Nightmare Party - Chonkoville

Chain is dead, Ryan Biel (the dwarf) visits a family of beavers, and Will Pumpkin brings a pile of dead bodies to Chonkoville.

Transcript

SPEAKER_15 0:14

Welcome back to Nightmare Party, a DD adjacent comedy podcast where I, Ryan Beale, have convinced some of my very funny, very cool friends to finally play DD. A version of DD, our version of DD, where we're just rolling D20s, focusing on story and fun and our imagination. Before we get to a little light recap, uh Mark C, Mark L, and Kevin L, how are you all doing? Ready to get fantasy?

SPEAKER_03 0:46

I'm really excited. I can't wait to see what what you know what what this uh episode has in store for me as a player. You as a man. Me as a man. You as a father. Me as a father. Thank you, Kevin. Yes. All of that's going on for you. A son? Me as a son. And a holy ghost.

SPEAKER_15 1:07

Ghost. Okay, fantastic. Well, that's great. So we're here we are. The party of uh Will Pumpkin Chain and Ryan Beale, the Prankster Dwarf, played by Kevin. Ums uh to say the least last episode. Um there was a lot of death, a lot of death last last episode. It was a big dead episode. Um uh the uh NPC characters, the Eel Brothers twins who finished each other's sentences were killed. They were great. They were great. Uh a turtle. Uh he was either Mr. Turtle or Mr. Shell or just turtle guy. Uh he was just trying to swim away. He was killed.

SPEAKER_13 1:49

Little top hat on.

SPEAKER_15 1:50

Little top hat and such. And then a beaver. A beaver was almost killed, uh, but uh you all threatened his life and told him you knew where he lived, you knew where his lodge was, so he went. We did see a little snippet of the beaver at home with his children. He was quite traumatized by it.

SPEAKER_12 2:10

Ryan, could you remind us what the beaver sounds like? He kind of sounds like this kind of guy.

SPEAKER_15 2:15

He's kind of a cute little guy, he's kind of classic beaver. And he's like, I think they fucking died. They fucking died. We're in the land of the river folk. A lot of river, you know, like eel guys, beaver guys, turtle guys. Um we're on the river here.

SPEAKER_13 2:30

Are turtles in the river?

SPEAKER_15 2:31

Sure, some are. Absolutely. Yeah, river top. Rivers, lakes, they they left elevators.

SPEAKER_12 2:40

Turtle sanctuaries, exactly.

SPEAKER_13 2:42

Yeah, sewers.

SPEAKER_15 2:43

And so you made the decision to try to revive these. All you were like, maybe obviously felt some regret uh for the murdering, and so you decided to go to Choncoville, a sort of nearby river town, to try to find a wizard or someone familiar with the dark arts to revive these dead people, to bring them back to life.

SPEAKER_16 3:05

And Chonkoville is like a neighboring town to Wizardville.

SPEAKER_17 3:09

Wizardopolis. You could between Wizardopolis and he's the reason our entire party fell apart.

SPEAKER_13 3:18

Exactly. That's the story of the back of the brother.

SPEAKER_15 3:20

But things real speaking of falling apart, things took a turn for the worst. I don't remember the uh incident that uh but I see what why, but Will Pumpkin did kill.

SPEAKER_14 3:33

Will Pumpkin's brother named Doppelulus?

SPEAKER_03 3:37

That he that he was uh in the war with Doppelus the coward.

SPEAKER_14 3:40

Oh yeah, all about the war memories. Then some pervert came in and def and left of himself on the body, and that turned out to be Ryan Beal. That turned out to be Ryan Beal, who as a prank was doing that, and then it was revealed that Mark uh Chain had gone to war with Doppolis, and Doppelis was such a whiny coward.

SPEAKER_12 4:04

They ripped him to shreds and said sent him home. I think the big picture is that I kill I killed my I killed Chain. Will Pumpkin killed Chain out of uh furious vengeance feelings. Yeah. Defending the memory of his brother. And then tried to get away.

SPEAKER_15 4:22

Killed Chain Beatle and uh you would you also attacked Ryan Beal. Yeah. Attempted murder. Uh Ryan Beal got away, ran into the forest. So now everyone's all over the map here.

SPEAKER_14 4:34

But then Will Pumpkin was like seemed remorseful somewhat and like took Chain's body and put it in the pile of bodies that we have in a in a big net uh to resurrect. Yeah.

SPEAKER_12 4:44

Try and bring that one back too.

SPEAKER_15 4:45

So we're gonna start in many different places, you know, at least two. One still on the raft, Will Pumpkin, two, Ryan Beal, somewhere hiding in the forest or downriver, upriver, somewhere else. And finally, but we have to start with you, Mark C. Chain died. Your beloved Chain, uh the tough human guy who we met in the prison who was trying to teach Will Pumpkin to be less of a coward, was killed by Will Pumpkin. It did work, it worked too well, some would say. So now we we're hopeful that Chain can be resurrected if we find a wizard. And knowing you guys, you'll probably just find a guy with within seconds and demand that he brings it back to life. So I'm sure that'll happen. But in the meantime, before that happens, there might be sort of some bumps along the way. I do want you to be able to play a character, Mark, uh, for this episode. Uh and maybe multiple episodes, depending on how long it takes. So I did you have an idea you want to jump right into? I also had some rapid fire questions if you want to go that route or some pre-made ones. Whatever you want to do. It's up to you.

SPEAKER_03 5:52

Yeah. Because we're we're fractured as it is. If I pitch a character and then I don't and then I'm just on my own, you know, so maybe we should figure out what's happening. You know, and then I could maybe come in. But what what are your what are your questions or what what are you?

SPEAKER_15 6:06

I have five rapid fire questions you would answer within five seconds of each question, and then that's your character. I have two pre-made characters you could just roll for one or the other. Right. Or you could just decide on which character. I think we should decide on your character off the top, and then we can like get into everyone's little uh separate storylines because I hope hopefully we all reunite pretty quickly because that's where it's the most fun.

SPEAKER_03 6:26

Okay.

SPEAKER_15 6:27

Did you have an idea?

SPEAKER_03 6:29

Well, I thought I a portal could open and I could come out from a different dimension. Go on. As a uh an alien from a different planet.

SPEAKER_14 6:38

Um from another dimension, but an alien from a different planet in that dimension. In that dimension. So get the line of succession here.

SPEAKER_03 6:49

You know, a rift of sorts. And you're like, I'm not from there, I'm definitely not from here. Yeah.

SPEAKER_12 6:54

Mark pitching basically everything but the character at this point. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 6:59

Well, he or he or they or she is a uh uh is uh um made of you know untouchable kind of light. And they come in and they can't be killed. Okay, and like, you know. Okay, you know what? I love it. Yes, I want to hear that.

SPEAKER_15 7:17

I actually I love this, and I think actually we can if you're made of light, maybe we can link you the reason let's let's start with you and the forest with your glowing hand, you know what I mean? Um yeah, so something that attracts you. So we'll start there. Okay we'll we'll start with that scene. We'll get back to the raft with um uh Will Pumpkin in a bit. But Mark L, feel free to be a passerby or uh anything like NPC in this opening scene. But we'll see, we'll start with we'll start with Ryan Beale running into the forest alone, and he encounters an alien, this new character uh played by Mark C, and we'll see what happens. Welcome to episode 13 of Nightmare Party. Okay, so let's start with you, Kevin.

SPEAKER_14 7:57

Okay, so I'm like, uh going through the going through the wilderness and like wait, like before I like I but wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. I do it from my hand. How about my hand does it? Because it's like connected to the hand.

SPEAKER_15 8:06

Do whatever you want. Let's hear it.

SPEAKER_14 8:08

So like, oh like I'm all I'm all stressed out. My hand starts like glowing and going crazy because of like stress, uh, you know, and I'm like, oh, I need to do some MBSR, I need to do some mindfulness-based stress reduction. So I sit down and I start like meditating, uh, and then I start like lifting off the ground, and the hand like goes, like, and and out of my hand comes Mark's character. Wow. Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 8:31

Hello. Who are you?

SPEAKER_14 8:34

I've scottish now.

unknown 8:35

No.

SPEAKER_04 8:36

Hello. What happened? Are you my son? Uh I am Snykon 2. Snyclone? Stickone too? Scyclone? Stikon two. What part of Stykon two? Don't you understand? I'm from another dimension and another planet from a different dimension.

SPEAKER_03 9:01

You called me with your hand of light. What is it you need? I can bring people back to life.

SPEAKER_06 9:09

Really? Oh my god, perfect. I'll allow it.

SPEAKER_14 9:19

Oh my one of my friends just killed my other friend. I I can't remember my accent, it's it's uh British, right? There we go. Yeah. A friend just died. Yeah. Killed by another friend, and now I'm in the woods alone and sounds difficult for you.

SPEAKER_03 9:35

Yeah. I just left my dimension and my planet because you called me here.

SPEAKER_07 9:41

Another thing that's my fault.

SPEAKER_03 9:43

Yes.

SPEAKER_12 9:45

A voice, a voice emanates from uh deep within the hand, sort of beyond the hand.

SPEAKER_05 9:50

It goes Cyclone truo.

SPEAKER_03 9:54

Oh no. Oh no, oh no, oh no. Put your hand up your pocket.

SPEAKER_05 10:01

Put your hand in your pocket.

SPEAKER_14 10:03

I said I put my hand in my pocket. Roll to put my hand in my pocket.

SPEAKER_15 10:06

Sure. Okay. Yeah. It'd be a pretty easy roll.

SPEAKER_14 10:09

Ah, roll the 19. Perfect. Really goes in the end. You really put it in there. Don't do it.

SPEAKER_15 10:16

In fact, you put it in so hard you rip your pants so the pocket's not a pocket anymore.

SPEAKER_13 10:20

And the hand comes back out again.

SPEAKER_15 10:21

Yeah, exactly.

SPEAKER_05 10:25

You owe me a lunch.

SPEAKER_03 10:27

Yes, yes. Yeah, I'll get that soon.

SPEAKER_04 10:30

I'm helping a friend out over here on another planet in a different dimension now, but I'll get with you soon. Did you want to come here? Okay.

SPEAKER_14 10:42

Okay. Don't meditate again. Okay, here we go.

SPEAKER_05 10:47

Cyclone two.

SPEAKER_12 10:52

Who comes out?

SPEAKER_13 10:53

What does this look like?

SPEAKER_12 10:53

I bought Okay, this guy's he looks identical to Cyclone 2, but smaller. And he's and he's wearing and he's got like uh he's got a he's and he's um that and that's it. He's smaller. Okay. Right.

SPEAKER_05 11:13

And he goes, I bought you lunch yesterday.

SPEAKER_03 11:17

Yes, thank you. I recall it was nice. We had delicious Rayglons and fantastic pork rands. Pork rinds? Yeah, pork rands.

SPEAKER_04 11:32

You owe me. I want lunch. Let me just see. I oh okay. Let me look on my apology.

SPEAKER_12 11:43

Yeah. What's your name? I want to do a bird swooping down to snatch the character I just created and take it away. Okay, well that's a roll. That's a roll. That has to be a roll. Okay, I don't want that guy around anymore. Oh, okay. Rolled an 18.

SPEAKER_15 11:58

Yeah. Okay, great. Yeah, his bird's small enough. A kind of large eagle comes and snatches up this poor. I guess. Now, Mark, but Mark, you did Mark C, you did say you're made of light and you can't be touched. Yeah. My guy can. Roll something like another guy smaller.

SPEAKER_12 12:16

Roll to see if I can be touched? Yes, you'll roll to see if you can be touched. Okay, I rolled a 16.

SPEAKER_15 12:21

Yeah, okay. Your guy can be touched. You know what it is? I think maybe something about the coming out of Kevin's hand, and this will be new information for you, Cyclone too, as you watch this happen. Because you are a being made of pure light, but then you watch your small little friend positive. You don't have to buy a lunch for him. Oh gets swooped up by kind of a larger eagle. The talons grab him by the shoulders. Take him up into the sky.

SPEAKER_03 12:46

Oh he has gone back to the light. Hmm. No lunch for him, haha. Now, where were we?

SPEAKER_14 12:54

Ho ho name's rotten pill. All these friends they died.

SPEAKER_03 13:02

You understand your hand is deeply connected to all of my people, yes?

SPEAKER_14 13:06

No. I tell you, I'm not sure. How did your hand turn this way?

SPEAKER_03 13:09

It is a door. Your hand is a door. It was a door. In your point of view, if you saw somebody walking down the street with a door for a hand, you would think that's strange, right? Yeah, but I wouldn't immediately think I should go through it.

SPEAKER_14 13:23

That's what why? Because it's their door hand. Consent, my brother.

SPEAKER_03 13:30

We don't have that. We don't have that. Ew, sticklone. Everything is everyone's.

SPEAKER_14 13:40

Okay.

SPEAKER_12 13:41

As they're talking as they're talking, can they be walking toward uh through the marsh? Yes, absolutely. It's a walking and talking. It's a walking and talking. Maybe they're coming maybe they start to see uh a little lodge.

SPEAKER_14 13:57

Oh, maybe we could take some shelter there, see if someone's in there.

SPEAKER_03 14:00

Is this a a lodge of some kind?

SPEAKER_14 14:02

Yeah, and it's not yours. Things everything here belongs to someone else.

SPEAKER_03 14:08

You will mine. Okay. No. All right.

SPEAKER_14 14:12

Oh, look, I knocked on the door of my door.

SPEAKER_00 14:14

How's that trip you out there? Style? Oh shit. Oh fuck, oh shit. Oh shit, oh fuck is you. Oh, I didn't know where this is. I'm just trying to get my kids out the door to go to school. Please, God, please don't. Listen, listen, please don't fucking do anything. You gotta let me in, you gotta let me in. Who the fuck is this guy? Who the fuck is this guy?

SPEAKER_04 14:29

I am Cyclone 2.

SPEAKER_00 14:31

What? Cyclone 2?

unknown 14:33

Yeah.

SPEAKER_10 14:34

I thought it was Cyclone. It was common usage.

unknown 14:38

Okay.

SPEAKER_10 14:39

Look, please, whatever you want. Okay, I just I just try and send my kids to school. Okay, I'm just trying to make their lunches at school. What are kids? Well anything. Offspring. They're my uh uh little beavers that I've made. You've made these? Well through a process of what Explain beaver sex to him.

SPEAKER_14 15:00

He doesn't know shit. I see lots of it.

SPEAKER_10 15:03

I see lots of it. I know what the tails do. Do you would you want money? Do you want you say what do you want? Do you want money? No. I just want I just want to hide out.

SPEAKER_01 15:12

Hide out? You can't hide out in here. My kids are in here, man. So what? Tell them I'm your friend from work.

SPEAKER_10 15:20

I'm at the dam. Okay, okay, okay. Just come in. Just be cool. You can hang out and they'll tell him after school. Hey guys, here's a couple of friends of mine from work. Oh, disgusting. Hello.

SPEAKER_12 15:31

Oh Ryan, I don't want to be the guy who says roll, but do you want to roll to see how convincing this is?

SPEAKER_14 15:38

To the kids?

SPEAKER_15 15:39

Oh yeah. Actually, you know what? If you're gonna play a kid, Mark, Mark Little, why don't you see if you're convinced? Okay.

SPEAKER_12 15:45

Yeah, we'll see about this.

SPEAKER_15 15:48

I rolled it too. You are not convinced. You're that you're pretty sure your your poor father is lying. And you've also he did tell you that he had a harrowing day, so you might you might connect some dots here. Dad is my friend what?

SPEAKER_00 16:01

Daddy's dad is the guys that want to fucking kill you. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Daddy's the guys that want to fucking kill you.

SPEAKER_10 16:09

Hey, Harold, no, okay, these are my friend from work. Um, and well, my one friend from work, and this is his friend. So they're just gonna be here for a bit, and we're gonna die. Oh fuck. Oh fuck, we're all gonna fucking die. No, we're not.

SPEAKER_00 16:21

Harold, Harold, this is so much I wanted to do, still. Please, Harold. It's okay, guys. It's okay.

SPEAKER_12 16:27

We will we gotta get the fuck out of here, Dad.

SPEAKER_00 16:30

I'm not staying school then.

SPEAKER_03 16:32

Why are they so concerned, Ryan Beale?

SPEAKER_14 16:35

Uh it's a long story uh related to the one I tried to tell you earlier that you wouldn't really listen to because you had a guy.

SPEAKER_03 16:42

That a friend of yours was killed? Yeah.

SPEAKER_12 16:44

Oh god, they're conspiring, they're conspiring to fucking kill us today. We gotta get the fucking out of here today.

SPEAKER_01 16:50

Here's some wood and some leaves and a berry, and just get out of here with the battery.

SPEAKER_06 16:57

I can't go to the can't go. Okay. Oh, what are you doing? I'm dying!

SPEAKER_07 17:07

Oh my god, the burning up! What the hell? Stop doing that!

SPEAKER_12 17:15

A little baby, little baby beaver, I want to roll to attack Stiplone 2.

SPEAKER_06 17:20

Okay.

SPEAKER_12 17:21

I rolled a 17.

SPEAKER_15 17:23

Yeah, so you get up in him and he's be he's you're able to touch him here.

SPEAKER_14 17:27

Get away from my dad! Oh, other baby beaver tries to uh only a nine.

SPEAKER_15 17:33

Yeah, you kind of uh you jump but you miss.

SPEAKER_14 17:36

Uh yeah.

SPEAKER_00 17:37

Ah, oh shit! Weewa! Ow! We wa! That's my name! Thanks, PP!

SPEAKER_03 17:44

Does Cyclone 2 die? I don't know. He got attacked pretty good.

SPEAKER_15 17:49

He did, but he's an alien from another dimension, and you were doing what were you in your mind cyclone or cyclone? Was it Cyclone?

SPEAKER_03 17:56

Here's it's originally it was Cyclone. Common use had started being Cyclone.

SPEAKER_15 18:00

Okay. What do you prefer?

SPEAKER_03 18:03

I kind of prefer Cyclone now. Cyclone. Cyclone. Cyclone 2. Okay. So Cyclone 2, he as all the noise was going into his body from from all the the cacophonous kind of stuff, it was emanating out as light. And apparently this light was hurting the beaver dead. It hurt the beaver. Not my intention.

SPEAKER_16 18:20

Yeah, okay.

SPEAKER_03 18:20

So as as more sound goes in, it's just a natural reaction. He can control it, but it was just something that was happening right there.

SPEAKER_15 18:26

Maybe I think the the the attack from the little beaver gets you to stop and you're you didn't realize what was going, so you stopped doing this. Excuse me. And you got a little beaver on your on your shoulders and throat. Like hitting around.

SPEAKER_03 18:40

Okay, no, no, no, no, no. That is stop it. Ow.

SPEAKER_15 18:43

Roll to push him off you.

SPEAKER_03 18:44

Okay. Rolling a D20. Get down up. Here we go. Roll. 18.

SPEAKER_15 18:50

Yeah, you push him off pretty hard. Ow, guys.

SPEAKER_11 18:54

Oh my god, he hit his head on the bookshelf. Oh my god. He's bleeding.

SPEAKER_16 18:59

Peter, you're bleeding.

SPEAKER_03 19:02

I'm gonna leave. Can I just leave? I I I've come. Yeah, I think it's okay if you just leave. Just go outside for a minute. Yeah, no, I mean through your hand door. Oh, you actually just want to leave, Leave. I I got called here. What happens is in my dimension, when there is a great calling for a return to life, that's where I go. And now I feel like we've we've gotten sidetracked and No, but I leave you help.

SPEAKER_14 19:27

No, I need your help. It's it's I've got to get your help. I just have to find a way to find my friend and make him not kill me long enough for you to help.

SPEAKER_03 19:33

I'm here to bring people back to life and chew bubblegum, and I'm all out of bubblegum.

SPEAKER_14 19:37

Alright. But I need to make sure my friends I need to make sure they live. My friends, I need to make sure they live.

SPEAKER_10 19:44

Can I say something? Dad? Yes. This guy's awesome. It's kind of awesome. Yeah, tell me you don't want any. It's kind of awesome. I mean, he was burning me alive, I think.

SPEAKER_15 19:56

Yes, and I apologize. That was a natural reaction to a sound. The beaver looks down and he he appears to have no wounds or anything. It was just crazy pain that emitted from your light. Yeah.

SPEAKER_12 20:07

And when he threw me across the room into the bookshelf, it fixed that little pain in my neck.

SPEAKER_10 20:11

Wow. You'd be dealing with that. Maybe now you can try out for varsity beaver football.

SPEAKER_12 20:16

Yeah, and me he's I'm still under sized.

SPEAKER_03 20:20

Can we cut the varsity beaver football? Dad, I'm not you. Tryouts.

SPEAKER_13 20:26

Yes, cut to quickly cut relative to all these other people, this beaver dad is like tiny, but in the beaver realm, he's like a linebacker.

SPEAKER_15 20:35

He had a really good high school. Yeah. Beaver football career. His son is forever in the shadow, and his son is now trying out at the varsity. Mark C. I love this cutaway to the beaver football tryouts. Is this after this incident or before this incident? Before, I think. So this is a little bit of a flashback. Give me a little bit of a flashback.

SPEAKER_16 20:55

So, Marksy, do you want to play the coach? I'll play the coach. Nice.

SPEAKER_00 20:58

Okay, great.

SPEAKER_17 20:59

All right, guys, let's line up. Can you do a little bit of a beaver with that? Yes, all right, guys, let's line up. Okay, uh, let's see here. Um let's go on going in order of sides. Uh okay, we got Bill, we got Brachton, we got Blacks. Yeah, we got uh Fillmore. We're gonna go to Beaver State this year. We're gonna go to Beaver State. That's right, okay, behind. Okay, oh, oh, Henry. Uh Henry.

SPEAKER_12 21:28

He's Harold, aka P P.

SPEAKER_17 21:30

Yeah, Harold, Harold. How's it going? You lost?

SPEAKER_12 21:34

No, my dad made me come try out for the scene.

SPEAKER_17 21:37

Your dad is a great player, great linebacker, one of the biggest beavers we've ever had. I know. Fat face statue of him in the middle of the school. I have to walk by it every day and look at it. Yeah, he's he's he's a real star. You, on the other hand, you're uh you're a bit uh undersized for the uh varsity uh beaver football team. I know. Uh but you can try out if you want, you just might get hurt. All right.

SPEAKER_12 22:02

No, don't just tackle me right out of the cake.

SPEAKER_09 22:07

Hey, coach. Yeah, what is it? Um, I thought this team was beavers only. Because I feel like we all just tackled a pussy.

SPEAKER_17 22:17

Yeah. Yeah, you know, I tend to agree. Yeah, there we do have a sign on the wall. You know, beavers on the pussy. Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 22:29

Okay, can we cut back?

SPEAKER_13 22:30

This is called Friday Night Bites.

SPEAKER_06 22:33

Nice.

SPEAKER_03 22:34

We cut back. We cut back. So we know the Herald. To kill your coach. It would be the first kill I've ever done.

SPEAKER_12 22:42

Oh my god. Oh my god. That would be so awesome for me.

SPEAKER_03 22:46

You can't kill Cloak Joke. He's a staple. You traumatized your son, can't you see?

SPEAKER_10 22:52

My son just needs you need to get in there and dig deep and try hard. Right, Harold?

SPEAKER_03 22:57

Your son is different than you. He has a different path. Not everyone plays football. Some people have to do that. You shut the hell up to Cloak Hill, okay?

SPEAKER_10 23:04

You're in my fucking house.

SPEAKER_14 23:11

That's right. I mean, but I mean some kids, they don't they don't do sports. They do things like pranks. And they do things like uh being bandits and whatnot.

SPEAKER_15 23:20

So you're holding Beaver Mr. Beaver in pain. You release? I've released.

SPEAKER_10 23:26

Again, no just turn up a wound. Just pain.

SPEAKER_13 23:30

So so fascinating. Did you have do you have are you getting wounds in between these things that are getting cleaned up?

SPEAKER_15 23:38

Yeah, I think like when he's burnt, he feels like, yeah, and like maybe you know, like the Gom Jabbar in uh in Dune, like he he imagines in his mind's eye that he's like burning up, it's so painful. But then when he's released, it's like fascinating.

SPEAKER_14 23:50

Oh, okay, I gotcha. I thought it was like healing him every time.

SPEAKER_15 23:54

No, it's just cool. We'll we'll just go with that.

SPEAKER_12 24:00

When uh when these two leave, oh I don't want to jump, I don't want to jump the gun.

SPEAKER_15 24:06

Well, we don't know if they're gonna leave, but yeah, if they leave and when they leave, we can we can do a little family beaver. You wanna do a family beavers thing thing?

SPEAKER_12 24:13

I wanna I wanna I wanna be I wanna follow them. Oh cute. Great idea.

SPEAKER_14 24:19

Well we're gonna we stayed in here long enough. I I think maybe he the eight go down and I do. Let's let's hang out for a bit. Oh, I think maybe we ought to go, eh? I think we've done enough. You're about to murder. I was trying to do the opposite of murder.

SPEAKER_03 24:33

I would like to leave. I don't like this beaver and the way he raises his children.

SPEAKER_14 24:38

Alright, fine. Well, sorry, Beav. Uh thanks so much for letting us hide out. Um lovely home.

SPEAKER_01 24:46

Hide out from what? What are you hiding from?

SPEAKER_15 24:49

I saw you and your friend, you and your friend kill little eel brothers and Mr. Turtle.

SPEAKER_14 24:55

Yeah. Well, about that, i it's mostly motivated by my friend and his murder, even though I think my murder kicked off. Maybe killing people's murder kicked off everything, but you know what?

SPEAKER_10 25:04

Just get out of my lodge.

SPEAKER_03 25:05

I gotta get my kids to school, okay? All right, all right, and I like to write wrongs. And the first right of the wrongs I need to do is to bring something back to life. But I've got my sights on you and your son. Hmm. Maybe this is my mission. You're a quantum leap. I'm kind of quantum leaping right now.

SPEAKER_12 25:23

As they're talking, uh Kevin's just leading him outside. Yeah, just like grabbing him by the scruff of his light and pulling him back. Quantum leap.

SPEAKER_14 25:33

Come on, here we go. All right then. There we go. Oh, thank you, bye boy. Slam, slam the door.

SPEAKER_10 25:38

Okay, guys, get to school already. Both of you. Sorry about that excitement. I mean, I didn't do anything, but.

unknown 25:44

Dad.

SPEAKER_00 25:45

You gotta cool out. Your friends are so stressful, but they're cool. We like them, but stressful. Ah, Jeremy, shut the hell up. Okay.

SPEAKER_14 25:53

Damn, I thought I I'm not a pushy, I'm big like you.

SPEAKER_01 25:56

Yeah, you're big like me.

SPEAKER_14 25:57

But I'm also I'm also a bit of a lunkhead. You gotta bop me on the head sometimes. Uh I have a I turned out to be a terrible guy.

SPEAKER_12 26:07

Okay, and and maybe and and now as the beaver looks at at Jeremy, aka Weewa, um Harold, aka Pee-Pee, is no longer there.

SPEAKER_10 26:20

Must have gone to school. Oh well. Jeremy. But to school. Where you should go to. I know you got a C plus average.

SPEAKER_11 26:33

Yeah, we'll average that. I'll get a scholarship. Yeah, you will. I'll get a scholarship though.

SPEAKER_10 26:37

You can get scholarship.

SPEAKER_14 26:38

Yeah, so Wood Woodrow University. That's right.

SPEAKER_10 26:42

Oh god, I love you, kid. I love you too, Dad. I love you, buddy. I love you too, Dad. You wanna hey, you know what? This is a bit weird, but you want to crack a beer before you go to school?

SPEAKER_11 26:52

Yeah, Dad. You want to crack a beer. Dad, I'd love that. I've been waiting for this thing.

SPEAKER_15 26:57

I go over the fridge, I get two beers out. Here you go. We've been waiting for you for a long time. You're you're you're you're awesome. You're a good kid. You're a good one.

SPEAKER_10 27:04

Thanks.

SPEAKER_11 27:04

You're awesome too, Dad.

SPEAKER_14 27:05

I love getting a little buzz on before I go to school.

SPEAKER_10 27:08

Yeah, me too.

SPEAKER_11 27:09

Yeah, you did too. I know you did. I heard about you, Dad.

SPEAKER_10 27:11

I like a fucking statue built to me in the fucking.

SPEAKER_14 27:14

Yeah, well, that's why there's this there's a tradition where we always go and put the beer can in the statue's hand because we know you should drink it.

SPEAKER_10 27:21

That's right. Yeah, if I can crash that. Like follow like son. If I can crash that, get out of here.

SPEAKER_14 27:30

The stump doesn't fall too far from the stump. God damn it. You want to have another one?

SPEAKER_07 27:35

Yeah, I'd love to, Dad. Hell yeah.

SPEAKER_10 27:37

Let's do it. I fucking love you, dude. I really love you, dude. Oh, that's good stuff.

SPEAKER_07 27:46

It goes down clean. And half the calories of a regular beer.

SPEAKER_10 27:51

Yeah, I love light beer.

SPEAKER_07 27:53

I love light beers.

SPEAKER_10 27:54

Okay, get the hell out of here.

SPEAKER_00 27:56

Okay, but Dad, do you want to have one more? Six pack. Gotta finish the six pack. Yeah, I mean, when we're gonna leave them in there, they're gonna go bad. Come on.

SPEAKER_12 28:08

Later, but not now. I want to see Jeremy at school. Yeah, I would have to see Jeremy at school.

SPEAKER_15 28:14

Okay, so they've been drinking in the house. Let's follow. We know Harold is sneaking behind, you know, classic, like little guy, you know, maybe hiding behind shrubs, keeping a distance, but not too far, as Cyclone 2 and Ryan Beale walk out of the lodge and back down the river. Now, do we want to check in with Will Pumpkin, see what's going on with the raft?

SPEAKER_14 28:37

Yeah, I definitely should.

SPEAKER_15 28:38

Okay, so we know maybe you're heading in that direction, the two of you.

SPEAKER_14 28:41

Yeah, like we're heading towards the river to try and find him again, but we're gonna go.

SPEAKER_15 28:44

Now, Will Pumpkin, you're at the city gates with a net full of bodies.

SPEAKER_12 28:49

Oh get in there. Chunko uh it's Chonkopolis.

SPEAKER_15 28:59

Absolutely. I was just gonna suggest I think there should be guards. You should have to sort of trick your way inside or at least try to make sure they don't see what you have, your cargo, as you go into the the city gates here. So is it Chonkopolis? What is it?

SPEAKER_03 29:14

Hello, welcome to Choncoville.

SPEAKER_12 29:18

Um no, just a catch of fish. Um I'm here as a vendor.

SPEAKER_03 29:25

Okay, what kind of fish are you vending today, young man?

SPEAKER_12 29:28

Big ones and some magic trout and some fantasy salmon.

SPEAKER_03 29:35

Fantasy salmon? My favorite. Ah. Fantastic. We haven't had a fantasy salmon vendor for quite a while. Hmm. Could I have a sample of your fantasy salmon? Uh oh.

SPEAKER_12 29:46

Oh, pumpkin, you've done it now.

SPEAKER_03 29:48

You scratch my back and it'll go a long way while you're in town, I tell you.

SPEAKER_12 29:52

Oh I'm worried that I've talked to myself now. What have I done? Uh talking to Chain's body. Oh, Chain, what would you do? Big and brave.

SPEAKER_17 30:05

You know. It's hard for you. You're I've got I've got to bring you back to life.

SPEAKER_12 30:15

I'm worried and I'm sad about what I've done.

SPEAKER_02 30:20

Excuse me, young man. What are you talking about? Are you there?

SPEAKER_12 30:25

Uh what's one more? Stab.

SPEAKER_06 30:30

Okay, so let's roll for the stab.

SPEAKER_15 30:33

So you do have you do have sort of sneak attack because he's just peering over you. He maybe gets advantage then. I think so. So it's gonna be an easier roll.

SPEAKER_12 30:41

Okay, well, it better be really easy because I rolled a three.

SPEAKER_15 30:44

No, it's unfortunately it's not good enough. So you do you turn around, you you kind of you you stab like you do hurt him, but you just kind of like what does he call a glancing wound on his stomach. You don't stick him, you just sort of uh slice him a little bit.

SPEAKER_06 31:00

Oh no!

SPEAKER_16 31:02

So right, I mean I'm kind of an NPC kind of uh Yeah, I'll tell you what to do. So you attack. Okay, okay. Well roll with a sword.

SPEAKER_15 31:10

I think you would you I think you would try to like get him on the ground. Wrestle him down. You're gonna wrestle him down. Yeah, here I go.

SPEAKER_09 31:17

Onto my bones.

SPEAKER_15 31:18

Only six. Okay, so you terrible guard. Long, terrible fight.

SPEAKER_13 31:24

I'm somebody else in line at the gates just watching this really bad fight going on.

SPEAKER_15 31:27

I'll be like so you try to get him, but he's wet and slippery, and you kind of slip off and fall on the ground yourself. You're so slippery. Oof. Okay.

SPEAKER_03 31:36

Reset. Do I attack again or what happens?

SPEAKER_12 31:38

I think I get a turn. I think you should go now.

SPEAKER_15 31:41

Yeah, let's go back and forth. Let's go tit for tat here.

SPEAKER_12 31:44

Club you in the head with a bone.

SPEAKER_15 31:48

Okay.

SPEAKER_12 31:49

Sixteen!

SPEAKER_15 31:50

You get him. He's unconscious for sure. He's unconscious. And like he's he's cut pretty bad. He's still alive.

SPEAKER_12 31:57

Okay, well, finish him off then. 20!

SPEAKER_06 32:03

Oh my god. Fuck. What's more? Another one.

SPEAKER_15 32:07

Yes, it's a bit of overkill, but yeah, you hit him on the head like two or three times.

SPEAKER_12 32:12

Then I noticed there's a line behind me, and I was witnessing. Yes, some people have witnessed this.

SPEAKER_06 32:18

I says, Wait, we can all go in.

SPEAKER_15 32:20

So we're we're at like a bit of a crossroads. There are a bunch of people who saw this. Right? There's a line of people.

SPEAKER_12 32:26

I'm gonna make my way through them and try to kill them all. Oh shit.

SPEAKER_06 32:34

Okay.

SPEAKER_15 32:35

Just in a row. Okay, let's say there's let's say there's six people.

SPEAKER_16 32:39

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 32:40

And there are like can you just describe this a bit? Because he was on a raft. Is it a are they is it a river going into Chonkoville?

SPEAKER_15 32:47

Yes, it's a river going into Chonkoville. So it's like if you ever cross the border by car, you know, you're coming up to like the guard gate and the gate. Right. And so behind him are six other rafts boats or rafts or boats or crafts or whatnot lined up.

SPEAKER_16 33:02

Okay.

SPEAKER_15 33:02

Um maybe there's so there's two on one, one on the and then there's two. So it's one, two, three, four, five, six. Two, one, one, two.

SPEAKER_14 33:11

One one person on one raft, and then a family of five. Okay. Yeah, let's make it easier. Single kids.

SPEAKER_15 33:18

No, they're older. They're older. So it's older kids, yeah. It's a part of the five. They're all 20 and up, the kids. And uh and they're on like a fun, like, yeah, they're just like reconnecting uh uh after college. So you start with a single person.

SPEAKER_12 33:35

Oh my god. You saw too much. I'm sorry. What the heck? I'm gonna roll.

SPEAKER_15 33:41

Yep.

SPEAKER_12 33:43

Roll the three.

SPEAKER_15 33:44

Yeah, so yeah, right away you fall down. Uh Kevin, you want to play this guy you attacked?

SPEAKER_14 33:50

Yeah, yeah. So I was gonna say I pick up my anchor of my boat and I try and hit him with it, but I rolled a four.

SPEAKER_13 33:56

Yeah, so I swing and like put a hole in my boat. I'm like, oh shit!

SPEAKER_15 33:59

Yeah, and your boat's sinking now. Okay, back to you.

SPEAKER_12 34:02

Hey, time to club him with a bone. A nine.

SPEAKER_15 34:08

You hit him, but it's like he's still on his feet. It's not enough. You sort of get you sort of like uh give him a black eye.

SPEAKER_14 34:14

I rolled a strong skull. And I try to hit him, I roll eleven.

SPEAKER_15 34:18

Eleven, okay. You you hit you hit him. He's he's knocked on his butt. He's knocked on his keister, so you give him a punch, clock him in the face. Will pumpkin's now on his own.

SPEAKER_07 34:26

I don't like gods, I don't like them. I want to get in here. I'm smuggling things too, alright?

SPEAKER_12 34:30

Just let me in. Alright. I just gotta ensure that the next boat's in the same sort of mindset. I'll back you up, I'll I'll fight with you. Alright, let's go kill them or hit them. Okay. What are you talking about?

SPEAKER_03 34:47

Mark's you'll play all five family members.

SPEAKER_12 34:50

What's going on?

SPEAKER_03 34:51

I don't know.

SPEAKER_04 34:53

That's not very nice.

SPEAKER_12 34:55

They're all from the same family.

SPEAKER_04 34:56

Help me.

SPEAKER_12 34:59

That one man is making a lot of different voices, but I can't wait to hear from the rest of them.

SPEAKER_03 35:06

Yeah, what's with all the voices, guy? I don't know. It's what happens when I get scared.

SPEAKER_05 35:15

What's going on?

SPEAKER_12 35:17

Nice. Um I'm gonna I'm gonna what do I so I'll I'll roll to leap at the Are you gonna attack them right away?

SPEAKER_15 35:24

Are you gonna like engage with them to sort of maybe uh threaten them? Or you've got an ally now. Yeah, I'll try and I'll try and engage.

SPEAKER_12 35:32

Nice, okay.

SPEAKER_03 35:32

Hey, what's going on, man? What's with the crazy femur swinging you're doing?

SPEAKER_12 35:38

So I rolled a seven.

SPEAKER_15 35:41

So you do a pretty bad explanation.

SPEAKER_12 35:44

Right, here's the situation. I've got a lot of my friend died, and I'm just trying to get into the city to bring him back. I killed him. No, don't say that, Will.

SPEAKER_16 36:00

I don't know what the I think I would attack Ryan. What do you think?

SPEAKER_15 36:03

Or I would Well, yeah, I mean you're your family, you saw this fight happen. Yeah. No one died. So you're not the guard died. Holy guard, God, is that the guard died, yeah. So you attack him.

SPEAKER_16 36:13

Okay. I take uh I I have um You're the man with five voices? Yeah. Yeah. So I have a pencil that I'm gonna try to scatter him with.

SPEAKER_04 36:26

I'm gonna you Okay, I'm rolling.

SPEAKER_15 36:31

Five. Yeah, okay. So there's a lot of you you try to, you know, you you throw you thrust with your pencil and it kind of gets them a little bit in the pant leg, but it doesn't uh pierce any skin. Yeah, uh but it doesn't matter.

SPEAKER_12 36:46

I want to scare them so bad.

SPEAKER_15 36:48

Okay.

SPEAKER_12 36:49

I want to get big and scary and scream at them until they flee.

SPEAKER_15 36:53

You want to find something deep inside yourself that really Okay, let's roll for that.

SPEAKER_12 36:57

Okay, I roll a nine.

SPEAKER_15 37:00

Okay, so you try your best, but it doesn't sound like we see it? Yeah, I want to see it, but it doesn't work.

SPEAKER_05 37:07

LEAFS PLE No Dammit.

SPEAKER_15 37:17

Uh so yeah, I think you attack him again.

SPEAKER_16 37:20

Okay, here I go. I'm rolling. Seven. Yeah, okay, so you I'm the guy that decided.

SPEAKER_14 37:28

I'm like, I'm like, alright, this is not this isn't going well. I'm gonna I'm gonna try.

SPEAKER_15 37:33

Nice.

SPEAKER_14 37:33

Oh, I rolled an 18.

SPEAKER_15 37:35

What are you trying to do? Attack?

SPEAKER_14 37:36

I'm gonna try and push their boat away.

SPEAKER_15 37:39

Push their boat away? Yes. Okay, get out of there. You rolled an 18, so you know what you do? You flip the boat. Oh, you flip it and they all fly into the water. It's a pretty impressive display of strength. And I go, I turn to Will Pumpkin.

SPEAKER_14 37:53

I turn to Will Pumpkin and I go, listen, nobody believes anyone wet in this town in Chuncoville. No one will give them a second. Now no one will believe us.

SPEAKER_12 38:04

Dang it. Alright, that's fine. Let's go, let's go. We've got to get in.

SPEAKER_14 38:10

Alright.

SPEAKER_15 38:10

You go back to your raps. Do you say goodbye to this guy?

SPEAKER_03 38:13

I just want to say the character that did the boat flipping, his boat was sinking, so presumably he's also unbelievable just for his future. Yeah, he's wet too.

SPEAKER_14 38:21

I believe in you. Uh what was your name, little boy? Will Pumpkin. Will Pumpkin, you're gonna do something amazing. But don't believe me. I'm sopping wet. Goodbye.

SPEAKER_15 38:36

Okay, you get into the town. You get into the town, Will Pumpkin. You are wet too, because I think you would have done some fighting in the river, you know what I mean? I'm not entirely sure.

SPEAKER_12 38:43

Or did you get dry before I ask for help? I've got dry myself.

SPEAKER_15 38:48

To Choncoville. You're in Choncoville. A bustling river town with people going with this way and that. There's a one big fancy bridge at the end of town that has a few um market uh stalls on it. And other than that, it's just kind of like a classic people fishing. In the distance, you do see a being of uh full uh made of full light walking with your ex uh party member Ryan Beale. You do see them in the distance.

SPEAKER_14 39:18

Oh, so we're already in town.

SPEAKER_15 39:20

Let's say you're like making your way. You like with the Lodge of the Beaver, you made your way in the back side of town. So you're up on the bridge, the market stall with the market stalls. You've you've come in the back way.

SPEAKER_12 39:30

That looks like my friend. But I've scared him. He thinks I'm gonna kill him. I better not approach. Not until I've got Chain back.

SPEAKER_15 39:44

That's so good. That the irony is he could get Chain back if he did approach. Okay, let's cut back in at the market soul. So maybe Mark L. You can be a vendor that um Cyclone 2 and Ryan Beal are dealing with. Maybe the two of you are trying to buy some food. Do you think?

SPEAKER_14 39:59

I'm trying to buy Cyclone a uh a cloak because he's just too conspicuous.

SPEAKER_15 40:03

Oh, great idea. I guess that's a good idea.

SPEAKER_14 40:05

Uh you got any uh got any like cloaks, like oh, light blocking cloaks or anything like that.

SPEAKER_03 40:12

Quite conspicuous. Yeah, I got it.

SPEAKER_14 40:16

Can we see some? Some options, you know. I think this guy is.

SPEAKER_03 40:22

Blackout curtains. Very good.

SPEAKER_17 40:24

Some blue one, yeah. Oh, I like blue.

SPEAKER_03 40:27

I got a yellow one here. No yellow for me. No, thank you. Red one. Red, no, no. Welcome to Capitalism Cyclone 2. Lots of options. Yes, purple cloak. I like the purple, I like the blue. What do you think?

SPEAKER_14 40:42

I think I think purple.

SPEAKER_15 40:45

Yeah, the royal purple. I like that. Meanwhile, just up at another vendor stall, you hear this. Thief! You little beaver thief! He's got herald by his little beaver hand because he was trying to get like a little apple off of a cart, and he's like, You little beaver, you're dead!

SPEAKER_01 41:02

I'm gonna throw you off the bridge and you'll die!

SPEAKER_03 41:05

Wait, that's that beaver's boy.

SPEAKER_01 41:07

Come here. Don't don't hurt me.

SPEAKER_15 41:11

You're pretty small for a beaver. Undersized, somewhat.

SPEAKER_03 41:14

Go pay his go pay for him. That's our beaver. What the hell?

SPEAKER_14 41:18

All right. Oh, hey, hold up, hold up. Who are you? Uh my name's Brian Real. Okay, okay. And I and uh this is my stepson.

SPEAKER_03 41:32

Yes, I'm his stepson.

SPEAKER_14 41:33

No, not well, yeah. He's my stepson, and that little beaver is my stepson's best friend. Play football together.

SPEAKER_12 41:40

Cloaks with uh dragon uh embroidery here.

SPEAKER_14 41:44

Oh, market guy, you can just hang out. We'll be right there.

SPEAKER_03 41:46

We'll be right with you, vendor. Um can I offer you Gecko. Uh Gecko sounds good. Can I offer you excuse me, other vendor? Yeah. Can I offer you some money?

SPEAKER_01 41:58

Money?

SPEAKER_15 42:00

We have a very strict no stealing policy in the bridge uh marketplace.

SPEAKER_14 42:05

Oh, but surely money solves everything, isn't it? Anything how much are you willing to pay? Cyclone too?

SPEAKER_03 42:11

I don't have money. I'm from a different dimension. Okay, well here he goes.

SPEAKER_14 42:16

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Hey, how about this? Uh you ever seen this before? And then I I I I pull up my my little girkin, my little jerk in there, and you see my little like uh penis, but it's like I forgot to take it out all the way, so it's sort of just like the bent like uh coming out of the room. Give me a roll, Kevin.

SPEAKER_16 42:33

Give me a roll, give me a roll.

SPEAKER_15 42:39

I rolled a seven. So seven to reactor something. Vendor reacts uh not well to this. He's like, ew! What the fuck are you doing?

SPEAKER_11 42:46

I'm doing my comedy, I'm doing my jokes, but probably call that comedy.

SPEAKER_15 42:50

I don't like that style of comedy.

SPEAKER_12 42:52

I like stand-ups and punch lines. I can do one of those. I study stand-up comedy. I'm like that's my dream. Okay, if you can make me laugh, I won't throw you off the bridge.

SPEAKER_03 43:02

Just then a bird flies over and drops the other being of light into the town score. There's two of you freaks. Oh, you are fine. I guess I owe you lunch still.

SPEAKER_04 43:22

Uh remember me to my wife. I okay. I will. I'm dying from the impact. Oh, I can bring you back to life.

SPEAKER_03 43:32

Yeah, it's alright.

SPEAKER_04 43:33

Oh, you can? Yes.

SPEAKER_03 43:35

Go ahead and die.

SPEAKER_04 43:37

Alright.

SPEAKER_14 43:38

Uh Wow. His light's gone out. Oh, his lights come back on. You owe me lunch!

SPEAKER_15 43:48

I do, I do. Yes. The vendor drops the little beaver, not off the bridge, but everyone that's silent in the marketplace, everyone saw this happen. Number one, there are these beings they've never seen before that are emitting like mostly light. They saw him drop and die in front of their eyes, and then you did this kind of like procedure, went ah and you came back to life. So they're all freaked out, but they're sh in shocked silence.

SPEAKER_07 44:18

Bow before you, I bow before you. Please, please, uh bring bring my uncle back to life, please.

SPEAKER_12 44:23

No, no, no, please. Oh I can't believe I was gonna charge you for any of these cloaks. Uh please, take all of them. Take my finest cloaks. You're a god to me.

SPEAKER_15 44:32

Please, I'm the guy who's gonna throw the beaver off. Uh my my my my cousin died. Please, can you bring him back to life? We buried him last week, please. You're a god to me. You're a god to me.

SPEAKER_03 44:42

Uh another vendor comes up. Please, please, take this fantasy salmon on me, please. Also, my dad, he died recently. Can you bring him back to life?

SPEAKER_14 44:51

Excuse me, please, please. Somebody took my fantasy salmon and killed it. Can you bring it back to life?

SPEAKER_12 44:56

Bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro. Bro, alright. Here's the situation. Oh no. My okay, so my fucking guy? Like my guy. Let me see your door hand. My guy. This guy. We I was on, so my buddies and I were.

SPEAKER_03 45:14

I go into the hand, I exit. I go into the hand. What?

SPEAKER_14 45:17

He's got a glowy hand?

SPEAKER_03 45:18

No, your glowy hand.

SPEAKER_14 45:19

Well, you go into my glowing hand. I want to get out of here.

SPEAKER_16 45:22

No, my guy, my guy. I leave. I'm gone.

SPEAKER_15 45:26

But it's still a swarm. Everyone's swarming around you, Ryan Beal. They're swarming and screaming. They're screaming for help. They're pleading for help. They're grabbing your clothes. They're shaking you.

SPEAKER_11 45:36

Stop it, Harold. Stop it. My penis is gonna go back in.

SPEAKER_15 45:40

What is it?

SPEAKER_12 45:42

Come on. I know some secret roots from uh my studies. I I know the secret path back door to the stand-up comedy club. That's my dream. My dream has always been to do stand-up comedy. I almost had a chance to show you what I had right there, but we can save that for another day. Sort of a cherry on top of the Sunday. I'm so excited to be with you guys. I'm such a big fan of everything you do. I'm more of a bookish boy. Let's go.

SPEAKER_14 46:04

Oh, you mean the green room? Oh, that's a holy place for us comics. No one else is allowed in there. That's where really that's where the real show is.

SPEAKER_15 46:12

Oh, you're both comedians. It's beautiful. Yes, you just do different styles of comedy. That's great. So Harold does kind of run run down your little thing. He grabs you by the hand, he's little, and he leaves you uh uh kind of under the under the people, they sort of start swarming you, you get under their arms and stuff, and you go down down onto the bridge where there's like a little sort of like and then inside you go inside the bridge, it's like a little bit of a lot of here, yeah. You're running through the bridge, and you go through a little tunnel, and then you pop up into a stand-up comedy club where Mark C is just finishing a set as a different character.

SPEAKER_03 46:43

Yeah, so I said afterwards I was like, not tonight. Tonight I'm gonna get plastered. Thank you very much. My name is Deck. All right. We got a great night of comedy for you. I'm the MC also. It's uh it's it's uh amateur hour. If anybody wants to step up to the mic, you're more than welcome to. This is just come to me sign up. We got a couple people coming up first. Uh up next is uh Roger.

unknown 47:11

Oh right, man, fine, tough.

SPEAKER_15 47:13

Deck goes and sits down uh kind of the back of the bar, uh starts sipping a mead. It's a it's a stand-up club, but it's like a DD stand-up club. So you know what I mean. It's like uh, you know, your orcs, the microphone is some kind of magical crowd work or um Deck.

SPEAKER_03 47:30

Who is that? What it's me, Harold. Oh, hey, hey, uh what's up? Oh hey, Harold, the beaver.

SPEAKER_12 47:36

Yeah. Yeah, the sort of young guy who comes around, don't allow to drink yet, but stop my dad from getting my older brother plastered.

SPEAKER_03 47:45

You got some good you got some good jokes, man. I mean, you you're still pretty green, you you know, but uh do you want some time tonight?

SPEAKER_12 47:53

Oh well, I was gonna ask you to get me and this my friend here out of here, um to see if we could borrow your car and get out of town, but um I think we can wait.

SPEAKER_03 48:03

Some sort of trouble?

SPEAKER_12 48:05

Well, I mean, here's the situation. My buddy here, I I didn't get your name.

SPEAKER_14 48:12

Oh, mate, uh, it's uh Scryon Greel.

SPEAKER_03 48:18

Scry and Greel?

SPEAKER_14 48:20

Yes, not that famous comedian Ryan Beale, who doesn't use tests.

SPEAKER_12 48:26

Ryan Beale, Ryan Beale, Ryan Beale.

SPEAKER_14 48:28

Ryan Beale. Ryan Beale. Oh, Ryan Beale's here? No, no, he's not.

SPEAKER_03 48:31

Such a great prankster, Ryan Beale.

SPEAKER_14 48:33

Uh Grian Freel is here.

SPEAKER_03 48:37

Wait, wait, Dek would know who Ryan Beal was. Deck is rolling to understand. Two. Okay, so no. Yeah, Deck doesn't know.

SPEAKER_12 48:50

Wait, but I I probably know. I'm Harold. I'm the biggest comedy fan in the world.

SPEAKER_15 48:54

Yeah, you are, yeah. So it'd be an easier roll for you. Ryan Beale, I know you. 16.

SPEAKER_12 49:02

Yeah, you know I know you. You're Ryan Beale? Oh my gosh. I've watched your uh pranks v uh c clips in a on the potion uh surface of the surface of the cauldron uh view.

SPEAKER_14 49:26

I don't know. He's kind of evolved since then, you know.

SPEAKER_12 49:29

You gotta show us. We we'll have plenty of time to escape after.

SPEAKER_14 49:33

You gotta go up.

SPEAKER_03 49:35

Yeah, I mean, if you want time, Ryan Beal or Scryin' Real or whatever the fuck your name is, we got time.

SPEAKER_14 49:43

Alright, Deck, don't try and big time me. I've been on the potion surface of the cauldron and your mom's fucking s sniz.

SPEAKER_03 49:50

Yeah, I've seen you on the potion surface of the cauldron before. Thought I recognized you. Yeah, it's right. I try not to watch too much potion surface though on the cauldron, because it's not great.

SPEAKER_14 50:01

You got to, man. That's the future.

SPEAKER_03 50:03

Yeah, but I think it rots your brain. Too much too much potion surface on the cauldron.

SPEAKER_14 50:08

Sure thing, Bill Bill Shakespeare. Fucking SO.

SPEAKER_12 50:14

What?

SPEAKER_14 50:15

What?

SPEAKER_12 50:15

What'd you say? Hey! I'm in the middle of a setup here. Sorry. It's it's the joke orc. I'm the joke orc.

SPEAKER_16 50:26

Go on.

SPEAKER_12 50:27

Let's hear some. Okay, I'm in the middle. We only get three minutes, and already this guy's eating into my time. The host, no less. Yeah. Apologize, man. Call him the host, but he's starting to feel more like a parasite.

SPEAKER_05 50:43

Whoa! Nice. I'm the joke orc.

SPEAKER_12 50:50

Boom, bang, boom, bang, boom.

SPEAKER_14 50:54

That's catchphrase.

SPEAKER_12 50:57

What?

SPEAKER_14 50:58

Well, I mean, he says his catchphrase, you know it's time to laugh.

SPEAKER_16 51:00

Yeah, that's right. I love the joke.

SPEAKER_14 51:02

Bang, boom, bang, boom.

SPEAKER_12 51:04

Two orcs walk into a bar. Love this one. The bartender says, we don't serve orcs here. They tear him limb from limb. Yeah, joke. Yeah, Joe Cark. Wait, wait for it.

SPEAKER_11 51:17

Boom, bang.

SPEAKER_15 51:20

Yeah, it's going crazy. This is all happening. Meanwhile, outside you hear a scuffle. You hear something happening outside. It's sort of like uh Unhand Man. Clamoring around. Exactly. You hear clamoring around. Do you go investigate?

SPEAKER_14 51:34

Yeah, I'm like, well, that voice sounds familiar. Sounds like maybe like a like a some drippy, some like drippy uh like treacle falling on a dis un untuned piano. I don't know why I took so much time to come up with that. You run outside and you see two guys. I know I creak the door open a little bit.

SPEAKER_15 51:52

Great uh thank that's good, Kevin. That's good, that's nice. You don't want to get seen yourself. But you see Will Pumpkin being dragged away by two guards, and they're also taking away the net full of bodies. They're dragging him away to prison, maybe.

SPEAKER_14 52:08

Um my god, and in the in the net I see the dead bodies. Like I see Chain in there and stuff. Oh, Will, he wanted to bring Chain back to life.

SPEAKER_03 52:16

I peek my head. Oh sorry, um Cyclone 2 peeks his head out of uh the hand door.

SPEAKER_04 52:22

What's happening now?

SPEAKER_14 52:26

That's the that's the guy who used to be my friend who killed my other friend. The one I wanted you to bring back to life, but he's getting dragged away.

SPEAKER_03 52:32

This is my calling. This is why I'm here. I know what I'll do.

SPEAKER_12 52:37

Am I talking to a wall? What part of don't talk during my set was hard to understand.

SPEAKER_14 52:46

I got an idea. I'm gonna do some interference, do my comedy routine in front of in front of the guards, and then you raise them back to life. Hey, come on, find them.

SPEAKER_03 52:55

Joke orc is gonna do his last joke. Come on, give him some space. Go ahead. Alright, alright.

SPEAKER_14 52:59

We've got a minute. They're really taking their time dragging Will.

SPEAKER_15 53:02

Yeah, they're taking him, but he's outside the club, so he's being dragged away. Well, let's see how long Joke Orc's joke is, and then I'll let you know at the end if he's still uh inside. Okay.

SPEAKER_14 53:12

Yeah, I can't not see Joke Orc's last joke. Joke Orc's one of the one of the one of uh one of uh fantasy time's top 50 comedians under 50. I gotta say him.

SPEAKER_12 53:25

He's really good. Australian again. An orc walks into a bar. I love that. He says to the bartender, I'll get a whiskey and ginger root. The bartender says, whiskey and ginger root, that's a classic order, of course, you can have that, but why the big paws? Orc says I was cursed by a sorcerer. He gave me paws instead of hands. They're huge. The orc says, if I find that sorcerer, I will tear him limb from limb.

unknown 54:05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 54:06

Boom bang boom bang. Yeah, like a whole crazy.

SPEAKER_15 54:13

Do you peek back out the door?

SPEAKER_14 54:14

Yep.

SPEAKER_15 54:15

They're gone.

SPEAKER_14 54:16

Damn it! We gotta find them, Cyclone 2 and Herold. Erold, any idea where those gods would have taken him? I'll find them.

SPEAKER_12 54:24

I don't don't don't worry. I know all the passages in this town.

SPEAKER_03 54:29

They have taken him to the prison, the jail, which is not far from here. Cyclone 2.

SPEAKER_14 54:35

Okay, you know. Guess you can go home, Erold. Cyclone 2 knows everything. You had a purpose, you had a robe, but it's been usurped. Cyclone 2, don't go out there. They're gonna mob you again.

SPEAKER_03 54:47

Oh, that's true. That's right.

SPEAKER_14 54:53

That's cute. That's the palace. Let's go. Okay. I'm following him.

SPEAKER_15 54:59

So you're heading towards the heading towards the prison? Yeah. It's crowded, crowded street. Yeah.

SPEAKER_12 55:07

Come on. Oh, we gotta cut through my school. Oh, I hope I don't run into my frickin' coach. He's gonna make make my life a living hell again.

SPEAKER_15 55:17

So they've not only do they run into your coach, they run into the drunk uh Jeremy. What are you doing? Oh, please! What are you doing here?

SPEAKER_14 55:26

Give me a shoe and show it home, little brother.

SPEAKER_17 55:30

What's your brother doing here, man?

SPEAKER_14 55:31

Check it out. I'm doing the fucking fantasy moonwalk. Oh, I pissed myself.

SPEAKER_17 55:37

Jeremy, I smell alcohol on your breath, man.

SPEAKER_14 55:39

Yeah, and you'll smell it on your breath too when I start pissing in his mouth. What the fuck? Smell that?

SPEAKER_11 55:45

Oh my god, weewa. What the hell are you doing? I'm doing a weewah with my PPP. The principal comes out and goes, excuse me. This moment came from.

SPEAKER_10 55:57

You're expelled.

SPEAKER_07 55:59

Oh my god, you can't expel my little brother. He didn't piss me out. Woo!

SPEAKER_12 56:06

Alright, let's keep going. I got a scholarship. Let's keep going. Come on, this way. Oh, just the statue of my stupid dad.

SPEAKER_03 56:15

Press the button on it. Press the button on the statue.

SPEAKER_14 56:18

Oh, I've got to push a button.

SPEAKER_12 56:20

Button on a statue.

SPEAKER_15 56:21

Don't worry about me. I'll get the touchdown.

SPEAKER_06 56:27

So quiet, too. That's like a belly hit. Don't worry about me.

SPEAKER_12 56:32

According to legend. According to legend, that's what he said in the huddle before he scored the touchdown in the big game. The touchdown that basically ruined my life.

SPEAKER_14 56:41

What? Let's cut to that.

SPEAKER_15 56:44

Okay, so 30 years ago in the huddle. Okay.

SPEAKER_10 56:48

Now look. I know I broke my arm, but don't worry about me. I'll get a touch here. Okay. Cut back. Yeah.

SPEAKER_11 56:57

Whoa, that's crazy.

SPEAKER_12 56:59

That's the story anyway. But I haven't been able to live down that legend my entire life. Everyone who looks at me just sees me as a disappointing son of a star, a hero.

SPEAKER_14 57:08

Listen, listen, Harold. I d when I look at you, I don't I don't see a disappointing son of a star. I see a star on the rise. What a star in a bigger sky than just some high school football. The sky of potion surfaces everywhere across the little lands that we've got here. You're gonna be a star, I could tell. Bigger than a joke, bigger than even me. But you haven't even heard one of my jokes. You got more than what needs than jokes. You've got a dumb voice and a stupid face. And that's all that really matters in comedy.

SPEAKER_12 57:42

Wow. I've been spending my entire time on the open mic circuit trying to run away from those aspects of myself. I've been trying deadpan comedy, anything to make people think that I take it to take me seriously. But are you saying I should lean into my silliness?

SPEAKER_14 57:58

Yeah, I'm saying that's exactly what you should do. You think I'm flashing my dick because it's beautiful. No, it's because I get laughs. Wow.

SPEAKER_12 58:07

That's awesome.

SPEAKER_14 58:09

Do what works and drive it into the ground until everybody hates you. That was what I did, and then I turned to a life of crime and pervertery.

SPEAKER_12 58:16

I do have this bit where it's stupid.

SPEAKER_14 58:20

Come on. Do it to me. Come on. Do it right here in front of your dead statue. It'll be a cathar. Oh my god, it's just Scoo Crush, the gazelle.

unknown 58:30

Wait, what?

SPEAKER_13 58:32

Oh, you're cycling. I thought you were a different character. No, they're all beavers. They're all beavers. Her name's Gazelle. Oh no, I can't do it.

SPEAKER_01 58:40

You're another one. Gazelle's down the hall. Hey, hey, hey, Harold. What's going on? I haven't seen you in first period. Harold?

SPEAKER_12 58:51

What do you think? You look like you're working up to something. I can't clue it. I can't clue it. Not in front of Gazelle. Harold, come on.

SPEAKER_03 58:56

Comedy.

SPEAKER_14 58:57

Come on.

SPEAKER_03 58:58

Come on.

SPEAKER_14 59:00

He's from a different galaxy or whatever.

SPEAKER_03 59:02

A different dimension and a different planet. And I'm just poking my head through.

SPEAKER_14 59:11

That's cute.

SPEAKER_03 59:12

Do it.

SPEAKER_10 59:13

What's going on? Should I stay or leave?

SPEAKER_12 59:15

Okay, look at this apple. Look at me when I eat this apple.

SPEAKER_04 59:24

That's crazy.

SPEAKER_12 59:29

I guess I'm not getting scurvy today. Gone.

SPEAKER_06 59:33

Oh, the gold!

SPEAKER_12 59:34

That's a great catchphrase.

SPEAKER_03 59:35

That's almost as good as Joke Orks, boom bang, boom, bang.

SPEAKER_10 59:39

Well, I gotta get I've I have study block, so I gotta go. That's pretty funny.

SPEAKER_12 59:43

I humiliated myself. That's why there was no setup, there was no punchline, I just ate an apple.

SPEAKER_03 59:47

You ate the whole core, too.

SPEAKER_14 59:49

Yeah, that was amazing, but maybe there's something that should workshop it. That was the core. Let's workshop it. Let's workshop it. Let's workshop it.

SPEAKER_03 59:57

It's funny that you go num num nom nom you eat the whole thing. You eat the core and the s and the stem, so maybe there's something there.

SPEAKER_14 1:00:03

Maybe you maybe you maybe you cough out a little apple tree or something. Like a madly crick. I mean a bit.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:11

Or maybe you say, um I eat the whole apple. What does that mean? I I don't I'm not a comedian.

SPEAKER_14 1:00:20

You could say, oh, that was easy. I wonder why people call me hardcore.

SPEAKER_12 1:00:25

Oh, that's good. Oh, that's really good. What if I said something like, what if I said something like, My dad's a doctor? Nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom. That oughta keep him away.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:37

That's oh, that's really good.

SPEAKER_14 1:00:39

Yeah, that's really good. Because it implies something like your dad maybe touches you or something. Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 1:00:43

Okay, that's a remarkable joke.

SPEAKER_15 1:00:46

A rush of people walks by and you hear from the mob of people, hang him. They're gonna hang him. They're gonna hang him.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:51

He's a murderer. They caught him and they're a murderer. They're gonna hang him.

SPEAKER_15 1:00:55

Quick hanging him.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:56

They found him with a net of bodies.

SPEAKER_15 1:00:57

They're gonna hang him.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:58

They're gonna hang him, murder.

SPEAKER_15 1:00:59

There hasn't been a hanging in Kajunko villain so long.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:01

They're gonna hang him.

SPEAKER_15 1:01:03

I wonder what they're talking about. Anyway, let's get to the prison. Yeah, okay, great. You go to the prison, you go to the prison, you get there, there's a big crowd assembled, and I think we're gonna have to end it on this cliffhanger, okay? Because we're gonna see what you guys do next week. We're gonna see how you how you deal with this. Because on the gallows, with a noose around his neck, hands tied behind his little back, is Will Pumpkin. Oh my god. And an executioner is about to unravel a scroll and read out his crimes. They found the bodies, they found him, they've they connected him to the dead guard of the city gates, and it in a in a classic Choncoville quick uh trial and uh sentencing, they're gonna hang him.

SPEAKER_14 1:01:47

Maybe they can maybe the executioner with like the bag over his head is like can't get the scroll open because he's like trying to lick his fingers through the bag, and he's like, Yeah, so yeah, we'll start with that.

SPEAKER_15 1:01:55

He's having trouble licking his fingers to open the scroll. I'll remember that. Mark L. Did you have something? Or Mark C? Okay.

SPEAKER_12 1:02:02

Well, I was just gonna say uh because Harold the little beaver was leading them to the prison through a secret path, but it appears they just landed right in front of the prison in the crowd.

SPEAKER_15 1:02:14

Yeah. Well, I I I was under the impression you were still kind of hanging around the high school when that well, all this was happening. We saw Gazelle and the stuff. He was on his way to maybe a secret uh uh path to the prison. But yeah, you now you're just out front. You're just out front, got distracted with the jokes. And now we'll see if Will Pumpkin will live or die, if you'll be able, because they've got the bodies, I think, probably in the prison somewhere. That was my question. Where are they where they're gonna be? The bodies are all being hung too. The bodies are inside the prison. I'll I'll be a benevolent DM and let you know they're they're in the evidence locker. So they're in the evidence locker. You have to get the bodies and you have to free Will Pumpkin, and that is the Cliffhanger. We'll end this episode 13 of the Nightmare Party. We got to see more of the Beavers uh life. We got to see a Beaver High School, which is really cool. We got a new character who's along for the ride right now, Sticlone, then became Cyclone 2, who lives inside Ryan Beale's hand. We got to dabble in more stand-up comedy, which is nice. Uh I love I love the Joe Cork. I love the Joe Cork. Uh and we saw a lot, and you know, there was a bit more death, a bit more uh mayhem, some more fighting, and some uh attempt at um uh diplomacy as well. And and also people might think you're a god, Cyclone, too. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:03:27

Nice.

SPEAKER_15 1:03:28

A lot to deal with, a lot on our plate. That's the magic of DD. Thanks for listening. This has been Nightmare Party.