Being Faithful in Seasons of Transition

In this episode of Full Fledged, Priscilla and JC talk about what it looks like to stay faithful in seasons of transition. Whether you’re stepping into something new, walking away from what’s familiar, or stuck in the tension of the in-between, they unpack how these seasons can stretch you in ways you didn’t expect.

Through personal stories, honest reflection, and biblical truth, they talk about the challenges that come with uncertainty, feeling overlooked, questioning your direction, or wanting clarity that just isn’t there yet. But instead of rushing the process or resisting the discomfort, they challenge listeners to see transition as a season of preparation, not punishment.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

We want God's resources, not his rules.

SPEAKER_02 0:02

We want God's resources, don't we? We sure do. We do. We sure do. We don't want to actually honor him. We just want him to give us stuff.

SPEAKER_00 0:09

We want to like say we love him, but not really trust him, so that hopefully our love is good enough to get his blessings, but the trust is not bad enough to not get it, and we don't have to follow all the things that he tells us to do.

SPEAKER_02 0:28

Hello, everybody.

SPEAKER_00 0:29

What's going on to everybody out there? All the people. Hope y'all are great. Life's good. You know what I mean? Like, yes. Yeah, something like that.

SPEAKER_02 0:35

What is happening? Why are you talking like that?

SPEAKER_00 0:38

What did I do?

SPEAKER_02 0:44

You sound why are you grunting? Why are we not welcoming the people with gladness?

SPEAKER_00 0:49

I just enter into his courts with praise. I feel like something happened. What? Did you just try to bring the Bible on my tone of voice? I'm just saying, you you were a little like what's up to the people out there, man. I hope y'all are doing good. Hope y'all are great, man. Wow. Life's good.

SPEAKER_02 1:05

Welcome to Full Fledge, the Holmy podcast, where we sit on my parents' couch, his grandparents' couch, and have conversations, mother to son. We welcome you with exuberance and gladness that you would take time on your regular weekday to be here in conversation with us. We're so glad that you're here.

SPEAKER_00 1:25

Yeah, it's phenomenal. We don't we don't take it lightly. Like I'm not even saying this as in a welcome or gladness thing. But no, for real. We appreciate you. Seriously. We probably don't say it enough. We need to start saying it more often that we appreciate the because it's like it's a big they gave us our their time. You can't get the time back. You know what I'm saying? So that's exactly right. I appreciate y'all.

SPEAKER_02 1:44

Yeah, and to just join us in conversation because we're certainly not having these conversations as experts on anything. We're literally just having mother and son conversations and hoping that they stir conversation between you, your friends, you and the young people that are in your lives. So yeah, we're glad you're here. We always start with an opening song. It's not even a song, it's really just a rhythm. You ready, babe?

SPEAKER_00 2:09

Yeah, I'm ready.

SPEAKER_02 2:10

Let's go. I'm gonna be monotone though. Hey, hey, hey, come on, put some, put move a little bit though. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, mm-mm, mm-mm. I can already tell that we're a little silly today. That's great. It's gonna make for a good conversation. What are we talking about today, JC?

SPEAKER_00 2:35

Okay, so I might as well just sit back, relax, and tell y'all what's going on in my life at this point.

SPEAKER_02 2:39

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 2:40

Um, I feel like everybody's close enough now.

SPEAKER_02 2:42

Because it's the basis of our conversation.

SPEAKER_00 2:44

Yeah, it is. So I've been in college for the last four years. Um at Liberty University.

SPEAKER_02 2:51

Uh-huh. And what just happened?

SPEAKER_00 2:53

Well, I'm back now. I've not necessarily officially graduated per se, but like I'm back home for good. So that's exciting. That's fun.

SPEAKER_02 3:05

So I do I do want to clarify before you move on what he means by haven't officially graduated yet is that at the time of this recording, it is not May yet. So the ceremony hasn't happened. But he finished his classwork in December 2025. And then because he's on the basketball team, he had to wait for basketball season to be over to be able to kind of be done. This classwork's been done though. Basically, yeah. Basketball season ended. He said, Mom, dad, I'm coming home. I'm not waiting until May. I'm not just gonna sit around up here until May. I'm coming home, I'm done. So my boy, as of pretty much yesterday.

SPEAKER_00 3:38

Yeah, yesterday, pretty much.

SPEAKER_02 3:41

Packed up. Well, he packed up before he packed up about a week ago. Yeah, just started sending stuff home. Right. We have boxes of his stuff moving back in, and now he has moved back in. Welcome home, son. Hold my hand, like grasp it back. Like that's weird. No, it's weird. No, it's weird.

SPEAKER_00 4:00

No, it's weird.

SPEAKER_02 4:02

This is a big deal. You have basically graduated from college. Basically, and um I'm happy.

SPEAKER_00 4:09

So you are transitioning. I I am transitioning. I'm well, let me just say this first. I'm happy because as a division one basketball player, probably in a lot of divisions, you don't get a lot of free time.

SPEAKER_02 4:22

It is like a full-time job if you're an athlete, a student athlete, as many of you know.

SPEAKER_00 4:27

So, like, I mean, I mean, it's wake up, lift, eat, class, then practice, then home, then dinner, then sleep. Like, that's kind of homework than sleep. But that's kind of the regimen. Don't come home for holidays really that much. Because basketball season runs through all the major holidays. It's horrible. It runs through Thanksgiving, it runs through Hollow Be Thy Name, it runs through Christmas. We get like a few days for Christmas, like three or four, but yeah, it's not a lot. And then it runs through New Year's, and then it runs through spring break. So, like it through spring break. Yeah. So it's just like, what are we doing? So, anyways, so after I left for college, which was a week from this recording, um, I went to Nashville, and the main reason was just because I could say, Who can tell me no? Except your mother could they were like, Enjoy your life. But no one could tell me I had practice, I had to work, I had to lift, like I had film, like no one could tell me I can't go travel because I love traveling. So I was like, you know what? I'm gonna do it. So I traveled to Nashville. Then I saw Uncle Nene there, Uncle Anthony, my mom's brother, and I was and he was like, I'm going to LA. I said, Can I go with you? Well, me too. So I was like, no one could tell me no. So I God and my parents, but no one else could tell me no. So I went to LA and was just there for a few days, and now I came back yesterday to this recording. And yeah, I'm just living life.

SPEAKER_02 5:48

But yeah, for the first time in four years, you have some margin where you actually have can make your own decisions about your time.

SPEAKER_00 5:55

Yeah. And you feel amazing, liberated. Liberated, liberated is the right word. But in I got home, and I've been thinking about this for a little bit, probably for the last two months, reflecting like, oh no, season's about to be over, which means like I'm about to move from Lynchburg, where I've been for four years, back to Dallas, where my family's here, but I don't have that many friends here. Um, like people that I'm super close to. I don't really know much about the city.

SPEAKER_02 6:21

I mean, I've been back here and there, but like it's different being a kid growing up in a city and then coming back as an adult and forming your own friendships, your own community, and your own rhythm with the city.

SPEAKER_00 6:32

Yeah, it's different. And so there's just so many different things that I did like about Lynchburg and I didn't like about Lynchburg, which is where Liberty University was. And then there's things I love about Dallas, and that I'm scared about Dallas because I don't know, I don't know people. So, like, there's this whole transition, big transition thing happening that has made me have to reflect and trust God and all the things. And I think that it not only applies to bigger transitions of life, but also micro transitions in life. It could be something super simple.

SPEAKER_01 6:59

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 7:00

And so I'm just like, let's just talk about transitions and how that works and how much trust it takes in all the things.

SPEAKER_02 7:05

Yeah. And I will layer on to that from my vantage point, because I'm interested to hear all your thoughts that the Lord has been teaching about transitions. But the reality is I'm in a completely different season of life he's in, and yet it is still a transition. I don't know that there are ever seasons of life where you are not in some way transitioning. Because I am um, there's one high school student that we have left in our home, Jude 17. He'll be a senior next year. My whole goal over the past two months, as you know, has been basically taking him to colleges and universities to see the ones that he's interested in. Because here in the next year, your younger brother will be going off to school. So technically we'll be empty nest. But these people, these people keep coming back home. So I got the oldest one has been back home for a year and a half from college. Now you're back home, and he has made it very clear to us he will be at home for quite some time so he can get his bearings.

SPEAKER_00 7:58

A thousand percent.

SPEAKER_02 7:58

Yeah, because because rent on these apartments is expensive, it's outrageous. Yeah, it's I think you're very wise, saving some money. Um, so the point is it's transitioning that it's empty nest-ish, but it's not. Everybody's coming back home. These people still like to eat and not do dishes. That ain't having it. So just trying to figure out now how do you parent adult kids, like it's a different season of life for me, too. Um, I'm a little off task, but I was watching an Instagram video recently, and it was capturing all of these moments in different families' lives where a daughter or son had just had a baby, the parents are coming into the hospital room of the the parents of the parents are coming into the hospital room. They're meeting their grandkids for the first time. Oh my gosh, it's so overwhelming, maybe from the the perspective I have. Right. But the point is everybody's always thinking about the transition that's happening with the parents. But here are these grandparents who, for the first time, they're becoming grandparents. And I thought it's this cool, interesting reality that transition is happening all the time, no matter what age and stage you are, there are moments to be captured.

SPEAKER_00 9:10

Oh, a thousand percent. A thousand percent. Yeah, it's a it's it's a principle and uh I think a reality that, like you said, happens in every stage of life. That if you have the proper tools, it can help you, you know, navigate it wisely when it can go unwisely.

SPEAKER_02 9:23

So tell us some of the things you've been grappling with, some of the tools that you've garnered along this process. What's the Lord been teaching you about transitioning well?

SPEAKER_00 9:31

Mm-hmm. Well, see, uh, I don't know if I have any tools. Maybe I do when I start talking. I'll be like, oh God, it has been reframing my mindset, but that's why I'm here to talk to you. So you can help me get tools so I can fix life. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_02 9:45

Yeah, right.

SPEAKER_00 9:47

But one of the things someone asked me the other day, like, what are you well? I guess let me start, let me back up. Let me tell people about my personality type just a little bit. I like doing stuff. Busy, busybody, yeah. I'm a busybody. I like to do things a lot. Like, if there's something to do, I'm gonna do it. I love going out with friends to rooftops and just having fun, enjoying the weather. I like going on walks downtown and trails and going to coffee shops in the morning and and working and creating things. And like, I just love to be stacked up, right? That's my personality. I love that. Um, in Lynchburg, one of the reasons why, one of the parts that was hard for me being in Lynchburg was that it was nothing to do out there like that.

SPEAKER_02 10:29

Like just it's like Liberty University. It's a cute little town, but there's not really once you've looked at it once or twice, this you saw the whole thing.

SPEAKER_00 10:40

Once you've walked three blocks to the left and down, you that's it. Like that that that's this that's the devil.

SPEAKER_02 10:46

There's some nice restaurants now, whatever, but it's just a small town that you can master in a week and a half.

SPEAKER_00 10:51

It's not a lot of variety per se.

SPEAKER_01 10:53

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_00 10:54

So, um, yeah. So, but one of the things someone asked me, what are you gonna miss about Lynch? I can't remember who it was. I was like, good question. So I thought about it a little bit, and I was like, you know, about two years ago, God started like putting me in these seasons. Isolation's not the right word, because that sounds sad and lonely, but it was a little isolated, and sometimes it was sad and lonely. So like it was um, like I it would be like there's nothing to do. Like God, I feel like would purposefully be like there's nothing to do. All my friends had jobs, so they were working. Um, and then and if I wasn't at practice, like I was just sitting in my house, just like I guess let me turn on TV. I don't even like watching TV. Turn on TV show. Okay, um, I don't know what to do. Like, this is this is boring. So I it it made me and forced me to like be okay with being by myself because I don't people person.

SPEAKER_02 11:56

That's called solitude. That's called solitude.

SPEAKER_00 11:59

Yeah, I don't like solitude, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 12:01

But you've come to appreciate it.

SPEAKER_00 12:03

I've come to appreciate it a lot because that's the thing that I told him I was gonna miss.

SPEAKER_02 12:06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 12:07

I said, I think because in Dallas, there's always something to do.

SPEAKER_02 12:10

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_00 12:11

You can always do something. So I know for me, I usually, if there's something to do, I'm gonna choose the something. But God, through those those two different blocks of time that I remember vividly in particular, to where it was like, you know what? Nope, I'm gonna just put you in this situation right here, and then I'm all you're gonna be do is have to be forced to focus on me. And it, I think it I know it was a training ground for where he was he's trying to place me and what things he's trying to do and all that stuff. But I I'm gonna miss that about Lynchburg. So even transitioning to Dallas, it is I have to remember what he taught me then and bring it over now. And I think that's a part, a hard part of transitioning is not. Not an important tool, by the way. Oh, it's a tool. That's a important tool that you're saying right now.

SPEAKER_02 13:03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 13:03

I have to be, I have to remember what he's taught me and bring it over into the transition. Because it's another thing I think transition can mean for us like old to new, completely different. Like just like, oh, I can live differently because that was just here. And you know, there are some things that are meant for here and meant for there, but then there are tools and practicalities and lessons that he's like, no, I I I told you here so that you could bring it over here. And if you don't bring it over here, now I'm gonna just have to teach you the same lesson over here. Totally. And then it's gonna be a whole thing. So that I guess is a thing. Yes, it transitions.

SPEAKER_02 13:38

He shaped in you an appreciation for something that otherwise you wouldn't have had an appreciation for, and um, you wouldn't have the discipline for. It takes discipline to make to make it so that solitude is no longer the same as loneliness.

SPEAKER_00 13:53

That that's huge. I I don't think I could articulate that, but that's exactly what I feel.

SPEAKER_02 13:57

So it's not I'm lonely and oh, I can't wait. Even though I'm looking forward to being social again or hanging out with people or being in a city where there's more stuff to do, I have learned, and and you did do this. I watched you use that solitude productively. Oh my gosh, you were consuming books.

SPEAKER_00 14:13

I love reading books now.

SPEAKER_02 14:15

You love reading books now. I could not have said that about this one right here before he left for college. Now, because you had time, you started reading some books. You started devouring um webinars on real estate, on economy, on you know, all these different things where you were learning things. You use the time productively. You became a journaler where you would actually write down things the Lord was saying to you. I'm like, who is this kid?

SPEAKER_01 14:42

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 14:43

So the Lord taught you some things in solitude you would not have learned if your life stayed at a busy pace the entire time. And now you're right, you have to bring those into the season. Yeah. So let me say this. One of the major habits of a lot of people, I don't won't say most people, just a lot of people, is we're always, whatever season we're in, we're always ready and rushing to get out of that season to get to the next one. And most of the time we don't realize till we get out of that season and get to the next one that the one we were in wasn't that bad.

SPEAKER_00 15:13

That's so good. But it's that we're already out of it. It's over. You know what I'm saying? That's so good.

SPEAKER_02 15:17

So if we're not in it and drink it up for what it is, even recognizing I don't like this part, I don't like this part, I'm kind of over this part. But Lord, would you please help my uh help me not to be blinded by dissatisfaction, but instead to let gratitude overreal overrule that part so that I can see the parts here that are supposed to teach me something, that are supposed to be refining me, that are good about this season. Um when you're single, you're like, oh my gosh, I can't wait till I get married. Then you get married and you realize there are restrictions and issues and problems that also come in marriage. Singleness had its own, but so does marriage. So then you get married and you're like, oh my gosh, I miss the freedom that I had when I was single, or that I could keep the thermostat where I wanted to keep the thermostat or do what I wanted to do with my money without touching base first, about our overarching goals and all that. You didn't relish that in singleness potentially. Then you get married, and everybody's like, When are you gonna have kids? So you're rushing to have kids, then you have kids. And the toll that it takes on your relationship that you didn't expect, on your energy that you didn't expect, and you're running around all the time, and your life wraps around the schedules of these little humans and you love it, but also it has its toll. It has its cost. So then you're like, I can't wait for them to go to college. Then they go to college. And if you haven't stewarded the previous season, you're right. The lessons you were supposed to get and all of that you miss. And then you get in the next season and you look back and go, I should have enjoyed that more. I should have taken advantage of whatever gifts were there more. I should have let that refine my character so that I could take this thing into the next season. Um, so I just want to say I think you're right. One of the tools for transitioning well is Lord, and sometimes I think we literally need to write down what did you teach me while I was here?

SPEAKER_00 16:59

That's hilarious. I was just about to say that. I was just about to say, I think I did this okay, but I think I wish I would do this better, not looking back. Is every time the Lord taught me something, like a lesson, I would have written it down. Like I think I remember a lot, but I should and I should write it down while I remember it.

SPEAKER_02 17:16

But yeah, I was about to say, while you're fresh out of school, like now is the beginning of this. Don't let the like don't let the next week go by without literally opening up, getting a piece of paper and writing it down. Yeah. We were cleaning out his room yesterday. It's gonna be a several day process, I can see. No, no, no. We're gonna be done today. You think we'll be done today? We're gonna be done today. Ryan gonna come over at the crib after this. His friend, who is his cousin, but also one of his closest friends, he's such a good guy. He was over at the house helping you unpack bags. He's so happy that you're back, he don't know what to do. And so y'all were just enjoying each other, um, unpacking bags. But the point is, he was opening drawers, you know, cleaning out clothes he doesn't wear anymore, that he's left at home and all that shoes. But you were opening your drawers, and there were some cards that you've gotten from friends when you were 16th birthday, 15th birthday. But also there was a piece of paper that you had, it was more like a questionnaire, but it was so that you could see where you were at that season of your life. I think it was in regards to dating. Um, who would you want to date? Why would you want to date this person? It was asking questions and you were pulling that out, going, look at this answer. Look at this answer. It was from when you were in high school. My point is the written record of that, you wouldn't have remembered that. You wouldn't remember what you thought at 15 about who you would date and not date. It's because you have a written record of it that you unearthed that you're just like, wow, look at how I've grown in that way. Look at how my perspective has changed in this way, look at how it's the same. I think that's why writing certain things down is so important. Because you're 21 now, when you're 30, you're not gonna remember what you was thinking at 21.

SPEAKER_00 18:47

Correct. I can barely remember what I wrapped in my wallet just now.

SPEAKER_02 18:50

This is do y'all also have one kid that if his head was not literally attached to his entire body, he would leave his whole head. Like, he wouldn't even know that his head wasn't attached to his body. He'd be like, Is my face not off?

SPEAKER_00 19:06

Right. I I know that I know we are close in the pod, but I mean, you gotta tell him I'm my business. Like all of it.

SPEAKER_02 19:12

All of it. You shouldn't have started a podcast if you didn't want your business in the streets.

SPEAKER_00 19:15

Yes, that's a good point.

SPEAKER_02 19:16

My point is, I do want to encourage you to write down the lessons you learned in Lynchburg. Ooh, the lessons I learned.

SPEAKER_00 19:23

Listen and learned in Lynchburg.

SPEAKER_02 19:25

Ooh, that's a book. Or the lessons learned at Liberty. Liberty University. Lessons from Liberty. Great school, by the way. Yeah, it is. Lessons from Liberty. But there were there are lessons you were supposed to get, and that's a tool to make sure you don't leave those lessons behind.

SPEAKER_00 19:36

A thousand percent.

SPEAKER_02 19:37

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 19:37

And so I definitely think that is a thought in my mind and a practical reader reiteration is there are lessons you're learning now for a transition that's either you're in or about to happen, or you're just out of, whatever it is. And those lessons are meant for you to steward them and to retain them and remember them for where you're going. Yeah. So remember them, write them down. That's the first thing that I think I need to.

SPEAKER_02 20:01

Can I give now an illustration for my life on that before you go to the next lesson? Of course. Of course. So I'm now coming into the season. I could tell you in many ways that I'm transitioning, but I'll stick with what I said earlier, which is now parenting adult kids. This is weird because they think they're grown. I am grown. You're grown-ish. I'm grown grown. No, no.

SPEAKER_00 20:25

I could do whatever I want. Whenever I want. Uh-uh.

SPEAKER_02 20:29

You hear this?

SPEAKER_00 20:30

I think I'm the kiddie.

SPEAKER_02 20:31

I know you are just kidding. Because grown grown means that you can take care of yourself financially. That's what grown grown means. Is that what it means? Yes. It means that you are no longer reliant upon or depending upon. Now, it doesn't mean that we don't do it because we want to out of the kindness of our heart, but you don't need it to survive. Right now, your survival in many ways still depends on your parents. You still need us.

SPEAKER_00 20:56

Can I get true?

SPEAKER_02 20:56

Can you okay what you say? I said it's true. It is true. It's true.

SPEAKER_00 21:00

Which means you are grown-ish. You basically just told everybody I was broke.

SPEAKER_02 21:04

You are. You out of college.

SPEAKER_00 21:06

I don't think anybody would say I wasn't, but I don't think anybody would expect it's okay.

SPEAKER_02 21:10

It's okay that you don't have the financial baseline right now to be able to sustain your own life in all ways.

SPEAKER_00 21:16

Right, my young adults out there just know we're struggling together. You know, we we all we all trying to get this money up.

SPEAKER_02 21:23

Can I just say that what y'all uh see, we often ask. We need to we might need to have a whole podcast on being grown-ish. Ooh, because what y'all, yeah, because what y'all have to realize is as long as you're still dependent upon someone to help you with your life, it it is my joy. Me and your dad love it. We love that we get to help y'all move on to the next level. The reality is you cannot take our resources and not also take our opinion. Ooh. Or our direction. Or follow our rules. That's true.

SPEAKER_00 21:52

But I want to do that.

SPEAKER_02 21:53

I know you want to do that. I wanted to do it when I was 21 too and lived in this house that we're sitting in right now.

SPEAKER_00 21:58

I feel like I value you guys' opinion a lot. You're very teachable.

SPEAKER_02 22:02

A lot. Yep. There are also still rules that have to go with the fact that you live in our house. And most of the time, I'm I'm I'm not going to tell say say this like I'm talking about you. I'm saying myself when I was your age. A lot of the times we want the benefits of being still a part of our parents' house, but because we feel grown and grown-ish, we don't want to honor the rules that they have set with the reality that it is still their house. Um so back to our point of this conversation. I should have been more um I don't want to be too hard on myself, but I was about to say when my kids were young and we had friends that whose kids were already at the stage y'all are at now, I should have watched more carefully because it is very interesting uh parenting adult children where you're moving from parent to coach, where you're moving from regulator to basically advisor. It it's a hard transition to make. I should have probably taken more notes on how exactly uh older parents who had older kids were doing that. Except in the moment, you're raising small kids. You you try to get through the you try to get to bedtime and dinner time. You that's it. You don't know how to take rules for the next season of life because you're just in the one you're in, trying to make it to the end of the day. But I will say that there is such value in having people around you who have walked through the season that you're currently going into to have those people around you because I know I can call them now. I can call Pastor John Jenkins and Trina Jenkins, who you know their six kids are a stage ahead of y'all. And I can ask them now, okay, so my boys are back at home. They are grown-ish, they they drive off with their friends, everybody's kind of got their own schedules. How did y'all navigate this? Did you have requirements on them in terms of keeping the house clean?

SPEAKER_00 23:49

I'm cleaning my room right now, mom. You don't gotta look at me like that. I I'm doing it. I'm the same thing. I'm honoring my parents' household. Well, I got it. I got it. Don't worry about me, dog. I got you. You my homie, man. You gotta remember that. I don't know what is happening here.

SPEAKER_02 24:07

Anyway. Okay, can I make this super spiritual? No, I want to make that super spiritual.

SPEAKER_00 24:12

We want God's resources, not his rules.

SPEAKER_02 24:14

We want God's resources, don't we? We sure do. We do, we sure do. We don't want to actually honor him, we just want him to give us stuff.

SPEAKER_00 24:21

Yeah, we don't really wanna we wanna like say we love him, but not really trust them, so that hopefully our love is good enough to get his blessings, but the trust is not bad enough to not get it, and we don't have to follow all the things that he tells us to do. Anyways, that's just the point. That's not that's separate. We'll talk about that another episode.

SPEAKER_02 24:37

Well, just so you know, while you're transitioning back to your life here in Dallas, your parents are transitioning to what does it mean to parent young adult kids? Like this is our first time doing it in our lifetimes, either. It's like one day, like I was telling you about those Instagram posts. One day when we become grandparents, we'll be grandparents for the first time. We don't know what we're doing, we just got here. It was the same way when y'all became teenagers. We were like, we've never parented teenagers before. So Lord help us to figure this out because we just we don't know. Yeah, and I think sometimes it is hard for kids to see their parents realizing they just got here too, to whatever the next season is, and to have grace that they're human, they're trying to figure it out and all that.

SPEAKER_00 25:16

A thousand percent.

SPEAKER_02 25:17

Okay, so writing things down so you can take the lesson from one season into the next.

SPEAKER_00 25:21

Yep, that's it. What's the next thing, God said? The next thing is trust in a very overarching general broad sense, but there's so many, so many unknowns. Like you it's so easy to make um to make assumptions in your head about what the next season is going to look like. Bad or good. I can think, oh bro, I'm about to get out of college immediately. This is a lot of young adults. I'm not saying this is my thought process, but I'm saying a lot of young adults are like, I'm about to get out of college immediately. I'm about to immediately get a job, make six figures, and I'm about to be good, then I'm about to find a wife, then I'm about to, you know, get me, I got this perfect timeline of how much I got it, everything locked in. And then on the flip side, you can also be like, oh, uh, it's gonna be so hard to make friends. It's gonna be so hard to so like there's just there's so many things, positive and negative, that's going through your mind when the unknown and the uncertainty is there, that God is just like, you doing all of this extra stuff, and I got the perfect plan lined out as long as you love and follow me and do it, I tell you. And so he's like, bruh, you you don't have to worry about that. And so I'm like, oh, because I'm a very I I like I like I like control a little bit, not like a lot, but I like to I I I like to set goals and achieve them.

SPEAKER_02 26:48

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 26:49

Like I like, yeah, I want to make I want to hit my financial goals, I want to hit my you know, relationship goals, I want to hit my friendship goals, I want to hit, you know, what whatever it is. And so it it it for me, it's very hard to um set a goal and not be attached to it so severely that I do my own thing instead of what God's telling me to do. So God is is like, bruh, like you just gotta trust me. Like, yes, though I bless those who plan diligently for sure. However, not at the expense of what I'm telling you to do. Plan, have the goal, work towards the goal. But as soon as I redirect your path, you better be willing to say yes, sir, and take the left. You know what I mean? So I think trust is a big thing in transition seasons because it's like you don't know what's on the other side of a transition, especially right before in the midst of the actual transition swipe. You're like, oh, I don't know what's happening. I don't know. Sometimes you just pick up and leave. Um, God, and whenever he stopped Paul in the middle of the thing, uh, wherever he was, I don't know what city that is. I'm not super, super biblically knowledgeable like that. Um, he stopped him, Damascus.

SPEAKER_02 28:01

Oh, the road to Damascus.

SPEAKER_00 28:02

The road to Damascus. That's exactly what it is. He said, Yep, stop. Yep, I got something for you. Go ahead, go that way. He's like, But I don't go go that way. You'll see a man there. What do you what what else is there for me to do? I don't know. Go that way and you're gonna see somebody. You know what I mean? And God is a lot of times like that's that for us in transition seasons. Get up and go that way, or it's that's happening. And so it's like, but I don't got I don't know when I'm gonna get there, if this is gonna be there, this is gonna he's like, bruh, do you trust me or not? Just go. So I think trust, all that to say, trust is a big thing that God is teaching me, and trying to um I have a I guess a tactic that I remembered, but or a tool. But anyways, do you have any thoughts about that?

SPEAKER_02 28:42

Yes, well, actually the the third tool that I was gonna say ties into that, which is to hold to hold it loosely, hold your expectations loosely, hold where you've been loosely, um, hold your life loosely. Um, I remember when I was at Dallas Theological Seminary, Chuck Swindahl was the chancellor at the time. If you do not know who Chuck Swindahl is, what what where have you been at? Chuck Swindahl is a legend. JC, you know who Chuck Swindahl is, right? I know the name because you say it often. Chuck Swindahl, you know, Insight for Living is the name of his ministry. He's 92 now. He is actually going to be coming to our church soon, which I'm so excited about to do an interview. He's spectacular. Anyway, he was the chancellor at the time I was at seminary, so this is 25 years ago. And one chapel service, he said that he had given a message in which he was talking as a point of illustration about his children who would have probably been teenagers at the time were in their 20s. And he was talking about holding on tightly to his kids. He said at the end of service, people came up to him to say hello because he was the pastor of his church. And then he said, A little old woman came up to him, really short. He said, So she he's looking down at her and he and and he she picked up his hands like this, her hands underneath his, and she said, Pastor Chuck, you're gonna have to loosen your grip on your kids. Otherwise, it's gonna really hurt when God has to pry your fingers open to take them away. So he's sharing this with us that you hold seasons of life, you hold expectations, you hold things you treasure loosely. It doesn't mean don't hold them, you hold them, but you can't let your grip be too tight because God will pry your fingers open, and the pain of the pry is worse if you would just be loose with your hold. That to me is one of the keys of transitioning well is that whatever it is that tethered you to the previous season or that you were enjoying about it, treasuring in it, whatever the people, the lifestyle, the cadence, whatever it offered you, you have to hold it loosely because seasons change. That's the thing, is we kind of get comfortable and want things to be like they were. If we're comfortable in it, and we just start, it's supposed to be like this, you know. Um, if we're not loose with the hold, it really does hurt. Yeah. When God pryes our fingers open.

SPEAKER_00 31:17

Yeah, and that that's actually extremely hard for me. I don't, it's just one of the things between balancing, like you said it the best way I've ever been. Like a couple years ago, I never forgot it. Balancing ambition and contentment. So hard. Still don't know how to do it. I don't know if it's the perfect way. I'm trying to figure it out.

SPEAKER_02 31:32

But being content with the way things are while also being ambitious towards the future.

SPEAKER_00 31:37

Yes, that is so hard. Because I want to trust God, I really do. But sometimes I just get so ton of vision and focus that I forget that I'm not trying to do it. Understood. Understood, yeah. He's trying to help me with that part, but also one of the things that um he keeps reminding me of is let me just let me just give you a little snapshot of what I've done in the last four years of your life, and then I want you to remember that when you decide not to trust me again. And then when you study in the Exodus of the Israelites, just remember that you just like them. Because you want, you, I brought you through all these things. I just I done did so much for you. I done, you know, drop and metaphorically speaking, dropped down the manna from heaven and I done parted the Red Sea for you and did all these things that you didn't deserve. And now you're talking about so I want to go right back to Egypt. Yeah, and I look at the explaining who wanna go back. I'm reading the the I'm reading the numbers like y'all are idiots.

SPEAKER_02 32:37

Y'all are and then the Holy Spirit is like, Yeah, and I'm like, ah, this is you.

SPEAKER_00 32:42

That is just like me.

SPEAKER_02 32:43

So um which goes back to writing down what God's done and what he's taught you so that you can appreciate the many ways he's brought you through and sustained you.

SPEAKER_00 32:53

Yeah, because I think that's that's huge for me is remembering, like remembering, remembering God had has done this, done this, and remembering how you how big of a deal it was then. Like when you when you like get removed from it, you forget all the emotions that were attached and how hard it was going through it, or whatever. You just remember, oh yeah, God helped me with that situation, and then just keeps going. But then in the midst of you, you're like, God, if you bring me through this, I'm not gonna say that this has happened to me before, but I have an example that some people may relate to.

SPEAKER_02 33:24

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 33:24

And I'm so sorry, mom. Okay, but when you're drunk, okay, and you like Is this a personal illustration? Maybe it is, maybe it's not. It is, maybe it's it's a personal illustration. Maybe it's not.

SPEAKER_02 33:36

Should I tell them how I know it's a personal illustration?

SPEAKER_00 33:39

That that this wasn't the time that I was talking about. That wasn't the time.

SPEAKER_02 33:42

But can I first of all, you told on yourself just then when you said this wasn't the time I was talking about. Let me go ahead. Don't forget your illustration about being drunk. But I'm gonna tell y'all something. I am, I don't know what y'all's perception is of our life, but we're regular over here in these streets. We raising regular kids who have a regular life, who have to make regular decisions about the regular influences and the regular paths they're gonna walk down and behaviors they're going to indulge or not indulge. This one right here, there have been two times that this boy has come into my house wasted. When I say wasted, I mean it in the purest sense, the fullest sense that you could think of wasted. This one right here. Now, one time I'm gonna give you a little bit of a break. I'm gonna give you a little bit of a break in this because if you did not lie to me, this was on one of the nights of a prom, I believe. He went to a party and he drunk one thing in a unmarked bottle. So that was his first, you know, we've told these kids don't take nothing, don't drink nothing. That is not marked. You have to know what it is. And he had some of this in a little bottle. We're pretty sure that it was uh, I don't know what you call it, but him 99% proof. Like we're pretty sure someone had put like a whole because he only had what shouldn't make you wasted. But I mean, almost where I like, I thought I might have to take him to the hospital because I don't know if this is alcohol poisoning. I mean, he could not function. It was terrible. So, to your defense on that one, I think that you did something unwise, but it wasn't like you were just sitting there like drinking a whole bunch of stuff. Did you tell me the truth about that?

SPEAKER_00 35:19

Sure. I think so.

SPEAKER_02 35:21

Was that this you don't remember that?

SPEAKER_00 35:23

I'm trying to remember how much I drunk.

SPEAKER_02 35:24

It's because you were blacked out, basically. And then he did it again another time where he was just being dumb and had two little shots or something like that. And then he can't, he has no tolerance. This is what I've had to tell him. We're on a whole different tangent now. Your physical body is trying to tell you you cannot drink. You can't, you can hold nothing. So don't do it. So anyway, I don't know what kind of parenting situation y'all think we got going thing. Everybody is over here just going to Bible study and stuff. Oh no. No.

SPEAKER_00 35:51

I was out here.

SPEAKER_02 35:52

These people are wearing us out.

SPEAKER_00 35:55

I was out here having fun, you know what I'm saying? I was out here in these streets. Big dog. They called me Big J back in the day. No, they didn't. Didn't nobody call you no Big J.

SPEAKER_02 36:04

Anyway, go to your illustration. I was just making sure they knew this is real life illustrations here, unfortunately.

SPEAKER_00 36:10

Oh yeah. So when you're drunk and you're like, God, I'm never gonna drink again. You sitting on the toilet on the floor and you're like, God, I'm never gonna drink again. This is horrible. If you get me out of this and I get out alive, I promise you, I make a promise, I'm never gonna drink again. It gets like three weeks later, you forget how bad it felt to be drunk, and you like a couple sips couldn't hurt again. It's the same thing that happens in regular life. Like, you we will get drunk, we'll be drunk in the it situation that we're in and feel all the emotions, feel all the bad stuff, whatever, and then get over the hangover and be like, oh, maybe I can go through it again if it's worth it, and then try it again and do that over and over and over again. I think we just need to remember how bad being drunk feels. Not actually on alcohol, but like being drunk on in the emotions of the situation. Anyways, I thought that was a pretty good illustration, if you don't mind me. But hey, maybe maybe it's too vulnerable. Sorry guys, I'm being vulnerable. Sorry, I I apologize. My mom can't take it. Just kidding. She she knows this.

SPEAKER_02 37:11

Great illustration, JC.

SPEAKER_00 37:13

Appreciate that.

SPEAKER_02 37:14

I'm glad the Lord put that on my heart. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 37:17

Yeah, no doubt.

SPEAKER_02 37:18

That's awesome. But but I think people can relate. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. I think it's relatable. It is very relatable. People like all last night I was. I was at the club downtown, and I sure did come back and say that. I sure did. Yep. Okay, it is interesting to me. This might be off topic too. I don't even know anymore what the topic is. But it is interesting to me how we do forget like something that we're doing that makes you feel terrible. Okay, so in this illustration, it's drinking, but it could be something else. And you just did it, like you're in their relationship. Is it you know that's not wise for you to be in this relationship? You know that they're not supposed to talk to you about like that, treat you like that, it's codependent, it makes you feel exhausted, whatever. And then you forget and you go back.

SPEAKER_00 38:02

That is very interesting, isn't it?

SPEAKER_02 38:03

Yeah, like we we forget what it cost us, the toll it took on us, how it drained us, whatever the thing is, and then we get a few weeks removed. Lord, I will never, if you give me a second chance, I will never do this again. And then we just totally forget once we're far enough removed from it, what what what you know what I think it is?

SPEAKER_00 38:23

Dumb serious. You know what I think it is. I was thinking about this the other day, actually, which is funny, is that usually if it's a past recollection, we remember the great parts about it and not the horrible parts of it. Of course, which is why in the moment you can be like, This is horrible. This is terrible because in the present moment you're more focused on the bad parts and the good parts. So then you get out the season that you were just in, and then you're only focused, you remember the good parts, not the bad parts.

SPEAKER_02 38:46

So it's just like a which is very much like the children of Israel, which you brought up earlier. They were like, We could you take us back to the fish and the garlic of Egypt? What? But they were like craving the food they used to eat there. They don't mention nothing about the slavery, about the beatings, about the intense toil of work, the taxation on them. Um, for centuries, they've been uh marginalized and all that. They're not talking nothing about that. Just take us back to the fit, the food. Like all you remember is the food. Are you serious? You don't remember what it cost you? You acting like it was free. It wasn't free. They were killing you. I got a verse for this. So you're correct. The bottom line is you're correct. We don't remember that. Um, and to transition well, to get back to the point and want to hear a verse, but to transition well, we do have to recall what did not serve me then? What actually didn't produce Christ-likeness in me? What made me sick in my physical body or my emotions or my mind, my spirit? What was not exemplifying maturity in this way? At least I don't need to go to the next season and repeat the crap of the last season. I better have learned some lessons and behave better now. Which can I say, in regards to the overindulgences of alcoholic beverages, that is not a problem in my son's life. I want y'all to know that he had a couple of incidents that were foolish. But I am glad to say you did not go to college and just like act a fool with that. You just were like, I'm not, y'all can you could do whatever you're doing. I'm not doing that. And I love that you kind of learned I did dabble a dabble dabble in my early years.

SPEAKER_00 40:23

That you have learned the I I'm done with that. I just try to obey what God tells me to do. You know what I'm saying?

SPEAKER_02 40:28

Yeah, you put put child like put childlike things away, Paul said. And now I became a man. I think as a man, I behave as a man. I don't do not do childish things any longer.

SPEAKER_00 40:39

And I think that actually is a transition thing that we need to talk about at the end of this and before we wrap it up. Correct. Is like there's a transition from doing the childish things and then doing the mature things. Yes. There's a transition between that.

SPEAKER_02 40:50

And the threshold for that has gotten older and older age-wise as society has uh come into mo modern modernity, modern times, I should say.

SPEAKER_00 41:01

Modernistic.

SPEAKER_02 41:02

Yeah, it used to be Paul talking about manhood, he's talking about they they were 10.

SPEAKER_00 41:07

Oh.

SPEAKER_02 41:08

I made that age up, but I'm saying which there was no teenager years, there was no gap of frivolity and foolishness before I get to manhood. You were a child, then you were a man. Yeah. Put away childish things and act like you got some sense. And I'm saying we've we have lost that. Where it's like we're giving people a pass to sort of squander away young years and not be intentional and focused and don't basically kill yourself, whether physically, we could be talking about that, but we could be talking about your emotions where you've got so much baggage. But by the time you do get married and grow up, now you have so much emotional baggage, or you haven't taken the time to cultivate your um mental prowess. So you've wasted so many years, you could have been accumulating information. And by the way, I'm on a tangent, there is no neutral. So you're either atrophying or you are putting fiber and muscle on that area, whether it's your body, your emotions, your mind, your spirit. There's no like I'm just neutral here. No, it's either atrophy or you're getting stronger.

SPEAKER_00 42:14

Okay. Uh, for the people out there that are like me and have no idea what atrophy is.

SPEAKER_02 42:19

Atrophy means basically when something is decaying. So you know if somebody puts a cast on and they're not using their arm, when they take the cast off six weeks later, this arm is smaller than this one. Because if you're not exercising the muscle, it is automatically atrophying. Uh-huh. Okay. Right. So I'm saying there's no neutral. If you're not using the muscle, your body, your mind, your spirit, spiritual development, your emotions, taking care of them. If you're not doing that actively, there's atrophy on some level that's taking place. And then it sneaks up on you. You don't realize it till you take the cast off. You get to 26, 27, 28, 30, and you're like, I got all this emotional baggage I'm taking into my marriage now. Because I was irresponsible sexually. I was irresponsible with uh substances, and now I'm unhealthy, my liver don't work right. Like it's all the stuff that catches up with you when you were unwise and you don't do what Paul says. Child, man.

SPEAKER_00 43:18

You don't transition. You don't do the transition right. You're you're not you're not doing a process.

SPEAKER_02 43:24

Yeah, yeah. So, yeah. Okay, was there a verse you wanted to read? If you can't find it.

SPEAKER_00 43:29

No, I can't find it. Maybe we'll put it in the something like that. Whatever the verse was. But it in the all the majority of the places we were just in, concise to two things that I feel like I got out of that. Is the first thing is um, well, let me go backwards. Trust.

SPEAKER_01 43:46

Trust.

SPEAKER_00 43:47

Like trusting God um for the areas which he has for my life, not having to know everything, stewarding the transition correctly, and trusting his ways through it.

SPEAKER_02 43:57

Which means holding loosely, trust means. I'm holding it loosely, Lord. I trust you with what's next. Okay.

SPEAKER_00 44:03

Holding loosely, trusting that what God has for me is better than what I have for myself, that his plan is better than my dreams, all those things. That's something that I need to keep in the back of my mind for sure. And the second thing was well, I just doggone it. I just lost it. It was taking the lessons. It was taking the lessons and writing it down. Yes. Remembering what God's already brought you through, the lessons that He's taking you through, and then writing down what you're learning now so that when the transition happens, you can transition it and take it from here to there.

SPEAKER_02 44:36

And I think we even layered, layered that even more as we kept talking, that it's the lessons both good and bad. That you take the lessons that are supposed to be shaping your character because they were negative things or positive things. I'm not going to do this no more. This cost me too much. I learned that lesson. Or here are the ways that the Lord reframe my character and perspective and made me grateful for solitude. I need to make sure to keep implementing that in this next season that's going to try to take away solitude because you're in a busy city. Like, so it's positive and negative. What are the lessons I learned? Because of my foolishness or because of God's grace and allowing me to see a value point here. That needs to be a part of my decision making now.

SPEAKER_00 45:15

Beautiful. That's great.

SPEAKER_02 45:16

Welcome home from college, babe.

SPEAKER_00 45:18

I'm taking that. I'm not doing that.

SPEAKER_02 45:20

Like grasp my hand. You can do it. Come on, just for the end of this one episode. Can you do it? Like just hold my hand. You can do it. Oh, tight, tight, tight.

SPEAKER_00 45:29

That's what you're getting. You can't, you can't. That's what you're getting, Mom.

SPEAKER_02 45:31

I'm just gonna hold his hand here while we end this episode.

SPEAKER_00 45:34

We're ending it now.

SPEAKER_02 45:35

Thank you guys for being here. Y'all are amazing.

SPEAKER_00 45:37

I'm so glad you're here. All right, done.