Ep. 7: Discover Yourself Through the Sacred Act of Writing

I take you through my journey of discovering my voice on the page and the potency that writing has provided me for years. These are my motivations & insights to help you develop a consistent writing practice for yourself, including writing prompts and why you should keep writing even when it gets uncomfortable.

Transcript

 Hi, welcome back to Ad-Lib with Liv. I'm your host Liv, and I'm so happy to share space with you today, November 17th. I don't know, I saw something online this morning that said that today is like the beginning of a little portal that's opening, that is giving us. This opportunity to step into what we know is for us and what is our truth and our gift and what our essence that we're supposed to be really channeling in this lifetime.

And I was like, great, let's kick it off. It's a Monday. Closing out the year. Let's, let's do that. So I'm waiting for something to happen. Miraculous. Um, no, but really that is, uh, some work that I've already been doing, which feels really good to say that I know. What I need to be doing, or at least closer to what I know I need to be doing, which is just kind of channeling the things that feel really natural to me.

Writing, speaking, creating. Yeah, just, just creation and sharing because I do feel the need to. Document and share my experiences. And I think that's just the perspective of an artist. You know, an artist doesn't hide their gifts away. And so if you have any desire to put something out into the world, whether it's a product or a book or movement or wisdom or art of any kind, there's this, of course, this desire that comes with that.

That's like you wanna get other people on the same page with you and say, Hey, like you don't have to agree with me, but do you. See what I see. Can you, can we see that together? And I just love that and I think that's been my, my wisdom over the last few months. It's never a waste of time if you're sharing from a place of truth and a place of of.

Curiosity. So yeah, that's what I think the message was from this, this random girl on, on Instagram. But yeah, if that, if that resonates for you guys. Awesome. I hope that this week does open up space for you to step into your essence and your gifts and to remember that you are not. Doing anyone any service by, by holding back with those things.

So yeah. Okay. Let's start with a little bit of housekeeping. I had this realization over the last week that I really like when men are busy. I think when men are bored or they have too much time on their hands, that's when wars start. Uh, women should be resting. We should be creating and we should also be resting.

I, I feel like, 'cause I'm more tuned into my. Cycle than I've ever been before in my life, and I'm realizing how much of our cycle requires us to be restful, you know, requires us to be taking our time going slow. Our bodies go through so much to be the portal of creativity. We also have to give ourselves such time to just be.

Chilling, and I don't always be, I don't necessarily mean resting, like laying down in bed and just not doing anything. That's great. If that's what you need to do, do that. But I also mean like surrounding yourself with people who support your rest and your ease, so people that don't make your life harder.

Okay? This is coming from a childless single woman, so I feel like. I feel like I have a very different perspective on this as if you were to talk to my mom, my sister, any of my friends who have kids who are managing so much, I guess. But I still think you could apply this to a certain degree. Like, no, your kids are not gonna be the one who's like, mom, go take a nap.

You look tired, but your friends and your community, and even like your bosses, or if you're the boss, you know your employees like having like shared relationships that really reiterate your time to. And, and to take it easy or to take it slow, or when someone can recognize that you're like on the verge of burnout and they're like, Hey, I'll take that on for you.

I, I think that's important that women have community members and people in our lives that support our rest. Because women who rest have the opportunity to let that wisdom integrate into their bodies, and then they get to like share that for the world. So it's really just better for the collective. So men should be working and staying busy so wars don't start and that women should be resting so the wisdom can keep being birthed.

Okay. Another realization that I had is, yeah, I'm calling in a partner who reiterates my rest. You know, I have a lot of creative energy and I can find ways to execute that energy. Especially now I'm like, okay, I'm focused. I have projects I'm working on. I'm excited about, you know, creating the podcast and writing weekly and just, you know.

Putting my energy into really focused things. So when I'm with a man, I want him to be, you know, in charge. I want him to take off the load so I can just show up and be at ease and comfortable and relaxed. So this is funny 'cause this happens a lot here in Latin America. Um, white people tend to have a lot more like frantic energy than Latinos.

And honestly, just a lot of. Other groups of people in the world. Um, I don't know why that is, but we just have, I see it everywhere I go. Like there's this, Latinos are very relaxed and very, you know, manana, aura. White people have this urgency to get things done or this, like, they're easily like frustrated and aggravated.

You know, like Karen is a real archetype. Um, and men, there's many male Karens as well. Let's be real. So something I love is like. I used to hate it. I used to hate it when I would be freaking out over something, I couldn't find something. I was lost, something wasn't working. Someone didn't do something right for like a home project or whatever it is, and they just say, you know, Quila and I would get so worked up like you don't tell an angry.

You know, frustrated woman when to calm down and, and it's true, like sometimes there's a place and a time for you to be upset and for you to voice whatever you need to voice and say, Hey, this is not cool. This needs to happen. It hasn't happened, whatever the case is. But now I'm noticing that I get worked up over things that, I mean, I'm pretty, I'm better at it for sure, but I, I can get worked up about silly little things and I will have someone tell me, you know, just.

Karma. And I'm like, you're right. Like I don't need to be freaking out over this. There's no, there's no real urgency. You know, I haven't been in a situation where there's a crisis, you know, and I need to be making it a big thing. So I'm actually loving being told to calm down and it, when it's, when it's nicely said, and even by men, I'm like, yeah, you can tell me to calm down when it's, when it's actually just like a gentle reminder that I don't need to go there.

I don't need to put my. Intense energy into that stressful thing. I can just say, yeah, you know what, it's gonna work out and just trust it. Okay. The other post run wisdom that I had this morning was in relationships where I. You know, have got, have been on such a journey of like, love and self-acceptance and like, what am I worthy of and what am I, you know, what do I feel like I'm not worthy of?

And really having to sit with that. And recently I realized, you know, I'm, I'm in a really good place after a few months of not being in a good place, but I'm finally like, like I can be at peace with myself and anything else that I get to experience in life. Amazing friendships, divine love. Amazing creative collaborations, like all of those things that of course I'm seeking and I'm excited about, those are extra.

Those are like bonus relationships and bonus experiences that you get to have on top of already have. So much within, you know, so much self love, so much understanding of knowing how you, it's a care take for yourself. You know, the amazing energy that you want in this life. You can kind of cultivate that for yourself and sustain that for yourself.

And everything else truly is like an addition to that. And some people might not agree with me on that because it might sound like hyper independent, like. I don't need anyone. I can create everything on my own, but it's really more so of seeing yourself as whole before just, you know, outsourcing that kind of.

Wholeness from someone else or something else. The, the idea is that we are like not complete until we have these out outside external things. And you know, I'm a yogi. I've taught yoga for years. I'm a been a student for 10 years and I really. You know, this is what it boils down to is union with yourself.

And so for me, I'm, I'm having a really nice time seeing how, when, when new people come into my life, I see it as like a bonus. And I also am very mindful of the energy that they're bringing into my life because I've created a very healthy internal environment where, you know, I talk to myself. Sometimes I have my days, but mostly I talk to myself with a really positive perspective.

I treat myself really well because I know what I need to show up in the world and to show up for myself. And so when, when someone comes into my life, I'm like, you know, I know what feels good. And so if you're not adding to that, then I. Don't really see myself making a lot of space for you or for that kind of dynamic.

Um, and I think that kind of boundary setting is also really important for others to see because when you value yourself to such a degree, other people know that you're kind of unfuckable with don't receive it. So you have to believe that you already have

everything. You are whole, that you are the baddest mother. You know? I also think that's a great way to remember that we're not the victim in our lives. We are the creator in our lives. And so when we take ownership of all the things that happen and all the things that we experience, it allows us to be not in control, but aware that.

Life is happening through us, not to us. So for example, if you are going through this journey of self-love and you're like, I don't need someone to tell me that I'm lovable and that I'm worthy, and so you feel like you, you're at that point. You get into a new connection, even like a new friendship, you know, just a new relationship in general, and that person shows you love and all of a sudden you feel so affirmed in all of the kind of self work that you've been doing and knowing that you are valuable and you are worthy.

And then something happens where that connection shifts and that person. You know, it might feel like they don't choose you or they don't pursue you in the way you want it to be pursued, or it just kind of shifts that connection and all of a sudden you're now back in that cycle of feeling like your beliefs around love are actually affirmed.

That you aren't lovable and you aren't worthy. Well, if that's. Happening on repeat, and that's your pattern. I think that's telling you that you know, you never really had that self-love to begin with. If someone so easily could come into your life and take it from you, I don't think it was ever yours. And I know that sounds harsh, but I think it's, again, just an invitation to go back to the drawing board and be like, where are you outsourcing that love for yourself?

Take a little bit. Take a little bit back, you know, and like pour that energy into yourself. Go get yourself that massage and care. Take that part of you if you need to be heard. Sit down and write and put down your thoughts and allow the page to be your soundboard and listen to yourself first. Okay, great segue.

'cause this episode is all about writing and getting into a writing practice. So I think that everybody is a writer. I actually know that everybody is a writer. Everyone has a voice, an inner voice that they can share with the world. Everyone has the ability to. Get their story out in some capacity. And a lot of people, I think, don't identify with being a writer because their voice doesn't sound like what they think it a writer should sound like.

Or they have this idea of like their favorite author in their mind and they're like, well, I don't sound like that, so I'm a shit writer. And it's like, well, thank God we don't all sound the same. I think when people get into a practice of writing, they, they come from a judgmental place of if someone were to read this, what would they think?

And oftentimes if you're just starting, it's not gonna sound amazing. Might not be super clear, might not be as poetic as you would like, but I think that's where you have to get past that sometimes. The, the first step of writing is writing for yourself. Writing is a sacred act that you should first do for yourself.

So if you're someone who is looking to get to know yourself on a deeper level, is interested in exploring language as a way to express your. Desires and your dreams or to document your experiences, um, you have to first become proficient at writing through the stickiness of the soul. And what I mean by that is being able to write through your own shit like your own really interpersonal inner worlds.

To write through that meaning like you don't stop writing when it gets uncomfortable. You don't stop writing when it gets too confronting. Or like, oh, I don't actually really wanna think about that, so I'm not gonna write it down. And like using it, you know, avoidance, you know, if you're, I mean, there's parts of me that are still.

Discovering this, this level of writing where, you know, I, if I'm avoiding something in my mind, in my heart, I won't write it down because I know that when I put pen to paper, it makes it more real and damn, that's where the magic lies and something that. Maybe won't be true forever, but it might be true right now and it's okay to to own that.

And I think when I had my recent breakthrough about writing and it's like, girl, that was basically me realizing that if I am not creating and writing and processing what's going on in here and here and putting it out. I'm really doing a disservice to myself, first and foremost, because all of that energy, all of that, mm, all of that potency, all of that essence that is me, is not being released, is not being shared.

And that's just, I've said this before, it's like you're congested, you know, if you don't let that out. And so I think that writing first should always be a practice of flushing through and using it as a tool to process. Um, there is so much creative liberation that can happen when you allow the pen to be kind of a guide for what's inside and what you are trying to understand about yourself or a person around you, or a project in front of you.

And it can be the thing that leads you to answers that gives you clarity, because once you put it on paper, now you have to look at it. It's like looking into a mirror, it's like, oh shit, this is really true right now, isn't it? Okay. And again, you don't have to like attach to this thing that might be, um, probably is something that is passing through your life or just is a temporary state of being, but when you write it, you have to look at it.

And that's really important when it comes to confronting some things. The difference between having. The biggest, most clear vision in the world, but never actually sitting down and spelling it out, spells spelling, you know? That's how we. Cast our magic into the world. It's how we cast our vision. It's how we cast our desires.

You have to push through the weight of not wanting to write about certain things and the doubt that creeps in when you're writing doesn't sound like you or it doesn't even feel like you Sometimes you have to write beyond that. Edge writing is very, yeah, there's a lot of edges to writing. Giving yourself time to journal and, and document and remember, and.

Manifest is just giving yourself time with yourself and that is so good you guys. It's so good. I've been doing this since I was a little girl because I am. I would say more of an introvert when it comes to like my own, like inner processing. Definitely an extrovert. Also, I love to share and socialize and Kate communicate intimately with others, but I'm definitely an introvert and so ever since I was a little girl, like being on the page with myself was just, it felt like such a sacred act.

I remember we all got, uh, those black and white like marbled notebooks in middle school. What were those called? It's like a special kind of notebook, I can't remember. So nineties. And we were all encouraged to write and everybody took it so seriously. We were treating our, our diaries like, you know, these beautiful places where we can express ourselves.

And we had friends write each other notes inside and we had sticker pages and you know, but overall it was like a place to process and like share our intimate thoughts. And one day the boys took all of our journals out of our backpacks and ran up the tallest slide on the playground and read all of our journal entries out loud and we were all like, it was, it was a type of, it wast even humiliation.

It was violation. It was like you just took my personal inner workings of my world and are. Screaming them from the playground in your prepubescent voice, and you don't even know what any of this means because you're a little boy and all you know is that you're humiliating us and that feels fun for you.

Whereas for us, it was just such a deep place of violation where we were like, oh my God. Like it made me, it it, once I got over like the embarrassment or the frustration with these idiot boys, I think what happened was. I realized how special writing is for me and that it held so much and that if I had a place to write down my ideas, then I had a place to be seen and heard first by myself and then if I chose by the world.

But there's also like a protection there of like, oh my God, you're reading my, my inner world. Like how personal? So, you know, treat the pages that you're. Putting yourself onto as, as something really sacred and as something that maybe you don't wanna protect everything in those pages because maybe there's something that needs to be said out into the world that's in those pages, but first you have to feel this like trust with a diary, a journal, and it's not up to anyone else to take that and put it out into the world.

It's entirely up to you. Being present with your rawness with how real and gritty your feelings might be one day, you know, some days it feels like your words are screaming back at you because they were so hungry to be heard. Um, some days it might feel like poetry slips from the tip of your pen with ease, and every word has meaning.

And some days it feels like the flat, white, winter sky, void of color and purpose. Keep writing, keep writing.

Journaling, letter writing, processing pages, stream of consciousness, scribbles and venting. Writing to your future self. Writing about your favorite things, films, art, love a person and experience document. You know, I first started recording everything that my dad would buy at the grocery store on our holiday trips.

And I so funny 'cause I remember looking back at these little journals, you know, my little block handwriting, spelling out nail polish remover, chips, liquor. And it just was so, it was almost like my way of seeing my words on the page for the first time because I didn't really know how to process, I didn't really know how to write about my feelings when I was six years old.

But I did know how to talk about like what I did that day. And then it was when my Aunt Joe started, she was my pen pal from when I was a little girl. And she would, she was always traveling the world. She lived in different places in the us. And she would write me and we would do sensory stories for each other.

What did you hear today? What did you smell today? What did you see today? And we would just write each other back and forth all summer long. And it was like her way of getting me to, you know, get in touch with, with language from like a more interpersonal experience and also getting to be in touch with my environment.

Those letters, which I still have, um, back home that were, you know, my first guide to getting in touch with my place and being able to share that experience with someone else in a really safe space. So maybe there's someone in your life you wanna start writing letters to. I would actually say that's like one of the most beautiful ways to use language.

Letter writing is such a deep way to connect to each other and it's so much more meaningful than a text or a voicemail or a. FaceTime, an email even. Um, I do love a good email letter though. I also wanna encourage you to, if you have the chance, if you can get off your phone and get off your laptop and actually use, put your pen to paper.

There's something really amazing that happens when you actually use your hand to write something. And I found this from the NIH, the National Institutes of Health. And they say that handwriting activates a broader network of brain regions involved in motor sensory and cognitive processing, typing, engages fewer neural circuits, resulting in more passive cognitive engagement.

Right. That so makes sense. You're just typing away and you're kind of like half in, half out 'cause it's like your hands are kind of doing the work and so your brain can like be less connected to what you're actually typing. So despite the advantages of typing in terms of speed and convenience, handwriting remains an important tool for learning and memory retention.

Also, the slower pace of handwriting fosters deeper thought and creativity. As the brain has more time to process and synthesize ideas. It is also true that typing speed may favor brainstorming and fast generation of ideas, but can lead to less reflective processing. Culturally handwriting has evolved alongside technology shifting from a daily necessity to an art form in some contexts, in historical records, it serves as a window into the past, preserving traditions, emotions, and the essence of an era.

Hmm. Last week's episode was all about elemental practices and questions and prompts that I provided to help you set a very intentional vision for this next season. 'cause we're on the cusp of fall and winter. We're on the cusp of the new year, so it's really important to like get connected to place.

Figure out what you wanna be really intimately connected to this season when it comes to the elemental practices of connecting with earth, water, wind, and fire. I would say that this is a really great place to explore different types of writing. So you could, for example, use those elements to pick out a memory in your life where you had like a really intimate experience with one of those elements.

And just kind of notice like what came up, what felt good, what felt like you were hesitant, what did the element evoke for you? And then you can kind of tune into what aspects of that element you wanna bring into, like your current practices. So memory is is always a great place to start if you're not sure like how to process something or how to write about something.

Take some time to visit, like what the elements conjure and write it all down. Uh, letting it flow as chaotic or unclear as it may come out. Just let it go, let it go, let it go, let it, let it flow. Literally, let the ink flow. Let your hand cramp. Just keep writing and then you can revisit your responses and make them more concise and clear to plan.

Your seasonal changes, uh, rereading your own words and looking for patterns or even areas where you feel like you could go a little bit deeper is also really powerful. Um, and then trying to find the right words that capture like the sentiment, the manifestation, the desire or that seed of reflection that you really wanna get clear on.

You know, try writing it a few different times to distill that intention even more because, you know, I'm someone who has a lot of words and so it takes me more time to distill what I'm trying to say into one thing clear. And so this is always a practice for me is to like keep simplifying, keep trimming it down.

And that also forces you to like creatively use language, use words that say more so you can. You know, write less. Um, yeah, make your words as real as the elements. Write them into their fullest potency. And in my substack, I actually give really detailed examples of what that can look like. So head over to my substack ad lib with live.

You can read it as a non-subscriber or if you're subscribed, if you're in the Substack system, you can go ahead and sub subscribe and get my weekly emails, because what I do is I give you a prompt of like 10 questions, MAOS, and I would say that in order to make this really meaningful this work, I would say don't just read the questions and answer in your head.

Take out a piece of paper, respond to the questions by writing them down. Now the questions are. Deep questions. You know, some of them are like, how am I gonna channel my feminine and masculine energies this season? What are some things that I'm ready to let go? What are some conversations that I'm ready to clear with someone?

And so they require some processing. And so this is the perfect place for you to sit with yourself, give yourself a big piece of paper to start jotting down on. Don't limit yourself to a little corner of a journal. No, clear the page. Clear the space, clear the page, let yourself get into it, you know? And honestly, the more that you write, the deeper you go and the, the deeper the hole gets.

So sometimes you find yourself processing one thing and then all of a sudden all these other things are coming up and you're like on a whole tangent of like, oh my God, I actually am so annoyed that that person said that. And I really wanna confront them because it's actually reaffirming this belief system that I'm trying to rewrite for myself.

And I really wanna. Clear that and create more honesty with my friendships by saying this thing, opening a blank page and putting yourself in a position to just freeform write. It's like the wild West baby. You don't know what you're getting into. Don't be scared. Once you write something in print, the more potent it becomes.

If you have any questions about this writing practice or wanna talk to me about what you know, hesitancy you might have or anything like that, please reach out you, you can comment on my YouTube or send me an Instagram dm. Send me an email, and I'm happy to connect with you in this way. I am so curious to know how that experience goes for you.

If you're someone who is already like a practiced writer who has a. Continue who has a ritual around writing or who is maybe even a professional writer. This may not feel as applicable to you, but I would just maybe invite you to take a moment to see how writing has been such a source of reflection and, and self-development for you.

And for those of you who don't think you're a good writer, who are maybe, who maybe struggle with confronting your feelings, I would say. This is for you. This is exactly why this practice is here, is to allow yourself to be seen and heard first by yourself. So I think. Therapy, talk therapy, all different types of therapy is of course amazing to have a guide, you know, help you with certain things and lead you to certain discoveries about yourself and to help you process is amazing.

But I would also say that writing is a therapeutic tool and beyond the, the creative expression of it all, it's here, it's available to you. To witness yourself in all of the messiness and all of the beauty in all of the success that you've had and all of the despair that you've been through. Writing is there to like hold a safe space for you to just like let it all be felt and it's changed my life for that reason beyond any published work that I've done.

My my. Greatest work has probably, probably lives within the seam of my own private journals, and there's something really beautiful about that. Thank you so much for joining another episode of Ad-Lib with Liv. Can't wait to connect with you next week. Chacha.