Nightmare Party - Skeleton Town

Chain, Will Pumpkin, and Ryan Biel (the dwarf warrior) ride a subway to Skeleton Town.

Transcript

SPEAKER_03 0:14

Welcome back to Nightmare Party, a DD podcast where we are on our third version of the story. But if you're just joining us, I'm Ryan Beale, I'm the DM, and I finally convinced some of my very funny comedian friends to play DD with me. And um we're gonna jump into it to give you a little bit of a recap, but um it's been going pretty great, actually. Uh this is our third incantation. Is that a word? Yeah, but it's the wrong word.

SPEAKER_07 0:44

What is incantation?

SPEAKER_12 0:45

Incantation is like a spell, so you're on brand.

SPEAKER_04 0:48

Yeah, but you meant incarnation.

SPEAKER_03 0:50

Yes, yes, yes, I'm missing an R. There's our third incarnation of an attempt at a D campaign. We had one uh which was going for a while called Pet Smart, which is about uh doggos driving a an SUV towards a dog city. Yeah, and then we did a hard reset, and it was uh three characters who met on a boat that was swept away in a magical storm and they came to an island. Um I'm just gonna skip to the end where they all end up running a family style restaurant together. Okay. Then we did another hard reset, and now we're kind of we're we're we're really in sort of a hard fantasy setting. Not super hard, but you know uh uh medium hard. Um with three characters um who were um they met together when they were locked up in a dungeon and they escaped that dungeon and they've been uh toiling in the in the tunnels uh outside of that dungeon and they decided not to go up into the town called Tenther, uh, which um is where the dungeon is located, and instead they are still in the tunnels and are going to something called Skeleton Town on the edge of the kingdom. But I've talked too much. Let's hear from all you guys. Why don't you tell the listeners what character you're currently playing and how how you think it's going for yourself?

SPEAKER_12 2:08

Uh I'm playing uh a character named Chain. Mark C. Mark Chavez, yes. Yeah, and uh this is Mark Chavez talking. Thank you, Ryan B. Uh, and uh he's uh he's a fighter, he's really tough, and he's he's sort of taken it upon himself to teach uh Mark Little's character the ropes and how to be tough. That's right.

SPEAKER_04 2:26

Let's go to Mark Little next. Uh who are you playing? Well, I'm playing Will Pumpkin, and uh I'm an elf and a pig thief and a coward, and I'm having a I wanna get brave, but I'm having a tough time. Yeah, it's hard. Okay, and Kevin L?

SPEAKER_06 2:42

Yeah, I'm sort of the outlier here. I don't have a relationship, I don't have a cool thing going on with either of these guys, but uh my name is But you got cool stuff going on for yourself. Internally, yes, because my name is Ryan Beale. Uh I'm an illiterate tax cheat and prankster uh who's in jail for exposing himself.

SPEAKER_03 3:00

Please don't clip that. Please don't clip that people.

SPEAKER_06 3:02

None of that's based on reality. Yeah, exactly. Um, and I am a dwarf uh warrior. Um and yeah, and I think my superpower is not remembering what my voice sounds like all.

SPEAKER_03 3:13

And did you you mentioned you also like we'll get into the recap a little bit, but you have like a fungal disease on your hand right now?

SPEAKER_06 3:19

I have um athlete, I have Mathlet's hand. And no, I we were in our in our search through the tunnels, we clearly we were warned multiple times by a skeleton to not go towards the light that it was a trap. So of course we went directly towards it. I touched it, the it was a fungus of some kind of glowing fungus, and I pulled my managed to pull my hand away, and my hand is now glowing. Uh, but and and but no adverse effects so far. And so we're using it. And I think we're sort of using it as a light source, like uh ad hoc torch to get to the darkness.

SPEAKER_03 3:54

Fantastic. So, yeah, just to catch everyone up, um, they met in prison, they broke out of prison, they were in the tunnels, they had a clear way out of the tunnels to get to the town. They decided not to go up. They're still in tunnels. They befriended a skeleton who I think is called like Ribby McRibbardson or Bonesy McRibbs. Bonesy McRibbs or Bonesy McRibs. I don't remember. Do we want to just choose choose a name for that skeleton now? McRib. McRib. McRib. McRib. That's perfect. The McRib is back. Absolutely. And he's Irish as hell. He's well, we'll see. Mark L was playing him, I believe. Yeah, I don't think he was Irish. And that skeleton lured you guys away from the promise of just getting up into this cool DD town I created where there's lots of stuff to do.

SPEAKER_12 4:44

And they instead lured you towards a skeleton town on the edge of the kingdom with the promise of everything that you like is And we remind uh well, so my character his his ex runs the inn. And what's her name? Mira. Mira. Mira, nice.

SPEAKER_03 5:07

Yeah, good poll. Wow. Yeah. Um, but that doesn't matter because you decided not to go uh into Yeah, we're not gonna see Mira again. Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 5:17

There was a dragon in the in the tavern as well. Uh yeah, there was a crazy one.

SPEAKER_03 5:21

I was desperate to get you guys to do a dragon quest, but that is now it's a bones. There's still time. We might go back. Hey, you know what? I I always but like I feel like I fear it's another Crabopolis situation. Um if you don't know a Crabopolis is uh Crabopolis.

SPEAKER_06 5:37

I don't remember that.

SPEAKER_03 5:38

Exactly. Uh, because you never went there. It was a town I made that you never went to to enjoy. Um and for those of you just joining us again, we do very light DD rules and stats here. We are rolling D20s uh to forward the story and when we're in sort of precarious situations, but we're not doing every single rule. This is D light. This is our own version. We're focusing mostly on the narrative and um and the fun and the imagination. So um so if you're on your way to the skeleton town at the edge of the kingdom, um why don't we start with like you're on some kind of skeleton transportation system, whether it's like a skeleton subway or a skeleton uh cart with a skeleton horse, you know. Oh, that's good. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 6:24

Welcome to the skeleton subway, gentlemen.

SPEAKER_03 6:26

Yeah, okay, good.

SPEAKER_12 6:27

Oh, we're doing subway, great. Yeah, okay.

SPEAKER_03 6:29

Because you're still in the tunnels. I don't think you ever got out of the tunnels.

SPEAKER_12 6:34

This subway attaches right to this t escape tunnel from the jail? Wow. It's fantastic. I don't like it. Oh, come on, Will. Screw your courage to the sticking place. We're gonna go have some fun.

SPEAKER_08 6:51

Tickets, please. Tickets, please. Do you all have tickets with the skeleton subway?

SPEAKER_06 6:58

I go, I go, uh, I think I got a ticket down uh here in my pocket, and I look down, and then my penis is just poking out of my fly, like just the very tip of my dwarf penis. Wow. Is that did that work? That's fine. Alright.

SPEAKER_01 7:12

I don't want to have to do that.

SPEAKER_06 7:15

And I put my thumb in my mouth and I and I use I visibly like I clearly visibly suck uh air in, and my and somehow the head of my penis goes and it pops back into my pants.

SPEAKER_02 7:23

I've never seen such amazing pranks. We're all fine. You're all fine on the subway.

SPEAKER_12 7:29

We're all fine. We mean that that's that's admission.

SPEAKER_02 7:32

Are you going to Skeleton Town? Mick Ribb, are you taking these three to Skeleton Town? Yes. Well, I'm sure they'll be there for the most grand feast of the year. They must be the guests of honor.

SPEAKER_01 7:48

Well, they're gonna cook us. Let's get off the subway.

SPEAKER_02 7:51

You guys eat?

SPEAKER_03 7:52

You have a big feast? No, what do you even eat?

SPEAKER_01 7:55

They're gonna eat us.

SPEAKER_03 7:57

This is the skeleton subway. Next stop, Skeleton Town.

SPEAKER_04 8:02

Okay, I want to roll to pull the emergency stop.

SPEAKER_12 8:06

Great. And can we describe what the train looks like? Like, is it like a big rib cage?

SPEAKER_03 8:11

Absolutely. It's a bit great. It's all bones, everything's bone. Okay, no flesh, no fabric, no other infrastructure on this. It's all a rib cage over top, a rib cage coming down under that, so it makes kind of a nice tube on the bottom. It's like a hardwood floor, but it's all femurs.

SPEAKER_12 8:28

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 8:28

Okay. And then there's railings, and they're femurs too. It's mostly femurs.

SPEAKER_12 8:33

Are they human femurs?

SPEAKER_03 8:34

Uh, yeah. I mean, we're talking like human skeleton stuff here. So or elves, or you know, maybe there's some dwarf bones in there, but it's like humanoid skeletons. Okay.

SPEAKER_12 8:44

So, like in this world, like the skeletons, they're all pelvises. But then they use skeleton. Seats are all pelvises. Yeah. The seats are pelvises, great. Yeah, the seats are pelvises. But they use bones.

SPEAKER_06 8:56

And the windows are also bones, so we can't see through the windows.

SPEAKER_03 9:00

No, the windows are glass. They have glass, that's it.

SPEAKER_06 9:03

Okay, the glass is the only non-bone thing that they have.

SPEAKER_03 9:05

So you want to roll to pull the emergency exit? I rolled a one. Okay, yeah, you miss it, you fall down, and you chip your tooth.

SPEAKER_06 9:13

You chipped your tooth. Well, guess what? Guess what? There's lots of bone here to replace the tooth with if you want.

SPEAKER_05 9:18

I don't want that.

SPEAKER_03 9:20

Hang on for your own safety. The skeleton subway is ready to go. It's a bit late with a warning for you.

SPEAKER_11 9:28

I can't wait to get to Skeleton Town.

SPEAKER_03 9:30

This place is gonna be amazing. I'm so really fast, the bones start shaking like crazy. Like, it's not like a normal subway you've ever been on. It's kind of like wild and rare. But there's so many subways.

SPEAKER_12 9:42

Yeah, I mean, I've never been on a bone subway.

SPEAKER_04 9:44

I've only been to a quiz nose. Can I can I can I okay, so can we and then uh can a guy come on and he's uh he's already on there, but he's he's gonna do a he's gonna play a song and do a dance for us. Perfect.

SPEAKER_03 9:57

Yes, absolutely. So some kind of performer on the subway. Yes.

SPEAKER_04 10:01

What's up, everyone? Um thank you for your attention. Oh no.

SPEAKER_03 10:07

It's a really long ride, too, by the way. This guy's got a long time to do this.

SPEAKER_04 10:11

Uh I'm gonna be doing some dances for you. If we could just clear this aisle a little bit. I'm about to blow your minds. Oh god.

SPEAKER_06 10:20

Should we clear pumpkin? Pumpkin's still laying in the ground here.

SPEAKER_12 10:23

Just little pick you up, pumpkin. Here we go. Got you. Let's put you over here.

SPEAKER_04 10:30

Watch this guy. I go to another car.

SPEAKER_12 10:34

Wait a minute, Ryan. We said no real world things. What could despacito can be? Thank you, Mark. Thank you, Mark.

SPEAKER_03 10:43

So can you do Mark Little? Could you do another one? Okay, still use the despacito sort of rhythm, but can it be a different, sort of more fantasy-oriented song?

SPEAKER_07 10:51

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_04 10:52

Mm-hmm. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Bone spazito. It's the bone spazito. Well, what's his dance like?

SPEAKER_06 11:02

Like, what does his dance look like?

SPEAKER_04 11:04

He he's like uh he's like a big uh doll. He's a dog. He's a dog. Careful. He goes, Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, ah, oh, and he puts his paws on the top rail and he pulls his entire body up and then he hangs from his tail, and then he goes, and he gets excited, and his tail wags and his whole body shakes. Wow.

SPEAKER_12 11:26

And then he has a little friend, another dog friend who has a dog bowl who's who's going around collecting money.

SPEAKER_03 11:32

Nice. What do those dogs look like, guys? Are we tying this back into Pet Smart or these dogs before? Or are they uh dogs we've never seen before? There's new dogs.

SPEAKER_06 11:43

But they did get lost from the uh the subway in Dog London, the uh the uh the underground, the tube. They somehow got lost and ended up on the skeleton.

SPEAKER_03 11:51

Yeah, maybe Dog London has all these different lines going all these different ways. There's like a bone skelet uh subway. There's a there's an underwater subway.

SPEAKER_04 12:00

Yeah, it's all connected. Uh can I roll to do a really good job dancing? Yeah, let's see how good you do.

SPEAKER_03 12:05

It's gonna be a pretty easy roll. I roll to five. Yeah, you do a terrible job. Oh uh you do a terrible job, and somehow you sort of start an altercation. Let's see how that goes. Uh oh, uh hey, move out of my way, pal.

SPEAKER_04 12:18

Hey, stop it.

SPEAKER_06 12:20

I'm trying to do my thing. I'm trying to do my prank. I'm trying to fill up these cream pies.

SPEAKER_04 12:24

Yeah. Well, I'm trying to I'm trying to do my job here. Your job. Your bloody job. This is your job. Yeah. You should get a real job, like pranking. I had a real job. I'm so sorry.

SPEAKER_12 12:39

Okay. There's no altercation. It's just a conversation. Well, there's a couple. There's a there's an altercation with me. Where we see what his real job was? Yes, absolutely. Let's do a flashback.

SPEAKER_04 12:47

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Oh, that's my alarm. Waking up. Another beautiful day in Dog London. For me, a dog named uh Curd. Curd. Card. Curd. You're already late for your job, Curd. Leave me alone, woman. You dumb woman. What? What? I'm so sorry. I'm so stressed about today. I've got a huge presentation. What's up, Tiger? Uh I mean, you're a dog, but I call you that.

SPEAKER_14 13:19

Yeah. I want to be a cat. I want to go to Cat Paris. Hang on.

SPEAKER_12 13:24

Just what did you call me, Card? Did you call me a dumb woman?

SPEAKER_04 13:29

I'm so sorry. I I've got this big presentation at work today. I've got to give a PowerPoint. Not a PowerPoint, a magic point. Yes. I've got to give. I've got to. That's good.

SPEAKER_12 13:40

High Wizard Quelfnar is coming over for dinner tonight, and he's your boss.

SPEAKER_04 13:44

Oh my well, that I know. But it but if I don't do a good So, okay, the stakes are double then, I guess. Because I gotta do this big presentation at work today, and if I do a bad job, Quelthnar probably won't even come over for dinner.

SPEAKER_12 13:58

He better come over for dinner. I've been slaving all day over this hot stove.

SPEAKER_06 14:02

Mommy, what did you say? Slavy.

SPEAKER_12 14:04

I've been working all day.

SPEAKER_06 14:05

Come on, mommy. God, everyone's language is so problematic.

SPEAKER_12 14:15

It's time you wake up, Curd. You can't call your wife. Woke is back. I am woke up.

SPEAKER_04 14:23

Sorry, honey, I fully want to engage with you here. Woke is not back.

unknown 14:27

What?

SPEAKER_04 14:28

Woke is not back.

SPEAKER_06 14:29

Why not?

SPEAKER_04 14:30

You can't you can't just will it back by saying it's back. The whole world is overrun with anti-woke nonsense right now. I'm on your side, buddy. I'm on your side, buddy. Okay.

SPEAKER_12 14:41

Are you on my side? Yes. Your partner for over a year? Time is different because we're dogs, and so we're like seven. We're in middle aged.

SPEAKER_04 14:51

You don't have to explain dog ears to me, honey.

SPEAKER_12 14:53

I know that I'm no, you're a dog just like me.

SPEAKER_04 14:56

We're all dogs.

SPEAKER_12 14:58

I'm taking a shower and licking myself.

SPEAKER_04 15:00

Oh, okay. Yep. Hello. Where are you? The presentation started 15 minutes ago. Oh my god, I slept in and then my dumb wife fucking came at me. What did you say? I'm sorry, honey. Oh my god, my perfect, brilliant wife.

SPEAKER_12 15:17

Jeez. Well, I'm gonna go put the final touches on dinner for High Wizard Quelf night.

SPEAKER_04 15:24

We just woke up. Take your time. And that's so so so that, my friends, on this subway, is my story. And guess what? Not hard to guess. The presentation went poorly. My boss didn't even come over for dinner, and my wife my wife freaking left me.

SPEAKER_12 15:45

I really wanted to hear about how dinner went and it didn't even happen.

SPEAKER_06 15:48

Man, that's rough.

SPEAKER_12 15:50

Oh man, really sorry to hear that, Kurd. You could probably use a little spare change in that doggy bowl that your friend has over there. I could.

SPEAKER_04 15:59

I'm saving up to buy a new wife and kid.

SPEAKER_06 16:04

They got those on I bet they got those in Skeleton Town. Everything you want's there.

SPEAKER_04 16:08

That's what I've heard. But I gotta save up enough stuff uh money and stuff to get the to get that stuff I want.

SPEAKER_12 16:16

I understand.

SPEAKER_06 16:17

Yeah, it feels like they're just gonna give us stuff, but some people do have to pay for stuff too. Yeah.

SPEAKER_12 16:23

Well what I heard is true, all of our dreams will come true in Skeleton Town and nothing bad can happen.

SPEAKER_01 16:27

It's too good to be true. We've gotta get off the subway.

SPEAKER_12 16:32

Oh, stop your whinging, Will, you Muppet. Oh, sometimes you get under my skin.

SPEAKER_06 16:38

Somebody give him a pig to steal.

SPEAKER_01 16:41

Don't joke about that. Without that pig's theft, I wouldn't be in this mess.

SPEAKER_12 16:48

Oh, Will, come on, buck up. We're gonna have a great time, you'll see. Skeleton Town will be amazing.

SPEAKER_03 16:54

And then suddenly the the train comes to a huge violent stop.

SPEAKER_10 16:59

Whoa!

SPEAKER_01 17:00

Whoa! Oh I hurt myself on the fare collection thing.

SPEAKER_12 17:09

Yeah, it seems like a weird way to stop a train. I mean, it's like they didn't know the stop was coming up.

SPEAKER_06 17:15

No bones about it. That was a rough ride.

SPEAKER_03 17:18

The doors open and it goes.

SPEAKER_15 17:21

Welcome to Skeleton Town.

SPEAKER_03 17:24

Does McRib say anything? Uh here we're here. Okay. Okay, nice. And you emerge do you do you leave the train?

SPEAKER_04 17:35

Yeah. This way, fellas. Everything you want is here.

SPEAKER_12 17:41

I want to roll to see if I notice anything that I should be worried about. Okay.

SPEAKER_03 17:45

Anything you should be worried about. You're doing investigation. Investigation. Okay, here we go.

SPEAKER_12 17:50

I'm rolling a D20. Here we go.

SPEAKER_03 17:52

It is a three. Yeah, no, you notice nothing. Okay.

SPEAKER_01 17:56

I want to roll to see if I if I've soiled myself. Okay. Yeah. 19. Oh. Uh, can't go out there. I'm covered in soil.

SPEAKER_12 18:11

Oh no. Will. Oh Did you do you have a change of clothes in your little backpack here? Let me see. Oh yeah, you do. Does this happen often? Yes. Yeah, it does.

SPEAKER_06 18:24

You see the pants, the pants that he has, the despair pants, uh, definitely have like a brown, like a brown.

SPEAKER_03 18:29

No, remember it was like it was all the fluids last time he kept. Oh, that's right. That's right. This is like quite a quite a common occurrence. Right. Uh so he sailed himself. You notice nothing, uh, Chain. Uh, anything you want to do, um, Ryan Beale?

SPEAKER_06 18:45

Uh yeah, I want to roll to see if I can do a prank just getting off. Like, how busy is this platform? Are there like like what are we actually looking at?

SPEAKER_03 18:52

Because there are lots of skeletons. You come you uh the door opens and but beyond like the platform is like uh a bustling town of bones and jack-o' lanterns with smoke and sort of like you know, soot uh billowing into the sky. But be uh just down from the platform is uh like an honor guard of skeletons, and one skeleton um uh standing forth, like a proud skeleton, with a just a skull on a red velvet pillow. Just right in the subway? Just like down like down one level. You can see it.

SPEAKER_04 19:27

Can I roll to see if he gets immediately arrested? The guy I just described? Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 19:34

Yeah. Yeah, okay. If you roll at 20, the guy I just described, I'm gonna be fair, if you roll a 20, the guy I just described will be immediately arrested. I rolled and died. Okay, so no. What happened? Anything happened? A skeleton cop comes up and like checks his ID, I guess. And then he kind of goes like, oh, sorry, yeah, I guess I was looking at another guy or whatever, and he walks off.

SPEAKER_04 20:04

Can we can we figure out what the skeleton cop was looking for?

SPEAKER_03 20:07

Yeah, sure. Um I think the skeleton cop is looking for um uh fairy vaders. Fairy vaders. So we had to check his ID?

SPEAKER_12 20:18

Yeah, why do you check his ID?

SPEAKER_03 20:20

Okay, but okay. What do you guys think the skeleton cop is looking for? What the hell, right? What do you think the skeleton guy is?

SPEAKER_12 20:26

I think they're looking for uh for some for some spies.

SPEAKER_03 20:31

Spies? Okay. Great. Okay, they were looking for spies. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 20:36

It could be looking for like uh people selling um like fake, like forged, uh like uh counterfeit skulls okay, people sell like counterfeit DVDs and like whatever. It's like a skull at all. It could be like counterfeit.

SPEAKER_03 20:49

Oh yeah. Okay, let's go with yeah, you Mark Little.

SPEAKER_04 20:53

Oh, I just wanna I just wanna follow this cop for a bit.

SPEAKER_03 20:57

Okay, sure. Who wants to play the skeleton cop? Kevin. Yeah, okay. Kevin will play the skeleton cop, and then Mark and Mark will be people he kind of uh accosts uh uh in in his investigation. Okay, let's go.

SPEAKER_00 21:12

Damn it. Still can't find that ferrovader. It's gotta be somewhere.

SPEAKER_04 21:20

Oh, it was about ferrovision.

SPEAKER_00 21:21

It was about ferivation? Yeah, no, it's not about ferrovision. Something about that.

SPEAKER_06 21:26

I gotta find that fervator. If I don't fight him, oh my god, I'm gonna be in so much trouble. Oh I'm so below quota. Excuse me, excuse me there. Let me see your ID. Stop, stop.

SPEAKER_12 21:36

What? Who what? Whoa, pull up my bone gun.

SPEAKER_06 21:42

That's right. We could shoot our hands like bone guns, and I shoot the little tip of my finger off and it kill you.

SPEAKER_04 21:47

Yeah, I know how a bone gun works. Good enough. I know how a bone gun works, buddy. Tongue. Okay.

SPEAKER_06 21:53

Okay, look at my badge. Okay, I'm the one who has high status. All right, now show me your ID.

SPEAKER_04 21:57

You've got high status? Because we're both FBI.

SPEAKER_12 22:01

Federal bone interesting. Bone of investigation.

SPEAKER_04 22:05

Yeah, federal bone of investigation. Fuck. And you're under arrest for fucking with us. No!

SPEAKER_06 22:12

I put my bone gun in my mouth. No. No, don't do that. I blow my bones off. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_03 22:19

But that doesn't kill you because you're a skeleton. Just a skeleton, yeah.

SPEAKER_06 22:23

It actually just makes my head bigger. Because I shoot the bone into it and the bone becomes part of my bone head, so it just becomes makes my head even bigger. And I'm like, ah shit, now I got a big head.

SPEAKER_03 22:32

Man. Let's bring them in. We're gonna bring them in. So are you guys are the two FBI agents dating or just partners? Both. Both. Both, you idiot. Yeah. I'm gonna roll to see.

SPEAKER_04 22:43

Can I roll to see if our relationship's going well? Yes, absolutely. 16. Uh it's going pretty, it's going it's going better than it ever has. Yeah. We are. Can I say something, honey? Yeah. As we drag this cop in.

SPEAKER_12 22:56

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 22:57

Um, I feel really connected to you. Me too.

SPEAKER_12 23:01

Last night was spectacular. It was so the communication was so open and we were just flow in like a flow state. I was just gonna say a flow state. Yeah.

SPEAKER_14 23:09

No, I've never experienced flow state. Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. My bows! Shut the fuck up. Fuck up.

SPEAKER_06 23:16

Shut the fuck up.

SPEAKER_12 23:17

It's been beat cops. It's been so great.

SPEAKER_06 23:21

You call me beat cops and you beat me. It's so ironic. Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. I love it. Can I join can I made thruple with you guys? Because this part I like.

SPEAKER_04 23:34

No. Ugh. Oh my god. Ugh. We might as well just pick a rat out of a gutter and put pork on that. That's exactly. Can I say something to you, honey? Yes. Yes. When I No. No, no. You're not part of this. When I woke up this morning and you were doing your mor uh morning pages, I was just like, this is this this guy is so like vast.

SPEAKER_12 24:04

Yes. Yes. And that's important that we we big we big each other up like that. You know? Because I was thinking the same thing. When I saw you, because you slept on the floor. Yeah. You woke up on the floor. Yeah. I was like, this this guy. This bone. This bone guy. Yeah. You know, he's got so many ideas and so many different things about him.

SPEAKER_06 24:25

Can I roll to see if I could like pickpocket because I want to check their IDs to see. So I want to I want to pickpocket uh Mark L or Mark uh C first.

SPEAKER_03 24:33

Okay.

SPEAKER_06 24:34

Oh, I rolled a 19.

SPEAKER_03 24:36

Yeah, you pickpocket mark C's.

SPEAKER_06 24:38

Okay, and now I'm gonna roll to see if his ID is, if he is the Farivader I'm looking for.

SPEAKER_03 24:43

Well, I think you could just you can just look at it. You have to roll.

SPEAKER_06 24:47

You can just decide because you've got that ID. He's not.

SPEAKER_04 24:51

He's not? He's not. Did you just pick my partner's prop pocket?

SPEAKER_06 24:56

No! It fell out.

SPEAKER_04 24:59

Oh my god. Hey, you prick. Did you just pick my pocket, you prick?

SPEAKER_06 25:03

No, I didn't. I've been picking prick. I put I put it back.

unknown 25:07

I don't know.

SPEAKER_06 25:08

Oh, it's a nine.

SPEAKER_03 25:10

I just poked him in the tent roll to put it back now. They've discovered it. Okay. For whatever reason.

SPEAKER_06 25:14

It fell out. Here you go.

SPEAKER_12 25:16

Not gonna try to pick my club back. I don't have any charges on you at first, but now that you pick my pocket, we have a legitimate reason to bring you into FBI jail.

SPEAKER_04 25:23

Yeah, I was taking to FBI jail. We're two gay lovers uh and cop partners who are skeletons.

SPEAKER_06 25:31

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 25:32

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 25:33

That you guys should sell that idea. Yeah. It's pretty good.

SPEAKER_04 25:37

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 25:39

This is a good idea. Like sell like a book or that book in a movie, a movie into the movie. What's a movie? It's this new thing I'm working on. It's the if I can only find that ferribator who took my notebook. Shut the fuck.

unknown 25:52

Shut the fuck up.

SPEAKER_06 25:53

Oh man! Catching the big fish.

SPEAKER_03 25:56

Let's go back. Oh, right. What I like about that is the cop that was potentially arresting some of the characters I've created has been dealt with by the FBI, the Federal Bone Invisible Instigators, Investigators, or whatever. Insigators. In Inquisitors. What was the Federal Bone Inquisitors? Yeah. Um they're gone. So now we we go back to Chain, Will Pumpkin, and Ryan Beale emerging from the subway, and they see this collection of skeletons like an honor guard, and this one skeleton holding a s just a skull on a velvet red pillow.

SPEAKER_12 26:30

So are we the only like flesh and flesh and bone people?

SPEAKER_03 26:35

Other than the dog, but he's still on the subway. No, I'm not.

SPEAKER_06 26:41

He's off the subway. He's chilling with us. He's breakdancing and dancing around. I can't allow the dog to do that.

SPEAKER_12 26:46

He's had a rough go, man. His wife and kid left him.

SPEAKER_03 26:49

I'm just worried there's gonna be another flesh. High magician Quelfnar didn't come to his dinner. Okay, fine, fine, fine. The dog's with the dog's on the subway platform with you.

SPEAKER_11 27:00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 27:00

But McRib obviously is ushering you towards, right? The honor guard and the skeleton on the velvet red pillow.

SPEAKER_12 27:08

Is there any uh kiosks or anything? Is there any kiosks? Yeah, you know, sometimes subways have like snack cards. Sure.

SPEAKER_03 27:18

Uh yeah, there's a there's a there's a there's a uh a a snack or a food uh kiosk uh uh uh uh manned by a skeleton uh to your immediate right. And to your left, yep. I'm famished.

SPEAKER_12 27:32

No, what's to the left? Uh another one. Okay, I'm famished. I'm just gonna grab a a sausage roll or something. You go you don't want anything?

SPEAKER_07 27:42

Yeah.

SPEAKER_12 27:44

Will I'm scared. What are you scared of, Will? I'm just gonna get you some food if you want some food.

SPEAKER_04 27:51

I don't trust the food, yeah. I don't trust anything about this place.

SPEAKER_12 27:57

What's wrong with it? It's just a skeleton city with skeletons, nothing to worry about. What about that guy with the velvet pillow?

SPEAKER_03 28:05

Oh yeah, he does look suspicious. The guy holding the skeleton holding the pillow is like going like this. Like, come here beckoning you.

SPEAKER_06 28:12

Like, oh, there was also a uh talk of a some sort of feast or something like that? Oh, it's more British. Yeah.

SPEAKER_12 28:20

Oh yeah, maybe I shouldn't have a sausage roll if there's gonna be a big feast. Yeah, good point.

SPEAKER_06 28:26

Oh yeah, and Ryan, is there anything uh going on with my hand? Has it changed at all?

SPEAKER_03 28:30

It's still glowing. It's just it's still the same amount of glowing. Uh oh.

SPEAKER_04 28:36

You know what this reminds me of? What's that, Kurd?

unknown 28:39

This guy coming in with this.

SPEAKER_04 28:41

My presentation.

SPEAKER_03 28:43

Oh, what happened at your presentation? Okay, let's hit up a quick flashback of the presentation. So it didn't obviously didn't go well because uh the uh was it High Priest, High Wizard High Wizard Quelfnar? Quelfnar didn't end up coming to dinner. Yes, but he's at the presentation.

SPEAKER_12 29:00

I'll play High Wizard Quelfnar.

SPEAKER_03 29:02

So you'll play that, and so it goes it goes awry, obviously. It goes awry. So let's let's see what happened. And let's also let's here's some details about what the presentation is about, what what the job is, like let's get into it if we're gonna do a flashback. Let's go. Okay, so you're in a boardroom. Uh there's various sort of uh fantasy characters there. There's an elf, there's an orc, there's a couple doggos, uh mostly doggos, it's dog London, obviously. And um let's see how it goes.

SPEAKER_12 29:30

Good. You are twenty-eight minutes late for your presentation.

SPEAKER_04 29:36

So sorry. Um, but I've got a very um I've got a presentation here for you today that I think is going to absolutely rock you to your core in a positive way.

SPEAKER_12 29:46

Well, I should hope so. If it's not good, you will be fired from your job and I will not come to dinner, and I don't care how long your beautiful wife quote slaved, unquote, over the dinner.

SPEAKER_04 30:03

Um stakes are a little bit higher than I want to admit, and I don't mean the stakes my wife's preparing for dinner. Stakes?

SPEAKER_00 30:13

Hmm I was a quilt now hate steaks. Everybody knows that.

SPEAKER_04 30:21

This is I still get to my presentation and I better make it good.

SPEAKER_12 30:27

Let's see your presentation. We've been waiting for almost a half hour.

SPEAKER_06 30:31

Good luck. I go up that middle of the orcs at the table and I'm like his nemesis. I go up and go, Good luck.

SPEAKER_00 30:37

I did my presentation a minute ago, bloody crushed it. You're gonna fail. You're gonna fail mid time.

SPEAKER_03 30:44

Let's see a flashback of that character leaving for work. Okay. Leaving for work? Yeah, who are you? Who are you playing, Kevin? Um, I'm an orc. An orange.

SPEAKER_06 30:56

I I turn it off.

SPEAKER_00 30:58

Oh yeah. Time to get up, do a couple sun salutations, there we go. Oh, feels good. Uh stretching really makes a difference. Alright, let me grab my prezi, my magic point. Pretty good. Alright. Well, I'm single, have no kids, don't have any pets, no other characters here. Alright, I guess I'll get dressed.

SPEAKER_03 31:20

Okay, let's see a flashback of that character as a child.

SPEAKER_00 31:23

Alright, I'll get up. All alone at the orphanage. Orphanage of one. Get up, get dressed. Couple of sudden salutations. Oh yeah, stretching really makes a difference. Alright. Now just take a quick shower. Alright.

SPEAKER_03 31:36

Okay, flash forward, flash forward back to him. You're back and getting ready for work.

SPEAKER_00 31:40

Alright, and I got dressed, and here we go. And I'm looking good. Oh, it was a quilt and I was gonna love it. And my nemesis is gonna fucking hate crow. He's gonna hate it.

SPEAKER_06 31:49

I'm gonna and I actually got his presentation ahead of time. And I'm turning all the slides upside down and I'm deleting words and I'm putting references to his dumb wife in there. Oh, his wife's so dumb. I'm gonna put pictures of him there, and all the people at the boardroom's gonna look at him and be like, what a dumb wife. And then we cut back to the boardroom.

SPEAKER_12 32:10

And I ruined your presentation. Good luck. What what are you waiting for?

SPEAKER_04 32:15

So sorry. Um this uh this rogue just admitted to me that he ruined my presentation.

SPEAKER_06 32:21

What?

SPEAKER_14 32:22

No, it didn't. No, you know me. I'm number one in sales and all acquisitions.

SPEAKER_12 32:26

Bickering like children. And let me see your presentation. Fine. Fine?

SPEAKER_04 32:38

What do we What do you mean fine? I'll do it. I'll do it. Okay. What do we know about flashlights? Not much. Did that exist? Well, what if you could hump them?

SPEAKER_12 32:56

Are you doing your flashlight presentation again? I'm sorry, he ruined my new one. I got it, I got nothing else. You're doing another presentation about the fleshlight?

SPEAKER_04 33:08

Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay. Let me just think on my feet here. Come on, think on your feet. Okay. What do we know about um what do we know about uh Chotkis that are just like sort of a long um penis-shaped silicone tube kind of thing.

SPEAKER_12 33:29

But it's upside down.

SPEAKER_01 33:31

Oh my god. Don't you see? This guy's frickin' me.

SPEAKER_12 33:35

Current. I have no other option but to fire you. I should have done this a long time ago.

SPEAKER_04 33:41

Well then I got no other option than to reveal again. A gun. Oh, a gun. Again. Again. No, I hold this up.

SPEAKER_12 33:56

I hold this up and I say to you, what do we know about guns? I use a I'm gonna do a m- I'm a high wizard, so I'm gonna do a magic spell to turn the gun into uh a fleshlight. No, wait, that's what I was gonna say. I'm gonna roll. I think you should roll.

SPEAKER_03 34:09

Rolling? That's what he's gonna say anyway. So okay, it happens. You're both in agreement. Yeah. You're gonna roll for it.

SPEAKER_12 34:18

And now I'm also gonna do a spell to put a magically put a dunce cap on his head. Okay.

SPEAKER_06 34:24

Can the dunce cap also be shaped like a little fleshlight? So it's but it's like oh no, it's a two.

SPEAKER_12 34:28

So what what where does the dunce cap go?

SPEAKER_03 34:30

Uh you just kind of blind him. Oh no. Oh shit. Yeah, you try to put a dunce cap on him and you like do a little mistake and you just kind of like in present day he's blind as well?

SPEAKER_06 34:38

Yes. Oh no.

SPEAKER_12 34:43

Oh no.

SPEAKER_06 34:43

He says a lot like Will Pumpkin.

SPEAKER_12 34:45

Oh no, get him out of here.

SPEAKER_03 34:46

And then two police officers come in. I would Will Pumpkin. Two police officers come in to arrest High Wizard. What's his name? Quel Quelfner. Quelfner. Oh shit.

SPEAKER_12 34:54

To arrest me? Yeah. High Wizard Quelfner. Okay.

SPEAKER_03 34:56

And so then you you scream that you're gonna get vengeance on him later in life as you get hauled off.

SPEAKER_12 35:03

Oh.

SPEAKER_11 35:03

Oh right. Come with us. I will get vengeance on you.

SPEAKER_06 35:08

That's the last thing I do. Yeah, you'll get vengeance for blinding a guy.

SPEAKER_00 35:16

Your own actions blinding him unjustly. Yeah, you'll get vengeance.

SPEAKER_04 35:20

I can't see. I can't see. Can I can I roll to see if I do a series of hilarious bumps and pratfalls on my way out of the office?

SPEAKER_03 35:29

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_04 35:30

Okay, I roll a 15. Yeah, so yeah, you got at least four. Give me four. Oof! That's the side of the table right in my kidney. That's a slinky I brought in. Guess I was gonna show people that if you line it with synthetic material, you can hump it. That's true.

SPEAKER_01 35:50

Oh.

SPEAKER_03 35:53

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 35:54

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 35:55

Three, four, and five. Okay, great. We did it. It happened a lot. So we go back to the platform. Okay. Okay. Okay. We feel like we've we've had enough flashbacks there. There's the work who's the, you know.

SPEAKER_12 36:08

I can't believe that you did all those great dances and you've been blind this whole time.

SPEAKER_04 36:12

What can I say?

SPEAKER_12 36:15

You've got a real stroke of bad luck.

SPEAKER_04 36:18

Yeah, you can say that again.

SPEAKER_06 36:20

And is that other dog that was with you, your CNI pal?

SPEAKER_03 36:23

Oh, yeah, the little dog. Where's that little dog?

SPEAKER_12 36:27

I'm right here. What's your name? My name?

SPEAKER_03 36:32

Oh, here we go.

SPEAKER_12 36:33

Rough Rufus.

SPEAKER_03 36:34

If you think I had a rough go, you should hear this guy's story. Fine. A quick flashback about this Rough Rufus? Rough Rufus. I love Rufus. Rough Rufus. Rough Rufus. Okay, so let's see what happened with Rough Rufus. Very briefly.

SPEAKER_12 36:52

Time to get up. What a great life I'm living right now.

SPEAKER_00 36:55

Oh, Rufus? I'm your granddad that lives with you. Yeah, hey grandad. I just want to note that I'm just doing pretty much one voice, bro. That's okay.

SPEAKER_06 37:04

Hey, that's fine.

SPEAKER_00 37:05

Granddad, like you're doing a great job.

unknown 37:07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 37:08

Okay. Oh, I love you, my boy. You're such a good boy. I love you so much and you made me proud every day.

SPEAKER_12 37:15

Oh, thanks, Granddad.

SPEAKER_14 37:17

Oh, I'm dead. Oh no, he flatlined.

unknown 37:21

What?

SPEAKER_14 37:21

Oh granddad, wake up! It's actually called fleshlined.

SPEAKER_12 37:24

Oh, granddad. Oh no, he's dead. Oh no, I'm late for the floor.

SPEAKER_06 37:29

But as I die, I drop and my finger points to this like conspicuous book in our bookshelf. It's pointing to it.

SPEAKER_12 37:35

I go and get it and I pull it out. Hello. I'm the book. It's a talking book.

SPEAKER_04 37:41

I've got one thing to say to you.

SPEAKER_12 37:44

What is it, talking book?

SPEAKER_04 37:46

Read me in full. Touch me. Read and touch me. Okay. Let's see. Have sex with me.

SPEAKER_06 37:57

No, I don't think I'm gonna do that. Rough what Rough Rufus doesn't notice is that there's a little note that slips out of the book that says like from grandpa that says like, absolutely, under no condition should you read or fuck this book. Please destroy it. But it fell on the book. Yeah, like it fell on the ground, like slipped through the floorboards or something.

SPEAKER_12 38:14

Sweep that away. Yeah, I don't even need to look at it. It's just a bit of paper I don't need to look at.

SPEAKER_04 38:20

I'll tell you a secret. This is me, I'm this. Yeah. If you touch me, right? If you have sex with me, I'll give birth to another book.

SPEAKER_12 38:29

And I'll have another book to read.

SPEAKER_04 38:31

Yes, you have infinite books as long as you have sex with me.

SPEAKER_12 38:34

Oh, that's nice. Alright. So you're you're choosing to have sex with the book? Yeah. I roll to see how good I do.

SPEAKER_03 38:43

Okay, fine. Roll. So you do have sex with a book. I'm so sorry. Twelve. Yeah, it's fine. It's pretty good.

SPEAKER_12 38:51

Does the book climax?

SPEAKER_03 38:52

I don't know. It was fine. For both of you, it was it was like it was pretty reasonably um a nice sex. Okay.

SPEAKER_12 39:03

That was nice. Thank you. What's this feeling I have over me? Love. Am I turning into a book?

SPEAKER_03 39:14

Okay, so I just wanna I just want to say that he is not a book in the future. So we have like another few story beats here. So he gets turned into a book. Yeah. Then he has to get turned back into a little dog. Yeah.

SPEAKER_12 39:26

So that looks like I put propose that the book, the original book, turns into a dog. That's what I was gonna say. Stole his stole his identity.

SPEAKER_03 39:36

He gets switched. And I'm gonna switch. Okay, great. Okay, great. Back to the subway platform. Okay.

SPEAKER_12 39:43

Okay. Yeah, and that's just half of the story. Because what happened is I I had sex with the book, and I lived life as a book for a while. And then I switched back. I had to convince someone to have sex with me in book form. Yeah. Yeah, and I felt really bad, but it's the only way I get out of it. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_03 40:03

You see the uh prank! The skeleton holding the velvet pillow of the with the skull passes it to another skeleton in the honor guard, and that big, kind of taller skeleton walks up and goes, I'm General Malmoot.

SPEAKER_02 40:20

I request your presence with the mayor of Skeleton Town down at the Honor Guard. Please, you are the guests of honor. Join me, won't you?

SPEAKER_12 40:31

Can we bring our new friends, the dogs, who do performance on the subway? This is good.

SPEAKER_02 40:37

Only the three of you who have been brought here by McRib may come meet the mayor.

SPEAKER_04 40:42

Can we roll to convince him to let us bring the dogs? Sure. Absolutely. Doesn't convince him?

SPEAKER_12 40:47

I'll let you all do a roll. Please. It's a really they really are great friend. Six. Nope.

SPEAKER_06 40:53

Doesn't hold on. Five. Okay, yeah.

unknown 40:57

Fuck.

SPEAKER_03 40:58

Can you all just can we all just hear how bad you're convincing sort of uh reasons? Come on, we just met them and don't know them very well.

SPEAKER_12 41:05

And we'd like to get to know them.

SPEAKER_03 41:07

Come on. They're just dogs, they're probably shit. I don't like that. That makes me think I don't want them there.

SPEAKER_01 41:14

Please bring the dogs. We've got we want them there.

SPEAKER_02 41:21

That's not very uh unrational irrational argument. Please come meet the mayor. He he longs to meet you.

SPEAKER_06 41:32

Bye, Kurt and Rough Ruffus Rufus. We hope you see you again.

SPEAKER_12 41:36

Bye, guys.

SPEAKER_06 41:38

Alright, Kurd's a little quiet, but whatever. Bye, guys. There he is. He takes you down.

SPEAKER_03 41:47

There he is. As you approach all the honor guard skeletons salute. The uh big guy who brought you down picks up the sk the skull on the pillow and he says, presenting Mayor Osric of Skeleton Town. Hello. The skeleton talks on the pillow. Oh, and are we still we're still in the subway? Oh wow.

SPEAKER_09 42:08

Welcome to Skeleton Town. We have heard of you, and we have made a great feast for you to enjoy. Tonight enjoy the Nett!

SPEAKER_06 42:19

Oh look, I have a pillow for you to sit on. And I I take out a whippy cushion and I pick him up and I put him on it and goes. And he laughs.

SPEAKER_15 42:27

He goes, Oh, he liked it. I love you all. You guys are great. Tonight we will feast on your favorite foods. And you will go to bed, and in the morning you will all receive everything you want.

SPEAKER_04 42:41

Can he can Kevin can Kevin put him on uh do the same prank again on another whoopee cushion? It's just the exact same prank. Okay.

SPEAKER_06 42:49

Oh uh let me just put you back on the your old pillow. And I pick him up and I'm like taking the the the thing and I'm trying to open the little flap and blow into it and like phew. It's okay. I know what you're doing. I put him on it, and he goes, I know you're doing it. I'm like, oh man! Whoa! Decoration of uh That's awesome.

SPEAKER_15 43:07

That's why you've been brought here.

SPEAKER_06 43:09

That's what I like to eat, is farts. What? And I tumble, I tumble on the ground.

SPEAKER_15 43:14

You will see at the at the grand feast, you will be treated as royal guests.

SPEAKER_06 43:21

And then I go to give the mare a hug, but I've actually got the whipping cushion in my shirt, and I go, oh, okay.

SPEAKER_15 43:29

Maya I know, no. Maya! It's nice. I wish I could fart again. I am but a skull.

SPEAKER_12 43:39

And in the background, we see High Wizard Quelthnar pff coming out and finding the dogs. This is like deep background. And he like casts a spell at Curd and Curd because he vowed revenge for blinding him.

SPEAKER_03 43:52

Yes, yes.

SPEAKER_06 43:53

Oh man, but Rough Rufus jumps in the way and gets hit by the spell and gets turned into a book again. Okay.

SPEAKER_03 44:00

We have to do some rules here. We have to do some rules here. So we're in this conversation with Mayor Osric. Yeah. And you're saying, Mark C that uh the high wizard from the flashback has found his quarry and is there to try to assassinate them in this moment?

SPEAKER_12 44:17

Rough Rufus is gonna jump in front.

SPEAKER_03 44:19

Okay, let's see. So let's do a roll from you, Mark C, for the spell you cast. Okay. Rolling. And then we'll do a roll from Rough Rufus to jump in front. Yes. Okay. So it's terrible. It's a terrible spell. Yeah. All it does all it does is blow your own hand off. Okay.

SPEAKER_12 44:40

Ah I blew my own hand off, and for that, I will avenge you. To avenge you.

SPEAKER_11 44:51

I will get whoever did this to you.

SPEAKER_03 44:53

Oh, Ralph Rufus does jump, but it doesn't matter. Right. So he says it jumps. Okay. Quel thumbs up. The skeleton guard turn around and see you, uh, the high wizard, and like take him into custody and take him away.

SPEAKER_11 45:06

I will avenge you.

SPEAKER_04 45:12

Um can can we uh can we find out about the mayor? Sure.

SPEAKER_03 45:17

Mayor Osric, just the skull. Tell us about yourself, Mayor.

SPEAKER_06 45:21

As we're walking.

SPEAKER_15 45:22

Ah, yes. I've been mayor for thirty years. I love Skeleton Town, and only want to get more guests to visit.

SPEAKER_12 45:36

What are your policies and stuff like? How did you get elected?

SPEAKER_15 45:41

There is no election. I am just I have inherited the job from my father before me. It's not democratic You should be scared, Will.

SPEAKER_11 45:54

That is frightening.

SPEAKER_15 45:57

You are our guests of honor. You'll receive everything you love to eat, and you will be put in the most comfy of rooms separate, of course. And in the morning you will get everything you've ever wanted. I want courage. You will have that. You will have courage in the morning. And you, Chain, you will receive freedom, and your ex-wife will be with you.

SPEAKER_12 46:23

That's what I want most. I want Mira back.

SPEAKER_15 46:25

And me, I want Ryan Beale. And me, I want to read.

SPEAKER_06 46:29

I want to. I mean, and I hug you again and go, no, me, I mean fart.

SPEAKER_15 46:35

You will receive so many ideas for pranks. Yeah, I need a few more.

SPEAKER_14 46:44

Oh my god. Why are you offering us such uh wonderful gifts? Because Skeleton Town thrives and lives unvisited. Something seems suspicious.

SPEAKER_12 46:58

They're gonna eat us. I roll for suspicious. You roll for suspicious.

SPEAKER_06 47:04

Okay, great. That's good.

SPEAKER_12 47:06

Okay, I'm rolling a 19. Oh, yeah, you're very suspicious.

SPEAKER_03 47:10

You're highly suspicious. You can't you you can't you can't be chill. You can't be cool. You were suspicious of this whole night.

SPEAKER_12 47:18

This is not something's off here. Nobody just gives somebody his ex-wife back and asks nothing in return.

SPEAKER_06 47:24

I also want to roll because you're offering me to read and to have my taxes done, but my taxes not being done is actually a prank on the government, and I want that to be that way. So him actually solving it is like, wait, what? Like So I want to I'm gonna roll to see if that's suspicious to me as well.

SPEAKER_03 47:40

Okay.

SPEAKER_06 47:41

16. Yeah, you're also suspicious. What the hell? I don't want my taxes to be done. I love cheating on my taxes. I prank Ryan B.

SPEAKER_12 47:52

Something feels off here, doesn't it?

SPEAKER_03 47:54

And you notice, like, you're surrounded by skeletons. They're like patting you on the back, but they're like ushering you towards this grand hall, which is a huge rib cage with doors made of femurs.

SPEAKER_12 48:07

What do they do with the rest of the bones? It's like just mostly femurs.

SPEAKER_03 48:10

A lot of them aren't useful for building.

SPEAKER_04 48:12

Can I roll to steal a gun from uh from a guy? Yeah. So again, it'll be a bone gun. Bone gun. And we have a gun.

SPEAKER_12 48:19

Will's gonna steal a gun? How brave.

SPEAKER_03 48:21

Well, I rolled a four.

unknown 48:24

Nice.

SPEAKER_03 48:25

So yeah, you kind of like try to wrestle a gun and he kind of swats you away, and then the whole party stops and goes, Why?

SPEAKER_15 48:32

What is wrong with everybody? Why are you so suspicious? We only want to feed you, house you, and give you everything you want.

SPEAKER_03 48:42

I pick up the head and I like You pick up Mayor Osric. Yeah. Ever and like, everyone's it's tent. Wait, everybody was picking up the head.

SPEAKER_12 48:51

Kevin hugged it, Kevin sat it on a fart. Okay, fine, okay, fine. Okay, fine. You can pick up the head. Yeah. So I pick up the head and I go like, tell us what you're on about. I don't trust you. And I shake it.

SPEAKER_03 49:02

He looks at you with dead, empty skeleton eyes and just goes, like, All I want is to give you everything you want.

SPEAKER_15 49:10

We are good here in Skeleton Town. I don't trust you.

SPEAKER_04 49:15

He tries to kiss you, he goes, And then the mayor's assistant goes, Oh I can't I can't wait to eat these guys.

SPEAKER_06 49:25

And then all the all the skeletons that are around them all go, yeah, yeah, there's two. And they all start patting their like their empty space where their stomach should be. Eating these guys. Yum, yum, yum.

SPEAKER_13 49:35

Hey, hey guys, guys, guys. Guys, let's just be chill. Let's go to the, you know, let's let's follow a step through one through three, you know what I'm saying? Okay, to the point of the colour.

SPEAKER_06 49:45

They all pull up, they all they all pull out this pamphlet that's like the mayor's guide to eating visitors, and they're like, oh yeah, step three, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 49:52

Listen, so you've identified that you're in danger, but how are you gonna get out of it? You're surrounded by a skeleton honor guard, you're being ushered towards this grand hall, you know, you've already tried to steal a gun, it didn't work. I mean, how are you gonna try to get how are you possibly gonna get out of this?

SPEAKER_04 50:08

I'm gonna try and steal a gun again. Okay. I roll a nine. No.

SPEAKER_06 50:13

Uh I go, oh Mayor, mayor, do you mind if me and my competitors have a moment to freshen up before the meal?

SPEAKER_12 50:20

Yeah. We need to wash our hands, something you probably aren't used to anymore.

SPEAKER_15 50:24

We aren't familiar with that. We have no flesh.

SPEAKER_12 50:27

Yeah, flesh is quite dirty, you know.

SPEAKER_15 50:28

You may go down by the river, but you will be accompanied by five anagards.

SPEAKER_04 50:33

How about two? We need five Guys, I've got an idea.

SPEAKER_06 50:40

Yeah?

SPEAKER_03 50:41

So you're being like they they go off into the Grand Hall, which is again a big sort of ribcage building, and they sort of like push you down towards a river which is kind of murky and gross. I'm gonna steal one of their guns.

SPEAKER_12 50:54

You've tried, Will, you've tried twice. I rolled an eleven. It's been quite obvious.

SPEAKER_07 50:59

No.

SPEAKER_12 51:01

Alright, alright, alright. I couldn't do it. Will I'm proud of you for doing something, you know, but you just I'm gonna give you you only have two more attempts at the gun. Oh wow, that's a lot. Why we're gonna do chain!

SPEAKER_04 51:16

Yes, and Bill Garden keeps going, why is it keep trying to grab my iron? Will build me up!

SPEAKER_11 51:21

Will you have it in you? We all are born with something, and that is called the courage of the human being.

SPEAKER_01 51:26

I believe you! I'm gonna roll to see if I can steal a gun. That's if it's a new idea. It's a sticks. Oh fuck!

SPEAKER_03 51:35

Come on, Will! One more chance. You have one more chance to take it over, and then they're gonna have to do something. You are so brave. You can do this, Willow.

SPEAKER_06 51:46

I'm gonna do it! Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. Before he rolls, I'm gonna try and do a little prank to give him like, can I do something to give him advantage? Yeah, give him some. Okay, so you can do like a distraction. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like a prank strap.

SPEAKER_03 51:58

Tell me the prank, and then I'll tell you if how much it helps. Okay. This is about you being imaginative here, Kevin. How can you distract that what helps Will Pumpkin seal again?

SPEAKER_06 52:09

Yeah, yeah. Okay, so we're down by the river. Is the river water?

SPEAKER_03 52:12

It's like a murky, muddy, gross water, but it's water.

SPEAKER_06 52:15

Okay. So I grab a I I put like I pick up some water and I splash it all over my crotch and I splash it like on my nipples and stuff. And I go, I go, gods, gods! I'm spontaneously leaking. Uh, you gotta help me over here.

SPEAKER_03 52:31

Nice. Okay, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_06 52:32

Okay, and I'll roll to see if it works.

SPEAKER_03 52:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 52:35

Six.

SPEAKER_03 52:36

Okay, no, they're like, fuck. Okay, they saw you do everything. No. So you get the water.

SPEAKER_06 52:42

Okay, and then I actually I take a little pouch out and I take some itching powder and I go.

SPEAKER_03 52:47

Okay, this is your last bag.

SPEAKER_01 52:49

Three.

SPEAKER_03 52:50

Okay, so it goes back into your face.

SPEAKER_01 52:53

Delivery Ryan Pew. I've got no idea. What is it? Steal a gun.

SPEAKER_03 53:05

You would do it. That was your last one. I told you you had last one. Okay, so you steal two guns. You're able to get double guns. And you have a few moments of them being surprised. What do you do with those guns?

SPEAKER_01 53:18

Oh no, I accidentally got two. Give me one. I'm paralyzed by choice.

SPEAKER_12 53:25

Just give me one. I'm gonna roll to grab one from him. Okay.

SPEAKER_03 53:30

Okay, I rolled a six. Yeah, you you gr you grab you fall down into the river.

SPEAKER_06 53:36

I'm gonna roll to grab one as well. Okay. I'll save you. Oh well, you know, go ahead. Okay, I rolled a 19.

SPEAKER_03 53:43

Yeah, so you grab one of the guns.

SPEAKER_06 53:46

Got it! And I'll go, I'll save you! And I start shooting at Mark in the river. I'm just kidding. I know I'm kidding. I'm not that stupid. Uh okay, so uh I guess I'll shoot at one of the guards.

SPEAKER_03 53:58

Yeah. Remember, it won't kill them.

SPEAKER_06 54:02

Oh, yeah, because it just makes them bigger. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 54:04

Yeah. Yeah.

unknown 54:06

Fuck.

SPEAKER_06 54:07

Uh what are they standing on? Can I shoot the ground and they like slip and fall into the river or something? Cool.

SPEAKER_03 54:12

That's a really cool idea, Kevin.

SPEAKER_12 54:13

What are the guns? Are they just their hands?

SPEAKER_06 54:16

Yeah, like I was saying before that it was like his hand and it shoots the tip of the finger off. And when he shot himself in the head, the bone just became part of his own head and it made it bigger, is what I said earlier.

SPEAKER_03 54:24

But they are guns. So you could use them to somehow you're by a river. You've got guns.

SPEAKER_06 54:30

You could use it somehow, you're by a river, you could shoot the river and it could do something, or you could throw them in the river and the river can shoot. Yeah. I'll save you the trouble.

SPEAKER_04 54:44

Alright. Can I Kai shoot myself to because I'm scared? No, it'll kill Will. Give it back to him. Will will die if we alright. I won't do that. Kevin, are you gonna shoot out the ground?

SPEAKER_06 54:55

Yeah, I'll try and shoot the ground underneath the what the guards maybe and see if it like breaks uh breaks up the loose rock and makes them slip and fall.

SPEAKER_03 55:02

Great.

SPEAKER_06 55:04

Okay, here we go. Three, two, one. Fourteen?

SPEAKER_03 55:07

Yes, good. You shoot, yeah, two of them go slap whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. They fall into the river and then they splashing around. Here's the thing skeletons can't swim. Nice.

SPEAKER_12 55:20

And I go and grab one, I'm gonna throw it, throw one into the water.

SPEAKER_03 55:23

Because you notice that in the moment.

SPEAKER_12 55:25

Yeah. Okay, great. So there's three remaining. So I'm gonna grab one of them and throw them into the water. Okay, I rolled a three.

SPEAKER_03 55:32

Yeah, so you slip down and fall back into the river. Fuck.

SPEAKER_06 55:37

Okay, I want to grab Will by his legs and like use him like a like swing him to hit, like hit one of them with his like loose body hard. Let's see what you get. Because Will's kind of like a goopy blob guy.

SPEAKER_04 55:48

Oh yeah, I'm kind of goopy. Fifteen.

SPEAKER_03 55:51

Yeah, so you grab Will and you hit one of them, and one of them falls into the river. So there's one left.

SPEAKER_12 55:56

Okay, so I get out of the river and I try to grab the one that's left.

SPEAKER_03 55:58

Okay, this is you. Just get out again. Yeah, just get out.

SPEAKER_12 56:02

Nine.

SPEAKER_04 56:03

No, you fall back. So then I guess there's just one guy. There's just one guy.

unknown 56:12

Okay.

SPEAKER_06 56:13

And I just I just point at him and I go, get in the river, bitch! No, I'm just pointing at him.

SPEAKER_03 56:20

I go, get towards you, and he grabs you. Oh fuck. And now you're you're in mortal combat, being struggling together as he's trying to grab you, throw you into the river.

SPEAKER_12 56:30

I get out of the river and I grab that skeleton. Okay, this is your last. This is your last one. There we go. 16.

SPEAKER_03 56:36

Yes! You get him. Wrest him away from Ryan Beal. And you do kind of a cool push move, and he's in the river. They're all floating down the river. You got him! You got him all.

SPEAKER_12 56:48

No bones about it.

unknown 56:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 56:51

And then and then ship the tomorrow. Nice. Oh, nice. Femer. Nice. Yeah. Yeah. Um, well, it seems like maybe we should use the bone guys as a raft and escape on the river. Yeah, they're floating pretty slowly.

SPEAKER_03 57:13

And they're drowned at this point. Skeletons can drown.

SPEAKER_12 57:15

Okay. Quickly. Tie the bones together to create a pontoon. Do you have anything that you use as a tie? Yeah, I have a bunch of string in my pocket. String, though. Not rope. Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 57:29

I got lots of loose, tiny string in my string. Okay. Fine. Um. Yeah. Um and I have uh uh what would be like a prank thing that I have that I could tie things together with.

SPEAKER_03 57:41

Um some fake vomit. You could use your whoopee cushion as like a motor.

SPEAKER_06 57:44

Yeah, a floatation.

SPEAKER_03 57:46

Yeah, a little motor to push it up constantly to go faster. Can we do a little roll mark to see uh mark see how um how well you tie them together?

SPEAKER_12 57:56

Yeah, here I go. Uh rolling to tie bones together. I rolled a 17! Yes.

SPEAKER_03 58:03

They're very tight. Nice. You made a nice raft, mostly out of ribs and femurs. Cool. Unless useful bones. And so now you are all kind of like you're still a little bit submerged, like it's not all dry, but you're like hanging on to this kind of like bone flotilla, basically.

SPEAKER_12 58:19

And we see a sign on the river that's an arrow pointing in the direction that we're floating, and it says to Oregon City. And it's like it's like skeleton city, except it's people made out of or just organs. The organ trail. The organ trail, nice.

SPEAKER_03 58:32

Okay, so do we all like this? We want to keep going. We all want to go on the organ trail. Do we like this? Is any of this fun? Or do we want to go on to the room? Anyone at home?

SPEAKER_06 58:41

Are you enjoying this? Or do we want to do a roll? I like going to organ trail.

SPEAKER_03 58:46

I'm letting I'm letting it uh up to a vote for the party. Do we want to go on the organ trail?

SPEAKER_04 58:50

Um, maybe I'll roll to drown. Okay. I rolled a nine. You do not drown. Oh you get close, though.

SPEAKER_12 59:00

You get close to the road. I can't swim. Stay on the that's why I made the raft, Will.

SPEAKER_03 59:07

I can't swim. Come on. So you float down the river, gets a little bit, it picks up some speed as it takes it uh around the band with the sign. It says the Oregon Trail.

SPEAKER_10 59:17

Um a skeleton holding Mayor Osric runs out of the grand hall and he goes, No, no, but you you I had everything planned. We needed your bodies and flesh to sustain us.

SPEAKER_03 59:32

So they were going to destroy you. Oh my god, wow. But they were gonna strip you of your memories and your flesh. Oh uh, because that's how skeleton uh town um sustains itself.

SPEAKER_04 59:41

So And then can we hear from the uh the um an opposition guy who wants to be mayor? Uh um how it could be because Mayor Osric promised that this would work.

SPEAKER_03 59:53

Yeah. Can it be um not just a skeleton? So you know how Mayor Osric is just a skull on a pillow? What's the what do you think would be a fun little uh opposition um skeleton guy? Maybe he's just the body? Yeah, it's the rest of his body. They separate guy. He's running against the body. So it's Mayor Osric's former body?

SPEAKER_12 1:00:12

Yeah, that left because they had he had differing views.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:15

Okay, so who wants to play this guy? And let's name him and let's hear from him. I think Mark should play him because he wanted to do this. Okay, let's hear let's hear this little uh uh sort of uh political hit from Mayor Osric's former body. I can't talk.

SPEAKER_12 1:00:31

He's just gesticulating a lot.

SPEAKER_10 1:00:34

ASL is skitting it.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:37

And I guess the skeletons are like, he's making a lot of good points. Yes, I agree with him. And he's just pointing at things. He's like, lots of good points. Really good points. Excellent points. Solid. Wow. Skeleton town has been thrown into turmoil. You were right to escape because they were gonna try to take it, take your life from you. Yes. Wow. Your flesh and your memories. Um but now the party is on this skeleton-made flotilla floating towards the Oregon Trail. Um, can we have an outro from you guys about how you feel? About uh what you think is gonna happen next time.

SPEAKER_12 1:01:09

Why don't we do a quick flashback to uh the to the presentation that um uh Curd? That Curd did does. Because we never heard from Kurd, right? But he was sabotaged though. Oh no, no, no. We saw a lot of it actually.

SPEAKER_06 1:01:23

We saw a lot of that. It ended with Kwelthnar trying to assassinate Kurd and failing and blowing his own hand off. And then I will avenge you.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:31

Actually, that's a nice that guy that guy could come back again. He just wants to avenge things that he's gonna be.

SPEAKER_06 1:01:38

I guess that would be the stingers, that it'd be like slowly like the camera panning up on the ground, and you're actually in the skeleton prison and Quelthnar's there. Yeah, you know, doing like he's doing like like pull-ups, getting like jacked. He's all sweaty and like red. Okay, let's hear some tattoos.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:51

Let's hear from Quelthnar and then Quelthnar's uh uh cellmate. Yeah, and then that'll be the end. Yeah. He's getting really jacked, and he looks right in the camera and goes, Heh heh, I will avenge you.

SPEAKER_06 1:02:03

I'm trying to I'm trying to play with my prick.

unknown 1:02:06

Yes.

SPEAKER_06 1:02:07

I found this new thing called a fleshlight coming out of Dog London. It's amazing.

SPEAKER_11 1:02:12

Yeah, yes. My company actually rolled those out a few years ago. Really? Yeah, it's my company. Hey, oi, you two!

SPEAKER_12 1:02:22

Oh keep it down in there. Alright, alright, alright. I forgot I can only do a pull-up with one hand because my other hand is blown off.

SPEAKER_06 1:02:28

That's right, even stronger. Good attention to it.

SPEAKER_12 1:02:31

Keep it down in there! Yes.

SPEAKER_06 1:02:33

I've got some vengeance to do too. Why don't we team up? Oh, what did I just say?

SPEAKER_05 1:02:39

Sorry, sorry.

SPEAKER_03 1:02:40

Alright, alright, alright. Yeah, you gotta listen to the walrus guard there. I'm coming in! Floop, floop, floop, floop.

SPEAKER_12 1:02:48

There's no need for coming in, walrus. I told you what would happen if you didn't obey me. I cast a spell at the walrus. What is it? It's uh it's to take off his tusks. Okay. There we go. I'm rolled a nine. Uh it takes off one tusk. What the hell?

SPEAKER_05 1:03:10

If you come any closer, I'll do the other one. Okay, I'm gonna roll to tase you. Oh shit. Sixteen. Yeah, you get tased. Oh shit, that looks rough. You want some of this? You want some of this? Yeah! Oh, that sucked. You do?

unknown 1:03:29

Yeah!

SPEAKER_05 1:03:29

You want it? Uh-huh. Uh no, I don't. Yeah, give it to me, daddy. You're not supposed to want it. Yeah. No! Do tase me, bro! No!

unknown 1:03:41

Come on!

SPEAKER_05 1:03:42

I roll to not tase you. Okay. 13. You do tase them.

SPEAKER_10 1:03:48

Oh no! I will avenge you!

SPEAKER_03 1:03:55

No! And we pan out from there. The the dictaze, the door is open. Maybe they escape, maybe they don't. But that was a fantastic session of the nightmare party. The party continues to get out of danger. I mean, it would have been fun to go to the big uh hall of the uh grand feast I was planning. Yeah, yeah. But you know what? You smelled the danger and you got out of it before you got to it, which is I think uh pretty good DD instincts. Nice. Now you're floating down uh a muddy, murky river called the Oregon Trail. And we'll see if you get out of it. I mean, maybe you could just get off the flotilla and go right back to Tenther, which is fine. Yeah, who knows? Maybe you'll discover um new and exciting NPCs along the way. But either way, I I thought that was really good DD you guys did. You guys kept yourselves out of danger and you kept yourself safe. So kudos. Thanks, Ryan.

SPEAKER_12 1:04:45

Thanks, Ryan. Awesome session.

SPEAKER_03 1:04:47

Yeah, yeah. Join us next week on another installment of the nightmare parry.