Nightmare Party - The Road to Dog London

Our heroes attempt an escape.

Transcript

SPEAKER_07 0:14

Hey, welcome back everyone. I'm so excited you're joining us again. I'm back with Mark, Mark, and Kevin, and myself, DM Ryan, and we're gonna do another session, another episode, another deep dive into our fantasy world DD game that we're playing that I've convinced these guys to play. Last week, our first session was pretty cool. There were some peaks and valleys, you know, like we got through a lot of interesting sort of What were the valleys? Uh the the Well we can go through the valleys and the city. Yeah, what were the peaks? The peaks, some of the really good questions all around. Uh we can get into that when we do a little bit of a recap, but uh just for the people listening, what this is is we're doing DD, but it's a pared-down version of DD, so not all the rules, but we're still rolling dice, we're still rolling them bones, and we're still sort of having fun in a fantasy universe.

SPEAKER_05 1:09

Um and so are you guys ready for a recap? Yeah, I'd love a recap. Uh also, does this does our mission get a name?

SPEAKER_07 1:16

Oh, the campaign. Yeah, we should name the campaign. That's a really good point, Mark. Thank you very much. Um that kind of falls to me a little bit, but I haven't uh really thought that far ahead. Dog day afternoon. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_11 1:29

Dog Doggo Doggo Day After Nuno. Doggo Day After Nuno. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_08 1:35

How about all dogs go to Kevin?

SPEAKER_07 1:38

Oh, wow. Not bad, I guess. Yeah. A dog themed one would be good because uh part of the recap is you all are doggos. Pet smart. I like pet smart. Yeah.

SPEAKER_08 1:50

Just pet smart. How to train your dra your doggo.

SPEAKER_01 1:54

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 1:55

Yeah. Okay, let's call it pet smart because that's kind of a little fun little play on words there in and of itself. Um what I like to do as a as a D DM is kind of turn it back on the players and see what you all remember because I've taken some notes, but like I like to fill in the blanks. Um, and I can jump in when we need to uh sort of have those blanks filled in. But um, what do you remember about our first session of Pet Smart? We're dogs. Yeah. Yes, you were all dogs. We're all dogs. We're all dogs. We we went through a pretty pretty substantial uh character building exercise where you weren't dogs, um and then uh took a kind of a a U-turn right at the end and went uh went with doggos at the end. So you are all doggos, and that's important because in this universe, in this fantasy universe, we created doggos. So dogs that walk and talk, kind of like you know, furry style, are the prominent sort of species of the world. You see more dogs than you see other non-dogs. So it's a it's a dog universe, which is fun. People love dogs.

SPEAKER_08 3:02

I was sort of a vampire dog.

SPEAKER_07 3:05

Yes, you were. Yeah, I don't remember. You're Kodan the Vampirean. Kodan. Uh you can turn into smoke, you can turn into a bat, you're always shirtless. There we go. But he's a dog. Yeah, but you're a dog. Oh, excuse me, yeah. No, no, no, that was your original thing. You're a you're a great dane called Mr. Barkle. Okay, yeah, yeah, that's what you are. That's a great dane. But you can turn into smoke, you can turn into a bat, and you are shirtless. Yeah, it all must be.

SPEAKER_08 3:31

It's a mist more than a smoke, I think. Okay, great. Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 3:33

Yeah.

SPEAKER_11 3:34

What kind of a guy, what kind of a DD guy are you? Like you're a wizard or you're like a what is that?

SPEAKER_07 3:39

That's for Ryan to tell me. You're a barbarian with a broadswork. Oh, that's right. Barbarian.

SPEAKER_08 3:44

Barbarian, but also a vampire.

SPEAKER_07 3:46

Great. Kevin, do you remember your stuff?

SPEAKER_11 3:49

I remember I was like a ro I was like a uh King Charles Spaniel. Yep uh and Prince Prince Princess Bitch. Pretty Prince Bitch, that's what it was. Is your name.

SPEAKER_07 4:02

You have a cannon.

SPEAKER_11 4:04

Yes. That's your that's your weapon of choice. Oh, a cannon with a cannonball and a chain that I can crank back, right?

SPEAKER_07 4:10

That's right. And that that featured prominently in the the end of our last episode when you you launched everyone out of the tavern where people were sort of starting to sort of uh uh try to uh bog you down, but you launched everyone out with a a cannon fire across town to get to Mark Little's character's White Ford Bronco.

SPEAKER_02 4:32

Yeah, I got a White Ford Bronco, I know that. It's the only car.

SPEAKER_07 4:36

Yeah, it's the only car in the whole world, in the whole universe.

SPEAKER_02 4:38

Yeah, and we know we know uh we killed a guy.

SPEAKER_07 4:43

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 4:44

You killed um We didn't mean to, I think, right? Yeah. He bonked his head.

SPEAKER_07 4:50

You you drugged him, then you bonked his head, then he bonked his head.

SPEAKER_02 4:53

We meant to drug him. Was that the bartender?

SPEAKER_07 4:56

No, it was a gentleman who was trying to give you uh an adventure that you try to give us a round of drinks unsolicited, and we're gonna be a good one. Yeah, he was trying to call you over to his table, and you guys were not into that.

SPEAKER_02 5:07

So we didn't like that.

SPEAKER_07 5:09

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 5:09

I don't remember who I am though.

SPEAKER_07 5:11

Oh, okay. Let's go back to you, Mark Little. Um is your name pervert? Yeah, that's right. Yeah, you're you're pervert, uh, you're a basset hound. Right. Uh your wife Gabrielle died. Oh. Yeah. Uh, and that's kind of the history that hangs over you. Okay. Uh, and you um you you you you own the only car in the universe.

SPEAKER_03 5:35

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_07 5:36

Yeah. Uh remember your guy too was kind of like, um, you know, a lot of catchphrases.

SPEAKER_02 5:41

Yeah, it was a bit uh persnickety, but I was also quite funny. I think my character is just quite funny. Yeah.

SPEAKER_08 5:50

Yeah. Yeah. My question is is how I mean, I this probably for the adventure, but how are we gonna get gas for the car? Like it's the only car.

SPEAKER_07 5:58

Yeah, so it definitely does run on classic petroleum style gas. So what are you gonna do? It is a Bronco. It also it should it because it's the only car in the universe, like people are gonna be like mystified by it, right? Like also it's quite a dangerous thing to own and operate. So there's that. I think like it might be a little, as we say in the DD universe, uh, OP. It might be a little overpowered. We'll see how you use it. But yes, you are driving an SUV.

SPEAKER_08 6:29

And is it an SUV that's made for humans to drive, or is it modified so so dog legs can reach the gas pedals?

SPEAKER_07 6:36

Well, I think in this universe, doggos like they have human legs. Oh, we're like human legs? You guys are like human hands, human legs, dog.

SPEAKER_08 6:45

You're not as kind of more like a Minotaur style. Yeah. I think so.

SPEAKER_01 6:50

Unless you guys want to be more you wanna be more dog?

SPEAKER_11 6:53

So it's like a dog upper body on top of like a human neck.

SPEAKER_07 6:58

I mean, it's up to you. I I I was picturing sort of like anthropomorphic kind of dogs with hands and legs, but do you want to be more more more dogs that just like have a trouble walking on two legs?

SPEAKER_02 7:09

I wanna have I wanna I wanna do what you just said big, meaty human legs, and I want to have a tiny dog butt that kind of looks like Morty's mouth. Yeah. And then I want to have a and then of course in the penis department.

SPEAKER_08 7:24

Yeah. Retractable.

SPEAKER_02 7:26

I wanna have a nice retractable prong.

SPEAKER_08 7:28

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 7:29

Oh wow. That still sticks up.

SPEAKER_08 7:31

Yeah, we all have a red lipstick, and it's a great day, and I have a very big red lipstick.

SPEAKER_11 7:35

Yeah, and with what I've just learned is called a pisswick, which is all the hair at the tip of the dog's penis. Ew. You just learned that? I did learn that. You knew that from a dog owner. Wow, the pisswick.

SPEAKER_08 7:48

Ryan, you said you'd you just learned that like you've known that.

SPEAKER_07 7:51

Is that a no, no, I was I had never heard that before. No, I I hadn't known it, absolutely. So, yeah, because you murdered the man who was trying to give you an adventure. Yeah. Uh inadvertently, but you did murder him, and then you had to get out of the tavern because everyone was trying to capture you.

SPEAKER_08 8:07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 8:08

You launched yourselves across town on Kevin's character's cannon, and you found the Bronco, and we left it. You're on the road to talk London.

SPEAKER_11 8:22

Didn't Pervert like roll to like bonk his bonk his balls really hard or something like that?

SPEAKER_07 8:30

Oh Pervert is is mildly injured, and like we'll have to keep that in to yes. Okay. Yeah.

SPEAKER_08 8:38

Can I do a can I do a medical check on Pervert and like see if I can help make it jump right into it?

SPEAKER_02 8:45

Absolutely. I want to say this about Pervert. My eyes are gonna be crossed this entire episode.

SPEAKER_11 8:52

And like all everything you say has to start with doy-yo yo-yoyoyo. Because there's still stars going around from the balls.

SPEAKER_07 8:59

Because until you guys do a long rest, pervert is going to be cross-eyed and hurt. Okay.

SPEAKER_08 9:06

So the medical check might not do anything.

SPEAKER_07 9:08

You can see what you can do. You absolutely, Sir Barkle, is it Sir Barkle? Mr. Barkles.

SPEAKER_08 9:12

Mr.

SPEAKER_07 9:12

Barkle, excuse me.

SPEAKER_08 9:13

Absolutely. Barkles with an S.

SPEAKER_07 9:15

And so just to remind ourselves, we're doing just rolling D20s. Yeah. Um, you know, I'm gonna write down uh difficulty checks to see like what you're able to do. But you know, basically it's like one through twenty, and those numbers will determine if something's successful, mildly successful, really successful, or a failure.

SPEAKER_11 9:34

I can ask a question about my character as well.

SPEAKER_07 9:36

Yes, absolutely.

SPEAKER_11 9:36

Well, what's my character? Like Mark was a barbarian is Prince Pretty Prince Bitch a thing? Like what is uh does pretty prince bitch again?

SPEAKER_07 9:44

Pretty Prince Bitch, Cavalier, Jim Jimmy, dog walker. Um, I don't see a class, but you can choose a class now if you'd like to like to have fun with a class, Kevin.

SPEAKER_11 9:54

Oh, we'll figure that out.

SPEAKER_07 9:55

Okay, great. Yeah, keep it open, I guess.

SPEAKER_08 9:57

Yeah, yeah. Okay, so I'm gonna roll a d20 for my medical check for um pervert. Great.

SPEAKER_02 10:03

I'm driving right now.

SPEAKER_08 10:04

Yeah, and I'm I'm not I'm gonna help you out while you're driving. You're driving cross-eyed, and that makes me feel very unsafe.

SPEAKER_11 10:12

I sort of like the idea of the dog with like little like extender things, like little blocks on your like dog feet, like pushing things, but we have human legs. We have human legs.

SPEAKER_02 10:20

We have human legs. I'm driving a 94 Ford White Bronco, white Bronco, OJ style. And but here's one thing I want about my car. It doesn't have power steering. So my arms are going back and forth like an old vaudeville. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_11 10:35

Yes, like a green screen behind us. Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 10:39

Yeah. And much like OJ, you are pursued by law enforcement. Like the white is no, no, but by horseback and and just they're on your case. So if you stop, what I'm saying is if you stop to rest, like they're on the gas. Or to or to figure out what gas is.

SPEAKER_11 10:59

They're chasing us with white, actual literal white broncos.

SPEAKER_08 11:02

Oh, sick. There you go. How much um how much yeah, that's awesome, Kevin. How much uh how much gas do we have? You've you have half a tank. Half a tank. Okay. Okay, now I'm gonna try to apply some medical aid to uh perverts uh balls.

SPEAKER_02 11:18

You really put Ryan on the spot there, and he came through.

SPEAKER_07 11:20

Yeah that's a mark of a good uh it's not a full tank, it's not a quarter, it's a half. I feel like it's enough to get to Dog London.

SPEAKER_11 11:30

Dog London, I forgot about that.

SPEAKER_07 11:32

Okay, here we go. Here we go. Okay. I roll a eight. Okay, so that unfortunately, all you can tell is that his eyes are crossed and his balls hurt. It doesn't it doesn't help you at all. Like you can't like find any sort of cure or remedy for it. He's just in pain, and it's just gonna be a matter of time until he's not in pain.

SPEAKER_08 11:52

Maybe I should drive. I feel like we're in the well.

SPEAKER_07 11:54

Let's do some role-playing because remember, DD is all about role-playing. So let's start with a nice kind of role-playing scene. You're in the car. For some reason, Pervert's driving. I guess it's his car. Yeah. It's my car. You know, he's injured, you're screaming out of town, and you're on your way to Dog London. Let's do a little role play. Let's hear the three characters talk to each other a bit.

SPEAKER_02 12:14

Okay, so Pervert has just been examined by Mr. Barkles, right? But Mr. Barkles doesn't know what he's doing down there, so I'm I'm gonna say something like uh you get it, you get along enough. Look. Yeah, they hurt. Next, yeah, how about how about get your medical degree next time you want to go down? How about buy me dinner first? That's what Perverts said. That's what he said, yeah.

SPEAKER_08 12:45

And I and as a dog, I was probably licking your balls and sniffing your balls.

SPEAKER_02 12:48

No, I'd never licking sniffing.

SPEAKER_08 12:51

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 12:52

But you got a human tongue. Wait, one tiny thing? A tiny human tongue.

SPEAKER_01 13:05

Oh, it's like Sonic the Hedgehog uh.

SPEAKER_03 13:10

I was just trying to help, is what I say.

SPEAKER_08 13:13

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 13:14

Yeah, we'll try to help someone else. Boy, you boy. Okay.

SPEAKER_08 13:18

Do you need any help? Pretty pretty bitch.

SPEAKER_12 13:22

Please stop bickering up there.

SPEAKER_11 13:23

We're being chased by bucking broncos back up back here. I'm in the back with my with my cannon because my cannon fits there and my back. No, it doesn't.

SPEAKER_02 13:32

Cargo area. No, it doesn't fit back there. It doesn't fit. Okay, where's the cannon? Is it strapped onto the roof? Yeah, it's strapped onto the roof on top of a kayak.

SPEAKER_08 13:41

We had time to do that before we put the drill the way.

SPEAKER_07 13:44

We're gonna do some rolls here. I did some rolls here to see how well it's tied on. Who tied it? Yeah, so who did who wants to do the tying?

SPEAKER_08 13:52

Probably Kevin, probably a pretty prince.

SPEAKER_07 13:55

So there is a kayak that Pervert won't give up. It might it might have to do with his past relationship with his wife with us anymore.

SPEAKER_06 14:02

I rolled an 18. Oh my god. Nice. It is tied on there really well. Hell yeah. It's even gonna it's gonna be quite hard to get off if you need it if you need it in a quick sort of situation.

SPEAKER_07 14:15

It's so tight with like bungee cords and like shoelaces and different things. You've just tied it up so crazy up there. So yeah, it's secure on top of the Bronco.

SPEAKER_05 14:25

Great. Okay. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 14:26

So um uh Mark Chavez uh uh Mr. Sparkles reaches for the radio because uh he's well, I don't want to control you, but if you reach for the radio, I'm gonna I'm gonna slap at your paw and I'm gonna go, never touch a bass at hounds radio. Ah, you stop bickering. We're being chased by bucking broncos back here.

SPEAKER_08 14:47

Oh, I want to do something about the bucking broncos. Can I can I throw something like trip the horses?

SPEAKER_07 14:53

Yeah, well, what what do you think? Um, pervert, what's kind of in the bronco? Is it like clean or is there stuff in there that maybe could be thrown out the back?

SPEAKER_08 15:02

I can throw pretty prince bitch. I can throw pretty prince bitch in.

SPEAKER_02 15:05

Well, I just want to tell you what your options are. Okay. I've got a lot of clothes I was gonna donate.

SPEAKER_08 15:10

Ah, perfect. That's good. In the trunk. That's good. Garbage bags. And how long have they been there? Like two months? Too long. I keep putting it off.

SPEAKER_02 15:19

It's been so long that I've stopped putting it in my morning planner.

SPEAKER_08 15:23

Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 15:24

I just can't handle the embarrassment of seeing it at the end of the day every day.

SPEAKER_07 15:28

Now, Mr. Barkle, you are also maybe gonna throw one of the other party members out the back.

SPEAKER_08 15:33

I was considering throwing Pretty Prince Bitch, but because there's a big bag of um uh clothes, I can grab that.

SPEAKER_11 15:39

You get confused and you grab the bag of clothes instead. Like it's not a shape like me and colored like me. Okay, great.

SPEAKER_07 15:46

So let's say there's two garbage bags full of clothes. Okay. One has some denim pants in it, it's a little heavier, and the other is mostly, I guess, sort of shirts.

SPEAKER_11 15:56

Denim pants.

SPEAKER_07 15:57

Or cheese.

SPEAKER_11 15:59

It's a big strength, strength check to lift the pants.

SPEAKER_07 16:02

It's a little heavier, okay? It's a little heavier than the other bag.

SPEAKER_08 16:05

I don't have time to figure out what's heavier. I'm just gonna grab the nearest thing and throw.

SPEAKER_02 16:09

Okay. I want to see if he has the strength to lift the denim pants bag or just the regular bag. Maybe I don't.

SPEAKER_07 16:15

Well, you are a great Dane, so your strength I think is quite high. But yeah, let's I'm gonna write a DC down so if you roll really low, you can't lift it because it's too heavy. Okay.

SPEAKER_08 16:26

Okay, here I go. Ready? Yeah. Yeah. Okay, rolling. Nine. Okay, so you are able to lift the denim pant bag.

SPEAKER_02 16:34

Okay, and then high six or below. I see you lift the denim pat bag and I go, holy shit, Mr. Muscles. It's Mr. Barkles. And then I could I'm gonna have to change your name to Mr. Muscles.

SPEAKER_08 16:48

If you want. That's fine. Okay, and then I say a quip as I throw the bag out the window. I say like um, time donate, take this to the salvation army, and I throw it out.

SPEAKER_11 17:00

You gotta do a roll to see if that was a quip.

SPEAKER_08 17:05

How's this? Oh no, I got one. How's this for goodwill? And I throw it out. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 17:10

Yeah, that works because an army after us, and this might be our salvation. Something like that. Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 17:19

I'll take the goodwill one.

SPEAKER_11 17:20

So uh I think I think Mark Doan ate and left no crumbs. Okay. Wow, that's probably it.

SPEAKER_05 17:31

Wow. I say this.

SPEAKER_08 17:32

How do you like denim apples?

SPEAKER_05 17:35

Oh my god, yeah.

SPEAKER_12 17:38

You got to try and salvage your attempt to catch us after this happens to you, Jimmy. Oh my god, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 17:47

You say that in the accent we expect. Yeah. And here's uh while while we're riffing on all of these possible catchphrases, I'm jerking the wheel back and forth in excitement because I love it. And my tail's wagging.

SPEAKER_08 18:01

And I keep trying to sneak changing the radio.

SPEAKER_11 18:03

And your lipstick is getting in between the the steering wheel like the club, you know?

SPEAKER_02 18:08

You're like, Yeah, my penis is getting bigger and bigger and bigger and bigger and bigger. Okay, so there's a lot to unpack here.

SPEAKER_08 18:15

That lipstick away, I say. I go, get away from that hair wick. What's it called? Okay, so wait a minute. I have a question. If there's a radio, there's radio stations. Are there radio stations at the end?

SPEAKER_07 18:29

It's a magical radio station. We're gonna go, it's a magical, so it's a wizard, it's a wizard that has sort of a broadcasting sort of wand or something that I've gotta find this guy.

SPEAKER_11 18:38

And the music is playing, it's like it's nothing but a good time. Some some hair metal playing, like just some rocking rockin tunes to play uh while we're while we're available capture.

SPEAKER_07 18:50

So I feel like we have to do a roll to see how well you throw this bag of clothes. So I roll I rolled to pick it up, which I did. You got it. And now we're gonna see like I'm gonna do a pretty high difficulty check to see if you do any any kind of like if you trip up these broncos that are following the bronco. Okay. But also I want to do a little roll for pervert, because pervert's saying that you're you're going crazy with excitement. So I need kind of a control check to see if you flip the Bronco. Oh wow, I might have to do that. What happens first? I so let's do the the throw and then we'll do the flip check. Okay.

SPEAKER_11 19:28

Okay, I also want to do something amidst all this stuff. So I'm also gonna be um uh uh trying to hump uh Mark. I'm just getting really riled up in the stuff. Um I'm gonna help hump Mr. Barkles because I'm in the back with him.

SPEAKER_07 19:42

Yeah, so you're also so everyone's so jacked up right now because of the catchphrases. It's like just going wild. So that's something to remember, I guess. You guys kind of can't like contain your excitement when catchphrases are afoot. Yeah. So something for the future. When catchphrases start happening, when they start coming out, you guys just get so nuts. Yeah, yeah. Whatever's happening is maybe in danger of kind of going off the ramp.

SPEAKER_11 20:09

So my humping mark could throw off his throw.

SPEAKER_07 20:12

Great. Okay, so we'll do so we'll do Kevin seeing if he can hump, seeing if he can hump Mark Chavez. Okay, we'll then add that into the difficulty of Mark Chavez's throw, and then we'll see if Mark Little's excitement flips the Bronco. Okay. Okay. Okay, so I'll roll first. Kevin, let me get a little DC here. This is good. Okay, so this is going to be pretty easy because you're right beside him. Let's see.

SPEAKER_11 20:36

I rolled a 13.

SPEAKER_07 20:37

Yeah, you're humping him. So you're humping him for sure. Okay. You get right on him and you're humping him, and you're kind of going, oh woo!

SPEAKER_04 20:45

Oh woo.

SPEAKER_07 20:48

So you're doing it.

SPEAKER_08 20:49

So I'm getting humped, but I have to.

SPEAKER_07 20:50

So now your difficulty is higher, uh, Mark Chavez, Mr. Barcles, because you're being humped. You don't, you don't, you don't take any notice of that because you're also excited as all hell. Um, but it's just gonna kind of jostle your throwing. So let's see. Here we go. And go for it. Here we go. Let's come on. 18! Okay. Yes, good job. I was looking for a 15. So you take out three of the four Broncos that are chasing you. Oh the bad. Oh, wait, here's what I say. Ready? Yeah, you okay catch a phrase. I don't know.

SPEAKER_08 21:20

Give me a second hand for that job.

SPEAKER_11 21:24

And then I start humping a lot harder.

SPEAKER_02 21:26

I'm like here's you break the denim in his pants with your prong.

unknown 21:34

My prong.

SPEAKER_02 21:35

You don't insert, but you break the denim and you kind of rub. Here's what I want to see when the bag of clothes goes. I want to see bra a bra. This is from my ex-wife. Yeah. It's actually very meaningful that I've had these clothes so long.

SPEAKER_08 21:50

There's a reason you didn't turn them on.

SPEAKER_02 21:52

Yeah, yeah. Maybe I'm actually quite upset that you're throwing these. I go, That's the only thing I have to remember her by. We're in trouble. Uh the bag spills over. And a and a bunch of bras come out, and they go on the horses and the horseback riders like ladies. They make them all look like ladies. That's hilarious.

SPEAKER_11 22:08

They remind you of your wife. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 22:12

And then I break so hard. Yeah. Okay. We'll get to you in a second, Ferber.

SPEAKER_06 22:19

So much more happening, so we'll get to you in a second, Ferber. So that is going to factor into the car flips, and now it probably will finish you.

SPEAKER_12 22:26

And I'm like, I'm like, your wife was hot.

SPEAKER_08 22:31

Judging by her bras. Yeah, on the horses and stuff. I thought it was a bag of denim. Three out of the four horses.

SPEAKER_07 22:38

The bras go on the riders, the bras go on the horses, the bras go on the horses' eyes. They they all fall. The horses are fine, but they fall kind of like car chase style. No, the horses aren't fine. Yeah.

SPEAKER_11 22:51

Sorry, but no. If a horse falls, it's very likely might break a leg.

SPEAKER_07 22:56

It's very likely they're probably not fine, but they just fall down. They could be like trained to fall.

SPEAKER_02 23:01

No, they're these ones aren't.

SPEAKER_07 23:03

So these ones are okay. So the horses are dead.

SPEAKER_08 23:05

The guys that are chasing are writing trick riding horses that are chasing.

SPEAKER_06 23:08

Okay, fine, fine. Three of the horses of the four horses are dead. Okay. Including the people on the horses.

SPEAKER_02 23:15

They're not dead, but they're all dying slow. Yeah. Well, that might come up later, but they're dying slowly.

SPEAKER_08 23:23

Is this how DDs normally play? The players can tell the DM how it's what's going on.

SPEAKER_07 23:27

I have to honor, I have to honor, I feel like the way we're playing, I want to honor that sort of storytelling collaboration. Okay. But generally speaking, a lot of the DMs have a lot more agency than than I'm currently have. But like I just want you guys to be excited. I want you guys to kind of be, you know, like down to uh clown with this story. So yeah, let's go with that. If you and Kevin are are comfortable, the horses are slowly dying. Okay. Totally fine with that. Yeah. Yeah. Okay, great. So yeah, so three of the four, but there's one Bronco left who kind of rears up and watches what's going to happen with the car. So now we have a big important car roll. Okay? Okay. So you did say, Mark Little, uh pervert who's driving, yeah. You were already going crazy because of the catchphrases. Then you break so hard.

SPEAKER_02 24:13

Because I saw a bunch of guys wearing my wife's old bars.

SPEAKER_08 24:17

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 24:17

Which is totally.

SPEAKER_08 24:19

And while the while the car's moving all crazy, I go, talk about a bucking Bronco.

SPEAKER_07 24:25

That's only going to make it worse. The more catchphrases you guys throw in, the worse it's going to be.

SPEAKER_11 24:30

Yeah. Now I've jumped off of Mark and I'm humping the car, which is making it go crazy. Now they're making the car shake harder. Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 24:36

Okay. So this is going to be a really hard roll.

SPEAKER_11 24:38

And my and as and as Pervert said, my rod is piercing the seats.

SPEAKER_07 24:42

The only way this car doesn't flip is if you roll a natural 20. Oh my god. The only way. Well, listen, what's going on here? Yeah. There's humping of the car. Okay. You've braked really hard. Yeah. You're driving crazy because of the catchphrases. And you've just witnessed your dead wife's clothes, you know, fly up. She's dead. She's Gabrielle's dead. Oh, oh, that's right. Yeah, that's sort of a part of which is a really interesting sort of character sort of piece of backstory. A bit of depth. For pervert. Yeah. So if you roll a 20, you get out of this. If you roll 19 or lower, the car flips, and you are all involved in a pretty serious car accident. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 25:23

I'm rolling now. Okay, so I rolled a seven.

SPEAKER_01 25:27

You flipped so hard. The car rolls three times into the ditch. Smoke everywhere. Glass broken.

SPEAKER_06 25:36

The car, your precious car, is gone. No. Oh, Ryan wanted to take that car away from us so quickly. Okay, fine. You could probably fix the car.

SPEAKER_02 25:46

I'm gonna roll again.

SPEAKER_06 25:48

What?

SPEAKER_02 25:50

You better roll again.

SPEAKER_06 25:53

You can roll one more time, but that's it. Only one roll.

SPEAKER_02 25:56

To see if I if I can if I can uh because my dog used to be a stunt man. Can I roll to see if I can pull this out?

SPEAKER_07 26:05

Okay, so the car's definitely flipping, but yes, you can roll mid-roll of the car to see if you can straighten it out. It's still gonna be take the car some damage, but if you roll, I'm gonna say a 15. You have to roll 15 and you can straighten this out.

SPEAKER_02 26:20

Okay, I'm rolling right now. Yeah. I got an eight.

SPEAKER_07 26:23

Okay, so no, it crashes. It crashes hard. It crashes hard. You're upside down. You're all in your seat belts, you were wearing your seat belts, but you are upside down and like all the windows are broken, the car's wheels are turning, smoke everywhere. You know what I mean? And there's one bucking Bronco a hundred meters down the road who's sort of maybe uh trying to help his friends and the horses who are slowly dying.

SPEAKER_02 26:49

Fuck.

SPEAKER_07 26:50

Yeah. So what do you do?

SPEAKER_08 26:54

Can someone get the license plate of the car that rolled? Or I guess we're just asking what your license plate is.

SPEAKER_07 27:00

There's only one car in the universe, so no catchphrases can really you can't do like car stuff. You know what I mean? This is a magical.

SPEAKER_08 27:07

This is the first car wreck ever.

SPEAKER_07 27:08

Yeah. Well, that you've been in. No, ever. I mean, no, I think Gabrielle died in a car.

SPEAKER_12 27:14

Oh, she died.

SPEAKER_07 27:15

Is that how she died? I think maybe I wrote that down. I had to listen back.

SPEAKER_08 27:19

Oh, second car wreck in history. I can't remember. Coming from the same family. One family has had two. Oh my gosh. It's a legacy.

SPEAKER_07 27:27

Okay, you've got cop one cop left, and you're upside down in a bronco.

SPEAKER_02 27:32

Okay, so I say, I say to the other guys, someone else switch seats with me. I'm wasted.

SPEAKER_08 27:38

Fine. So I change, we move upside down, we're upside down, and I move into the driver's seat upside down, and I say, I'm never taking a fall for you like this again, ever.

SPEAKER_07 27:48

Okay, no, if you're doing something that seems like hard to do, you I am gonna make you roll for that. Okay. Okay, so I'm trying to get it.

SPEAKER_05 27:53

It's easy though in this car. This roomy spacious car. Okay, so I'm just looking for a fiver up. Okay, I'll roll. Rolling.

SPEAKER_07 28:01

17. Oh, yeah. Yeah, you switch places.

SPEAKER_11 28:04

Yeah, is there a sunroof like in the in the Bronco? For sure, but it's upside down, so it's on the Yeah, yeah, but we're laying on top of the uh cannon, which is on top of the um car.

SPEAKER_07 28:17

Yes, really good point.

SPEAKER_11 28:19

Right? So I I gotta take off my seatbelt and I gotta get I want to get to my cannon.

SPEAKER_07 28:23

Okay, you get to your cannon.

SPEAKER_11 28:25

Oh, great. Okay, so I shoot the cop. I blast the legs off that horse.

SPEAKER_08 28:31

While it's still tied to the Bronco, won't they make the Bronco?

SPEAKER_11 28:34

It is kind of, but like it's a little bit looser. So the accident? Even though I tied it pretty good.

SPEAKER_02 28:40

Yeah. So I just how do you get to the cannon? There's a kayak in the way right on top of the sunroof.

SPEAKER_08 28:47

It goes sunroof, kayak, cannon, right? So in this world, the cannon is on the ground. The kayak is a good one.

SPEAKER_07 28:52

I guess it's kind of like it's not fully like the the bronco is like kind of like on a diagonal sort of angle because of the kayak and the cannon. So you can squirm out and fire that cannon. Now it is, it is definitely going to launch the Bronco up here. Okay.

SPEAKER_11 29:16

Are we just on the side of the road, or are we like, where are we? Yeah, you're in the ditch. Okay.

SPEAKER_07 29:19

You're in the ditch.

SPEAKER_11 29:21

Great. You guys are still seatbelted in, it'll be okay.

SPEAKER_08 29:25

We just switched. No, we switched. I'm just seatbelt.

SPEAKER_07 29:30

And Kevin, are you unseatbelted for this cannon launch?

SPEAKER_11 29:33

Yeah, I mean, I'm outside, I'm at the cannon, so yeah.

SPEAKER_07 29:36

Okay, so okay. I just want I do want to warn you this will launch the Bronco into the forest.

SPEAKER_02 29:44

Before we do this, can we check in with the cops?

SPEAKER_07 29:47

Yeah, sure. You want to talk to the cops? No, I want the cops.

SPEAKER_02 29:52

I want the cops to talk to each other.

SPEAKER_08 29:55

Oh, yeah, let's see what they're saying. Oh, I see.

SPEAKER_11 29:57

So it's like the one mounted cop and then all the crashed.

SPEAKER_08 29:59

Yeah, the horses are like cast us as the cops.

SPEAKER_11 30:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_08 30:03

Maybe Ryan, you you give us each a cop to play.

SPEAKER_04 30:06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 30:06

Okay, great. So you're all the four of you, like three of you are cops. So I'll be the one cop who's not on a horse that's slowly dying. Okay. Okay.

SPEAKER_06 30:14

And the rest of you are, I'll be like, brothers in the watch. Brothers in the watch. Look at this. I'm wearing a bra on my chest like a woman.

SPEAKER_12 30:23

My chest is still supported, and it feels nice. You're fine?

SPEAKER_02 30:26

Fucking these guys.

SPEAKER_08 30:29

You're all fine? Did you see that magical white chariot?

SPEAKER_12 30:33

Oh wow, wow, that was crazy. What happened?

SPEAKER_02 30:36

Okay, and now I want my guy to look at the camera and kind of roll his eyes and go, yeah, this is how they talk. That is exactly like pervert.

SPEAKER_08 30:47

So your cop is just pervert. Pervert too. But he's a different guy. He's perverting too.

SPEAKER_07 30:57

So that's good information for you guys. The horses might be slowly dying, but the the watch, you know, the cops, they're all fine. So you've got at least four sort of fighters with swords bearing down on you.

SPEAKER_08 31:10

And there's a documentary crew following them. Yeah, there's a let's get to that documentary crew.

SPEAKER_11 31:15

Okay, sketch on the documentary crew.

SPEAKER_08 31:18

Can we cut to the crew? Who are we in the crew? So let's just make sure that was beautiful, beautiful footage. It couldn't have been better. This is why.

SPEAKER_07 31:27

This is why we follow the watch.

SPEAKER_11 31:31

Can we do that again? I got a buzzing in the audio. This buzzing in the audio. I can't get rid of it.

SPEAKER_06 31:36

Can we do that again?

SPEAKER_07 31:38

And then Mark, your cop guy goes. Oh, it's are we still the cops? Well, I'm but I'm pushing you back to be the cop guy.

SPEAKER_02 31:46

Okay, my cop guy uh looks at the camera and says, tell me you were rolling.

SPEAKER_11 31:53

Unrelated to what they're talking about. What camera? What camera? But he's just drawing things really.

SPEAKER_07 32:01

The documentary crew. So we've established that, and that's totally cool. Okay, so let's get back to the cabin cannon fire. Okay, the cannon fire.

SPEAKER_08 32:09

Oh yeah. Okay. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Yes, there's a couple of things.

SPEAKER_02 32:14

Yeah, there's a lot of there's a lot of sake. So my cop, I want to make a I want him to get a call from his uh from his call to get FaceTime from uh from uh the the principal at his kids' school.

SPEAKER_05 32:28

Okay, great.

SPEAKER_07 32:29

Um okay, I'll uh I'll call so it's kind of like a magical call on like sort of a a phone-like device that looks like kind of like a a lit up like sort of thin brick. Thin brick is a good name for like a prince.

SPEAKER_05 32:45

Uh yeah. Thin brick. Uh hello, Officer Stevenson. Yeah, it's me. Uh Principal Principal Delwan. Uh do you have a minute?

SPEAKER_02 32:58

Uh I'm really in the middle of the middle of something right now. And then I look to the camera and I go, this guy.

SPEAKER_08 33:07

Good footage, this is great. Get tight on his face.

SPEAKER_11 33:11

This camera's getting lots of spiked action. I love it. It's about your son.

SPEAKER_05 33:16

Uh-huh. To win? Yeah, two in.

SPEAKER_07 33:21

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 33:21

He's been involved in another altercation, and I just wanted to know.

SPEAKER_02 33:26

What the fuck did he do this time? Well little fucking animal. Hey.

SPEAKER_08 33:30

There's a son named To Win.

SPEAKER_02 33:33

Gee, what listen, whatever you need to do to him to get him to shape up and ship up, uh, you got my permission, man.

SPEAKER_05 33:41

Well, we were thinking of banishing him to another realm through a portal of dimension.

SPEAKER_02 33:45

Banish him! He's pi he's been pissing me off for years now. Full disclosure, sir, do you have kids? Mm-hmm. Tish is great. Well, I don't know how they act with you, but I feel like my kid treats me like I'm a frickin' uh subhuman, you know? Sub gu sub-like species.

SPEAKER_00 34:08

Is that my goblin of a dead on the phone?

SPEAKER_07 34:11

Oh, two in his two in his.

SPEAKER_00 34:13

Get him! I want to slap his frickin' tush! You can slap my tush! Stupid little win! Slap my tush! His tush looks like Morty's mouth, it does. I want to slap his little wet balloon and great footage.

SPEAKER_08 34:26

Tell me your rope.

SPEAKER_07 34:27

Ryan, what's your cop's name? Oh, the cop that's alive still? Yeah. We're all alive. But he's on the living board. I would guess uh uh uh Officer uh Ridley.

SPEAKER_02 34:39

Okay, so I go, I go, Ridley, I need your horse. I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go hash things out with this little monster. Okay, nice.

SPEAKER_07 34:47

I'd like what that's okay. Well played. Ridley, of course, you're uh you're his superior, relinquishes the one good horse and allows you to go talk to Two Win and his principal.

SPEAKER_08 35:00

I'll be the horse. Hop on board, let's go.

SPEAKER_02 35:04

Okay. Okay.

SPEAKER_01 35:06

Okay, so now it's just a camera crew.

SPEAKER_02 35:08

Wait, can I talk to the camera after that horse said that thing? Yes, of course. I say, I heard a Mr. Ed, but this is ridiculous. I'll say, how about this? I'll say, uh basically, this guy's Mr. Special Ed. Oh my god. So I'm still I still got a sense of humor, even though I gotta go deal with this little thing. Yeah, two win. You know what?

SPEAKER_07 35:32

What's fun about DD is we may maybe we'll see the principal, maybe we'll see two-win, maybe we'll like see the realm he got banished to, maybe we'll see this cop again.

SPEAKER_08 35:42

As the guy is playing the documentary camera guy, I think I would follow Officer Stevenson. Okay, that's that's fine.

SPEAKER_07 35:50

So I'm gonna say the documentary crew follows Officer Stevenson. Okay. Um, so there's only now I think three cops, no horses, no documentary. Three cops, no horses, and a cannon that is yet to be fired. So now we get back to the cannon fire. So you so again, okay, this will launch the car into the forest. So um Mr. Barkles and Pervert will take some kind of damage here. They're not gonna die. They're seat belted in. You know what I mean? No, I think you'll be okay. Because you're out again, you've scrambled out, right? So I feel like unless you roll like a to like a terrible roll, like under five, I think you'll be okay. Yeah. I think uh ultimately I'm just looking for like, yeah, I I think because of the cannon and the power of it, I think it's gonna it's gonna blast these guys. You'll be free of the cops.

SPEAKER_08 36:43

Is the role both to see if he hits the cops and what happens to the truck, or is it two? I don't think so.

SPEAKER_07 36:48

I'm gonna combine it all. I think I think he's gonna hit the cops no matter what.

SPEAKER_08 36:51

Okay.

SPEAKER_07 36:52

I think ca because it's a cannon, you know? It's a cannon aimed at these people. Is there a chance that all those deer will get in the way? So which deer are you talking? Because it's a bunch of deer.

SPEAKER_02 37:03

I'm just worried about all those deer over there.

SPEAKER_07 37:06

Yeah, all those deer that marched at, like, there's so many of them. So there's a bunch of deer, just like curious deer, just a curious bunch of deer. And these are just deer, they're not anthropomorphic deer. They're not like you doggos. They're like four-legged deer just like going about their day.

SPEAKER_11 37:21

But they they could speak. The horse has spoken, yeah. Special ed spoke. So it's like the deer could be coming in and being like, oh, look at this. Look at this, what's going on here?

SPEAKER_07 37:30

Uh, does someone want to roll to see if the deer can speak? And then we can hear from the deer? Okay, so yeah, just roll with it. Straight up uh ten or under, they can't. Eleven and above, they can't. They can. 14. Okay, so the deer can speak.

SPEAKER_01 37:42

So do you guys want to see what the deer say before the cannon fires?

SPEAKER_00 37:46

Look at this grass over here. What was that noise?

SPEAKER_07 37:48

Look at this grass sounded like a big broncos spinning and falling and landing upside down. Okay, so they're just nice and innocent deer. Okay, great.

SPEAKER_09 37:56

Don't go out them, I'm me, but daddy, don't go shut up It'll be fine.

SPEAKER_10 38:06

Ow What's wrong now? I put a ne there's a nail in my ho in my hoof.

SPEAKER_09 38:15

Not now. I'm staring down a barrel of a k-ka can.

SPEAKER_07 38:20

So one of the deers has a nail in their hoof, so they can't move out of the way. I guess is what you're saying. No one hurt himself. No, just hurt yourself.

SPEAKER_09 38:29

The nail is pointing up.

SPEAKER_07 38:30

Okay, so it's so I stepped on it.

SPEAKER_10 38:33

It hurt. I can still move, not as swiftly as I'm accustomed to.

SPEAKER_11 38:42

And then, yes, and then I uh and then uh uh uh a flat iron fell down a chute and hit me right in the face.

SPEAKER_07 38:49

Okay, so these deers are just getting hurt independently of anything. They're just getting hurt.

SPEAKER_09 38:54

Ooh, I just touched a really hot light uh the doorknob.

SPEAKER_06 38:57

Okay, so it's home alone.

SPEAKER_09 39:01

It's micro machines.

SPEAKER_05 39:02

So someone's home alone, these deers. We'll get to that in a second.

SPEAKER_09 39:06

It's hot doorknob.

SPEAKER_05 39:07

That's right. So earlier, someone home alone.

SPEAKER_06 39:11

Yeah, so there's another character we haven't met yet who's home alone these deers.

SPEAKER_09 39:15

I told you we shouldn't have tried to break into that house, mommy daddy.

SPEAKER_01 39:20

So they seem innocent.

SPEAKER_09 39:22

There's just so many nice conco with broken. Ooh, broken Christmas ornaments.

SPEAKER_07 39:27

Okay, so we'll the deer have wandered out after ha after having been home alone. Okay. Yeah. So there's probably a sort of a suburban Chicago house somewhere in the vicinity that they've been trying to break into. Right. John Hughes style. Uh, but we'll see that later. So we're back at this sort of pivotal cannon um uh fire. Um Prince Bitch. Okay, so let's so again, you're definitely gonna hit the cops, but it's about like the deer. Well, let's see what the roll. Like, if it's a high roll, I think everyone's gonna be okay. If it's a lower roll, everyone's gonna be hurt, is kind of how I'm gonna play it. And the crows will be fine?

SPEAKER_04 40:12

So there's also crows are the crows.

SPEAKER_07 40:21

We can briefly hear from the crows. Yeah. We can briefly hear from the crows. But that's the last person I'm gonna hear from, and then we're gonna do the canon fight. We home alone that home real quick. The crows did it. Yeah, yeah. We home alone two, though.

SPEAKER_03 40:34

Oh my god, we absolutely home alone two'd those deer. We sure did home alone two of them really good. Oh my god, we absolutely did it. Yeah.

SPEAKER_11 40:45

We did it so good.

SPEAKER_03 40:47

And this crow looks down the barrel of the camera, the camera curl and goes, uh, we may be a murderer of crows, but that was a home invasion of deer. And that's what a group of deer is called. And then he goes, Awoga, awoga.

SPEAKER_08 41:03

Somebody put it in me. That's the documentary crew that's following the crows.

SPEAKER_01 41:09

He said that to the camera of the documentary.

SPEAKER_08 41:12

There's a different crew that's following the crows.

SPEAKER_07 41:14

There's a different crew. Yeah, someone put it in me. That's fine. So I'm I'm calling it there. There's the there's the crows that definitely did the home aloning to the deer. There's the deer that has been home alone. They're in front of the Bronco. You're gonna kill the cops, but let's see how how everyone fares with this cannon fire. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 41:38

Yeah. And we don't have to worry about the cannon hitting the rabbits. They'll be fine. They're not gonna be involved.

SPEAKER_07 41:43

The rabbits are quick. The rabbits are quick. The rabbits are quick. I was just making sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What about all that?

SPEAKER_02 41:49

What about all those guys?

SPEAKER_08 41:55

Hey, what's all the hubbub over here?

SPEAKER_06 41:57

It's a bunch of guys, just like standard guys.

SPEAKER_08 42:00

Hey, what's going on with me? Followed by a documentary crew, a little chickadees following them, and then we got the rabbits, but they're fine.

SPEAKER_07 42:11

So these guys think crows are chickadees.

SPEAKER_08 42:13

No, chickadees. The chickadees are the documentary crew. Yeah, they think the crows and the documentary crew are chickadees. No, I don't know, I know what a crow is. Come on. I don't look. You can tell crows because they're black and they got.

SPEAKER_07 42:29

So these these three guys are just on like a vacation. Are they just like sort of on a vacation, they're snapping the way down the road?

SPEAKER_08 42:39

They're not on a vacation.

SPEAKER_11 42:40

They have leather Hawaiian shirts on.

SPEAKER_08 42:42

I love being on vacation in the forest on the way to Dog London.

SPEAKER_07 42:55

I actually have to write this down note because when we get to the Oh my god. Okay, so we have three guys. What is it? What is it, Oktoberfest?

SPEAKER_03 43:05

Because I feel like I'm at a sausage pot. Exactly.

SPEAKER_08 43:09

Oh! Wait a minute. Check out those bras over there.

SPEAKER_07 43:16

Oh, whoa. What? Okay, so they're attracted to the bras, so they go towards where the cops are, so now they're in mortal danger. Let's do this cannon roll now. Let's do this cannon roll now. Kevin, roll for the cannon.

SPEAKER_11 43:29

Get ready. Get ready. 19!

SPEAKER_06 43:33

Everyone lives.

SPEAKER_07 43:34

That's what that means? Yeah, everyone lives. It was a precision. It was a low roll. It was going to be a lot of death and destruction. Obviously, I think you guys are going to get launched into the forest, but not that far. The seat belts save you a little bit. So, like, I think you're now cross eyed as well, Mark Chavez. Okay. And for some reason, Mark Little, you're not cross eyed anymore. That's what the thing is. So it's free. About 15-20 feet into the forest. All the cops are dead. Unfortunately, so are the three guys. Oh! So we'd killed innocent people as well as a lot of people. Well, were they innocent? I mean, you guys were playing the guys. Were they innocent or were they not?

SPEAKER_08 44:15

Well, they they weren't innocent of trying to have a good time on their vacation.

SPEAKER_00 44:19

Oh, I want to disseminate this copyrighted material.

SPEAKER_08 44:28

I bet you wondering how I got here. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 44:33

Yeah. We're all actually we got good hearts, but we are disseminating copyrighted material. Yeah. Okay, so yeah.

SPEAKER_03 44:41

And if that's a crime episode, okay, so the three guys are dead.

SPEAKER_07 44:49

The three cops are dead. Okay. The one cop who went to talk to his kid at the school with the school principal is still alive.

SPEAKER_02 44:56

Okay. And there's like a there's a cloud of like uh bootleg DVDs that go flying when we when the guys get hit. Absolutely.

SPEAKER_08 45:05

Avatar that exists in the Home Alone 2, Avatar, as well as the deer scatter and the crows fly away.

SPEAKER_07 45:14

Wow. So it's a bit of a quietly documentary. You know, like your ears are ringing. You know what I mean? But after all this crazy driving, this crazy drive, you know, all this uh zigs and zags, you're just now alone, the three of you, and you uh Prince Bitch, pretty Prince Bitch, you run up to your friends to check if they're okay, and let's let's see that scene.

SPEAKER_12 45:44

Are you are you guys all right?

SPEAKER_08 45:46

So many of you, pretty Prince Bitch, I say.

SPEAKER_02 45:49

So I look cross-eyed and I'd be a bit better if the DJ found a different song.

SPEAKER_03 45:54

Just put those old records on the shit.

SPEAKER_08 46:01

Can we cut to the wizard in the radio station doing his wizardry DJ?

SPEAKER_07 46:07

And here's another hit Okay, go back, go back. I can't. I can't. I don't I don't want to either. I think putting you know sequel on the reses. Um so you're now the Bronco is upside down, but it's not dead. But it's definitely gonna be running like a little bit like worse for wear, but it is also upside down. Okay? You're nowhere near Dog London. You've got a long ways to go, and you're alone in the wilderness when you do.

SPEAKER_11 46:41

Okay. I I say stay strapped in. I'm gonna get us there. And then I keep firing the cannon at the end of the day. Dragging the car and the kayak.

SPEAKER_08 46:49

Oh, maybe the kayak helps a little bit.

SPEAKER_02 46:52

Ooh, we could go, we could go by sea, by river. Oh.

SPEAKER_07 46:55

There is a river, there is a river way. Yeah, there's a river here. Like the real London. Dog London is like, you know, there's the Thames.

SPEAKER_08 47:02

What's the river? Is it just called Dog Thames? What do you want to call it? Yeah, Dog Thames.

SPEAKER_07 47:07

Dog Thames. The Dog Thames. What what why do we want to get to Dog London again? So you're on the run. I mean, like Dog London is sort of like because you're it's a place you can maybe disappear to. Maybe the three of you have like sort of like contacts as well, you know, but it's like um because it's a cool place to be, I think, honestly, but like it's away from the the small village where you fucked everything up, basically.

SPEAKER_11 47:33

Yeah, and I think I know I like grew up in sheltered like existence of like Dog London. You're an aristocrat.

SPEAKER_08 47:40

Oh, and I wanted to buy property in in Dog London because that's what Dracula did. He wanted to get he wanted to buy property.

unknown 47:47

Right.

SPEAKER_11 47:48

And I think Pervert won't didn't you want to find your your wife's killer or something, or was there some motivation there? I think so. I got clothes you need to protect to the other bras are gone, I don't care. Really just wanted to donate her clothes to do that.

SPEAKER_02 48:00

Oh yeah, I could have got good money in Dog London for these things.

SPEAKER_07 48:04

No, there are like there are scattered bits of your your wives and your old clothing everywhere as well. Yeah. So like you're kind of dealing with the aftermath. The bomb has gone off, there's dead bodies everywhere, the deer are fine, the crows are fine, the guys are dead, the cops are dead.

SPEAKER_02 48:19

I'm sad about the clothes going kaboom. I reach into the other bag and I find a shirt that says it's like a funny shirt. And it says slut, but in the Shrek font. A little ears on the S. That was my wife's favorite funny shirt.

SPEAKER_11 48:39

And then I I and then I'm like, you're gonna love this. And I find a pirate DVD of Shrek. My wife's favorite movie.

SPEAKER_07 48:47

So I just want to say there's a lot of sort of like uh real-world sort of uh intellectual property being introduced into this fantasy universe. And so I feel like we should try to, if we can, sort of put a twist on it, put a fantasy twist on it. So it's it's not Shrek, it's you know, it's it's Shrek, exactly, or something like that. So we can we know what we're referencing.

SPEAKER_08 49:09

Shrek in this world is about a bunch of ogres, and one of them is a human. Oh, yeah, it's all flipsy doodle. That's good.

SPEAKER_02 49:16

And instead of Donkey.

SPEAKER_08 49:18

Yeah, I was gonna wonder about Donkey. He's he's just Eddie Murphy.

SPEAKER_02 49:23

Yeah, it's it's Eddie Murphy. He's the only live action character. And he's on all fours like a donkey. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 49:32

Suddenly in the distance, you hear a faint echoing in the woods. Then we go like this.

SPEAKER_08 49:41

Okay. Okay, we we we all have to run and get the cat.

unknown 49:45

Gotta get it, gotta get it.

SPEAKER_06 49:47

I gotta get that thing!

SPEAKER_07 49:49

And suddenly, in like beautiful, fluid motion, covered in hoods and moving swiftly and quietly, a army, a rogue army of cats with spears and bows and arrows come out from the trees, surround you, and draw their weapons, holding you in sort of uh arrested sort of fashion, and they go, You have entered the territory of the Whisker Knives.

SPEAKER_08 50:18

And I look at all the spears and I go, Yeah, I get the point. Okay.

SPEAKER_11 50:24

Yeah, and I look at the camera and I go, I go, This looks like we're gonna be the fancy feast.

SPEAKER_07 50:32

Okay, I will warn you. I just have to warn you because this is where we're gonna stop the session, but that do remember that catchphrases and like punny expressions do set you guys off. Yeah, yeah. Okay, yeah.

SPEAKER_06 50:45

That's something we've established.

SPEAKER_11 50:48

If there's one more, we're gonna pop off.

SPEAKER_05 50:50

You're gonna pop off, and that could mean like a whole other situation. One more. Can we have one of the cats' phone go bzz? Okay, so their thin brick, as we've called it, goes off. So the one cat, they all kind of like they keep their weapons on you, but the one cat does answer and he goes, Yes?

SPEAKER_02 51:08

And uh the guy on the other end of the phone goes, all you all you guys get back here right away.

SPEAKER_06 51:18

The weapons are still on you.

SPEAKER_07 51:20

And now you've entered into a whole other world of intimidation and maybe pain. Wow. Okay.

SPEAKER_08 51:28

Oh no. Good call.

SPEAKER_07 51:30

Good try. Good literal call. But yeah, I think we'll I think we'll end it there because we did the road version and now we'll see if you can get out of this bandit incursion. Oh wow.

SPEAKER_02 51:43

I'm really excited to see what happens. Um, I want to see more of the wizard uh in the in the radio station. Yeah, we can see that.

SPEAKER_08 51:50

I want to see what happens at the school with with Officer Stevenson.

SPEAKER_07 51:53

You know what? Maybe here's what I'll promise you guys. We'll start with the wizard on the radio tomorrow. It'll be like that's how the episode starts. You know what I mean?

unknown 52:02

Cool.

SPEAKER_07 52:02

It'll be like the wizard doing a little bit of like update on the news, the weather. Whoa. And then throwing to uh a fun song that we'll then use as the opening soundtrack for this quite perilous predicament. Yeah.

SPEAKER_11 52:15

You're gonna write a song?

SPEAKER_07 52:17

No, it's gonna be a real world song. But it'll be fantasy tweaked. Yeah, it'll be fantasy tweaked. Fantasy tweaked. You guys got ideas for maybe uh tweak fantasy tweak songs?

SPEAKER_08 52:28

If you like it, then you should have put the one true ring on it.

SPEAKER_01 52:31

The one true ring on the one true ring on it.

SPEAKER_02 52:36

Which better have my money.

SPEAKER_07 52:40

Money, money. Money. Money's still there. Uh, but we've also got a lot of uh B plots we can touch in with. The cop who ran away to his son. You know what's going on with that. We've got the crows, the crows, and the deer. He has the chick, the chickadee documentary crew. Why these three guys were on vacation. Maybe someone comes looking for those three guys. You know what I mean? This could kind of turn into a blues brothers situation where you just accumulate more and more people who you're on the run from trying to get to Dog London.

SPEAKER_02 53:14

Those three guys could be okay.

SPEAKER_07 53:17

They were dead. They were dead.

SPEAKER_11 53:20

It was a direct hit, a 19. Those three guys could be aware of the.

SPEAKER_02 53:27

We're not sure, though.

SPEAKER_07 53:29

Yeah, jury's still out. The three guys could come back, I guess. They could come back as ghosts. You know what? That's true. We should we could get some hard-living ghosts. I promise you what we will talk to those three guys again. I promise you that, because I did like them and we didn't get to hear enough from them.

SPEAKER_04 53:48

No, we didn't.

SPEAKER_07 53:49

So, again, anyway, so we end the party. You guys are surrounded by the whisker knives. Yeah. Thoroughly surrounded. In enemy territory, your Bronco is overturned, your kayak useless. You still have a cannon, so I guess you'll probably. We still have half a tank of gas if we ever get the car.

SPEAKER_01 54:06

Okay, so, anyways, this has been another edition of the of the party that won't stop.

SPEAKER_07 54:12

Pet Smart. Join us next week for another edition of the Pet Smart Cardinals.