Nightmare Party - The Hanging of Will Pumpkin

Will Pumpkin faces execution for all his murders. Will Ryan Biel (the Dwarf), Cyclone 2 and a beaver be able to save him? 

Transcript

SPEAKER_11 0:14

Welcome back to another fancy fun edition episode session of the Nightmare Party. If you're just joining us, that's wild because so much has happened. Um, but just to catch you up on what this even is, my name's Ryan Beale. I finally convinced some of my very funny comedian friends to play a version of D with me. Uh we play kind of DD light here. There's not all the stats or all the rules, you know, it's more about imagination storytelling. We do roll dice, but it's just a D20. And uh it's a pretty sort of simplistic uh layout and uh consequence um tree for those roles. Uh I have with me Mark C, Mark L, and Kevin L. I don't I think it's two, three hard resets. We've done three different campaigns. We're on the third version of uh of a uh of a of a new campaign, and um things are getting really crazy. Uh does anyone want to sort of hit up the listeners with what happened last week or uh uh fun things that you discovered or uh things you hope for for this week?

SPEAKER_20 1:19

Well, two weeks ago my character Chain was killed. That's right. That's right.

SPEAKER_11 1:23

And that's very that in DD, your characters can die forever.

SPEAKER_20 1:27

They can die. Usually it's not by one of your fellow players, usually it's from uh from the DM controlled uh NPC, but in this case, Mark Little's character, Will Pumpkin, killed my character, Chain. Yeah after he was provoked, I would say, quite a bit of a few. It was a violent violent episode.

SPEAKER_11 1:46

There was a lot of like just everyone's wept up into a violent frenzy.

SPEAKER_20 1:50

So then I started playing a character called Cyclone 2, formerly known as Cyclone or anyway. That character came out of Kevin's hand. Kevin's character's hand, I'm sorry.

SPEAKER_26 2:00

Yeah, because I touched some glowing fungus. Yeah.

SPEAKER_20 2:04

This character, Cyclone 2, claimed that they could bring characters back to life. Uh so we were on our way to find the body of Chain and the other bodies.

SPEAKER_11 2:14

Two eel brothers and a and a turtle named Mr. Shell, I believe. Or maybe Mr. Turtle or Mr. Tortoise. We've called him a lot of things. He was a turtle guy with a little hat that tried to swim away and you killed him.

SPEAKER_20 2:26

And in this, as we got to as we got to uh the town, what's the city we're in called? Choncoville. Choncoville. Will Pumpkin got into some trouble. Choncoville.

SPEAKER_11 2:36

Well, yes, because Will Pumpkin's been dragging a uh kind of a wet, bloody net of bodies around in hopes of trying to reanimate them, but he's got like three bodies. Yeah. Yeah. So he was eventually found out.

SPEAKER_26 2:48

And I think he, yeah, he tried to get in through the gates and then pulverized the guard and then started killing everybody in the line behind him.

SPEAKER_11 2:55

Oh, that's right. We'll say Will Pumpkin's had it coming as far as law enforcement is concerned. Like he just keeps attacking people.

SPEAKER_25 3:04

We went from being the most like wet blanket, like sad, the couldn't do anything guy to like this mass murderer that can't stop.

SPEAKER_20 3:11

I mean, it's a true character arc, you know.

SPEAKER_11 3:13

It's really good. There's been a sincere change. Mark L. You play Will Pumpkin. Anything you want to say about the the character we know and love is Will Pumpkin? Pig Thief.

SPEAKER_08 3:22

Well, I hope I don't I hope I don't get hanged today.

SPEAKER_11 3:25

Thank you for using the appropriate. It's hanged. It's not hung. You don't get hung. Yeah, yeah. So that this is how I want to start. It's a very exciting start. Okay, we also did a lot with the Beaver family, who was another witness to the crimes. We danced around the Beaver family. I'm sure you guys will push the Ouija board back towards the Beaver family at any time. Uh but we have one Beaver, one member of the Beaver family currently with the group, Little Harold, comedy enthusiast, uh, who also has a heart of gold, younger brother uh, to Jeremy and Mr. Beaver. Anyways, if you have any questions about the Beaver family, just go back to episode 13 uh and uh episode 12 and learn all about them. Uh so we'll see what happens. But I want to start classic, exciting start. One of our characters has a noose around his neck. The uh executioner was trying to, remember he couldn't lick his fingers to unravel the scroll. Right. So I'm gonna say he went under his uh executioner hood and licked his fingers. So he now can unravel the scroll. He's gonna read the scroll.

SPEAKER_26 4:26

Roll for that.

SPEAKER_11 4:27

You know what, Kevin?

SPEAKER_26 4:28

Roll for opening his hood, roll for licking. Okay, I will get a D20 up here. Roll for that, you'll roll that. Yeah, you're part of this too.

SPEAKER_11 4:35

Okay, I rolled an eight. He has he has trouble. So, okay, so okay. So he does have continued have trouble. So I'm gonna I'm gonna cut to I'm gonna cut back to the group, the the party in the crowd, so he hasn't read the scroll yet. So that's even more time for you guys to figure out what to do to save Will Pumpkin as the executioner's trying to lick his fingers.

SPEAKER_20 4:54

He seems to have trouble getting his hand under his hood.

SPEAKER_03 4:58

This is our chits. We gotta we gotta do what we can to save Pumpkin, I think. Why? I mean he's a pink. I I I mean, that's a good question. Cyclone, too. He's a he's a murderer, he killed uh my friend, and he killed a couple of ill guys, and it looks like he killed a bunch more people. He's having a real day.

SPEAKER_24 5:17

Yeah, I'd say, yeah, he is having a day.

SPEAKER_11 5:19

Okay, I'm rolling again to see if I can unrel the scroll. Oh shit. Nope, nine. Still can't. Harold, what do you think?

SPEAKER_22 5:26

It's like tenor above.

SPEAKER_11 5:29

It's a really tight hood.

SPEAKER_22 5:32

He guys. Yeah, what is Harold?

SPEAKER_04 5:37

What's that? Big bag of big net of bodies. Yeah. I know. It's big net. Do I know about this? Those are the guys. That's who you're trying to say.

SPEAKER_20 5:50

Do you know? That's a good question, man. Yeah.

SPEAKER_11 5:52

I think you probably might have you had time to tell him. I let's just say you know that the chain is in there.

SPEAKER_26 5:58

We went and visited the dad, and the dad was like, Yeah, these are the guys who tried to who killed people or something like that, right? In front of the kids, and the kids were scared, and then Cyclone 2 burned them with his glowing powers.

SPEAKER_10 6:07

Oh, yeah. That's really good as colour. We can save these guys.

SPEAKER_20 6:11

Yes.

SPEAKER_03 6:11

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, Cyclone, you you you can bring him back to life.

SPEAKER_20 6:15

I can reanimate. It does take a couple of steps with dice rolls, but I can do it.

SPEAKER_26 6:21

And wait, uh pause.

SPEAKER_11 6:22

Ryan, are the bodies here like on the deck because before I think they were an evidence locker inside the prison complex or whatever, the jailhouse or the you know the structure bar. Okay, never mind, guys. Maybe you saw through a window.

SPEAKER_04 6:34

I didn't see it.

SPEAKER_20 6:36

Yes?

SPEAKER_04 6:36

Guys. Guys, there's a big net through a window. Oh, I see.

SPEAKER_20 6:40

And it's full of bodies.

SPEAKER_04 6:42

Oh, that's it. There's Jane. I can see his face.

SPEAKER_20 6:44

Look, the executioner's attempting to lick his fingers at the end.

SPEAKER_11 6:48

Thank you for that, Mark. Yes, let's see if he does it. Nope, another nine. So he's I'm just the diaper crowning.

SPEAKER_20 6:59

Like sports event.

SPEAKER_11 7:00

Yeah, because they're crowd on the phone. They're kind of bloodless. You know, they're they're it's it's been a while since there's been a hanging, so they have been throwing I want to see a team crowd skipping.

SPEAKER_06 7:09

Come on.

SPEAKER_03 7:10

Show us the hanging. I want to pick it up. Pull his pants down first. I want to see a pantsless hanging.

SPEAKER_12 7:16

I've had a hard time. This on my bingo card. I liked it better when they I took work off for the viscerated them.

SPEAKER_02 7:24

Ladies and gentlemen of Chonkoville, I'm trying. This is a new hood. It's tighter than my old hood. I'm having a hard time getting my hands up under it to lick to open the scrolls. Just take off the hood. I can't. It'll reveal myself to you. You'll know who I am. We all know it's you, Jimmy! We all know it's you, Jimmy. No, you don't. Jimmy. No. I can't. It's a symbol of my office.

SPEAKER_09 7:50

I'd know that voice anywhere. And you've got Jimmy's posture in Jimmy.

SPEAKER_25 7:54

You tell a bunch of Jimmy's jokes from when we go to the joke.

SPEAKER_02 7:58

I wish. What do you mean? Just because I said it's hard to Jimmy open this. Exactly.

SPEAKER_20 8:05

And then they introduced you as executioner Jimmy. Look.

SPEAKER_18 8:10

And you have that tattoo on your belly. It says I'm with Jimmy with an arrow pointing up.

SPEAKER_22 8:14

See, everything's tight now. The shirt, the head. It's just I got a new uniform. Well, you gotta return it. It's not a good fit. Can someone open the scroll for me then?

SPEAKER_20 8:24

I'll open the scroll.

SPEAKER_06 8:26

Oh yeah, Licky Larry will do it.

SPEAKER_22 8:28

My name's Licky Larry. I'm all tongues and fingers. I'm gonna make you roll to see how it goes. Please roll under 10. Licky Larry gives it a roll. Ten and above. Licky Larry rolls a eight.

SPEAKER_25 8:39

Oh yes. So even Lick Larry's a few.

SPEAKER_22 8:42

So describe how you describe how you could possibly not.

SPEAKER_20 8:45

So Licky Larry's really got long, long, thin fingers and a big tongue. And he's like starts licking his fingers. Is Licky Larry possibly because he's a lot of river folk? Is he like a river animal of sorts? Yeah, he's a he's an otter. Oh, cute. I love it. Yeah, he's an otter, so he like can't and he fumbles the scroll, and the scroll like kind of just falls into a wet puddle on the on the uh Larry, what the hell are you doing up there?

SPEAKER_09 9:10

So easy.

SPEAKER_20 9:13

I feel like that's that's hubris. I feel like I did this to myself. You flew too close to the sun. I did.

SPEAKER_11 9:20

I really did.

SPEAKER_18 9:21

Your tongue dried up.

SPEAKER_11 9:22

And so the audience starts throwing vegetables and rotten things at uh Licky Larry. They go, boo!

SPEAKER_06 9:28

There's some vegetables and some rotten things.

SPEAKER_20 9:30

I'll just pull the lever and hang him. I'll just pull the lever and hang. We don't read the scroll.

SPEAKER_02 9:34

I have to read his crimes and his punishment, and I have to do this officially, okay?

SPEAKER_20 9:40

Can I try to pick it up and unroll it again?

SPEAKER_11 9:43

Yeah, Licky Larry wants to try again. Yeah. Okay, this this is.

SPEAKER_20 9:46

If you don't do it again a second time.

SPEAKER_08 9:48

You've soaked it, Larry. You've sink it.

SPEAKER_20 9:52

Can he even read it?

SPEAKER_22 9:54

You've soaked it. What's the role have to be, right? It's a ten. I'm just looking for a ten and above.

SPEAKER_20 9:59

Okay, still, still, okay, great.

SPEAKER_11 10:00

Just a ten. Here we go.

SPEAKER_20 10:01

Here we go.

SPEAKER_11 10:02

Ten! Okay, yes. Licky Larry finally unravels the scroll. Okay. This means Licky Larry, if you'd like to, you can read the scroll. Okay. I have something written out here, but you, your character, can read the scroll because you were the one that actually unfurled it. Do you want to do that?

SPEAKER_20 10:18

Yeah, you don't want to read what you've written?

SPEAKER_11 10:20

I but I want to give you the opportunity because you uh took the sort of you know, you had uh the confidence to go and do this role, so you gonna read it?

SPEAKER_20 10:30

I took the wet bull by the horns. Are you able to see through your hood to read this?

SPEAKER_02 10:35

I can barely see.

SPEAKER_20 10:36

It's so tight. I'll read it. People of Choncoville, welcome. First, some business. In the event of an emergency, please orderly go through these gates to your left and to your right. Please orderly go through. That's why I'm just reading it. I'm reading what's written. Uh Jimmy, learned a right.

SPEAKER_02 11:03

I didn't write it. It comes it comes it comes from the the magistrate. You sent it down to me, and I just Okay, well then that's a my bad.

SPEAKER_08 11:14

Sorry. Take it easy, Jimmy. Sorry. Oh crap, I insulted the magistrate. Oh crap, I insulted the magistrate. You insulted me. Here comes the magistrate.

SPEAKER_16 11:26

Bum, bum, bum, bum, bum. It's me, the magistrate.

SPEAKER_08 11:33

I'll just go.

SPEAKER_16 11:34

You insulted me.

SPEAKER_08 11:37

I'm so sorry, Your Honor. I did not mean for that to come out how it came out.

SPEAKER_16 11:43

Okay. That's a sincere apology. Back to my magistrate room. Very simple.

SPEAKER_09 11:52

Please. I thought the magistrate was gonna win.

SPEAKER_20 11:55

I don't apologize sincerely. He will. He will. Shall I continue reading? Yes, please.

SPEAKER_06 12:01

Start again. I forget the first part.

SPEAKER_20 12:03

Start again. Okay, people of Choncoville. First, a little housekeeping before we get started. Different. Welcome.

SPEAKER_14 12:13

Different.

SPEAKER_20 12:14

You're paraphrasing now, just read it. In case of an emergency, please orderly leave through the South Gates. Yeah, okay.

SPEAKER_08 12:22

It just doesn't get easier to hear. Oh, what have I done?

SPEAKER_16 12:27

Boom, boom. You insulted me in my writing.

SPEAKER_08 12:34

Your Majesty, Your Honor. I I'm so sorry. I can't apologize enough. Oh, it's harder to say the second time. You did it again!

SPEAKER_16 12:45

You insulted me in your apology! Now it's time I whip your Oh yeah, he's gonna whip your ass.

SPEAKER_08 12:57

Oh, hey. Are you sorry now? I try my best! So I'm very sorry, you're thank you.

SPEAKER_24 13:08

And now back to my magistrate room. Bingbo.

SPEAKER_02 13:13

Okay, just start again. I have to start again. Just start again. We have to get through it all. And everyone, just you're prepared now? Just let them get through the first part. I know it's kind of a rough year. People of Toncoville, welcome.

SPEAKER_08 13:31

Oh, you just insulted the magistrate. No, I didn't know.

SPEAKER_16 13:36

Insults the magistrate! Jimmy!

SPEAKER_19 13:39

I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

SPEAKER_16 13:41

I mean executioner.

SPEAKER_24 13:43

Just trying to quell the crowd. Quell the crowd. Well, try not throw try not to throw me under the cot next time.

SPEAKER_02 13:51

You know who really fucking up here is Licky Larry. Licky Larry. He's reading your words, and he's he's he's not giving them the the the respect he deserve.

SPEAKER_20 14:02

I love a tattletale. Licky Larry, you're now in trouble. Magistrate, I apologize sincerely. I know the rules. Insult the magistrate once, it's fine. It's fine. If you say sorry, insult him twice. Face the cane of the Wari. Insult him three times, and that is when you lose. And you will eat the hangman's news.

SPEAKER_03 14:25

That's right. You have to eat the hangman's news like a spaschetti.

SPEAKER_21 14:29

No, I didn't mean two hangings.

SPEAKER_11 14:33

We got two hangings.

SPEAKER_21 14:34

You're hanging licky lick. Alright, guys. I think did not get. Yeah.

SPEAKER_11 14:40

Come back to the next one. I think we can sneak in. They are thoroughly pre-alicable. Big argument going on. They are thoroughly pre-on. Tell me exactly what you think your plan might be to try to get Will Pumpkin out of there. There is no problem.

SPEAKER_20 14:50

No, we're trying to get to the bodies, I thought. Or are we trying to get Well, whatever you want to do?

SPEAKER_11 14:53

You got the bodies, you got Will Pumpkin.

SPEAKER_03 14:55

We could try and reanimate the uh the the bodies and see if that freaks everyone out. Because remember when you reanimated that person in the square and they everyone went nuts and bobbed you? What if you reanimate the bodies and then everyone goes nuts and when then we get Will Pumpkin out of the noose and run away? Guys, let's take it one step at a time. We gotta bust into this police station.

SPEAKER_20 15:15

Can you fit through this window?

SPEAKER_03 15:17

It's a little voice.

SPEAKER_24 15:19

Yes.

SPEAKER_20 15:19

Okay, great.

SPEAKER_24 15:20

Maybe he could chew through the bars.

SPEAKER_20 15:22

Why don't you just shimmy in there? I don't need to go. Okay, just yeah, get in there and then open the door for us.

SPEAKER_11 15:29

Okay, so you you push, you push Harold through the window and open the door. That's fine. Great.

SPEAKER_03 15:34

Oh, okay. Right now we go in.

SPEAKER_11 15:36

Here's the bodies. How many bodies are there, Ryan?

SPEAKER_20 15:38

Four? Two eels, a turtle, and chain. Yeah. And four. Shall I reanimate all of them with my reanimation powers?

SPEAKER_03 15:46

Start with the turtle, just in case it goes wrong. Good idea. Then go to the eel guys, and then finally, a beautiful chain. That's the climax.

SPEAKER_20 15:54

I feel like we might get interrupted before we get to chain. No, no, no, do it like this. I'll do it like this. Okay, so I'm gonna reanimate the turtle.

SPEAKER_04 16:03

Don't think like that. You gotta be positive. You gotta be optimistic. The dam is half full.

SPEAKER_02 16:08

Yes, Harold. Harold. The dam is half full. Sounds like it's a bad thing. I'm a beaver.

SPEAKER_20 16:15

Yeah. The dam is half full and we're drowning. So that's pessimistic, okay. I understand. So you're gonna start.

SPEAKER_03 16:24

No, no, it is still optimistic because it's half full, not half empty.

SPEAKER_20 16:27

Mm-hmm.

unknown 16:29

I think.

SPEAKER_05 16:29

And in the background, we hear bing bong, bing, bing, bong. Oh, is that me again?

SPEAKER_11 16:36

So I think they're still the magistrate hasn't come back into his hands again. Okay. They're still figuring it out. They might be hanging Licky Larry. Will Pumpkin hasn't been hanged yet. So yeah, you're gonna start with the turtle. Yes, definitely.

SPEAKER_20 16:48

And it's gonna be pretty hard. Okay. Okay, so like and can it get easier as I as I go? As I practice? Because you think so you're positing that if you Well this he Kevin posited I start with the turtle in case it goes wrong. Yeah. And then I have the two Wheel brothers to get through, and then finally I'll I'll have enough like juice in my system to get through. Sure.

SPEAKER_11 17:08

It'll get easier as it goes. It'll get easier as it goes. Now there will be a level of like how they come back. Right. So they'll come back either perfect, just how they were, or like kind of like it's like a range from zombie to perfect. Okay. You know? Okay. So you're starting with Mr. Shell. And Mr. Shell was just a a well-meaning turtle guy. I think he had a hat. And did Will kill him? Yep.

SPEAKER_26 17:32

He had a top hat.

SPEAKER_11 17:33

Yeah, well, Will was I think it was it was a lot of you. Like didn't it?

SPEAKER_26 17:37

I think Will Pumpkin killed him because he was because he was witnessing the moment. I went after the beaver, but I didn't kill the beaver.

SPEAKER_20 17:44

Okay, great. Okay. So I'll just roll and you'll tell me what happened. Okay, here we go. Nine. Yeah, it doesn't it doesn't bring him back to life. Oh, he doesn't it doesn't work at all. It doesn't work. Okay. Okay.

SPEAKER_04 18:00

So in fact, in fact, it doesn't even bring him back as a fucked up little fuck.

SPEAKER_02 18:06

He just kind of shrivels up even more.

SPEAKER_20 18:09

He goes, Oh, I did it backwards. I had it upside down. I'm sorry. Cyclone too! It's a good thing I'm practicing on Mr. Turtle. You can practice on Mr. Turtle again. Let me see if I can practice on him again. It because I did it backwards, it's gonna be it might be weird, but here we go. I'm gonna try one more time. 18.

SPEAKER_11 18:30

Okay, yeah. But because you shriveled him up first, he's just like a zombie. Did you play Mr. Turtle? I think so. We barely heard from him. I I can't remember what he sounded like. He's very moral. I think he was just I'm just trying to do my thing, maybe like a little bit.

SPEAKER_10 18:50

Away with you, Mr.

SPEAKER_20 18:50

Turtle.

SPEAKER_10 18:51

You are now alive. So you send him away. Away. So you push him out the door? Yeah. You are fine now.

SPEAKER_11 18:59

I want to where does Mr. Turtle go? I want to follow him. He walks into the crowd and like he's like kind of like pushing people out of the way.

SPEAKER_02 19:10

Excuse me. What the hell is this? What is going on? It's Mr. Turtle Shrivel.

SPEAKER_11 19:17

Hey, look at this. It's a turtle guy. And he lunge he lunges on someone.

SPEAKER_20 19:25

Get him off me.

SPEAKER_03 19:27

What happens?

SPEAKER_11 19:29

So who does he lunge on? I know some NPCs. He's a turtle, right? Adding to the confusion. He's adding to the confusion of what's going on. So like, oh my god, what the fuck's going on?

SPEAKER_20 19:43

You should be mad at him now and hang him and not me.

SPEAKER_25 19:47

I'm gonna hang you both.

SPEAKER_09 19:48

Ruining my hanging, Mr. Turtle. You can't hang everyone in town, Mr. Magistrate. That's way too many. I'll take that's constructive feedback, actually.

SPEAKER_24 19:57

I'll take that on the chin. Alright, I'll let Mr. Turtle go, but no more lunching, Mr. Turtle. But Licky Larry definitely getting hanged.

SPEAKER_11 20:06

So Jimmy kind of like grabs Mr. Turtle off of Licky Larry. He's like, he's tied up. How dare you? That's such a cheap shot. He pushes him to uh and he kind of goes towards the comedy club like Is he gonna do some stand-up? We'll check in with him later. He like looks like he's going into the bar. So back to the bodies.

SPEAKER_05 20:23

Oh yeah. Okay.

SPEAKER_20 20:25

Come on now. Next up. Chalk that one up as um win and lose. So that's even. All right, now for Eel Brother number one.

SPEAKER_12 20:39

Three. Yeah.

SPEAKER_11 20:41

He's just he's so shriveled up, he's in you can never you can't use him anymore. Oh, I fucked that one up real bad. He's done. He's like shriveled into like almost a tiny ball.

SPEAKER_20 20:53

I did it's hard. If you knew how to do it, you would understand how hard it is. Okay. Let's try it again. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_04 21:02

I left my I left school for the day for you guys.

SPEAKER_20 21:05

I ran away from the brother. Reanimating dead people.

SPEAKER_03 21:09

Don't worry, Harold. If he doesn't do this, right, I'm putting him back in the end.

SPEAKER_20 21:13

Oh, okay. Now for Eel Brother 2. Yeah, good. Nine.

SPEAKER_22 21:24

Okay, so just like when he shrivels up again. But is it not getting easier?

SPEAKER_11 21:29

No, well, because you haven't succeeded yet. Like you would really succeed if you get it. Yeah, I could do it. Yeah, so he so if you get him. No, I'm gonna do this one one more time and then I'll do two. I mean, this is the gamble rank is if you do this one right, you get like an 18 on this guy. Yeah. And then you might be going back to a low roll.

SPEAKER_20 21:49

So really do I play do I play proper blackjack or not? Yeah. Right. Um okay, I think I do.

SPEAKER_22 21:56

I'm gonna roll, I'm gonna do the eel.

SPEAKER_11 21:58

Okay.

SPEAKER_22 21:58

So you're gonna still on the eel.

SPEAKER_11 22:04

That's good though. You guys are getting rid of all my bad roles. They're dead forever. Even though they're the coolest NPCs we've ever had on the show.

SPEAKER_20 22:13

They're dead forever. I'm getting rid of my bad roles. Okay, now. Good role. Here we go. This is huge. Here we go. Chain, I will bring you back. For some reason, I feel emotionally attached to this one. I don't know why. Here we go. Here's the role.

SPEAKER_09 22:30

Because it came from the hand of his body.

SPEAKER_11 22:33

What? Oh my god. Okay, so we've been playing this.

unknown 22:39

God damn it.

SPEAKER_11 22:40

He's shriveled. He's not dead forever yet, but he'll definitely not come back anywhere near perfect.

SPEAKER_20 22:47

Okay. Should I just not do it? I should probably just not do it. You don't want to see your friends.

SPEAKER_11 22:50

I mean, it's either not perfect or basically shriveled forever.

SPEAKER_20 22:53

So it's like Okay, I'll give it another roll. Here's another try. Here we go. Here comes the last possible roll for 11. Okay, yeah.

SPEAKER_11 23:02

So it's even worse than Mr. Turtle, though. Just so you know. Mr.

SPEAKER_15 23:08

Turtle was at least going like puking. That's not what he's like.

SPEAKER_10 23:21

That's not what he's supposed to do. He's always puking. Oh god, chain.

SPEAKER_11 23:32

More puking.

SPEAKER_25 23:35

I I I I gotta I'm gonna mercy kill him. You're gonna turn it so awful.

SPEAKER_11 23:43

Here's the thing. I get one emerald. I guess if you kill him again and then try to re-like it's kind of like you can keep going to try to bring chain back. Kill him.

SPEAKER_24 23:53

Keep killing him and try to bring back.

SPEAKER_11 23:54

I can try again. Kill him.

SPEAKER_24 23:55

Oh god. Do I have a weapon? I don't care. Kill me.

SPEAKER_11 23:58

Kill me. More puking, please.

SPEAKER_26 24:00

Okay, I grab I grab one of the chains in the in the in the uh in the in the uh in the jail here. And I'm like, a little too poetic, but I wrap it around the side.

SPEAKER_22 24:07

Oh nice, you kill him with a chain. Nice, dude. Oh, it actually stopped me from puking. Give me a roll.

SPEAKER_26 24:12

Oh shit. Okay, hold on. Uh one second here. I'd make that 20.

SPEAKER_11 24:20

Oh no.

unknown 24:21

Five.

SPEAKER_11 24:22

Yeah, so it doesn't work. So there's too much puke. The chain kind of falls off of him, and you fall down. And you're both kind of like sprawled around in the puke.

SPEAKER_22 24:35

He runs to the comedy club. Yeah, so now he's interrupting the hanging.

SPEAKER_19 24:38

Run outside. Who's that?

SPEAKER_11 24:44

Okay, well, let's just we got Licky Larry and this Will Pumpkin guy, and I just need to I need a scroll magistrate about Licky Larry, and then I need to read Will Pumpkin's scroll. And wait, who's this?

SPEAKER_20 24:57

Will Pumpkin. He starts puking on Will Pumpkin. Maybe it loosens the noose.

SPEAKER_22 25:04

So you're thinking that his puking on Will Pumpkin loosens the noose? I mean, maybe. It doesn't really matter because the noose is like I guess it's puke.

SPEAKER_26 25:16

I don't know.

SPEAKER_11 25:17

Okay, well let's see. Like, let's see if let's uh Will Pumpkin. So yeah, your loose, your noose has is like sort of lubricated now. Do you try anything, Will Pumpkin?

SPEAKER_03 25:30

Yes!

SPEAKER_08 25:31

He's talking directly to the idea. I try to wriggle out of it. Because his hands are dry, presumably.

SPEAKER_26 25:39

Alright.

SPEAKER_08 25:41

Do I wriggle? You wriggle.

SPEAKER_11 25:43

I roll for a wriggle. I rolled a four.

SPEAKER_17 25:48

This is the lowest rolling of chain!

SPEAKER_26 25:55

I'm dying! Uh and then uh Brian Bale finally gets to his feet and comes running out uh to like see what's going on and say, oh crap. And every I think it's chaos, right? Like everything's kind of going.

SPEAKER_11 26:07

Everyone's running everywhere. Everyone's like uh scared. There's like this guy with puke. Uh uh uh Jeremy's like trying to like help Will Pumpkin because he's like, You can't die yet, we have to do the scroll. That's my whole thing.

SPEAKER_05 26:20

So like, and then Licky Larry's screaming, like, you can't kill me, you can't kill me, you can't kill me.

SPEAKER_11 26:27

And then a big apparition uh dimension door opens, and a really jacked wizard comes out and goes, Hey, remember me. It's Quilthnar.

SPEAKER_21 26:40

Quiltnar!

SPEAKER_02 26:43

If you can get your friend out of there and get into this fucking uh portal, I'll save all of you right now. Which one of us are you talking to? I'm kind of talking to you. Oh, me, you and you.

SPEAKER_24 26:56

Oh, the old gang!

SPEAKER_02 26:58

All right, the other gang.

SPEAKER_24 27:00

Man.

SPEAKER_02 27:00

Yes, you will, Pumpkin, you sons of bitches. I'm mad at you. Okay.

SPEAKER_03 27:06

You're gonna kill us?

SPEAKER_02 27:07

Stuff. Oh fuck.

SPEAKER_03 27:09

That's his only shot, I think. Yeah. I don't know. Okay.

SPEAKER_00 27:15

Save me, Ryan Pink.

SPEAKER_03 27:18

Please. You're a real troublemaker. But troublemaker? You're a real troublemaker, but I gotta save you. We're all pals.

SPEAKER_08 27:26

This guy talks like the frickin' magistrate.

SPEAKER_25 27:30

Like this. You're gonna get hanged now. I don't sound like that guy.

SPEAKER_08 27:34

Okay, that's good. That's there's only two nooses. What am I gonna take?

SPEAKER_25 27:38

That guy's gonna- I actually absolve Will Pumpkin to use this news for this other guy.

SPEAKER_11 27:43

So you absolve Will Pumpkin. Okay, that's great. That's beautiful. Will Pumpkin's alive. All right, fine. Takes the noose off Will Pumpkin. So he's like, and and Quilthred's like, come on. Come in.

SPEAKER_03 27:54

I mean, it seems like he's so teted up now.

SPEAKER_20 27:57

Come on. I trust him. I'm just kind of along for the ride because I'm like zombie puke guy.

SPEAKER_03 28:05

Alright, so we all grabbed everyone and I turn around to Harold, and then we go, Goodbye, little guy. Best of luck on the stages. I know you're gonna crush it. And guess what? Here's a little pouch of itching powder for you. A classic prank.

SPEAKER_04 28:20

Whoops, I dropped it. Oh Harold, that's pretty funny.

SPEAKER_20 28:25

You should do that in front of Gazelle. Uh Cyclone 2 runs up to uh uh Ryan Beale's hand and goes inside.

SPEAKER_03 28:31

Oh. I'm coming. Shit! He went in the wrong hand! Where did he go?

SPEAKER_10 28:39

Where did he go? Okay, good.

SPEAKER_00 28:43

Come on, let's go in the portal. I don't want to be here anymore.

SPEAKER_20 28:48

Yeah, and followed by Chain, who was just doing what he's told.

unknown 28:56

And you hear nothing.

SPEAKER_19 28:59

You're in a big black void. It's just the three of you. You hear me puking.

SPEAKER_03 29:09

Where's that even going in here?

SPEAKER_00 29:15

Oh really?

SPEAKER_03 29:16

God should be completely empty by now. What have a meal box?

unknown 29:22

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 29:22

Alright. Well, where the hell are we? Quilfnar! Quilfnar! Quilfnar.

SPEAKER_20 29:28

There's nothing there. Oh, did we just find ourselves in some sort of eternal prison?

SPEAKER_03 29:34

I guess this is a hard restart. Oh man. It can't have led us to a hard restart. Oh damn it. I've just found my curve.

SPEAKER_20 29:45

Everyone, reach out and grab hands. Let's see where we are. Sorry, my hand might fill out. Well, chain's getting better. I'm getting I've I've puked out a lot of the bad stuff.

SPEAKER_03 29:56

He's improving.

SPEAKER_20 29:57

I'm improving as time goes by. I'm feeling myself again. Oh Will Pumpkin, I'm proud of you, mate. You really showed your courage and killed so many innocents.

SPEAKER_11 30:09

And just to let you know, like as you're talking, you know, like when you're in like a sound, like a sound booth where you r might record a cartoon or something, you know, like just but there's no echo. There's no bounce of this. It's like everything you say is just like sucked into the black void. It's just like there's nothing.

SPEAKER_20 30:28

Everybody be quiet. If you if you're quiet, you can hear all our stomachs making noises. You can hear your blood going through your body.

SPEAKER_00 30:38

That's funny.

SPEAKER_01 30:40

Excuse me. See?

SPEAKER_03 30:43

Gone. Oh, what's the door?

SPEAKER_01 30:45

It's so quiet.

SPEAKER_03 30:46

Hey, what's this? I found something that feels like a doorknob.

SPEAKER_20 30:49

Oh, open it. Okay.

SPEAKER_03 30:55

Open it.

SPEAKER_15 30:57

Okay.

SPEAKER_11 30:58

Open the door. Okay. Okay, you know what? Yeah. You found a doorknob, but I want you to give me a roll to see what. So, like, I think what you're in is a mind prison. You know what I mean? A psychological alternate dimension prison. Queltnut has imprisoned you. But maybe there's like sort of like a riddle puzzle adventure you can start to go on. So, yes, you found a doorknob. You're gonna open it. You roll.

SPEAKER_26 31:22

Seven.

SPEAKER_11 31:23

Okay.

SPEAKER_26 31:24

God, these rolls. I know.

SPEAKER_11 31:25

So a seven. You open it up, and you're back in the prison cell where you all met. Remember where you met?

SPEAKER_20 31:33

Oh, look, guys, this is the prison cell where we met, and Will Pumpkin was such a coward.

SPEAKER_03 31:38

Look, here's the graffiti I put here. It says uh it says uh it says Roy Bale cheats on his taxes.

SPEAKER_20 31:44

Wait a minute. There's a tunnel.

SPEAKER_26 31:52

So we move the poster and roller?

SPEAKER_22 31:55

There's another doorknob. Ah crap. Should I roll for that one? Yeah. Okay, here we go.

SPEAKER_20 32:03

Sixteen!

SPEAKER_11 32:04

Nice. Okay. You open the door and it's something you So Chain, can we just stop for a second? You're kind of talking normal again. Very quickly became normal. No, it's fine. I kind of like it. It's much easier, but like have you got like have you maybe you want to like reconcile that? You've have you gotten better.

SPEAKER_20 32:26

I was saying, I was suggesting that I was puking a lot of the bad out.

SPEAKER_11 32:30

A lot of the evil out. Yeah, I was like, so like it was a bad process that Cyclone 2 did. Yeah. And it was kind of temporary, and now you're kind of a little bit back to normal. And I think there'll still be side effects that pop up every so often that that will that will come up. Definitely incorporate puking. What is it?

SPEAKER_03 32:48

I've got an idea.

SPEAKER_00 32:51

What if we just stay here and take our punishment? Well, maybe that's what the universe is telling us. That we weren't supposed to escape from our um from our punishment.

SPEAKER_11 33:04

When you hear a voice uh crackling through the thing, like interesting.

SPEAKER_20 33:08

Yeah, but see, it's not the universe now. We're in this guy's brain.

SPEAKER_03 33:18

Could you just not put you on maybe?

SPEAKER_20 33:19

Yeah, but sorry, it does.

SPEAKER_03 33:21

Maybe in a bigger way, it we're learning a lesson. From maybe the lesson is this. I'm listening.

SPEAKER_20 33:30

Come on. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 33:31

Well I had to go on a big adventure to find my courage.

SPEAKER_20 33:38

And I had to go from the living to the dead land and back.

SPEAKER_03 33:43

Yeah, and I had to um change my accent a bunch of times. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 33:52

Maybe maybe what we were supposed to do was not change. Right. Maybe we were supposed to stay as we are and embrace that.

SPEAKER_20 34:06

That's good thought, Will. I appreciate it. Good try and embrace.

SPEAKER_03 34:10

Does that make sense?

SPEAKER_20 34:12

What did the door reveal, Ryan, when I was cool?

SPEAKER_21 34:15

That's just oh yeah. You open the door.

SPEAKER_11 34:17

But that's like look, you're trying to figure this out. That's an interesting thing. So maybe the idea is you you don't do any changing. Yeah. You open the door, chain, you recognize it immediately. You recognize it immediately. It's it's uh a meadow, uh a clearing, and sort of a sparse forest, and you see a younger version of you uh with their dukes up fighting sort of a big uh rabbit guy.

SPEAKER_20 34:46

This is where I fought the big rabbit guy. There I am. Look at look at me. I'm just about to take him down. It's your first fight, Chain. This is your first fight. Oh, I was so scared.

SPEAKER_03 34:57

What happened? Why'd you fight this big rabbit guy? Did he did you steal his carrots?

SPEAKER_17 35:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 35:03

That's pretty good, prank.

SPEAKER_11 35:04

Yeah. Okay, can we see uh Mark play Mark C playing Young Chain and Mark L or Kevin L playing the rabbit guy? Uh, and let's hear this little uh exchange as they fight.

SPEAKER_12 35:15

Alright. So what if I did take your carrots?

SPEAKER_09 35:17

I'm gonna fucking kill you, man. Do you know how long it takes to grow carrots?

SPEAKER_20 35:22

It's like a seasonal thing, you know? It's not that long.

SPEAKER_09 35:24

You gotta plant them every year. They're not self-seeding. They don't self-seed.

SPEAKER_20 35:29

I thought carrots self-seeded.

SPEAKER_11 35:30

So this is your first fight? You're just apologizing.

SPEAKER_26 35:33

Talking about how carrots grow.

SPEAKER_11 35:35

You gotta fight. This is your first fight. This is like this is like what made you chain, what made you a badass. Okay.

SPEAKER_06 35:41

So come on, chain! Beat him up, chain.

SPEAKER_03 35:45

Hey, shut up! Oh my god, my own damn girlfriend.

SPEAKER_06 35:48

He stole carrots and my heart.

SPEAKER_20 35:50

Yeah, she's not your car anymore.

SPEAKER_06 35:53

Oh my god. I'm gonna fuck you, Chain.

SPEAKER_20 35:54

I'm gonna fuck you. We fuck like rabbits, just so you know.

SPEAKER_06 35:58

Yeah, that's right.

SPEAKER_20 35:59

I'm gonna I'm gonna kill you as well. Oh god, I gotta get rid of this guy.

SPEAKER_06 36:04

It's a bad guy. You gotta beat him up, Chain. I'm a bad, bad rabbit.

SPEAKER_20 36:09

So this is how I this is how I get my name wasn't Chain before this fight. This is how I get him up!

SPEAKER_08 36:16

Oh yeah, that's right. I'm calling you I'm calling you Hector. Yeah, my name's Hector.

SPEAKER_20 36:23

All right, take that. Start beating him up.

SPEAKER_22 36:26

No roll.

SPEAKER_03 36:28

Ow, ow. You think that's enough to beat me? Ha ha. Your stupid little fists.

SPEAKER_08 36:33

I could beat the crap out of you. And now, hew, hew, and now I'm gonna strangle the fucking life out of you and force my girlfriend to you. Try it.

SPEAKER_20 36:42

I'm gonna cut off your ears and skin you.

SPEAKER_08 36:47

I'm gonna drag you out near to my uh um uh industrial warehouse. I'm gonna chain you out. And I'm gonna whip you until you bleed. Try it.

SPEAKER_06 36:58

Oh my god, this is so hot.

SPEAKER_20 37:00

We get to his industrial warehouse and he chains me up.

SPEAKER_11 37:04

Okay, so you're chained up?

SPEAKER_20 37:05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_11 37:05

But then also the group is still watching. Yeah, they've all been do you want to say anything?

SPEAKER_20 37:10

Yeah, so what happens is he drags me to his industrial warehouse. Keep puking at you. He's quite he's quite he's quite strong. And he chained me up. Now, this is where I caught my name. See my my real name's actually Hector Melvin. But but I've gone by chain ever since his day. You'll see why in a second. So I'm chained.

SPEAKER_08 37:31

Alright, I'm gonna ch Alright, I'm wrapping you up with my chains. I'm gonna beat the fuck out of you. Hey. I'm gonna fucking torch you. Alright, where's my blood torch? Torch.

SPEAKER_26 37:46

And then while he's doing that, the rabbit girlfriend comes up and slips him a little chain, like a chain in his hand and goes, There you go, that should even the fight.

SPEAKER_11 37:54

How little a chain are we talking? Like a chain you wear around your neck or like a little chain like Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_26 37:58

She takes off her chain like a necklace that she has and she gives it to him, and like on the end of it has a crucifix for Jesus Christ. This is just what I need. So there's a lot of chains involved. We're eventually gonna figure out one of the things.

unknown 38:11

Exactly.

SPEAKER_20 38:12

Hey, before you torture me to death, rabbit guy, come here. I want to ask you something.

SPEAKER_08 38:16

Oh, right. I'm always interested in the I put it in his mouth.

SPEAKER_21 38:21

Chuck on that.

SPEAKER_04 38:25

I'm allergic to silver. And from now. Silver is what I'm allergic to. Really shouldn't have been called silver. Fuck. I know who betrayed me. It's my damn girlfriend. Ah, god damn it. My dying wish. Do me one favor before I die. I will. What? Then you put that in my mouth.

SPEAKER_24 38:48

I'm like, oh, I'm also allergic.

SPEAKER_11 38:52

Wow. Chain is a bad man. Everyone sees this. So Will Pumpkin sees this. Ryan Beale sees this. Chain sees this. What do you say, Chain?

SPEAKER_20 39:04

Yeah, at the time it seemed okay. It was a different time. We didn't it was like it was it was different then, you know. It's like rabbits weren't really people. You know, we didn't really respect them in the same way. Yeah, but their lifespan's not very killed an innocent woman.

SPEAKER_00 39:19

A lady rabbit, not a woman.

SPEAKER_20 39:20

But yeah, I see what I see why it looks bad now through this lens of today, you know. Yeah. Yeah. It's a bit difficult to watch, actually.

SPEAKER_19 39:31

Well, well, well.

SPEAKER_11 39:33

You hear a booming voice.

SPEAKER_19 39:34

That's how you got your name. Through murder.

SPEAKER_11 39:38

Come back here, Queltner. I'll put a chain in your mouth. So then the rabbit, the rabbit that you just killed, the rabbit guy, morphs into another uh just floating doorknob.

SPEAKER_20 39:52

I think we're all gonna have to reconcile with our pasts.

SPEAKER_03 39:56

Okay, I'll I'll try this one. Damn! We already know where it's going. We're not gonna want to see what we're gonna do.

SPEAKER_26 40:04

I grab it and I open it up. I have to roll, I guess, right? Or are we just going for it?

SPEAKER_11 40:08

Uh give me a roll to see what kind of memory it is, but yeah.

SPEAKER_08 40:12

Four. Oh, suddenly we're rolling again.

SPEAKER_23 40:18

Yeah.

SPEAKER_11 40:19

Yeah. Yeah, suddenly you're rolling again. That's my prerogative. And you're rolling, and it's gonna be different than the thing I already wrote. And you you you go it you go in and you're Ryan Beale, you're talking to your accountant.

SPEAKER_24 40:33

Alright, so uh anyway.

SPEAKER_11 40:35

It's like kind of a sort of a uh what do you like a what it what's a good little accountant guy? Uh a kobold, which is kind of like a very small lizard y goblin guy. Uh they're like very short, and they usually have like they're usually like in the DD universe, like um they'll encounter you on uh in raids on on the road, but you have like a little small little uh uh goblin goblin guy uh uh accountant.

SPEAKER_26 41:00

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 41:02

So uh anyway, we can uh get around this if you know what I mean. Wink, a little creative uh little number magic there. Wink.

SPEAKER_20 41:09

No.

SPEAKER_03 41:10

A little bit of a prank on the tax man.

SPEAKER_20 41:12

No, though I'll lose my license. So let me just see here. So you're claiming a lot of these things are. What are you fuck you doing? What the fuck are you doing? Sorry, sorry. I don't know. I don't know why I did that.

SPEAKER_03 41:26

Why the fuck are you putting that in my mouth? Little prank, check it out. Uh you cleaned my chain for me, thank you. No, no. And that's how you got your name chain. I was called Chain for a little bit. I think that's why I got confused. Let's find out how I got my nickname Ryan Beale.

SPEAKER_05 41:41

You were called Chain.

SPEAKER_20 41:43

No, okay. You know what? I have to see another client. Ryan Beale's coming in. Ryan.

SPEAKER_11 41:49

Hi, thanks for seeing. What the hell? Ryan Beale!

SPEAKER_20 41:53

Yeah. You're not Brian Real? Oh, do you know each other?

SPEAKER_24 41:56

Uh I've heard of you.

SPEAKER_11 41:59

Your name's currently Chain or Yeah, actually, yeah, let's do that. Okay, nice. Yeah, yeah, we know each other. Okay. That's right. Uh so I'm kind of like I'm kind of fucked here because uh it's been a couple of years since I I'll just hang out. Right, go ahead and have a seat.

SPEAKER_12 42:13

Yeah, so I don't know if I can do some creative stuff for you, Ryan.

SPEAKER_00 42:18

What? Ryan, Ryan, file your taxes so we can go on a date based on the street. Who's this, Ryan? It's my aunt.

SPEAKER_10 42:26

Who is it? Your wife, Lily. No, no, no.

SPEAKER_11 42:34

Who is it? And I Ryan Beale, the me, picks up a chain and eats it. Oh my god. Oh god. But his wallet falls out, and Chain, or the who we know is Ryan Beale, sees the wallet.

SPEAKER_03 42:51

Right.

SPEAKER_11 42:52

Do you pick it up and assume my.

SPEAKER_03 42:54

You're willing to cheat for Ryan Beal. What the fuck are you doing? What if I was Ryan Bean?

SPEAKER_20 42:58

You're just taking his wallet? What are you doing?

SPEAKER_03 43:00

Yeah, that's right.

SPEAKER_20 43:01

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_03 43:01

Look, we look alike, right?

SPEAKER_20 43:02

I can't be party to this. I can't represent you anymore. I'm not your accountant. Okay, open your mouth. What okay.

SPEAKER_11 43:09

Stop it. I'm not allergic. No, no, this time you were allergic. So yeah.

SPEAKER_26 43:14

It's actually made of a egg and you're allergic to egg.

SPEAKER_11 43:16

And then that guy morphs into another door knob.

SPEAKER_20 43:20

Wait, everyone was on my ass about what a bad guy I was, and this was Ryan Beale just gets a pass. Like, come on, can we like talk about how bad he is?

SPEAKER_03 43:30

I want to talk about how I thought you were in jail for cheating on your taxes, but it seems it's for fraud and murder. Uh yeah, I guess it was. I thought it was a taxes, though. Man, my memory.

SPEAKER_20 43:41

No, it was for pulling a prank on me. It was for showing your bum to someone, is that what you said, right? Originally?

SPEAKER_03 43:47

I think I said Oh, it's my penis. Oh, your front bum. Yeah. My penis. Yeah, that's right. I thought it was my penis. Oh, nope, there I go. I pulled my penis out. And I'm like on top of the accountant's face.

SPEAKER_19 43:59

And then you hear the booming voice. Yes, you're all terrible. You've all been bad your whole life.

SPEAKER_03 44:05

Are you like jacking off back there, Quelfnar? Really sultry and really enjoying this a lot. Quelfnaw, if you if you're jacking off, you have to tell us. That's the rule. If in a mind prison, if the god is jacking off, I'm not, okay? Don't tell us we're not in your mind prison, but instead in your spank bank. I feel like I could.

SPEAKER_20 44:30

Let's see what's Will's past. Oh don't. You've gotta open the doorknob, Will. It's gonna be embarrassing for sure. I have a feeling it's gonna be really embarrassing. But we've all done it.

SPEAKER_00 44:41

Oh. It's gonna show me something about the pig.

SPEAKER_03 44:47

I just know it. I'm gonna roll. I roll an eight.

SPEAKER_11 44:52

Okay, yeah. So it's the pig. I was gonna give you the leeway if you had like a really high roll, something something more sort of interesting. But I think like let's I feel like we need to see the pig moment.

SPEAKER_26 45:10

Okay.

SPEAKER_11 45:11

So who wants to play the pig? Kevin Chapter.

SPEAKER_26 45:15

How dare you?

SPEAKER_11 45:16

Well, I just played the cobalt. There we go, perfect. It's late night. There's a there's a it's a farm by a lake. Uh the the fireflies are dancing. It's peaceful. The family who lives in the uh farm building is asleep. There's three pigs. So, Mark, you can play a pig too, Mark. There's two pigs. There's two pigs. And they're kind of like nuzzling at each other. They're very sweet. They're quite big. And Will Pumpkin, young Will Pumpkin, or younger Will Pumpkin, not that much younger than this. We see him.

SPEAKER_04 45:47

Did somebody order a third pig? So a third pig.

SPEAKER_05 45:52

Hey, Hammy. Yeah, it looks like. Hey, Hammy, you're back.

SPEAKER_04 45:55

Look, yeah, let's just talk to the pigs for a bit. We'll establish the pigs. I'm running away from my farm because they're thinking of kitting me.

SPEAKER_05 46:02

Oh yeah. Our people are vegetarians. Yeah. They use us for milk most of the time. Oh, lucky. We're dairy pigs.

SPEAKER_04 46:10

Did somebody order a beer or something? Yeah, beers. Oh my god! Oh hell yeah, bro.

SPEAKER_05 46:14

Hammy, you fucking rocked it. Yeah, dude. You fucking rock, Hammy.

SPEAKER_04 46:19

I figure I don't know how much longer I've got on this earth.

SPEAKER_05 46:23

I got some sticky icky in the back here. Get some dank stuff here. Oh shit, you've been saving that for a special occasion. Well, nothing more special than Hammy coming to visit unannounced. Let's uh spark it up.

SPEAKER_04 46:35

Hey, somebody order some A B C D E F G H I Jake. I mean that's not wrong.

SPEAKER_06 46:41

Oh my god! Holy crap, dude! And guess what? Look what I got. I got um, I got uh these these magazines. I got a bunch of magazines. Yep. Illegal magazines.

SPEAKER_05 46:51

Oh, hell yeah. Naked pigs. Let me see that naked pigs. Oh, that's nice. Oh, naked pigs. That's good. Oh, I like what I'm seeing. Wow.

SPEAKER_11 47:00

I want to hear two more that's did someone orders, and then we'll get to the web. Two more?

SPEAKER_04 47:04

Someone orders? Hey, somebody ordered three uh party boys and a couple of supports.

SPEAKER_26 47:11

A couple like uh like naked like dancers come in. These are all pigs.

SPEAKER_05 47:16

Somebody order some Viagra? Try this.

SPEAKER_24 47:20

Oh anybody order uh anybody order anybody order a turtle with a little top hat on?

SPEAKER_05 47:26

Oh, I did. Hell yeah. Mr. Turtle!

SPEAKER_11 47:29

Okay, Mr. Turtle's here too. So that's the second one. So now look coming out. So we see younger Will Pumpkin speak over the crest of a berm, and he's peering into these pigs, and he's gonna steal one of them. A berm. A berm.

SPEAKER_00 47:48

I need to steal a pig to feed my family. But I'm so scared. They're having such a party. And if I take one, maybe they're wall game.

SPEAKER_20 47:59

Can Kevin and I play his his conscience as his good and bad devil angel?

SPEAKER_11 48:03

Yes, absolutely. But you have to talk like we're pumpkin. Okay.

SPEAKER_17 48:07

You shouldn't do it. It's bad for you to do it.

SPEAKER_23 48:12

Come on, do it. There's no reason not to.

SPEAKER_17 48:18

I'm scared of that other one. Just do it then, I guess.

SPEAKER_23 48:22

Yeah, I'm scared of me too. Don't you should do it, but just be careful.

SPEAKER_00 48:29

I'm a third one on your shoulder. I'm indecisive.

SPEAKER_06 48:34

He's so big and strong.

SPEAKER_20 48:38

So it's the most powerful of the three.

SPEAKER_17 48:41

The indecisive one. We don't know either.

SPEAKER_03 48:44

Or the fourth one on your shoulder I say, do something diff with. Oh I'm another one.

SPEAKER_17 48:51

I'm the one that has to I'm the one that has to go number two. You should go number two, Will Pumpkin.

SPEAKER_18 48:57

I'm the I'm another one, Will Pumpkin. You should you should you should eat that poo after.

SPEAKER_11 49:02

Quick cut back to the pig party. Quick cut back to the pig party.

SPEAKER_05 49:07

Oh yeah. Get him okay. Ladies, party boys. Hey Bethany, how you doing? How you doing about tech? I'm like a pig in shit, and that shit's full of drugs and sex. Who wants to ruin my stop? Let's do it. Oh gosh.

SPEAKER_13 49:26

Oh, this is yo lo to the max. If I'm having a last night, I'll be doing this.

SPEAKER_06 49:30

PJ is making my Tara's curl.

SPEAKER_13 49:33

Oh, hell yeah. Hell yeah. Okay, so come back to Will Pumpkin. Oh yeah, let's get this going.

SPEAKER_00 49:40

Hell yeah. Hell yeah. I don't know what to do. All the voices in my head are contradicting each other. And one of them wants to poo and he wants and another one wants me to eat the poo. Oh, Will Pumpkin, you've got to make a choice just for yourself. I'm gonna run away. You don't steal the pig? I'm running away. No, I'm not gonna steal it. I'm too afraid.

SPEAKER_20 50:08

Oh, see, that's even more interesting. He got arrested because he lied about stealing a pig.

SPEAKER_26 50:12

Yeah, well, how did he get arrested? Yeah.

SPEAKER_20 50:14

Let's let's see. Let's see.

SPEAKER_11 50:17

Let's see the arrest. Let's see the arrest.

unknown 50:18

Whip whip whip whip whip whoop.

SPEAKER_11 50:22

So they don't have a sirens, they're just making a message. Hey. Hey, young man, where are you going?

SPEAKER_00 50:30

I didn't do anything. Oh, you did.

SPEAKER_20 50:33

Sounds like a crime to me. Yeah, it sure does.

SPEAKER_00 50:36

No, wait. Wait, please.

SPEAKER_03 50:39

I was gonna steal a pig, but I did.

SPEAKER_25 50:43

Doesn't he sound uh fit the description of like mass murderer who like stabbed and killed a bunch of people and uh did other stuff?

SPEAKER_20 50:49

I mean, like he will look like that guy eventually.

SPEAKER_26 50:52

Oh, I'm trying to set up that in the past he was also a psycho serial killer. He's always been a psycho serial killer.

SPEAKER_20 50:58

Let me pull out the the the uh the wood carving, uh the wanted poster wood carving.

SPEAKER_26 51:04

You carry a big backpack full of different wood carvings.

SPEAKER_20 51:07

Not that one. Not this one. There it is. Yeah, he looks just like him. You're coming with that strangler!

SPEAKER_00 51:15

I'm rolling to kill you both.

SPEAKER_20 51:17

I see his dice website, lightest face up.

SPEAKER_11 51:22

It's pretty good. You kill one of them and wound the other.

SPEAKER_21 51:26

I'm dead. Spare me. I've got a family. Come on.

SPEAKER_11 51:32

Do you spare him, Will?

SPEAKER_03 51:34

I've got to get out of this this I've gotta get out of this dimension. You take me to prison. I've got an idea. I love it.

SPEAKER_21 51:45

Wait, what have you done? What's the crime?

SPEAKER_00 51:49

Pig thief!

SPEAKER_03 51:50

I want a minimum security cell, and if you do anything to fuck with me, I'll kill you and all the everyone you've ever loved.

SPEAKER_20 51:59

Pulling the strings all along. This is amazing. I love it.

SPEAKER_21 52:02

Okay, all right. I love it. Okay, we'll take you in. Just don't kill me or my family. I live just around the corner. Oh, damn it.

SPEAKER_00 52:11

I'd hate to have to kill Elizabeth.

SPEAKER_21 52:14

I don't even know her name.

SPEAKER_00 52:17

I'd hate to have to kill Will Pee-Pee.

SPEAKER_21 52:21

Will Will no Lil Lil Tyler. Yeah, that would be terrible. Alright, I'll take you in. Hello. Um, I've got an arrest.

SPEAKER_20 52:31

I know all about you. This young man was caught stealing a pig and he did not attack a cop.

SPEAKER_16 52:39

Hop, hop, alright.

SPEAKER_08 52:40

Put him in the cell. And then I I slam the door on this memory. Will Pumpkin slams the door on this memory and he goes, No, I begged you not to make me show it.

SPEAKER_03 52:50

Will Will Pumpkin. You so now you know my secret. I'm a mass murderer motivated only by bloodlust. It makes a lot of sense with all the killings. Right? Yeah. So what's next? You're gonna You killed Chain, so I guess I'm left, eh?

SPEAKER_00 53:16

I've learned something from you too. I've learned the value of friendship. I've been a lone wolf my entire life. Killing because I've been rejected.

SPEAKER_03 53:28

So your brother that I went and left my s left left of myself on. Was that not even your brother?

SPEAKER_20 53:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 53:36

No, so that that really takes a lot of the fun out of you.

SPEAKER_20 53:39

Yeah, the whole thing, the reason you kill me is because I started talking about how we tore him apart and then brought him back and then and then Ryan Buell left of himself.

SPEAKER_03 53:48

Oh, that guy.

SPEAKER_00 53:49

Yeah, no, that was a brother.

SPEAKER_20 53:52

That guy, yeah, that guy.

SPEAKER_00 53:55

He's the only one who ever cared about me, but then he left for one. Whoa, whoa.

SPEAKER_11 54:00

Quelfnar appears. He's wearing a wizard uniform with uh sleeveless. He's so jacked. Covered in tats. He's so jacked.

SPEAKER_02 54:09

Did you like my little games? Oh lucky.

SPEAKER_03 54:15

You're freshly squeezed, Quelfnar, I can see.

SPEAKER_11 54:18

You seem just such good friends. What'd you say?

SPEAKER_03 54:20

I said you're freshly squeezed, I can tell. You're freshly squeezed. I was looking up a euphemism for jacking off that you just finished jacking off. Oh.

SPEAKER_20 54:35

Yeah, you do. I can tell. No, I'm not. You do have a look of relief on your face.

SPEAKER_03 54:39

No, I'm not. I'm not.

SPEAKER_20 54:41

No, I'm not.

SPEAKER_03 54:42

Pope, no pope. Yeah, exactly. That's right.

SPEAKER_11 54:45

He poked it up. I wanted to show you the reel of who you all thought you were your friends. You all come from the shit. And you are shit. What?

SPEAKER_20 54:54

No. Everyone's redeemable, Quelfnaw.

SPEAKER_11 54:56

No, you're not.

SPEAKER_03 54:57

Yeah. And at least if we're from the shit, we're all from the shit together. And look at you. Where are you from? A black void where you crank it to people's bad memories? Get fucked.

SPEAKER_02 55:06

I'm not from here. I'm not from here. I just made this place. You got a passport from here. I made this with magic.

SPEAKER_20 55:16

My powerful magic. Yeah, you're from it. This is where you were born in this place, and you crank it to bad memories. Look. What?

SPEAKER_03 55:24

A fourth Quelfnar's door. Quelfnar's door.

SPEAKER_20 55:29

Open the door, Quelfnar. Let's see where you come from. No, I can't. Why can't you?

SPEAKER_11 55:34

I can't do it because this is my place. No. This is my dominion.

SPEAKER_20 55:38

You need to open the door, Quelfnar.

SPEAKER_11 55:39

Psycho jail. What are you scared? Hmm? Fine. Fine, I'll open the door. You'll see exactly who you're dealing with. He takes his big jacked hand and he opens the door and he goes inside.

SPEAKER_03 55:55

He's cranking it from the voice. Okay, go.

SPEAKER_11 56:00

I'm gonna let you all roll, and whoever has the highest roll gets to describe what we see. Okay, I'm rolling. Eight. Twelve. Twelve. Okay, Mark little. What do we see in Quelthenar's memory? Memory door. Quelthenar's a little boy. If we see clearly we see a young brother.

SPEAKER_08 56:23

Yeah, and his father's jacked. And his brother's jacked, and his mom's jacked.

SPEAKER_11 56:28

Okay, so I'll play young Quelthnar and you are all my family. Only Quelthnar's not jacked.

SPEAKER_07 56:33

I'm learning a new spell.

SPEAKER_20 56:40

Queltnar, you're such a loser. Bye mom, bye dad. I'm gonna go to the gym.

SPEAKER_25 56:46

See ya, Quelfnode.

SPEAKER_09 56:48

I love you so much. Huh? See you little see you later, baby. See you later, little hell little fruk little hell fur.

SPEAKER_07 56:57

His name is Quelf Node. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

SPEAKER_16 57:01

God, if you had some muscles, you'd be able to fucking not be such a friggin' dumbass.

SPEAKER_07 57:06

Mom, please stop it.

SPEAKER_20 57:08

Can I kick his ass?

SPEAKER_08 57:09

Yeah. Okay. Honey, can our son kick our son's ass?

SPEAKER_04 57:17

Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_26 57:22

And then later we see little Quelfnar in his room by himself crying.

SPEAKER_20 57:28

And a snail comes into the room.

SPEAKER_12 57:32

Hi, Quetna.

SPEAKER_07 57:34

I I enchanted you so you can be my only friend.

SPEAKER_12 57:37

I don't really like you.

SPEAKER_07 57:39

What?

SPEAKER_12 57:39

I don't like you.

SPEAKER_07 57:41

But I enchanted you.

SPEAKER_12 57:42

Yeah. You're kind of I don't like you.

SPEAKER_07 57:46

Okay.

SPEAKER_12 57:46

Bye.

SPEAKER_07 57:48

You move so fast.

SPEAKER_09 57:51

Hey, we got a new s check out this snail!

SPEAKER_07 57:55

He's so jacked.

SPEAKER_09 57:56

I love this snail.

SPEAKER_07 57:57

You guys are awesome.

SPEAKER_08 57:58

Can't believe that that's it. You're like the other son I never am. We're gonna call you Quelfnar. Awesome. Can I be here?

SPEAKER_16 58:06

You get to have let's call the snail. We're called the snail Quelthnar. No. He's from here. Quelthnar's not from here. The snail is from here. Yeah.

SPEAKER_08 58:18

Hey, Queltnar's talking to himself again. Hey, son, get in there. Queltnar kick his ass.

SPEAKER_15 58:25

No. Oh! Oh! Oh!

SPEAKER_08 58:30

Yeah, let's see the C Quelthnar in the principal's office later in his life.

SPEAKER_07 58:35

Hello. Hello.

SPEAKER_20 58:40

Kevin, you'd be in the principal office.

SPEAKER_03 58:44

Hello? I think my voice is like this. It will be now. What? Oh, what do you want? I don't know. Queltner, you can't rebel. We all know you're a little wet noodle.

SPEAKER_07 58:55

Stop it!

SPEAKER_20 58:56

Yeah, you have no musculature. Quelfnar, tell the tell principal daddy what you did. I'll tell him. Principal Daddy, Quelfnar's been putting people in mine prisons and he's been jerking it to it.

SPEAKER_03 59:08

Oh, Quelfnar. I thought you'd been over this.

SPEAKER_07 59:11

I'm just trying to develop dark magic to kill my entire family because I keep it. You're just trying to develop it.

SPEAKER_25 59:17

You're just trying to develop sperm that won't embarrass you. Oh y'all know your sperm's not jacked either.

SPEAKER_10 59:21

This world, everyone's so fucking mean to me.

SPEAKER_25 59:25

Quelfna, you're not from anywhere, are you? You're just from nowhere. Nowhere. Nowhere.

SPEAKER_20 59:30

You're from your own brain, Quelf guy.

unknown 59:34

Quilt.

SPEAKER_20 59:36

You're from your own boy, Quelf guy.

SPEAKER_07 59:38

Yeah? What about this?

SPEAKER_09 59:41

We're mother and I didn't want another cry. She didn't give birth to you. You're from your own brain. Brain, brain. Kick his ass, son!

SPEAKER_11 59:52

Kick his ass, son! The memory fades away, and Quelfnar, even though he's now jacked and tatted up, he's like a shell of a person. He's like in the fetal position crying, crying on the voidless, dark black floor.

SPEAKER_20 1:00:08

Wow, that was intense, man. Wow, Queltner.

SPEAKER_19 1:00:12

From your own brain? You have ten doors to choose from. You can leave my mind prison.

SPEAKER_10 1:00:19

But you can only go through one. I have to so we choose a door? You choose to gather a roll. But I need you out of here.

SPEAKER_20 1:00:28

Who wants to do choose the door?

SPEAKER_00 1:00:33

I want to go back to the pig party. But not to thieve to hang out as a celebration of our adventure. Kind of a happily ever after.

SPEAKER_20 1:00:44

Yeah, is one of those doors the pig party? Quelqu'un. We'll make one of the doors the pig party. Okay. Which one is it?

SPEAKER_11 1:00:50

But you're gonna go. So you're gonna go through I'm not gonna tell you. You're gonna roll someone's gonna roll. Okay, okay. You're gonna choose a random door. Or you can just choose randomly. Or you can just roll chain.

SPEAKER_20 1:01:04

I'm gonna roll a D10. Here we go. Rolling. Eight. Door number eight.

SPEAKER_11 1:01:12

Guess where you are? Where? The pig party.

SPEAKER_15 1:01:22

Oh, I bet. I bet that's what he rolled. Hey, come on. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:27

Hey, hey, look at these newcomers, alright.

SPEAKER_13 1:01:30

Hey, come on in. Come in. The slop is warm. Hell yeah. Hell yeah. Yeah, hell yeah. Hey guys, this might be my last night on earth, so we're getting upstairs.

SPEAKER_11 1:01:39

Okay, guys, I'm sorry, I have to admit something. It wasn't the pig party. What was it? What was it really? I just wanted you to like another check because I love the big party. I love I love all the party boys. I love all the slops. I love the drugs. I love the partying. I love the drinking. It was actually, this is what I wrote down. You're on a pirate ship. Oh, amazing. Okay.

SPEAKER_26 1:02:03

Surrounded by pirates, or is that like you're on the open ocean.

SPEAKER_11 1:02:06

It's a pirate ship surrounded by pirates.

SPEAKER_08 1:02:08

Should we get a glimpse of the pirate culture before?

SPEAKER_11 1:02:12

Yeah, so let's hear, let's just do or or or react to it. Let's uh let's hear a little pirate song. I'll be the captain, and then you guys will be my crew, and we'll hear a little bit of a pirate song, and then we'll end. Okay. Alright. We're my crew. It's time for us. That sounds like the beaver. What's a voice I can do? I haven't done yet. You can do classic pirate.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:47

Sing me a song about the lives we've taken and the direction of our boat. One, two, three, four.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:55

We're headed north because that's the way. We've got lots of bodies in our cold. That's enough. We're headed north.

SPEAKER_13 1:03:08

No, that's fine, keep going. Keep going. And this and this we and this we have to say our adventures were successful and so bold.

SPEAKER_03 1:03:20

And if we know what's right and what we do is true, I will see this mission off with me and you. So look down in the hold, and I'll tell you a tale a tale about some pirates and the pirates that are bold.

SPEAKER_01 1:03:42

We're headed north now. Who are these?

SPEAKER_20 1:03:49

Who are these? An elf, a human, and a dwarf. Oh shit. Wanted to go to the pig party. Oh, it's not the looks like we're some sort of boat. Looks like a park party. My name's Chank. I'm recently reanimated from the dead by a uh an angel figure named Cyclone 2.

SPEAKER_02 1:04:10

Put them in chains and take them to the hold with the booty. What? Oh god.

SPEAKER_00 1:04:16

Shane, Roy and Beale. Do I have permission to go off script? Yeah.

SPEAKER_21 1:04:26

Should we end there on the That's a great, so we're gonna see.

SPEAKER_11 1:04:29

Like it sounds like Will Pumpkin's gonna do his killing magic.

SPEAKER_20 1:04:34

Hopefully, just commandeer a pirate ship at the end.

SPEAKER_11 1:04:36

Maybe you'll have a pirate ship at your disposal. You don't know where you are, but you went through the door. You broke uh Quelthnar's mind. You all were faced with sort of like um uh very uh pivotal moments of your uh memories in your life, what made you who you are. You went through that. You reanimated Chain. Maybe we'll see uh Cyclone 2 again. He lives in Ryan Beale's hand. Um and I thought that was really fun. We could also do a hard reset because that could just be the end of that. You know what? And we can imagine them, they're fine on this pirate ship. They've got a bunch of people to kill. You know what? Let's do a little bit of a dance, a little game next week, and let's see if we want to do a hard reset or uh watch them uh keep going on this pirate ship. But I feel like I feel like it's time to do a hard reset. We've got these characters into a place where you know they've confronted some ghosts, they've found new meaning, they've reanimated a corpse.

SPEAKER_20 1:05:28

You know, they were maybe off the rails, but it got it got ripe. It's it feels smooth now again, which is hard to do with these.

SPEAKER_11 1:05:38

Well, to testament to all of you, it's a great group, it's a great party, it's the nightmare party, and you know what? Next week we might do a fourth hard reset. New characters, new world, new adventure, new stuff. Uh please join us uh as we continue this uh beautiful podcast called uh the Nightmare Party. Thank you for joining us. Bye. Bye.