Nightmare Party - Chasm Children

The fourth hard reset introduces us to a group of tailors who specialize in selling armour to younglings.

Transcript

SPEAKER_03 0:14

Welcome back to Nightmare Party, a podcast where I, Ryan Beale, have finally convinced some of my very funny comedian friends to play a version of DD with me. DD adjacent. We roll dice, but we focus more on the stories and the characters and the adventures and the missions therein. We don't do all the rules, but we have some of the rules. Uh and uh welcome back. So, of course, it's the same group as always. It's Kevin L, Mark L, and Mark C. How are you guys? Great, Ryan.

SPEAKER_05 0:46

How are you?

SPEAKER_03 0:46

Fine. Thanks for coming back again and again and again.

SPEAKER_05 0:49

Yeah, we'll see how long this goes.

SPEAKER_03 0:53

When are we getting paid? Soon. Yeah, soon. It's just a whole bank account issue. Uh but yeah. So it's a whole bank account issue. Um uh Royal Bank and whatnot. Um, so but like, listen, last week was a bit of a mind bender, a bit of a mind Fm because we had our our current party uh go into sort of a mind prison uh that a wizard put you into, um, where you had to open different doors and you relived different memories, kind of like in Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey, which is the second one, where they go to hell and they open doors and they go to bad memories and such, and it's it's real, it's a real nightmare.

SPEAKER_07 1:36

That was your inspiration? Yeah. Taking a lot of things away. We get a Bernie's uh bogus journey, lots of like next is biodome. We're gonna do something like that.

SPEAKER_03 1:45

Anything I was able to rent as a team from my local video store. Uh, but but we discovered a little bit, we some backstory of these characters we've come to know and love. Um, but then the whole thing, like I won't bore the, you know, people are just joining us. A lot of this happened.

SPEAKER_07 2:00

I'm boring people with what we've been doing so far and all the entertainment we provided.

SPEAKER_02 2:05

I won't bore you with that. But at the very end, they went through it like I think you had to roll, and you went through one of ten doors, I believe, or something like this.

SPEAKER_03 2:15

You rolled, you wanted to go to a pig party where the pigs were drinking and smoking weed, but instead you got zapped onto a pirate ship, and that's where we are now. So our our party has been um zapped onto a pirate, transformed, trans what do you call it? Transported onto a pirate ship. Onto a pirate ship. Yes. And so, but we discussed a little bit at the end there. Now we've done this a few times now, something we call a hard reset, where we sometimes feel like we've reached as far as we can go with uh the characters we're playing and the story we're telling, and we'd like to sort of like shake the etch a sketch and start again. And that was on the table last week. But also the pirate ship itself is also kind of a hard reset. So you will be the same characters you've been playing for the last few weeks, but now you're on a pirate ship. Sound like a hard reset to me. Soft reset. Soft reset. Sounds like a good one. So I'd love to hear from the here from the group what what you feel like. Uh we've done a lot of.

SPEAKER_05 3:18

Reset, one role for reset for Mark L. I just have to come up with another voice. So but I'll oh yeah.

SPEAKER_09 3:25

No, this is a big reason for me wanting to reset. I'm playing my own voice. I'm not doing a guy anymore. Yeah, you've consistently done guys. You have done guys. Yeah, I'm gonna do a I'm gonna do me. Okay. I want to play a big guy too. Right.

SPEAKER_05 3:42

The opposite of uh of a little puppy wimp. Yeah, but he's a pretty uh total psycho successful murderer, Mark C. Kevin L. I vote I vote for a reset. I I do, although I am intrigued by the pirate ship, uh, but maybe we'll come find a pirate ship in the reset. Who knows?

SPEAKER_03 4:01

I'll hold on to that. Yeah. So you are intrigued by pirates? That's cool, Mark.

SPEAKER_07 4:05

Um, and me, I also want to reset, but I'm gonna vote not reset just so that there's one dissenting voice, but I still get overruled by two to one, so then it still just happens anyway. Let the record show behavior. That's more like I want a conflict, but yeah, cook behavior pressure. I just want to watch people vote against me.

SPEAKER_03 4:24

Kevin cares about history. He cares about the records of history, about the documents that believe sweep, you know, but because every week I do file, I do file what we do with uh my local civic.

SPEAKER_07 4:36

You're doing all that, but are you are you why don't you work out the bank problems then if you're doing so much work at the It's just I can't get the the hours are crazy, they're only open from like one to two And you're only free it's a lunch bank four three yeah it's a lunch bank.

SPEAKER_09 4:55

Here's my question is we were just talking about the episode where we ran an ep uh ran a restaurant. Oh yeah, puppy brews can pubby brewsters. Could we uh could could we come up with another place where we could all work?

SPEAKER_03 5:10

Yeah.

SPEAKER_09 5:11

Great, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 5:11

You're working together, you're part of another colleague adventure. Absolutely. Let's do that. Absolutely. What are you guys feeling? I mean, the classic DD version would be you're running a tavern.

SPEAKER_05 5:23

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 5:23

Oh, fun. Yeah, running a tavern.

SPEAKER_05 5:26

I think we've we've had a lot like we want to stay in in DD world, right, Ryan? You're gonna put us in like a family. I would like to see that.

SPEAKER_03 5:32

Otherwise, we're just we start to do just like if we're like running a gap kids or something, and we're rolling dice.

SPEAKER_09 5:39

Although that's let's okay, let's run. Uh what's the version of a gap kids?

SPEAKER_07 5:46

Like pit, pit? Like, I feel like DD would be like a gap would be like a like a pit you could fall into or something, right? So it's like chasm, chasm kids, chasm. Chasm kids.

SPEAKER_09 5:55

And we make uh and we make um you know, clothing, but in the old way.

SPEAKER_07 6:00

Uh you make cloaks. We like jerkins.

SPEAKER_03 6:03

And what do you call it? Um tunics and jerkins. Tunics, jerkins. Or we're talking about a playstation. So the the the idea on the table is you're running a version of Gab Kids.

SPEAKER_09 6:14

Called Chasm Child.

SPEAKER_03 6:15

But in the like a fantasy world. So Chasm Children, we called it. Yeah.

SPEAKER_09 6:19

Chasm children, sure.

SPEAKER_03 6:20

Chasm children. Yeah, I love chasm chasm children. We one's pants.

SPEAKER_07 6:24

Don't say that.

SPEAKER_03 6:25

I mean, in in a in a fantasy world, children would have to be dressed. Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 6:31

It's reasonable assumption, yeah. Yeah. Unless, Ryan, in all of our adventures, you've pictured like children running around in the background completely nude. How dare you. You're just realizing the kids should be dressed now? Like what?

SPEAKER_03 6:47

Well done. Well done, Kevin. Getting a little burn on the DM there. That's good. No, everyone's been dressed in my mind, in my imagination, in my mind's eye. So do we all like this?

SPEAKER_02 6:56

You're working at a clothing a clothing store?

SPEAKER_09 6:59

Yeah, we're working at a I I don't know if you'd call this a tailor shop. Yes. A tailor shop. Some sort of a child's.

SPEAKER_07 7:06

Children's armor. Because it'sn't usually like that's a child's armor. We could also do armor. Store is like an armor, but this is like children's armor. So it is chasm children, and it's like children's like female. Exactly.

SPEAKER_09 7:17

Oh yeah, we're armorers. One of us could could could do the smithing.

SPEAKER_05 7:21

Yeah.

SPEAKER_09 7:22

But it's just for the younglings. For the younglings.

SPEAKER_05 7:25

For the younglings, yeah.

SPEAKER_09 7:27

Younglings garb.

SPEAKER_05 7:29

Younglings garb. Youngling. Chasm children. Younglings garb. So that's the sub tit that's the subtitle of the store's name. Younglings Garb. Younglings Garb. Perfect. Chasm Children, Younglings Garb.

SPEAKER_02 7:41

Where where? What kind of is it a big city you're in?

SPEAKER_03 7:47

A big metropolis sort of thing? Or are we in like a small town?

SPEAKER_05 7:51

Town. Town. Village.

SPEAKER_09 7:53

Town, bitch.

SPEAKER_07 7:56

There were some towns that Mark L mentioned a while ago, along with Choncoville. There was a couple of other ones.

SPEAKER_09 8:02

Wizard Wizardopia.

SPEAKER_07 8:05

Blue Haven is what I have written down. Maybe New Haven. Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_05 8:09

Maybe like Wizardopolis. That makes it sound like a big city.

SPEAKER_08 8:13

Oh. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 8:14

A lot of wizardops. It could be funny if it's a Wizardopolis and it's a quite a small town. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 8:21

We could find the lore of why it's named Wizardopolis. That'd be fun.

SPEAKER_03 8:24

Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 8:26

Okay, great. Okay, good.

SPEAKER_03 8:28

Um, before we get too much into the setting, we need to know who the party is, because this is what this the show is called the Nightmare Party. It's about the characters, it's about your your plight together. So I'd love to hear who we all want to play. And again, we're not going to do the standard in in in classic DD. There's a whole way to roll up characters, as we call it, but we're not doing that. It's just who you want to play. We're saying, you know, yes to all of that. And and um but I'd like to know just a little bit about like how you look physically.

SPEAKER_09 8:58

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 8:59

I'm huge. Great. So let's start with that. And I'm made of rocks.

SPEAKER_04 9:03

Hey, alright.

SPEAKER_09 9:05

You're you're you're the thing from Yeah, I'm sort of like the thing.

SPEAKER_07 9:11

Brooklyn or Queens or something like that.

SPEAKER_09 9:13

Yeah. Yeah, but I'm not from Brooklyn or Queens because I don't do a voice. I'm not a guy.

SPEAKER_03 9:16

Yeah. Oh yeah, you're no voice. You're just Markel's putting his foot down. He's not doing a voice this round.

SPEAKER_09 9:21

He's done a voice almost every round. Well, maybe I'll do a bit of a voice now that I'm huge.

SPEAKER_05 9:27

Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_09 9:29

Sort of gruff.

SPEAKER_05 9:30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_09 9:32

Okay, I'm doing a voice.

SPEAKER_05 9:34

Wow.

SPEAKER_09 9:36

Total Wahiti on the voice. You didn't want to do a couple of things.

SPEAKER_03 9:38

Okay, so we have a big rock guy. How tall do you would you say in feet you are, Mark L?

SPEAKER_09 9:44

Seven.

SPEAKER_03 9:44

Seven feet. That's bad. That's good. That's big, but it's not it's not gigantic. But not a giant.

SPEAKER_05 9:51

In D were rules, there's sizes, right? There are. What are the sizes?

SPEAKER_07 9:59

Venti, grande, grande. Tall.

SPEAKER_03 10:03

Medium. Tiny, small, medium, large, huge, gargantuan.

SPEAKER_05 10:09

And so what would seven feet be?

SPEAKER_03 10:11

Uh seven feet. Sorry, Ryan. Large. Oh, you're large. We are large. Large. You're large. So, okay, do you have a name? Rock guy?

SPEAKER_09 10:24

Um uh yeah, I'll be called uh Curtis Smooth. Just check in.

SPEAKER_03 10:34

Are the rocks themselves quite smooth or are they bigger? Yeah, what's what's the rock? Is it are you like a can?

SPEAKER_07 10:41

Like are you just like stacked rocks like balanced, you know?

SPEAKER_09 10:43

No, I wanna I want to be called fist. Fist. Okay. Fist.

SPEAKER_05 10:48

Fist is good. And what is it, what kind of rock is it? Just like big one. Just big rock, okay. Big chunks of it. Big chunks of rock. Great.

unknown 10:58

Great.

SPEAKER_03 10:58

So we'll come back to rock guy. That's a great so rock fist, a rock man, seven feet tall. Do you wear full clothing? I don't know why I'm asking this, or do you wear just a subido?

SPEAKER_07 11:11

So we'll get back to the thing. Yeah.

SPEAKER_09 11:14

I think I wear uh, I mean, we're a tailor, so I'll wear tailored clothing.

SPEAKER_03 11:20

So you're a big rock guy with like quite yeah, you've got good fashion. Got good fashion. Tailored clothing. Great. Mark C. Kevin, I'll jump in. Any initial thoughts about what you want to play? Anything is good. Anything is appropriate. Um, Kevin, do you have anything yet? We can't have more than one rock guy.

SPEAKER_05 11:37

I kind of want to be a gigantic boulder guy named Stand. This can't be another doggo situation. Uh I'll be, I haven't, I don't think I've no, I kind of was a wizard. Maybe I'll be a you've been a wizard who lost his memory. Yeah, I'll be a um maybe a rogue type, like a thief type.

SPEAKER_03 11:57

Okay, yeah. Because Chain was also kind of very sturdy. Yeah, he was kind of tough. Kind of a fighter guy. You know.

SPEAKER_05 12:04

Oh anyway, who gets in the cracks, you know, the cracks of rocks and sneaks around. Okay, great. Uh and I'll be called uh uh shadow. Okay, fist and shadow. That's beautiful. Okay.

SPEAKER_03 12:20

And shadow, how we talking, you little? You little guy?

SPEAKER_05 12:24

Uh yeah. I could be little.

SPEAKER_03 12:26

Four foot, three foot, two foot, one foot.

SPEAKER_05 12:30

Well, what what are the what are what what are little creatures? Could I be like a little cat? Yeah, sure.

SPEAKER_03 12:35

You could be small, which is like a gobling. Goblin. Gobling? I don't want to be a goblin.

SPEAKER_06 12:42

A gobbling.

SPEAKER_05 12:43

Yeah, he's gobbling these nuts. Oh! I'll be a no, I'll just be a human.

SPEAKER_03 12:54

You're a human. So chain was a human too. You can be anything you want in the world. I'm not I'm not pushing you, I'm not gonna be.

SPEAKER_05 13:01

Okay, I'll be a goblin. A goblin? Yeah, what's a goblin? Is it like a small goblin?

SPEAKER_03 13:05

Yeah, it's it's not quite a goblin. It's a smaller, it's well, it's a verbal mistake I just made. But ultimately, yeah, it's a smaller goblin. Okay. Gobbling.

SPEAKER_05 13:14

I'll be a goblin.

SPEAKER_07 13:16

So he's sort of like he he's sort of like he's fully an adult, but like in our children's clothing shop, we'll be like, is your kid this sized? Yes. Does he look like this? And we'll actually let him like put the clothes on him because he can't let kids play. I can be able to get it. You're really useful. Yeah, very useful for that.

SPEAKER_05 13:28

That's why I work there. But then I have my side uh adventures as the uh but remember a goblin is kind of like eh, you're kind of a monster guy. You're like this. Hi, I'm a goblin. Nice, okay.

SPEAKER_03 13:40

Perfect, perfect.

SPEAKER_04 13:42

Oh, chills.

SPEAKER_03 13:43

And your name is Shadow? Shadow. Okay. Beautiful. That's great. Kevin L.

SPEAKER_07 13:50

God, well, how does like if I were to play a wizard or something like that or a warlock or a sorcerer or something, how like do I just I'll just be like making up spells and you'll just have to do that.

SPEAKER_03 13:59

That's what we've been we've been doing. Remember the um the when we were stuck on the island uh two yeah, uh two campaigns ago, we just decided if you could make up a spell, yeah, and I'd let you cast it. But I'd still make you roll for it.

SPEAKER_06 14:14

Right, right, right.

SPEAKER_03 14:15

So we're just we're just you know, we're not we're not looking at the spell lists from the Wizards of the Coasts, you know. We're just making up our own spells, but then we still have to roll for them.

SPEAKER_07 14:23

Okay. Um yeah, I'm gonna be I think I've already been an elf. What are the some other races there? There's gonna be uh orc. Uh yeah, I'll be an orc. I'll just be an orc guy.

SPEAKER_09 14:35

Yeah, cool. Another big boy. Yeah. Another big boy, all right.

SPEAKER_05 14:38

Two big boys and a small. Two big boys and a small. Two big boys, a small, and a pizza place.

SPEAKER_07 14:44

Big orc. Um, I'm gonna be a um uh what's a dru uh like a uh like maybe a uh like a like a f uh so you want to be an orc an orc who does magic? Is that possible? Is that crazy? Of course, you can do whatever you want.

SPEAKER_03 15:06

What are the other ones?

SPEAKER_05 15:07

You could be like a cleric or a paladin or a or a bard or a druid or a druid.

SPEAKER_03 15:13

Yeah, or you could make something up, you know what I mean? You could be just a fighter guy, a magic guy.

SPEAKER_05 15:18

You should be a you should be a fantastic a phantasmo.

SPEAKER_03 15:22

All right, you could also just be like an actual magician, like a close-up magician. Yeah, I'm gonna be I'm gonna be a ghost.

SPEAKER_09 15:30

Yeah, his penis character. The prankster was gonna be a penis. Yeah, that's true. I don't want to be a penis character again.

SPEAKER_07 15:34

I've done penis characters a few times. Oh, Kevin. Humor is more than penis. Well um uh or is it? Uh I'm gonna be a ghost. I changed my mind. A ghost? When you said Phantasmus, I was like, hmm, cool. You can flip in and out. So I'm just sort of like a ghost, like a sheet kind of ghost. Like I'm not like a I don't like the shape of like an elf or whatever.

SPEAKER_03 15:57

Like I'm like a so you haunt this store.

SPEAKER_07 16:01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_09 16:03

Yeah, he was the maybe he was the original owner. Yeah. I love that.

SPEAKER_03 16:07

And you're kind of a well-meaning ghost, or are you an evil ghost? Are you a bad ghost?

SPEAKER_07 16:11

Oh. Uh well-meaning. I already did uh uh yeah, I don't want to be like uh another evil ghost who shows his penis.

SPEAKER_03 16:20

It's just part of what people come to the store. Like, it's great, the staff is great, and there's this well-meaning ghost that's pretty funny.

SPEAKER_07 16:27

Yeah, and uh, and uh as a ghost, I think I'll I'll be like bordering on wizard because I'll have like ghost powers. Ghost powers sort of wizardy.

SPEAKER_02 16:35

That's great.

SPEAKER_03 16:36

So you can also do wizard stuff. What's your name? Shadowfist. No. No that's too much for me to remember.

SPEAKER_07 16:48

Shit, okay. It's gonna be Are you an I sorry?

SPEAKER_03 16:50

Are you an orc ghost? You that that's out the window. You're just a ghost. We don't know what kind of person you or let's say I don't even remember.

SPEAKER_07 16:57

Like, I know I owned this place, but I don't remember like what race I was. Actually, maybe, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 17:01

That's fun to because we can reveal that as we go. Maybe we find maybe we find that out. But right now you're just a ghost. And you're saying a classic Sheet Ghost?

SPEAKER_09 17:09

Did you say sheet ghost?

SPEAKER_07 17:12

Uh so my my name's my name's called Sheethead. Sheethead!

SPEAKER_05 17:16

That covers your whole body, right? The sheet.

SPEAKER_07 17:18

It's a whole yeah. I have actually a separate sheet from a head and it's conical, and I'm gonna shoot it. No, no, Kevin. Um, no, my name is not gonna be sheethead. It's gonna be um uh it's gonna be uh Leslie Leslie Leslie.

SPEAKER_05 17:34

I love the name Leslie, that's great.

SPEAKER_09 17:36

Leslie, Shadow, and Fist.

SPEAKER_03 17:38

Yeah.

SPEAKER_09 17:39

Beautiful.

SPEAKER_03 17:40

Okay, anything else anyone wants to mention about their characters? Or uh what they can or can't do.

SPEAKER_09 17:46

My character has no penis.

SPEAKER_05 17:48

I have sticky fingers, like actually, and also um in the in the meaning that I always want to take things. So you your fingers are sticky.

SPEAKER_07 17:59

Like Spider-Man? Or are they like sticky like goose or like honey or something like that?

SPEAKER_05 18:03

No, like Spider-Man, like I can cling to things.

SPEAKER_07 18:06

Yeah. That's you're just be Spider-Man.

SPEAKER_05 18:09

Yeah, you're Spider-Man. I'm gonna change my character to Batman.

SPEAKER_07 18:11

Yeah, I'm now a gobbling Spider-Man.

SPEAKER_09 18:13

Okay, great. Yeah, I'd like to play Batman.

SPEAKER_07 18:15

Yeah, yeah. I'm gonna play the Hulk.

SPEAKER_01 18:18

No, that's always got like great characters doing great work, and then suddenly horrible characters.

SPEAKER_03 18:30

And DC. We have Batman. DC, yeah, sorry. Sorry. That's true. Thank you, Mark C. Um, okay, so this place is called Okay, here we are. Okay, we're in the town of New Haven, I believe. No, I think Wizardopolis. Wizardopolis. We're in Wizardopolis. Excuse me, excuse me. Wizardopolis, which is it sounds like you're gonna come to a big town, but it's actually kind of a uh a smaller sort of uh on uh on the way to a bigger place. Sort of uh what do you call the one of the a drive-through town, a pass-through town, uh a stopover town, like a place where you might get supplies or you know, to look around a little bit.

SPEAKER_05 19:07

There's like a little bit of tourism, a little bit of maybe we used to be on the river and it was great, but then they built the highway and yeah, you know what?

SPEAKER_03 19:16

Used to be on the river, and then someone dammed it.

SPEAKER_04 19:18

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_03 19:19

The river, the river it's all dried up. So we're a dying town. I think so.

SPEAKER_09 19:24

And they dammed it like in the magic way. Like they cursed it. They cursed it.

SPEAKER_05 19:29

So you're on a cursed river.

SPEAKER_03 19:30

So the river is is like is red like blood. It it it's it like it's red like blood, and it has like a red hue, and all the fish in there are just they're so mean and terrible.

SPEAKER_05 19:42

Yeah, yeah, they're mean. Water's fine worse than it is. That's just swimming. Yeah, but do you drink the water? Clay makes it look red. Do you drink the water? We have to. What else are we gonna drink? We don't get it shipped in from New Haven. That's so expensive, Ryan. Really good, Mark C. Really good. Yeah, that's really good.

SPEAKER_07 20:03

I'm a ghost, so I don't drink it.

SPEAKER_03 20:04

You don't have to drink exactly. Uh, there's a few shops there, obviously. There's a couple taverns, uh, there's uh uh uh an inn. Um and then of course there's the chasm. Cup of the there's cup of the puppa. Cup of the puppa.

SPEAKER_05 20:18

Cup of the puppa the coffee place? The cup of the doggo place. The dog cafe.

SPEAKER_04 20:22

Doggo cafe.

SPEAKER_07 20:25

It's called Cuppa de Papa. Cup of the Papa. Yeah, Cappa de Papa.

SPEAKER_04 20:28

Why can't we work at Cup of the Papa? It's doing great.

SPEAKER_07 20:31

I know that one sounds more fun than we didn't work at Cuppa de Papa. I'm gonna quit my job of work at Cup of Papa. Okay, so Batman, Spider-Man, and the Hulk work at Cuppa de Papa. Unreal! We're not doing it.

unknown 20:44

What?

SPEAKER_07 20:46

We work at Chasm Children's Okay, we're still gonna be Fist, Shadow, and Leslie, but those are our alter egos, and we really are Spider-Man, Batman, and the Hulk.

SPEAKER_03 20:55

We'll get to that. Okay. Okay. Okay. It's Chasm Children's.

SPEAKER_07 21:00

Youngling's Garb.

SPEAKER_03 21:01

Youngling's Garb. Yeah. Okay. Chasm Children's. And it's people come from different neighboring towns all the time. It's like a it's a destination to get their kids armored up and also cloaks and tunics. So it's it's actually does pretty good business. One of you is the manager. I'm gonna let you choose right now. One, two, three. Mark Little. Okay.

SPEAKER_09 21:23

Okay, but I think Kevin's still the boss. Yeah. Kevin's the boss.

SPEAKER_07 21:27

I'm like the owner who's like passed on the torch, but I'm always like, ah, you're gonna do it like that?

SPEAKER_03 21:34

Um Leslie is the owner, and Shadow is the as the trier owner of clothes.

SPEAKER_05 21:41

I just couldn't think I was I was running the place. Um, you know, so good job again. Really good. Really well.

SPEAKER_09 21:46

Yeah, I think Shadows, Shadows uh deals with the customers a lot. Yeah, well, I guess they both do.

SPEAKER_03 21:51

Let's see a nice opening shift. You all show up to you know unlock the doors and get the bars off the windows and open. Open up chasms children.

SPEAKER_05 22:03

I don't do I come in through a chimney and I crawl through uh like a vent and I come through sneakily through the side of the building when I when I enter.

SPEAKER_07 22:14

And when you stand up, you notice that I I was fall uh my head was actually inside your body when you stood up and I'm like, hello. Morning.

SPEAKER_05 22:22

Hello, fist. I mean, I mean Leslie.

SPEAKER_07 22:28

Are you okay, Shadow? What the hell? Are you drunk, Shadow?

SPEAKER_05 22:32

I'm drunk. Are you drunk?

SPEAKER_01 22:34

Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_09 22:36

But That's not okay.

SPEAKER_01 22:38

I it it'll wear off. It's from last night and this morning. Wait, alcohol wears off? Shut up. It does.

SPEAKER_07 22:46

No, I know. Big sarcastic.

SPEAKER_09 22:50

So I'm clean, I'm cleaning up the place. I'm uh putting things in order. Fist is sorting, he's hanging things up. Nice.

SPEAKER_07 22:58

I'm doing a crossword.

SPEAKER_05 22:59

And I'm still working on my voice. But what did you say, Remy?

SPEAKER_03 23:01

It's more like Well, I'm just I just want to remind you that the gob goblings are monster guys. So I don't know if you want to include a little bit of that like fang sound or that you know. We'll see. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 23:14

You know, I'll keep trying new things. It's up to you.

SPEAKER_01 23:23

What are you doing? I'm trying voices. Okay.

SPEAKER_03 23:27

Is the place open?

SPEAKER_01 23:29

No. I haven't opened the door yet. I'll go open the door. I just sound like Sally Struthers. That's good. Just open the door. I love this guy. Okay.

SPEAKER_09 23:42

We're open for business. Oh my god. Cappa de Papa was absolutely rocking and rollin' this morning. Oh, I just. On my way over here, I brought you guys some coffees.

SPEAKER_01 23:53

Oh, thank you so much. Oh, thank you.

SPEAKER_07 23:56

That's I just like the steam. That's my that's ghost coffee.

SPEAKER_09 24:01

Yeah, Leslie, I know you can't drink it, but I know you like the steam.

SPEAKER_07 24:05

I love the steam.

SPEAKER_01 24:06

Cup of Papa offers spa treatments where you can just sit in the steam. Do you ever do that, Leslie, over there? Yes! I talk like yes! You're so scary. Thank you.

SPEAKER_09 24:20

Guys, you know. So I printed out the new flyers.

SPEAKER_05 24:24

Printed out at the printers? Yeah, it can be pretty good.

SPEAKER_09 24:28

I'm sorry, I got the yeah. Printing press.

SPEAKER_05 24:30

Printing press. I got 'em.

SPEAKER_09 24:32

I got 'em printed down the street. And uh I think you could say that I made a mistake.

SPEAKER_05 24:40

Let me read it here. Come to Chasm Children. What is it? Apparel for kids? What is armor for Youngling's Garb. Come to Chasm Children, Youngling's Garb.

SPEAKER_07 24:53

Shadow can't read.

SPEAKER_05 24:54

Big big sale today. All armor. 100% off. I added a zero by accident. It's supposed to be ten.

SPEAKER_07 25:06

Oh I know. It was supposed to be one percent off. Zero zero one. You did it back.

SPEAKER_09 25:13

Oh, Leslie, we talked about this. It was gonna be ten percent off to bring in customers because of that new uh children's garb store that just opened up in New Haven. We're still gonna get customers. Close the Papa.

SPEAKER_07 25:28

What? Close of the Papa.

SPEAKER_05 25:30

Yeah, yeah. It's a doggo run garb store for kids, and it just has too much going for it.

SPEAKER_09 25:38

Too much going for it. Oh, I'm such an idiot. If we get customers today, they're gonna expect 100% off. I'm such a freaking idiot.

SPEAKER_05 25:43

No, we just don't hang the flyers up anywhere. Yeah, it didn't fit this.

SPEAKER_09 25:49

I handed them out at the college.

SPEAKER_07 25:51

The college!

unknown 25:53

Oh no.

SPEAKER_07 25:54

They're so broken, they're all having children right now.

SPEAKER_03 25:57

And then suddenly a knight bursts through the door. Oh.

SPEAKER_02 26:01

And he whips out a scroll and says, Presenting his Royal Highness, Prince Augustus, Edmund Archibald Montfort III, Duke of Blackmere, Earl of Fox Hollow, keeper of the Eastern Marches, Defender of the Sapphire Coast, Warden of the King's Roads, and protector of the Seven Rivers, and the heir apparent to the throne of Albion.

SPEAKER_03 26:27

And he whips open the door, and a little princeling comes in with kind of a bowl cut and he goes, like, I need a new suit of armor, and you guys are gonna give it to me now.

SPEAKER_05 26:39

Do you think he knows about the what 100% off liar?

SPEAKER_09 26:43

I don't think it matters either way. You don't charge a prince.

SPEAKER_05 26:47

You don't charge a prince? Well, how do we make any money for this store?

SPEAKER_11 26:50

Oh excuse me, excuse me!

SPEAKER_05 26:53

Hello, your highness. Welcome to uh to Chasm Children. Um what kind of color of armor are you looking for? Probably purple.

SPEAKER_10 27:03

Come here. Come here.

unknown 27:04

What?

SPEAKER_10 27:06

Ow!

SPEAKER_05 27:07

What the hell?

SPEAKER_10 27:08

Metal! I want the color of metal!

unknown 27:13

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_09 27:14

Okay. One second, Your Highness. Guys, I'm gonna fucking go crazy. I'm gonna fucking hit him. Calm down, Fist.

SPEAKER_05 27:22

You have to go into the room, you're gonna rock out. That's what you call it, right?

SPEAKER_09 27:27

I'm gonna burst out of my clothes and go fucking bananas on the sky. Wait, what does that mean?

SPEAKER_05 27:32

Burst and go bananas. His rocks explode out of his clothes.

SPEAKER_11 27:37

Excuse me, little one, little one, little worker.

SPEAKER_05 27:40

Have a name.

SPEAKER_11 27:41

Oh, really? Is it this? Ow.

SPEAKER_09 27:44

What the fuck? Guys, man. Meet up. Guys, regroup, regroup. Group up for a second. I'm gonna go fucking crazy. I'm gonna destroy this guy.

SPEAKER_07 27:54

We're all gonna go crazy. I'm gonna go crazy.

SPEAKER_03 27:59

His armor like you know makes a lot of noise.

SPEAKER_02 28:01

The Prince Augustus requires a new armor.

SPEAKER_03 28:03

Puss hate. He's going to a royal wedding downriver, and he needs it today. Not yesterday, not the day before, but today.

SPEAKER_07 28:14

Oh wait, wait, excuse me. Could you go over that again? When does he need it?

SPEAKER_03 28:19

Are you being smart with me, ghost?

SPEAKER_07 28:23

No, I'm being ghost with you smart. He tried and punched me and goes through my body. Oh and the slimes for free.

SPEAKER_05 28:34

Catch more flies with honey? Please would go a long way. Excuse me. Nothing. Excuse me.

SPEAKER_00 28:41

See, that's polite.

SPEAKER_05 28:43

Can I s can I steal his uh I'm gonna roll if I could steal uh a dagger off of his or whatever, like small.

SPEAKER_03 28:49

Okay, because you're a small little guy. Yeah. But you are talking to him directly, so you want to try to pickpocket him while you're talking to him directly.

SPEAKER_05 28:54

Yeah, like so I'm talking to him and I'm gonna try to pickpocket.

SPEAKER_03 28:57

Okay, it's gonna be a bit of a harder roll, but also you're uh you're you're you're that's it that's who you are. So gonna make it medium. Go for it. Okay, here we go. Rolling. 18. Oh yeah, you'd take a knife. Tell me, uh, talk me through it. Talk me through the banter and the battery as you feel it.

SPEAKER_05 29:14

I see. Well, what time is the wedding? Let's figure this out. And I think half past noon uh tomorrow evening. My little foot is reaching into his into his pocket and I'm like, oh so and are you looking for uh uh just waving my hands right in his face. And what size is he? About my size? Yeah, he looks like he's about to.

SPEAKER_03 29:33

He's about your size almost exactly. He's quite small in infection.

SPEAKER_05 29:37

Full helmet, full helmet or not?

SPEAKER_07 29:38

Full helmet eyes.

SPEAKER_03 29:39

Yes, it was some kind of ornate.

SPEAKER_07 29:41

While you're doing that, I'm off to the side and I'm like pretend I'm like pretending to grab the sword of my hands going through it like through the knife. I'm like, oh, wait, what's this? Huh? No, you can't see that.

SPEAKER_05 29:51

No, it's okay. And is the knife it's like a is it an expensive ornate knife or what what kind of diagonal is?

SPEAKER_03 29:57

It's a beautiful knife. It's about the size of your full arm. Okay. So for you it's like a little sword. Okay. I mean, it's got uh it's got an inscription in it that you can't read.

SPEAKER_05 30:06

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 30:06

Not because you can't read, but you can't read what the language is.

SPEAKER_05 30:09

Right. Okay, I'm gonna find it.

SPEAKER_03 30:11

Can you read?

SPEAKER_05 30:11

Can you read? Shadow? I can I yeah, I can read. I run it. You read, you can read, you can read things. You can read things. You just can't read this. But I'm gonna I'm gonna uh stow it, obviously, but I'm gonna take some time later. I'm gonna look at it, and then I'm gonna find out what's written on it, and then it's gonna be my sword.

SPEAKER_02 30:27

Sir Sir Hubert, what's the holdup? I want armor on me now.

SPEAKER_09 30:33

Oh guys, regroup for a second. I'm gonna go fucking nuts.

SPEAKER_07 30:38

Okay, okay.

SPEAKER_09 30:38

I'm gonna lose my mind.

SPEAKER_07 30:40

Fist, relax. Okay, relax here. You do some of my crossword for me. I'll I'll handle the prince. No, Fist.

SPEAKER_09 30:45

Okay, five uh letter word for uh Prince. Prince. Oh, Prince. It just reminded me of that prince over there. I'm gonna go fucking nuts.

SPEAKER_04 30:58

Go crazy.

SPEAKER_05 31:00

You have to chill. Look, if we can outfit this prince and he goes to a wedding with our best garb, think of the business that we'll pull in, and they'll all get a hundred percent off. So we won't make any money.

SPEAKER_07 31:14

Well, wait, we can uh we can rename our store, and then that way the flyers don't apply.

SPEAKER_05 31:20

That's a great idea. That's smart.

SPEAKER_07 31:23

Yes, thank you. Yes, it's just one of the things I know as being an owner of a shop before I died.

SPEAKER_09 31:29

All right, uh, your majesty.

SPEAKER_07 31:34

Already just talking to him? Yes.

SPEAKER_09 31:37

We'll uh we will prepare your armor, we'll have it done by the end of today.

SPEAKER_02 31:41

Don't you want to take a measurement of me, you idiot rock mountain man?

SPEAKER_05 31:45

He wasn't done. Of course, we're gonna take a measurement.

SPEAKER_09 31:48

Yes, I'll just consult with my friends here for a moment. I'm gonna fucking go crazy. I don't blame you. I'm gonna lose.

SPEAKER_05 31:55

I don't blame you, and I kind of think you should.

SPEAKER_09 31:57

I kind of think you should, but we gotta tamp down. I'm a manager. I'm a fucking manager. I'm gonna go measure him. Damn it. Okay, Prince. Fucking manager. Prince.

SPEAKER_05 32:06

Upon this three-mirrored plinth over here. Finally.

SPEAKER_02 32:10

Finally, you think idiots are doing a job.

SPEAKER_05 32:13

Oh my god. Okay.

SPEAKER_09 32:15

I'm going out back to have a cigarette. You guys measure him. Oh, I'm gonna fucking snap.

SPEAKER_05 32:19

I put the uh I put the uh the measurement around his neck to get his neck. Get away from me!

SPEAKER_11 32:24

Idiot!

SPEAKER_05 32:25

I have to measure you or else you're gonna have an ill feeling.

SPEAKER_07 32:30

I got Wow, wait a minute. You guys are almost exactly the same size and shape.

SPEAKER_05 32:36

Yeah, so what of it?

SPEAKER_07 32:38

So we'll just measure you, f fit shadow.

SPEAKER_05 32:41

Well, I know my measurements by heart.

SPEAKER_07 32:43

Exactly. So you don't have to touch the prince or measure him. You could just use your body.

SPEAKER_05 32:47

Okay, Prince, you're free to go. Okay, your body's gross. What? Jeez.

SPEAKER_09 32:54

I'm outside, but I'm outside, but I hear that. Oh, I'm gonna go cr fucking crazy. Stomp, stomp, stomp. Can we follow me outside for my cigarette? Absolutely.

SPEAKER_03 33:04

And it's also like across the alley you can see what's the name of the dog, the dog cafe? Cup of goddamn.

SPEAKER_05 33:12

It's huge. Lots better. Bedwam. Yeah. Spider-Man jumps out of cup of the puppa and he comes up to fist. Hey Spider-Man. Hey, what's up, Fist? How you doing?

SPEAKER_04 33:23

Okay, how you doing, Lucky?

SPEAKER_03 33:25

I want this conversation to happen. But it can't be just the Marvel Spider-Man. He's a fantasy version of Spider-Man, so he's a fantasy version.

SPEAKER_05 33:35

He's either literally Spider-Man or he's someone who climbs chimneys or something. His outfit is a little bit more old-timey, so it's like you can think of it as like it's like more leather, you know, but he still has the holes in his eyes, and he's like, So he's a vigilante guy. Yeah, and instead of shooting webs out of his hands, he has uh he has a series of like ropes and pulleys that he throws. Oh okay.

SPEAKER_03 33:59

So continue with the conversation.

SPEAKER_05 34:00

Finally, sort of a steampunk spider man. Exactly. I'm sure it exists, it absolutely exists in the comic world. People have been waiting for this. Yeah.

SPEAKER_08 34:07

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_05 34:07

Hey, what's up, Rocky? And Spider-Man always has like nicknames for all the people, so so he calls him Rocky. Hey Rocky, how you doing, man? Oh, not so good.

SPEAKER_09 34:15

The freaking prince is in there. Oh, man. Ordering a suit. And I should say, ordering yeah, he should be ordering a suit. Instead, he's ordering us around. Oh that prince. And I don't mean ale at the tavern.

SPEAKER_05 34:28

I didn't think that's what you meant.

SPEAKER_09 34:31

How things go in a cup of pubba? It seems like your business is going freaking nuts today.

SPEAKER_05 34:35

Too much, too much business. Batman, I stepped up. Batman's running the place right now, and so is the thing. The halter man. The halter man. Spider-Man, hurry up, we're getting slammed in here. I'll be right there, Batman. Okay. Alright, I gotta go. Business is is hard. Hey, but I brought you another little latte because I saw you standing out here.

SPEAKER_03 34:53

Uh Spider-Man. I want you to roll, and I'm gonna uh depending on how you roll, you're gonna give a piece of advice to uh fists. Okay. And he's gonna take down. Oh, that's awesome. Here's my roll. Four. Four. You give him really bad advice. Okay. Really bad advice.

SPEAKER_05 35:09

Let me tell you something that worked for me. These guys, they need to be taken down a peg. Okay? So if this guy's bothering you, clap back with a fist, slap him, give him a slap. Just one. You don't want to hurt him, too bad, but give him a slap on his face. Just like that. Alright? Classic Spider-Man advocating slapping a child. Are you sure? Yeah. Off I go. Wait, wait, wait. Spider-Man? I want you to roll again to see if you're sure. Okay. Here's the moral. It is a 20. Natural 20. Yeah, you're super shy. Like you told me. Possibly. This has worked every time in my life. It's a little jarring. Little, you know, but of course, I'm Spider-Man.

SPEAKER_09 35:48

So Yeah. Alright, thanks, man.

SPEAKER_07 35:51

And thanks for the latte. And meanwhile, inside, uh, the ghost the ghost uh Leslie, I want to try and possess the prince. Okay.

SPEAKER_05 36:00

Can Leslie's last name be Pazzzi?

SPEAKER_07 36:03

Leslie Pazeszi.

SPEAKER_05 36:04

That's a Kevin question. Leslie Pazeszi, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 36:07

Do you like it to be Leslie Pazeszi?

SPEAKER_07 36:09

Yeah. And I'm Italian. Ow! An Italian ghost. That's what all Italian people sound like.

SPEAKER_03 36:14

We don't mind. So you're gonna try to possess the prince. It's gonna be I'm gonna make it pretty hard.

SPEAKER_04 36:20

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 36:21

Uh, but you're able to try. Uh because um the reason why I make it hard is because it just seems like you would take control of the story right away.

SPEAKER_07 36:33

Let's try and make them nicer.

SPEAKER_03 36:35

I know, I totally know what you're up to, and I think it's a great idea. I just gonna see. I'm gonna make it 15 to 20, okay? Okay, here we go. And that's uh I think that's fair. Okay, here we go.

SPEAKER_07 36:45

Three, two, one. Natural one! Oh, nice. Fuck, okay. Well, basically, I I I what happens? How do I how bad?

SPEAKER_03 36:55

I think you should tell me what happened because that's hilarious. So it like not only because it's a failure in a spectacular way. So you try to uh but I want you to.

SPEAKER_07 37:04

So I try I try and possess him, but uh what actually happens is his spirit uh infects mine. So I become a little bit of a dick for a little while. Like it has to wear off. It's sort of like getting drunk. So now I'm like, hey, you little piece of shit. That's what I want.

SPEAKER_03 37:15

So that's canon now. Whenever you fail that spectacularly trying to possess someone, you take on their bad habits, yeah, and it's like you're drunk for about an hour or so. So you're you're a bit of a dick for an hour.

SPEAKER_06 37:26

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 37:27

And like I'm going for kind of a Joffrey level like piece of shit. You know. It's okay to hit him. Right. He's like 15, you know?

SPEAKER_09 37:37

Alright, so I storm back inside. And is is uh is the prince still there or have they?

SPEAKER_12 37:42

Augustus is there and he's just like, I'm waiting. Yeah, he's waiting.

SPEAKER_05 37:48

Whoa, whoa. Hurry up, you little bitches. He's a fucking prince. Leslie. Sounds like you're making fun of him or you're serious? Huh? What? What the hell's wrong with you?

SPEAKER_03 37:59

I'm at the inn around the corner. When you're ready for me to come try on some actual armor, fucking come find me, you little fucking idiots.

SPEAKER_07 38:06

Yeah. Find him and fucking gargle his nuts, you little bitch.

SPEAKER_09 38:10

I am just waiting for fist. Alright, so I'm now I'm storming in and I just miss him. Oh. He storms out. Ding-a-ling-a ling-a ling-a ling-a ling. Oh man, I'm so glad. Oh, it was finally ready to let him have it. Oh, God, I got some good advice from Spider-Man.

SPEAKER_05 38:25

What'd he say?

SPEAKER_09 38:26

He said, let him have it.

SPEAKER_05 38:28

That Spider-Man. He always has good advice.

SPEAKER_07 38:31

Yeah. Yeah. Great advice. Like, oh, put that pulley uh freaking in your shut up.

SPEAKER_09 38:39

What did Leslie get possessed by someone?

SPEAKER_05 38:42

Leslie did a spectacular failure of trying to possess the prince, it looks like.

SPEAKER_07 38:47

Oh my god, I'd like to see you try. You try and possess anything other than other than those crappy little bodies you got.

SPEAKER_09 38:54

Leslie, easy. Alright, guys, we got a couple things on the table. Yeah. We gotta find a new name for this place before we get overrun by customers who are gonna suck us dry. That's true. We gotta make armor for that little fucker.

SPEAKER_05 39:11

We need to gather some materials. You gotta answer a question of mine. What's that?

SPEAKER_09 39:16

Where the hell did you get that dagger?

SPEAKER_05 39:22

I took it off his big royal guard. Look at it. I have some interesting writing on it. What do you think that says?

SPEAKER_07 39:29

Shut up and make me a coffee. Get me a latte, you little little pipy.

SPEAKER_05 39:35

Can you go go ahead? Do you think do you think the the the wizard next door the wizard next door will be able to read this?

SPEAKER_09 39:45

Uh yeah. Let's go ask him.

SPEAKER_05 39:47

Okay. All right.

SPEAKER_09 39:48

Seems pretty convenient. Let's do that. Leslie, shut the fuck up. Can I talk to you just for a second, Shadow? Yeah. I'm gonna fucking hit him.

SPEAKER_01 39:57

You can you'll go right through him.

SPEAKER_07 40:01

Is there something that is there something that you guys know? Like, because ostensibly we've worked together before, so you'd know that like this could happen to me if I like suddenly changed. Like, is there a way to like like a black cup of coffee or whatever? Like trying to get me sober.

SPEAKER_09 40:15

You go you go do what you gotta do with that dagger. I'm gonna take Leslie Pazeszi to uh Cup of Papa to freaking help him dry out. Okay. And while you're at it, collect think start thinking about that metal.

SPEAKER_05 40:32

Yo, I'm gonna go I'll go get some uh some of the metal for the armor too.

SPEAKER_03 40:36

So you have a lot on the table here. You have to figure out a new new name. You have to figure out what's on this knife, and you're gonna you're gonna clothe or armor this prince who's going to a royal wedding tomorrow. Okay, so who do we want to what do we want to follow first?

SPEAKER_09 40:53

Let's follow uh Shadow with the knife on his way to find some uh metal.

SPEAKER_05 40:58

Okay, so first on the way, there's like this like wizardry. What would it be? But it's a guy, there's a s there's a wizard who like runs a shop. A wizard kiosk. It's a wizard kiosk, and he he he's very smart. Like he probably he's you know he's worldly, so he might be able to read this.

SPEAKER_04 41:13

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 41:19

He does a bunch of things.

SPEAKER_08 41:20

He does massages, he cuts keys, one's keys, massage massage. One's keys, massage.

SPEAKER_05 41:30

Oh calfrangulon. How are you? Good. Okay. I have a I found this um dagger and it has some interesting writing on it. I was wondering if you could read this word.

SPEAKER_08 41:46

Oh, this word spells doom.

SPEAKER_05 41:49

Literally, it spells doom?

SPEAKER_08 41:52

Uh yeah.

SPEAKER_05 41:54

It just says doom.

SPEAKER_09 41:56

This word is doom. What's the language? Ancient. Ancient wizard speak. A a language so old I can only make out this one word.

SPEAKER_05 42:09

There's other words on it.

SPEAKER_09 42:11

Yes. Many words. Perhaps a spell, a spell to unleash the power of this dagger. I don't know. I'll be honest.

SPEAKER_08 42:21

If I was versed in the ancient wizard speak, I would not be working a kiosk in the middle of Wizardopolis, offering one's massage.

SPEAKER_09 42:32

And the third one. Keys. Keys. Keys.

SPEAKER_05 42:36

Okay, uh, well, thank you. Um Do you have any leads on maybe who I could talk to that could find out the words of this spell that could unleash the power of this dagger?

SPEAKER_08 42:45

Go to the ancients in Wizard Mountain, deep within the mountain on the outskirts of Wizardopolis, the mountain for which this town received its name. Therein you shall find a kiosk offering one's massage and keys.

SPEAKER_03 43:06

In this world, wizards work in kiosks.

SPEAKER_09 43:10

But if you go beyond the kiosk, but and but deeper in the mountain still, you might uh you will find uh one wizard who does not wish to be visited.

SPEAKER_05 43:24

And he will help me or she. He figured.

SPEAKER_08 43:36

He might if he deems you worthy. All right. Let me ask you a question now. Oh, sure. Feeling tense?

SPEAKER_05 43:47

Yeah. I just don't have time. I don't have time. I'm sorry. Massage. I'll come back. Oh, you don't have time? I d I'm so sorry.

SPEAKER_09 43:54

You don't have time? I I'm on my way we have to That's so interesting because I had time to help you.

SPEAKER_05 44:00

How much is it? What's that?

SPEAKER_08 44:03

One one gold.

SPEAKER_05 44:06

Okay. Okay, I'll get a one gold massage.

SPEAKER_08 44:09

Okay, I'll get in there.

SPEAKER_03 44:11

Okay, we quickly cut to the inn where the prince and his knight bodyguard is uh are staying. And the prince is like he's uh he's he's got he's on the um the bed with his little feet up, he's like this and his feet are dangling.

SPEAKER_11 44:24

He's like Show me again the ancient knife we're giving as the wedding present to the to the two to the two stupid Duke and lady who are getting married.

SPEAKER_00 44:35

Well, yes, of course. My leash I um I will just uh show me now!

SPEAKER_11 44:41

I want to see it!

SPEAKER_00 44:42

Uh yes, I uh um There's a knock on the door.

SPEAKER_05 44:47

Yes We have your your room service out here.

SPEAKER_00 44:52

Oh, yes, of course. Uh uh young princeling, uh please eat these two eggs and granola. And I shall uh uh just uh be right back. I think uh the horses need to be tied up uh faster. There you go, young princeling. There's your eggs and granola.

SPEAKER_03 45:07

And he storms back towards the uh the the the store. Okay. Scary.

SPEAKER_07 45:13

And the store has back in fifteen on it because we're not.

SPEAKER_09 45:16

Yeah, yes. We see him, we see a wide shot of him storming, going and muttering to himself, Ryan. Yeah. I think I'm gonna get that knife.

SPEAKER_10 45:29

In a crowd of bustling wizards.

SPEAKER_05 45:31

Get out of my way, I'm gonna get that knife. So like so we follow him, but then we also see in the in the same shot, but it's cup of the puppa.

SPEAKER_07 45:39

Yeah, we see cup of the separated by the the river of uh of of uh you know wizard hats going. So what else do we need to see?

SPEAKER_05 45:46

This is happening. We're gonna go see uh Fist and uh and Leslie at Cupita Papa getting uh sobering up uh Leslie.

SPEAKER_09 45:53

Yeah, could I get one uh black coffee to sober this guy up?

SPEAKER_05 45:59

Hey, what's up? How did that advice I gave you go, man?

SPEAKER_09 46:03

I'm sorry. I haven't got to implement it yet, it's Spider-Man, but thank you again for taking the time. Anytime, buddy.

SPEAKER_06 46:09

Oh, clink lunch.

SPEAKER_02 46:11

And Green Launter Green Lantern foams it.

SPEAKER_05 46:15

Green lantern. There you go. There's your black coffee. Thanks, guys. Yeah, no problem. Hey, Batman. Batman, I need to I need you to I need you to uh uh get me two uh mistos on the double.

SPEAKER_06 46:29

Uh of course I'll get you a couple of mistos. It's not about how many times you fall down, but how many times you uh uh in the storeroom, but how many times you get up uh in the storeroom and put all the cups back anyway.

SPEAKER_05 46:44

Did you knock over the cups in the storeroom again?

SPEAKER_08 46:47

I've been grinding the beans.

SPEAKER_06 46:49

Oh, it's pain? Yes, I got him a little job. He's he begged me for it. You guys are friends?

SPEAKER_08 46:55

I grind the beans.

SPEAKER_06 46:57

Yes, pain. We know yes, grind the beans okay.

SPEAKER_08 47:00

I was born in the beans!

SPEAKER_06 47:02

You're born in the beans.

SPEAKER_08 47:04

Grand by the beans!

SPEAKER_05 47:07

Meanwhile, there's a bunch of puppies around, too. Yeah, there's also dogs.

SPEAKER_09 47:12

It's a lot going on.

SPEAKER_03 47:14

So you take your coffees back to your table.

SPEAKER_07 47:17

This is oh, thanks for the coffee. I wanted a lot and a climate. Drink it! Drink it! It like pours through my like empty body. All right. I gotta scroll here.

SPEAKER_09 47:29

We're gonna brainstorm some new names for the place. I mean, it's your place, so we gotta come up with something good.

SPEAKER_07 47:35

Thanks for that cup of coffee. Now that's canon. As soon as I drink a cup of black coffee, I'm sober. Exactly. Like when you're drunk.

SPEAKER_09 47:40

I think that's great. That's great. Should we roll to see how good Kevin's ideas are?

SPEAKER_03 47:44

Yeah, we'll do it. We need more rolls. I love that. So yeah, go for it.

SPEAKER_07 47:49

I rolled a six. So they're gonna be pretty bad.

SPEAKER_03 47:53

Not the worst, but they're gonna be like below average, you know? Okay, yeah.

SPEAKER_07 47:58

Um, nude kid no more.

unknown 48:02

I don't know.

SPEAKER_09 48:03

I'm gonna skip that one. No wrong ideas, but I'm gonna skip that one.

SPEAKER_03 48:07

Okay, so because you rolled a six, you have to do six.

SPEAKER_07 48:09

Oh shit. Uh sorry, nude kid no more.

SPEAKER_05 48:12

Um, how about uh how about uh if you rolled a 20, would he have to do 20 excellent ideas?

SPEAKER_07 48:20

They'd have to be all top tier. Uh madmen John Hamm thing. Um so the other one is uh little tops, little bottoms, little dreams, little cotton. Let's uh let's keep it tighter. Let's keep it shorter. Okay, um, how about um how about mummy? Close for me.

SPEAKER_01 48:41

Excuse me. Huh? Is this seat taken? Can I take this chair to my table?

SPEAKER_07 48:45

Yes, I'm sitting in it.

SPEAKER_01 48:46

I'm hovering over it. Oh no, I'm so sorry. Yes.

SPEAKER_09 48:49

So sorry. Yes, please have a have a seat. You're taking up two seats, Leslie. Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 48:57

Oh, I can't lie down. Okay. I I I pull myself.

SPEAKER_05 49:02

I take the chair and I move it to my table next next to you. Sorry, I just interrupted. Go keep going. No, no, that's who was that?

SPEAKER_09 49:08

Oh my god. No, wait, I do know who that is. That's that's uh that that was that don't you know who that was?

SPEAKER_06 49:15

This loves MILFs.

SPEAKER_09 49:16

Uh that was that was uh that was uh Milf Milfania.

SPEAKER_07 49:20

Yes, you love Milfania. Did you say my name's eligible?

SPEAKER_09 49:24

No, I'm so sorry. I was uh I well I yes, I I don't know if you remember me, but we were in school together.

SPEAKER_05 49:32

I don't oh, were you the rock guy that was in my school? I think I do.

SPEAKER_09 49:36

I do Yeah I was the only rock guy.

SPEAKER_05 49:38

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_09 49:39

Yeah, I was sort of the only rock guy.

SPEAKER_05 49:41

Yeah. I do remember you, yeah. What's your uh uh fist?

SPEAKER_09 49:47

I go by fist.

SPEAKER_05 49:48

Fist, okay. I'm Milfania, but I guess you're you knew you were uh homecoming queen.

SPEAKER_09 49:54

I I uh I voted for you.

SPEAKER_05 49:57

Oh, thank you. That's that's so nice that you remembered.

SPEAKER_07 50:00

Uh oh, are you single right now, Milfania? Oh, take it easy. I'm just asking. I'm just asking. Sorry, just a little bit of a curious ghost.

SPEAKER_05 50:09

I am, unfortunately. I um I recently lost my partner.

SPEAKER_07 50:14

Oh gosh.

SPEAKER_05 50:15

Yeah, in a uh in a in a wizard crowd. No, he died. Oh yeah, he was Oh, I'm so sorry.

SPEAKER_07 50:21

Well, hey, there are worse fates if you know the worst fates, if you know what I mean.

SPEAKER_05 50:24

Well, maybe you can find him, actually. Are you connected to the other world or are you just a ghost of this plane?

SPEAKER_07 50:30

I am, but I'm really just into fashion and owning a store.

SPEAKER_09 50:33

Oh, I can I can find your uh I mean uh listen, sometimes we do little side quests. I could uh I don't want to toot my own horn, but uh I could uh potentially uh find your uh he's been taking a little horn lesson.

SPEAKER_05 50:47

I just need to communicate with him one last time and just tell him one thing, and I think that'll help close the book on that, and then I'll be ready for something.

SPEAKER_09 50:53

Oh, I miss uh I misunderstood. He is dead, but you want to find him in the afterlife and communicate with him. Oh, that rocks!

SPEAKER_07 50:59

Yeah, I like that I go I go fist-fist. Let's just have a quick a little a little sidebar here. A little a little sidebar here. Are you sure you want me to go find her her uh ex-dead husband? It's possible that she'll just want to, you know, bang his brains out one last time and he'll never measure up. That's a good point. Uh ghosts are really good at sex. Like once you become a ghost, you actually learn like what it is, like what it really is, and then you like really know how to do it.

SPEAKER_09 51:26

Oh okay. Listen. I'm gonna I'm gonna change the subject and I'm gonna flirt with her. I'm gonna roll to flirt. Good idea. Yeah, good idea. Good, yeah. What do I need?

SPEAKER_03 51:39

Well, just tell me what you roll and I'll tell you how it rolls.

SPEAKER_09 51:42

I roll uh an 11.

SPEAKER_03 51:43

Okay, so you know what? Like, it's fine.

SPEAKER_09 51:46

Okay. Listen, uh, we uh we'll we'll do some digging for your husband, but uh uh uh in the meantime, I'd love to dig you a hole and lay out a picnic inside it in the quarry. I like to have picnics in the quarry sometimes as a rock man, and I'd love to dig a hole and put you in it. Put us both in it and a picnic blanket on down at the bottom of it, and it's sort of a murder suicide situation. I'm so sorry. I'm a little bit clumsy with my words.

SPEAKER_03 52:24

Milphania? Could you roll to see how you receive that? Yes, I'll roll to see how I receive it.

SPEAKER_05 52:30

17. You love it. Okay You know what? I would love that. I would love to go to a quarry and see something. Describe why you love the quarry though, a little bit like that. Well, I love I love that you You know what? I I love that you're not afraid of who you are. And I don't I just don't think there's enough of that in this world. And you just you tell me exactly what you want, and that sounds fun. What an adventure. I'd love to go to a quarry and dig a hole and have a picnic blanket over us while we eat, I think I understand. Fist? You roll how you receive that.

SPEAKER_09 53:02

Okay, you're gonna roll how I received that. 19. You love it, you love it. Wow. May I just say I love how you received that. And I'm receiving you. Can I roll to see how I receive that? Yes.

SPEAKER_07 53:18

Can I can I roll to see what I'm how I'm receiving any of the things? You roll first seven.

SPEAKER_03 53:21

You roll first. Yes.

SPEAKER_07 53:22

Okay, I rolled a four.

SPEAKER_03 53:23

You don't like it at all. Yeah, in fact, you think something's up here with Milfania. That's how like you're like, you don't trust her.

SPEAKER_07 53:31

Hmm. I don't trust her. Uh fist, fist. Uh just keep I know you're really getting carried away here, but just keep an eye out. I think something's up with Milfania.

SPEAKER_09 53:40

Shut the fuck up!

SPEAKER_07 53:42

Okay, God! It's such a dry spell.

SPEAKER_05 53:46

Tomorrow? Or today?

SPEAKER_09 53:48

No time like the present.

SPEAKER_07 53:49

We have to get an armor ready for the prince and change our name.

SPEAKER_09 53:52

You fucking do it. I got into a hot day with Melfania.

SPEAKER_07 53:56

God damn it, fine. All my ideas for the names are so good anyway.

SPEAKER_05 54:00

Okay, well, why don't you pick me up in two hours and we'll go to the quarry?

SPEAKER_09 54:04

I'd love that. Thank thank you. I will.

SPEAKER_05 54:06

Okay.

SPEAKER_09 54:07

Amazing. See you. I'll see you then. Okay. I guess we're leaving. Okay. We're leaving.

SPEAKER_03 54:11

Can we all can we all all the workers like make the way back to the store? Can I go get metal first?

SPEAKER_07 54:18

Well, let's say you've got it. Or do you want to go get it?

SPEAKER_03 54:20

You you had what kind of you had to get metal for the armor. Yeah, but I mean, you know, it's a place I probably go all the time. You were in the mall or whatever. But as you walk in, the place has been torn to shreds. Oh. It's like a burglary slash, you know, like FBI agents slash like, you know, bad guys have come in here, kicked everything over. The place is torn apart. I'm gonna say, can I say a line that I'm saying as I enter?

SPEAKER_09 54:46

Yes. Oh my gosh, this is the greatest day of my ding-aling. Live.

SPEAKER_05 54:54

What the hell? And I hear I hear that him say hell, and I'm like from far away. What? And I come, what's going on? What happened? Did you go bananas fest and do this?

SPEAKER_07 55:07

I'm swooshing in the round of the room like our mannequins, our bolts of fabric, uh, this little table I bought uh when I went to when I went to Chunk Choncoville.

SPEAKER_03 55:17

And then from behind a dress form, the knight protecting Prince Augusta comes out and goes, Where is it?

SPEAKER_07 55:23

And I go, Wow, that knight has such a curvaceous body, he was perfectly hidden behind that dress form. Yeah, so he's quite curvaceous child.

SPEAKER_03 55:30

He looks great. Nice hips. He's got great hips. Where is it? And he unsheathes his huge sword.

SPEAKER_09 55:38

And I bulk up and I go, What are you talking about? A knife.

SPEAKER_03 55:46

A knife with a strange writing on it. It's a wedding present, and that's all I'm willing to say. And he goes like this. You know, like when I go like this? Sort of like uh for our audio listeners only. So he so he goes like over the shoulder, pointing the blade uh towards uh his adversaries and he says Tell me now, give it here, and no one dies.

SPEAKER_07 56:10

I say you better hope that Shadow got it, because that sword's not gonna work on Fist or me.

SPEAKER_06 56:15

Sorry, who's this ghost? I'm a ghost! Okay, yeah.

SPEAKER_07 56:19

Well, doesn't uh okay And Fist is made of rocks, you're just gonna sharpen your sword on this guy.

SPEAKER_06 56:23

I've killed rock guys before.

unknown 56:25

What?

SPEAKER_05 56:26

When have you killed a rock when have you killed a rock guy? Tell me. When did that happen?

SPEAKER_03 56:32

What? When you killed a rock guy? They might be hot on the outside, but they're ooey-gooey underneath.

SPEAKER_07 56:38

Oh, it sounds sexual.

SPEAKER_05 56:40

No. No, but I just want to know when, like, when you came to like when was this? When? Yeah, like was it in a war? Enough!

unknown 56:49

Ow.

SPEAKER_09 56:50

Tell me now. Can I roll to smack this guy around?

SPEAKER_03 56:54

Yes, absolutely. You can all do rolls. So he's obviously he's gonna attack you. Yeah. Well, Ryan, I s I I rolled a 20.

SPEAKER_04 57:03

Holy shit!

SPEAKER_03 57:04

Okay, so you're gonna you're gonna smack him around till he's just goo in his armor. Yeah.

SPEAKER_09 57:10

Listen to me, buddy. You look you have three seconds to lower that sword, or I'm gonna make you regret it for the rest of your life.

SPEAKER_03 57:18

And he goes, one, two, three.

SPEAKER_07 57:20

And then fly off, and he goes beneath it.

SPEAKER_03 57:31

You crash him like a trash compactor. So he's just a cube of armor.

SPEAKER_07 57:36

He's just boozing out.

SPEAKER_00 57:38

Oozing out of it. Oh my god. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_05 57:43

Oh no. That's that's the royal guard. We they're gonna come after us. We have to hide the body.

SPEAKER_09 57:49

It's so much pent-up frustration from hating his boss. I kind of went overboard. It's okay. I went overboard.

SPEAKER_07 57:55

Do I see do I see the knights ghost at all? Like, how how does it work with death and me as a ghost? Like, do I see them right away or do is that a screen?

SPEAKER_03 58:01

Great question. How would you want to you're the resident ghost here, Kevin? So how do you think? Is it right away or is it like are they are they did they show up next session?

SPEAKER_07 58:11

Next session. Let's say it's a thing that I can like I don't see them right away, but it's a thing that a ghost can be. Like, if I want to, I can find them. Sort of like her the uh Milfania's dead husband or something like that. There's like a seance or something like that.

SPEAKER_03 58:22

You can find them. You can find them.

SPEAKER_07 58:23

But I've been like a wizard bound me to this realm.

SPEAKER_03 58:26

Anyone who dies in this uh campaign, you can find them and talk to them and like get information from them. Or just bring them up.

SPEAKER_07 58:32

I can do like a seance. I'm gonna be kind of maybe I'm gonna be kind of uh witchy like that.

SPEAKER_03 58:36

Great. I love that.

SPEAKER_09 58:37

This is a fucking nightmare. Okay, all right, all right. We gotta bury the body. All right, let's wrap our heads around this.

SPEAKER_05 58:45

This is my fault. I took the dagger. Oh, damn it, damn it, shit. Stinky fing sticky fingers and stinky.

SPEAKER_07 58:52

Oh, I should have known it was your stinky, stinky fingers.

SPEAKER_09 58:55

Alright, it's okay. It's okay. Listen, here's what we're gonna do. We're gonna hide the body, we're gonna deny everything.

SPEAKER_05 59:05

How are we gonna explain our ransacked place? Oh, we'll come up with a really overly elaborate story. Here's it here it goes. Three pig men came to our door last night, and they threatened us, and we said, No, no, no, don't worry, it's gonna be fine. And then today they showed up, but it's just one of them. Now remember, three last night, one today. And when the one came in today, we shoot him away. And he said, You go to a place that no one will have recognized, a store that no one ever goes to. What's a store that no one ever goes to here? Shadow, we're gonna clean up. Okay, okay. That's a better idea, okay. That's the one thing we can control in this situation. That's true.

SPEAKER_03 59:44

But in the meantime, where are we gonna put this cube body? And shadow, you might want to bring up. I don't know if you want to bring up, but the the wizard did tell you about where you can go find, like about the knife. Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 59:54

And what one of the words was.

SPEAKER_05 59:56

The thing about this knife, you guys, is it's a magic knife. It could bring us great riches. The one word is doom, but the rest of it we don't know. It's a spell that'll unlock its powers. I think we should go find out where it how to unlock the powers. We gotta lay low anyway and get out of town while this blows over. Am I right?

SPEAKER_09 1:00:12

Oh god, look. It's a big bus of customers coming in.

SPEAKER_05 1:00:16

Like they're holding flyers. We gotta rename this place quick. Somebody cover I'll cover the body with a tablecloth and it'll look like a table.

SPEAKER_07 1:00:24

I'll I'll fly up and change the letters around on our sign. Uh so how it has to be an anagram of our actual.

SPEAKER_05 1:00:32

Come on, Mark, you're good at these. Uh has dingle dingling.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:37

Me and my choir are here for new clothes. We are children.

SPEAKER_07 1:00:42

I go, Oh, why would you need clothes? We're a mess store.

unknown 1:00:45

What?

SPEAKER_07 1:00:46

Yeah, we make messes, can't you see?

SPEAKER_05 1:00:50

Yes, and I I take, you know, I'm like, Yes, yes, yes. We're we we uh we're called the mess store.

SPEAKER_07 1:00:57

We're called children's mess for less. Yeah. Yeah, look at the sign. Yeah. No, like as a ghost, I shape my body into the into the words over top of the um our mistake, I guess.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:09

Oh well, come on, kids. They're all orphans. They were so looking forward to their new cloaks. Well, it's too bad.

SPEAKER_07 1:01:15

Well, clothes aren't parents, so off you go. Bye.

SPEAKER_09 1:01:18

Guys, guys, can I do a little powwow with you guys right just for a second? Yeah, yeah. She's pissing me off.

SPEAKER_05 1:01:24

No, dude. You can't go bananas right now. We just whipped bananas on that guard and you killed him. And we have mess for less is a great.

SPEAKER_09 1:01:34

You're right, you're right, you're right, you're right. Okay, all right, listen. One crisis averted. I'm getting rid of this cube. Then I gotta go on my date. Oh my god! He has a date, Shadow.

SPEAKER_07 1:01:45

He has a beautiful date with Milfania.

SPEAKER_05 1:01:47

So that's the thing, you have a date tonight, right? Have a date with Milfania? She was prom queen at our high school. She's the most beautiful woman in all of Wizardopolis, and I would even suggest the world. I know.

SPEAKER_07 1:02:01

Yes, and her voice is so good, but you have to understand, there's something fishy about her. I don't trust it. Who would fall in love that fast with fist? He goes bananas like crazy.

SPEAKER_05 1:02:12

I wouldn't say they're in love already.

SPEAKER_07 1:02:14

But he also wants to do a picnic in a hole.

SPEAKER_09 1:02:17

Well, that's a classic rock guy place to have a picnic.

SPEAKER_07 1:02:21

Oh, you're she didn't have time for you in h-not time for you in high school and suddenly she's all about about it? Like, what?

SPEAKER_09 1:02:28

She's got a kid. She's a widow. She I'm a nice guy. I come along. What do I have to do? Math for you?

SPEAKER_07 1:02:36

Yeah, it's two minuses for her and two pluses for her.

SPEAKER_03 1:02:39

To wrap this session up, are you guys gonna go on the run? Are you gonna wait to dress the prince in the morning?

unknown 1:02:45

Oh shit.

SPEAKER_03 1:02:46

I think or are you gonna let the date happen? I think the date should happen.

SPEAKER_05 1:02:50

But well, I mean, that's for next session, I guess. But I would suggest that we that we that he goes on the date. We gotta go on the date. Gotta go on the date. And then we go and then we go with Milfade.

SPEAKER_03 1:03:05

And then you're gonna leave early in the morning before Augustus comes back or can alert other knights to come and like, where's my night guy? Yeah. Yeah. Okay.

SPEAKER_07 1:03:13

I think we have to give up on undressing the prince entirely because it's like, well, what's the point of doing that? He's gonna want to know where the knight is and the dagger. We gotta do that.

SPEAKER_03 1:03:20

There's gonna be some hard roles in there if you try to do a sort of like uh uh uh what do you call deceit.

SPEAKER_05 1:03:27

This this party might end in two sessions. Like we might all be.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:32

But there's a lot of conflict and really nice sort of like story threads.

SPEAKER_09 1:03:36

Here's here's the thing is I don't want to leave our store.

SPEAKER_03 1:03:39

Yeah, that's the other thing. Yeah, you love this store. You love Wizardopolis.

SPEAKER_09 1:03:44

I think if if uh if Shadow wants to go figure out this knife thing, he can do that, but we're gonna hold down the Ford at the store. And I think we can still dress this prince because he doesn't know we killed the knight. No.

SPEAKER_03 1:03:58

Okay. So why don't we try to have a combo platter next time? Yeah. We're gonna try to dress the prince and have disregard any like knowledge of of uh of his dead or missing knight protector. Um Fist is gonna go on the date with Milfania.

SPEAKER_09 1:04:17

Yeah, Milfania.

SPEAKER_03 1:04:18

Shadow is going to like go on his own to figure out the power of this knife, which will be fun. So we'll have a kind of an A-plot.

SPEAKER_05 1:04:27

And I just feel it relates to us being okay. Like it's like not just a power knife, it's like make everything better knife.

SPEAKER_03 1:04:35

I think I think it's like it's clearly a quest sort of like beginner, uh uh you know there's something there. It's a spark. Yeah. And I I like going but bouncing back and forth because all of you can play different characters on in the different streams.

SPEAKER_07 1:04:49

And will uh Leslie go on the quest into Wizard Mountain or is he going to like Leslie can bounce back and forth because he's a ghost.

SPEAKER_03 1:04:56

That's true.

SPEAKER_07 1:04:57

Sort of Serena de Bergerac, the day.

SPEAKER_03 1:04:59

Yeah, you can just go back and forth.

SPEAKER_05 1:05:00

And I think we should also do whatever you want. We should also see a glimpse of high school where Milfania, who was a high school student named Milfania, and their interactions between like back in the day, we can maybe.

SPEAKER_03 1:05:18

And of course, Shadow is there too.

SPEAKER_05 1:05:19

Yeah.

unknown 1:05:20

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 1:05:21

Yeah, Shadow was there too.

SPEAKER_03 1:05:22

And Leslie wasn't uh wasn't there but was Leslie was alive and working the working the store. Okay, we'll do it we have all that. Yeah. We have uh bouncing back in time, we have the date with Milfania, we have Shadow going to the mountains to figure out the dagger, and we have Leslie going wherever Leslie fucking wants and and possess, what is it, Leslie Pazeszi? Leslie Pazeszi Leslie Pazeszi can try to possess anyone with the caveat, but if it doesn't work, they take all the bad habits on.

SPEAKER_02 1:05:51

This has been a great hard reset. The fourth we've done. This is the fourth campaign. Yeah, this is great.

SPEAKER_03 1:05:57

We're loving life. It's a good everyone's friends. We've got a lot of conflict and a lot of story threads going. And it's another wonderful um voyage on the the the life of the nightmare party.

SPEAKER_02 1:06:13

So enjoy the week before we come back and do more nightmare party. Love you. Bye.