[00:00:00] Clinton Hall: you don't fundamentally feel that hard expansion until you become a father,
[00:00:03] Alessandro: I don't want to be the kind of dad that is absent the kind of dad who runs a business and, won't be there when his son needs
[00:00:09] Clinton Hall: I literally thought that was my job. Go to work, make money, put a roof over the head,
[00:00:13] Clinton Hall: when my first daughter came along, I was completely ill equipped, to hold space for a growing human
[00:00:18] Clinton Hall: it was up to me to break those chains, alcoholism, abuse,
[00:00:21] Alessandro: we do not listen to words. We, watch, kids watch
[00:00:24] Clinton Hall: So I am the gold standard for my daughters,
[00:00:26] Alessandro: By the way, I'm later today going to go find out the gender. [00:00:30] Of a first child
[00:00:31] Clinton Hall: Well, welcome Clint.
[00:00:32] Alessandro: to have
[00:00:32] Clinton Hall: It's great to have
[00:00:33] Alessandro: up and listen.
[00:00:34] Clinton Hall: Absolutely, man. It's an absolute honor and a privilege and I'm just grateful that you know for the five minutes we had on intro here to catch up on what's happening in your life, happening in my life, and let's see where this conversation goes, brother. I'm really excited and.
[00:00:46] Alessandro: we'll get there. definitely get
[00:00:48] Clinton Hall: definitely get that,
[00:00:49] Alessandro: might
[00:00:49] Clinton Hall: actually start that.
[00:00:50] Alessandro: question.
[00:00:51] Clinton Hall: question
[00:00:51] Alessandro: I see on
[00:00:52] Clinton Hall: I see on your,
[00:00:53] Alessandro: bio, there's, a dad,
[00:00:55] Clinton Hall: a dad, a man.
[00:00:56] Alessandro: a teacher, and a coach. I'd
[00:00:58] Clinton Hall: Yes. I'd love to know
[00:00:59] Alessandro: which [00:01:00] one
[00:01:00] Clinton Hall: which one of those
[00:01:00] Alessandro: makes you
[00:01:01] Clinton Hall: makes you most proud. obviously many hats. Similar role, um, but a father. Father and again too, we, we just touched on that briefly. You're about to go into fatherhood or you're on the early stages of fatherhood and that path for yourself, but, um,
[00:01:17] Alessandro: the way, for
[00:01:18] Clinton Hall: I believe
[00:01:18] Alessandro: this is probably the announcement of that.
[00:01:21] Clinton Hall: Oh,
[00:01:22] Alessandro: All good. We're not live by the time, by the time this airs, I think I will have announced it.
[00:01:27] Clinton Hall: oh my man. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You didn't say you didn't, [00:01:30] you said nothing is off, off limits today, mate. Nothing is off limits. Ah, yeah. Absolutely. Being a father, you know. We and you like. I was so self-centered. Even within, you know, being in a long-term relationship, being able to commit into marriage is something heavy for a man.
[00:01:47] Clinton Hall: It's huge. You know, you go from this bachelor lifestyle and solely focusing on yourself, and luckily enough for me, it looked like my health as well, my career, making money showing up in the world. But you know that that heart expands when you connect to someone on [00:02:00] an intimate level and you commit to a lifetime of.
[00:02:02] Clinton Hall: F challenge, struggle, but you know, potentially growth, ah, deepness of connection, relationship, intimacy, love, sex, whatever it is. But you don't fundamentally feel that hard expansion until you become a father, and it just increases your capacity for love. Um, but also to on the opposite end of the spectrum, you get the highs, you also get the lows.
[00:02:23] Clinton Hall: But it's something that I think really motivated me to be better. [00:02:30] Um, I think first and foremost was not the husband hat, it was the, the father hat, that's for sure. Alessandra.
[00:02:36] Alessandro: we didn't know that we were gonna jump into this space about That was not what we spoke about in the, in our little
[00:02:43] Clinton Hall: Little preset for the call, but
[00:02:44] Alessandro: You know, I, I
[00:02:45] Clinton Hall: you know, I, I might even take the
[00:02:47] Alessandro: to learn a little
[00:02:47] Clinton Hall: opportunity.
[00:02:48] Alessandro: with me becoming a, a father soon. And I think that would help other people out here. I'd like to
[00:02:53] Clinton Hall: I'd like to know.
[00:02:54] Alessandro: you're about to go this, if you don't mind me sharing, you're about to go this a third time, and, you shared off [00:03:00] camera that you've had two daughters and, and a boy, and a boy is
[00:03:04] Clinton Hall: A about
[00:03:05] Clinton Hall: so to speak. arrive so
[00:03:07] Alessandro: love to know. When we're talking about better husbands, you know, my whole thing is about better husbands, but how much of being
[00:03:14] Clinton Hall: much of being a better
[00:03:15] Alessandro: linked with being a better father? actually,
[00:03:18] Clinton Hall: actually
[00:03:18] Alessandro: is there anything that's outside of being a
[00:03:20] Clinton Hall: of being a better husband.
[00:03:21] Alessandro: But yeah, what, what sits outside and what sits with inside? Or is it all part of the
[00:03:25] Clinton Hall: Yeah.
[00:03:26] Alessandro: thing?
[00:03:26] Clinton Hall: Uh. Look, it can be all encompassing, that's for [00:03:30] sure. But I've listened to you and I've followed you and, and the intimate relationship, the partner, the wife, she reflects your shadow and she reflects parts of you that you may not necessarily like the parts of you that are potentially inadequate, the parts of you that you need to work on, if you can like multiply that.
[00:03:52] Clinton Hall: And if you can genuinely focus on being a good father and a parent, and then multiply that, that, that's what it feels like. You know, like, [00:04:00] and for only a father of daughters, and I'm about to step into being a father of a boy and a father of a man one day, is that it's like my, my reflection on my shadow is like highlighted.
[00:04:11] Clinton Hall: And my, particularly my eldest, the first born, she highlighted all of my flaws, all of my inadequacy as a man, being able to hold space. I thought, you know, like in the business space or career space, and even within my relationship, I thought, I've got this shit covered. I can breathe through, I can be non-reactive.
[00:04:26] Clinton Hall: I can look at problems and solve them without. Attaching [00:04:30] emotion to them. But then when my first daughter came along, I was completely ill equipped, completely ill prepared, and I had no concept of what it actually looked like to hold space for a growing human, for a, for a child who cried when she was hungry for a child that you know didn't listen when she was a toddler for a child that, understands the world through that own egocentric view.
[00:04:48] Clinton Hall: All it did was really highlight my own. Ego and where I really needed to actually work on, and I'm so grateful that she has taught me so many lessons. I expressed that gratitude to her, although she doesn't quite conceptually [00:05:00] understand it, but it was like on steroids, man, and it has really. Highlighted my own desire to be a better human, uh, to be able to make sure, particularly we might go in this space or not.
[00:05:14] Clinton Hall: But you know, my childhood was not one that reflects the, the space that I'm raising my kids in right now. And that's something that I'm very proud of. Um, but you know, the generational trauma, the generational change, the generational shackles of Angry Man, reactive dad, [00:05:30] provide and protect, you know, it was up to me to break those chains, alcoholism, abuse, whatever, you know, however deep we want to go.
[00:05:35] Clinton Hall: Alessandro, you know, it's really important that I provide a space where my. Children are held where my children feel safe to express their authenticity, where they're loved, warts, flaws, and all. You know, my role is to create safety so that they can express themselves and find themselves and figure out who they are in this great big world and then arm them with the capacity to go out there and have impact and create change and live wonderful fulfilling lives themselves.
[00:05:58] Clinton Hall: And yeah, I'll [00:06:00] be honest, man, like I should have just put Dad first. it's my major motivating for.
[00:06:04] Alessandro: It's interesting
[00:06:05] Clinton Hall: Interesting.
[00:06:06] Alessandro: said this. Um, I had no idea what it was like to hold space for a, a young human growing. now that you
[00:06:13] Clinton Hall: So now do you have an
[00:06:14] Alessandro: what it
[00:06:14] Clinton Hall: idea?
[00:06:15] Alessandro: hold space, what does it mean?
[00:06:16] Clinton Hall: you like, like I said, like when you just think you have it all figured out until you don't, and
[00:06:20] Alessandro: Mm.
[00:06:21] Clinton Hall: I, I took this in within my coaching space, is like there's two kind of men there. There's there's, or yeah, there's a fixed mindset and a growth mindset, and you can either look at every opportunity as an [00:06:30] opportunity, and I think you might have mentioned this on one of your podcasts as well as well, like, what lesson can I learn from this?
[00:06:34] Clinton Hall: You know, every, every struggle. Every resistance, every moment in life where your challenge is an opportunity to actually reflect and go, okay, what am I contributing to this? What can I learn from this? How can I get better? How can I adapt? How can I change? How can I grow? How can I heal? How can I continually improve so that my life, again, we, we are seeking peace, or you know, I don't want my life to be easier.
[00:06:57] Clinton Hall: But I want to improve so that I can make it easier for those [00:07:00] around me. I think, you know, we are inherently men who want to provide that safety and that structure for women, for young women as well, to be able to be women. Um,it it like, I had no idea, man. I had no idea. I literally thought my role, and again, we can now dive a little bit deeper into that as, as the better husband and trying to align with your audience.
[00:07:20] Clinton Hall: I literally thought that was my job. Go to work, make money, put a roof over the head, and on the weekends I can go fishing and have my mates and drink beer. And you know, that would be extent of my capacity. I [00:07:30] can cook, you know, and I do a little bit of washing and, you know, we'll see where the, where the, where the tide takes us.
[00:07:35] Clinton Hall: And it was a big shock. It was a big shock, brother. 'cause again, too, my wife was a professional. She wanted to get back to work, she wanted to make money. She has big goals and audacious dreams. And again, another realization was being able to, you know, understand, in my role, to be able to facilitate that for her.
[00:07:51] Clinton Hall: I just thought it was gonna be easy, man. Wasn't I wrong?
[00:07:54] Alessandro: Mm You thought it was gonna be easy. So what's actually changed [00:08:00] within you?
[00:08:00] Clinton Hall: Back to what we said right at the start, Alessandra is, and again, now my work really aligns with that as well. Something that I'm very proud of is that. The world is bigger than me. You know, the world is not here to serve me. I'm here to serve the world. And I think that once you actually bring human energy, human life force into the world, you have, that opens up the doorway.
[00:08:20] Clinton Hall: It literally opens up a spiritual doorway to access more energy, more capacity, more emotion, highs and lows. As I mentioned. You know, the spectrum all of a sudden goes from, [00:08:30] you know, you're operating with this within this bandwidth of highs and lows, but until you have children and extend that family, it, it kind of.
[00:08:37] Clinton Hall: Magnifies again, I've talked about that magnification or multiplication effect.
[00:08:41] Alessandro: I can, I'm assuming that the, the, the place of that's going is that it's opened your capacity for service, uh,
[00:08:48] Clinton Hall: Absolutely.
[00:08:48] Clinton Hall: You're not the center of the world. And
[00:08:51] Alessandro: that's
[00:08:51] Clinton Hall: don't think. That's
[00:08:52] Alessandro: talk about boy behaviors, you know, straight to man behaviors, like that's, that's key number one is like, I'm not the center of the world.
[00:08:57] Clinton Hall: number 1%.
[00:08:58] Alessandro: and I'm here for [00:09:00] service. Yeah, it's, it's, it's really beautiful.
[00:09:02] Clinton Hall: Yeah.
[00:09:03] Alessandro: magnifies
[00:09:04] Clinton Hall: beautiful.
[00:09:05] Alessandro: what,
[00:09:06] Clinton Hall: And
[00:09:07] Clinton Hall: take on, uh, no, we we're going hard on the parenting angle here at the moment, but I think the, the timing is just aligned, just aligned.
[00:09:14] Alessandro: day, um, for everyone that,
[00:09:16] Clinton Hall: Yeah.
[00:09:16] Alessandro: doesn't know.
[00:09:17] Alessandro: By the way, I'm, I'm, I'm later today going to gofind out the gender. Of a first child. and I told Clint off camera.
[00:10:19] Alessandro: [00:09:30] [00:10:00] and I think that's why it's morphed into this. But what I,
[00:10:23] Clinton Hall: But what I, what I wanna,
[00:10:25] Alessandro: when you are.
[00:10:26] Clinton Hall: when.
[00:10:26] Alessandro: You know, uh, looking at the magnification of this [00:10:30] is with kids. happens with your
[00:10:32] Clinton Hall: What happens with you,
[00:10:33] Alessandro: Is she part of that
[00:10:34] Clinton Hall: part of that magnification.
[00:10:36] Alessandro: yes. I would
[00:10:37] Clinton Hall: Yes. I would love to know.
[00:10:38] Alessandro: that changes and, and what do you do with that dynamic change?
[00:10:43] Clinton Hall: Yeah. So again, speaking from lived experience, um, and any man that's been there through the birth of their own children can, can certainly, agree with this. Is that that level of depth. Or compassion or pride or love that a man can [00:11:00] feel for his woman. Again, he's magnified. When you actually see your woman give birth to something that you've co-created is extremely spiritual.
[00:11:08] Clinton Hall: Your depth of love, again, expense for that woman. But again, and, and I'm looking also retrospectively, Alessandra, obviously, you know, like I'm about to go into the trenches again. It's something that I'm genuinely excited for, but also shit scared of because I've got my life dialed in, man, you know, like my work's good.
[00:11:26] Clinton Hall: My kids are independent, they're doing fantastic things. They help out [00:11:30] around the home. My wife, she's a rock star, and again, that comes through to what's happened over the last decade as well. You know, I'm, I'm shit scared man, and shit's about to get really real and I'm, I'm completely aware of that. But what happens is that they run in parallel.
[00:11:50] Clinton Hall: You know, your level for expansion doesn't just end and begin with your kids. It also begins with your partner. Like I said, you guys will get to connect on a [00:12:00] deeper spiritual level. And again, too, like I said, like your children reflect that shadow part of yourself, your wife certainly does. And a man, we talked about that.
[00:12:09] Clinton Hall: Needs to own his shit. He needs to actually realize that life changes. Life only gets harder. As your sphere of influence grows, as your responsibility grows, you've got two options. You either go inwards or in in, you go inwards and you stop and you become a victim of circumstances and you just say, this is the way that shit is.
[00:12:28] Clinton Hall: It's the way that it was for my [00:12:30] father and his father's father, and this is the be all and end all of life. I'm just gonna sit here, get fat, put my feet up, and either get divorced or just have an unhappy marriage with no connection, no intimacy. c'est la vie or I continue to focus energy in that area of my life.
[00:12:45] Clinton Hall: I can continue to focus energy in my ability to hold space for my woman just as I have for my children. And then all of a sudden that expands into a man's purpose of, okay, well if I can hold it for my women, maybe I can teach men the same thing. It's been an amazing decade, [00:13:00] Alessandro. That is for sure.
[00:13:01] Clinton Hall: And I look forward to the next, how old am I the next six decades, if my wife can hang on for as long as I can, and. It's gonna be amazing, man. It's gonna be amazing.
[00:13:10] Alessandro: growth between the two of you. You know, it's
[00:13:12] Clinton Hall: You know, it's,
[00:13:12] Alessandro: you reminded me when you were saying that about this, you know, making one that men know that, life will always change and will always have the difficulty to it. I'm not sure if it
[00:13:23] Clinton Hall: I'm not sure if it was
[00:13:23] Alessandro: Way of the superior man, but there was a certain
[00:13:25] Clinton Hall: certain line,
[00:13:26] Alessandro: like,
[00:13:27] Clinton Hall: like
[00:13:27] Alessandro: man wants
[00:13:28] Clinton Hall: if a man wants to get
[00:13:29] Alessandro: the [00:13:30] change and the difficulty of life and wife, he can go become a monk.
[00:13:35] Clinton Hall: Yes.
[00:13:35] Alessandro: That's the only
[00:13:36] Clinton Hall: Yeah. Oh man.
[00:13:38] Alessandro: I understand
[00:13:39] Clinton Hall: understand the,
[00:13:40] Alessandro: I understand
[00:13:40] Clinton Hall: I understand the, all
[00:13:41] Alessandro: off to India and, and becoming a monk
[00:13:43] Clinton Hall: becoming a mon having to with life.
[00:13:46] Alessandro: but that
[00:13:46] Clinton Hall: Yes.
[00:13:47] Alessandro: or wife.
[00:13:48] Clinton Hall: It's not reality. No. And you know, the eternal sabbatical, although it is appealing, you know, where does it leave us? Maybe closer to self or maybe closer to God. I actually, it's funny 'cause you prompted me. I, I,
[00:13:59] Alessandro: closer to [00:14:00] death.
[00:14:00] Clinton Hall: yeah.
[00:14:00] Clinton Hall: Potentially. Yeah.
[00:14:01] Alessandro: you think
[00:14:02] Clinton Hall: And being, being okay with that. Being okay with that complete surrender. I had a, and I can't even remember the context, but basically it was something to do with the reflection of your wife and how it shows up in you, and your reaction and your response. But one of the comments was, I don't think this is relevant for a Buddhist monk.
[00:14:20] Clinton Hall: And my response again, just reciprocated what you just said, Alessandra. The reality is that men in the trenches with [00:14:30] wives and young children, they don't have time to practice Buddhism. They don't have time to become monks. They need to figure this shit out in real time, otherwise they're gonna get left behind.
[00:14:38] Alessandro: It's, uh, interesting. My wife and I had a, a conversation about this this morning and, and you know, I, I don't know, know where everyone stands spiritually or anything like that, but even if we, like, I, I, I'm quite influenced by Buddhism and like the Eastern, eastern ideals and, and, and the, the Dao and things like that.
[00:14:56] Alessandro: And I really love their, their takes. But when we [00:15:00] get down to the heart of it, even, even whatever religion you believe in or spirituality believe in. We are here in physical form. human, the simple, like the, all the way
[00:15:12] Clinton Hall: All the way down.
[00:15:12] Alessandro: here
[00:15:13] Clinton Hall: Yep.
[00:15:13] Alessandro: form
[00:15:13] Clinton Hall: Physical.
[00:15:14] Alessandro: and to deny the physical form as
[00:15:17] Clinton Hall: The physical,
[00:15:17] Alessandro: and seek solely the spiritual or solely the, the monk on the mountain is denying the existence and the reality that we're in.
[00:15:25] Clinton Hall: yes.
[00:15:25] Alessandro: it doesn't
[00:15:26] Clinton Hall: Doesn't mean
[00:15:27] Alessandro: go and seek spirituality. I mean, I think it's [00:15:30] really great. like I actually think everyone should at one point
[00:15:32] Clinton Hall: One point to
[00:15:33] Alessandro: to remember
[00:15:34] Clinton Hall: remember where
[00:15:35] Alessandro: they're connected to,
[00:15:36] Clinton Hall: to,
[00:15:36] Alessandro: but.
[00:15:37] Clinton Hall: but
[00:15:38] Alessandro: In the
[00:15:39] Clinton Hall: in the end,
[00:15:39] Alessandro: are here to live this life,
[00:15:42] Clinton Hall: yes,
[00:15:43] Alessandro: to be in this, to be in the shit, to be in the trenches.
[00:15:46] Alessandro: And I think that's, that's a, it's a, it's a good thing for men to understand is that they will never get that peace until they die. And
[00:15:53] Clinton Hall: Yes.
[00:15:53] Alessandro: to love the war of it.
[00:15:56] Clinton Hall: Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I love that frame, man. I, I, I believe that, you [00:16:00] know, the goal of transcendence almost takes away from the magic and the purity of life, which is right there in the present moment. And unfortunately, like you said, it's imperfect. And
[00:16:10] Alessandro: Mm-hmm.
[00:16:11] Clinton Hall: in every single opportunity for feedback, every single opportunity that causes friction and discomfort, there's an opportunity there for you to create more peace and become more present and become more.
[00:16:24] Clinton Hall: Entwined with that transcendent goal, with your partner, with your family, with your [00:16:30] community, and with your, with your internal purpose. I think it's really powerful that we kind of don't get caught, caught in that trap because it's happening right before your eyes, man.
[00:16:39] Alessandro: Yeah. There was also something you said earlier, which I'd love to double back on and, and I have a question for it, is you said you're shit scared. You know you've got the third child coming and, and you are shit scared. Those words now. Interestingly enough, I'd love to talk about fear and masculine and feminine dynamics.
[00:16:58] Clinton Hall: Awesome.
[00:16:59] Alessandro: I heard somebody say to [00:17:00] say to me once, which was really interesting, and I've not really spoken to anyone about this on the, on this podcast, so I think this would be a good conversation with you, I heard somebody say to me that. They never let their wife know they are scared. They let other men know when they are scared,
[00:17:17] Clinton Hall: Mm-hmm.
[00:17:18] Alessandro: for this is that they can then really show and be vulnerable with their emotions to let it out. But
[00:17:26] Clinton Hall: Yep.
[00:17:27] Alessandro: ruin the frame of their wife.
[00:17:29] Clinton Hall: [00:17:30] Yes.
[00:17:30] Alessandro: cannot take it, then they resent their wife,
[00:17:32] Clinton Hall: Mm-hmm.
[00:17:33] Alessandro: like, 'cause their wife will instantly feel unsafe and the right wife might attack them for it. And then they're in the spiral of, but you don't understand me. She's in the spiral of, but you don't make me feel safe.
[00:17:43] Alessandro: And
[00:17:43] Clinton Hall: Yes.
[00:17:43] Alessandro: the way like that.
[00:17:45] Clinton Hall: Yep. So
[00:17:46] Alessandro: firstly, what do you
[00:17:47] Clinton Hall: what do you think?
[00:17:48] Alessandro: Do you agree? And secondly, are you telling your wife that you are shit scared?
[00:17:53] Clinton Hall: All right, I can keep this really short and, and drill this back to you in two sentences, but we might start with one [00:18:00] sentence and then we'll expand from there.
[00:18:01] Alessandro: Okay.
[00:18:02] Clinton Hall: I agree with you 100% wholeheartedly, and it is a lesson that I learned through my own experience. my wife wants to know that I. I'm an emotional being.
[00:18:14] Clinton Hall: She wants to know that I feel, she wants to know that I can hold her emotions. She wants to know that I can hold the emotions of my children to make sure that they're safe, not just at a physical level. Like I said, you know, the role of the father in past generations was to provide that physical [00:18:30] safety that has evolved.
[00:18:31] Clinton Hall: Men like you and I have this awareness that we now need to provide emotional and spiritual safety for not just the women but the men in our lives. I have changed. Would I say to my wife, I'm shit scared about what's about to happen over the next 12 months? Hell no, brother, hell no. My role is to hold her and I think I mentioned to you, we're having a home birth.
[00:18:51] Clinton Hall: You know, I, I can't show one inkling of fear in that moment, man. I am there to hold space for her. I'm there to hold her frame. I'm here to get her in her [00:19:00] body. I'm here to talk her through. The hell fire she's about to go through. I'm here to encourage her. I'm here to hold space for her. And this is, uh, this is what I'm so excited about.
[00:19:09] Clinton Hall: Actually, this is gonna be a full test of my masculine frame, so
[00:19:15] Alessandro: Hmm.
[00:19:15] Clinton Hall: I am excited and shit's scared about what's coming.
[00:19:19] Alessandro: Mm-hmm.
[00:19:19] Clinton Hall: I'm also shit scared about raising a boy because that goes back into my parts and, and my past and how I was raised. But we can talk on that a little bit later. But I agree with you [00:19:30] 100%.
[00:19:31] Clinton Hall: The woman is not there to be my emotional sounding board. She's there to show me and shine light on my shadow parts so that I can heal and we can grow together. I have to hold space for her so she can be a woman. I, and I've come to that realization only in the last couple of years, and it has fucking changed the dynamic of our relationship.
[00:19:50] Clinton Hall: No end.
[00:19:51] Alessandro: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
[00:19:53] Clinton Hall: my own emotions and build a network of men. And that's where we're gonna segue into next. That's why we need a [00:20:00] brotherhood. That's why we need wise council. That's why we need the round table, the, the, the board, whatever it might Men need other men to realize that they're not alone in the way they process emotions, feel emotions and show up in the world.
[00:20:17] Clinton Hall: You know, men's emotional struggles. And again, I, I'm sure we've read, we've studied a lot. I, I've, you know. Listened a lot with, with you and, and some of the guys, you know, Dr. Ner, again, we talks about this rites of passage. You know, men being able to [00:20:30] hold space for other men is critical for the modern man to be able to access his own emotional capacity so he can hold space for his woman, not weakness, fear or vulnerability, sadness.
[00:20:43] Clinton Hall: Like we are, we are here to hold a frame so they, they can feel all the emotion and know that we are okay. With how they feel at any given moment. And then, like you said, then you get that spiral loop of reaction, defensiveness, blame, and it doesn't go anywhere. That's not an opportunity for any relationship to grow in depth.
[00:20:59] Alessandro: Yeah. [00:21:00] It's a really interesting thing that I see a lot with men and I've seen it a lot in myself. Like, so it, it's so funny
[00:21:05] Clinton Hall: So funny because
[00:21:05] Alessandro: see patterns
[00:21:06] Clinton Hall: Pat,
[00:21:07] Alessandro: and then you start seeing it reflect in other people, you can almost just assume that it's just widespread. But I
[00:21:11] Clinton Hall: yes.
[00:21:12] Alessandro: I saw it in myself first, which was I made my wife my full emotional center. You know, so my emotions were tied to her emotions. Like I always talk about in my coaching in the academy and different places like this, I'll talk about how, you know, anchoring. So if, if, if, if we [00:21:30] are a
[00:21:30] Clinton Hall: We boat
[00:21:30] Alessandro: the top of, um, you know, on, on the
[00:21:33] Clinton Hall: the water,
[00:21:33] Alessandro: want to
[00:21:33] Clinton Hall: we wanna anchor
[00:21:34] Alessandro: the, the bottom of the ground, which is our sense of self.
[00:21:37] Alessandro: it,
[00:21:37] Alessandro: we
[00:21:37] Clinton Hall: but if we anchor into our lives,
[00:21:39] Alessandro: anchoring into a submarine and, and the, the captain's on crack and your, your boat is going around everywhere. Right.
[00:21:47] Clinton Hall: yep.
[00:21:48] Alessandro: but interestingly enough, like it has So, one,
[00:21:52] Clinton Hall: So one you.
[00:21:53] Alessandro: feel unsafe, right? Because she, feels like she has to, it's like that whole thing of being passive, and then the mental load is [00:22:00] happening, and then they feel like they have to step up into it. But what I, what I find really interesting about this is this idea that a man gets, and I've seen this
[00:22:07] Clinton Hall: I've this objection so often
[00:22:09] Alessandro: in responding to my
[00:22:11] Clinton Hall: my emails this morning
[00:22:12] Alessandro: in response to one of my latest emails, men going,
[00:22:16] Clinton Hall: going,
[00:22:16] Alessandro: unfair. It's unfair.
[00:22:21] Clinton Hall: why?
[00:22:21] Alessandro: Why do I
[00:22:23] Clinton Hall: do I have to?
[00:22:24] Alessandro: emotion and she can't hold my emotion?[00:22:30]
[00:22:30] Clinton Hall: Yeah.
[00:22:30] Alessandro: of why this is. I have a why, but
[00:22:32] Clinton Hall: Yeah.
[00:22:32] Alessandro: know what you all idea or why men are
[00:22:36] Clinton Hall: Okay, so I have an idea on this too. Alessandro, and without using your own words like that, is a boy that is not a man who understands his role in the world and is a boy who was a victim of circumstance. And at some point throughout his childhood, the game [00:23:00] wasn't unfair. And that's the lens that he has.
[00:23:03] Clinton Hall: Portrayed emotion through and felt emotion through. There is space for people to hold emotion for him, but from my belief, if you want to build depth of relationship and intimacy with your partner, it is not to make her your emotional anchor. It's to find men who lift you up, who can hold space for you.
[00:23:25] Clinton Hall: You solve problems together. Your rational mind works better. [00:23:30] In community than isolated and in alone. And I just think that fairness is not the game. You know, there are no rules that define fairness in terms of emotional capacity, but I think if, if men can really understand the difference between how a woman acts and feels and expresses emotionally and how safety is a core tenant of your connection, then.
[00:23:55] Clinton Hall: It's no longer about being fair. You look at other avenues to go, okay, how can I feel? How can I access my [00:24:00] emotion? How can I externalize and release this emotion? 'cause again, what is emotion? It's energy, emotion. Men, we feel emotion. And unless we're in tune with our body and have developed this level of self-awareness and body awareness, that allows us to recognize those internal patterns in our body and the way it responds to certain stimulus, we're trapped.
[00:24:21] Clinton Hall: We, we we're trapped. We're trapped in our own body. We're trapped in our own past. We're trapped in our own reactions, and then we are, we become a victim. We're like, well, this is not fair. I need someone [00:24:30] to be able to emotionally dump on, emotionally drain on. And there are people out there, but unfortunately, boy, man, man, child, however you wanna frame it.
[00:24:39] Clinton Hall: It's not your wife.
[00:24:40] Alessandro: It's
[00:24:40] Clinton Hall: It's interesting.
[00:24:41] Alessandro: around something here. So yes, I a
[00:24:43] Clinton Hall: Agree.
[00:24:43] Alessandro: agree with you, obviously, like. It's, it's definitely boy behavior, I think what
[00:24:48] Clinton Hall: I think
[00:24:48] Alessandro: that boy behavior, and, and this is something
[00:24:50] Clinton Hall: something
[00:24:51] Alessandro: I see over and over again, I believe, what's
[00:24:54] Clinton Hall: it's
[00:24:54] Alessandro: behavior.
[00:24:55] Alessandro: We can go
[00:24:55] Clinton Hall: we
[00:24:55] Alessandro: approach. He would say it's like lack
[00:24:57] Clinton Hall: approach.
[00:24:57] Alessandro: right? Or a
[00:24:58] Clinton Hall: Yep. Yep. Yep.[00:25:00]
[00:25:00] Alessandro: I think there's, that's a huge part of it. But another part of it, which, which doesn't actually come up usually in the rites of passage work comes
[00:25:08] Alessandro: Comes outside. our whole
[00:25:09] Clinton Hall: Our whole society has forgotten
[00:25:11] Alessandro: are
[00:25:11] Clinton Hall: that women
[00:25:12] Alessandro: thing.
[00:25:12] Clinton Hall: Yeah,
[00:25:15] Alessandro: They're not the same
[00:25:15] Clinton Hall: they're not the same thing. Yes. So
[00:25:17] Alessandro: it's like we're trying to
[00:25:18] Clinton Hall: trying to apply the
[00:25:19] Alessandro: to the
[00:25:19] Clinton Hall: one to the other,
[00:25:20] Alessandro: don't know where these rules start and end. And so our definitions of what fair and not fair are is like this, it it,
[00:25:27] Clinton Hall: it blurred. Mm-hmm.
[00:25:28] Alessandro: yeah, it's [00:25:30] blurred. And when a man goes, ah, it's not fair because I've given her space. The, the, the Robert Glover, Dr. Robert Glover's approach is, that's a covert contract where he's a assuming that because
[00:25:40] Clinton Hall: Because he's given space.
[00:25:41] Alessandro: she needs to give him space. But these are two different beings.
[00:25:45] Clinton Hall: yes.
[00:25:46] Alessandro: and I see
[00:25:47] Clinton Hall: And I see that
[00:25:48] Alessandro: again in, in, like in science. Now science seems to want to blur the lines, but I'm like, you're trying to fix something that's not necessarily. True. Like we are ignoring the
[00:25:57] Clinton Hall: ignoring the
[00:25:58] Alessandro: one has a completely
[00:25:59] Clinton Hall: [00:26:00] different.
[00:26:01] Alessandro: than the other.
[00:26:01] Clinton Hall: Yep. Yep. We operate on different cycles. You know, the 28 day versus the 24 hour cycle. You know, there's so many fundamental difference, not just in our physiology, but in our emotional capacity. And again, some of that is obviously behavioral, some of it is nurture. And again, too, we talk about generation of men raised by.
[00:26:23] Clinton Hall: Emotionally and physically unavailable men, you know? And I put my hand up. I'm one of those men. I had no fucking idea, man, and I still don't have any [00:26:30] idea. I'm curious. I'm learning all the time. I'm learning through what works and what doesn't work with my own relationship, with my own clients, with my own children, but.
[00:26:37] Clinton Hall: We are also a generation of men that have been raised by women, and we are again too, like you said, now all of a sudden the lines are blue. We've been raised, you know, what's the, what's the teacher workforces like? 80 to 90% women I think are here in Australia. Anyway, it's something absurd, like the pendulum has swung so far.
[00:26:54] Clinton Hall: The other way that our emotional influences, our emotional goals, and then you can almost lean into that rite of passage work like when [00:27:00] we are boys and young men. That's all been blurred. And again, too, I was raised by a woman with a sister in a very feminine home, and I was taught to be the sensitive new age.
[00:27:08] Clinton Hall: I remember my mom, oh, you're a snag. You're a snag. I'm like, what the fuck does that even mean mom, a sensitive new age guy? Like, you know, like, so that happened in like the eighties and nineties of this conditioning pattern of, you know, you need to be in touch with your emotions. You need to be vulnerable.
[00:27:20] Clinton Hall: You need to be able to openly express how you are feeling. But I was never given the tools or the framework or an opportunity to actually connect with men in that space. [00:27:30] 'cause when I was playing sports. It was competition. It was, there was no sign for weakness. There was no sign for emotion. The only emotion that you felt on the battlefield of sport was celebration and joy when you won the game, when you beat the other team,
[00:27:41] Alessandro: Hmm.
[00:27:41] Clinton Hall: you know, and I, and I think that really plays into it, is obviously that nurture state and what's happened over the past 30, 40 years in modern culture.
[00:27:48] Clinton Hall: You know, a western culture, western society, but at a deeper level we are inherently different. And I think that is just one of the biggest challenges against you if you've been programmed from such a young age to. [00:28:00] Feel emotion, express emotion and and enhance your emotional capacity and emotional intelligence, but don't actually even understand what that means because you're a boy, a man, a male in a modern world, like where does it leave you?
[00:28:11] Clinton Hall: It doesn't leave you with any confidence. It literally disables you, disempowers you, and makes you put your hand up and say, well, this isn't fair. This is not what I was taught. This is not what I was shown. Why does the game feel so unfair?
[00:28:24] Alessandro: Had love to, let's, let's bring it back to
[00:28:26] Clinton Hall: Back
[00:28:27] Alessandro: to the father aspect,
[00:28:28] Clinton Hall: father aspect of
[00:28:28] Alessandro: this man and woman [00:28:30] distinction. You're about to have a
[00:28:31] Clinton Hall: Have a boy. Yes. Two girls.
[00:28:33] Alessandro: girls.
[00:28:34] Clinton Hall: Yes.
[00:28:35] Alessandro: What are
[00:28:35] Alessandro: you
[00:28:35] Clinton Hall: Whatcha scared of,
[00:28:38] Alessandro: repeating with
[00:28:40] Clinton Hall: oh,
[00:28:41] Alessandro: with your, your boy. What are you scared of? Repeating.
[00:28:44] Clinton Hall: from, from my childhood.
[00:28:46] Alessandro: Hmm.
[00:28:46] Alessandro: Or with my children,Well, specifically in parenting, your, your, your, your son coming
[00:28:52] Clinton Hall: specifically. Yeah. Yeah. Abs absolutely. I, well, again, too, like my, my biggest fear is he's [00:29:00] being like my old man, you know?
[00:29:01] Alessandro: Hmm.
[00:29:02] Clinton Hall: I remember as a young man distinctly saying, I, I remember I was maybe 10 and I was walking home from school with one of my schoolmates, and I remember saying we were talking about beer.
[00:29:11] Clinton Hall: 'cause his old man drank and my old man drank and they drank vb. And again, I know you spent some time in Aand, uh, in Australia, Alessandro. So you know what VB is? It's, it's poison in a brown bottle. Yeah. For a hard earned thirst. And I remember saying to my mate, and it was just clear as day, we're on the footpath here and we must've just been having a discussion about our drunk dads the [00:29:30] night before and.
[00:29:31] Clinton Hall: I said, oh, I'm never gonna grow up. I'm never, I mean, when I grow up, I'm never gonna drink beer. I'm never gonna be like my dad. I just remember distinctly saying that to him. And then when my father left, you know, it was like, that was my mother's shaming tool was like, you're just like your father. You look like your father.
[00:29:46] Clinton Hall: You're gonna be just like your father. And so that became my motivation to pull the pendulum full the other way and dissociate from my father figure. And then literally.
[00:29:55] Alessandro: Hmm.
[00:29:56] Clinton Hall: only tool of capacity I had as a father was to do the opposite of [00:30:00] what he did, and that also then flowed into my intimate relationship as well.
[00:30:03] Clinton Hall: How do I be the opposite of my father? Well, I don't drink. Um, you know, I, I certain things. I don't use certain language. I became passive. I became, you know, like you said, the Robert Glover model. I became the nice guy, but as a parent and now becoming a parent of a young man. I am just so armored with such an arsenal of tools to be able to hold space for my son to be able to teach [00:30:30] him how to feel, how to connect, how to communicate, how, I mean, I and I, I have this incredible property.
[00:30:35] Clinton Hall: I live here on the farm. We have access to growing food, raising animals, hunting. You know, I, I'm just so excited to be able to share. All of those pivotal growth moments with him that I didn't get as a, as a young man, but also to, I genuinely, I mean, I don't wanna wish my life away, but I genuinely look forward to the day when he starts to push back, when he gets to that age of 13 or 14.
[00:30:58] Clinton Hall: And, and, and we need to go [00:31:00] out in the bush and we need to get naked, and we need to skin a beast with our bare hands. You know? I'm just so genuinely excited for that, Alessandro. But yes, my biggest fear is to not be there for him. Because that was the wound that I held for the longest. You know, when I was a young man and my father left, the biggest wound that I held was I was not worthy, I was not lovable, I was not enough.
[00:31:21] Clinton Hall: And that evolved. Again. I only know this now. Well, you know, I've only developed this over the last 10 years of how I seek external validation, how I seek love, how I seek com, how I seek [00:31:30] comfort from women in particular.my goal and my role is to just ensure that my son. Feels held, feels safe, and feels loved just as he is.
[00:31:40] Clinton Hall: Just how he is, just how he behaves and that I'm always gonna be there for him, mate.
[00:31:44] Alessandro: I love that. I love that. Even as you share that, I just even think of my own wound. Like, it's so funny how people all around the world can have the same wound, but from completely different circumstances. Dunno if
[00:31:59] Clinton Hall: Yeah.
[00:31:59] Alessandro: my [00:32:00] story, like my, my father
[00:32:02] Clinton Hall: My father is actually.
[00:32:04] Alessandro: on that spectrum of the, not a drinker or anything like that.
[00:32:07] Alessandro: He, he was, he was not a drinker at all, but he was absent nonetheless. When we were seven years old, my mother, brother and I moved to Australia and my dad stayed back in South Africa. And then. divorced within that process and my dad never came and he never sold his business. And he
[00:32:26] Clinton Hall: business.
[00:32:26] Alessandro: still ran his steel manufacturing business back in South Africa.
[00:32:29] Alessandro: And
[00:32:29] Clinton Hall: [00:32:30] And
[00:32:30] Alessandro: the, the words you
[00:32:31] Clinton Hall: words you used to describe
[00:32:34] Alessandro: your,
[00:32:34] Clinton Hall: your
[00:32:35] Alessandro: your wound,
[00:32:36] Clinton Hall: food are exactly the same words.
[00:32:37] Alessandro: he
[00:32:38] Clinton Hall: Yeah.
[00:32:38] Alessandro: which made me feel like I wasn't enough, which made me also seek from the feminine because that's all I got my attention from.
[00:32:45] Alessandro: And you know, it's
[00:32:47] Clinton Hall: You know, it's just this interesting thing.
[00:32:50] Alessandro: Absent fathers and he wasn't a bad father. My father, like I, and, but yet, and again, I still have this whole thing of I don't want to be the kind of dad [00:33:00] that is absent like he was.
[00:33:01] Clinton Hall: Yeah.
[00:33:02] Alessandro: wanna be the kind of dad who runs a business and, and, and won't be there when his son needs it, or will
[00:33:09] Clinton Hall: When he needs it.
[00:33:09] Alessandro: him things rather than actually be there with him.
[00:33:13] Clinton Hall: absolutely. And. It's so important for a young man to have that healthy masculine embodied role model. Like this is what's missing, this is what was missing for us. And you know, obviously we've recognized the parts of ourselves that have reflected our behaviors and what needs to be worked on. And, [00:33:30] you know, I know a little bit about your story with Julia about, you know, your discovery of like, what is a man, you know, what is a man?
[00:33:37] Clinton Hall: And that's still something that I'm working on every day and, and I'm trying to lead, I'm trying to lead in my relationship with my wife.
[00:33:43] Alessandro: we
[00:33:43] Clinton Hall: We don't,
[00:33:44] Alessandro: we, we don't
[00:33:44] Clinton Hall: we don't stop working. No, no, no. It's, it's eternal man. Unless we wanna go fucking and become a mum. Yeah. No, and that's, that's not an option, man. We're about to, you know, both of us are about to go into the trenches and, and know what it's all about.
[00:33:57] Clinton Hall: Uh, and I, I, I relate to that as well. And I talk to a [00:34:00] lot of men. And interesting that you brought up, and I'm glad that you did. Are we talking about the father wound and. When I bring this up, with my coaching clients as well, is that, you know, when you, and off the bat, we're only gonna go very shallow here is like, you know, what was your childhood like?
[00:34:14] Clinton Hall: It was good,
[00:34:15] Alessandro: Mm-hmm.
[00:34:16] Clinton Hall: you know, it was good. Okay.
[00:34:19] Alessandro: Mm-hmm.
[00:34:19] Clinton Hall: I'm, you know, I'm not here to blame my father. I'm not here to blame your father, but you know, fundamentally how you are raised leaves a wound slash a scar that needs to be addressed [00:34:30] and against. So many men are afraid. To address that scar. They've suppressed the experience.
[00:34:37] Clinton Hall: And what is happening in their adult lives is those patterns are showing up and they're crumbling because they don't have the capacity to actually own, in your words, their shit, own their own emotion, own their incapacity, to be able to hold space because they've never emotionally developed because they didn't have a father who was there in the way that they needed as a young man.
[00:34:58] Alessandro: Hmm.
[00:34:58] Clinton Hall: And that's my biggest [00:35:00] fear.
[00:35:00] Alessandro: has, yeah, John Weinland has a, a beautiful line saying that initiation of of. is not like what it used to be
[00:35:10] Clinton Hall: be.
[00:35:11] Alessandro: like. The rite of passage, so to speak of today is not what it used to be in. in times of old test yourself for the protection of the community or whatever,
[00:35:18] Clinton Hall: Mm-hmm.
[00:35:19] Clinton Hall: It's to actually the strength to face your inner fear, to face your
[00:35:23] Clinton Hall: yes.
[00:35:24] Alessandro: to face your
[00:35:24] Clinton Hall: To face your hurt. Yep.
[00:35:26] Alessandro: when you
[00:35:27] Clinton Hall: And when you actually do that with a maintainer, that's what the mom [00:35:30] day,
[00:35:30] Alessandro: is to, is to face that that wound
[00:35:32] Alessandro: get into the
[00:35:33] Clinton Hall: get into the warrior mindset. So
[00:35:34] Alessandro: you still have
[00:35:35] Clinton Hall: you still have to like
[00:35:36] Alessandro: Bear up and,
[00:35:37] Clinton Hall: Yep.
[00:35:37] Alessandro: and fight, you're doing it to face the shit that you didn't or haven't until now.
[00:35:44] Clinton Hall: Yep.
[00:35:44] Alessandro: imagine that comes up with, with parenting a lot.
[00:35:47] Clinton Hall: Absolutely, man.
[00:35:48] Alessandro: that you're actually having to face.
[00:35:51] Clinton Hall: day. Every day.
[00:35:53] Alessandro: Hmm. Very interesting. Very interesting. What,
[00:35:57] Alessandro: What? I'm, I'm very.
[00:35:58] Clinton Hall: very,[00:36:00]
[00:36:00] Alessandro: Excited about finding out the gender today? To be honest. well, I don't
[00:36:03] Clinton Hall: yeah, I don't think it's gonna be
[00:36:04] Alessandro: be at some point in this.
[00:36:05] Clinton Hall: today.
[00:36:06] Alessandro: you,
[00:36:06] Clinton Hall: you,
[00:36:07] Alessandro: I mean, I'm just gonna use you as
[00:36:08] Clinton Hall: you as a,
[00:36:09] Alessandro: for me.
[00:36:09] Clinton Hall: let's do it.
[00:36:10] Alessandro: would you, view becoming a parent for each gender? Is there
[00:36:16] Clinton Hall: is there any
[00:36:17] Alessandro: in how you prepare as a man?
[00:36:20] Clinton Hall: yes, yes, there certainly is. And, uh, every single time we, we've found out the gender, for no other reason than [00:36:30] being able to be prepared. And again, like I said, 10 years ago when I became a father for the first time, I was completely ill, ill prepared, you know, I and I, I, I started to read the books, but the books around baby sleep and you know, how to look after a baby.
[00:36:44] Clinton Hall: And then that evolved into, I think, um, you know, Steve Biro, raising Girls, raising Boys, and New Manhood. I love his work as well. And there's a whole heap of psychology books around raising kids in love and, you know, they're all incredibly empowering. And then you get to actually. [00:37:00] Trial and error these processes in real time with your child.
[00:37:03] Clinton Hall: And you know, children are incredibly forgiving. You know, you get plenty of opportunities to fix your fuck ups. You get plenty of opportunities to grow with them. You get plenty of feedback, man, and feedback, and look like.behavior, LA language, lash outs, and it changes again too. And again, too, like little women, they are representative of their mother in every single way.
[00:37:25] Clinton Hall: And again, too, from a young age, man, like, you know, you spoke about inherent [00:37:30] differences, you know, and they are just gentler. They're more emotionally attuned, they're more emotional, they're more likely to go off or go inwards or express in every single way, which makes you uncomfortable. So. To answer your question, Alessandro is the answer is yes.
[00:37:45] Clinton Hall: You need to prepare for them differently. And the big reason in this, I think, and again, too, part of my work has, I've evolved with this and this is why I'm so excited to now be able to raise a young man. Is that in a nutshell, is your role. My role, again, everyone is gonna [00:38:00] define their own roles, I believe, but your role as a man for a young woman is to model the behavior.
[00:38:06] Clinton Hall: That she will be accustomed to, that she will grow with and that she will want from her future relationships. You do that by the way you treat their mother, and you do that by the way you treat them. What is it like to have a masculine role model in the home that protects them, that can hold his own emotions and contain space for them?
[00:38:26] Clinton Hall: That can teach them, that can guide them, that can lead them, that can protect them? [00:38:30] And what does it look like to be treated by a man who embodies. That system and holds deep space and connection with their mother. So I am the gold standard for my daughters, you know, if I want my daughters to grow up thinking that alcoholism, abuse, arguments, DV or whatever it looks like, rage, anger, short fuses, if I, if I want them to grow up and think that that's the norm.
[00:38:56] Clinton Hall: Then that's why I embody. But coming to that realization early is [00:39:00] that this is my role is to embody what I want them because they fucking deserve it. Man, these kids are just incredible. I'm not gonna show you photos, I'm not gonna get on my whole house and tell you how incredible they are, but they are absolute gifts from God, and I'm so great.
[00:39:13] Clinton Hall: I can if you want. I'm so grateful for them and I'm so grateful that, you know, I get to create opportunities for them and I get to share life with them. On the flip side. What is your role as a man and as a father to a son? It's, it's the opposite of that. [00:39:30] Your role is to embody through your own leadership and your own action, not through your words.
[00:39:35] Clinton Hall: Words are empty, man is what it is like for them to grow up to be a man. So, what it looks like to, to, to align your speech with your words, you know, integrity, what does it look like to honor your word? What is, what values. Do you establish within your family unit that they need to embody and align with so that they can fulfill their role in the world?
[00:39:56] Clinton Hall: You know, what does it, again, do? What does it look like to treat a woman? What does it [00:40:00] look like to work? What is the purpose behind work? Again, to having a father that embodies these, these attributes and lives his life by that standard is just gonna open up so many opportunities for him. And again, too, like I'm, I'm incredibly grateful for the life I live.
[00:40:17] Clinton Hall: I've learned things the hard way. I just really. I really hope that he can come to a level of understanding that I didn't have to come to when I was 40. When he's 20. And you know, this is my role as a father, [00:40:30] is to embody the behaviors that he is gonna take on as a young man, as a boy, through example.
[00:40:37] Alessandro: I love that. I love that. So if you're listening to this, I think that's very and well worth repeating. When you are parenting a daughter, you are embodying or. Almost being a role model for who they're going to be with. Because regardless of, of whether judgment on this, it is [00:41:00] what is going to happen.
[00:41:01] Alessandro: They will, their, their fundamental idea of what a good partner is, will be based off of you, whether you are good or bad. Um, it'll be based off of you. And then for a man, it's not about the words. I think that's also why, I think that's also why a lot of men hold. Wounds for their fathers is they always told them what they should be rather than embodied what they should be. And we do not listen to words. We, we, we watch, kids watch. so yeah. So if you are parenting a [00:41:30] boy, then it's about embodying and, and discipline. Not to say that you shouldn't have discipline body for, for a, for a, for a daughter. But yeah, I think that's a really beautiful way of doing it is, is, is to look at it through those frames.
[00:41:41] Alessandro: 'cause I think it, the, how you view the angle.
[00:41:44] Clinton Hall: View Yeah. And going back to what. You said just earlier is that boys are different and girls are different. So it's that action, it's that behavior that you model that, especially young boys, that's how they're gonna receive. That's how they're gonna learn and that's how they're gonna [00:42:00] act. So from a very young age, you are gonna be aware of this, my man.
[00:42:04] Clinton Hall: I know that. I'm aware of it this time around. Uh, yes, there's a huge element of fear. Um, am I good enough? Will I fuck this up? Let's hope I don't, but you know. I'm quietly confident man, and I'm quietly excited as well.
[00:42:18] Alessandro: Sounds amazing. How can
[00:42:19] Clinton Hall: How do people
[00:42:20] Alessandro: get in
[00:42:21] Clinton Hall: get.
[00:42:21] Alessandro: you? How can, how would you like them to, to react with you online? I'm gonna put links down on the
[00:42:27] Clinton Hall: At the bottom, but lemme know like what is,
[00:42:29] Alessandro: that you are [00:42:30] excited about right now that you'd like people to, to get in touch with that you're doing?
[00:42:33] Clinton Hall: yeah, absolutely appreciate it. Alessandro. my Instagram handle is Elmar life. Uh, that's where I share content. Absolutely. Thank you. Link down below. reach men that way. Dms, absolutely. Everything I do is by myself. There's no automated chats or chat bots or anything like that. We have deep conversations and real conversations.
[00:42:53] Clinton Hall: Sorry for mind. I have to way too many, uh, appreciate that brother. Maybe, maybe one day. Maybe one day. And again, we, we've had that discussion about [00:43:00] automation, in the past. you know, it's really important that men actually feel safe and, you know, it's important that you and I and men like us doing the work and open up space and capacity for other men around the, around the planet that are having challenges and, you know, to know that they're not alone and there's help out there.
[00:43:14] Clinton Hall: So, you know, obviously Instagram is one. The other one is my website, uh, which is www.er life.com au. Uh, it's in evolution as well, but it's usually got links to any events that I hold as well as access to resources and then access to myself and my subscription [00:43:30] and email lists. So, you know, send out emails as well, similar to yourself.
[00:43:33] Clinton Hall: And I run here on my farm. Uh, what I can label either embodiment retreats, masculine leadership retreats, men's retreats, men's work.
[00:43:42] Alessandro: Hmm.
[00:43:44] Clinton Hall: we are running them seasonally here on the farm, and that's. Another aspect, and we didn't get to that point today, Alessandro, but I hold events here for men. And again, going back to that embodiment, those actions, the physical behaviors that a man can actually learn, to be able to.
[00:43:59] Clinton Hall: Release [00:44:00] emotion, access, emotion, build a network, build a brotherhood. This is incredibly important. And you know, these events really, really light me up as well. We have, I work with my, one of my business partners who's the dad, coach Australia, and we facilitate events here on the farm and it's called the Primal Collective.
[00:44:15] Clinton Hall: And it's something that I'm probably most proud of, to be honest, mate, to be open up to crack open men, to open up my farm, to open up my home. And we dive deep into the work. We build trust. We build connection. We have rights of passage practice. We access the [00:44:30] father wound through ceremony. Uh, we do breath as well.
[00:44:34] Clinton Hall: Breath work, neuro nervous system regulation and body regulation and self-regulation is a big part of my work again, too. It's something that I'm very proud of. It's probably one of the biggest things that's moved the needle for me, being able to learn how to regulate, regulate my body. Act and respond with praise to the stimulus accordingly, as opposed to be able to react from old patterns and behaviors.
[00:44:55] Clinton Hall: so yeah, the Primal Collective as well is something that I'm really passionate about. And again, to, if, [00:45:00] if anyone lives locally, close to Melbourne, close to Sydney, uh, it's a rural adventure. But again, to, yeah, if anyone's interested in the work that I do there, appreciate the, the shout out. Appreci out a call out.
[00:45:10] Clinton Hall: I'd love to have a conversation. Alessandro,
[00:45:12] Alessandro: Fantastic. Well, I, I
[00:45:14] Clinton Hall: I, I'm sure.
[00:45:14] Alessandro: to, to one of your retreats one day. Where are,
[00:45:17] Clinton Hall: One day.
[00:45:17] Alessandro: like
[00:45:18] Clinton Hall: day we'll make it happen.
[00:45:19] Alessandro: bit more? Yeah, I wanna spend more time in Australia. Alright my
[00:45:23] Clinton Hall: Alright? Amen.
[00:45:23] Alessandro: that was an absolute pleasure and thanks for joining.
[00:45:27] Clinton Hall: You're welcome man. Thank you.
[00:45:28] Alessandro Frosali: That's the episode. That's all I got for you [00:45:30] today. I just want you to remember you're not alone in this. Make sure you subscribe to stay connected, of course, and comment your win. You know? 'cause every time a man sees other men winning, they don't feel alone anymore, and I love that tools are in the show notes, starting with the better husband in two minute emails.
[00:45:45] Alessandro Frosali: Let's build this together. I'll see you next week.