SPEAKER_00: How many would agree with that?
SPEAKER_00: If you've been married more than a couple of years, you would probably say, yes, that's true.
SPEAKER_00: Self-denial and effort.
SPEAKER_00: But I want you to see something so very important.
SPEAKER_00: In order for you, in order for me to be willing to endure, to be willing to deny myself and to deny yourself, and willing to give 110% of loving your spouse no matter what, you have to start with the biblical view of marriage.
SPEAKER_00: And I'll show you the difference of why that's so important.
SPEAKER_00: Because culturally, marriage is looked at upon as contractual.
SPEAKER_00: It's a contract.
SPEAKER_00: And it's merely a legal agreement.
SPEAKER_00: We're just agreeing on some things.
SPEAKER_00: And if you look at it, it has a start date, but there's always room for an ending date in a contract.
SPEAKER_00: And if you look at the body of the contract, it's always full of expectations and demands.
SPEAKER_00: And those expectations and demands are always singular.
SPEAKER_00: What we get out of the deal, what we want, what we expect, it is for our happiness.
SPEAKER_00: And if there's any breach in that contract, we can sever it, it's over, it's all done.
SPEAKER_00: Biblically, however, marriage is not that way.
SPEAKER_00: Marriage is covenantal.
SPEAKER_00: In other words, it's a permanent relationship.
SPEAKER_00: It is a covenant of permanent relationship.
SPEAKER_00: Enduring, ongoing, without end.
SPEAKER_00: And if you look at it, it's a binding agreement.
SPEAKER_00: There's no way out.
SPEAKER_00: And when you make that agreement, it's a vow that you make to the other person.
SPEAKER_00: I'm vowing my life to you.
SPEAKER_00: And it is about no matter what that person does or what that person doesn't do, I'm making a vow to be in this covenant.
SPEAKER_00: We learn that from Christ, obviously.
SPEAKER_00: But what we learn from that is that it is all about what we give that person for holiness, not happiness.
SPEAKER_00: And there is no end.
SPEAKER_00: And that is why I always tell people, especially in marital counseling, especially premarital counseling, that God designed marriage to be a living picture of Christ's covenant with his bride, the church.
SPEAKER_00: I'm going to repeat that so you could write that down because I think this is worthy of another post-it note.
SPEAKER_00: This one should be on your bathroom mirror.
SPEAKER_00: So every time you get up in the morning and you look in the mirror, you realize this is what's required of me.
SPEAKER_00: This is what Christ designed marriage to look like: a living picture of Christ's loving covenant with his bride, the church.
SPEAKER_00: I'm in good company when I make that statement because listen how John Piper said it.
SPEAKER_00: He said, marriage exists most ultimately to display the covenant-keeping love between Christ and his church.
SPEAKER_00: To that I say a great big amen.
SPEAKER_00: Now, if you take any time and look in the scriptures, we see what that looks like.
SPEAKER_00: Ephesians chapter 5 is one of the most profound passages of scripture that puts that on display.
SPEAKER_00: I want you to see what happens in Ephesians 5.
SPEAKER_00: It says, Jesus loved the church so much that he gave himself up for her.
SPEAKER_00: When you start to look at that, you begin to think, oh, how romantic.
SPEAKER_00: What a beautiful picture.
SPEAKER_00: And a lot of people put that picture together with John chapter 15.
SPEAKER_00: And John chapter 15, verse 13, they say that there's no greater love than this one who laid down his life for his friends.
SPEAKER_00: But I want to show you something that when Jesus looked at his bride, the church, she was not so beautiful.
SPEAKER_00: In fact, I would say that she was the worst bride possible.
SPEAKER_00: Go back six weeks ago when Pastor Scott was preaching, he brought up what a bad bride looks like and he used the word dozer, doozer.
SPEAKER_00: Remember that?
SPEAKER_00: And I will tell you the church is the most doozer of all the doozers, because let me explain to you what the church looked like when Jesus laid down his life for the church.
SPEAKER_00: She was idolatrous, she worshipped all kinds of other things.
SPEAKER_00: She was adulteress.
SPEAKER_00: She loved all kinds of other things, including herself.
SPEAKER_00: And the list goes on.
SPEAKER_00: She was rebellious and resentful.
SPEAKER_00: She was hard-hearted and envious.
SPEAKER_00: She was greedy and covetous.
SPEAKER_00: She was impatient.
SPEAKER_00: She was unkind.
SPEAKER_00: She was proud and rude.
SPEAKER_00: She ignored him.
SPEAKER_00: She got angry at him.
SPEAKER_00: She refused to submit to him.
SPEAKER_00: She insisted on doing everything her own way.
SPEAKER_00: She did wrong all too often, and she failed to trust him.
SPEAKER_00: Those are just a few examples of what I could portray to you this morning.
SPEAKER_00: But sadly, if the church isn't careful, my friends, the church could fall into these same categories even today.
SPEAKER_00: Interestingly enough, these are the same accusations that I hear spouses make about each other in counseling all of the time.
SPEAKER_00: And my friends, I will suggest to you today how easy it is for us to forget that we're saved by grace and we are in need of God's sanctifying grace, each and every one of us.
SPEAKER_00: So I'm going to give you the big idea for today, and I would trust again.
SPEAKER_00: You would take a moment to write it down again, another opportunity to take it home and stick it on a post-it note because this is another one for the refrigerator.
SPEAKER_00: Endurance in a Christian marriage is the bridge between doing God's will and receiving his reward.
SPEAKER_00: Take a moment to write that down.
SPEAKER_00: Endurance in a Christian marriage is the bridge between doing God's will and receiving his reward.
SPEAKER_00: I want to take you back to 1 Peter chapter 4 and verse 8 and look at it with the complete understanding he's writing to married couples.
SPEAKER_00: Above all, keep loving your spouse earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins.
SPEAKER_00: I'm going to bring to you three points this morning on what that enduring love requires.
SPEAKER_00: It requires a priority, it requires it to be sincere, and it requires it to be blind.
SPEAKER_00: And before we get to those this morning, I want you to notice that this verse is basically a command to the church.
SPEAKER_00: And Peter is saying, above all, keep loving earnestly.
SPEAKER_00: And most people would say, yes, the context is the church.
SPEAKER_00: Pastor Mike, it's written to the church congregation.
SPEAKER_00: And if that's the truth, and we all have to agree that it is, that we also recognize that it has to apply to every marriage within that church.
SPEAKER_00: And that's why we can so easily say it applies to marriages today.
SPEAKER_00: The first point I want to bring to your attention to this morning is endurance requires love to be a priority.
SPEAKER_00: If you look at the text, Peter says, above all.
SPEAKER_00: He starts with it right there, above all.
SPEAKER_00: And you are asking a very good question right now.
SPEAKER_00: Above all what?
SPEAKER_00: And all you have to do is take a few moments, and I would trust that you would do this this afternoon, is read the first four chapters of 1 Peter.
SPEAKER_00: There's 79 verses that lead up to this one verse.
SPEAKER_00: And in those 79 verses, there are a whole bunch of commands, literal commands that He's given to the church, given to you and I as married couples, that we have to look at and say, this applies to marriage.
SPEAKER_00: Let me just browse through a few of them this morning.
SPEAKER_00: Number one, continue living in hope with your spouse because you've been born again.
SPEAKER_00: Rejoice in your spouse, even though you've been grieved by various trials.
SPEAKER_00: You are to be holy with your spouse or toward your spouse.
SPEAKER_00: You are to prepare your minds for action, which means to act righteously with your spouse.
SPEAKER_00: You are to love your spouse earnestly from a pure heart.
SPEAKER_00: You are to put away all malice and deceit and hypocrisy, envy and slander.
SPEAKER_00: You are to abstain from the passions of the flesh.
SPEAKER_00: You are to be honorable toward your spouse.
SPEAKER_00: You are to submit to the authorities over you, which would be wise unto your husbands and husbands unto Christ.
SPEAKER_00: You are to suffer without sin.
SPEAKER_00: You are to have no deceit in your mouth.
SPEAKER_00: This is the fun one for couples.
SPEAKER_00: When you are reviled, you are not to revile, which means when you're criticized, verbally attacked, scorned, and spoken to with contempt, you are to what?
SPEAKER_00: Reply with grace.
SPEAKER_00: You can read the first four chapters.
SPEAKER_00: That's what it says.
SPEAKER_00: When you're reviled, return with grace.
SPEAKER_00: You see, friends, every single one of them apply to you and I in our context of marriage.
SPEAKER_00: And I feel like the um infomercial guy that says, but wait, there's more.
SPEAKER_00: Because there is.
SPEAKER_00: You are to live in an understanding way with your spouse.
SPEAKER_00: You are to have unity of mind with your spouse.
SPEAKER_00: You are to be sympathetic with your spouse.
SPEAKER_00: You are to have a tender heart toward your spouse.
SPEAKER_00: You are to be humble.
SPEAKER_00: You are to not repay evil for evil.
SPEAKER_00: Instead, you are to bless.
SPEAKER_00: Since this is such a big one, I want to kind of break it down here.
SPEAKER_00: You are not to repay evil for evil, instead, you are to bless.
SPEAKER_00: Which means, instead of returning tit for tat and seeking revenge, you are to bless your spouse.
SPEAKER_00: Instead of reacting with anger, you're to respond with a blessing.
SPEAKER_00: Instead of rolling your eyes and giving the silent treatment and holding a grudge, you are to bless your spouse.
SPEAKER_00: And if that's not enough, there's one more.
SPEAKER_00: In your heart, honor Christ.
SPEAKER_00: And Peter's saying, above all that, keep loving your spouse earnestly.
SPEAKER_00: Some of you might be going, you know, it's getting a little hot in here.
SPEAKER_00: I think I'm gonna go out for a cup of coffee or some water.
SPEAKER_00: Friends, listen to me very carefully.
SPEAKER_00: God wants us to hear what He has for us today.
SPEAKER_00: He wants us to take information and apply it so that it transforms us.
SPEAKER_00: I've always said this that information without application leads to stagnation.
SPEAKER_00: But information with application leads to transformation.
SPEAKER_00: And that's What God wants in our marriages today.
SPEAKER_00: He wants us to transform our marriages so that they reflect His glory, that He it reflects His covenant love for His church.
SPEAKER_00: Above all that, keep loving your spouse earnestly.
SPEAKER_00: Now, some of you might be going, as Pastor Scott says so often, it's like, don't start with the emails.
SPEAKER_00: But I will tell you something.
SPEAKER_00: I like what Vody Bakham used to say.
SPEAKER_00: He said, I don't write the mail, I just deliver it.
SPEAKER_00: So hopefully, if you're writing any emails this morning, it's posted toward heaven, not toward Pastor Mike.
SPEAKER_00: Here's a really important thing.
SPEAKER_00: If we take a look at what Peter's doing here in 1 Peter 4, verse 8, he addresses this very serious statement even before he addresses anything like spiritual gifts or suffering or church leadership, which tells us something.
SPEAKER_00: Loving one another is the most important thing possible.
SPEAKER_00: And that shouldn't surprise us coming from Peter, because he also recognized that this is the same thing the Apostle Paul said.
SPEAKER_00: Let's go back to 1 Corinthians 13, the first two verses.
SPEAKER_00: Listen to what Paul said.
SPEAKER_00: He says, If I speak in tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I'm a noising gong or a clinging cymbal.
SPEAKER_00: And if I have prophetic powers and understand all the mysteries and all knowledge, and I have all the faith as to move mountains, but I have not love, I am nothing.
SPEAKER_00: Jesus amplified this statement.
SPEAKER_00: Because if you go to Matthew chapter 22, verses 36 through verse 40, he was tested by the Pharisees.
SPEAKER_00: And they came to him and asked this question, Teacher, which is the great commandment in the law?
SPEAKER_00: His answer, you shall love the Lord your God with all of your heart, with all of your soul, and with all of your mind.
SPEAKER_00: And immediately he continued on.
SPEAKER_00: And this is the great, the first commandment.
SPEAKER_00: And the second is just like it.
SPEAKER_00: You shall love your neighbor, you shall love your spouse as yourself.
SPEAKER_00: On these two commandments depend all of the law and all of the prophets.
SPEAKER_00: I would suggest this is extremely important.
SPEAKER_00: We need to love our spouse as we love ourselves.
SPEAKER_00: This tells us that love in the church has to be the non-negotiable foundation.
SPEAKER_00: It should be the non-negotiable foundation of doxa that we love one another.
SPEAKER_00: And by our love will the world know that we're truly the disciples of Christ.
SPEAKER_00: All the more in our marriage.
SPEAKER_00: It's a non-negotiable foundation of our marriage.
SPEAKER_00: There's no room for negotiations.
SPEAKER_00: We must love one another, and we must display that love within our marriage.
SPEAKER_00: Which means husbands and wives both have to make it their priority to demonstrate the love of Christ to one another, especially in times of turmoil and stress, sorrow and suffering.
SPEAKER_00: I understand it, friends, because I've been married for almost 47 years, that when you say that you have to keep loving one another, it's going to require some very close-guarded, unconditional sacrifices.
SPEAKER_00: If we're going to love that way, we have to give of ourselves unconditional sacrifices.
SPEAKER_00: And we should not in any way, shape, or form hesitate there because we've been given an example by the Lord Jesus Himself.
SPEAKER_00: He laid down his life for his bride, for his church.
SPEAKER_00: He gave it all up for his bride.
SPEAKER_00: And let's put it in the context of you and I.
SPEAKER_00: Romans 5.8.
SPEAKER_00: It says, God demonstrates his love for what?
SPEAKER_00: Us.
SPEAKER_00: We could make it personal for me.
SPEAKER_00: That while I was still a sinner, Christ died for me.
SPEAKER_00: And you could put your own name there.
SPEAKER_00: Friends, he did this because he made a covenant.
SPEAKER_00: And he makes this covenant real by putting unconditional love on display.
SPEAKER_00: It's spread out all over the gospel.
SPEAKER_00: Jesus came and he lived a life fulfilling the law that you and I cannot.
SPEAKER_00: He died the death that we deserve, making it a payment for our sin.
SPEAKER_00: He was buried in our place, which destroyed the power of sin over us.
SPEAKER_00: He rose victoriously, conquering death, hell in the grave, so that you and I don't have to fear it.
SPEAKER_00: And then he ascended to the right hand of the Father, where he is right now interceding for our sanctification.
SPEAKER_00: In addition to all that, he sent the Holy Spirit to equip us and to empower us to love our spouses earnestly all the time.
SPEAKER_00: Friends, I hope this morning that you will make it a priority to love your spouse as Christ loved the church.
SPEAKER_00: Let's go to the second point this morning.
SPEAKER_00: Endurance requires love to be sincere.
SPEAKER_00: Now, when Peter wrote the word sincere, he says, keep loving your spouse earnestly, what we have to do is look at the word earnestly because it comes out of a Greek word incontinent, which means fervently.
SPEAKER_00: But the word fervently also has some other parts to it.
SPEAKER_00: Fervently meaning with every fiber of your being, and then it goes on every fiber of your being without ceasing.
SPEAKER_00: Giving it your all all of the time.
SPEAKER_00: That term was often used in the ancient world to describe athletes who were running races and they strove to win that race.
SPEAKER_00: They gave it their all.
SPEAKER_00: It translates into stressing your love to an absolute limit and then more.
SPEAKER_00: I want you to remember the big idea this morning that endurance, which means giving it your all, is the bridge between doing God's will and receiving his reward.
SPEAKER_00: Charles Spurgeon put together a great little illustration.
SPEAKER_00: I think it illustrates the point great.
SPEAKER_00: He says, by perseverance or by enduring, the snail reached the ark.
SPEAKER_00: There's the reward.
SPEAKER_00: It endured and it got the reward.
SPEAKER_00: Let me play it out for you this morning in Hebrews.
SPEAKER_00: Again, Hebrews spells it out so great because he marries the word endurance to God's will and to the reward.
SPEAKER_00: Listen to what it says.
SPEAKER_00: You have need of endurance.
SPEAKER_00: And I know without a doubt that there are people in this room today that are looking at their gauge and they're saying the blinking red light of the gas gauge is going out.
SPEAKER_00: Their car and their marriage is chugging along.
SPEAKER_00: They want to pull over and they want to stop.
SPEAKER_00: And friends, if that's you here today, you need to hear God's word to say, endure.
SPEAKER_00: And I'm not saying just survive.
SPEAKER_00: I'm saying give it to the Lord so that you thrive.
SPEAKER_00: Because here's what Hebrews 10, 36 says, for you have need of endurance, so that when you have done the will of God, which is to love your spouse earnestly, you may receive what is promised.
SPEAKER_00: There's the reward.
SPEAKER_00: Love endures all things.
SPEAKER_00: Listen to what the Apostle Paul said to Timothy.
SPEAKER_00: This is 2 Timothy 2, verse 12.
SPEAKER_00: Because it marries the word endure to reward again, but he gives us a two-letter word that's huge.
SPEAKER_00: He starts with this verse with the big word if.
SPEAKER_00: If.
SPEAKER_00: Because it tells us if one thing or if not the other.
SPEAKER_00: And here's what it says: if we endure, if we love earnestly, which is the will of the Lord, we will also reign with him, the reward.
SPEAKER_00: Which tells us, if we don't, we won't.
SPEAKER_00: So we have to recognize if we endure, we will receive the reward of reigning with him.
SPEAKER_00: I want to give you one more this morning, 1 Timothy chapter 4, verse 7 and 8.
SPEAKER_00: This is such a beautiful verse because it marries all of the words together.
SPEAKER_00: It marries the word earnestly, it marries the word endure, reward, and promise.
SPEAKER_00: It goes beyond.
SPEAKER_00: Listen to what the apostle Paul says.
SPEAKER_00: He says, I have fought the good fight.
SPEAKER_00: Which, if you put it in this text, we would recognize what he's saying.
SPEAKER_00: I have loved earnestly.
SPEAKER_00: I've done God's will.
SPEAKER_00: And then he goes on.
SPEAKER_00: I have finished the race.
SPEAKER_00: I have kept the faith.
SPEAKER_00: I have endured, which is the bridge between the reward.
SPEAKER_00: And here's the reward.
SPEAKER_00: Henceforth, there's laid up for me a crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous judge, will award me to on that day.
SPEAKER_00: But not only me, but also all who have loved his appearance.
SPEAKER_00: There's the promise.
SPEAKER_00: Friends, I hope you would understand something.
SPEAKER_00: The reward comes from enduring.
SPEAKER_00: And that reward will be eternal.
SPEAKER_00: Some people might be sitting here today saying, Pastor Mike, you don't have no idea what I'm going through.
SPEAKER_00: And you're right, I don't.
SPEAKER_00: God does.
SPEAKER_00: And God's word is still applicable to you today.
SPEAKER_00: And I want to put it into context, and I read a book by Timothy Keller, and this comes out of that book, and I would hope that you hear what he's saying, because it rings so clear.
SPEAKER_00: In any relationship, there will be frightening spells in which your feelings of love dry up.
SPEAKER_00: And when that happens, you must remember that the essence of marriage is that it is a covenant, it's a commitment, a promise of future love.
SPEAKER_00: So that, what do you do?
SPEAKER_00: You do the acts of love despite your lack of feeling.
SPEAKER_00: You may not feel tender, sympathetic, or eager to please, but in your actions you must be tender, understanding, forgiving, and helpful.
SPEAKER_00: And if you do that, and I would pause there and say, if you do that, if you do the endurance and you love earnestly, the times that you will, excuse me, as time goes on, you will not only get through the dry spells, but they will become less frequent and deep, and you will become more constant in your feelings.
SPEAKER_00: This is what happens when you decide to love.
SPEAKER_00: Friends, that is so true.
SPEAKER_00: In order for us to love earnestly and to keep loving with endurance, we have to make it God's love, not ours.
SPEAKER_00: Our love is shallow and it will wear out.
SPEAKER_00: God's love is eternal, it's a powerful thing, it changes lives, it changes marriage.
SPEAKER_00: But we recognize that we have to apply God's love, and God's love is this it's intentional, it's sacrificial, and it's focused, very, very focused.
SPEAKER_00: So, husbands, hear me out.
SPEAKER_00: You must love your wives earnestly.
SPEAKER_00: You must keep loving your wives earnestly.
SPEAKER_00: And wives, the same.
SPEAKER_00: You must keep loving your husbands earnestly, just as Christ loved the church.
SPEAKER_00: Remember, the dozer of all doozers.
SPEAKER_00: I would hope this morning that you take that passage of Scripture full on.
SPEAKER_00: I must keep loving my spouse earnestly.
SPEAKER_00: Third point.
SPEAKER_00: Endurance requires love to be blind.
SPEAKER_00: Peter finishes this verse by saying, love covers a multitude of sins.
SPEAKER_00: What that means is you're turning a blind eye to the sin of your spouse.
SPEAKER_00: Charles Spurgeon said it so well.
SPEAKER_00: Listen to how he said it.
SPEAKER_00: Endurance in the Christian life is not a stiff denial of difficulty.
SPEAKER_00: You're not denying that their sin, and you're not denying that it's hurtful.
SPEAKER_00: Rather, what you're doing is you're given steady confidence in God's faithfulness that endures through trials.
SPEAKER_00: Friends, turning a blind eye to the sin of your spouse, it's not ignoring that their sin is there.
SPEAKER_00: What it's doing is not keeping you from loving your spouse earnestly and fulfilling your covenant.
SPEAKER_00: Their sin should not affect your covenant.
SPEAKER_00: Now, there's a lot of verses that I could bring to your attention this morning to help us understand that.
SPEAKER_00: There's a few Old Testament ones that I'll bring up, Proverbs chapter 10, verse 12.
SPEAKER_00: We recognize there's a contrast here.
SPEAKER_00: Hatred stirs up strife.
SPEAKER_00: Every time we allow the sin of our spouse to create anger and frustration, and we play it out in a fight, what happens is we turn to anger, and that anger is turned to hatred, and now it's strife.
SPEAKER_00: But if we allow love to cover the offense, we stop it altogether.
SPEAKER_00: Remember earlier we talked about we are to bless our spouse?
SPEAKER_00: Here's a great one to apply.
SPEAKER_00: Psalm 32, verse 1 says, Blessed are those whose transgressions are forgiven, whose sin is covered.
SPEAKER_00: I will tell you, when you are blessed within the marriage and your spouse is overlooking your sin and blessing you by doing that, what do you do?
SPEAKER_00: You fall in love with that person.
SPEAKER_00: New Testament parallel.
SPEAKER_00: 1 Corinthians chapter 13, verse 5.
SPEAKER_00: Love is patient and kind.
SPEAKER_00: It does not keep a record of wrongs.
SPEAKER_00: Just recently I was one in a marital counseling situation, and the person sat across from me and brought a spiral notebook and start, I said, So why are you here?
SPEAKER_00: And starts reading this papers.
SPEAKER_00: I'm like, can I stop you for just a second?
SPEAKER_00: Sure, Pastor Mike.
SPEAKER_00: It's like, what are you reading?
SPEAKER_00: Um, I'm reading to you everything that my spouse is doing.
SPEAKER_00: This is why I'm here.
SPEAKER_00: I need counsel.
SPEAKER_00: Six and a half pages.
SPEAKER_00: And so I stopped the individual and I said, Can you just tell me one thing?
SPEAKER_00: Sure.
SPEAKER_00: Where are your pages?
SPEAKER_00: The things that you have done.
SPEAKER_00: And you know what the response was?
SPEAKER_00: I know I'm not perfect, but now why am I bringing that up?
SPEAKER_00: Because I brought it up to this individual.
SPEAKER_00: You know what?
SPEAKER_00: You've already violated scripture.
SPEAKER_00: And the eyes got that big, it's like, well, what do you mean?
SPEAKER_00: I'm like, you just violated scripture.
SPEAKER_00: You brought a record of wrongs.
SPEAKER_00: Therefore, you're not demonstrating love.
SPEAKER_00: You see, I could clear out all the counseling in the church right there, just by me being that kind of a whack.
SPEAKER_00: Maybe that would be helpful, I don't know.
SPEAKER_00: But let's just continue on.
SPEAKER_00: 1 Corinthians 13 7 tells us love bears all things.
SPEAKER_00: Love endures all things.
SPEAKER_00: We also see the covering communication in Colossians 3.13, where Paul says to the church, bear with one another.
SPEAKER_00: And if one has a complaint against another, forgive.
SPEAKER_00: Love is bearing and forgiving as one another.
SPEAKER_00: But here's the mic drop moment.
SPEAKER_00: Here's the game changer.
SPEAKER_00: Bear with and love and forgive as the Lord has forgiven you.
SPEAKER_00: Is that the standard we use in our marriage?
SPEAKER_00: Is that the standard we use for our spouse?
SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna forgive you, I'm gonna bear with you, I'm gonna put up with your sin, just like the Lord has done for me.
SPEAKER_00: Should change our demeanor.
SPEAKER_00: It should cause us to look at ourselves and say, What has the Lord done for me?
SPEAKER_00: That's how I should be doing for my spouse.
SPEAKER_00: Let's put it into context with uh how Matthew Henry addressed it.
SPEAKER_00: Love inclines people to forgive and forget offenses against them and to conceal the sins of the other, rather than spreading them and creating division from them.
SPEAKER_00: He went on to note this that without such love, listen to this part, Satan will exploit human faults and cause that community or that marriage to fracture.
SPEAKER_00: Every time we fail to overlook the failure or the sin of our spouse and we engage, the enemy is going to exploit that.
SPEAKER_00: And do we not recognize the Bible tells us very clearly the enemy comes to rob, kill, and destroy?
SPEAKER_00: Does it not tell us that we are to not engage with our spouse because we're not wrestling against them, we're wrestling against the enemy?
SPEAKER_00: Friends, that's the time we should pick up the shield of faith and extinguish all the fiery darts that are fired our way.
SPEAKER_00: Now I know some people in the room would probably be saying, but Pastor Mike, what about this?
SPEAKER_00: And what about that?
SPEAKER_00: What if, what if, what if?
SPEAKER_00: Two big words that often get used.
SPEAKER_00: And I want to give you some clarity.
SPEAKER_00: There is some clarity to be had.
SPEAKER_00: Commentaries do bring this up.
SPEAKER_00: Commentaries do, the commentary commentators do distinguish between covering minor human imperfections and ignoring overt sin.
SPEAKER_00: Overt sin needs to be dealt with.
SPEAKER_00: The Bible is very clear on that, and how we address that with our spouse is usually what would create the fight or create repair.
SPEAKER_00: And we do need to understand that.
SPEAKER_00: But even with that said, I want to read to you something Dr.
SPEAKER_00: Dwayne Gruden says, and I agree with this wholeheartedly.
SPEAKER_00: Where love abounds, many small offenses, and yes, even some large ones, are readily overlooked and forgotten.
SPEAKER_00: But where love is lacking, every word is viewed with suspicion, every action is liable to misunderstanding, and conflicts will abound.
SPEAKER_00: All to Satan's perverse delight.
SPEAKER_00: Did you hear that?
SPEAKER_00: Every time that we allow ourselves to pay attention to the sin of our spouse, and we engage on the level of challenge, what we're doing is making the devil giddy.
SPEAKER_00: We're giving him delight.
SPEAKER_00: We're causing him to have a good day.
SPEAKER_00: We're causing him to rise up and say, You stepped into my snare, you stepped into my trap.
SPEAKER_00: My schemes are destroying your marriage.
SPEAKER_00: My friends, that is why Solomon in all of his wisdom said this in Proverbs 19, 11.
SPEAKER_00: It is to one's glory to overlook an offense.
SPEAKER_00: I would hope that you would just look at your spouse right now and say, It's to my glory to overlook your offense.
SPEAKER_00: Oh, we would change our marriages if we just started there.
SPEAKER_00: Let me remind you of why this is so vitally important and so vitally easy to do.
SPEAKER_00: Let me take you to Psalm 103, verse 10.
SPEAKER_00: He being God does not deal with us according to our sins, nor repay us according to our iniquities.
SPEAKER_00: How many would say, Amen to do that?
SPEAKER_00: The big question comes up.
SPEAKER_00: It does for me.
SPEAKER_00: With all of my sins forgiven and not held against me, how in the world can I hold any sin against my spouse?
SPEAKER_00: I can't.
SPEAKER_00: Because what I have done is put Christ on the cross.
SPEAKER_00: Her words, her actions, her lack of words, her lacks of things will never compare to the sin that I committed to put Christ on the cross.
SPEAKER_00: Because, friends, when Christ went to the cross for me, that is steadfast love.
SPEAKER_00: That is enduring love.
SPEAKER_00: That is mercy and that is grace at its finest.
SPEAKER_00: I want to wrap this up this morning by giving you three quick points of application.
SPEAKER_00: Because I know somebody might be sitting here today going, Pastor, I just don't know how I'm going to cross this bridge.
SPEAKER_00: I don't know how I can endure.
SPEAKER_00: First thing, number one, you've got to humble yourself.
SPEAKER_00: Stop being self-righteous and thinking to yourself, my sin has not lived into the same state that my spouses have.
SPEAKER_00: We are all sinners in need of God's grace.
SPEAKER_00: That should have been an amen.
SPEAKER_00: We need to humble ourselves before the Lord.
SPEAKER_00: The Bible says he opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble.
SPEAKER_00: Humble ourselves and admit, yes, too, I sinned.
SPEAKER_00: I have failed.
SPEAKER_00: The second thing we need to do is stop trying to endure in our own strength.
SPEAKER_00: You will run out of gas.
SPEAKER_00: You will get tired and you'll grow weary.
SPEAKER_00: You'll grow faint.
SPEAKER_00: And you will be unable to continue to endure in your own strength.
SPEAKER_00: I want to close with the third point, Matthew 11, 28.
SPEAKER_00: One of my favorite verses in all the Bible, actually.
SPEAKER_00: Because Jesus is telling us, come to me.
SPEAKER_00: You know when he says, come to me, what he is saying not to do?
SPEAKER_00: Not to go to a therapist, not to go to a pastor, not to go to a friend or a small group leader.
SPEAKER_00: All those are great tools.
SPEAKER_00: But come to me.
SPEAKER_00: Not to the bar, not to the casino, not to the internet, not to a book, not to a podcast, but come to me.
SPEAKER_00: All who labor and are heavy laden, those who are out of gas.
SPEAKER_00: And what does he promise?
SPEAKER_00: I will give you rest.
SPEAKER_00: You know what rest is?
SPEAKER_00: Refreshment.
SPEAKER_00: The ability to get up and keep going.
SPEAKER_00: But he doesn't stop there.
SPEAKER_00: He gives us an instruction here.
SPEAKER_00: Take my yoke upon you.
SPEAKER_00: You know what the yoke is?
SPEAKER_00: It's a tool of work, it's a tool of partnership.
SPEAKER_00: Take my yoke, which I belong to, and I will be there with you.
SPEAKER_00: Take my yoke upon you and learn from me.
SPEAKER_00: Why do we learn from the Lord?
SPEAKER_00: Because he does everything perfect.
SPEAKER_00: Learn from me.
SPEAKER_00: Because I'm gentle and I'm lonely in heart.
SPEAKER_00: That's what you will be when you partner with me.
SPEAKER_00: And what does he promise?
SPEAKER_00: You will find rest for your souls.
SPEAKER_00: I close with this verse.
SPEAKER_00: Friends, I hope this is an encouragement to you today.
SPEAKER_00: 2 Peter 1, verse 3.
SPEAKER_00: His divine power has granted to us all things that pertain to life and godliness through the knowledge of Him who called us to His own glory and excellence.
SPEAKER_00: That's what God has called us to this morning, to His glory.
SPEAKER_00: And we do so by loving our spouse earnestly, for love covers a multitude of sins.
SPEAKER_00: Let me pray for you this morning.
SPEAKER_00: Father God, we thank you.
SPEAKER_00: We praise you for your word.
SPEAKER_00: We know that your word is quick and powerful and effective.
SPEAKER_00: Lord, it separates the spirit from the soul, and it separates even, Father, the things that we think and the things that we know.
SPEAKER_00: And I pray this morning that your word would lodge deep into our hearts.
SPEAKER_00: Forgive us for giving into our weaknesses.
SPEAKER_00: Father, please forgive us for giving up on our covenant.
SPEAKER_00: I ask that you'll refresh today in us your love, the love that you've given to us, the steadfast love that endures forever.
SPEAKER_00: And Father, may we reflect that in how we love our spouse.
SPEAKER_00: Maybe reflect that in how we love one another.
SPEAKER_00: I pray, Father, that you'll empower us today, encourage us this morning, change and transform us by the renewing of your mind.
SPEAKER_00: All for your glory and for our good.
SPEAKER_00: And we ask these things in Jesus' name.
SPEAKER_00: Amen.