Full Fledged Podcast
Full Fledged is a powerful mother and son podcast with Jerry "JC" Shirer Jr and Priscilla Shirer. The dynamic duo is here to bring you laughter, joy, and a lot of wisdom from their brutally honest conversations
Full Fledged Podcast
Discussing What's Actually Important in Life with Jackson Shirer
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In this episode of Full Fledged, JC and Priscilla are joined by a special guest, Jackson Shirer, for a real, unfiltered conversation about what actually matters in life. With two generations and two different perspectives at the table, this episode goes deeper than surface-level advice. They unpack the difference between what feels important and what truly is. With the main takeaway being that Christianity gives us the answers and meaning to all of life.
Does community really help you stay, I guess, motivated, for lack of better words, but yeah, motivated or inspired or help you actually tangibly do things that you don't want to do.
SPEAKER_04I know you heard the saying, show me your group of friends, I'll show you who you become. Like if you continue to hang around community who's gonna lead you away, you're gonna be right there with them. But if you fill yourself a community with people who are uplifting, who are gonna continue to strive for the kingdom to be the best person that they can be, you're gonna do the same thing for yourself because that's all you're seeing within your community, within your family, within your community, even if it's not in your family. If you fill yourself up with community like that and bring it back to your family, who's to say that can't change something in their heart and their spirit.
SPEAKER_01Well, we are back for full-fledged the homie podcast. Do you feel homie today? I do feel homie. I feel cozy. You know, there's something about being here in this house that just makes me feel like I just want to lay down and take a nap, actually.
SPEAKER_05I I feel home. I would I'm I was eating some chips. I just got something stuck in my throat. Hold on one sec. I don't know what just happened right there. So, anyways, I was saying is I would be more homey if I could sit in the position that I wanted to, but because I don't have socks on, I don't want to bless y'all with my toes like that. So I'm not I'm trying to be, you know, cognizant of making sure that y'all good. So I, you know what I'm saying?
SPEAKER_01I don't want people to- So you don't want to put your feet just on the coffee table.
SPEAKER_05I got a nice toes though, really. You have decent feet for a boy for a boy and an athlete. Yes. A low-key, you know what I'm saying? You do, but you don't want to bless the people. The petties be coming in the clutch, the pedicure across the street be. You know what I'm saying?
SPEAKER_01Anyway, welcome. We're off task starting off. However, we love to not bless you with toes, but bless you with our opening song.
SPEAKER_05I see what you're trying to do there. Hey, hey, hey, I got one in me. I did the one. I did the one. I did the one. I did the one. I was embarrassed.
SPEAKER_01Welcome. We're so glad you're here. I'm here with my son, JC Shire. This is his podcast. I am a guest host on his podcast.
SPEAKER_05A guest host. What does that even mean?
SPEAKER_01It means that you I did it with Candace Cameron Baret once, where I guest hosted her whole season. We were together for her a whole season of her show. I was so grateful she let me do that.
SPEAKER_05I'm here for life.
SPEAKER_01I'm here for life.
SPEAKER_05You ain't got no. Yeah. No, that's it, brother. Sister. This is it.
SPEAKER_01Well, today is a special day because I get the privilege of introducing my first son, my oldest son. This is going to be a very interesting conversation because people by and large, when we asked who in the world would you like for us to have on as a guest, they were saying, We want to hear from Jackson. We want to get to know Jackson. He is our oldest of the three boys. So he is the one that made me a mom. He is our quietest of the three boys.
SPEAKER_05No doubt, for sure. Loki, like he's really not that quiet, really.
SPEAKER_01He's an introvert. He's wired just like his dad in that way. He loved to always be behind the scenes. The fact that we got him in front of a camera with a microphone in front of his face is a miracle. Would you say that?
SPEAKER_05Yeah, a thousand percent.
SPEAKER_01It's a thousand percent a miracle. He's like the the picture of quiet strength. If you could look up, if Jackson's name was in the definition, was in the uh Webster's dictionary with a definition, it would be quiet strength.
SPEAKER_05I think it's a blessing that he got on the podcast. He told me I'm not coming on the podcast unless I get to wear gold grills. I said, sir, that's not. And so the fact that he's on the podcast without gold grills is the blessing.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, we're not doing the grills. We're not doing the gold grills. I don't think we have it.
SPEAKER_04I haven't gotten my introduction yet.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, no, we haven't finished the intro.
SPEAKER_04I I appreciate everything y'all saying, but yeah, I would love to have my gold grills in right now. For sure. For sure. But it's okay. It's okay.
SPEAKER_01Do you own gold grills?
SPEAKER_04Huh?
SPEAKER_00Do you own grills?
SPEAKER_04Yeah, I do.
SPEAKER_00I think we need to start the conversation right here.
SPEAKER_04It's okay. Yeah, we can start it right here. That's cool. That's cool. I got my gold grills when I was at my HBCU, having a good time at my HBCU, uh, Delaware State University.
SPEAKER_01You bought some grills?
SPEAKER_04I did buy some grills. I did. I ain't gonna lie, some grills are kind of fire, it just depends on which ones you get. Maybe I got eight by eight though. But I'm not gonna I'm not gonna wear them in here, but it's okay. I wanted to.
SPEAKER_01I have never seen you wear these. I know.
SPEAKER_04It's probably perfect. For sure.
SPEAKER_01So you have intentionally not worn them around me? Correct. So where are you when you wear them?
SPEAKER_04Uh I haven't worn them recently. But you know, when I used to go out and things at college, I would wear them, hang out with friends, um, you know, go into spades events or things like that.
SPEAKER_01Spades events where everybody's playing spades and stuff.
SPEAKER_04When I'll throw on a little fit, girls coming on as well. So I mean, it's just really the vibe. Like, if the if I feel like hey, it's a good time to put on these grills, great, let's do it.
SPEAKER_05There are some joints that, especially they get the canine ones. No, no, no, no. Those are fire. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not saying you got them, but I think they're fire. Like they had the canine joints. I think Chris Castillo had them one time. Oh, yeah. See, he's a fire, but I don't like it. I don't know if how it's on black people, but you know what?
SPEAKER_01If Chris Castillo is is watching this, I need you to know that I blame you for so much. My boys, the oldest two, have tattoos. We have a younger one coming up that's already begging me for a tattoo, which I've heard y'all have made deals with him about when he turns 18 and taking him to get a tattoo.
SPEAKER_05He he completely made all that. He didn't know that. Uh-oh. Yeah, I just ditched all of it in front of everybody. I mean, he made all that up.
SPEAKER_01The point is, y'all, y'all got all of that really from Chris Castillo.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, he was definitely the first. Smitty people name dropped, but Smitty. Yeah. Tattoo.
SPEAKER_04There's a lot of Chris's in y'all's lives who have done this. Oh, okay. And we gotta say Josh Ferris, too. Josh Ferris. For me, it wasn't even like that. For you, probably. No, for sure. When like he was the first, I would say he was the first male in our family to have tattoos.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, that's true. I wasn't remembered at first. Yeah, so when we got this half season, we were like, oh, yeah, that's fire. Like, that was good.
SPEAKER_01And y'all would have been much younger when y'all saw the show. I do remember that. Yeah.
SPEAKER_04So that was.
SPEAKER_01So Josh is married to Karis, who is my niece. So he she married someone who has tats and who has earrings. So y'all saw that and y'all were like, that's amazing. Yeah. And now my sons have tattoos and apparently gold grills. So anyway, um, I didn't realize the gold girls were a part of your aesthetic.
SPEAKER_04Um, not all the time, sometimes. Yes. Not anymore, though, as I walk in the spirit.
SPEAKER_05Um, but sometimes gold girls and walk in the spirit.
SPEAKER_04Of course, I feel like I can have gold girls and walk in the spirit, but I feel like where I'm trying to go in the image that I'm trying to put on, I don't feel like gold girls are necessarily a part of that. But at the same time, I'm like, and I can also reach a certain group of people while they have gold girls in. Like, I mean, if just imagine if Poppy had gold girls in while he preached the game. Poppy, can you imagine Dr. Tony Evans with gold girls? That'd be great. That'd be great.
SPEAKER_01You think it would be come on now. You think it would be great if your grandfather, Dr. Tony Evans, stood up to preach a message and opened up his mouth and there were gold girls. You don't think that'd be distracting?
SPEAKER_04I think it could be distracting, but I also think it could reach a whole new audience as well.
SPEAKER_01You think it would like for him to be the age and stage of life he's he's in to wear them would actually make people in the sense of getting a younger crowd in, I think so.
SPEAKER_04Because if you're like, oh you don't think they'd make fun of him?
SPEAKER_01You don't think that that guy, that grandfather, yeah.
SPEAKER_04He definitely could be made fun of, but also if you're preaching the word too, you don't know who can be impacted through the made fun of part. So yeah, at the end of the day, he can be made fun of for wearing these grills, which he will be made fun of for wearing the grill. Yeah, but also it can impact the younger generation because he's like, Oh, oh, do it grills, and he's preaching the word. What is he gonna say? Yeah, they're making fun of him, but it's like, oh, what's it? If he says something that's impactful to their life in that specific moment, he also feel like that could definitely be.
SPEAKER_05You would also lose all his other audience.
SPEAKER_04That's very true. Definitely, sure would. But you know, I'm speaking.
SPEAKER_01We're starting up this conversation like right in the middle of it. So I have some backstory questions we do need to ask you because people are curious about your perspective on your upbringing and that sort of thing. However, we just need to jump in right here for a second because we're already here. You just said that the grills don't necessarily match where you're going. I want to know because I get this question a lot as a mom. I want to know and ask y'all about the tattoos. Because even as your younger brother is like, mom, when I turn 18, can I get my first tattoo? I'm already really talking to him a whole lot about, I'm not against tattoos, but about about the placement of it. Because I've been talking about important it is to know that the your aesthetic when you're 30 will not be the same aesthetic that you have right now at 18. Right. It it's going to change. So I want to talk to you about that. What is your perspective on because you have tattoos, you have a sleeve.
SPEAKER_04Sleeve, chest, all that.
SPEAKER_01You have all that. All that. So talk to me about what you just said about the grills. Like they don't necessarily match the aesthetic you're going to. How does that correlate like with the tattoos you've gotten?
SPEAKER_04I can also feel like it just reaches a different audience, especially being in a different generation than you were born in and that Poppy was born in. I feel like the generation that we were born in, um, a lot of people have tattoos or have grills. Not to say that we should confine in two worldly things, but I also feel like it can also reach a different audience. Tim Timber, like when I first saw him preach, he has locks. I've never seen a preacher with locks before. So um that could also just be something to reach a different set of people.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, it's an aesthetic that kind of connects with a different group. 100%. Yeah.
SPEAKER_05That's what I'm trying to say. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Understood.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, I mean, I I I would agree. Like, especially like now, like I I even tend to cater to more people who are not just like not this is bad, but like super upright, standing straight like straight like yeah, like uh people who are just like sitting here just talking and like have a chill backwards hat like tattoos. I'm like, yeah, that's real. You know what I mean? Like, yeah, yeah. It like it just it it it it it it hits me differently too. So I I mean I understand that.
SPEAKER_04At the end of the day, I feel like it's just being yourself too. Like you don't want to try and be like everybody else, you know what I'm saying? Like just be you. God made you how he made you, so be you. If you want tattoos, go get tattoos. If you want piercings, go get piercings. Like, as long as it's not going against what the scripture is saying, yeah, I feel like it's so what?
SPEAKER_01So it's like you still can honor God and have integrity and love the Lord and have tattoos. 100% in grills, it grills. So okay, let's backtrack a little bit for those of you who have never met Jackson Shire, because this is my outspoken one, so a lot of people have known his face or seen him. Um, but maybe not Jackson, because Jackson's very quiet and personal and internal and would rather not be in front of a group.
SPEAKER_04100%.
SPEAKER_01But here he is. This is Jackson Shire, my handsome oldest son. You are how old now, Jacks?
SPEAKER_04I'm 23.
SPEAKER_0123 years old. You mentioned that you went to an HBC. You went to Liberty for the first part of your uh schooling and then Delaware State University. And so you've had two different experiences in school. But long before school, you were raised in a household where your mother homeschooled you, traveled with y'all all over the place. And folks want to know what's the question, JC?
SPEAKER_05What is the question? Well, it's like, what did what were the experiences you had growing up in the the the house of a prominent Christian family, especially in the Metropolis? Like everybody did if W knew Tony Evans was, everybody knew who Priscilla Shire was, all the things. So how did it affect you growing up, or did it affect you growing up? And like what what was that like?
SPEAKER_01You know, positively or negatively.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, I feel like I feel like the first thing that comes to my mind is it that is kind of what made me into an introvert. Because as we would kind of go out with you all the time, go out poppy, wherever the case may be, people are always stopping you guys, you know what I'm saying? Saying how you've been a blessing in their life, which is not a bad thing. Right. But at the same time, I'm like, I don't really want to sell. Like I'm trying to chill, you know? Yeah. So that right there necessarily, that would say made me an introvert for sure. Or put me in the introverted mindset towards like, eh, I don't really want to go in a coffee shop and have uh 800 people come and say hi to me. Like, I just want to do what I gotta do. Like I'm coming here, do what I have to do, then I'm trying to leave, you know? Yeah. Like, of course, if the Lord's like, hey, me answer to this person or talk to this person or da da da, that's different. But it's like a whole bunch of people kind of coming up and saying, hey, this, this, that, that. I'm I'm like, uh, yeah.
SPEAKER_01So would you say that's kind of been one of just the hardest things with your personality type the way it is, and like you said, kind of kind of booing it up even more. Would you say that's kind of been one of the harder parts of our family dynamics?
SPEAKER_04I wouldn't say that's a harder part because it's been a part of my life for my entire life. So I've been able to get used to it, you know? Like I can easily, I won't say put on a persona, but it's it's not hard for me to go talk to people, or it's not hard for me to be like, oh, you said this about my family, my family's been a blessing to you. I'm so glad my family has been a blessing to you. Let me pray for you. That's not hard for me to do because that's spirit-led. Like the Holy Spirit speaking through me in that situation. I'm not speaking through myself because if I was continuing to walk in my flesh and speak through myself, I'm just gonna walk away from you. I don't want to talk to you for real. It was the Holy Spirit talking to you, not me. So yeah, I mean that's that's really all it is for me.
SPEAKER_01Did you like being homeschooled?
SPEAKER_04No. I mean, uh that was fast. Sorry, that was fast. I would say to a certain degree, but I would also say no. And the reason I would say no is because I just feel like it put me in a position to where I didn't necessarily uh how do I want to say this? I feel like it just put me in a position where I just had one perspective of the world to where when I stepped into high school and went to a public school, like it was all brand new for me. So like I didn't understand, like, you know what I'm saying, peop other people's backgrounds or what other people may have come through, or like I've just only seen one thing and been a part of one thing my entire life. Um so like stepping into the world and seeing how people were raised, how people act, how different things are done um according to the spirit and not according to the spirit, and what people think is right, is wrong, whatever the case may be. I feel like being homeschooled put me in a mindset where it's like, uh, the world is all cupcakes and rainbows, and yeah, da da da da when that's not the case.
SPEAKER_05No, yeah, that's exactly right. I I also I want to say something about this because I think that's actually so true, especially being at liberty, um, where like there's a lot of uh homeschooled people. It generally, even the stereotype, which is sometimes true, is like that they're sheltered. Like they only like you know, they they're they're in their house. Social cues aren't like on 10, you know what I'm saying? They're like at like a four at a 10 scale. Um, and so like it's just like they they're navigating the world just is different because they've never had to do it in a real practical time. And so even then it it it becomes when they go to the the the outside of the bubble, then it's like oh shoot, I don't know what to do, or I don't know how to handle myself with the freedom. And so even uh it wasn't necessarily that for me because I feel like I went from I went from like with um homeschool to private school, so I feel like it was a little different, but so did he, yeah. So did he, but yeah, for me. Um, but even just in general, like the the bigger principle of the topic of um like like what's the even as a parent, like how do you expose your kid enough to where they don't just go out and go buo crazy and just do wild stuff or not know how to talk to people, yeah, but also where you're like I still don't want you to go to public school with uh the ratchet people, you know what I'm saying? Yeah, I'm not saying all public school is ratchet, but you get my point.
SPEAKER_01Right. Public school has great people and and people that don't aren't living in a way that is aligning with you, but so does private school.
SPEAKER_05Some around here, ratchet, real ratchet those.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, it doesn't matter where you go, you still gotta pick your people, you know. Um that that is the question you just asked, really is the question of the century as a parent. Because you're you're trying to figure out the best way you can to help your child to have the mindset or the foundation that you hope will serve them throughout the rest of their life and will help to buffer them. But at the same time, you're right, it could be that you overdo that. I'm sure some parents do overdo that. I'm sure some parents don't do it enough. But I do want to say to you guys, I have like 18 things to say, but people that don't have the lifestyle we have, they don't have the moral compass we have, they don't believe in the scriptures, they're not Christians. They they have a totally different moral moral compass. I know a whole lot of families like that that homeschool their kids. And those kids grow up in that bubble. Because every family, if their parents are intentional, there is a they are focused on trying to form these kids' mindset, maybe their passions, maybe their steer them in a specific direction, have a foundation, whatever they deem to be a priority and important. So, really, as a parent, you're really doing the best you can to give your kid what's important, right? Um, which obviously was our intention. Part of our goal too was we traveled a lot. So we thought, man, the the world should be these kids' classroom. Like, why sit in a classroom when y'all can go to Australia and you've been to Europe and you've been all over the US and you got to see the church in different forms because we'd go to places where they spoke different accents and you know, all that stuff. So I thought that was really cool. It's still the bubble, morally speaking, in the sense that we were traveling to different churches and ministry organizations. But I I hoped that you guys would see different people, different kinds of realities, but it's not the same as when you go to college and people have a whole different framework for living. Um, I ran into that too the older that I got. So um, what y'all didn't miss though was social awareness.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, no, I y'all, y'all were social. No, I don't think that that's not I wasn't referring to me, I was just in general. What is going on, full-fledged family? I just want to let you know the last four years of my life were the most transformative years of my life by far. And a big part of the reason why I was able to transform in the way that I have is because of Liberty University. I spent four years there as a residential student, and it was nothing short of impactful. It was amazing. I mean, the way that the teachers, the coaches, the staff, everybody that I encountered had a genuine love for Jesus and a want to see the students grow. It was phenomenal. I mean, they had the largest online program as well, so they have something for everybody. So it was just truly incredible. They cultivate their students, they really train champions for Christ, and I can say that truly as a firsthand experience of it. If you want your life to be transformed and changed just like mine, go to liberty.edu slash full fledged to get your application fee waived. Again, that's liberty.edu slash full fledged. Come join the family.
SPEAKER_01Do you feel like that you had a social um deficiency because of homeschooling or not necessarily?
SPEAKER_04I wouldn't say I had a social deficiency, uh-huh, but I would say it was harder for me to connect with people because I was homeschooled. Really? Because of the worldview that I had. Like I was only seeing this. I didn't see, I couldn't see everything else. So it was harder for me to connect with everybody. So I wouldn't say it made me less social. I would just say it was harder for me to connect.
SPEAKER_01So what would you say, Jackson? Just thinking about you personally, like not your brothers, just you. What have been some of the hardest things you faced in your upbringing? School aside, just struggles you've had, things that you've internally dealt with that you've had to hurdles you've had to get over.
SPEAKER_04I got two. Okay. And this is deep, deep stuff. Okay. When Octavon and Granny were living with us, I remember literally every single night. I'm going to Granny's room. We're praying every night, we're talking every night before we go to bed. This one night, before it was after a game. We won. I didn't go say goodnight to her that night because I got back late. Um, went upstairs, went to sleep. The next morning we had film. I came back from film, usually Granny, you know, outside making her coffee. She wasn't out making her coffee this time. I couldn't sleep on the couch. I was like, yo, where's Granny at? He was like, Oh, she's still asleep. I was going back to her room to say, What's up? You know, Granny, like, every time she hears a little creak, she's up, she's on 10. I opened the door. Nothing. Yeah. I walked over. I remember putting my head on her chest, and that was such a distinct feeling. I would never forget that feeling, but it's so hard to describe. It was like a hard, soft feeling. I don't know how to explain it. But she wasn't moving, neither was her heart beating, nor was she nor was she breathing. I went out and told Ogvan what's going on. He ran to the room, got dad. Dad ran back to the room. And then it clicked in my mind that you know she wasn't waking up. So you were at basketball practice, JC. I should remember that. Yeah. Came to pick you up from practice. And I remember telling you in the car, like, yo, you know what I'm saying? This is going on. You gotta be strong for for dad right now because he's losing his mom. That's all he had, you know? So that was definitely something I had to internalize at 18 years old, finding my grandma, who I spent a lot of months with.
SPEAKER_01Y'all spent a lot of time with her.
SPEAKER_04I found her dead in her room. So about a year and a half, two years later, I think, Uncle Vaughn, he was living with us and he got diagnosed with stage four cancer. He was staying in my room at the time. And when I came back from spring break, he was like, Yeah, Jack, I'm gonna give you your room back. I'm like, Oh, you crazy. Like, stay in the room. Like, you're good. I'm sleeping in the I'm sleeping in the game room. So I remember coming around from the game room, and I see Uncle Vaughn sitting at the top of the stairs and dad standing over him. So I'm just sitting, I'm like, oh, you good, Uncle? He was like, Yeah, I'm good. I just gotta catch my breath. Um, so we're just standing there, you know. I wasn't thinking too much about it until I saw you downstairs on the phone with 911 saying how you saw him fall. And then that's when everything started to click in my head. And I remember Uncle Vaughn distinctly saying, I need air, I need air, I can't breathe, I need air. Paramedics finally came. He's still saying, I need air, I need air. Mind you, he's breathing even harder at this time. Like I can see his chest. Chest, like just trying to get air. And paramedics, they put air on him, his eyes closed, and they never opened again. So I found my grandma, who I spent all my time with dead, and I watched my uncle, who we spent all the time with as well, die. And that's not even talking about all of the other stuff we went through as a family as well. Yeah. These two specifically were just hard, very, very hard for me to deal with because we spent so much time together. Like we were with them every single weekend. Even throughout the week, when you're traveling, we're not traveling with you. We're with them. So what finding one dead and watching the other one go lifeless was just how did it be?
SPEAKER_05How did that okay? How did that or did it affect you spiritually? Where you were like, okay, guy, like what's going on, bro? Like, you know what I'm saying? Like how what were the thought processes after that? Uh or up to even up to this point, because you're still pretty much feeling it. Like, what are the thought processes or wrestle with God in this in a feeling like that? You know what I'm saying?
SPEAKER_04Yeah, man. I I really just got to a point where I was just bro, I don't, I don't care. I don't care. We all live to die. That's the that's what I felt because we're literally like all of all of our family feels like it's it's dying off. That's what it feels like. We're at funerals, multiple funerals yearly, every single year. Yeah. So it just feels like we're all just dying off. And at that point, it just felt like, all right, we're all just live to die. Like we're all just living to die. So man, it just it took me a long time to get to a point of peace, knowing that Ogavon and Granny and everybody else who was passing our family would rather be with Lord the Lord than be in pain here. It took me a minute to to really understand that. But once I did understand that, I was like, okay, this is the peace that the Holy Spirit promised us. Even though that we go through pain here on this earth, um, our bodies may not work how they how we want them to work. Um at the end of the day, the Holy Spirit promised us that when we pass, we're gonna be with him as long as we walk according to the spirit and as long as we believe in him.
SPEAKER_01So that's the only thing that really is it's so interesting too that you're talking about this. For those of you who don't know, we lost like 10 family members in our family within five years. And so Jackson is exactly right. It was like we were all kind of like, what in the world is happening here because we were at funerals constantly and losing people in our family. But those two were at our house, and Jackson here's the question I'm getting to you is that I did not know until a year and a half or so after Granny passed away when you found her. No, I knew you found her. But it wasn't until a year and a half later that we were in me and you were in a random conversation. I was asking you how you're doing just in life. It wasn't about that specifically. But somehow the conversation got to that and you mentioned I laid my head on her chest. You even mentioned that you put your hand under her nose to see if it she was breathing. Some version of all that. I remember being completely shocked as your mom that I did not know it was all that, these layers of you trying to see if she's breathing, putting your head on her chest. That is tra that would be traumatic for anybody to kind of realize someone is not moving, not breathing, and that they're either already gone or leaving. And you at the time were I don't know, 18. So y'all are so young losing all these people. Then to find out you found your grandmother like that and went through all those layers of running to go get your uncle, going to get dad, that I remember you called me on your way to pick him up from basketball practice. You had these layers of trauma in that that I didn't know about. But the question is for a parent that might be watching this, I'm gonna ask you both sides of the coin. First of all, for a parent that might be watching this and maybe has an internal kid, see you're you process internally. You didn't tell me until a year and a half later what had happened. I knew you found her, but that's all you said. You didn't tell me how much it hurt you, you didn't tell me the the even what you shared now, how you wrestle with the Lord over who cares about life because we're dying anyway, like all this. I didn't know any of that because you didn't talk. So for a parent that has a kid that's internal, like you are, is there anything that could have been done by your parents or other your aunts and uncles who loved you if you're an internal person? He talked more about his feelings because he he talks more in general. But you you just real internal. Is there anything you feel like someone could have said or done to help you to draw that out?
SPEAKER_04Or do you feel like it just you just have to let that kind of kid let time pass and just I feel like that goes all the way back to to when we were kids, and I'm not saying this to say like yo, you were a bad parent or anything like that.
SPEAKER_01Go ahead, sorry.
SPEAKER_04But like you were just so just overprotective and just like I just felt overwhelmed when you were always just like, where you going, what you doing? Like it's just so many questions I didn't know the answer to. And then I remember times very vividly when like I would say I was going somewhere, and then I would go there and I would see your car there too. So then it was just I'm just like, What are you doing? Watch it. Like, like exactly like so that right there kind of led me to a point after a while I was like, I'm not gonna tell you anything because you're just gonna try and find out on your own anyways. So um I'm like, I feel like I feel like if like growing up, if you were kind of just like, hey, you know what I'm saying, allow me to to share what was going on without the extra over protection, the extra following me around, all that extra stuff, that it wouldn't have been a problem now. Um, but for up for anybody who was just internalizing anything by themselves, um, and that's just their natural personality, I would say like of course, just keep keep an eye on them because you never know what they're going through if they don't speak about it. But at the same time, they're gonna come to you if they want to come to you.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_04So like, just let them speak about it or just keep an eye on them continually, keep an eye on them because you never know what they're internalizing. Secondly, they'll come to you when it's time. Just continue to love on them, continue to pray for them. And then when the time is right, when they feel like it's okay for them to share, for them to really internalize what they have been through, what they're going through to share, then they'll do that.
SPEAKER_01That's good. That's that's very that's very helpful to a parent that has an internal kid and is not sure exactly how to how to counterbalance that. What do you think about? Well, I was I overprotected for you two?
SPEAKER_04I think I feel like you were way less with him than me.
SPEAKER_01Oh no, there were over times.
SPEAKER_04There were times, but like I did it. I feel like with me with you.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, wait a minute.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, for me, it was just overly.
SPEAKER_01When you guys are parents, this is gonna be so because you don't know in the moment you literally are doing the best you can with what you know, and then you learn later how one thing maybe that you did impacted all your kids differently. Like one person was unbothered, the other person it was overwhelming. Like you just are like, I don't know. But I don't feel like I was overprotected. But I hear you guys say sometimes that you felt like I was.
SPEAKER_03I'm sure you don't feel like that.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, but I'm saying what sometimes you would you was doing a little much, you were doing a little much.
SPEAKER_05Uh yeah.
SPEAKER_03But it's okay though, because we love you.
SPEAKER_05But no, this whole time I'm just thinking like the like I I've been reading a bunch of books recently, but I've been listening to a lot of sermons that have to do with the case for Christianity. And even when Jackson's talking about like taught like like wrestling with the meaning for life or the hope of like like what's the hope for us? What's the point of us working in earth if we're just gonna die and be forgotten? Like all those like morbid, deep questions that like are real and people think about. And then I think about like how great it is that my brain goes to what the gospel offers, you know what I mean? Like the fact that even he came to um a place where he could be like, oh no, like the fact that they are with God in unity is better than them being on earth here, like is it in the fact that they got grace regardless of what they did, like how they live, stuff they did. We don't know the fact that grace, if they're a believer, which they all were um in Jesus, they are in heaven with Jesus, like the that is like why like that that makes the case for Christianity like practical in real time. You know what I mean? Like even wrestling with it through the thing, but the whole wrestle part made you get to the point where like, oh no, Christianity is the real deal. You know what I'm saying? Like it gotta be, or I'm screwed, you know what I mean? Actually, actually, like it gotta be like it. It has to be, bro, bro. It's it. So like the fact that that's the the case for Christianity can be leaned on, can be wrestled with, can be what like like almost wanted to be ignored or forgotten, and it still holds up strong enough when the times is necessary, is like like it just gives me like a wow.
SPEAKER_01I don't know how people live on earth without that hope. Yeah, because it because earth is raggedy, it's ratchet, you know, it's a lot to you know, all the death and grief and and betrayal and heartbreak and disappointment. It without the hope that this is not it, I don't get Imagine this being it.
SPEAKER_05It's funny, this is almost super random. I was listening to this one well-known guy, he's in the health, and he was like, um, he said, you know, I'm I'm they're they're creating these machines or you know, something. I don't know if it's like you eat it or whatever, but it's basically like reducing your age. And I was like, who wanna reduce their age? Who wanna be I don't I don't wanna I want to feel young, but I don't want to be probably me. No, no, no. He was talking about like he humans living longer, like longer than long. Like one like a hundred is like like not yeah.
SPEAKER_01100 is long.
SPEAKER_05So I was no, but he's talking about like a hundred being young. Yeah. And I was like, I was like, uh-uh. I don't I don't think I want to do that. Like I was is that bad? I don't know if that's I'm like, I don't know. Earth there, earth not that fun. Like I ain't that good. I don't know what talking about. But anyway, it sounds funny.
SPEAKER_01So, Jackson, what do you like most and least about being the oldest brother?
SPEAKER_04Oh, good question. That is a good question. The what I like most and least about being the oldest? Uh-huh.
SPEAKER_01What has been maybe the what's been the hardest, what's been the best? What's you know, what's been the thing you like this worked out for me, being the oldest. And what's been the part that you like? I I hate this. Responsibility or what?
SPEAKER_04I don't think there's a part that I hate. Okay. I can't say there's a part that I hate.
SPEAKER_01Or like the least.
SPEAKER_04I don't feel like there's a part that I like the least. I feel like the the hardest part is knowing that I have two younger brothers who look up to me.
SPEAKER_02Yep.
SPEAKER_04And that if they see me doing something, then they're gonna want to do it as well. So like of course, I'm like, some things that I do, hey, don't don't do this. Don't do this. You just do it. I'm gonna do it. You don't do it. You stay over there. Uh do you tell in particular Jude?
SPEAKER_01Because he's Jude's.
SPEAKER_03Do you? Yeah, him too. We lived together in college. Yes, we've had multiple conversations. Do I dare ask you what you told me? No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
SPEAKER_04You sure don't. But it's it's okay. It's okay.
SPEAKER_05It's good.
SPEAKER_04It's just okay, you know. The the Lord gives us grace. Okay, all right, perfect. Perfect. Okay.
SPEAKER_01So basically the the responsibility of knowing they're watching you.
SPEAKER_04100%. Did you feel a lot of pressure for that? You know what I'm saying? No. No. I wouldn't say I felt pressure. I would just be like, that's why I told y'all, like, yo, this is I'm doing this. Doesn't mean you need to do it. Right. Even though I know I shouldn't be doing it. Yeah. But I'm telling you, don't do it because, like, yo, I'm I feel like I'm stuck right here. And I don't want you to be stuck like I'm stuck. I don't want you to feel like I'm feeling. So don't do it. I'm showing you how I'm feeling. I'm showing you how my life is right now, and I'm showing you what I'm trying to do to get rid of said thing. So don't do it so you don't have to walk through the same path that I'm walking through. That's fair.
SPEAKER_01So one of the reasons why, you know, I mentioned earlier that we homeschooled you guys because we wanted to travel with you mostly. I was like, what a great privilege that they have to travel. We're taking them with us. One of the other reasons why we did it as soon as we did it was because you were struggling in school. That was one of the reasons. You were struggling in school. It wasn't that a problem, though. I remember going, you were in fourth grade. I remember going to, do you remember that we took you to get tested, make sure that you didn't have like dyslexia or something? Because it would struggle for you to read. You might know. Yeah, a couple times. So you had struggled.
SPEAKER_02Which you came by it honestly.
SPEAKER_01Your grandfather got ADD, your uncle has dyslexia. So I was kind of like, it could be that he's really struggling reading for reasons. We need to take him to get, you know, tested or whatever. But but I remember going to fourth grade, I went to your fourth grade class, and it was a game day or something. And I remembered this this was the day I went home and said, we're homeschooling starting now. It was the travel piece, but also that day they were playing a game. And I remember you were all standing in a line, they were asking a question, and when it when it was your turn, um you either you wrote well, you rose your hand to answer it quickly because you wanted to be the winner, but the answer you gave was clearly not right and you knew it wasn't right. You were saying a funny answer so that everybody would just laugh along with you. Because you would rather lack create a reason for everybody to laugh with you than have tried to give the right answer and and risk everybody laughing laughing at you.
SPEAKER_04That could be a summary.
SPEAKER_01But my point is, I went home and said to your dad, we're taking him out. Because what that means to me is his confidence has gotten to the point where he'd rather not risk uh potentially giving a wrong answer. He's out.
SPEAKER_04Golly, that's gonna be a worry right there.
SPEAKER_01And I wanted you to be in a place where your confidence could be built up.
SPEAKER_02Uh-huh.
SPEAKER_01Okay. So that was the the impetus for it in that moment. We were gonna do it anyway. But that was what was like, no, I gotta get my son out of here because the school system is gonna make him feel small because he doesn't learn the same way. You still could learn, you you learned everything, but you're you needed to be at a pace that worked for you. You were a uh kinetic, kinetic learner, whereas if I gave you coins and dollars, man, you could learn how to make change and count cash. But if somebody just wrote the letters up on a the numbers up on a board, you are gonna be like, I can't do the math proper. But if I just gave you cash, you could make change and do the math. So I knew you needed to be in a different environment. We gotta go back and go back to the back. Go back and then I'll ask you the question because I'm getting to a question about your that is a whole something.
SPEAKER_05I we can't just you can't just say that and then we not make a whole extract a whole point for people to get out of that. What's the point? The point is that we would rather be comfortable in community than fail separately or fail like outside of the the comfort of other people because like even like that's why we usually do the wrong thing. Like we'll do the wrong thing because everybody else is doing the wrong thing, and it's fun with everybody to do the wrong thing. But to be separated means that not only are you lonely, but if you fail lonely, now you feel like it's but like a double, it's a double boy, you know what I'm saying? So it's like we would rather do we would rather be in a comfortable climate of people community who are not doing the right thing than fail separately lonely. And it's like, well, no, that I think that's part of carrying the cross. You know what I mean? Like the loneliness is part of carrying the cross, the separation is part of carrying the cross, all the things are part of the carrying the cross. What are you laughing? You're saying I'm about to pick preacher. Is that what you're about to think? I knew you. I knew it in my head. I knew it.
SPEAKER_00All I can see is a post you made recently, and your your comment on his post is Rev or Rev.
SPEAKER_04I think Bishop Carlos or Reverend Jerry or something like that.
SPEAKER_00So all of a sudden I'm sitting here talking about his educational experience, and you went all the way in. I mean, Reverend Bishop Apostle did it.
SPEAKER_05All right, you know what? Let me go a little left a little bit.
SPEAKER_04And you next to OCBF? You next you next in line? OCBF? Absolutely not. And in your business, you have it down, Dac. I know, right? Mark it down. It's on camera. But camera you looking at that one?
SPEAKER_05Look, in your business, if you want to be an entrepreneur, you have to be okay with going the separate route instead of being comfortable with the community. Let's make it really practical so no spiritual stuff in it. Let's let's make it on point. You know what I'm saying? So in any area, whatever it is that makes it.
SPEAKER_01I was watching your confidence though begin to crumble in that, being willing to take the risk of saying your your answer, like a real answer. You were just kind of this is too dramatic, but you wanted to be a c class clown because it was more comfortable to play around and make everybody laugh with you. And I was like, no, we got to get him out of here. So my question to you is because school's always been a struggle for you. Yep.
SPEAKER_04You didn't like school, don't like school, you're not trying to get it. You at school have been beefing.
SPEAKER_01And there are a lot of people like that. The school district, the system doesn't work for them. And they're either counted out because of it or marked with you know a label, or hopefully they have people around them that love them enough to go, actually, you might just need to be in a different learning environment, and that's cool. Um, but how did that feel for you in the moment? Did you feel even at home? Even at home, um, everybody learned differently. All three of y'all learned differently. So you're still you were at co-ops, y'all were around people who still you were part of a group. So the question is that was a big struggle for you all throughout your your upbringing. Did that affect you um with your self-esteem, security? Or was it something you were like, no big deal? We kind of talked about with Uncle John John about this too. Um, how did that affect your sense of self-esteem that you were struggling with school?
SPEAKER_04It really got to a point. Oh, I ain't never liked school.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_04So I didn't really care about not struggle like struggling in school. Like that wasn't necessarily like a big thing for me. I'm just like, I'm just trying to get a 2.3 GPA so I can go play in college. That's all I cared about.
SPEAKER_02Uh-huh.
SPEAKER_04Um, but as far as it affecting my self-esteem, it's hard for me to remember all the way back to fourth grade to say exactly how I felt.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_04But I remember going to Grace Prep and going to Martin and um just having to take on the mindset of I am who I am and I don't care how you feel about it. Because I'm like, look, like I'm just I'm gonna be me. And if you don't wanna be me, you don't want to rock with me, I don't I don't care. I I genuinely do not care.
SPEAKER_01Did you feel the need though to work harder to compensate for that? Or did you feel like I don't care and I'm not even gonna try because it's hard? Or did it inspire you to work harder so that you could get the GPA and you could work through the like what did it do to you make you go, I'm not doing it, or not?
SPEAKER_04The 2.30 wasn't hard to get. I wouldn't do that.
SPEAKER_01So you didn't challenge yourself to do the best you could do.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, no, I did not challenge myself. Like in the classroom, no, no, I do not know.
SPEAKER_05And you know what's crazy is I don't even I I I can't say that me in high school really trying really did anything for me either. So on the opposite scale of that, I was like the one that was like, Oh, I need to get all A's, and then I was like, and I look back now and I'm like, that I wasted all my energy in something that could have been way more than that. I don't know nobody. I mean, there's people, of course, like doctors and nurses or lawyers that use it a great.
SPEAKER_03Of course, for the majority, who the heck uses science or math? Like, what about why why am I gonna just sit here and give all of my energy to learning why y equals MX plus B?
SPEAKER_04I don't care if you ain't using that. I'm not using that.
SPEAKER_01To me, it was it wasn't about the grade, it was a character issue that I think it's your one of y'all's coaches that say the way you do one thing is the way you do everything. Whether you believe that to be true or not, the point was I wanted you to strive for excellence in anything you are tasked to do. No, not because of the grade. I wanted you to have the kind of character that said, and I still want y'all, again, I'm not it's not about grades, but I wanted the hard things, things that were hard for y'all. I didn't want to make you go, oh, forget it. I don't care about it. I wanted you to go, no, well, this is what the Lord gave me to do. So I need to do it to the best of my ability, whether that's a C level, B level, A level. It didn't matter. So the grade didn't matter to me. You're exactly right. Whether you would use science and math in your life, I don't use science and math in my life. I never made A's in in science or math. So it's not like that. It was more just it's what you have to do though. God's given it you you to do it. And I was hoping you'd learn the lesson that whatever you do, you do heartily is unto the Lord.
SPEAKER_04No, for sure. And I can definitely agree with you to the point of how you do one thing is how you do all things, which is why when I got to college, like, of course, I I didn't necessarily, I wouldn't say I tried, but I tried harder because I was like, hey, you know, if I'm gonna give my all in football to try to be the best player that I can possibly be, like I have to get this done. I have to get this done. You do. Like I have to get this done. So I just scheduled out like a hour, two hours a day so I could just sit down and get the things that I need to done so I could do the things that I wanted to do. So um I can definitely uh agree with you on that point. But it took me a while to realize that. Like in high school, I didn't know. You couldn't convince me to write a no. But when I got to college, it was it was different because you know, when you have a whole bunch of dudes, a hundred dudes striving towards the same thing with one goal in their mind. Football, yeah. Football in the mind, you know, trying to win championships, trying to go undefeated. You know, we all have one goal and we're all trying to hit the same goal. So we all have to be unified.
SPEAKER_05Yeah. Question. So then does community really help you stay, I guess, even motivated, for lack of better words, but yeah, motivated or inspired or help you actually tangibly do things that you don't want to do. You know what I'm saying? 100%.
SPEAKER_04I know you heard the the saying, show me your group of friends, I'll show you who you become. Like if you continue to hang around community who's gonna lead you away from what the spirit's calling you to do, from what necessarily you're working for, for where you're trying to take yourself in life, you're you're gonna be right there with them. But if you feel yourself a community with people who are uplifting, who are gonna continue to strive for the kingdom, who are gonna continue to put themselves in situations to be the best person that they can be, you're gonna do the same. Thing for yourself because that's all you're seeing within your community, within your family, within your community, even if it's not in your family. If you fill yourself up with community like that and bring it back to your family, who's to say that can't change something in their heart and their spirit? Yeah.
SPEAKER_01So now, because you still you still would say, because you and I talk about it, you're like, I'm not trying to read no actual books. Like, I don't I don't want to read it. Not interested. No, now audiobooks, you you potentially.
SPEAKER_04I try, but it's just so boring. I mean it's so boring. Yes. I'm just listening, I'm just my head starting to hurt. I'm like, oh my God.
SPEAKER_01Okay. But you know, you what you do know, and you've admitted this reading is necessary for learning. Okay. So then what do you say to yourself now at 23 years old? Because they're a whole bunch of adults. They have no interest in reading, but they know that it's good for them. It's like someone who wants to be healthy, which I was going to talk to you about fitness too, because that's your jam. Fitness is your your passion. So it's the same principle of I know I have to consume certain things to keep my body healthy and to make sure my body, my eating is in alignment with my workout goals. Like otherwise, you're working out but not eating right, it's canceling each other out. So as you grow as a man and you're in your 20s now and you still don't like the way this reading tastes, but you know you have to eat right to keep your mental acumen growing. How are you reconciling that at this stage in your life where it's your mom's not giving you books? You kind of got to decide, although I'd be trying to give you books still. But what do you do with that now? This the fact that you're like, I don't, I still don't want to read, but I know I need to for my health.
SPEAKER_04You gotta say, screw it. And just like, you don't want to go to work every day. You don't want to do a lot of things every day. You don't want to wash the dishes every day, you don't want to cook every day. But at the end of the day, are you supposed to wash dishes every day? Or look, I don't know. I don't do that. I don't do that every day. I don't wash dishes every day.
SPEAKER_01I was about to say what's the thing. I don't wash dishes every day.
SPEAKER_04I'm just using that as an example.
SPEAKER_01So are you saying to me that you are going to be trying to?
SPEAKER_04We just we just going all the way off the topic right now. I done lost my train of thought. Are you choosing to read? I done lost my train of thought. I'm sorry, go ahead.
SPEAKER_01Can you repeat the question? The question is how are you reconciling the fact that you don't want to read with the fact that at this phase in your life you're realizing it's a it's kind of a necessity to becoming the person you want to do.
SPEAKER_05You need to wash dishes, you need to do things.
SPEAKER_04Oh, yeah, I'm just saying you gotta say screw it because you don't want to do a lot of things in your daily life. Right. But at the end of the day, when you have responsibilities, you have to do it. So when it comes to reading or working out or eating healthy, you have a goal and you want to meet that goal, you have to do it. Jesus didn't want to die on the cross. The only reason he died on the cross is because the father said to do it.
SPEAKER_05So he was right, right, preacher.
SPEAKER_04No, no, no. That is you. You it's just a sense of obedience in a sense of, yo, this is where I'm trying to go. This is where I have to do to get there. So I gotta do it.
SPEAKER_01So you are gonna read books.
SPEAKER_00That's what that's the moral of the story I just got. All that.
SPEAKER_05So you're gonna read books.
SPEAKER_03No, no, no. He said all that, and now you're gonna read then. I I I who said I don't read.
SPEAKER_04Do you? I read a little bit. I read the Bible. But I mean books for education for I'm in a connect group reading a book right now.
SPEAKER_01What are y'all reading?
SPEAKER_04It's something about I forgot what it's called. I'm reading it down. I'm reading it. I'm reading it, though. I'm reading it though, and it's really good.
SPEAKER_01It's really good. Okay. Oh, it's for several more questions. You get you okay? Yeah, okay. Yeah. You set a connect group, so that leads to one of my questions. You go to a church called Shoreline City Church. Shoreline City is an incredible church. Shout out to Earl and Onika McClellan.
SPEAKER_04Great people, great people.
SPEAKER_01Great people, great pastors. They are building a healthy, wonderful church that is built around community. That's one of the most beautiful things about Shoreline.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, for sure. Yeah, isn't it fantastic? Oh, that's crazy.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, how they have all these connect groups and discipleship groups and communities and friendships. That's one of the things that really drew you in. So if someone is in their early 20s and really they are because your your situation is unique. You grew up at one church your entire life, went to college, then you came back and you kind of had to find your own way. So, what do you say in terms of church? So, what do you say for somebody who they really are trying to figure out where they fit in a church family? Um, what are some of the things that made you know that for this season, Shoreline is your place? What are you getting and what are you giving?
SPEAKER_04All right. Well, I'm a I I'm gonna I'm gonna start off by saying, well, I feel like Shoreline was my place. Okay. And this is me very being very open and honest. So I don't know what you like to say. I know I'm nervous. I know, right? But you know what? Oh well. Um, so when I first moved back, um, you know, Chris, he told me, he was like, yo, I've been going to Shoreline, pull up. I'm like, I was thinking about it, because I remember you speaking at Shoreline multiple times growing up. And I never liked it.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_04I don't know why.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_04But I just I just remember never liking it. So I was like, all right, cool, I'll pull up. I'm smoking on the way to church. I'm I'm I'm I'm in a hot box on the way to church. Like windows up, rolled up. As soon as I walk in church, you know, I smell like gas. Like I'm at box.
SPEAKER_05Smelling like we going in church is crazy.
SPEAKER_04But church is a hospital, brother. You feel me? Like church ain't for the people, but church is I feel like church is a big thing.
SPEAKER_05That's like that's like that's like hurting yourself if they go to the hospital and saying, hurt yourself still wasn't crazy.
SPEAKER_04Let me let me finish my statement. Let me finish my story.
SPEAKER_05My bad, my bad.
SPEAKER_04So I I walk in church. I'm trying to find the back, the balcony, top. This is a building that I haven't been in before. I'm trying to find the top balcony. I'm trying to figure out how to get there. But I walked in. The first person I saw was Pastor Onika. And I I reintroduced myself to her. And she was like, Jackson, it's so good to see you again. Your family, come and sit with us. I went up to the front of the church. Mind you, nobody made me feel ashamed. Nobody made me feel out of place. Nobody made me feel any type of way. In fact, people will come up to me and be like, hey, yo, this is my name. We have a connect group. Come pull up. Yo, yo, yo, bro, how long you been going to church here? How long you moved back? Like, when did you move back? Whatever the case may be. They made me feel at home. And Pastor Earl, he gave me his number and he was like, Jackson, anytime you want to place here in church, anytime you want to come to church, I got a spot right here next to me for you. SO SL5. So that's so far. The next Sunday, I texted him like 30 minutes right before service started. We live 45 minutes from church. Yeah. I texted him 30, 30 minutes before service started. I was like, yo, like, you got a seat for me? He's like, yeah, pull up. For the first forever, I'm pulling up late. You know what I'm saying?
SPEAKER_01Not invested.
SPEAKER_04Not really invested sitting with Pastor Earl, Pastor Onika, um, as they're getting me connected in the church. But eventually, like, that just changed my entire my life, literally. Their diligence and their obedience in that situation, um, whatever the Holy Spirit told them to do, changed the course of my entire life.
SPEAKER_01Wow. And so you felt this come as you are.
SPEAKER_04Yes, 100%. Come as well. 100%.
SPEAKER_01And that's why we're not gonna let you stay as you are, but come as you are.
SPEAKER_04Exactly, exactly. And that's why I say church is a hospital. And go back to your point where you're like, yo, don't hurt yourself before going to the hospital. Yeah. Whatever's going to be. Yeah, 100%. I get what you're saying. But at the end of the day, I wouldn't say I hurt myself before going to the hospital. I was already hurting. Yeah.
SPEAKER_05So it doesn't. You know, and I I think that honestly, a lot of churches kind of need that because I feel like a lot of churches, if someone comes in, and I I even think it's Christians in general. I won't even put it on the church. It's Christians, I guess we are the church. You know what I'm saying? Um, whenever someone is is is not is doing stuff that is outside of the boundaries that God has called for, we automatically get to judging. Like automatically. And so we're like, oh, they do this, uh-uh. Like, you get away. Like, you know what I'm saying? Like, this is uh us us really spiritual Christians gonna be over here and y'all gonna be over there. And it's just like, well, it reminds me of the verse, take the the the the uh your own eye before you look at the splinter in theirs or however the order of the verse is. And it's like I I even think as Christians, like, you know, it's like we need to really accept everybody, regardless of what stage they're in or where they're at in their walk, because that changes the course. You can't expect them to not be around you but want them to change still, like it just doesn't like I mean the Holy Spirit can do it, but like you are the cultivators. That's what we're called to do as a church. So, anyways, that's great. I think a lot of Christians in general need to know that. No, for sure. 100%.
SPEAKER_01So, one of the things you would say then is that that folks your age that are re-incorporating themselves, reintegrating back into home life after college or whatever, they need to look for a place where whatever they're struggling with coming back home, they can find a place where they feel welcome as they are.
SPEAKER_04100% to come in and still be a part. Because if I didn't feel welcome as I was in that season, I would not be a shoreline. I don't even know if I will really be in church if I'm being honest with you. Yeah, okay.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_04So, like, like literally the obedience and the diligence that the pastors show throughout their daily walk, like they're the same. They are every day. Incredible, every day. The diligence and the faithfulness that they walk with literally has changed the course of my life personally, and I've seen many other lives changed within the church just because of who they are.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, and they have integrity, like you said, they're the same, they're the same, they're not acting a different way outside of church and all that.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, same people.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, that's so great. Yeah, I love that about them and about their church. I'm forever grateful to them for that. One of the questions that I get asked about both of you, um, and your brother, all three of you, is about girls. They want to know if any of you have ever had a serious girlfriend. To which I respond, no, none of my boys have ever had a for real. Not a he he was like 13, like this little girl at school. That I'm talking about where y'all are dating someone, you're in a long-term, bring this person home to meet your parents. This is my girlfriend. None of y'all have really ever had that.
SPEAKER_02Okay.
SPEAKER_01So I'm not saying you haven't had little people you like along the way. I'm talking about in a relationship. You have not had that. So I guess I'm kind of asking both of you what are the main reasons why you feel like at this point you're you have either chosen to or you haven't met the right person, or what is the reason why I just feel like I just have a certain standard you have to uphold for me to even think about bringing you back into my family.
SPEAKER_04You know what I'm saying? Because my family, um we're we're a very influential family. So if I'm like, yo, if I figure out you're in your life or in my life because of what you think I can give you or what you think I can provide for you, and you don't really necessarily want me for me, but you're trying to just, oh, I want to meet Priscilla Scheyer, oh, I want to meet Tony Evans, oh, whatever the case may be, dead. Do you feel like you've you've run into that? A couple times, yeah, yeah, a couple times, but it's also like just about who the person was, too. Like, of course I've you know had situationships with whatever the case may be. I like people, but it's like who they were and where I'm trying to go in the season of life I was in. It wasn't good, it wouldn't have been good if I would have brought that. It wasn't a matchup, it wasn't a matchup, and going back to yo, like they want to meet Priscilla or Tony or Anthony Evans or Jonathan Evans.
SPEAKER_01You can just smell that a mile away.
SPEAKER_04100%. Yeah, I've had two since I was forever, my whole life. So yeah, 100%. 100%.
SPEAKER_01What about you? Why do you feel like at this point, 21 years old, you really haven't had a serious relationship?
SPEAKER_00Honestly.
SPEAKER_01Just so y'all are clear, I'm not mad. Just so y'all know I'm not mad at it. Right. I'm actually glad that y'all have kind of taken your time and not had like a bunch of serious relationships. But what is your reason for that?
SPEAKER_05Uh honestly there's a lot. But the the main reason kind of just comes down to like most of my life I wasn't looking for a girlfriend. Like, I was always committed to to something else that was.
SPEAKER_01Just like sports or whatever.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, where my most of my life was basketball. And then um, so I was like, ah, girlfriend gonna take away from that, I feel like. So it's just like I'm focused on basketball. So I just focused on basketball for the most part. There wasn't a a girl that was important enough to to change that, or to be like, okay, I'm gonna be committed to basketball, but she's still gonna be over that. So I was like, just never worked out like that. And then when basketball started becoming less of a priority in my mind, as far as like in terms of relationship-wise, then I started being committed to other things. So I was like, like like like building my business or this podcast or just other stuff that I was really, really focused a lot of my time and energy and effort on. I was like, I feel like I would need to spend that time, energy, and effort on my woman to have a healthy relationship. Yeah. So I'm probably just now getting to the point where I'm like, actually, no, I've I've been in a relationship and I'm good. So happened, but yeah, it just it never really just sit circumstances and situations and how it played out just never really worked out like that.
SPEAKER_01We've kind of had this joke during their upbringing that basically do you want to spend money on her? Because if you don't like her enough to spend money on her, that means she shouldn't be your girlfriend.
SPEAKER_02Because that means you don't like her enough. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_01So neither one of you have met somebody yet that you like them enough that you're willing to like lessen some of your focus on your goals or something like that. Yeah, no, yeah, no, no, no, no.
SPEAKER_04And you you I feel like I have, but it's just our no.
SPEAKER_01We weren't on the right track together. You weren't in alignment.
SPEAKER_05Correct. Uh yeah, something like that. Just never gone through all the stages and just got there. You know, there's like three stages you gotta get to, oh, I like her enough tool. But then we gotta align on some other thing. You know, just a whole bunch of things.
SPEAKER_01Well, you know, I hope you guys both take your time and like you said, meet someone who's aligned with where you want to go in your life. They're sweet. I hope you marry somebody that's sweet that is not high maintenance. Yeah, ideal mainly.
SPEAKER_04No, I'm super low maintenance. So if you high maintenance, that ain't gonna work.
SPEAKER_01Well, I I don't even mean high maintenance, though, like in her appearance. I hope she's high maintenance. No, for sure.
SPEAKER_04No, no, no, for sure. I'm just talking about all that. I know what you're talking about.
SPEAKER_01I want her to be content with what you can provide for her, and whatever you provide for her, she loves it. She thinks it's amazing. The little house y'all live in on the little piece of land y'all live on, the little car, whatever you can afford, she's you don't constantly feel like you have to work hard to manage her because she's never happy enough.
SPEAKER_04I bet believe my wife's gonna be bad boy.
SPEAKER_01Oh bad.
SPEAKER_04Bad. Is that my camera? That's my camera.
SPEAKER_01What is happening?
SPEAKER_03Don't cut that.
SPEAKER_01So you want to marry someone just like your mother, I'm sure.
SPEAKER_03You're a beautiful lady.
SPEAKER_01Okay, last question. Since the two of you are well, I'm gonna ask you this question about each other, and then I'm gonna ask both of you this question about Jude. Okay, because he'll watch this one day. First of all, about your brother, Jackson. What do you m admire most about JC? What drives you the most nuts about JC? This is horrible. This is horrible.
SPEAKER_05We end it right here.
SPEAKER_01This is a question I would ask them around the dinner table that they would not want to answer, and I'm making them answer it on the podcast. Jackson, what do you admire most about your brother?
SPEAKER_05Oh, I hate this.
SPEAKER_01I don't care. Do what I say. I'm your mother. What do you admire most about your brother? Well, start with what drives you the most nuts.
SPEAKER_04What drives me the most nuts?
SPEAKER_01Yeah. About your brother.
SPEAKER_04You think he's always right. He think he always drives. No, you, you, you, I do think I'm always right.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, I know you think you're my aunt.
SPEAKER_04No, bro. No. No.
SPEAKER_01What do you admire most about your brother?
SPEAKER_04His diligence.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, he's very diligent. Very, very diligent, bro.
SPEAKER_04You work hard to whatever you want to get toward, bro. You don't let nothing stop you, and you just keep going, bro. That's true.
SPEAKER_01He has a lot of tenacity. That's true. What drives you most most nuts about Jackson Shane? What?
SPEAKER_05Oh my. Uh what drives you most nuts? Um I th I would say I think you're capable of more than you think. I think like you know that you can do whatever, but like I think you don't really know how much you can do. You know what I'm saying? In regards to what?
SPEAKER_01Life, just like any area in life.
SPEAKER_05Like it could be it could it could be whatever. Like, I just think you dwindle down your capacity just a little bit, like in your mind. For whatever reason. It could be because school, you never, I don't know what whatever. But I feel like you have the capacity to do a lot and you don't recognize it.
SPEAKER_01Mm-hmm. Or he'll kind of talk himself out of it. Yeah, or talk yourself out of it. As opposed to just doing it. Just doing it. Yeah.
SPEAKER_04No doubt. Yeah. Something like jumping out of a plane that still works. No, not that.
SPEAKER_01Setting a goal and knowing you can achieve it, whatever it is. Yeah.
SPEAKER_05Okay. Um that. And then what do you admire most?
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_05I would probably say your authenticity to be you, regardless. You're like, bro, I don't really care what nobody else thinks. It can be the even the ratchet stuff. Like I'm gonna be ratchet. I don't care what nothing I think. I'm gonna say it. So I like I respect that because sometimes it can be easy to want to put on a show up front. And so you're like, nah, I don't care about none of that. So I definitely respect that for some respect.
SPEAKER_01Even what you shared a few minutes ago. I was sitting here thinking there are probably gonna be a lot of people that see that and they're like, this is a shyer kid. Like if we said anything to them about our real struggles, they were like, But you're Tony and Lois Evans. You know, it's just this whole shock. But then I knew that there were people my age who would come talk to me about something because they were like, Oh my gosh, I had no idea that you felt this way, or there were you had this insecurity, or you did this, or whatever. So I just think about the people who are your age or whatever that might watch that and go, Oh, I need to send him a DM real quick. Cause uh actually, you know what I'm saying? Um it's actually really cool that you were willing to be brave enough to share that.
SPEAKER_05For sure. Yeah, that was good, bro. Seriously.
SPEAKER_01But anyway, Jackson, for being here for real.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, yeah, that was great.
SPEAKER_01My oldest boy.
SPEAKER_04I'm one of my grills next time. No, you're not. Yeah, no. We're gonna see what they say. If they say I should come with the grills, who is they?
SPEAKER_01You mean the audience watching right now?
SPEAKER_04Yeah, for sure. If they like, yo, Jack, come back with the grills, yeah. Come back with the grills. Okay, you come back with the grills. All right, well, this is your last time on the podcast.
SPEAKER_05All right, y'all. Have a good one. Peace.