Listening with Compassion - Peti Szabad

Sunday sermon recorded on April 19, 2026   

Part of the "Be a Blessing" series.   

Slides used in the sermon: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1DZ-wuTNZlYgbhKWRsnyf1nyRnUoyA__g/view?usp=drive_link   

https://linktr.ee/northpointema

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

My name is Patty Sabat, and I got to serve as the minister of this congregation. And we're going to have a sermon. But I have a short announcement before we get there. Just last week we started talking about the month of May will have a theme that we're joining with some of the other churches and our family of churches, not just here in New England, but across the world, about just a time to focus on God's mission. And you can download the All Nations app through that QR code. And the theme for the month will be Eyes That See. And every day there will be a short video in the app about how God's mission is spreading all over the world. There will be news from Africa, from Asia, from Australia, from South and Central America, from Europe, from over here in North America as well. The islands, Papua, New Guinea. Last year, one of the inspiring stories was from, I think, from Laos or someplace. I mean, I'm like, what in where is that? You know? But God's word is making an impact everywhere it goes. Amen. So just wanted to, you know, make sure that most of us do have that app and we can follow and be inspired. There are wars, there's political strife. You don't need me to keep going because you're just gonna get more discouraged. But we need good news as well. So that's what that's for. And uh yeah. We also working this uh this uh this uh spring as a church, we're focusing on being a blessing, and uh and and that that's our theme, that's what we're want to think about. How can we, as followers of Jesus, be a blessing uh to people outside of our community? So Jesus didn't just give us blessings to keep it for ourselves, uh, but to give it on. So, Haley, could you stand up, please? We actually had a church hoodie. It'd be a blessing, and she's bearing it, so very proudly. Uh it's I I've I've I wore it a couple times to uh uh coaching, I'm coaching volleyball at the uh Leminster High School, and some of the kids were like, Oh, that's your church, coach. And I'm like, Yeah, and I was like, hopefully it's not just a hoodie, but it is a lifestyle that we're living. So I want to focus on one aspect of being a blessing today. So I can, you know, as a at a church, you can talk about many different things. I can talk about faith, you can talk about Jesus, you can talk about salvation, you can talk about how to live our lives. I mean, there's so many aspects of Christianity. Today we're gonna talk about how to listen with compassion. All right, what is compassionate listening? I like this definition. The emotional space created between two people. Your focus is to listen with your ears and your heart. Without fixing, without opinion. You just listen. Is that easy? No, I think that's that's incredibly challenging. Here's a quote uh uh from a actually from a Buddhist monk. He says, the most effective way to show compassion to another is to listen rather than talk. You have an opportunity to practice deep, compassionate listening. If you can listen to the other person with compassion, your listening is like a salve for her wound. In the practice of compassionate listening, you listen with only one purpose, which is to give the other person the chance to speak out and suffer less. That's that's deep, right? Uh it's it's you know, when when people feel that somebody connects with them through their challenges, through the things that they're going through, it lessens the burden they carry. What a blessing it is to have to be able to compassionately listen to somebody. You know, here's here's when I thought about this sermon, here's what I here's a thought that came up to my mind right away. We probably know that we should be compassionate listeners, but most of us struggle with this. Starting with me. You know, it takes it takes quite something to be able to do this well and do this well consistently. Proverbs chapter 20, verse 5 says, the purposes of a man's heart are deep waters, but a man of understanding draws them out. You know, how you how to do that, man? That's it takes a man of understanding. And I think you know, the Bible uses usually the male gender when we talk about uh people in general, but I think if the Bible said the the purposes of a woman's heart, that's like an ocean. That's even that's even more challenging. If you're a husband, then you're trying to be a compassionate listener to your wife, you know what I'm talking about. You know, so I got I got three things for for us today uh on in this in this area of listening compassionately. Two things that stop that hinder us, that we need to stop doing, and then one thing that we really need to do to be able to do this. Number one, get your judgment in check. Number two, fight against distractions. And number three, let your heart go out. So let's start with this get your judgment in check idea. Um you're sure you're familiar with the teaching in the Bible about judgment. In Matthew chapter 7, uh please turn there with me. Uh we we read uh I forgot to start my stopwatch. There we go. We read this passage, this teaching from the Sermon on the Man from Jesus. He says, Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. You know, it's the Bible teaches there's a certain type of judgment that we shouldn't be exercising. This judgment where we measure people for who they are. You know, he also he continues with an illustration in verse 3 to 5, in the same uh following the same sermon, he says, Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye? And pay no attention to the plank in your own eye. How can you say to your brother, let me take the speck out of your eye when all the time there's a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite. First they take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will say clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye. I love this cartoon, you know, that kind of illustrates this idea. You know, it's it is, you know, God actually does God want us to take the speck out of our brother's eye? He actually says, yes, but first. We gotta we gotta start with ourselves. We've you know, we we can so quickly just look at the other person and see something that's wrong with them. How about looking in the mirror first? In uh the Gospel of John, uh Jesus runs into a lot of religious people whose favorite activity seems like making judgments. Can we relate? You know, he tells them in John chapter 7, verse 24, he says, stop judging by mere appearances and make a right judgment. You know, it's so easy to look at somebody and make a judgment. Uh studies that that were done in this area says that people form an opinion about you in seven seconds. You walked in here, if you're new, somebody formed an opinion about you in seven seconds. Well, everybody that saw you. Right? I'm sure when I first walked in here two and a half years ago, people already had an opinion after seven seconds. I'm so glad that they didn't jump to a judgment or a conclusion. Uh just because maybe I looked a little different. Uh I'm originally Hungarian, I maybe speak a little different with uh when I'm tired with a pretty you know Hungarian accent and and and that kind of stuff. And and and I have my own sense of humor. Yes. Yeah. Some people like it. My kids usually roll their eyes. Uh, and and that's okay. But you know, so it's we gotta we gotta watch our our our hearts just because we kind of start forming an opinion, not to take that opinion as a matter of fact. Not to take that opinion to the bank, not to make a judgment about this person. You know, there's a d it it does it doesn't mean that we do not assess what we see. Right? We s we we need to see each other. We need to see, and and we need to make uh it's okay to make opinions about people and and their behavior. There's there's nothing wrong with that. It's called assessment. Uh you know, there's there's nothing wrong with that. Here's here's the idea, here's the difference between assessment and judgment. You know, you assess something, uh where what's going on, you know, in order that you can contribute to that, that wherever that where there is a need, where there's a there's a an opportunity for connection. But when you evaluate something and judge something, you're not doing you're not engaging, you're not getting connection, you're not compassionate. You're you're just there as a judge. Yeah, Jeff?

SPEAKER_01 10:42

Um I guess my question would be the can is judgment always like in a negative like connotation?

unknown 10:49

Like when I first met you, um I was got on my opinion where he was like, oh, this is a really respectful man you both put together.

SPEAKER_00 10:59

Yeah, the positive. Did you get him to comment? No, then you got to know me, right?

SPEAKER_01 11:07

Or was I wrong?

SPEAKER_00 11:08

No, that that's a great question. Uh sometimes sometimes we value things that maybe God doesn't value. Right? Uh you know, the the world has a value system that that that that creates a judgment. You know how you know how how wealthy is your clothing giver, and what kind of car you drove into this parking lot, you know, and people can judge by that and and assess value. Oh, you you're you know, you you drove a uh a jag, you know, or you must be you you know you must be somebody. Maybe. So making the right judgment it it's it's harder, but uh I'll I'll get to that, Jeff. Okay? But thanks. Good question. Love it, appreciate the question. Uh you know, we also, as Christians, we have a value system and a system of of morality that we hold ourselves to. But it's so easy to hold everybody else to that same thing and judge people when they fail to do that. You know, uh as I said, I coach volleyball. Some of my players swear on the volleyball team. Are you surprised?

unknown 12:21

No.

SPEAKER_00 12:21

No, when I was 16 and 17, DLTS charged. That's how I behaved. I wasn't a follower of Jesus, and uh, you know, I can I can come down really hard on them. Is that what they need? I need to ask that question. Assess the situation, what helps them to grow? Uh you know, the Bible describes some sinful behavior. If you're lying, I can make that assessment. It sounds like, you know, that that that that was a lie. Do I need to come down hard on you? And you're a liar and the and and make you, you know, put that on you. Or you know, the Bible clearly describes that uh somebody uh having a sexual relationship outside of marriage is against God's law. And we keep our we hold ourselves to that. But just because you and your girlfriend or boyfriend are doing that, that do I need to, you know, do I sometimes we feel like we need to come and establish these moral guidelines in everybody's lives. Is that the type of judgment that Jesus promotes?

SPEAKER_01 13:27

No.

SPEAKER_00 13:28

That's the kind of thing that he actually preaches against.

unknown 13:31

That's right.

SPEAKER_00 13:32

So here's here's a here's here's a thought. Uh as Jesus, who tells people about why he came to this world in John chapter 12, verse 47, he says, as for the person who hears my words, and he taught this whole idea of godly morality. He taught how to love God and how to love other people, and even love your enemies. Yeah, that's a high calling that we don't always live up to, honestly. For the person who hears my words but does not keep them, he says, I do not judge him. If somebody could, that would be Jesus. If somebody doesn't have to take the plank out of their eyes before they can help somebody take the speck out, that's Jesus. But he goes, I don't do that. Because that's not why I came. He says, For I did not come to judge the world. You know what I feel when I read that? Thank you, God. It would be we'd be in trouble if Jesus came to judge the world. We would be all judged as guilty, but he came to save it. You know, one of the uh the popular passages in the Bible is in John 3, it says, God sent his son into the world, not to judge the world, but to save the world through him. So here's my question: Did Jesus send us to judge the world? No, no. Why do we feel like we need to do so? You know, uh it's I wanna I want to talk a little bit about this because I think you know, we we understand the nature of sin and how God feels about sin. But sometimes we fail to understand the nature of love and how God feels about the sinner. You know, I'm not sure if you're familiar with this site. Can you imagine driving down in the fall, changing season, or maybe in the spring, just a budding season in New England, beautiful thing, and then uh as you go by the highway, you see this. How do you feel? You look at your speedometer, you put your foot on the on the brakes, your heart starts beating a little faster. Am I doing it? You know, right? We love uh you know law enforcement. It's it's a slide, please. All right, I'm moving on. You know, let me ask you a question. When people meet you as a Christian, is this how they feel? Ooh, watch out. You better behave, you better check your speed, you better, you know, you better check and and it's it's nothing good that it there's nothing wrong with us having a good influence on people. Like if if they in our company they they want to not to swear because they see that we don't do that. You know, there's nothing wrong with having a good influence. But do they feel like, oh, I better, you know, like you feel when you see the state trooper on the side of the highway, or I feel that way sometimes. Uh and uh, you know, I I I need to say I have not been pulled over by the state trooper in the two and a half years I lived in Massachusetts yet, but I don't want to jinx it. So we don't know. You never know. Uh but uh you know it's it's and and this is not this is not against policing and and and law enforcement. I actually have a lot of respect for people that do that job, but it is against Christians policing everybody else's morals. I love this cartoon as well. It's a little you know tongue in cheek. It says, you were a believer, yes, but you skip the not being a jerk about it part. So I I don't know who came up with that cartoon, but wow. If the shoe fits, right? So our job is not that it's not, you know, Jesus didn't come to judge the world. And as followers of Jesus, he does not call us to judge the world. He it he calls us to be the message of salvation in this world. The good news that people can change because we have changed as followers of Jesus. That's who we are. But we need to take that seriously in order to be able to be compassionate listeners. All right, I gotta move on. Uh but the passage concludes uh the one that we just said about Jesus not coming to judge the word in 47. In 48, he says, There is a judge for the one who rejects me and does not accept my words. The very word which I spoke will condemn him at the last day. You know, I'm not saying that there won't be judgment. The Bible is clear about that there will be a judgment, it's just not right now. And we don't need to, we don't need to exercise that right now. Leave that to God. God will do it on the last day, and he's gonna do it perfectly, justly, and righteously. That's our God. Number two, uh fight against distractions. Oh boy. You know, the passage, there's there is a command in the Bible to be compassionate. In 1 Peter 3, verse 8 and 9, uh, the verse 9 is where our theme for being a blessing comes from for the spring. Verse 8, it starts out that the thought starts out with uh after all these different behaviors that Peter walks believers through, written to the Christians, he says, Finally, all of you, addressing Christians again, live in harmony with one another. I can do a whole series of sermons just on that. Be sympathetic, love as but brothers, be compassionate and humble. Do not repay evil for with evil or insult with insult, but with blessing, because to this you are called, so that you may inherit a blessing. You know, we know if you read the Bible, you understand that we need to be loving and compassionate with others, uh, starting within the community of believers, but even outside of the community of believers, with everyone. But we're we're, you know, Satan is fighting against us. The Bible says that you know that Satan might not out with us, for we are not unaware of his schemes. So one of the ways that I've seen Satan use uh Satan work against compassionate listening is distractions. Distractions stop us from being compassionate listeners. You know, this is a familiar setting, I'm sure. I have to actually make a confession. Just this Thursday, my wife was dropping me, picking me up at the house and dropping me off for Bible talk uh here at the church building, and we had a very busy day. Uh we swapped the car back and forth between the two of us. Uh she just pulled up to the house. I went out, sat in the car. We it's a three-minute drive. I was I remember I remembered something I wanted to check on my phone. I pull out my phone, I look at it, and there's another notification. So I checked that, and two minutes pass by, and my wife goes, We haven't seen each other all day. You sit in the car and you're scrolling it through your phone, really, you know, and I'm like, I am so sorry, honey. I put my phone away, uh, I apologized, and then we pulled up to the building. I missed that three-minute opportunity to connect with her, maybe care for her, to listen to her. Has that ever happened to you? It's so easy, it happens so fast. You you I did I notice that that's what I was doing? Nope. I only noticed because she she brought it up, and I'm glad that she brought it up. It's so common for young people nowadays to have a group when people are talking and somebody is on their phone scrolling, uh, you know, checking the NBA playoff results. Sorry, Nate. Uh or just no, I just I'm just doing it right now. You know, you assume that people, when they st they have their phone in their hands, they They're looking at the Bible app. You assume. But it's it's very common that people are part of the conversation and they're doing something else on their phone as well. You know what that does? It's just stopped you from being a compassionate listener. You got you you you your your your attention is distracted, your mind is the and and if you tell me that you're amazing at multitasking, I I I give you about five books that studied this. Nobody is amazing at multitasking. Here's another quote. Uh says, distractions are one of Satan's biggest weapons against the Christian. As children of God and joint heirs with Christ, Satan does not have any power over us. He can only distract us from seeing our authority and talk us out of our heritage, just as he did with Adam and Eve. Very convicting. You know, this is a real struggle. Okay? You're not alone. Let's help each other out. You know, distractions are binding us to our phones and are taking us away from being able to fulfill God's plan to be a blessing for people. So you might need to do something with your phone. For us to be able to be compassionate listeners, we need to have space in our minds and our hearts for people. Now, that means that you need to get stuff out of there. You have to clear your mind. You can't, and maybe it's not your phone that that is distracting you, it's all the thoughts that are going on around your head. And you know, I'm sure that happened to you. You're listening to somebody, and five different things come to your mind. And your listening suffers. Right? So one of the one of the one of the challenges is how to clear our minds so when we actually listen, we're present. We hear the other person. Not just the words they say, but the heart and the emotions they're communicate. That's what compassionate listening is. And lastly, our last point, let your heart go out. And uh I'm sure that's a little bit of an uh interesting expression, but it's a biblical expression. In Luke chapter 7, we read, we have another story of Jesus. In verse 12, uh, we read, as he approached the town, he's going to a town, as he approached the town gate, a dead person was being carried out. You know, I don't know how you feel at funerals. I I'm I'm very uncomfortable. It's a challenging place to be. Uh there are people that that are grieving, uh, they're they're experiencing a loss, there's a dead person. Uh, even that the presence of a dead person is somewhat uncomfortable for most of us. Uh it's it's a challenging place to be. You know, it brings up emotions that are very uncomfortable. So Jesus meets a funeral procession coming out of the town, and then he realizes that this is the only, the person who died is the only son of his mother, and she was a widow. So this woman has lost her husband and now has lost her son. You know, that's I don't even I can't even imagine what that must feel like. You know, the good thing was that there's a large crowd from the town that was with her. She was she had support from this town. And and you know, I appreciate April sharing uh for the communion of how much support of family members and the church means to you, and and and thank God for the support that we can have. But here comes Jesus, he says, When the Lord saw her, his heart went out to her, and he said, Don't cry. You know, I appreciate the Bible describing not just what Jesus said or did, but how he felt. It could have been just when the Lord saw her, he said, Don't cry. And then he raises her son. That's the end of the story. I didn't put on the slide, because if we get to the end of the story, we miss this part where Jesus looked at this situation, connected with this woman, and felt his heart went out. I'm gonna teach you guys some more Greek. No, just putting it up there for so this is uh the the the Greek word for heart going out actually means that something pulls on your innards. That's uh I'm not gonna try and splunkism uh pronounce it. I butcher it, I'm sure. But the idea is that something grabs onto your your inner being, inner inner stuff, your guts, your heart, whatever is inside of you, and just pulls on it. And when you let it out, you connect. If you hold it in, you stay detached from people. In a different translation, translates this expression in this Luke 7, verse 13, differently. Uh the NIV says his heart went out to her. The NLT says his heart overflowed with compassion. Uh he felt compassion for her, he had compassion on her. Uh that's that's that's the idea. When we're listening, we're not just listening with our ears, we're allowing our heart to go out and feel with this person. That's the compassionate piece. But it requires you to let your heart go out. You can't do it in a stoic way. I'm not gonna feel anything, I'm just gonna be a good listener. You know, you gotta get involved emotionally. And another passage that uses the same word uh in Matthew chapter 9, verse 36. It says, Jesus, when we saw the crowds, when Jesus saw the crowds, he had compassion on them. You know, I don't know how you feel in crowds. You know, maybe when there's there's uh uh you know a lot of traffic on the highway. I don't know how you feel. That's not a good crowd. We traveled recently, and sometimes airports can be crowded. You get into the TSA line and it's long and crowded and takes forever to get through. You know what I'm talking about. You just you just walk into a mall and there's too many people or a store and it's crowded. Uh maybe maybe an you know a winter blast is coming for the next two days, and everybody's in market basket, and all of a sudden you're like, ah, come on. Why do why do they all need to come here at this time? Well, guess who else came? You. But anyway, but I love uh when Jesus sees the crowd, and there were different types of people in the crowd. Here's what he when he saw the crowd, the Bible says his heart went out to that. He had compassion on them. That's how that's that always convicts me. And I I I've been a minister for 30 years, but this convicts me because I love, you know, that's that I want to be like Jesus, but I'm not always like Jesus. I don't always feel like Jesus. Because they were harassed and helpless like sheep without a shepherd. Here's a challenge for all of us. Then he said to his disciples, the harvest is plentiful. There are a ton of people that you can have connection and compassion with. But the workers are few. And this is this is this is this is our challenge to become compassionate listeners. That's that's that's a worker that can do the work of God in the lives of people. And he says, Ask the Lord of the harvest, therefore, to send out workers into his harvest field. God is sending you and I out into his harvest field to be a blessing in people. We follow in the footsteps of Jesus, who allowed his heart to go out to that widow in the funeral procession, whose heart went out to the crowds, who touched the lepers, who healed the sick, who taught the people, even those that would never listen to him, and who died for everybody. He didn't come to judge people, he came to save them. He didn't allow other distractions to stop them from this. He actually was present with the people. This is who we follow, and that's a challenge for all of us. Here's a few questions for thought slash discussion. As I usually come up with questions after every sermon I write just to ask some questions for myself, and maybe maybe this is helpful to you as well. How do I feel when someone listens to me with compassion? You know, that attaches your heart. Uh that's amazing. Do I struggle with judgment? Do I do people around me feel like that I am policing their moral behavior? How am I doing with distractions? Do I need to create some better habits so I can be available to God to use me to connect with people? Amen to that. How is the state of my heart? Does it go out to people often? If not, how can I allow it to do so? Those are some questions that hopefully help help you as well. Uh just to put this into practice to think about how we can become better compassionate listeners and and be a blessing to people that we get in contact with. They might be family members, they might be your spouse, they might be friends, relatives, or anybody that you meet, you can be a blessing in their lives through compassionate listening.