WEBVTT 00:00:00.719 --> 00:00:08.000 But it would not be right if I did not share one really, really important piece of our lives. 00:00:08.160 --> 00:00:15.759 And that is today is our 29th wedding anniversary with my amazing wife. 00:00:17.440 --> 00:00:24.079 As you can tell, this photo was taken before the time with the the the the digital photo invent. 00:00:24.160 --> 00:00:27.120 Well, it might have been invented, but 97, maybe not. 00:00:27.359 --> 00:00:34.799 But uh it wasn't affordable, so uh you didn't get to choose the best shot in some of our wedding pictures that were live. 00:00:34.960 --> 00:00:40.079 But uh and and I was as you can tell, I was a little nervous. 00:00:40.240 --> 00:00:45.600 Uh but uh what a what a great date to look back 29 years later. 00:00:46.240 --> 00:00:49.520 And uh and some yeah, so I'm excited. 00:00:49.600 --> 00:00:52.320 It's it's it's fun to celebrate 29 years. 00:00:52.560 --> 00:00:57.600 Uh we we we made it this far, and I can't wait what God is bringing. 00:00:57.759 --> 00:00:59.520 So uh all right. 00:00:59.759 --> 00:01:06.959 Uh we'll we'll have some more celebrating to do, just the two of us, but thanks for allowing me to share this with you and so and rejoice with us. 00:01:07.519 --> 00:01:10.159 The title of today's sermon is The Big Three. 00:01:11.040 --> 00:01:12.959 That's uh it's an interesting title. 00:01:13.040 --> 00:01:18.079 It is the big three decision a person needs to make in life. 00:01:18.319 --> 00:01:19.920 Uh and I'm I'm gonna get to them. 00:01:20.239 --> 00:01:30.159 You know, number one is whether to marry or not, or who to marry, or you know, this this this relation relationship thing is that's a big one, right? 00:01:30.640 --> 00:01:31.040 All right. 00:01:31.200 --> 00:01:34.159 The other one is what do you do for your career? 00:01:34.560 --> 00:01:39.200 Uh you know, you do you study, do you work, do you do you take this job or the next one? 00:01:39.920 --> 00:01:41.439 That's a big one. 00:01:42.079 --> 00:01:43.760 And then where do you live? 00:01:43.920 --> 00:01:45.200 Do you move to this town? 00:01:45.359 --> 00:01:46.400 Do you buy that house? 00:01:46.560 --> 00:01:52.400 Or you know, there's there's those these are these all seem to be big decisions in life. 00:01:52.640 --> 00:01:55.200 So we're going to talk about those. 00:01:55.359 --> 00:02:01.359 Uh one of the one that's even bigger than any of these is whether you follow Jesus or not. 00:02:01.920 --> 00:02:03.920 And we're I'm not gonna talk about that. 00:02:04.079 --> 00:02:10.080 I assume you want to follow Jesus, and if you need help, how to do that, we'd love to help. 00:02:10.240 --> 00:02:12.960 That's that's one of our calling as a congregation. 00:02:13.120 --> 00:02:18.000 We help people discover God's plan for their life through studying the Bible together. 00:02:18.159 --> 00:02:20.319 So just wanted to invite you into that. 00:02:20.719 --> 00:02:26.800 But the you know, I'm not gonna just talk about the the big these big three big decisions. 00:02:27.280 --> 00:02:30.719 I I'm sure you would like me to say, do this, do that. 00:02:30.960 --> 00:02:35.120 Maybe you wouldn't want me to say, because who are you to tell me what to do? 00:02:36.400 --> 00:02:38.639 Uh well, what does God say? 00:02:38.960 --> 00:02:40.560 That's what we're gonna look at today. 00:02:40.879 --> 00:02:50.159 And uh this is gonna be a more of a practical sermon uh because we talked a lot about some of some of the theological background of decision making already. 00:02:50.319 --> 00:02:52.400 So I'm just gonna do a quick review. 00:02:52.639 --> 00:03:01.599 So God doesn't have a very detailed blueprint for everybody's life that you need to better discover because if you deviate, your life's gonna fall apart. 00:03:01.840 --> 00:03:05.280 That's not how God works, that's not how he rolls. 00:03:05.599 --> 00:03:14.960 There's this illustration that we use that God has a larger moral bill of what it means to follow him, what it means to be righteous by God. 00:03:15.199 --> 00:03:21.680 And there's no little dot in the middle somewhere that you have to really hit for you, your personal choices. 00:03:21.840 --> 00:03:26.639 Uh, but God actually gives us a lot of freedom to choose wisely. 00:03:26.800 --> 00:03:28.719 And we're gonna get to that idea. 00:03:28.960 --> 00:03:31.120 Uh, but there's no dot in the middle. 00:03:31.199 --> 00:03:37.680 There's not a specific way that you need to live, a specific career you need to take, a specific person that you need to marry. 00:03:37.919 --> 00:03:47.919 I know that's kind of sounds heretical to some people that grew up in cultures or or even churches that that believed that. 00:03:48.080 --> 00:03:57.759 Uh, the couple of the books that that that I've I've shared that is fun to read, uh, the one that's probably not as fun is the the the The Decision Making and the Will of God by Gary Friesen. 00:03:58.240 --> 00:04:08.879 Uh, that's a little bit more of a scholarly theological book, but the other one, just do something, is something that was written in 2010 for young people to help them with their decision-making. 00:04:09.120 --> 00:04:14.240 We talked about that there are no signs that God uses to point us in the right direction. 00:04:14.639 --> 00:04:21.439 When people were asking Jesus for a sign, he rebukes people, saying, What an unbelievable generation. 00:04:21.839 --> 00:04:26.879 Why do you need a sign when God already revealed you his will from the Bible? 00:04:28.000 --> 00:04:30.160 So, how do we make good decisions? 00:04:30.399 --> 00:04:33.360 And I talked about this idea of the way of wisdom. 00:04:33.519 --> 00:04:49.839 Number one, to storing up God's commands in our hearts, in our minds, to have our thought process, our attitudes, our approaches to life saturated with the things that God communicates us through His scripture. 00:04:50.079 --> 00:04:52.399 So you gotta read a lot of Bible. 00:04:52.879 --> 00:05:00.160 Uh you gotta that's that's the only way you will be able to have a godly perspective when you come to these decisions. 00:05:00.480 --> 00:05:04.000 So I do encourage people to read their Bibles every day. 00:05:04.160 --> 00:05:11.120 Uh, I encourage you to memorize scripture so when you're facing a situation, scriptures will come to your mind. 00:05:11.279 --> 00:05:13.360 And and God wants to help you with that. 00:05:13.519 --> 00:05:16.319 Number two, get good advice. 00:05:17.120 --> 00:05:28.399 Uh, we we when we're alone, our bias, our our our way of seeing the world, our emotions skew a lot of our decision making. 00:05:29.199 --> 00:05:30.000 Do you agree? 00:05:30.319 --> 00:05:30.879 I agree. 00:05:31.680 --> 00:05:34.160 And then lastly, call out for insight. 00:05:34.720 --> 00:05:38.959 Ask God to help you be wise. 00:05:39.199 --> 00:05:42.959 And ask God to help you surrender the decision to Him. 00:05:43.040 --> 00:05:44.480 That's a big important part. 00:05:44.639 --> 00:05:50.560 If you already decided what you want to do and you just want God to rubber stamp it, that's not the God we serve. 00:05:50.800 --> 00:05:54.079 He is the creator of the world and the ruler of the universe. 00:05:54.319 --> 00:05:56.240 He doesn't rubber stamp. 00:05:56.800 --> 00:05:59.680 That's a that's a that's a different way of doing. 00:05:59.920 --> 00:06:02.000 So we're getting to the big three questions. 00:06:02.079 --> 00:06:02.879 Who do I marry? 00:06:03.040 --> 00:06:04.959 What career path do I take? 00:06:05.279 --> 00:06:10.000 And uh actually I I messed up on the third question because I said, where should I live? 00:06:10.240 --> 00:06:13.920 There's no shoulds in this model when you think about it. 00:06:14.160 --> 00:06:20.000 Uh these these are decisions that we we get to make and figure out how to make them best. 00:06:21.199 --> 00:06:24.399 So let me ask you guys a question. 00:06:24.720 --> 00:06:27.120 Why are these decisions hard? 00:06:28.800 --> 00:06:29.439 Oscar. 00:06:29.759 --> 00:06:33.439 Because they have um long-term implications. 00:06:33.759 --> 00:06:34.959 Long-term implications. 00:06:35.360 --> 00:06:35.759 Ivan. 00:06:36.079 --> 00:06:37.199 There's many distractions. 00:06:37.680 --> 00:06:39.199 There's many distractions. 00:06:39.439 --> 00:06:42.720 You know, how do I know if this is the right many choices in many ways, right? 00:06:43.199 --> 00:06:44.800 They can change the course of your life. 00:06:45.360 --> 00:06:51.279 They some of these decisions, you know, you will have a different life if you make this choice versus another one, right? 00:06:53.120 --> 00:06:55.279 It affects the people around you. 00:06:55.759 --> 00:06:57.839 Yeah, who you marry affects the person you marry. 00:06:59.439 --> 00:06:59.759 Yeah. 00:07:00.560 --> 00:07:10.000 You actually it affects everybody else because when I said yes to VDOC 29 years ago, I said no to about five or four point some billion other women. 00:07:10.639 --> 00:07:11.759 Yeah, they all wanted it. 00:07:13.600 --> 00:07:21.920 They were not they were not knocking on my door, but but some of these decisions are exclusive, right? 00:07:22.480 --> 00:07:23.839 Especially marriage. 00:07:24.000 --> 00:07:25.920 Uh but that's how that's how that works. 00:07:26.480 --> 00:07:27.040 Anyone else? 00:07:27.120 --> 00:07:28.079 Any any other thoughts? 00:07:28.319 --> 00:07:29.040 Yeah, Linda. 00:07:29.600 --> 00:07:35.519 I think sometimes you get too much input coming from so many different directions, it's hard to decide. 00:07:36.160 --> 00:07:37.120 Yes, yes. 00:07:37.519 --> 00:07:39.120 Linda, who just moved yesterday. 00:07:39.600 --> 00:07:42.079 By the way, thank you for everybody helping Linda move. 00:07:42.240 --> 00:07:44.399 Uh I heard it it went well. 00:07:44.639 --> 00:07:52.000 Uh so uh we're not gonna put you on the spot and do you as take you as a case study of how did you make the decision or move. 00:07:52.639 --> 00:07:59.199 But but you know, it's it's good to kind of think about how how do we make these decisions, right? 00:07:59.439 --> 00:08:07.839 So, what we're gonna do actually is is we're gonna apply this principle to uh to these decisions. 00:08:08.480 --> 00:08:12.079 We're gonna look at what does the Bible say about these decisions? 00:08:12.800 --> 00:08:15.759 How do I get what how do I get good advice? 00:08:15.839 --> 00:08:18.399 What what are some of the questions I should ask? 00:08:18.720 --> 00:08:23.360 And lastly, uh how do I rely on God for making these decisions? 00:08:23.680 --> 00:08:24.399 Alright. 00:08:24.639 --> 00:08:27.199 I'm gonna start with the hardest ones. 00:08:27.920 --> 00:08:34.879 Uh oh, why this is my this is these are my answers to why are these b these are the big ones and why they are hard. 00:08:35.120 --> 00:08:39.919 Marriage is supposed to be an irreversible, lifelong commitment. 00:08:40.399 --> 00:08:51.440 You do not make those commitments, you shouldn't make them in a easy, oh, let's just marry this person kind of manner. 00:08:51.679 --> 00:08:59.039 You need to think about it because you're you're you're promising something that you better deliver on. 00:08:59.200 --> 00:09:02.799 Otherwise, there's a lot of heartache and hurt. 00:09:04.480 --> 00:09:10.000 Career building requires years of investment, and that might seem to be in vain if you change. 00:09:10.559 --> 00:09:15.679 One of the fallacies that people have is because I already went down this path. 00:09:15.919 --> 00:09:21.679 Even if this is not what I want to do, I've already invested this many years. 00:09:22.000 --> 00:09:24.960 I have to stay on this road. 00:09:25.600 --> 00:09:29.279 Uh it maybe, maybe not. 00:09:30.159 --> 00:09:38.480 And where you live seem to offer uh or limit your opportunities, offer you some opportunities or limit some of the opportunities? 00:09:40.000 --> 00:09:41.919 All right, let's start with the hardest one. 00:09:42.799 --> 00:09:43.679 Marriage. 00:09:44.639 --> 00:09:50.080 Okay, so I I need to say that I understand that this is not an easy topic. 00:09:50.320 --> 00:09:53.679 It might be emotionally a challenging topic to some. 00:09:54.000 --> 00:10:06.720 Uh, some of you have have gone through uh divorce, and and some of your your ideas of marriage have been shattered, and and and there's a lot of pain and hurt, maybe some guilt and shame, even with that. 00:10:06.960 --> 00:10:16.720 Uh there's also singleness that we don't usually uh teach and value in the church as much as sometimes you value marriage. 00:10:17.039 --> 00:10:21.440 Singleness is a valid biblical choice for people. 00:10:22.399 --> 00:10:29.679 You're not less valuable to God because you're not married, and you're not more valuable to God just because you are married. 00:10:30.720 --> 00:10:41.519 God does have a general plan for most people to find a spouse, and that's part of His getting us to fulfill the earth kind of thing. 00:10:42.080 --> 00:10:45.360 But that's not the only plan God has for people. 00:10:45.919 --> 00:10:54.799 But remember, he doesn't have a specific plan for you, he can make you happy and fulfilled whether you're single or you're married. 00:10:55.200 --> 00:10:59.039 God can, God is the source of our happiness. 00:11:00.480 --> 00:11:14.559 So Jesus teaches on marriage, and he actually has this conversation with a group of uh uh religious people, uh, this group called the Pharisees, that uh that come and they really don't want to know the answer. 00:11:14.639 --> 00:11:22.879 Sometimes, you know how that is when people ask you a question and they don't want to know the answer, they just wanna they just want to see how you will stumble in your answer. 00:11:23.120 --> 00:11:23.840 They want to get you. 00:11:23.919 --> 00:11:25.519 That's what the Pharisees want. 00:11:25.840 --> 00:11:41.120 So they they actually, when people have arguments or ideas and and and opinions, they try to get people to support their side, yeah, or they try to get people to come against them so they can pound on them. 00:11:41.600 --> 00:11:44.879 That's what happens in this story in Matthew chapter 19. 00:11:45.440 --> 00:11:46.080 Yeah. 00:11:47.759 --> 00:11:50.159 Isn't the Patriots the greatest dynasty in football? 00:11:50.240 --> 00:11:52.559 And all of a sudden, those of that are not Patriots fans. 00:11:54.000 --> 00:11:58.399 You know, that or people that are Patriots fans were like, yeah, let's go. 00:11:58.559 --> 00:12:01.360 So we'll see how this season goes, turns out. 00:12:01.600 --> 00:12:06.799 But here we go with Matthew 19, verse 3, chapter chapter 19, verse 3 through 11. 00:12:07.120 --> 00:12:09.919 Some Pharisees came to him to test him. 00:12:11.039 --> 00:12:16.960 They asked, Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason? 00:12:18.159 --> 00:12:18.720 Alright. 00:12:19.120 --> 00:12:26.960 You know, maybe you and I, having an understanding of how valuable marriage is realize that this is a bad question already. 00:12:27.200 --> 00:12:31.360 You know, who would think that any and every reason? 00:12:31.600 --> 00:12:43.279 Uh some of there was uh there was a a uh teacher, a rabbi in the in Jesus' time, who believed that even if your wife burnt your food, that is ground for divorce. 00:12:44.399 --> 00:12:48.639 Now, uh I think we've all of us who are married have done worse than that. 00:12:49.840 --> 00:12:50.399 Right? 00:12:50.720 --> 00:12:53.840 So, anyways, so here's Jesus' answer. 00:12:54.000 --> 00:12:54.960 Haven't you read? 00:12:55.200 --> 00:12:56.240 he replied. 00:12:56.480 --> 00:13:01.120 And I love how Jesus quotes the scripture. 00:13:01.440 --> 00:13:04.559 Do you realize how many times Jesus quotes the Bible? 00:13:04.799 --> 00:13:08.480 When Satan tempts him in the wilderness, what does he do? 00:13:08.720 --> 00:13:10.559 He quotes from the Bible. 00:13:10.879 --> 00:13:20.080 Even if Satan quotes to twisted and twists scriptures from the Bible, Jesus quotes more and more grounded ways of answering him. 00:13:20.399 --> 00:13:33.759 Haven't you read, he replied, that at the beginning the Creator made them male and female and said, for this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. 00:13:35.120 --> 00:13:39.519 So that's where he's quoting from Genesis chapter 2. 00:13:40.399 --> 00:13:42.159 But here's his conclusion. 00:13:42.480 --> 00:13:45.600 So they are no longer two, but one. 00:13:47.600 --> 00:13:55.679 And then his answer to the question, therefore, what God has joined together, let men not separate. 00:13:55.919 --> 00:13:59.919 I'm sure you hear that phrase at every wedding. 00:14:00.240 --> 00:14:07.360 Yet 50, more than 50% of those relationships end in divorce, which is sad. 00:14:11.360 --> 00:14:14.240 So you kind of think this is the end of the story. 00:14:14.399 --> 00:14:15.519 Jesus answered. 00:14:15.759 --> 00:14:18.639 People are like, okay, we get it, we get it. 00:14:18.720 --> 00:14:19.519 We agree. 00:14:19.759 --> 00:14:23.200 That's not, that's not, that's not how we are. 00:14:23.600 --> 00:14:26.240 We do have a rebellious spirit. 00:14:27.120 --> 00:14:28.720 So they they come back at Jesus. 00:14:28.799 --> 00:14:29.679 They say, why then? 00:14:29.840 --> 00:14:36.960 They ask, did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away? 00:14:37.679 --> 00:14:46.080 And if you go back to the Old Testament, God provided a way for people to divorce in the Old Testament, in the Old Covenant. 00:14:46.240 --> 00:15:01.679 And part of that was that the man had to give a certificate of divorce to this woman so she can actually find a new husband and be taken care of because women were really exposed when they were alone in that society. 00:15:12.320 --> 00:15:21.519 Now, God sometimes allows us to go through different things and still works with us because our hearts are really not there yet. 00:15:21.840 --> 00:15:24.159 But the goal is for him to work in his hearts. 00:15:24.399 --> 00:15:26.720 He says, But it was not this way from the beginning. 00:15:26.879 --> 00:15:34.080 I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another woman commits adultery. 00:15:34.399 --> 00:15:41.120 The disciples said to him, If this is the situation between a husband and wife, it's better not to marry. 00:15:42.399 --> 00:15:45.679 You know, this is not the Pharisees answering Jesus. 00:15:45.919 --> 00:16:00.720 This is his disciples, uh, his apostles, the people that were traveling with him and listening to him, they realized, whoa, if that is how high of a commitment marriage is, I better think about it twice before I just jump in. 00:16:02.000 --> 00:16:05.279 And that is the Bible's direction. 00:16:06.240 --> 00:16:11.679 Jesus replied, not everyone can accept this word, but only those whom it has been given. 00:16:12.480 --> 00:16:25.279 So the Bible calls us to not marry out of just being emotionally enamored with another person. 00:16:26.960 --> 00:16:32.159 I don't have time to talk about the way infatuation works. 00:16:32.320 --> 00:16:36.960 This is a biological process that attracts males and females usually. 00:16:37.120 --> 00:16:43.120 Uh and and it's chemical, it's biological, God designed it. 00:16:43.200 --> 00:16:46.720 I think without that, we probably would not get along at all. 00:16:47.360 --> 00:16:50.159 But there's this there's this attractional piece. 00:16:50.799 --> 00:16:52.320 That's just my that's my opinion. 00:16:52.399 --> 00:16:54.320 Okay, that's not in the Bible. 00:16:54.720 --> 00:16:56.639 Uh because we're different. 00:16:57.279 --> 00:17:01.120 That attractional piece helps us to kind of bring come together. 00:17:01.440 --> 00:17:14.799 But when you you know studies show that this this idea, this this feeling of infatuation, this this hormonal chemical process fades over a period of 24 to 36 months. 00:17:15.440 --> 00:17:26.000 So people, based on that being in love, as what what popular culture calls it, but it's really not, it doesn't have to do much about love, it has to do with hormones. 00:17:26.160 --> 00:17:32.079 And and you see this other person, you have butterflies in your stomach, your palms are sweaty, your heart starts beating faster. 00:17:32.240 --> 00:17:33.680 That's that's not love. 00:17:34.480 --> 00:17:44.640 That's God's design for attraction, attracting males and females to bring them together, but that's not enough of a basis to make a commitment like that. 00:17:45.119 --> 00:17:46.400 Because it will fade. 00:17:46.480 --> 00:17:57.039 And when it fades, people people usually get divorced and they find trying to find somebody to fall in love with because they're chasing that experience. 00:17:57.279 --> 00:17:58.720 Alright, I did get into it. 00:17:58.799 --> 00:17:59.599 I'm sorry. 00:17:59.839 --> 00:18:03.519 I got I got uh I got I got more more ground to cover. 00:18:03.759 --> 00:18:12.559 So one of the one of the boundaries that God says is like we shouldn't just marry quickly, we need to kind of cost and think about it. 00:18:12.720 --> 00:18:14.880 And the disciples understood that. 00:18:15.359 --> 00:18:21.359 And some people, it's a it's a it's an okay decision not to marry. 00:18:23.920 --> 00:18:29.839 Another boundary that God talks about is in 2 Corinthians chapter 6, verse 14 to 16. 00:18:30.240 --> 00:18:35.519 He says, Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. 00:18:36.240 --> 00:18:38.799 For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? 00:18:38.960 --> 00:18:41.440 Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? 00:18:41.599 --> 00:18:44.559 What harmony is there between Christ and Balial? 00:18:44.880 --> 00:18:47.759 What does a believer have in common with an unbeliever? 00:18:48.000 --> 00:18:51.440 What agreement is there between the temple of God and idols? 00:18:51.680 --> 00:18:55.119 For we are the temple of the living God, as God has said. 00:18:55.359 --> 00:19:00.400 I will live with them and walk among them, and I will be their God, and they will be my people. 00:19:01.279 --> 00:19:09.039 Now, this passage doesn't talk about marriage specifically, but talks about this idea of being yoked together. 00:19:09.279 --> 00:19:13.839 This is a tool that you use to get usually two oxen. 00:19:14.000 --> 00:19:17.599 Most of us don't have uh oxen anymore in this world. 00:19:17.759 --> 00:19:21.680 We do not plow our grounds using animal force. 00:19:22.160 --> 00:19:32.480 Uh but this wooden contraption keeps two oxen locked together, heading in the same direction, and they cannot deviate. 00:19:32.799 --> 00:19:34.720 Isn't marriage a lot like that? 00:19:35.759 --> 00:19:42.960 So the Bible talks about us not getting ourselves yoked together with unbelievers. 00:19:43.279 --> 00:19:48.720 And, you know, unbeliever doesn't necessarily just mean somebody who's an atheist or a Muslim. 00:19:48.960 --> 00:19:53.680 It actually means somebody who is not in a covenant relationship with God. 00:19:53.839 --> 00:19:56.160 It isn't just somebody, oh, I believe in God. 00:19:56.559 --> 00:19:58.559 That's not what this passage talks about. 00:19:58.799 --> 00:20:02.640 Somebody who belongs to God, who has a covenant relationship with God. 00:20:02.880 --> 00:20:10.720 Because what happens is, I don't know if you guys, you know, these are these are salt and pepper shaker, uh, and they have a little magnet in the middle. 00:20:10.880 --> 00:20:12.799 Uh they're cute. 00:20:13.119 --> 00:20:25.920 But the idea is, can you imagine it wasn't just a magnet that you can separate these two plushes, but but you use uh instant glue to put these things these two cute little plushes together? 00:20:26.240 --> 00:20:28.640 And what happens if you're trying to take them apart? 00:20:30.079 --> 00:20:31.519 They they get ripped. 00:20:32.240 --> 00:20:34.640 That's what happens to our souls. 00:20:34.960 --> 00:20:44.799 Now, if they stay together and one of them is a believer, one of them is following God in a covenant relationship, the other one isn't, they're gonna have to make a choice which way they're gonna go. 00:20:45.119 --> 00:20:54.160 And most of the time, because it's harder to follow Jesus than not follow Jesus, the believer compromises. 00:20:54.480 --> 00:20:56.640 But that's that's how it works. 00:20:56.880 --> 00:20:57.839 That's true. 00:20:58.640 --> 00:21:03.039 Okay, so I'm sure do you guys like romantic movies? 00:21:04.640 --> 00:21:05.599 Some people? 00:21:05.839 --> 00:21:06.160 Okay. 00:21:06.400 --> 00:21:07.039 Depends. 00:21:07.279 --> 00:21:08.880 Are you willing to watch one with your wife? 00:21:09.839 --> 00:21:10.720 I don't know how much. 00:21:13.519 --> 00:21:23.519 So there's most of the Hollywood movies are full of stuff that are just not true. 00:21:23.920 --> 00:21:24.240 Okay? 00:21:24.640 --> 00:21:27.359 I know this is probably very disappointing. 00:21:33.759 --> 00:21:41.039 We were actually talking to some of our college students about some of the classic movies and how many of them they haven't watched because they grew up in a different era. 00:21:42.240 --> 00:21:52.720 Uh like I don't even remember what we talked about, all the you know, and not just the Lord of the Rings movie, the Matrix movies, back to the Future movies, Indiana Jones movies, and like, what is that? 00:21:52.799 --> 00:21:54.640 You know, like that's it's a different culture. 00:21:54.880 --> 00:21:56.400 But Jerry Maguire. 00:21:56.799 --> 00:21:57.920 You guys remember that movie? 00:21:59.279 --> 00:21:59.759 A lot. 00:22:00.400 --> 00:22:02.240 You because you complete me. 00:22:04.160 --> 00:22:06.319 Thank you, Reach, for the sound effects. 00:22:09.519 --> 00:22:15.920 So in a lot of romantic movies, there's this idea of finding a soul mate. 00:22:16.480 --> 00:22:18.720 Somebody who completes you. 00:22:25.680 --> 00:22:41.440 And a lot of Christians also believe that God has ordained a person of the opposite gender that is the perfect person for you. 00:22:44.000 --> 00:22:47.359 That teaching is not found in the Bible. 00:22:49.200 --> 00:22:50.480 Nowhere. 00:22:50.720 --> 00:23:05.440 Here's a quote by the book, The Just Do Something, Kevin DeYoung, the author says, I know this will sound very unromantic, especially to some of the ladies, but don't think that there is only one person on the whole planet to whom you could be happily married. 00:23:05.519 --> 00:23:09.599 You're not looking for that one puzzle piece that will interlock with yours. 00:23:10.559 --> 00:23:13.119 You know how this soulmate thing works? 00:23:13.680 --> 00:23:15.200 How you make it work. 00:23:16.640 --> 00:23:24.799 You know, it there's there's many potential husbands or wives that you could make this work with. 00:23:25.519 --> 00:23:29.680 There are people that for some reason have had multiple spouses. 00:23:30.240 --> 00:23:33.759 Some of them lost their spouse to death and and they they remarried. 00:23:34.400 --> 00:23:35.759 There's other ways that happened. 00:23:45.440 --> 00:23:49.359 But then I had this other relationship and it was different. 00:23:49.519 --> 00:23:50.720 We fit together differently. 00:23:50.960 --> 00:23:53.680 It's like the you have to turn the puzzle to a little bit, right? 00:23:53.839 --> 00:23:54.559 That's how it feels. 00:23:54.720 --> 00:24:00.160 But but we we made a way of figuring out it we God made us one. 00:24:00.720 --> 00:24:02.799 And that's what the Bible teaches. 00:24:03.039 --> 00:24:07.200 You know, this idea of you choosing your spouse is a modern one. 00:24:09.759 --> 00:24:13.920 Most of human history, people didn't get to choose their spouse. 00:24:14.079 --> 00:24:15.359 You know what you get to do? 00:24:15.599 --> 00:24:16.960 You get to make it work. 00:24:18.400 --> 00:24:21.279 And people made it work, even if it wasn't their choice. 00:24:21.519 --> 00:24:23.279 I know we cannot imagine that. 00:24:24.000 --> 00:24:29.039 Okay, I'm not gonna get into uh some of the other things that I can get in I could get into. 00:24:29.920 --> 00:24:37.440 Uh like proverbs about beauties fleeing, fleeting, and and that's not that shouldn't be. 00:24:37.839 --> 00:24:45.839 I had a beautiful bride on that day, you could you guys could tell, but but beauty is in the eye of the beholder. 00:24:46.000 --> 00:24:50.319 You will see somebody beautiful no matter what generalized ideas are. 00:24:50.480 --> 00:24:51.759 So that's not a important. 00:24:52.960 --> 00:24:54.720 Let me get into the next thing. 00:24:54.960 --> 00:24:57.279 Get lots of advice. 00:24:57.680 --> 00:25:01.519 I wouldn't trust myself if I was infatuated with someone. 00:25:01.839 --> 00:25:12.160 You know that that uh that that when you're in love with someone, you cannot think straight. 00:25:12.960 --> 00:25:20.720 It those hormones, they don't just make your heartbeat faster or your palm sweat or butterflies in your stomach, they mess with your brain. 00:25:20.960 --> 00:25:21.440 That's true. 00:25:21.680 --> 00:25:22.799 That's how it works. 00:25:23.119 --> 00:25:25.440 So don't trust yourself when you're in love. 00:25:25.680 --> 00:25:27.119 Ask tons of advice. 00:25:27.359 --> 00:25:29.599 What do your spiritually mature friends say? 00:25:29.759 --> 00:25:31.200 How about your family members? 00:25:31.279 --> 00:25:32.640 Do they have any concerns? 00:25:32.880 --> 00:25:34.960 And don't just say, oh, because they're old. 00:25:35.200 --> 00:25:40.240 No, they they might have actually a valid view of looking at you. 00:25:40.880 --> 00:25:42.319 And then lastly, pray. 00:25:42.480 --> 00:25:46.960 I know this is, I'm only giving you guidance, I'm not giving you answers. 00:25:47.279 --> 00:25:50.559 That's everybody needs to figure these things out to themselves. 00:25:50.799 --> 00:26:02.480 Another quote from the book says, Finally, pray less that God would show you who is the right husband or wife, and pray more to be the right kind of husband or wife. 00:26:04.400 --> 00:26:08.799 Dump your list of the 17 things you need in a wife. 00:26:09.359 --> 00:26:14.640 It's talking to guys, and make yourself a list of 17 things you need to be as a husband. 00:26:16.720 --> 00:26:17.119 All right. 00:26:17.920 --> 00:26:18.240 See? 00:26:18.400 --> 00:26:21.279 See how that changes as a Christian. 00:26:22.960 --> 00:26:27.119 The opposite of love is actually hatred, it's selfishness. 00:26:28.079 --> 00:26:37.599 When you're marrying somebody because this is what I want, this is what I'm getting, then your love is really not found in that very much. 00:26:39.279 --> 00:26:48.880 When you're entering into a relationship, here's who I want to be for this person, that's more love and more of the way of Jesus. 00:26:49.119 --> 00:26:51.599 Alright, I know there's there's lots of other things to talk about. 00:26:51.759 --> 00:26:54.559 I don't want to get to get to the other, the big three. 00:26:54.799 --> 00:26:56.000 I know marriage was the biggest. 00:26:56.160 --> 00:26:57.920 The other ones won't be as big. 00:26:58.160 --> 00:26:59.920 Uh career. 00:27:01.759 --> 00:27:03.759 Man, this is not easy. 00:27:03.839 --> 00:27:05.359 Let's start with the scriptures again. 00:27:05.519 --> 00:27:10.400 What does the Bible talk about, say about work and career? 00:27:10.799 --> 00:27:13.039 Uh here's a few scriptures. 00:27:13.200 --> 00:27:26.880 In Genesis chapter 2, verse 15, right in the part of the creation story, the Lord God took the man and put him in the Garden of Eden to sit in a lounge chair and drink margaritas all day. 00:27:27.279 --> 00:27:30.079 No, to work it and take care of it. 00:27:31.519 --> 00:27:32.000 Right? 00:27:32.319 --> 00:27:34.400 God designed even the first human. 00:27:34.720 --> 00:27:35.359 This is before sin. 00:27:38.160 --> 00:27:39.359 This is Adam and Eve. 00:27:39.440 --> 00:27:44.240 In the Garden of Eden, there was work involved. 00:27:44.960 --> 00:27:50.000 Many of us have a really unhealthy and unbiblical relationship to work. 00:27:50.559 --> 00:27:55.359 We think work is bad and and rest is good. 00:27:55.680 --> 00:28:00.079 Now, if you're overworked, I get that. 00:28:00.480 --> 00:28:05.039 You probably need to find a good balance of work and rest and rejuvenation. 00:28:05.680 --> 00:28:11.599 But God, even at the beginning, started out by creating humans to work. 00:28:12.160 --> 00:28:17.599 We are actually not functioning well where we're not engaged in the betterment of this world. 00:28:17.920 --> 00:28:20.960 Serving people, doing something that's useful. 00:28:22.480 --> 00:28:24.720 That brings meaning to our lives. 00:28:25.119 --> 00:28:35.359 In 1 Timothy 5, verse 8, it says, if anyone does not provide for his relatives and especially for his immediate family, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever. 00:28:36.240 --> 00:28:41.200 Now that's that is very strong language right there. 00:28:42.480 --> 00:28:49.759 So you you've we gotta we gotta participate in providing uh and and in some ways. 00:28:49.920 --> 00:28:53.759 And then lastly, 2 Thessalonians 3, chapter 3, verse 10. 00:28:54.079 --> 00:28:59.839 For even when we were with you, we gave you this rule if a man will not work, he shall not eat. 00:29:02.319 --> 00:29:04.319 Thank you, thank you for that amen. 00:29:06.559 --> 00:29:07.119 Right? 00:29:12.240 --> 00:29:16.880 You know, uh everybody is bothered by somebody who's a freeloader. 00:29:17.119 --> 00:29:27.119 Because it's like, come on, get pull, pull your weight, and not we can get judgmental as Christians, and we shouldn't. 00:29:27.279 --> 00:29:39.200 The Bible calls us not to do that, but we should come along people and and and have honest conversations about how God designs us to do things that uh that benefit other people. 00:29:39.759 --> 00:29:45.440 Uh so what what what job do you need to do? 00:29:45.680 --> 00:29:46.960 What career do you need to take? 00:29:47.119 --> 00:29:49.839 Do you need to go to college or do you need to not go to college? 00:29:49.920 --> 00:29:51.119 Do you get a trade? 00:29:51.279 --> 00:29:57.519 Uh there's so many choices, and it's hard, it becomes it gets harder and harder to choose these days. 00:29:58.000 --> 00:30:00.640 Answer: get lots of advice. 00:30:01.359 --> 00:30:05.599 There are t sometimes we can idealize certain careers. 00:30:06.400 --> 00:30:11.039 Every job has its positives and its challenges. 00:30:11.680 --> 00:30:14.799 There are no jobs that only have upsides. 00:30:15.599 --> 00:30:16.480 That's true. 00:30:17.039 --> 00:30:20.880 Maybe you working one, let me know because uh I might I might change my career. 00:30:21.119 --> 00:30:21.279 No. 00:30:21.440 --> 00:30:25.440 I won't, because I believe there are no jobs with only upsides. 00:30:26.000 --> 00:30:31.359 There's certain jobs and career choices that resonate more with who you who God made you to be. 00:30:31.599 --> 00:30:34.319 And finding those is a great task. 00:30:34.799 --> 00:30:38.160 But but you can you can make a lot of things work. 00:30:38.319 --> 00:30:42.319 You can enjoy and do it with passion, honoring God. 00:30:42.720 --> 00:30:46.720 Understanding your strengths, weaknesses, temperaments, and personalities help. 00:30:46.960 --> 00:31:03.039 Uh that you know, there are personality tests, there are uh people that your school pays probably if you're in still in school to give you job advice to kind of help you figure out what are your strengths, what what what roles you would work really well with. 00:31:03.599 --> 00:31:11.279 If you wanted to put me in a in a creative direct director position at a at a company, that would be a disaster. 00:31:11.839 --> 00:31:14.640 But if you hired me as a baker, I'll probably do well. 00:31:15.359 --> 00:31:15.759 Right? 00:31:15.920 --> 00:31:17.599 Yeah, I but I need to know. 00:31:17.680 --> 00:31:20.880 I you know, you need to know where are your limitations. 00:31:21.279 --> 00:31:24.000 Uh what you're good at, what you're not good at. 00:31:24.880 --> 00:31:25.920 And this is important. 00:31:26.000 --> 00:31:30.000 Just because you went down a certain path, it doesn't mean you can't turn back and change. 00:31:32.480 --> 00:31:33.839 You can change. 00:31:34.079 --> 00:31:40.960 My dad worked about uh uh 45 years in his career. 00:31:41.440 --> 00:31:52.160 He started out, uh he got a degree in uh master's degree in physics and ended up working at a fertilizer factory, working with the automation systems, that it's really not very much physics. 00:31:52.400 --> 00:31:57.519 Uh but he he he found joy and and in that and developed himself. 00:31:57.599 --> 00:32:11.759 And then he uh he got involved with the trade unions, so he changed his his career path and and got a degree in political science and ended up going to work full-time for the trade unions, became the head of our county's trade union association. 00:32:12.000 --> 00:32:19.359 Uh, and did a lot of work and you know, coming in from a factory background, he had a lot of understanding. 00:32:19.440 --> 00:32:31.519 There's a lot of miners and factory workers in our county, and and he did a great job with that, but then the the whole socialist system changed, and the trade unions went bankrupt. 00:32:31.920 --> 00:32:37.279 So he found himself unemployed for a while and and looking you know looking for a job. 00:32:37.359 --> 00:32:43.599 And and then for the last 10 years of his career, he was hired as a high school physics teacher. 00:32:45.680 --> 00:33:01.759 And and at the at the end of that 10 years, when he was about to retire, and he as a retired person, he still gave classes for another 10 years in in high school, he said, I wish I did this my entire career. 00:33:02.000 --> 00:33:03.279 I love this so much. 00:33:04.400 --> 00:33:05.039 Right? 00:33:05.359 --> 00:33:08.240 He only got to do it for the last 10 years of his career. 00:33:08.400 --> 00:33:15.680 Uh the the the kids that that uh did an SAT in physics from his high school went from four to 35. 00:33:16.000 --> 00:33:16.480 Wow. 00:33:16.799 --> 00:33:18.160 You know, in physics. 00:33:18.559 --> 00:33:24.559 So so he he saw that he had a great impact and and was able to do this and and loved it. 00:33:24.720 --> 00:33:26.319 Uh you never know. 00:33:27.519 --> 00:33:34.160 And not that any of the previous jobs, uh so I I really respect my dad for his willingness. 00:33:34.400 --> 00:33:39.680