Voices of Hope NRV

Mike Wade

• New River Valley Community Services • Season 1 • Episode 20

Share episode

Use Left/Right to seek, Home/End to jump to start or end. Hold shift to jump forward or backward.

0:00 | 40:50

Mike Wade is a lifelong resident of Virginia’s New River Valley and has worked at NRVCS for more than 26 years. As Coordinator of Community Wellness and Outreach, Mike is responsible for the agency’s external communications and media relations. In 2018, he added supervision of the NRVCS prevention team to his job, eventually rebranding that work as Community Wellness and Outreach.

Mike blends his background in journalism and graphic design with a genuine desire to have a positive impact on the community he has always called home.

SPEAKER_01

Hey everyone, and welcome to Voices of Hope. I'm Ross Wilsie, and I'm Mike Wade. Each episode, we sit down to talk about what it means to live well, physically, emotionally, spiritually, and beyond.

SPEAKER_00

We'll look at how wellness shapes us as individuals, families, communities, and even the wider world around us.

SPEAKER_01

Through real stories and honest conversations, we'll explore what hope looks like and how it grows, right here in the New River Valley. Thanks for joining us. This is Voices of Hope. Mike Wade is a lifelong resident of Virginia's New River Valley and has worked at NRVCS for more than 26 years. As coordinator of Community Wellness and Outreach, Mike is responsible for the agency's external communications and media relations. In 2018, he added supervision of the NRVCS prevention team to his job, eventually rebranding that work as Community Wellness and Outreach. Mike blends his background in journalism and graphic design with a genuine desire to have a positive impact on the community he has always called home. Good, Ross. Good, good. So yeah, if you missed the the previous episode a couple weeks ago, um, we are doing just a two-episode series basically of um you know interviewing each other. So last time Mike interviewed me, and um this time I'm interviewing him. So I'm pretty excited. Um we'll we'll get started with what we usually ask our guests, Mike. Um just share a little bit about your background, where you're from originally, your education, and that type of thing.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, sure. Um so as you noted in the intro, I am a lifelong resident of the New River Valley. I grew up in Giles County. I uh graduated from Narrows High School and went on to um study at Concord College, which is now Concord University. But back then, when I went to school, it was Concord College, and I uh obtained a bachelor's degree in graphic design, also known as commercial art, and a minor in advertising. So I work for a behavioral health agency now. It doesn't make much sense, but here I am. I bet, yeah.

SPEAKER_01

I bet that looked a little different, uh, the graphic design side of things um than it would today.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. I mean, you know, back then, and I'm really sounding like an old guy, but back then, I mean, most of what we did was by hand.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Wow. Um I even had a a course that was a full semester, and it was on hand-drawn lettering. Really? Well, that's interesting. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That'd be a cool course to take. Yeah, it really was. And I have a true appreciation for fonts and serifs and all the like really nerdy things about text.

SPEAKER_01

That's why so that's why you're always bugging me about which tech which fonts to use.

SPEAKER_00

That is exactly why, yeah. Yeah, yeah, it was drilled into my head as a very uh young adult and stuck with me. Okay. Um, but anyways, no, um, I really learned a lot from from that. And um my career goal at that point was to become like an illustrator and work for like an ad agency in a larger city and that kind of thing. And um while I was waiting around for someone to take me up on my offers of letters and you know, chances to come in and show my portfolio of work, I was sitting at home with not much to do, and I got a call that the um newspaper in Giles County was looking for a part-time proofreader. And I love to write, and you know, I love English uh and uh thought, well, what the heck, you know, just to buy some time and have some spending money to walk around with. Yeah, I'll just go do this part-time gig and you know, then leave and go on to a big city and become a famous illustrator and all the things. Well, obviously that didn't work out. Um, but I did find a home at the newspaper and really um discovered that I truly enjoyed um that work. And about two weeks after I started that part-time gig as a proofreader, the paper's sports editor left, and I was asked to step into that role, a full-time position, and you know, I was 21, 22. You know, they were gonna pay me to go out and watch games and write about them. Sure, sure, I can do that. So uh I I did that, and uh that lasted for a couple of years, and then you know, the the newspaper thing just kind of stuck, and I really enjoyed what I was doing, and then uh I got a chance to step up and be the general news editor at the uh ripe old age of 25. Wow. And so um I was responsible for the the the bulk of the content of a weekly community newspaper pretty much at that age. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was it was a really great opportunity, and I did that for a few more years, and then eventually the job at New River Valley Community Services came up in early 2000. And uh I uh saw that as a neat opportunity, and I guess we can talk more about why later, but um that uh got things started, and I've been here ever since. So for the course of my 34 years in the workforce, I've received W-2s from two employers.

SPEAKER_01

Wow, that's that's kind of unheard of these days, but yeah, it's a little it's a little bit of an anomaly, I suppose. Yep, yep. I'm just curious, um, did you ever submit any of your work to um I don't know, magazines or other publications like The New Yorker or something like that? Did you ever get into any of that?

SPEAKER_00

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. So so the art thing, um I have continued to dabble in, and it's kind of just been sort of this thing that I've done on the side. And honestly, it's more about um just mental wellness and therapy for myself, having something therapeutic as an outlet to do. But I'm fortunate in that I've got, I guess, enough ability that some people like my work enough to pay me to do things for them or to hang stuff on their wall. And I'm I'm incredibly grateful to have that kind of um audience. But I mean, even if no one paid me, I'd still be probably drawing stuff just to do it. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01

All right. Well, we talked a little bit about this in in my episode a couple weeks ago, but like me, you're a husband and a father. So I'd love to hear a little bit about your family and and what that means to you.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, yeah. Well, I couldn't talk about my family without talking about my mom and dad. Um they've been such a powerful influence and and guiding light for me over the course of my lifetime. Um my mother, who passed away back in 1999 from breast cancer at the age of 45, was um a social worker. She worked uh for the Head Start pro the local Head Start program and also worked for the local department of social services. And um just kind of I think her wiring kind of uh spilled over into my life. And um I found the job at NRBCS not long after she had passed away. Okay, and it just seemed to be a really good fit because I wanted to do something that made me feel closer connected to her. Right. You know, yeah. Uh but yeah, losing her was was profound for me in many ways. And and there's a lot of stuff that I didn't realize at the time that was kind of a byproduct of just my grief and struggle to cope uh with her not being in my life anymore because you know she was she was 16 when she had me. Wow. And in a lot of ways I felt like we kind of grew up together, yeah. Um she was a constant in my life until she wasn't anymore. And it took me a while to adjust to that. And I'm sure. Um, yeah. So so, anyways, I I wanted to do something that that made me feel more connected to her, that I was, you know, trying to carry on some kind of legacy on her behalf or or something. Uh and then my dad, who I'm fortunate to still have in my life, is uh just one of the most genuine people that I think you could ever encounter. And his work ethic uh is certainly something that he handed down to me. And uh his sense of loyalty and just uh taking care of business is something that uh has really kind of driven me my entire life. So yeah, so they're great uh influences on me and and why I am who I am today, uh in in many ways.

SPEAKER_01

I've never met your your dad, but I've heard you talk about him several times, and every time you do, it's in the same way you just spoke of him just now. So that's really cool to have have that in your life.

SPEAKER_00

So yeah, yeah. He's um he's my ball cap wearing Yoda. Yeah. Nice. He really is. Um that's cool. Yeah, so uh my wife, Brennan. Well, I mean, there's just so many things that I could say about her. She is um definitely my soul mate, she's my best friend. Um, she is she brings me so much joy in just being able to um experience life and not take myself too seriously. Yeah. She makes me laugh a lot. Uh we make each other laugh a lot. Um and um, yeah, we're just really a good fit. We're different in a lot of ways, but at the same time, whatever the chemistry is there uh definitely works and uh we're still we're still as tight as we were, you know, back at the beginning of all this. So uh she's um she's just a wonderful person, a huge heart. She is a social butterfly. You know, when you talk about opposite opposites, you and I have spoken a lot about how we are both introverts. Yes. Um, and I would probably stay at home most of the time if it were not for my wife. Why would you not? But she she gently nudges me out into the uh public and gets me around other people, and that's good for me. Yes, we we have similar experiences in that way.

SPEAKER_01

So yeah.

SPEAKER_00

So even though I push back on that sometimes, it is it is good for me. But she's um she's just a wonderful person, she has a huge heart. She has so many, not just like acquaintances, but really, really good friends. I I sometimes am amazed by just how closely connected she is to so many different people that she has that she has encountered from all aspects of her life. I mean, from she's got diehard friends from like kindergarten, and then she's got people that she works with now that she's only known for a couple of years, but I mean she she's just one of those people that just I don't know, she's like a magnet and just draws people in. And wow, that's she loves them all so hard and so much. I'm very fortunate that uh that a lot of her heart gets spent on me. Um she's great, she's phenomenal. I could I could talk all day about her, yeah. Uh, and then uh our kids, we have uh two adult children. Uh our daughter, Olivia, is 27. She works in uh banking uh and is having a really good career. Um, she's in a loving relationship and seems really, really happy. And uh yeah, I mean she's just doing great. I'm so proud of her. Nice. Um, and then our son Isaac uh just turned 24, just got married, which is really yeah. Congratulations to him. Yeah, to you. Thank you, thank you. And uh and he works in trades, he uh he does uh security system installations and has done uh really, really well for himself. And uh yeah, my my kids are just two really great human beings, and they're like night and day, they're they're nothing alike in many ways, uh-huh. But um, but just really incredible young people who are absolutely contributing to society in a positive way. And um gosh, I'm just I'm I'm incredibly lucky to be their father. Um yeah, yeah, it's it's it's amazing.

SPEAKER_01

Well, I'm sure they're they would say they're incredibly lucky to have you as a dad. So uh speaking of which, um how would you describe yourself as a dad? And you know, what are some of the more significant things you've learned as a father?

SPEAKER_00

Well, I would probably describe myself as um imperfect but well-intentioned. And maybe that's just me as a person in general, but um probably also applies to my um role as a father. Uh I would like to think that I am uh supportive and encouraging and consistent. Yeah. Like the kids always know what they're gonna get when they call me. Um no surprises, you know. I I try to be as steady as I can be. Uh, and I don't always have the answers. I mean, they've they've both gone through stuff uh and they've been challenged in in the early stages of of their lives. And you know, sometimes I'm at a loss for words to support them. Right. But you know, they always know that I have a set of ears that will listen. And I think I think sometimes as parents we put pressure on ourselves to have the answers when really maybe that's not what our kids are looking for. Right, right. They just want to be heard. Yeah, great point. So I hope I hope my kids feel that they get that from me, nothing else.

SPEAKER_01

Uh-huh. Yeah. Well, have you learned anything about yourself um as a father? Have you has being a father like led to any big revelations about who you are as a person? It's a kind of a deep question.

SPEAKER_00

But yeah, I mean, I I feel like my parents set such a high bar. Uh-huh. Yeah. They were just so, so good in different ways to be to to make my siblings and I uh feel supported and loved and you know, gave us a chance to be well-rounded. You know, I I think sometimes about like growing up in Giles County, you know, small town of Narrows, central Appalachia. Um, and I'm sometimes taken aback by how in some way my siblings and I were able to have a more worldly perspective and see see the world as a bigger place than just the community that we lived in. And my parents all gave us, I think, the space to explore for ourselves and learn about things and think outside the box, if you will.

SPEAKER_01

Right.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. About life and and what what was possible. Um and so I I think I I benefited from having parents with really open hearts and open minds. And I certainly hope that I've passed that on to my kids. I I I would not call myself a helicopter parent in any way. I think I I have always kind of taken the approach that my kids have the ability to navigate life with the foundation that they were given very early on.

SPEAKER_01

Uh-huh. Knowing that they have you as a support there if they need it, right?

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, um they've got they've got a supportive family, and um, you know, if if they hit bumps in the road, they know they've got people they can lean on.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00

And so I guess I've I guess I've just learned to kind of like recognize that I can't control everything that happens to them, good or bad.

SPEAKER_02

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_00

You know, that's hard. Life happens, life happens. Yeah, and you have to let your kids experience both the highs and the lows of life, right? To appreciate the middle ground that we spend most of our time in, right?

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Um yeah.

SPEAKER_01

That takes a lot of um, I don't know what the right word is, but I was gonna say courage, but it just takes a lot of something to to get to that point where you're able to let go and realize that they're gonna be better off uh hitting those highs and those lows and not just trying to make everything like I said in my episode, I want them to have everything and just to like have a be happy all the time, you know. But that's not that's not the healthy thing for that. That's not what they need.

SPEAKER_02

So yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, yeah. Well, you know, and despite the areas where I've obviously come up short or or goofed up or made mistakes, they've been able to um to to work through those in their own way and come out being the you know really great young adults that they are. So yeah, you know, I don't know. I can't take any credit for for what's happened, but um I'm just grateful. I'm grateful for where they are in life. And um yeah, that's that's a that's a really deep question. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Hey, we we went there, so yeah, yeah, you sure did. So just wanted to hear a little bit more about your journey here at NRVCS and how uh you can tell as much or as little as you want about how you were drawn to behavioral health. You've already mentioned your mom. Um and then just how you sp arrived in the specific position you're in today.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. Um so I mentioned that I was working at the newspaper when my mom passed away. And, you know, I love the newspaper work for lots of reasons, but it's also a demanding field to be in. Right. And I was working a lot of hours, and you know, the kids were coming along, and you know, it's not very conducive for a family life. So I was looking for a bit of a change in that regard, on top of trying to find a way to do work that was more in line with what my mom had done. Yeah. And so lo and behold, like a couple of months after mom passed away, this job opportunity at NRVCS came up, and it was um for a community relations specialist. Okay. And it was basically um the job description was someone who would write press releases and um, you know, do media relations and uh internal communications and that kind of stuff. So I saw it as, well, this is just my chance to uh be on the other end of the questions instead of asking the questions. I would now be answering the questions. Yeah. And so it seemed like kind of a natural like flip of the coin to go to that other side. Um, and I had some familiarity with the agency just because of my mom and her work. Um, she made mention of NRVCS a few times here and there over the course of her uh her career. And so I knew of the agency. I didn't understand the scope of the services that uh we provide, but um, it just seemed like an opportunity to do something different. Uh and so I took that on and um did the community relations piece for the first 15, 16 years of my career and solely concentrated on that. And then um about 10 years ago, I was given an opportunity to take on some supervision of a portion of the prevention services team. And uh so started doing that, and then eventually, probably two years after that, took on just primary uh responsibility of supervising pr prevention services, but also holding on to the uh community relations PR aspect of my work.

SPEAKER_01

Right.

SPEAKER_00

And so uh yeah, I've been the full-time prevention prevention supervisor slash PR guy for about 10 years now.

SPEAKER_01

Okay. I'm sure there have been quite a few changes over the years, but what what are some of the more notable changes you've seen in behavioral health, maybe prevention as a field specifically? Um either either one over the years.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, yeah. Well, as I look back over the course of 26 years, you know, the one the one event that stands out to me more than anything and and maybe Maybe changed a lot for many of us was the tragedy at Virginia Tech back in 2007. Correct. At the time, I wasn't connected to prevention in any way uh and was just solely doing the PR work. Yeah. But um that incident really, I think, caused our community to think more about behavioral health issues.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Um, the impact of trauma and the importance of people getting care and staying connected to help. And recognizing too, I think that that more people lived and struggled with behavioral health challenges than maybe we realized before.

SPEAKER_01

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_00

Yep. Um, and I think if you go back and look at the data from our service numbers and the number of staff that we have on board, probably from that time we have grown tremendously. Right, right. I think more people are looking to get help. More people recognize that they might need someone to talk to. And we have tried to, I think, uh, in a lot of ways, expand our services to meet that ever-growing need. I don't think we can ever truly keep pace with the need that's out there. But when you think about the fact that when I first came to work at NRVCS in 2000, we had about 225 employees. Yeah. And now we're at like 860 or something like that, I think. Yep. I mean, that kind of growth, we wouldn't be doing that if there wasn't such a need for the type of services that we provide. So j I think just the overall growth and and the number of people who are seeking help has been a big turn for me in what I've experienced. Uh and then obviously the issues around overdose, the prevalence of opioids in our community, um, just the number of people that have been impacted by that alone, and the the um immediate threat of things like fentanyl. Yeah. You know, it's just scary.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, it is, and it's a lot different than even 10 years ago. Yeah. Um things are changing all the time.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. And I think just from a prevention aspect of of the work that our agency does, we historically, up until several years ago, we tended to spend a lot of staff time and resources on classroom-based prevention education. Uh-huh. Um doing some kind of version of, I think, what most people would recognize as like a DARE program type thing. Right. Where we're trying to educate young people about the dangers of substances and, you know, trying to get them to avoid experimenting with them, that kind of thing. And that that kind of programming certainly has a place. But once I kind of got into prevention and and began to like really like get my bearings on what we were supposed to be doing and what what the biggest challenges were for the community, I recognized that we needed to take more of a public health approach to prevention. Because yes, we don't want young people to use substances or experiment with them, but man, there's just so much more to this. Right. As we, as we know. I mean, why do people use substances? Why do people struggle with mental health challenges? And we know because the research has pointed to it, and there's a lot of evidence behind it, that a lot of this boils down to adverse childhood experiences, childhood trauma.

SPEAKER_01

Yep.

SPEAKER_00

And we we can't we can't be effective with prevention unless we truly understand, recognize, and address those issues around adverse childhood experiences and childhood trauma. Yeah, right. Because so much of what we see from the treatment, recovery, harm reduction side of things in this big scope of substance use services and and recovery, I mean, it all gets linked back to childhood trauma. Right. You know, we we had the episode what a couple of months ago with our friend Joe Klein. Yeah. And he said probably what, 95% of the people that he works with that have a substance use problem, they have a history of trauma. Yep. Yep. So it's not it's not rocket science. Um we obviously have to continue to pour resources into treatment, recovery, harm reduction. Those are all important things, but we really need to do more on the front end. Yeah. We really need to invest more in prevention. And I'm not just saying that because that's the work that we do. It just makes sense. Uh-huh. You know?

SPEAKER_01

To me, it does as well. Um, it feels like the the fact that we don't give enough maybe attention or funding to prevention just speaks to like a short-sightedness, to um it's easier to just throw money at things that will see some temporary reductions in numbers or or whatever the case may be. But uh, but we really have to think more long term in the prevention world.

SPEAKER_00

Well, to me, it's just like taking care of your vehicle. Yeah. You can get regular oil changes, right? You know, as as uh the manufacturer recommends, or you can avoid all that and eventually uh wait for your car to break down and you replace the engine. Yeah. Yeah. You know? Exactly. I mean, so so why can't we look at why can't we look at behavioral health issues the same way?

SPEAKER_01

Right. Good question.

SPEAKER_00

And you know, Ross, I'm probably too pragmatic uh with my outlook on this stuff. Uh-huh. But I but I really do think a lot of it's just common sense. And we need to be more proactive than reactive.

SPEAKER_02

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_00

And you've seen you've seen the the research about the value, the return on investment of prevention dollars. Yeah. You know, yeah. The money invested in prevention pays for itself, you know. I mean, it's it's just the smart thing to do. Right. Yep. Yeah, I agree.

SPEAKER_01

We have not figured that out yet. Yeah. Well, hopefully we will soon. I'm I'm hoping. Um, we'll save this for another podcast episode. Yeah, right. Exactly. So just thinking about prevention and how you got into it, what makes you so passionate about prevention on a personal level? And how how did being kind of the PR guy translate to working in in the field of prevention?

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. Um, from a personal level, I have family, um, just like you, Cher, who have been uh touched or affected by behavioral health issues. And so it's important to me from from that aspect. And you know, I just I just really want our communities to be well. I I want what's best for other people. And um I think prevention is a key to a lot of this stuff, as we've talked about already. Um if we got that part figured out better, I think our communities would be healthier. And um, yeah, I mean, from a personal like taxpayer level, it a taxpayer uh perspective, it just makes sense. Like, put my money there. Uh-huh. Yes. You know? Definitely. Um the other part of your question about being the PR guy and doing that work and then it translating into prevention. You know, um, you know this as well as anybody. A lot of the stuff that we do in prevention is about mess messaging.

SPEAKER_01

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. It's about it's about um sharing stories, telling stories, pres presenting facts in a way that people will digest them and, you know, uh make connections. So the words we use matter, you know, when we're talking about behavioral health conditions and the people that live with them. And I think this hope campaign that we've created really just kind of boils it down to the essence of what we're trying to do as a community services board, as a prevention team, um, as human beings for each other, yeah, is generate is generate hope and give people something to look forward to and hang on to, to want to be around for tomorrow.

SPEAKER_01

Right. Yeah, that's to me, that's the essence of prevention is just having hope and and having and just having these strategies that will improve your life uh in whatever way, physical, spiritual, um, things like that, just just being well overall. I mean, to me, that's the essence of prevention.

SPEAKER_00

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. Well, speaking of wellness, um, what do you what do you do to maintain your personal wellness?

SPEAKER_00

Well, my wife would tell you that I don't do quite enough to take care of myself physically. And I also just had my annual physical, my annual checkup, and there's nothing more motivating than having that appointment.

SPEAKER_01

Oh, great.

SPEAKER_00

So as of this recording, I've been to the rec center three days in a row. Wow, congrats. That's awesome. Yeah, yeah. Now, will he stick with it? That's the question. Right. Well, yeah, yeah, yeah. But I I'm not a huge exercise fan. I I I don't really care to uh to work out and do all that stuff, but I know it's good for me and I should. And usually, usually after I do it, I do feel better and yeah, can see the benefits. Right. Um, so there there's that piece of it. Um, I mentioned that creating art for me is is just kind of like a therapeutic practice and and an outlet that allows me to be creative and just kind of like get lost in doing something that I don't have to think much about. It just happens. Sure. Um, and and music, you know, I I do play music, but I'm also just a huge fan of music and being able to um just kind of lose myself in listening to music is a really good way for me to like maintain my wellness, yeah. And I can go from Merle Haggard to Metallica and be perfectly content with any of those. Nice. I have a pretty eclectic taste in in music, um, but I love it. And then um, you know, emotionally, spiritually, I and I've shared this with you, Ross. I've I've been spending some time trying to learn learn more about like Eastern culture and uh Buddhism is is certainly something that's starting to make a lot more sense to me as I get older. Uh and so uh so I'm I'm tapping into my spirituality, I think, by gaining more insight from reading about that kind of stuff and and just kind of being more aware and you know, in the work that we do and the people that we interact with, we've been exposed to a lot more about mindfulness. Yeah, and yeah, and that that makes a lot of sense to me. Right. And so I try to incorporate some of that into my regular routine. And uh yeah, I mean, I'm a pretty content guy. I don't I don't uh I don't have too much to complain about and I don't get too fired up about too much. Yeah. But uh, but I mean I try to just enjoy enjoy the time that I have and appreciate what's around me and the people that are around me. And uh yeah, I I'm grateful for for everything.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. Well, that's great. I mean, that that's something to look up to.

SPEAKER_00

So it's come with age, you know. Right. I think some of that's just from being being older and and having the perspective of living for several decades and uh recognizing that the stuff that I used to get worked up about really isn't such a big deal.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, yeah. Wise words. Well, what does the word hope mean to you?

SPEAKER_00

I'm going to go back to the conversation that you and I had with um Winfred Beal, the retired football coach from Floyd County High School. What a great conversation. What a great conversation. What a great man. He really is. Yeah, he he's just phenomenal. He's he's just a one-of-a-kind human being. Yeah. Um, but when we asked him that question, he said, and I'm paraphrasing because I don't think I'll nail it word for word, but he said something along the lines of things usually are never quite as bad as they seem, and they're never usually quite as good as they seem. Usually we're somewhere in the middle. Right. And that's where hope lies. And and to me, that that made so much sense when he said that. Um that I that I think we just have to we have to remind ourselves that we're gonna go through really tough times. Yeah, we're gonna experience heartbreak, we're gonna lose people we love. Um, things are not gonna go our way all the time. And sometimes we're gonna be on top of the mountain, we're gonna feel like the king of the world, and everything's gonna be looking great for us. Uh and those are those are great moments in our lives, but they also come and go. Yeah. Right. And so the middle of the middle of all that is where we need to expect ourselves to be and where we should really appreciate being.

SPEAKER_02

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_01

What a unique answer. I like that. Did that make any sense? It did. A lot of sense. I'm still I'm still just kind of pondering on it because you know what does that mean to me to to be um living sort of in the middle. That's something to think about. I like that.

SPEAKER_00

Well, I just think as if we as a society got better at being in the middle. Right. Yeah. And I'm not necessarily talking about politics, but I could be.

SPEAKER_01

Sure. Yeah. Um I didn't my mind didn't even go straight to politics. It went other places first, but I can see both. So yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. Yeah. No, I I think we just need to we need to be okay with can contentment. We don't need to pursue anything. Yeah. Let's just be who we are and you know, not not push ourselves too hard or get stuck in the the the hard times. Right. Because those those don't last forever either.

SPEAKER_01

And a lot of that, well, this is good, this is gonna jump way into the deep end here, but but uh I was gonna say a lot of that kind of um can come from comparing yourself to others with social media and yeah, you're always wanting to look better or feel better or uh have the next the the next best version of something or whatever. Yeah. So absolutely. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

So we've we've talked a lot about that too, but yeah, and I don't care who you are, I don't care, I don't care if you're a teenager, yeah, I don't care if you're a 55-year-old guy like I am. With social media and being exposed to all this other stuff that's out there, you can't help but sometimes get caught up in that. Yeah, definitely, you know? So I think you have to be intentional about kind of like separating yourself from that, compartmentalizing it and understanding it for what it is, because people don't usually do Instagram posts of their really crappy days. Right.

SPEAKER_02

You know, right.

SPEAKER_00

So so I mean, consider the source and and have that perspective. And I think that that takes care of some of the envy and jealousy that we might feel when we first see like this really like glorious post of someone's splendid vacation or you know, their big family gathering or wherever that may be.

SPEAKER_01

Right, yeah. All right. Well, I have taken far too much of your time, so we need to to wrap it up. Likewise. I do want to ask what we what we do usually ask our guests at the end and ask if you have any final words of wisdom to share with our listeners.

SPEAKER_00

Um, I've got a few. Okay. And I'm gonna borrow from a couple of different sources. Um, our friend Emily Perkins from uh Giles County Head Start has been quoted many times as saying, the days are long, but the years are short.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

And I think there's a lot of truth to that.

SPEAKER_01

Definitely.

SPEAKER_00

My mother used to always say there just aren't enough hours in the day. And as a young person, I never appreciated that, but as a uh middle-aged man, I certainly know what she's talking about now.

SPEAKER_01

Yes.

SPEAKER_00

And then finally, a quote from the Dalai Lama. And here we go. There are only two days in the year that nothing can be done. One is called yesterday, and the other is called tomorrow. So today is the right day to love, believe, do, and mostly live. Wow. Love that. There you go. You know, us bald guys, we're kind of we're kind of wise. That's right. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Can't argue with that one. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Well, Mike, this has been a great conversation. I've um I don't know. I've learned new things about you, which was sort of unexpected. And uh, I know we still have lots to learn about each other, but this yeah, this has been really neat, this little project of ours.

SPEAKER_00

So Yeah, yeah, I've enjoyed it. Um and uh yeah, probably talk too much, but yeah, you know, here I am. I'm an open book.

SPEAKER_01

Well, thank you so much for sharing everything that you shared in this conversation and being vulnerable and being open to just letting people know more about you. That's uh that's an admirable thing to do, and we will talk to you next time.

SPEAKER_00

Thanks, Ross.

SPEAKER_01

Thanks for listening to Voices of Hope. If you enjoyed today's conversation, we'd love for you to rate and review the podcast and help us spread the word. Voices of Hope is a production of New River Valley Community Services. To learn more or listen to past episodes, visit nrvcs.org slash podcast. And remember, hope grows when we share it. So keep the conversation going, and we'll talk to you next time on Voices of Hope.