Nightmare Party - Crabopolis

Pudding and Jesus Christ take a trip to Crabopolis with special guest Taz VanRassel.

Transcript

SPEAKER_05 0:14

Hey, welcome back to Nightmare Party, the DD adjacent comedy podcast hosted by me, your dungeon master, your games master, Ryan Beal, where I finally convinced a bunch of my very funny, very cool, very affable comedian friends to play kind of a version of DD. We're doing DD light. We do roll some dice, but not all the dice. Anyways, you'll see as we go on. So I'm going to do a little recap of what happened in last week's episode. So right off the top, uh Mark Chavez, who's a regular, um, he's actually away on a family vacation in Costa Rica. So his character, Golf, who's a wizard named Golf with a nine iron for a magic wand who just does golf puns. Anyways, he ran away into the water or the jungle somewhere else. And when he gets back, we'll figure out where he went on his solo adventure. But the the bulk of the episode last week was Jesus Christ, a cleric played by Kevin Lee, who worships at the church of LDS, which stands for long devouring snake, a lot of snake stuff in that religion. And pudding, the orc stand-up comedian played by Mark Little, um, they ran away from a gigantic crab mother. And we're talking like when I say gigantic, like she's the size of a three-story walk-up apartment building. And she's the mother of a also pretty big baby crab, like a size of a Volkswagen rabbit, I think we were talking about, that they killed in a previous episode. Anyways, even though I was clearly trying to steer them towards some pretty cool runes in the jungle, they decided to turn around and reason and talk to the giant crab mother. And with the aid of a barrage of sand spells conjured by Jesus Christ, and I'm talking about like uh you made like full like uh cops wake you might see in the wire with all sand cops and like a lot of sand guys and gals, and then inexplicably a full-on holiday-in downtown experience made of sand. They were able to not only make friends with the giant crab mother, but now pudding is is dating her. They're in a relationship, and we left them at the end of the episode heading down into the crab world, the crab metropolis, the crab city, uh, to meet her friends and family. Also, right at the end, they were also somehow able to conjure up a bunch of breathing apparatus, breathing apparatuses, also made of sand, so they can totally breathe underwater now. And that's what happened last week. Uh, and so here we are now. And we have a very special guest joining us. Uh, gonna come in and and and play a character, some kind of character we're gonna meet and interact with here. Um it's Tazman Cody Van Rassel. Taz, are you ready to play some DD? Yeah, happy to be here. I got a heart out at 1230, guys. Okay, great. That's fantastic. So, yeah, we so we'll probably have to get you in right at the top of the top of the episode there. That's fine. That's cool. Uh so Taz, um, do you have any like um do you have any inkling about like uh what kind of character you want to play? So we have a wizard uh who's who's Mark uh uh Kevin's a cleric.

SPEAKER_03 3:18

It's kind of I know exactly what I'd like to play, Ryan. I'd like to play a succubus. A succubus.

SPEAKER_05 3:24

Okay, so that's like can you describe what a succubus is in your words?

SPEAKER_03 3:28

It's a female demon that uh seduces, sexually seduces men in their dreams.

SPEAKER_02 3:35

Okay, nice.

SPEAKER_03 3:36

Only in their dreams and has sex with them and and and deprives them of their semen until they die. Okay, great.

SPEAKER_05 3:45

That's cool thing. Are you okay with that? I don't know. I think that'll actually be pretty good. You're kind of gonna play a heel turn, a villain uh that they might encounter in this in this episode. Um what do you uh Mark and Kevin? You guys think that's kind of fun? That's kind of interesting, like succubus character.

SPEAKER_11 3:59

Yeah.

unknown 4:00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_14 4:00

I like the thought I like the threat of being deprived of my seaman until I die. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 4:04

You know what? Maybe actually what we'll do is you will encounter your. Yeah, that's the twist. That's a good twist. Great twist. That's a twist we're all waiting to hear about. Absolutely. So I feel like um, do you have a name for your character, Tez? I have not yet. Should I roll for name? Well, I mean, thank you for asking about it. I mean, why did you just do you a do you have a what do you think a succubus might be called? I mean, we have Jesus Christ, we have pudding, we have golf. Mm-hmm. What do you think? Uh, how about uh uh just like a bunch of M's? Yeah. Okay, let's go with it. So um, Taz, you're gonna be kind of in the wings, but I think like we're gonna encounter you in both um Jesus Christ and Pudding's dreams. You know what I mean? It's an option.

SPEAKER_03 4:58

I could also be a male demon called an incubus. Oh, like the band. No, yeah the incubus came before the band. Okay, yeah.

SPEAKER_05 5:07

But what does an incubus do? Same thing, but he's a man. Okay, any any preference from the from the room?

SPEAKER_11 5:16

Uh no preference.

SPEAKER_05 5:17

Let's do succubus. Let's do succubus. Okay, great. Okay, so let's uh let's we'll take you down into Crab City, okay? So uh you're going down. Do we have a name for the giant mother crab, by the way? We don't. She's just giant mother crab. Crab lady. Yeah, crab lady. We'll call her crab lady. Because uh you kind of have a uh Han and Chewy situation where you can kind of understand her, right, Pudding? Even though she talks.

SPEAKER_14 5:42

She started talking.

SPEAKER_05 5:44

Oh, she did, yeah. It's at the end of the episode. Uh just to make it easier. She just talks English now. Right.

SPEAKER_09 5:48

Yeah. So she goes, Are you ready with your breathing apparatus?

SPEAKER_11 5:54

Yeah, sweetie. Yes down we go.

SPEAKER_09 5:58

Okay, well, it's a long journey down. I'm talking many leagues. Perhaps we should rest and sleep first.

SPEAKER_11 6:06

Uh no, let's get started.

SPEAKER_09 6:08

Okay.

SPEAKER_14 6:09

I'll sleep while you guys stay awake if that's cool.

SPEAKER_09 6:13

Okay, you take first sleep, and me and my beautiful partner will be awake going down deep. I will pince you in my claws, but we have to go many leagues under the sea to Krebopolis.

SPEAKER_11 6:27

Okay. Gosh, gosh, before you fall asleep, uh Jesus. I'm so nervous. I gotta meet her friends. What if they don't like me? What if I meet her parents and her family?

SPEAKER_14 6:40

Well, you just have to take it one step at a time and trust that the long devouring snake has a plan for us all. He will hold you up with his stiffness, and he will guide you directly into the pit of all your worries and guide you back out again. That is the promise of the long devouring snake.

SPEAKER_11 6:57

Sounds like it's just gonna make me anxious.

SPEAKER_14 7:00

No, he's guiding you on his on his stiff body in and out of danger over and over again.

SPEAKER_11 7:07

Do me a favor. Yes. Stay awake for this journey. I need someone to talk to.

SPEAKER_14 7:12

Why are you not you're not gonna talk to your crab mistress? I thought maybe you'd want to say sweet nothings and exchange names and just so nerd. But you can always wake me up whenever you need to.

SPEAKER_11 7:25

Okay.

SPEAKER_09 7:26

Everything okay?

SPEAKER_11 7:28

Yes, honey. Uh I'm just realizing something. I love you with all my heart, but I never got your name.

SPEAKER_09 7:35

Oh, my name? My name. My name. My name is interesting. My name. My name. That's almost as if you haven't thought of it before. My name. Is Dactyl. Dactyl.

SPEAKER_14 7:55

Dactyl.

SPEAKER_09 7:57

Dactyl. Gorgeous. D-A-C-T-Y-L. Dactyl.

SPEAKER_11 8:01

I'm not gonna have to spell it, but beautiful.

SPEAKER_09 8:05

Okay, so your friend's gonna go to sleep, order's gonna talk.

SPEAKER_11 8:08

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_09 8:09

Okay. Everyone got their sand breeding apparatus on.

SPEAKER_05 8:13

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_09 8:14

Here we go. Deep into the sea.

SPEAKER_05 8:16

And like a uh sort of a nuclear-sized submarine, it starts to submerge down, and it's a long journey, and you look into the depths below, and slowly Jesus Christ instantly gets lulled into a sort of a deep sleep. Okay, deep sleep. And in your mind, what do you what do you see in your mind before we reveal the succubus here?

SPEAKER_14 8:40

Oh my god, succubus. Um what I what I'm thinking, um I'm dreaming about um the seminary. Um but in my dreams it's all sand, given all of the sand stuff that we just been through. So my dreams are back in the seminary, but it's all sand, and I'm like, oh that's just different.

SPEAKER_11 8:56

You boy, you boy, you boy. Oh yes, sir, yes, sir. If you ever want to be a cleric, you have to follow the rules. Yes, father, of course, father. What what rules? Uh remind me of the rules, please. The rules are you treat us elders with respect.

SPEAKER_14 9:14

Yes, of course, of course.

SPEAKER_11 9:15

No more running around with your friends. No more fun at all.

SPEAKER_14 9:20

Oh okay, okay, no fun, yes, of course. Asceticism, yes, we I can do that, yes.

SPEAKER_11 9:25

Fetch me a ham.

SPEAKER_14 9:28

Okay, yeah. Uh oh, and then like a sand ham appears, like ah yes, uh here, here's your ham, sir. Yes, yes, father, of course.

SPEAKER_11 9:35

Uh nasty! Fetch me a better ham.

SPEAKER_14 9:38

Ah, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

SPEAKER_11 9:40

Thank you, boy. Oh no.

SPEAKER_07 9:54

On with you! And get the ham! Uh oh!

SPEAKER_05 9:58

Oh, oh, uh So you have to go down maybe to like the the kitchen area where maybe you'll encounter someone in your dream.

SPEAKER_14 10:08

Yeah, so I run down to the uh to the uh I guess is it called the scullery or the uh nice, sure.

SPEAKER_05 10:14

The larder.

SPEAKER_14 10:15

The larder, yeah. And I'm down there and I'm like, oh, hams, hams, where are the hams? I'm in the H section. I'm like, oh uh Yeah, it's all alphabetical. Here beau, uh other H foods I can't think of at the moment. Uh and and then and then I look around and I put my hand on another hand, and I'm like, oh, that's you, Tess.

SPEAKER_03 10:36

And that's me. Yeah, and and then and then he looks up, and and it's a beautiful woman wearing like a puffy North Face jacket. Okay, but oh that's it. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_14 10:49

So no bottoms?

SPEAKER_03 10:51

Yeah, but it's long. Yeah, so it's still hot. It's still tasteful.

SPEAKER_13 10:55

I can't really tell if you're wearing nothing or not. It's sort of just yeah, but I am not. Yeah, or not, okay.

SPEAKER_05 11:02

I am not wearing nothing or something. What do you say to Jesus Christ in his dream? Or Jesus Christ, what do you say to this beautiful woman?

SPEAKER_14 11:08

Oh so sorry. I I didn't see you there. I'm looking for a big juicy ham, the best one we have for the for the for the for the head father.

SPEAKER_03 11:16

It's okay. I'm not startled.

SPEAKER_14 11:20

Uh yes. I have a question for you. Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_03 11:25

Are you tired of being spanked by a priest?

SPEAKER_14 11:30

I I I supp I suppose so. Yes, although one must never tire of being corrected to the correct way of honoring the long devouring snake. You know, yes.

SPEAKER_03 11:41

May I interest you in laying with me? Oh, oh goodness.

SPEAKER_14 11:49

Do you say zip? Yeah. He said zip. He said zip, but didn't unzip yet. Oh, I see. Like the thread of the zip.

SPEAKER_03 11:58

Zip? Okay.

SPEAKER_14 12:00

Do you want me to unzip you?

SPEAKER_03 12:01

Uh I'm letting you know it's a possibility. My name is Mmm.

SPEAKER_14 12:06

Oh, hello. My name is Jesus Jesus H Christ. The H stands for Ham.

SPEAKER_03 12:12

It's a nice name.

SPEAKER_14 12:13

Thank you.

SPEAKER_03 12:14

Full disclosure. If you lay with me, I will gradually over time deplete you of your semen and you will die.

SPEAKER_05 12:22

So so your succubus just is like has all their cards on the table. It's consent. There's no trickery, there's no siren song, it's just okay.

SPEAKER_03 12:32

I'm I'm still like attractive.

SPEAKER_14 12:35

Yeah. Yeah. So uh if I understand correctly, is that in exchange for uh my semen and then subsequently my death, I get to lay with a beautiful what I assume is maybe attractive to me woman underneath a coat.

SPEAKER_03 12:51

And in this dream, I am what you make. So you don't like the coat, change it.

SPEAKER_14 12:56

Oh wow. I go, I close my eyes and I'm like I open my eyes, and her body is just a big ham, and I'm like, it's okay.

SPEAKER_05 13:04

You love hams. Okay. Okay.

SPEAKER_14 13:06

Just in this dream, I really want to get a perfect ham.

SPEAKER_05 13:09

Yeah, okay. So I'm just gonna fast forward this a little bit.

SPEAKER_14 13:12

You don't want to see the F-sex of the ham?

SPEAKER_05 13:15

No, well, I mean, you can describe it if you want, but I think you've you've found out what Jesus Christ is into hams. You've been seduced by this succubus who can be anything to anyone at any moment in their dreams.

SPEAKER_03 13:27

I think it's sort of like a I gotta be honest, I wasn't expecting the ham thing, and like I don't know if I'm comfortable with it.

SPEAKER_05 13:32

Oh, are you Taz or are you succubus? Are you mmm?

SPEAKER_14 13:35

That's a succubus thing.

SPEAKER_05 13:37

Okay.

SPEAKER_14 13:38

Oh, I'm so sorry. Like maybe some legs and arms, and then uh okay, and then I go do and I dream that that she has legs and arms with her pig legs and big arms. Jesus Christ. Okay.

SPEAKER_03 13:54

Pig arms. That seems that feels better.

SPEAKER_11 13:59

That seems better to me. I come downstairs and I go, Where's my ham? Oh, you boy!

SPEAKER_02 14:10

Are you on the verge of fornication? Uh uh Demon be gone, boy, to me.

SPEAKER_14 14:24

And I like swirl through the air, like like my butt lands like into his hand.

SPEAKER_03 14:32

And then all of a sudden, uh the priest spanks me by accident, and I get spanked so hard I go into the the waking world. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_05 14:45

You say you've never played DD before. That's awesome. That's awesome.

SPEAKER_03 14:48

I watched a movie or something.

SPEAKER_05 14:50

Yeah, nice. Okay, great, great. Okay, so let's cut like so like now we have uh you're in the real world.

SPEAKER_11 14:56

So I startle awake and and suddenly. Buddy, wake up, wake up. You're having a nightmare.

SPEAKER_14 15:02

Oh my god. Ham. Oh, it was all just a hammer. Oh uh what?

SPEAKER_11 15:11

Um, excuse me?

SPEAKER_14 15:14

What?

SPEAKER_11 15:15

Uh you're talking like a maniac. I think you're still half asleep.

SPEAKER_14 15:21

Uh, who's that over there?

SPEAKER_03 15:24

Who is this? Who are you? What is this world?

SPEAKER_14 15:29

With my breathing apparatus in, I look up and down, I see you with the North Face jacket, but it's clearly like Red A Ham body with like trotters sticking out of the sleeves and sticking out of the bottom two little pig legs.

SPEAKER_11 15:40

Um are you in any way responsible for this pig lady in a big puffy coat?

SPEAKER_14 15:46

Uh I think I might be. Oh, what's wrong with my brain? My magic is going to be.

SPEAKER_03 15:51

Fantasy has become reality.

SPEAKER_11 15:55

Oh my god. I guess this trip just turned into a double date.

SPEAKER_14 16:01

I think it's a bit of surf a turf on the menu, if you know what I mean. I try and keep modified.

SPEAKER_05 16:07

And then and then and then as you're descending, the giant uh uh dactyl goes, Look, the crab gate. And you're going down finally deep, and in front of you is a giant, ornate gate made out of shells and claws, and and the and the and the the sort of molted armor of various millions of crabs in this huge gate with two big crab guards standing uh guard out front.

SPEAKER_11 16:40

I go like this, I say, I say, anyone else getting hungry? No, no, no, no, no. That's an old that's a bad joke. What? No, no, no, no, no. That's the old me.

SPEAKER_09 16:50

Okay. Hey, just careful.

SPEAKER_11 16:54

I know, I know, I know.

SPEAKER_09 16:55

We have to pass through security with the crab guards. We all have to be cool, okay? They're gonna come back.

SPEAKER_03 17:01

Can we roll for them falling asleep?

SPEAKER_09 17:04

Who? The crab guards?

SPEAKER_03 17:05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 17:06

You want to roll to see if the crab guards fall asleep? And then I can do my thing. Oh, I see. Okay, you know what? Yeah, sure. You know what? This is your first roll, Taz. It's gonna be pretty hard. So you have your dice roller open on your phone. Great. So we only use D20s here. It's gonna be very if if you roll a 20 or a 19, they fall asleep. They fall asleep and then I can seduce and kill them. Then you can seduce and kill them, which I think is you can always ask, sure. But it's gonna be hard. 16. Yeah, they do not fall asleep. They're wide awake, they're drinking crab coffee, they're guards at the gate. You know what I mean? But good good question. Great question. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_11 17:46

Hey man, are you drinking your crab coffee black?

SPEAKER_04 17:48

Yeah, uh, I hate crab cream. I hate crab oat milk. I ate all the fake crab milks, you know?

SPEAKER_11 17:55

You're out of your mind, man. That that stuff makes it so bitter on my stomach if I drink it black.

SPEAKER_05 18:02

Not me.

SPEAKER_11 18:02

I get I get a stomachache.

SPEAKER_05 18:05

Not me.

SPEAKER_04 18:06

I like my coffee like I like my dark ocean abysses. Black and full of weird fishes that have like kind of neoluminescent or whatever. Anyway, woo!

SPEAKER_09 18:17

What's this?

SPEAKER_04 18:19

Who goes there?

SPEAKER_09 18:20

Be cool, I'll answer. And my name is Dakto. I am a citizen of Crabopolis, and these are my three friends. Pudding, my guy, Jesus Christ, his friend, and also this new character that came out of Jesus Christ's brain, who I think is outdating him. Kind of an open thing. Named Mmm. We desire passage into Krebopolis. Everything cool?

SPEAKER_05 18:53

Well, not necessarily. Let me uh ask everyone a question. Uh Jesus Christ. What is your purpose of coming to Krebopolis?

SPEAKER_14 19:01

Ah, my purpose is to uh understand your culture and also to uh see if anyone has any interest in the church of the long devouring snake and understanding of what you're doing.

SPEAKER_11 19:11

Oh my god, save the missionary crap. They're not gonna like that, dude. You gotta bury the lead here.

SPEAKER_14 19:18

Oh, uh I'm here to help my I'm I'm I'm a tour manager for my my client here, this uh wonderful stand-up community. Works! Works! Oh no! Works!

SPEAKER_05 19:28

I'm hearing all of this. I'm hearing all of this.

SPEAKER_14 19:31

Uh no, no, no, no. Uh I'm I'm I'm here to do uh uh sand art.

SPEAKER_05 19:37

Ooh, we love sand art down here, actually. That's one of our favorite art forms. Great. Okay. Pudding, same question.

SPEAKER_11 19:47

I'm here with my beautiful lady. Um I just want to see her hometown and uh sort of get the lay of the land and maybe meet some of her people.

SPEAKER_05 19:56

That's nice. That's nice. It's kind of like a hometown on The Bachelor. We have that here. And finally, succubus, uh named mmm. Yeah. Okay. Now when you say zip, Taz, are you are you unzipping? Or are you just saying zip? Well, you tell me, you're the dungeon master. Okay, but you have agency. You do have agency. So I just I think it's I think it's cool if you I'm I'm letting them know they have the option to unzip. So you're saying zip with a question. Yeah, and I'm ellipsey's in a question. Wow. Ooh, I'm not attracted. You're a you're a you're a ham. Sorry, are you still a ham with are you with pig legs? Is that what you are? I'm currently a ham with pig legs, yes.

SPEAKER_03 20:39

But in a giant hoppy north face.

SPEAKER_11 20:41

My character says, oh, talk about surfing turf. I go, hey, get out of here with that. And then and then and then uh and then but this time pudding's like, ha ha, totally, brother.

SPEAKER_14 20:56

Jesus Christ is like, wow, he liked one of my jokes. He stole one of my jokes.

SPEAKER_11 21:00

I liked it when he said it.

SPEAKER_05 21:02

So the uh the the crabs kind of can kind of can talk to each other a little bit. Um uh and then they say, You can come in if you answer one riddle. Okay? One riddle. Oh here. I'm just finding one riddle. Okay, here we go. What did the hermit crab say to the other hermit crab?

unknown 21:28

Oh dear.

SPEAKER_11 21:29

Oh my god. Alright, I'm gonna attack these guys. I roll to attack.

SPEAKER_08 21:35

Okay, so we're in we're in we're in combat.

SPEAKER_05 21:40

We're in combat. Now, normally in DD there would be a long procedure about like rolling for initiative, who goes what in the when turn based system. But I'm gonna let you guys because you got the jump on them. You all are now engaged in a fight with these two crab guards who are just kind of like doing their job, drinking their crab coffee at the at the big gates. So I'm gonna let you all say what you do and then probably. do a roll and see how it all turns out. You know what I mean? So it starts with pudding, putting how do you how do you attack and what do you do?

SPEAKER_11 22:06

Um I'm gonna I'm gonna uh just beat the fuck out of them. I'm gonna go fist first. Okay, on one of them or both of them? Both of them at the same time.

SPEAKER_05 22:17

So you're gonna try to beat the fuck out of both of them. You're gonna jump and try to like kind of punch bah bah yeah water punches. Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah water punches and stuff. So I I so it's I think I'm gonna I'm gonna make you roll okay I feel like I feel like 15 and above you're gonna get like nice shots on either of them. Okay. Well guess what I rolled a 20 so oh my god he like obliterates that in D D terms that's like a perfect roll and so in the way we're playing it you just you called your shot much like Babe Ruth or whatever. Yeah and you you do you you so I'm gonna let you describe how it looks and sounds as in front of your girlfriend who is a crab yeah uh and your your your your your two friends your one new friend who's you know a hand based occupist uh what it looks like as you beat the fuck out of these two crab guards. Yeah so I don't want to trigger um Jesus Christ here but I launch fist first at the first crab ow then I grab the other crab by the leg so not a lot of description in there but a lot of soundscape so I guess that's just you just you just punch you punch the hell out of them and they're they're they're do they explode do you get their shell off you know are they just unconscious are they dead it's all up to you.

SPEAKER_11 23:58

I think I just knock them both out really hard.

SPEAKER_05 24:01

Nice it looks kind of cool and I'm gonna say that um Dactyl is like actually quite impressed like she wasn't expecting this but like your your deft sort of uh ability to then these are like high level crab security force C CSF uh agents at the at the crab gate so like she's like wow that's pretty that's pretty cool even though she's the size of a building she could have I guess like stomped them or whatever but uh she's actually impressed uh Jesus Christ and um are also taken aback and so now you're you're at the crab gates with no guards.

SPEAKER_03 24:42

Is it safe to say that they are now asleep? Oh yeah let's go into the dreams yeah I'm just gonna go in there do my thing and let's let's go into it like we are gonna go into it so which crab do you want to do first?

SPEAKER_05 25:00

There was the one drinking black coffee and there was the one who can't drink black black coffee so the the black coffee one okay can mark play that black the black coffee drinking crab absolutely I'll allow that yes and uh uh Kevin I want you to play uh another character uh of course Taz your mmm the secondist but you'll you'll have to describe how you appear to seduce this crab character obviously and so we're into the dreamscape um so it's like yeah it's a city neither none none of us are familiar with it's crabopolis so it's like a big you know I think we've seen a lot of cartoons with like an underwater city like a Flintstone style lots of like caves on top of each other but like hundreds of them you know or maybe where um Jar Jar Banks lives doesn't he live underwater maybe anyway so like an underwater city like a big like uh Atlantis style city underwater and this crab wakes up in his one bedroom crab apartment wow yeah played by Mark oh I must be dreaming oh I oh I'm a little boy again a little boy crab at the seminary or an apartment I'm out I'm out oh wait yeah oh but now I don't want to who are you i that's it doesn't matter doesn't matter hi hi hubba hub nope nope good to see you that's all what do you see mark mark the crab what is what is what is the attempted illusion that mmm is taken I see a beautiful crab gal she's wearing uh nothing but a north face jacket and her uh little eyes have eyelashes on them and they go and and she goes blink blink blink blink when she blinks and I and then I go like this hub hubba and I go like this yeah yeah yeah and then right right next to him is a is a cabinet and inside a Zoltar and it's like if you want cast a wish with me is it a crab Zoltar?

SPEAKER_11 27:13

Yeah nice so that'll make me big if I wish on that yep okay okay so I'm a little little boy crab at this moment Zoltar Zoltar I wish for a condom absolutely you shall get one and it shall be lubricated with melted butter for her pleasure yeah and it goes when it comes out of the ticket holder thing. Yeah I gotta be I I honestly I don't know even if you did get big from the wish I've already seen you as a boy no thank you no I go damn it I got rejected by the first woman that I was ever attracted to I hate women up comic. Yeah and then I go I go to my crab computer and I log on to the message boards in your dream yeah so that's the end of that dream you have the other you have the other crab this I'm gonna get with Kevin to play the other crab.

SPEAKER_14 28:12

Okay yeah okay so I'm starting to get weak at this point too because I I haven't oh you haven't got any succubus you need the semen to get strong right to stay strong yeah okay so like this is your this is it maybe your last chance based on your heart out in 15 minutes so right so Kevin you're the you're the crab that couldn't drink black coffee that likes uh uh crab coffee with crab cream and and such um and so uh let's say you're uh you wake up in even more of a dreamscape you wake up in um a weird uh a field of uh seaweed a seaweed forest okay I'm like uh seaweed uh it's tickling my crab body oh and this coffee this giant oversized coffee I have is so black I need to make some crab cream oh I have so much crab cream build up and you the big who's there the crab yeah it is I oh my god I'm um your father yes daddy big daddy I have to make cream for my coffee and all the seaweed is tickling my body at this point realizes that that Mark's character is actually another incubus that keeps showing up in my dreams and trying to steal my plunder come over here I gain power from laying my hand upon your bottom oh yes I have so much cream to give enough huh enough incubus I know your game it is I oh mmm I should have known it was you invading the dreams that I rightfully uh that they're mine to uh invade.

SPEAKER_11 30:02

North face jackets two giant cups of coffee with pig legs I I invaded this uh crab's dream first I'm here I get to I get the semen we're both here at the same time I was here first what what about they whisper they're whispering what did they say what are they agreeing upon now what we whispered was an agreement that we would both have sex with you if you're interested simultaneously yes but we would take all the semen and you would die immediately okay he's into it crazy brother you're crazy but we promise you the time of your you've given you you're you're promising to give of yourself to us yeah we're gonna give you the time of your life all right now we're in uh now we're in a uh uh some some like nice music starts to play and we're in like a really sexy zone yeah yeah can I roll to dance good yeah sure absolutely it'll be an easy roll eight you dance bad I don't know if that's gonna affect everything but you dance pretty bad come on not turning them on okay I'm gonna roll to uh dance good okay easy roll five you dance even worse boner's going down oh no my crap boner keep rolling I guess try to dance good eighteen you dance good you dance good fourteen you dance good too now you're back in the now you're back in business yeah okay and then we gotta we want to risk it before we get into the bed we want to dance some more dance roll eleven Taz okay um dances so bad it's uh irre irreparable yeah and what did you roll Mark Little uh eleven okay you also dance it's like fine but it's not great oh uh I'm not sure what to do this awkwardness uh can I roll to see like how this is affecting me like is this because it could be that like bad dancing is actually like a weird kink or something like that like something sure like yeah so let me think for a second yeah how it's affecting you sure give me a roll 12 12 yeah you are definitely connected to the dance and so like it's like the the bad dancing and the mediocre dancing is like taking you right out of it. Oh so I'm not turned on you like it when they dance good you really don't like it when they dance bad or maybe you're ruining this with your bad dancing no you gotta stop stop dancing that bad you're turning him off you're turning his bonus off his uh the butter upon which we I'm losing my life force maybe it's I who need to dance dancing why to turn them on to so that you stay alive you want to die so much for us yeah that's all I've actually ever wanted was to die in a horny sexual way big climax.

SPEAKER_05 33:36

Are you doing a dance roll Kevin? Yes I gotta do a dance roll 17 you dance great oh yeah oh now I'm jealous of how good he dances I can't get hard oh no oh god this is so complicated sex is such a complicated thing you can have him I'm gone what the hell are you just leaving incubus gone incubus gone and of course um dancing so bad and I guess crab with cream in crab coffee you know what at this point you just wake up I just oh my god and so we're back in the real world one of the crabs is still asleep one of the crabs has woken up and of course um succubus is very weak got it getting nut from these dreams and when I woke up I'm like oh did I like expecting that I I had like a wet dream but I didn't I'm like oh disappointed yeah you're sad I wanted to queen and and then the other crab goes catch those awful women right by the dream yeah the dream turned him uh he's gone incel mode or in shell mode shit in shell voluntary shell of it uh so they're both awake again but they're weak I guess I don't know if Pudding wants to beat them up again or they're gonna we still haven't entered so we're half an hour in all right you know what fuck this fuck this sorry guys sorry I beat the hell out of you let's go somewhere else I don't need to go in here let's go somewhere else you're not going to grab our friends I don't need to it's too much I'm never gonna meet my friends and family oh my god can they come to us they can clearly leave easier than we can enter I guess but okay let's go to like a restaurant nearby is there a restaurant nearby no it's a magical deserted island like a duty free uh shop outside here before we cross the border I don't know what's that place that what's that that looks like a family restaurant yeah you so you point so there's like I guess a border town family restaurant where like myrrh people and fish people and like aquamen style people because there's lots of other people in the magical waters not just crabs so yeah it's like a family style border restaurant yeah let's go there um in the in the distance okay great and how are you doing help help pull me along hey brother look after your gal oh yeah yeah sorry sorry I I I Okay here's what I need you to do this is wingman vibes okay uh I'm gonna I'm gonna I'm gonna try and uh take things to the next level with my beautiful dactyl yes of course and you just gotta you gotta keep the vibe up with your gal you know you can't let her die on you oh okay I guess I'll have to find her some semen somewhere the long the long devouring steak does provide maybe the family restaurant has some roe or like some some some fish cum on the now rem no remember what you need is to get your succubus into the dream of someone who's asleep or unconscious.

SPEAKER_08 37:00

Oh okay okay that's the only way that the succubus can they have to invite me in Jesus my dream yes that was the whole we're kind of a couple now oh yeah I I guess so okay you go to sleep you're going to sleep again yep okay great going to sleep again we're back in Jesus Christ dream yeah back in the seminary we're back in the seminary with oh no I'm a little boy again what the heck you there boy yes oh dear where's my ham oh no it's the headmaster again you again what is your name incubus my name is hmm oh great and it can only be one oh wow so they fight I fight you okay fight time some roles it can't just be sounds okay so I feel wait fight you no we're not just doing mime and sounds okay we gotta roll because there's some kind of roll here okay so I think it's gonna be roll for roll right now okay roll for roll whoever has the higher number wins the fight and then we can describe how it goes just to sort of expediate it okay I rolled a four okay Tez also a four oh my god roll again roll again so okay wait this is this first round you it's a tie what happens in uh describe the fight okay I go in uh with my spanking hand so my palms wide open I'm going in for a slap on her butt yeah yeah and I go in with my unzipping hand and we just end up high fiving okay so it's just kind of an awkward high five kind of low and high five it sounds like this good great forgot the sound roll again again higher roll wins the fight bad news I rolled a two okay rolled a three the worst fight ever okay so you barely beat the incubus barely beats the succubus yeah how does it how does it this time we just kind of like hug but but the incubus hugs me a bit harder bit too hard and then I little bit I so I slide a knife into her back wow wow it's a three roll yeah maybe not I try to I try to but it's the wrong kind of it's like a butter knife and it doesn't go in.

SPEAKER_11 39:54

I did say higher roll wins the fight yeah I I did say that you know one more roll sure one more roll one more roll so like you you you got a you got a knife a little bit in you've done a little bit of damage there 13 I rolled a five okay so back at back again so what do you do succubus okay I unzip for real not this one this time it goes zzz nice you made it then I take off the jacket and wrap it around the incubus and zip it back up but backwards over his face wow okay so that you know what I mean that I think this is you know what I mean well I think what's gonna happen now is like it's sort of shaking then I go I go like this I go I go I go I can't see where am I what it help me and then I run I I just start panic running and I run towards a window of the seminary like one of those stone there's no glass just a stone window yeah and I I fall out of it I go and then I land on the rocks below and I go and that means you went out together I believe I believe you took there was like Oh no I I unzipped my jacket.

SPEAKER_14 41:11

Oh you're out of the jacket yeah yeah okay incubus dead incubus dead incubus dead and then in my my last breath I go like this next time you have sex think of me I think he's saying I should have sex with him right now before he dies and then I'll stay alive that's what he's saying no okay remember me remember me remember wow i was I was hoping to get a bit of semen out of that but no incubus has I don't think incubus has has I go will this do and I point down in front and there's a big pile of semen in front of me because the fight turned me out so much that I I I say are you still a little boy and I go no I'm out and then I I explode into a puff of smoke.

SPEAKER_05 42:02

Oh wow hey we're right at 1230 we're gonna continue on with our little mission but like Taz Van Rassel maybe we'll see again you know you were in and out you tried to get what you needed as a succubus you just couldn't find it they kept turning into children they wouldn't play ball what a crazy world really was a fight you had many opportunities you had a dream with Jesus Christ you had two crab dreams then you had another Jesus Christ dream and it just didn't work out for uh you had an epic fight with the incubus so you did uh you know you did find an incubus which you uh at the beginning you sort of outlined there could be an incubus and we found one and killed one so we did a lot of dream dancing today and that was very cool and so you know uh succubus mmm isn't dead maybe succubus mmm can appear in another dream another time but um you know thanks for joining our our little world you played DD really well actually Taz I think you're pretty good at it yeah thanks for having me gargo okay I feel like you were giving and he just wanted to get out of here well that's a succubus that's a succubus succubus for you that's a succubus so we've we've done a lot it's been a big dream episode but now we're we're arriving at this family style restaurant just away from the crab gates pretty bustling a lot of underwater types in here you know not just crabs a lot of different people look at all this whoa look at all this crap wow this place is cool wow dactal you got a this is a cool spot yeah sometimes I've been here before uh sometimes a long wait but uh the the food is spectacular that's all you can ask for from a family style restaurant did anybody see my girlfriend um where the hell is she man I don't know I got dumped already

SPEAKER_11 44:00

Just don't bring up vibe like that to this situation, okay?

SPEAKER_14 44:04

You're right. I'm sorry. Wait a minute.

SPEAKER_05 44:06

Uh a merman swims up to you and goes, like, hi, can I help ya?

SPEAKER_11 44:11

Uh, yeah, for three.

SPEAKER_05 44:13

Okay, so you have a reservation?

SPEAKER_11 44:15

No.

SPEAKER_05 44:16

Okay, so it's gonna be about a 15-minute uh wait. Put you on the wait list? Oh my god.

SPEAKER_11 44:23

Is there another place around here?

SPEAKER_05 44:26

Um, well, not really. I mean, like, we're kind of it's either here or inside Crabopolis in the gates.

SPEAKER_11 44:32

What about that cafe over there?

SPEAKER_05 44:34

Okay, so you look at the distance and they said it's another cafe.

SPEAKER_08 44:38

Okay.

SPEAKER_09 44:39

So it's a less that place is like not great. I mean, you got like some like pre-made sandwiches and stuff in the in the display counter, and it's like it's mostly just like we could go there.

SPEAKER_11 44:52

Okay, well, okay. I'll give my name here, and we'll go there. We can come back here if we need to. Jesus, this is turning into a whole thing. So, okay, can I give you my name? My name is uh pudding.

SPEAKER_04 45:02

Yeah, I'll put you on the list.

SPEAKER_11 45:04

Thank you, Mr. Merman. All right, let's go to this cafe.

SPEAKER_05 45:07

Okay, so you go uh just a little bit even down into the distance uh around the coast of this magical island. Uh it's a small cafe. It looks like it's a bit worse for wear, some cracks in the the foundation, uh the windows which are made of like algae or cracked or whatever, and uh you find a table and you have to you have to go to the the the front to order. It's not like there's no server situation. You ordered the front.

SPEAKER_11 45:33

Okay, and here's the barista is a crab, okay? It's like a really hot guy crab. Nice. He's like the size of he's even a bit bigger than Dactyl. Whoa. So okay, so he goes like this. He goes, he goes. Hey, Dacto. Oh my god. What are you doing here? Frankie? It's Frankie. I haven't seen you since Crab College. Oh my god. How long has it been? Since Crab College?

SPEAKER_09 46:00

Uh two months? We live very short lifespans.

SPEAKER_11 46:05

You're telling me, baby. The last time I saw you, oh you were looking good. You're looking even better now.

SPEAKER_09 46:12

Frankie, stop. I'm with someone. I'm with this ork.

SPEAKER_11 46:16

Oh my god, this guy? He's tiny.

SPEAKER_09 46:19

I know, but I I like him. We made a little big connection.

SPEAKER_14 46:22

Jesus Christ cuts in and goes, hey, I can't talk about my friend like that. He's he's he's laying it down good on this crab here. Him and this crab are tight. They've been through a lot.

SPEAKER_11 46:32

That's a crazy thing to say. I'm trying to be a good wingman. Oh my god, Jesus Christ, you're making things so much worse. Hey, dude, can we just order and then we can have our seats so we don't need all this chit chat, you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_09 46:44

It's okay, Frankie. This is pudding and Jesus Christ, Jesus Christ and pudding. This is Frankie, we knew each other in crab college.

SPEAKER_11 46:52

Yeah. You can say we knew each other.

SPEAKER_09 46:56

Stop it, Frankie. Stop it.

SPEAKER_14 46:58

I take I take uh I take pudding aside and go, oh my god, do you think that that's her kid's father that we killed? Like I killed the baby, and that's the father?

SPEAKER_05 47:06

Oh, good question.

SPEAKER_11 47:08

Oh wow, that's an interesting one. Yeah. So how's our little one doing? I'm sorry, I've been late on the alimony, baby.

SPEAKER_09 47:16

I got some bad news actually.

SPEAKER_11 47:20

So then from across the cafe where where pudding and and uh and and Jesus are talking, maybe they hear they hear Frankie go, What?

SPEAKER_07 47:33

Uh you killed my little one.

SPEAKER_09 47:39

Oh no. Oh no, we gotta get out of here. You gotta get out of here. Oh, we gotta go.

SPEAKER_14 47:45

I create uh a smaller sand cafe inside the sand cafe, and we run inside.

SPEAKER_05 47:50

Yeah, because again, this sand cafe is big enough to house not only our giant crab mother, but this Frankie who's bigger, I think, than Dactyl. Maybe even a little bit bigger. So yeah, you go into a smaller cafe inside this cafe.

SPEAKER_14 48:03

But but I'm struggling to hold it together because remember, the sand spells don't do so good on the water. So I'm like, oh, like the sand is like water.

SPEAKER_05 48:10

Your concentration level, you're just you're concentrating so hard to hold it together. Okay, great.

SPEAKER_11 48:14

And then Frankie's Frankie smashes the sand and he goes, and he goes, he goes, uh listen to me. If I wasn't on if my if I wasn't on my shift right now, I would snap your little necks. But I know the boy, I know the owner of this place. He's a good guy. So I can't do the stuff I wanna do.

SPEAKER_05 48:42

Kevin, do you wanna play the owner of the place who comes in to talk to Frankie?

SPEAKER_14 48:45

Yeah. Oh, Frankie, please! Please don't do what you're gonna do. I need I need business. I need this place to succeed. Please don't do what you're gonna do.

SPEAKER_11 48:53

Johnny is guys.

SPEAKER_14 48:55

I know, but you can there's a time and a place for these things. Okay, you can avenge your dead little one after work. Your shift ends in ten minutes! Just give it ten minutes, please!

SPEAKER_11 49:05

Oh, Johnny, you're pulling on my heart strings.

SPEAKER_05 49:08

Then you get uh you uh Pudding gets a buzz on the like uh to go coaster that alerts you that your table's ready at the family style restaurant. Alright, let's go, we're going.

SPEAKER_11 49:19

And then but Frankie and Johnny don't even notice because they're really they're really getting deep with it now. Johnny, yeah. I'm sorry. You know, you're right. You're right. No, you're right, you're right. No, you're right.

SPEAKER_02 49:31

Help me.

SPEAKER_11 49:31

I'm sorry. I know. You you you work so hard for this place.

SPEAKER_02 49:35

I do. I understand. You got a hot temper, that's why you're so good at the espresso machine.

SPEAKER_11 49:40

Come on, come on. Don't butter me up unless you're gonna eat me for dinner.

SPEAKER_14 49:44

I know I'd like to.

SPEAKER_11 49:46

Johnny, I noticed you added some new celebrities to the Wall of Fame already. I did, I did, I did, I did, I did. Is that Crabert De Niro?

SPEAKER_14 49:55

Yeah, I got Krabbit De Niro. I got Alpacy Crab and Alpacine Notion. Thank you.

SPEAKER_11 50:08

And of course, you've got uh I got Krabby Hoffman.

SPEAKER_14 50:14

Yes, very good.

SPEAKER_05 50:15

And Robert Duval de Crabs.

SPEAKER_11 50:18

Robert Duval de Crab also.

SPEAKER_14 50:20

Yeah, absolutely.

SPEAKER_11 50:22

Wow, and and Nemo. And Nemo. Wow. I'm so proud of you, Johnny. You had a dream you wanted to open a place, you open a place, and you'd run it so well. We don't have a good review.

SPEAKER_14 50:35

People calling us a bad institution, our algae windows are not doing so high.

SPEAKER_11 50:38

Who said they use a bad institution? I'll kill them. I'll kill them in C.

SPEAKER_14 50:43

People are giving us bad reviews on kelp. Couldn't come up with a good celebrities, but I did kelp, so that's pretty good.

SPEAKER_11 50:53

Oh God. The next time I the next time I have to deliver to one of those guys on ocean floor dash, I'll go freaking bananas on them.

SPEAKER_05 51:04

I'm like a judge. I'm gonna allow this to go a little bit further, a little bit more ocean puns, and then we'll get back to the rest.

SPEAKER_11 51:10

Johnny, how's your wife doing?

SPEAKER_14 51:11

Oh, good. She got a job delivering for tuber eats. Uh he's just tube tubers. Okay. You mean like potatoes? Yeah, like I mean like so like a sea cucumber. I was thinking like those little tubes underwater, I think.

SPEAKER_05 51:25

Isn't a tuber a fish? No.

SPEAKER_02 51:27

No, maybe not.

SPEAKER_05 51:28

Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_02 51:29

It feels right. Okay, never mind. It doesn't matter. My wife's so fine.

SPEAKER_05 51:33

A grouper. A grouper's a fish.

SPEAKER_14 51:35

Grouper. Oh, well, she's doing, she's got the grouper deals, you know. Grouper eats. Grouper eats, something like that.

SPEAKER_11 51:41

Oh, Johnny, you always call me down doggone you're talking so much, Jenny.

SPEAKER_14 51:46

I've just been through so much, and I know you see me as a mentor figure, and I just want you to have something. I want to leave this to you someday. I don't have any crap kids of my own.

SPEAKER_11 51:57

Are you okay? No, I'm not doing well.

SPEAKER_14 52:00

What's wrong?

SPEAKER_11 52:01

I gotta be honest with you, Johnny. I feel like I'm fucking up every husband in my life.

SPEAKER_02 52:07

You're so handsome, you're solid, rock solid here. You're so beautiful. What are you talking about?

SPEAKER_11 52:11

Your poetry is so good. Got kicked out of my place. The poetry's not paying the bills. I love you, but I wanna work here forever.

SPEAKER_14 52:19

I can't loan you any more money. I'm strapped as it is.

SPEAKER_07 52:23

I know you are Johnny, I would never ask you to do that. Crash at your place for tonight.

SPEAKER_14 52:29

Yeah, you can crash at my place, man. Okay, I always got the I always got the uh the catalogo air mattress for you. It's on the ceiling.

SPEAKER_11 52:38

Okay, that night.

SPEAKER_14 52:40

That night.

SPEAKER_05 52:41

Okay, so we'll do it quick to Johnny and Frankie that night. A quick one, and then we'll wrap up the episode with them going back to the family style restaurant. Let's see, Johnny and Frankie. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 52:51

Johnny! Whoa, what is it? What is it? Oh, what's going on? I was just throwing asleep. What's this? What's going on?

SPEAKER_11 52:57

I just, I feel so grateful. I feel so unworthy of such a beautiful hair mattress.

SPEAKER_02 53:04

It's okay, Frankie.

SPEAKER_14 53:05

Just calm down, alright. We're doing okay. We're fine. Everything's fine. Just calm down. Okay, you're stressing me out. You're getting my crab to zol levels through the freaking roof.

SPEAKER_11 53:14

Johnny, I dropped out of college. I feel like I got no prospects. My poetry's never gonna do anything.

SPEAKER_02 53:21

Yes, it is. You just gotta believe in yourself. Didn't you go to the slam the other night? Weren't you gonna go to that poetry slam?

SPEAKER_11 53:27

Yeah, I got one tomorrow night, though. It's a competition, but I don't have any confidence.

SPEAKER_14 53:33

We gotta get your confidence up. Try some of your slams on me. Imagine I'm an opponent, you know.

SPEAKER_11 53:38

Okay, I'll try them right now. Cut to the next night.

SPEAKER_08 53:43

Okay. This is a very, very brief, brief little window into this poetry slam conference.

SPEAKER_14 53:49

And we're back at the cafe, and the cafe is hosting the Poetry Slam conference.

SPEAKER_05 53:52

Okay. Okay. Cool. Okay, so yeah, so the other characters have been there for I guess two nights. Because we're the path of time, right? Sure. Yeah, great. Okay, so here we are. All the characters there, and Frankie's doing his poetry slam.

SPEAKER_02 54:06

Come on, Frankie, you got this!

SPEAKER_09 54:09

Oh my god, I didn't think Frankie would be here doing a poetry slam. He's great at poetry.

SPEAKER_11 54:13

He doesn't sucks at poetry. I don't have nothing to say about this guy. That's nice. Alright, I just want to do my poetry before I do it, before I start. I just want to apologize to some guys I threatened yesterday. You got a hot temper, but you know, children come, children go, but friendship is forever.

SPEAKER_05 54:37

And so then Dactyl stands up and she's like, It's okay, Frankie.

SPEAKER_09 54:40

They forgive you, and so do I. I just want to hear you do your poems.

SPEAKER_11 54:46

Spark, plug, plug me in to the computer call success. How come I always pursue ambition when life is precious? Press us. Press us together. Love me. I never stopped loving you. Dacto.

SPEAKER_02 55:17

There it is! It's too hot exposed. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_11 55:22

Johnny, I made such a mistake. I blew it. I put myself out there too much. I made myself too vulnerable.

SPEAKER_02 55:27

There's no such thing as too vulnerable when you live the life of the artist. You gotta leave it all on the line!

SPEAKER_11 55:32

Dacto, will you make me the happiest crab in the world and will marry me here at this buggy slam?

SPEAKER_09 55:39

Yes, Frankie. Yes. I will. I've always loved you. I'm sorry, pudding, but it's me and Frankie all the way.

SPEAKER_11 55:48

Okay, cut to it's nine months later. Okay, everybody.

SPEAKER_10 55:54

This is nine months in the future.

SPEAKER_02 56:05

I hear my pronounce you. Husband and reef. You might you might you may kiss your beautiful bride and groom. I think that doctor and breaking.

SPEAKER_11 56:18

Johnny, that sounds perfect. You should say that at the wedding. You rehearsed that perfectly.

SPEAKER_02 56:25

Thank you so much. I worked all night on that. You know I did.

SPEAKER_11 56:28

Can I say something to you, Johnny, that I'm nervous about, please? I'm nervous that when you say, does anyone have any objections to this marriage, that someone's gonna object?

SPEAKER_02 56:39

That's okay. We'll tackle that together like all of life's hurdles, okay? Okay, I guess I'll see you at the wedding tomorrow. Okay, I'm gonna keep practicing.

SPEAKER_04 56:50

Okay, okay. The wedding tomorrow. Okay, and this has to be it.

SPEAKER_05 56:55

This has to be it. They get me. So this is and Johnny's Johnny's officiating. Johnny's officiating.

SPEAKER_00 57:00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 57:04

We are gathered here today.

SPEAKER_14 57:06

Oh god, thank you so much, everyone, for ordering wonderful entrees and desserts and delectables. Thank you so much for keeping me alive here. I can't tell you how much it means to me. So, anyway, I just wanted to thank you all for coming to celebrate the unity of Dactyl and Frankie. True loves that have never been more true in all of life. I'm sure you heard Frankie's poem. It was beautiful. And now here's Frankie, and up the aisle comes Dactyl. Here we go. Happiest day of my life. She's talking her way up the aisle. It's beautiful.

SPEAKER_01 57:41

Scuttling sideways. I'm so proud of you, sweetheart. I'm the happiest crab father in the world.

SPEAKER_09 57:48

They're like, Dad. I'm so glad I didn't make that mistake by marrying that orc stand-up comedian. It was a flash in the pan.

SPEAKER_01 57:56

A flash in the pan. Yeah, you said it. Okay. Sorry.

SPEAKER_11 58:04

Sorry, one second. One second. I mean, yeah, you could cook a crab that way.

SPEAKER_09 58:10

Yeah, I see where you're going with. Yeah, we could be food.

SPEAKER_11 58:14

We could we could I think the ultimate takeaway is we could be food.

SPEAKER_14 58:19

Takeaway? The ultimate takeaway would be you guys must say.

SPEAKER_05 58:21

Okay, so we cut back nine months earlier. Frank Frankie and Dactyl have left. It's just Jesus Christ and uh pudding alone in the family style restaurant. They've watched they've watched the poetry that happened, they've watched that re uh reconciliation, they've watched them leave. And um, and just as you're sort of trying to uh uh talk to each other and make uh sort of sense of what just happened, someone shows up at the door and it's golf wearing a magical breathing apparatus, and we'll end that there.

SPEAKER_11 58:56

Wait, wait, wait. I go wait, uh uh Pudding has something to say. Okay. Pudding says, God damn it, he took my gal. But I'll get my revenge. I'm gonna write the perfect objection to the wedding. And whenever they get married, let's say eight, ten months from now, somewhere in between, I'm gonna object so beautifully that she'll be forced to uh get back together with me. That's a beautiful that's nine months later.

SPEAKER_05 59:35

We will, we will, we'll get there.

SPEAKER_14 59:38

Trying to sneak those cuts.

SPEAKER_05 59:39

We do we do have that revenge set up. So Pudding does want to win Dactyl back. And they do want to go and object to the wedding. We didn't see the full wedding happen. We just had that little conversation between Dactyl and her father. Um so she was walking up the aisle. So there is room to find that down the road. But where I want to start next week is you're you you you find golf back again, and he describes his crazy solo adventure, and then you're back as a unit again. So golf will be back next week at the family style restaurant right on the border of Krabopolis. Uh a city which I did a lot of prep for and we didn't even get to. Um but it's there for us. It's there for us. If we want to go to the Krabopoulos, you know, we we know where the gates are, we know how to get there. And I actually, if we want to object with the wedding, you're gonna have to go to Krabopoulos. I think that's where the wedding's happening in Crabopoulos proper.

SPEAKER_13 1:00:28

Well, we haven't said it. Well, actually, uh what was the cafe owner's name was officiating? He did say it was happening.

SPEAKER_05 1:00:35

Frankie and Johnny. I can't remember which was which.

SPEAKER_11 1:00:37

So I think it's happening at Johnny's Cafe. It's happening at Johnny's cafe. It's just as a cafe.

SPEAKER_05 1:00:41

So we're never gonna get there. It's right on the border. Okay.

SPEAKER_14 1:00:45

But there could be more, there could be more stuff happening inside, you know.

SPEAKER_05 1:00:48

Absolutely. Dream Heavy, our first uh guest entrance and exit uh with a heart out. Um it's always good to have a heart out for guests. Did a lot of dream stuff today. We went into the inside of uh Jesus Christ Psyche. We saw his life at the seminary, a lot of spanking, uh, a lot of full, full circle moments. And unfortunately, pudding and dactyl are no longer together in this timeline. But we'll see what happens in further timelines. And next week, a nightmare party with the return of Mark Chapis and golf. So we'll keep going. Good job, everyone.