Nightmare Party - First Rolls

Mark Little, Kevin Lee, Mark Chavez create their characters and Ryan Beil starts the campaign.

Transcript

SPEAKER_05 0:15

Welcome to D D. Thanks for having us. Why don't you guys go around and just introduce yourselves to the people listening and like maybe what you know about DD? I'll go. Yeah, I'll go first.

SPEAKER_00 0:26

I uh I don't know anything. Yeah, let's roll for first.

SPEAKER_04 0:31

No, go ahead. Battle of the Marks.

SPEAKER_00 0:33

Yes, Kevin. Wow. So this is Mark uh Little, Mark L. And um I've never played DD before, but I'm really excited. You know, I love this idea, Ryan. I'm happy to be doing this. Yeah, fantastic.

SPEAKER_04 0:46

Yeah, it's gonna be really, really fun. Uh, why don't we go to Mark C? Hey, I'm Mark Chavez. Um, I I love fantasy, I love the genre, I you know, I like imagination. I'm excited to play this game. Uh I like you guys. So, you know, I'm ready to have fun. I'm ready to are we are we like fighting orcs? I'm ready to fight some orcs.

SPEAKER_05 1:06

You know what? That's a total possibility. Uh orcs definitely might come up, but uh we'll take baby steps to start with.

SPEAKER_00 1:12

We should, we should, we should say uh off the bat that Mark is uh flanked by props.

SPEAKER_04 1:18

Yeah. I well I wanted to I wanted to be a team player here, so I brought I have a castle uh here. So hopefully we'll we'll run into a castle. If we do, we can use this as a model.

SPEAKER_08 1:27

And a circle? Have you run into a big circle? We can run into a castle.

SPEAKER_04 1:29

I have a circle to block the kitchen that's in the background. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:32

Yeah, and it and in case and in case we end up in a mom's study, I've got my mom's study behind me. That's great.

SPEAKER_08 1:40

Sorry, I haven't introduced myself. I'm Mark K. No, no, no. Oh no. I'm Kevin. Uh yeah, and I like I like fantasy, all right. You know, I like Lord of the Rings, you know, things like that are fine, you know. Um and D is fun. I think it's something that I've like thought about playing when I was younger, but I just like never knew how to get into it or whatever. It seemed like a lot of work. So I'm really glad that we have this opportunity. I think it's gonna be fun, you know.

SPEAKER_05 2:05

You're welcome. You're all welcome.

SPEAKER_08 2:07

Well, thank you.

SPEAKER_05 2:08

You're all welcome. Welcome to the world of DD. So, like I said, we're gonna be like kind of doing DD light. So for anyone out there who's like they're expecting like the full meal deal, all the rules, all the stats, all the modifiers, all the stuff. That's not this. Okay, we're gonna be focusing on telling a story together. You know what I mean? But we will be using dice. So I have a uh blur of a D20 right here. We'll be using a D20. Does everyone have dice with them or access to a dice roller online?

SPEAKER_08 2:36

I have a dice roller online.

SPEAKER_04 2:37

Okay, yeah, online dice roller. I got dice. Apparently they glow in the dark, so if the power goes out or there's an eclipse, we're ready to rock still. Perfect.

SPEAKER_05 2:47

So we'll we'll get we'll get into like the how to do it after we find out who got to do it. You'll be playing characters. So the beautiful thing about DD is you're not yourselves, you're a character that you create. And I know that you know, you there's usually there's like a player's handbook and there's like specific types of uh uh species and uh races, I guess they're called movie species. Yes, like the movie races. Yeah. Yeah. But like, you know, like dwarves or elves, human, you know, tiefling, all that stuff, but it's all on the table. So I just want to hear yeah, Tiefling is like a devil guy, so it's like uh Whoa Part man, part devil.

SPEAKER_08 3:26

Cute little uh animal teeth. Yeah, a doggo?

SPEAKER_00 3:29

Yeah, so feel free to Oh, I want to play as a pupper. Yeah, can we all be doggos? You could all be doggos.

SPEAKER_04 3:37

Three doggos. Can we be three dogos?

SPEAKER_06 3:40

Can I has health potion? Okay, okay, okay.

SPEAKER_04 3:42

I can has cheese potion.

SPEAKER_06 3:44

That's that's one idea. We let us dog it for three doggos. Just really cute doggos. Three doggos on a quest. Can I be a sweet little Corgo buddy?

SPEAKER_05 3:56

Oh, yeah. I I mean the I'm gonna always say yes for sure, but why don't we just like dig into a little bit about like so that's one option. Okay, we can be three doggos, three puppos on a quest together for sure. But like, let's go around the horn and like maybe like from your childhood or from movies or books you've read, is there like a type of character you've always wanted to play and think might be fun? And if we if this is not fruitful, then we'll just be three doggos, collect the breed of dog and get into it, which might, I guess, might be the strongest poll right now. But yeah, Kevin, what about you? What uh anything from fantasy you like?

SPEAKER_08 4:35

Oh, um Ariel from A Little Mermaid. Oh yeah. No, so if I could be like a fully sea-based uh creature, um uh yeah, like a big like a dragon.

SPEAKER_00 4:49

No, I'll go back to Ariel.

SPEAKER_08 4:53

I like Ariel. I really just want like a Jamaican friend. Anyone with a Jamaican friend, that would be funny. Yeah, for sure.

SPEAKER_05 4:59

So I maybe you could be like a sea, the you know, a sea type of uh creature, like uh a mermaid on land, I guess.

SPEAKER_08 5:06

That would be kind of hard to so it'd be sort of like a merman, so it's like a man body, fish body, but on land, so it's like two fins that are like legs for feet that are like fin legs.

SPEAKER_05 5:17

I th well there's there's something called merfolk in the DD universe.

SPEAKER_00 5:26

What if you're what if you're a tri tri-divided like uh Neapolitan ice cream? Top top part man, middle part, middle part fish, bottom part man again.

SPEAKER_04 5:39

That's not Neapolitan, though. That's like oh yeah, that's Den.

SPEAKER_08 5:43

That's like a vanilla, yeah, strawberry vanilla again. Yeah. So yeah, and my fish part doesn't have anything other than scales. Like it doesn't have gills or fins or anything cool or like helpful or anything. It's just scaled. I just have like a skin condition. You have like a tuna belly crickets or something, or I have like uh just like really dry skin.

SPEAKER_04 6:02

And then sushi restaurants always want to eat you.

SPEAKER_08 6:04

I just have psoriasis, but I'm like, I'm a merman. And they're like, you have really bad psoriasis. And I'm like, no, no, no, I'm a merman. These are scales.

SPEAKER_05 6:11

So you want maybe Kevin, you're like part mer, like your your mother or your father was merfolk and the other one was a human, and so now you're you're divide, you're a divided up guy. Do you like that?

SPEAKER_08 6:21

Yeah, it could be like mer merman. If I was Neapolitan, it could be that I had a merman uh father and then like an orc or something like that. So that's like man, fish, orc legs.

SPEAKER_04 6:33

Okay, okay. Powerful. Your name should be like Soriosos or something like that, too. Yes, Soriasos.

SPEAKER_05 6:39

C.

SPEAKER_04 6:40

Ryosos.

SPEAKER_05 6:42

Or or Neapolitan. Like Neapolitan's not a bad name for a character.

SPEAKER_08 6:45

Neilopolitan. Okay. You'll call me Neil, but it's Neil Neilopolitan. And I'm Irish. Neil? I'm Neilopolitan. That was my Irish accent. People are lukewarm on it. Maybe I won't do that. No, it was great. Doggo incoming. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 7:00

Fish in the middle, human up at the top, and then orc legs.

SPEAKER_04 7:06

We're going with it. Alright. So but is this this is just the placeholder until we all do our doggo characters, right?

SPEAKER_05 7:13

Yeah, we're gonna go we're gonna go around the horn and see some individual characters, and then we'll look at the party, and I guess if you guys would rather just be the doggos, then that's fine. Okay. Okay. Uh so Kevin, what you're you're Neil Apolitan? Neil Apolitan.

SPEAKER_08 7:31

Yeah, that's that's that's that's that's an option.

SPEAKER_05 7:33

So just I'm just gonna take some cursory notes here as we go. Thank you, thank you. Chavez or little? C or or or L? Who wants to go next?

SPEAKER_00 7:41

Okay, so I'm pretty married to the pupper. And of course the doggo. Um, but when I think of my fantasy childhood, I uh I also think of Ariel, the mermaid. Okay. I do also think of the sort of Trinidadian crab, Sebastien.

SPEAKER_09 7:59

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 8:00

Um I I would like to be a helpful crab.

SPEAKER_05 8:04

Okay. Sure. Yeah, so you could be okay. Yeah. That's a great idea. You could be uh Neapolitan's helpful crab buddy.

SPEAKER_04 8:14

Are you gonna do the the the accent?

SPEAKER_08 8:16

I'm not going to. I think it should roll for accent. Just on the number scale, how how how how intense it is.

SPEAKER_04 8:26

Oh, right, that's good.

SPEAKER_00 8:27

So maybe he drops a word in. I'm gonna have powerful, I don't know how these numbers work. I'm gonna have powerful code switching abilities. Okay, okay. So if we end up in tr in a sort of Trinidad and Tobago space, you're like, damn. The crowd might come out.

SPEAKER_05 8:43

Okay. Powerful code switching. Okay, great. Uh, do you have a little name for your guy?

SPEAKER_00 8:48

Yeah, his name's gonna be BB.

unknown 8:51

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 8:51

BB8. And he's very rare. Yeah, he'll be BB great.

SPEAKER_05 9:00

Okay. So obviously, you know, cause because uh Neapolitan's from the the water, or at least grew up near the water or whatever, and that's where you two have. A third of him did.

SPEAKER_08 9:10

Well, I just like my middle section to be wet somehow. I don't know how I manage that, but just somehow.

SPEAKER_04 9:15

Just the middle. Dry, wet, dry.

SPEAKER_08 9:17

Dry, wet, dry. Okay, great. I don't like to prune up. I don't like pruning up. So that's a constant battle. Wherever we're out, it's sort of like when you when they have to like transfer like a whale and stuff, they have to like keep it wet. It's like I have to keep my midsection wet at all times.

SPEAKER_05 9:31

Yeah, like when a whale beaches itself, they have to keep it wet until the tide comes back in.

SPEAKER_08 9:35

Or I explode. I have to fill my midsection with dynamite and explode me on the beach.

SPEAKER_05 9:39

So you have to constantly keep your tuna belly wet, I guess. And I'll be on you for that. Yeah, okay, great.

SPEAKER_08 9:46

Wow. Okay.

SPEAKER_04 9:48

And then Mark uh Chavez. Oh, so uh are vampires a thing? I'm I was you know, I'm in I'm into Conan, I'm into vampires. Yeah, maybe do like a combo, you know? Like a strong vampire? Like a big, like a big, like shirtless, strong vampire named Conan, but he's a vampire.

SPEAKER_08 10:06

I could do like Conan the butt a vampire.

SPEAKER_04 10:09

Yeah, like Conan the vampire, the vampire, like he's like, Yes, I am Conan.

SPEAKER_03 10:16

I need your blood, and I'll use my sword. Like that.

SPEAKER_08 10:21

And you just use the very tip of your sword to poke.

SPEAKER_04 10:23

Yeah, and I just poke and then suck, suck the knuckle.

SPEAKER_08 10:26

You don't have to.

SPEAKER_04 10:27

But I keep my but it's a really heavy sword, so I'm always flexing. I look really good. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 10:32

So so you're like a barbarian vampire in Kodak.

SPEAKER_04 10:36

You tell me. You tell me.

SPEAKER_05 10:39

You make it up, Ryan.

SPEAKER_04 10:40

Yeah, is this is that is that a DD thing? Can you be a like a barbarian vampire?

SPEAKER_05 10:45

Yeah, absolutely. I mean, I've never heard I've never seen or heard that myself. Um there are vampires that are barbarians. Um I like I like the mixing it up. I think that that's kind of clever and cool.

SPEAKER_04 10:54

Turn into a bat, turn into a wolf, I can fly, I can turn into smoke. No, no. Vampires can turn into smoke. So I should be able to turn into smoke. Vapor turn into turn into a buff. It's all rave jacked, all the light. And then I have sunlight protection. Um if I'm in, I I I'll have uh because we're gonna be traveling in the day. It's just a coat. Uh with a hood. Uh yeah. And then yeah.

SPEAKER_08 11:20

Just a cool coat.

SPEAKER_04 11:21

Yeah. Okay.

SPEAKER_08 11:22

Uh sunglasses. Yeah, medieval sunglasses?

SPEAKER_05 11:25

Yeah. So you're a you're a daywalker. Like what yeah, my day. Well, yeah. This is kind of fun because everyone has a bit of a restriction. Um uh Neil Apolitan has to keep his tummy wet. Uh we have to be careful about that. Um, I guess Codan uh has to worry about the sun if you don't have sunglasses.

SPEAKER_04 11:45

That's what you said. He just goes by Dan. Yeah, no, that's good.

SPEAKER_05 11:48

But I think you can go by Dan. Dan. And then does the does the little crab, does BB does BB Great have any restrictions?

SPEAKER_00 11:59

No, because he can be tall if he needs to.

SPEAKER_08 12:01

It's the code switching, I guess. He can be tall if he needs to. So does his legs go? Just a little guy on really long, skinny legs.

SPEAKER_06 12:11

Yeah, he can be tall if he needs to. Okay, so he's got extendo legs. Yeah. Um that's fine.

SPEAKER_05 12:20

Code switching abilities and extendo legs. Kind of like Spectre Gadget, I guess. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 12:25

So is he is he robotic? Are the extendo legs natural?

SPEAKER_00 12:29

They're natural. They unfold like a hummingbird's tongue. They kind of go blal. They're all folded up inside of them, but then they go blal.

SPEAKER_08 12:38

Are they sort of like like um what would be the analogy? Like a folding cane, you know what I mean? So they're sort of like folded like on itself. So it's like, you know, left. Oh, yeah, because like that.

SPEAKER_04 12:48

Not like an asp. It doesn't telescope, telescope. It kind of unfolds. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 12:54

Yeah, like a folding cane. If I had to say it as anything.

SPEAKER_08 12:58

But one of them is a sword cane.

SPEAKER_00 13:00

Yeah. One of the legs is a sword cane that you can take out and fight with. Okay. How does that work?

SPEAKER_04 13:08

So it's just a casing around a sword? Like is the leg the sword?

SPEAKER_00 13:12

One of his legs, yes. He lost his leg, and he had it replaced with a sword, and then he had it sheathed in shell.

SPEAKER_04 13:20

Oh, somebody ate his leg for sure. We have to find that guy. He's at dinner. Oh.

SPEAKER_05 13:27

Yeah.

SPEAKER_08 13:27

He's at dinner, he's still eating. He's still eating it.

SPEAKER_05 13:30

So we kind of know how I think probably Neil Politan and BB Great know each other from the ocean. From the ocean, yeah. Um how how did I I I like I like you all being like a party. How uh does Kodan just uh you've met Kodan along the way?

SPEAKER_04 13:43

Uh we can get into this, but they were walking down a street and they walked into a foggy area, but it wasn't foggy. They were walking through me because I was missed, and then I formed into Godan and uh it's Kodan. And I said, um, but no, no, Kodan. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 14:04

I have I I would like to propose a tweak to all of this. What if we were three dogos?

SPEAKER_07 14:13

Just a quick little little just a little tweak to the left.

SPEAKER_06 14:16

I mean, like, it's kind of up to the group. I'm all is true.

SPEAKER_04 14:21

What if all is true? Okay, so you're a dog vampire. We're all these things that we are.

SPEAKER_00 14:27

I'm a very small, helpful dog.

SPEAKER_04 14:29

But we're in dog world.

SPEAKER_08 14:32

What if we're both what if we're both parties? What if we're two parties? We're dog party and we're also this other party.

SPEAKER_04 14:38

Oh, is that a DD thing? Can we be What if we're werewolves? Can we do two parties at the same time?

SPEAKER_08 14:43

Full moon, we turn into doggos.

SPEAKER_05 14:44

Okay, so we've got a lot of options on the table. Let's go through them.

SPEAKER_06 14:47

We could go a full switch and just take all the stuff we've done and just decide on what kind of doggos we are and do that.

SPEAKER_05 14:55

We could be we could be where doggos. So we're these these characters. I'm already a vampire. I'm just gonna have to say. Okay. But I could be both. Or we could do a mishmash where we take some of what we like about what we've created and put them into the doggos.

SPEAKER_00 15:12

Full doggos, lose everything.

SPEAKER_05 15:14

One full full doggo.

SPEAKER_04 15:15

I like the middle version. I like where we turn into doggos.

SPEAKER_05 15:18

Okay, you're the tiebreaker, uh, Kevin Lee.

SPEAKER_08 15:21

Okay, I like the third option just to be confusing. Okay, great. You know what?

SPEAKER_06 15:24

Okay, fine. Let's just do full doggos. Yes.

SPEAKER_07 15:30

We're just dogs. Fine. Great. What kind of dogs are you?

SPEAKER_08 15:36

And we can't talk English. We can't speak English. We have to bark and we have to smell each other's butts. Yeah. And we have to assert dominance.

SPEAKER_04 15:44

So what is um what are you what kind of breeds of dog are you all? Uh I am a great Dane. My name is Mr. Barkles. Um I uh I'm a vampire barbarian.

SPEAKER_05 15:59

Okay, fine.

SPEAKER_08 16:00

You can be a turn to smoke, I can turn into a bat, I can turn into a guy that's a barbarian. Yeah. Backwards engineer your guy.

SPEAKER_05 16:06

Uh what other kind of dogos do we have? Then fine.

SPEAKER_00 16:10

I'll be uh a basset hound. Okay. My name is um uh pervert. Pervert. Okay.

SPEAKER_09 16:21

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 16:22

Is it spelled the same or is it like a different spelling? Okay. You'd think it would be different, but it's the same. Okay. Um and uh and I'm I'm you know, I'm happy. I'm a happy guy. That's good. Happy guy.

SPEAKER_04 16:37

Uh and Kevin?

SPEAKER_08 16:40

Yeah, please. I'm I'm coming up.

SPEAKER_04 16:41

Shih Tzu, Labradoodle, uh uh a like uh like a hound or uh or uh or no we got a hound over there, or a a um what am I a uh ice dog? Oh Dalmatian's good. Gold Retriever. Gold Retriever, that's how it's going to be a good thing. Uh Cocker Spaniel.

SPEAKER_08 17:00

Oh yeah, I'll do that. I'm gonna be I'll be uh I'll be a cock I'll be a King Charles Cavalier Spaniel. Nice, I love Spaniels. And my name's gonna be Pretty Prince Bitch. Or pretty Prince Bitch. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 17:13

So you're obviously uh you're above royalty. You're of royalty.

SPEAKER_08 17:17

Yes, I'm of royalty.

SPEAKER_05 17:18

Yeah, okay. Great.

SPEAKER_08 17:20

PPP, I'm of royalty. I'm trying to escape the royalty, I'm trying to like get out and have an adventure, like sit our style. I'm like, oh my god, it's death. I gotta get out there and see the world.

SPEAKER_05 17:29

So you're three doggos. That's good. Um I guess let's just go around the horn and have a little introduction. Um it's kind of crazy we did all that character building just to throw them out at the last minute, but that's fine. We're gonna water mine. You know, the first idea is sometimes the best idea. And uh, you know, we we can it was maybe a good warm-up, and we can use some of what we did for that character stuff uh maybe down the line. But um why don't we why don't we hear a little introduction? And obviously uh we we're just getting into it, so these voices can evolve, you know what I mean? Like right off the bat, you know, your impulse might feel like, oh, I want to go this way with it, but maybe after you have some encounters, as we call it, in the DD world, uh with uh NPCs, as we say, non-player characters, you might be like, actually, I think my my voice might sound different, and that's totally fine. Uh you can also narrate what you do in the world until you find the voice. So instead of like saying like I pick up the whatever, you know, you can be like, my character does this, my character does that, and that's totally fine too. So why don't we just if you want to do a monologue right now to introduce yourself, that's fine.

SPEAKER_08 18:33

Monodogue.

SPEAKER_05 18:34

If you want to just kind of narrate a little bit, a dog along, if you will. Uh but let's just go around the horn and then we'll and then we'll get into it. We'll just see if we can play some DD. Okay? So here it is. Let's hear from the party. Anyone can start. Introduce yourself to the world and to each other.

SPEAKER_00 18:49

Okay, well, hello. My name is uh Pervert. I'm a basset hound. That's I did not pick my name, so don't put anything on me. It does not describe my character. I'm uh happy guy. Uh, all things considered. I would say that I'm on the unlucky side of life. I uh I was born to a large litter of dogs, and uh and they were all adopted except me, and I was finally just sort of got rid of. That's sad. They sort of just opened the cage and kind of shooed me away. Uh the breeder did. Were you a bit of a runt?

SPEAKER_08 19:30

That's perverted.

SPEAKER_00 19:31

Um yeah, I was uh I was the opposite of a runt. I was huge. A gunt.

SPEAKER_08 19:36

You're a brunt.

SPEAKER_00 19:38

Yeah, they called me either a brunt or a gunt. Uh they could never settle on it.

SPEAKER_09 19:44

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 19:45

Um I made my way into the world. I uh rode the rails for a little bit. I kept my spirits up. I set more than one I I started I would start those, I would start fires in a trash can, warm my hand, a little paws over it. Sing some doo-wop. And I was would of course sing some doo-wop.

SPEAKER_08 20:03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 20:04

Um I was married to a human woman, got married.

SPEAKER_06 20:08

Holy shit.

SPEAKER_01 20:09

You got killed.

SPEAKER_05 20:11

Can we just I just I just gotta interject here for a second? So when you doggos, are you all like walk? You're like you're like walking and talking like sort of like anthropomorphically. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_00 20:21

Like I want to say something. In this world, doggos are like people we walk, we talk, we interact. It's like Brian from Family Guy. My dog just so happened to be raised in a litter in a ken. But that's not standard.

SPEAKER_04 20:37

That's not standard. It's very weird at that to hear that.

SPEAKER_00 20:40

Honestly, yeah. Honestly, it's like if you were breeding children in a pen to be sold on the black market. It's not cool. Yeah, okay. Yeah, that's not weird. So when I escaped that, that was the greatest day of my life.

SPEAKER_04 20:53

It's like almost like it's perverted to do that.

SPEAKER_00 20:57

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 20:57

Yeah. This is what yeah.

SPEAKER_00 20:58

Yeah. It's the irony of your name. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 21:00

Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 21:01

What was the name of your human wife? Uh Gabrielle.

SPEAKER_07 21:06

Oh, that's nice.

SPEAKER_05 21:07

Nice. And things didn't work out. Uh uh, is that are you you're you is you're on the outs with her? Is she still with us?

SPEAKER_00 21:13

Well, she ended up uh she ended up uh perishing. That's a good backstory. That's good.

SPEAKER_05 21:20

I'm really sorry. That's good backstory. The stuff like that is good though. You know, you need stuff that your character can you know can drive your character, can motivate your character. Dark hit secrets in history, you know, that's good. That's good stuff.

SPEAKER_00 21:31

I was driving.

SPEAKER_04 21:33

It's your fault.

SPEAKER_00 21:35

Or are you just complicit? I was yeah, I was no, I was just driving on the other side of town. I thought you got the pair. So we have cars.

SPEAKER_05 21:46

No, no, no, no, no. We don't have cars. We don't have cars. There's whole.

SPEAKER_07 21:52

I have one, I have the one.

SPEAKER_00 21:55

I have one, and that's why I was so excited. I was spending all my time in the car, I wasn't noticing that. My wife was in need.

SPEAKER_08 22:01

I was so excited about it.

SPEAKER_05 22:03

Okay, so there's one car in this world. That's fine. And pervert has access to it. That's interesting. We'll find out why later. Okay, that's great. So, but normally it's mostly horses and carriages and wagons and stuff. So, okay, thank you, Pervert. That's wonderful.

SPEAKER_00 22:19

I just want to say one thing. Yeah. I'll find the person who did this to my wife. Whether if it takes me the rest of my life.

SPEAKER_08 22:28

If you have to drive forever.

SPEAKER_00 22:30

If I have to drive forever. I will find them. Okay. And I will ask them why. Why. Beautiful. That's exciting.

SPEAKER_04 22:41

That's a quest. Right, right.

SPEAKER_05 22:42

Yeah, that's good stuff. Do we want to hear from Pretty Prince Bitch or Mr. Barkle next?

SPEAKER_04 22:49

Barkle, you seem like you're ready to go. Okay, uh, so you find I am in a gothic castle. I'm a great I'm a great dane. I'm standing in front of a fireplace holding a candelabra, and I amble up to a throne-like chair. But I because I'm a great dane, I have bad knees and hips, so I'm like. And I sit down and I say, hello.

SPEAKER_03 23:19

I am Mr. Burkle. You can call me Godan. Oh no. I am a vampire dog.

SPEAKER_05 23:30

Who are you saying this to?

SPEAKER_04 23:31

You're just in your castle? It's like there's a camera. It's like I'm addressing it like a couple.

SPEAKER_09 23:36

There's a camera?

SPEAKER_04 23:39

She has a camera. A camera. I'm addressing it like it's like a television like addressing to the nation. Yeah. Yeah. You said we could narrate what happened. Yeah. I'm narrating my castle. So I come from a big castle. Bad knees, bad hips.

SPEAKER_03 23:58

I live alone, and I have lived alone for years. I thirst for human blood as a dog. Yes. Oh, my knees. And I get up. Oh, I'm a great Dane.

SPEAKER_02 24:17

And then I pee pee.

SPEAKER_06 24:20

Okay, great. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 24:22

Um so that's I I I guess like you you have a castle, so maybe you were like you lord it over um a village or something like that.

SPEAKER_04 24:30

Or uh Yeah, I was sort of a Dracula type, like I had, you know, and then I I at one point somebody comes and they and I because I want to buy a house in London. Or whatever fantasy. Yeah, I know the stairs. Yeah, there's no London. There's no London. There might be a version of London. Yeah. So there's a big city, and I'm and I'm interested in buying real estate there. So somebody's coming to finalise a sale and end up.

SPEAKER_05 24:54

Why don't we name that big city right now, uh guys? What's the big city? The big the big capital city in our world be called. Lon Dun. Dog? Dog Dun. Dog.

SPEAKER_02 25:05

Dog London. Okay. But it's pronounced Dug London.

SPEAKER_04 25:12

Yeah, Duglundon.

SPEAKER_02 25:13

Dug London.

SPEAKER_05 25:14

Okay, great. So there's obviously a lot of dogs in this world. It's a dog heavy world.

SPEAKER_04 25:18

So maybe, maybe, because so I'm interested in getting some real estate in Dug London. So maybe that's that's so maybe we meet in Dug London instead of from Dog Dog Sylvania where I'm from. Okay.

SPEAKER_05 25:31

We'll be meeting in a I've created a little village that we'll be meeting in, but we'll get to Doug London.

SPEAKER_04 25:36

Because my name is Kodan slash Mr. Barkley, you can call me a great Dan instead of a great dane.

SPEAKER_05 25:41

Oh. Great. That's interesting. And now finally, let's hear a little bit from um uh excuse me, um, what was it? Oh yeah, pretty Prince Bitch.

SPEAKER_08 25:51

That's right. Um, so yeah, a pretty Prince Bitch. Um so uh since we're from Dog London, I'm coming from the royal family. Oh wow uh I come from a long line of um of pretty Prince Bitches and different uh royals. Uh I grew up in the lap of luxury, literally. And uh nice wealthy. Thank you. I'm used to having things handed to me. Uh you know, I grew up with a silver bone in uh in my mouth and uh and uh a stick that I go play fetch with up my ass. Um so I'm very uptight. Trying all the metaphors out. Oh, I see, I see. Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 26:31

Stick up here?

SPEAKER_08 26:32

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, um, but uh yeah, so I'm very uptight. I haven't seen much of the world, but I think I know everything. But you know, I I I realize that I haven't, you know. I once I looked I looked beyond the castle walls and I saw a dead, a dead dog in the street. Uh I actually saw a dead woman in the street, Gabrielle. I saw her and it it shocked me.

SPEAKER_04 26:53

Oh no, you saw Gabrielle?

SPEAKER_08 26:54

Well, I saw her dead in the street, and I was like, what is that? Death. I need to see the world. I need to see more of these dead bodies are so hot. So I decided to get out in the world and be a disgusting weird royal pervert.

SPEAKER_05 27:06

Are you in disguise, pretty Prince Pitch? Yes, so no one knows yet. It's kind of like one of those situations.

SPEAKER_08 27:14

Um, but I've done I've I've since gone out in the world and I've ducked my uh handler, like my my maid or whatever, my uh butlery person, my dog walker.

SPEAKER_09 27:25

Okay.

SPEAKER_08 27:26

Uh named Jim. Jim Jimmy. Okay, Jimmy Jimmy, yeah. Jim Jimmy. I ducked him and now I'm lost in the city. And uh and I meet I meet my friends here and we make a party. But my drive is to see the world, see more dead bodies that I think are hot. I want to find out how Gabrielle was made because I'm just like, what an exquisite creature. I think I'm slowly gonna become like Jack the Ripper. Like, I'm slowly gonna become a serial killer. Okay, you've got dark tendencies. I guess that's what's happening.

SPEAKER_05 27:59

So it sounds like in this world we're creating together that maybe doggos are the dominant uh species. Like, are there more doggos than humans and dwarves and elves?

SPEAKER_04 28:09

Yeah, dog, it seems like doggos are the humans. Like doggos walk and talk. You know, that's called Dog London.

SPEAKER_08 28:17

Cars, they have cameras. Yeah, they have one car, one camera. Pretty Prince Bitch has an iPod. Okay. So you all get one thing.

SPEAKER_05 28:24

We all get a thing, yeah. Fine, you all get a anecronistic. I would like it to be maybe their magical versions of these things we're describing, you know what I mean? So maybe it's like your iPod is like made of twigs, and it's P3 says for magical P3. Okay, magical P3. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 28:40

And my the um pervert's car, the windows can roll down without you winding anything. You just push this magical button and adjust it. You push a magical button. And you can start the car without even inserting a key. Wow. Holy shit. Right.

SPEAKER_05 28:58

Imagine a world. And what do you have? You have a camera.

SPEAKER_04 29:01

I have a camera that transmits an image of me whenever I want to any mirror in the world. Oh, nice.

SPEAKER_05 29:08

Okay. Now we're put now we're playing D. That's good.

SPEAKER_00 29:11

That's D D.

SPEAKER_05 29:12

That's good. Okay. Now one l one last thing, and then we'll get into it. You all should have a weapon.

SPEAKER_04 29:18

Okay. Sorry.

SPEAKER_08 29:19

All right.

SPEAKER_05 29:20

Yeah, that is funny.

SPEAKER_08 29:21

But so when you when it projects your image to the mirror, you can't be seen in it, so like nothing happens in the mirror and there's no sound?

SPEAKER_04 29:28

No, no. I can be seen in the mirror. I just can't see myself.

SPEAKER_05 29:32

Yeah. Okay. Okay, great. Um everyone should choose a weapon, and then we'll get into it. You should have a weapon that you use for defense. Uh traditionally in DD it's like knives, swords, bows, staffs. So uh what is what do all you have? And you can I'm gonna let you just select any weapon that you comes to mind and then we'll just put that in a couple of things.

SPEAKER_04 29:52

Conan style broadsword. So you have a broadsword? Okay, great.

SPEAKER_08 29:57

Uh cannon, cannon and cannonball. One cannonball.

SPEAKER_00 30:04

One shot. A cannonball on like a chain, like uh crank it back. Yeah, you can pull it back. Oh, that's good.

SPEAKER_05 30:13

Is it uh is it little or big?

SPEAKER_08 30:15

It uh it's like medium size. Medium size. It's like it's like on a like a little like it's almost like I have to carry a wheelbarrow barrel around.

SPEAKER_05 30:22

Okay, yeah. So that'll be that will inhibit you obviously sneaking around.

SPEAKER_08 30:27

But it also has a cloak on it. It looks like I have like I'm selling things on a cart.

SPEAKER_05 30:30

Okay. Okay, great.

SPEAKER_04 30:34

The lights a wick shoots it, but it's attached to a chain. Oh god. And so you don't lose the ball.

SPEAKER_00 30:43

Okay, and pervert. Uh bear spray.

unknown 30:47

Nice. Okay.

SPEAKER_00 30:49

So there are bears in this world.

SPEAKER_05 30:50

Yeah, so I yeah, I guess it's kind of leaning into sort of a furry situation. Oh no.

SPEAKER_08 30:59

So the race of bears is a problem, and you have specific spray for that. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 31:03

So it's not it's not gonna be an aerosol can, it's gonna be like some kind of little magical carton that sprays uh a spray, like mace or something like that. But we can refer to it as bear spray uh for for.

SPEAKER_00 31:15

It's a carton?

SPEAKER_05 31:16

Yeah, it's like a little uh cylinder. So uh but it mat and it magically sprays something. Just to keep it kind of in the world, you know, in the fantasy world. Yeah. So it's a it's an enchanted, it's an enchanted cylinder.

SPEAKER_00 31:31

Sounds like you're describing spray. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 31:40

It's it's it's filled with the it's a pressurized filled with the gas.

SPEAKER_00 31:44

Through the power, through mere touch. The spray could come out. A mist emerges incapacitating one's enemies.

SPEAKER_05 31:53

Actually, which is interesting because if you are a vampire, you could maybe put uh um Mr. Barkle into the I could be put into the spray and spray into the spray. Yeah. You could maybe spray him through small spaces if you ever get into uh, you know, a tungent crawl. Yeah. Wow. Okay, so this is a great we have our party. Good job. Okay, you know, like we've created characters, we have weapons, and now we're gonna get into the little world I've set up for you. Okay, and so obviously we know that we're playing D. Now we're about to play DD. So get your dice rollers ready, whatever. I'm gonna set the scene a little bit. Okay, nothing. Didn't ask you to roll yet, but that's good that you know how. Okay. I guess, yeah. And pervert, you want to roll? No. Okay. I understand the rules. Yeah, okay, great, great. So uh here we go. Um we're gonna take you to the town of Brackenridge, okay? The town of Brackenridge. And Brackenridge is. By foot or by train? By car. Or by car. By car, it's about it's about a 30-minute drive.

SPEAKER_06 33:02

Okay.

SPEAKER_08 33:03

Or for coach and uh by cloud. Like how fast can you travel by cloud?

SPEAKER_05 33:06

Cloud would be about I would say cloud is about an hour.

SPEAKER_00 33:10

Wait a second. Wait a second. It's two hours by foot, half an hour by car. This must be a winding road.

SPEAKER_05 33:20

The roads probably aren't great. It isn't really built, it's really windy. It goes through some very, very dangerous sections, you know, your swamps, your deserts, a lot of different bioes.

SPEAKER_08 33:35

Can I ask a question? What it also depends on like what level of car are we talking about? Are we talking about like a Model T or are we talking about like a 2026 like Range Rover, like a Defender sport? Perfect.

SPEAKER_00 33:47

Describe your car. It's a 94 Ford Bronco white. It can handle some shit. Okay. It's seen some shit. So you have OJ's car. Okay. OJ's escape vehicle. You have OJ's car. I bought it, it didn't come cheap. Yeah. Full of gloves. Okay.

SPEAKER_05 34:09

So yes. So Brackenridge, it's outside of Dog London. You know, maybe we'll get to is it Dog London or Doug London? Doug London. Doug London. Um, so it's uh it's it's a it once it was a once bustling town, okay? You back in the day, caravans used to pass through all the time. The road was busy with travelers and traders, and now that road kind of bends away from Brackeridge to like a different thoroughfare. It's like it's seen its heyday, trade has slowed down, and it's a shadow of what it used to be, okay? It sits in a shallow valley, hemmed in by dark woods to the north and low hills to the south. Um the well at the center of town is old and deep and brings up only dirty water. Oh, a lot of the young people have left for bigger towns, you know what I mean? Everyone keeps their doors unlocked, but not out of trust, but just out of like resignation, you know. People kind of giving up. Right?

SPEAKER_00 35:04

Is it part of the rules that you have to sort of fondle your own nipples while you're describing this scene? Yeah, pretty horned up talking about this.

SPEAKER_07 35:14

You're horned up. You're horned up. Okay, like valleys to the south. Yeah. Only bad water.

SPEAKER_04 35:26

Oh, water in the naughty water.

SPEAKER_00 35:30

Water's not water's filthy.

SPEAKER_05 35:35

Just trying to set the scene. Okay. Good. I'll try to be less horny. I'll try to be less horny.

SPEAKER_00 35:40

Water in the well is recently single. Naughty, dirty water.

SPEAKER_08 35:48

Can I make it wet?

SPEAKER_00 35:50

Be a shame if someone were some were to get on those seeds and in that soil.

SPEAKER_05 35:58

Okay. Okay, so you're gonna find yourselves in the middle of town, there's a tavern called the Bent Tankard, which I guess now it sounds a bit horny. I suppose. Okay.

SPEAKER_06 36:12

And it's at the center of the town.

SPEAKER_08 36:15

The curved to the right keg of beer.

SPEAKER_00 36:19

The rock hard pint.

SPEAKER_05 36:24

And the sign on it is actually does have a bend in it. It's been like impacted a long time ago. So that's kind of what how it got its name. I think maybe it used to be called something else. The tankard, probably. Yeah, now it's the bent tank. Straight tankard. Okay. And it's your standard fantasy tavern, you know what I mean? Like smoke-filled air, it's crowded, ale, you know what I mean? A big long bar. Things are scratched into the tables and stuff, like messages, I guess, horny notes. Yeah. No, just just stuff. Just like, you know, stuff. Stuff's been scratched. It's, you know, there's a big fire crackling with a hearth. There's always something roasting on it, pots hanging over the fire, bubbling. You know, it's welcoming, but it's also maybe there's lots of uh maybe it feels a little a little shady. Kind of like where Frodo, you know, where he met the the what's his name in uh Lord of the Rings. Strider, the the yeah.

SPEAKER_08 37:16

The what's the clientele like? Is it all dogs? Is it uh what's like the Well, there's one guy smoking a pipe in the corner.

SPEAKER_05 37:22

I guess it's majority doggos, based on our world.

SPEAKER_00 37:25

What's the ratio?

SPEAKER_04 37:29

And is it like is there owl people, rat people, dog people? How many bears are there?

SPEAKER_05 37:35

So no bears, no bears.

SPEAKER_08 37:37

How many ninja turtles are there?

SPEAKER_05 37:38

Yeah, there's four ninja turtles. Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_08 37:42

How many Transformers are there? How many Ninja Turtles? So there's four Ninja Turtles.

SPEAKER_00 37:46

Uh approximately how many Japanese rats would you say are in the car?

SPEAKER_05 37:53

Yeah. So just four Ninja Turtles, mostly doggos, okay, and then a smattering of elves and dwarves.

SPEAKER_04 38:01

I mean, I guess for a dying like town, this is rammed tavern with a lot of people. Yeah. Or a lot of anaphok.

SPEAKER_05 38:10

Yeah, I guess you're right. I guess maybe maybe we'll make it a little less crowded. That's a good case. Oh, you said what you said. Okay, fine. I took my hands off the chess piece. It's packed. It's packed. The town is dying, but the tavern is packed because it's a bit of a it's a dive. People like to go. It's a dive bar that people like to go to.

SPEAKER_00 38:29

It's a dive bar.

SPEAKER_05 38:31

It's a rammed dive bar.

SPEAKER_08 38:32

It's also like Roadhouse. There's like a band, but they're behind a chain like fence. People are throwing bottles at it, like smashing and stuff. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 38:39

Yeah, it's got that vibe too. Throw grips going on. Okay. And behind the bar is uh is the is the tavern keeper, uh, a woman named Marta. I have to go down here to uh to my notes, sorry.

SPEAKER_08 38:53

Oh pervert. This is in your thing. Yeah, pervert.

SPEAKER_05 38:56

Pervert's on the prowl.

SPEAKER_08 38:58

Pervert's ready to get back in the room. Rebounding. Marta hard. Marta Fibbles a little mist.

SPEAKER_05 39:06

Marta Fibbles. Marta Fibbles is behind the bar. The tavern keeper and the owner. If it was a dog, it'd be Marta Kibbles. Sorry. And then you notice in the corner, you do notice in the corner, uh I I guess are you well I have a question for you all. You don't live here. You're on the road, right? You're traveling, you're just on your way for adventure. You're on your way to dog lunch.

SPEAKER_08 39:27

Have we met already now? Are we already meeting? Are we meeting here?

SPEAKER_05 39:31

What's that's a I'm I'm up for either. I I always say it's better that you know each other beforehand. Like you're all you're already know each other, so you don't have to like we do this whole like pro pronounced like sort of improv about how you meet. But I'm also open if you want to meet here and become a group. I'm I'm fine for whatever you guys feel.

SPEAKER_00 39:46

Well, it's a packed tavern, so perhaps we'd all end up at the same table just out of necessity.

SPEAKER_04 39:52

Nice. And we have we have to find some sort of common goal to make us a party, right? Okay, okay. I love this.

SPEAKER_05 39:58

So okay, Marta says, Rot this way, I've got one table left. Do you want sitting together?

SPEAKER_04 40:04

I'm it just so you know, I'm missed during this time. Because that's how I travel mostly.

SPEAKER_00 40:09

Here's what Pervert says to Marta. Um English, please?

SPEAKER_05 40:17

Uh she sort of stares you up and down and spits on the floor in kind of like like anger, and then points to the table and walks away to to serve some other customers. So you all are all sit down at the table and talk to each other.

SPEAKER_04 40:30

Well, I swirl like my mist swirls and then like a tornado and then f and then solids up into uh Mr. Barkles. Whose name is Mr. Barkles.

SPEAKER_08 40:41

I don't know. Never and I I'm pushing people out of the way to make room for my canon. I'm like, excuse me, pardon me.

SPEAKER_00 40:47

Yeah.

SPEAKER_08 40:47

Uh just trying to get my canon some room here.

SPEAKER_00 40:49

And then I see uh uh Pervert sees the missed man, uh the vampire dog sort of assemble as a inform next to him, and he goes, What an entrance.

SPEAKER_08 41:04

And I said, What did I missed?

SPEAKER_00 41:07

And then and then Pervert says, Okay, I think we're all gonna be friends. I agree.

SPEAKER_05 41:14

I think we are a party. Marta comes back three ales. Marta is the tavern. No, I said I said, ooh, it's Marta. Oh, excuse me. I thought he said, Who's Marta? I apologize, I apologize. And says we all go, Marta! Oi, this is from the gentleman in the corner. Sir Eric, he is. He sent it over, he sends it over, he likes to cut yo jib. And you look to the corner and you see a regal but older man. His name is Sir Eric, and he sits and he's and he and he he um he uh he he sort of gestures with his with his cup.

SPEAKER_08 41:49

Jerking off?

SPEAKER_05 41:50

No, no, he's oh he do a cheer. He gives us a little cheer.

SPEAKER_00 41:55

Sir Eric's rubbing his cuff up and down and licking his lips at all of us.

SPEAKER_02 42:01

So I I go, I mean, I don't think I'm interested in Sir Eric's advances.

SPEAKER_00 42:07

Okay, so here's what Sir Pervert does. I I dump out the drink. I'm like, there's no way we're trusting this. Yeah. In this day and age, there's no way.

SPEAKER_08 42:20

I go, yeah, I go, Marta, we need if we get drinks, you need to pull them right in front of us. We need to see it happen.

SPEAKER_02 42:26

I don't want to be drugged by this pervert. Excuse me, pervert. I didn't mean to call him a pervert, but he could be a pervert, pervert. It's okay.

SPEAKER_08 42:35

Why don't you send him three drug drinks from us? Thank you very much.

SPEAKER_00 42:38

Yeah, Marta, if you could send him three drinks from us and put drugs in them. Thank you. Put it on my tab.

SPEAKER_05 42:46

I don't really have any drugs myself, but I can bring you free free drinks and you can decide what you want to do with them, and then I can take them over.

SPEAKER_00 42:55

Marta, we said what we said. Side away.

SPEAKER_08 43:00

Change your mind, and I take out I take out like a like a shiny, like royal like gold piece. It's like never been never seen in the hands of any.

SPEAKER_05 43:08

Oh wow. Okay, that's it. So you hu huge. Okay, fine. Marta goes, all right. Um, you know, I'll I'm gonna I what I'll do is I'll take I'll take the drinks. So Marta's gonna do this because it's a lot of money. Um but I'm gonna roll. I'm gonna roll to see how effective the drugs are. So she's also like even what kind of thing. Yeah, she's gonna she I mean she's kind of improvising, right? Like she's gonna do what you say because of the gold, but like what well, how much what she has behind the counter. What what actually it'd be more fun if you guys roll, okay? Okay. Why don't you roll? Someone give me a roll, and and depend depending on how high it is, based on the difficulty check, I'll decide what kind of uh drugs and how how how successful it's oh that's fun.

SPEAKER_00 43:52

All right, I'll work for you guys. I'll roll a 20 here cider here. Okay. So um, oh, I got a twenty. Oh, she's got 20. Natural 20.

SPEAKER_08 44:02

Sir, sir, whatever.

SPEAKER_06 44:04

Okay, okay.

SPEAKER_05 44:05

So yeah, it works out perfectly. Uh Marta goes behind the counter, and I guess she's got like, I don't know, some like kind of hemlocky type thing that is completely tasteless.

SPEAKER_06 44:18

Oh, but he's probably gonna die. No, I don't think it's gonna die. Let's see. Takes three drinks over. Sir Eric goes gives you a thumbs up, drinks two of the drinks.

SPEAKER_05 44:31

And slumps over immediately, either unconscious or clinging to life.

SPEAKER_00 44:37

Well, here's what Burbert says: carisis averted. Good job.

SPEAKER_08 44:42

Yeah, I go. I do not like to meet new people. Thank you. Listen. Okay.

SPEAKER_05 44:46

Gentle dogs. I have a hunger for blood. I need to do it. I will just say that Sir Eric was kind of like the whole hook into the adventure I had planned, and you've knocked him out with your first sort of uh move. So um I just want to put that out there. Obviously, you can do whatever you want. This is DD, you can take any direction, anything you want. So what we know is you've just met, you're hitting it off pretty well. You dumped out drinks that were sent over to you by Sir Eric. You then convinced through bribery Marta to drug Sir Eric, who just like accepted your goodwill and is now just unconscious. So that's where we are, and you're in the smoke. So there you're in the you're in the bent tanker.

SPEAKER_04 45:32

I my character needs to feed on blood. Um so I'm wondering if I could follow someone into the bathroom to uh to to drink.

SPEAKER_00 45:42

Could we could we what if he dragged the unconscious Sir Eric into the bathroom and fed on him?

SPEAKER_08 45:48

Okay, great. Uh do you maybe want to if he does do that, will he also pass out because he's drinking drug blood?

SPEAKER_05 45:55

Oh, really good. I think that'll be a that'll that'll be all part of it. Why don't you tell your friends what you need, um, Mr. Barkle, and uh sort of see what happens here. I need to feed on blood.

SPEAKER_03 46:07

The blood of a human. I am a vampire.

SPEAKER_00 46:11

What should I do? Here's what Pervert says to that. Okay. Uh he calls out to Marta and he says, Yeah, I think I'll get that check over here. We already paid with a big shirt.

SPEAKER_08 46:26

And then it's always just like a um a dudely dude.

SPEAKER_00 46:29

Yeah, you know what?

SPEAKER_02 46:31

I think I'll get that check over here. Oh, young Pervert, you have nothing to worry about. I only drink the blood of humans, not doggos.

SPEAKER_00 46:40

Okay. And then I then Pervert says to Marta, you know what? Keep that tab open.

SPEAKER_05 46:48

I heard none of that, but uh so far away and you're saying it so quietly.

SPEAKER_08 46:54

To like the back of somebody right like a ninja turtle right behind you. But they just hear bark bark bark bark bark bark.

SPEAKER_04 46:59

Yeah, are we speaking dog to each other, or do we or is it just a common thing?

SPEAKER_05 47:02

Great question. You obviously can speak both English, but you also can if you want to speak doggo to each other and sort of have private conversations, obviously. Yeah. So there's a language there. Uh, Prince, what do you think of uh this uh offer to uh yeah, since I'm sort of a little bit um you know privilege or whatever.

SPEAKER_08 47:21

I'm willing to help. I'm sort of like, okay, yeah, this sounds like a good experience. I want to try this. So I use a bike lock to lock my uh canon to the table. Nice. And then I uh and then I'm like, let's get let's go, let's try this out.

SPEAKER_05 47:32

Okay, so you've all agreed to try to drag Sir Eric's either corpse or like a unconscious body.

SPEAKER_02 47:40

It'll have gone bad and I won't feed.

SPEAKER_05 47:42

So you're gonna have to figure out a way, because that's gonna people are gonna notice. Like, no one knows really knows there's a lot of drunk people in this bar, but like, you know, like you're you're trying to drag them into the restrooms, right? So I feel like you need to figure out a way. How are you gonna do this without drawing too much attention to yourselves, or are you just gonna do it?

SPEAKER_08 47:59

I think we go over and pretend like we're talking to them, we're like, oh, look at you, you're so drunk. You gotta go to the bathroom.

SPEAKER_04 48:06

Yeah, because we've it people watching might have seen that there's been a little bit of a rapport established with the winking and the rubbing of the glass.

SPEAKER_00 48:13

What's this guy's name again? Sir Eric. Okay, great. Yeah. We'll do a little bit of a weekend uh weekend of Bernie's Bernie's.

SPEAKER_05 48:21

Yeah, great. So I think once someone has to roll on this, so that's your idea. You're gonna go.

SPEAKER_08 48:26

Conan has um sunglasses, so you're gonna put that on him.

SPEAKER_05 48:28

Oh yeah, I'll take my sunglasses and put them on.

SPEAKER_04 48:30

Well, so that's all part of the roll, right?

SPEAKER_05 48:32

Yeah, this is so I I think this is a pretty good idea. It's gonna be a pretty easy roll. Like you don't have to roll that high to make it happen. But if you roll like five or under, it's gonna go completely haywire, basically. So see what happens here. Okay, give us a roll.

SPEAKER_04 48:46

Here we go. First roll of the day for me.

SPEAKER_05 48:48

Five. Five. Wow. Okay, so you're just so you just this goes this is go it goes very poorly. So let's um showing us the five. Yeah. So you go over there. Um you like it's a situation where like I don't know, you like blow your cover immediately. So I think like you go over there and try to have a conversation and pretend like you know and put the sunglasses on them and try to get them up and go to the bathroom, but um I uh it goes awry.

SPEAKER_08 49:17

So I like trip, I trip and I like hit the table with my chest and it bumps into Sir Eric and he like flops out of his chair, like clearly, like out of it. I'm like and I make this really loud noise that like causes people to look over.

SPEAKER_00 49:29

Yeah, okay, good. Yeah, and Sir Eric's head hits the stone ground really hard, and it goes, there's like a splat and a crunch, and uh and then blood pools out from his head, like he starts to drool out of my great Dane jowls because I see the blood.

SPEAKER_08 49:48

And he shits so hard. He's like, So what does his head pops? It goes and all the shit comes flying out of his butt so much that he slides a foot and a half.

SPEAKER_04 49:55

He's like through the blood of his head.

SPEAKER_00 49:58

Pervert sticks his nose really close to the shit and he goes, Yep, that's shit.

SPEAKER_04 50:04

And then I I get really close to the blood and start lapping it up because it's it came from a technically a live person who's now the life is draining. So I start lapping up the blood.

SPEAKER_08 50:13

And I go, Pervert, I got this one. Uh clean up on aisle head. And I go, we don't need a mup in a bucket.

SPEAKER_00 50:21

Okay. And then Pervert says this to the crowd. He says this to the crowd. He's got a microphone. Is there an audience?

SPEAKER_05 50:30

Yeah, for sure there is. Everyone's watching.

SPEAKER_00 50:32

Tell me there's no poo vampires in here. There are. You guys are in for a field day.

SPEAKER_04 50:43

Yeah. Are there any poo vampires? Can we roll to see if there's a poo vampire in the Okay, yeah. Someone roll to see if there's a Pooh vampire.

SPEAKER_05 50:51

You gotta roll. Here we go. But it's gonna be you have to get you have to get like 18, 19, or 20. Okay, I didn't know that, so I'm gonna roll again.

SPEAKER_00 50:58

Yeah. I didn't know that.

SPEAKER_04 51:00

16. No poo vampire. No poo vampires. There's no free.

SPEAKER_00 51:02

Well, what happens if it's a 16 and it's close?

SPEAKER_04 51:05

That's pretty close.

SPEAKER_00 51:06

Okay, how about this?

SPEAKER_05 51:07

There's a poo vampire. No fecal freaks. Maybe there's a piss vampire who's like, dang it. There's a there's a poo vampire apprentice. Uh who's trying to become a poo vampire. Yeah, familiar. Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 51:20

Well he goes like this. I'll be right back.

SPEAKER_00 51:24

Then he goes, he gets on his phone and he calls his master and he goes, are those phones?

SPEAKER_01 51:28

Those phones.

SPEAKER_05 51:31

Oh no. Ryan froze out of frustration. Okay, so yeah. So that's happening, that's happening, that's happening. Um so the the crowd is listening to you, and someone the the Pooh vampire apprentice has run off to find his master, and then uh someone else runs off to like, I better tell Sergeant Wren, the watch will be in here in a minute. You're a murderous, you all are. Oh, so he runs off out the door.

SPEAKER_04 51:53

I turn into mist and I chase after him because that guy's gotta go down before he walks down.

SPEAKER_08 51:58

I go and I unlock my uh cannon and I start asking people to move out of the way and I start wheeling it after him.

SPEAKER_05 52:04

Okay, so yeah, you uh you've you unlock your can cannon successfully. Um I guess um Mr. Barkle, so you missed, you catch him at the door. What do you do? You unmissed at the door. I unmissed at the door, and I say, going somewhere. He pushes past you and gets up the door. Oh, I guess you are. I go, my knee.

SPEAKER_03 52:22

I have bad knees.

SPEAKER_05 52:25

Look, I turn into a bad battery. I guess you you can turn into a bad. I guess um, Prince, you have one shot. I'll give you one shot with the cannon to see if you can catch him.

SPEAKER_08 52:33

Okay, so I are we outside right now. Am I shooting?

SPEAKER_05 52:35

No, you're inside. You'll be firing your cannon inside towards the door. Towards the door where he's just pushed past me.

SPEAKER_00 52:42

That's a really good quest so far. Yeah.

SPEAKER_08 52:45

Okay. Yeah, I gotta shoot. I'm saying, and I'm saying, I like the way I'm going, I'm gonna shoot, I'm gonna shoot.

SPEAKER_05 52:51

I roll the 15. You roll the 15? Okay, so yeah, you get him. You get him. You also explode the front part of the of the of the bent tanker.

SPEAKER_08 53:01

So like I hit him so hard he explodes through the front of the tavern.

SPEAKER_00 53:05

What if he shoots he shoots it and then the sign unbends?

SPEAKER_08 53:09

Yeah. It goes like boonk back straight again.

SPEAKER_05 53:12

So the sign unbends, the front part of the tank is completely blown off, the man is dead, he's disintegrated. Yeah, he's like powdered. And everyone is in shock. They're in shock. They've just they've just seen nothing to see. Yeah.

SPEAKER_08 53:27

And I'm just cranking back the chain again. I'm getting the ball back.

SPEAKER_05 53:31

And you do hear now, you do you hear like the sound of like uh like horses being mounted, shouts from the other side of town. People inside are just like flabbergasted, covered in soot, and like you know when people are physically in shock, like they can't even speak. Yeah. Okay, and so what do you do?

SPEAKER_00 53:47

I'm gonna kill myself.

SPEAKER_05 53:50

No, no, that's my one rule.

SPEAKER_08 53:57

Yeah, I put my can I put my cannon in my mouth.

SPEAKER_00 54:00

Uh I I guess what we gotta we gotta freaking get out of here. Yeah, we gotta high tail it.

SPEAKER_02 54:08

Does anybody have the car? The one car.

SPEAKER_00 54:12

No, my car's across town. Oh, your shop? Way across town.

unknown 54:18

Damn.

SPEAKER_00 54:19

Because I was gonna get I was gonna get drunk tonight, so I was gonna D D. I can call Uber.

unknown 54:24

D D.

SPEAKER_00 54:25

Wait, D D.

SPEAKER_02 54:27

That's really good of you to consider not not driving. Let's just run. I'll turn to mist.

SPEAKER_08 54:33

I'll ride my cannon. So I like turn it backwards and I fire it and I let it like ride down the street.

SPEAKER_00 54:38

That's good. I try to chase after them, but I slip in the blood and poo, and I um then I wallow. I wallow in it. I find uh I find a gun on the ground.

SPEAKER_05 54:49

No, there's no gun. There's no gun on the ground. But I like I like Kevin's idea. I like so like why don't you all get on the cannon, you're gonna fire it and see if you can and shoot yourself across town to the car.

SPEAKER_08 55:00

Um and because I'm not putting the cannonball in, I'm just firing gunpowder charges for the momentum.

SPEAKER_05 55:05

And I think this is where we'll this is this is a nice little natural leaving point. You'll either get to the car or you won't be able to get to the car, and I feel like that's a nice place to sort of like you'll either be injured. Captured or cat and captured, exactly, or you'll be at the car ready to hightail it out of there, I guess, trying to get to the glundon.

SPEAKER_08 55:24

Or pervert will have successfully committed suicide by hanging himself on a block of ice and no one will know how it happened.

SPEAKER_04 55:33

Yeah. Okay, so we sit on the cannon. Yeah, who wants to roll?

SPEAKER_08 55:37

So like straddling the cannon. Okay, so I roll. Okay.

SPEAKER_05 55:39

Yeah. Fourteen. Fourteen. Okay. Yeah. You do successfully blast yourself over there, but you're all you all take one injury, though. So just let me know what what uh one injury you're gonna be dealing with. Uh it's not life-threatening. Okay. You know what I mean? It could be a broken this, it could be a scarred that, it could be whatever, but like it wasn't, it was like not a on a smooth ride. You hit a bunch of debris as you land, or you know what I mean? Like you barely hang on and you land roughly. So what happens?

SPEAKER_04 56:05

My already kind of bad hips and knees take a take a bit more of a of a of a bump. So now they're really bad.

SPEAKER_01 56:12

Oh, my bad hips.

SPEAKER_08 56:14

I singe my beautiful uh thick curling locks on my big thick ears. I s I singe them and they they burn a little bit. Um my hearing. Uh I think I get ringing in my ears, I get tinnitus.

SPEAKER_00 56:26

I get smoked in the balls and uh and I go I go like this.

SPEAKER_08 56:31

You sat with your like with your balls right on the hole.

SPEAKER_00 56:34

And I I go cross-eyed and I say and I say, um, okay, next time I drive.

SPEAKER_05 56:49

Okay, you know what? And that's a nice ending point. What will happen next time? Obviously, we're gonna be on the run. The watch, Sir Wren and the watch are gonna be on your tail. You've blown up the bent tanker, but unbent the time. Sir Eric, who had like the reams of information of the adventure I wanted you to do, is is dead. He had a chance to live. He had a chance to live, but no, then he hit his head really hard as he tried to weaken and Bernie's himself.

SPEAKER_08 57:18

I think his head was like soft, like an old canopy.

SPEAKER_05 57:21

Yeah, it really exploded on the crack. It really exploded. Any poo. It was very violent, and who knows, there could have been some other collateral damage. We might run into more poo vampires down the road.

SPEAKER_08 57:31

But he might have been sabotaged. There might have been something going on with him.

SPEAKER_05 57:34

There is maybe a poo vampire also on your trail. Which is great, uh, which is fine. And and you you've all kind of met at the which is nice. You've met each other, and now you're in the fucking white Bronco, and you're high tailing the bug run.

SPEAKER_00 57:51

Oh, we made it to the Bronco. Yeah, you made it all the way to the Bronx.

SPEAKER_05 57:56

You're being chased by police in a white Bronco. This was a great session 0.5, as we call it in DD. We built our characters, then we threw them away and just became doggos.

SPEAKER_00 58:07

Um It's that classic.

SPEAKER_05 58:10

That's standard. That's standard. That's kind of standard, you know. I just like to say, yes, as a as a as a dungeon master, and you know, I think you guys did a really good job in in some capacities as well. Um, you know, maybe next time we meet, I'll put a little bit more uh restrictions on it, but we we've built the world successfully, we kind of know where we are and we know what we're driving at, and and now what so it's a cool hook, which we found, which wasn't what I wanted, but the what what we found is that you're now all on the run together, which is which is great, I think.

SPEAKER_04 58:38

Yeah, kind of a D adventure. Like the adventure is coming to us. Cool.

SPEAKER_05 58:44

Okay, great. Did you guys have a good time?

SPEAKER_04 58:46

Yeah, yeah. I love I think I know how to play D D now, which is awesome. Yeah, yeah. It's a no from saying no.

SPEAKER_00 58:55

Yeah. I wanted us to be just dogs hanging out.

SPEAKER_07 58:59

Yeah, that's why we're trying to commit suicide and we're like check fleas like to try to get out of there.

SPEAKER_04 59:06

Maybe I should drive next time.

SPEAKER_08 59:08

I think maybe I'm gonna leave the riverside.

SPEAKER_00 59:12

I think next time we're gonna have to have a stronger hand with you, Ryan. Okay, that's fair.

SPEAKER_01 59:19

I think we were a bit railroaded, a little bit too much railroaded by the DM.

SPEAKER_05 59:23

That's a fair, that's a fair note. Yeah. Um, I'll take that. But the night the next session we will have a nice long car ride. It is half hour by car to Doug London, so maybe there can be just a nice bit of a hangout time for them for the dog.

SPEAKER_04 59:38

Well, we might come in contact with bandits on the road who try to rob us.

SPEAKER_05 59:43

Okay. Thanks for tuning in, everyone. Uh I hope you've enjoyed the adventure, and we're gonna get episode two next time.