Love My Neighbor - Peti Szabad

Sunday sermon recorded on July 26, 2026   

Part of the "Better Together" series.   

Slides used in the sermon: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1o4CdJJcj1NBMr6r0qynlz98aOa2NQ45y/view?usp=drive_link

https://linktr.ee/northpointema

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Better together is our theme this summer. And uh I've I've experienced us being better together. But I do have a question for us this morning. Alright. Would you consider yourself a loving person? Well. I'm gonna just sit with that for a bit. Well what was your first reaction?

unknown 0:25

Sometimes.

SPEAKER_00 0:26

Sometimes. Someday better be ready, right? My first reaction is yeah, of course, right? I am a loving person. I want to be a loving person. I I have a lot of love inside of me, and sometimes that that gets true. Other times, uh not as much. But uh but it's hard to evaluate ourselves when we already have a prejudice that we are very loving people. Yes, I'm talking to you. Uh I thought I was good. So I I I want today's today's message is about love. Uh the title is uh uh Love My Neighbor. And uh you know Jesus teaches love your neighbor, but I gotta take it to myself. I gotta take this personally. I need to love my neighbor, and and I'm gonna talk about how to do that today, but but the idea is that uh if you think you're already a loving person, you're probably not gonna learn much during this sermon. But if you feel like there is there is room to grow, there is a way to become more loving, and probably halfway through the sermon you might actually be convinced that yeah, I actually can do better, then you're at the right spot. There uh a few good few years ago, about uh 15 years ago, uh a Christian psychologist put out a book that has become very popular called The Five Love Languages. Are you guys familiar with that book? And the author Gary Chapman. Yeah, you know, and uh and it's it's a great book. It talks about how different people feel love from different, you know, being love being expressed in different ways. Uh and most people don't know is that after the author wrote the book, uh a number of years later, he made an observation. Here's what he said. He says, I had made the assumption that if people knew how to express love effectively, they would be eager to do it. I not realized that assumption was wrong. Just because you know how to do something that doesn't make you do it. What do we do now? What do we do now? He wrote another book. That that isn't the title, but but he wrote this book because he realized just giving people language for their love isn't enough. We need more. And and we need to cultivate love not just as a skill, not not just as a knowledge, but a way of life. And way of life means that you practice something over and over and over again until it becomes a way of life. Everybody can make loving deeds from time to time. Even the worst people. Maybe you consider some people worst people in your mind. I don't know who those people are, but but on their good days, they they they they do something really nice, something really loving. You know, I I used to be an atheist, and sometimes I I you know I saw somebody in need, uh, a lady having her groceries thrown on the ground, and I went and helped help her get pick them up. I I I was an atheist, but I was able to do some loving deeds. Uh but loving, being loving as a way of life, that's a whole new level. Yeah, it is. But it's inspiring. Uh I'm I'm gonna bring a few quotes from the book, but then we're gonna study the Bible on this topic. Here's uh here's a quote from the book that says nothing has more potential for changing the world for good than loving actions that flow from people who value relationships. And as we'll discover, nothing brings more joy than genuinely loving others. Love as a way of life. I actually was given this book uh about uh 15 years ago because somebody thought that I can grow in this. And uh I I was already a minister for 15 years by then, and uh and I considered myself a very loving person. That was the initial question, and and I read the book and I was I I went back through the book uh in preparation for the sermon, and I highlighted a ton of stuff in the book. And uh, you know, I highlight things that I feel like are relevant to me. And uh I and looking even back, I had a lot a long way to grow. So uh, but one of the things that happened over the last 15 years, I now have become a loving person. No, no, no, that doesn't more loving person. I made some progress over the last 15 years, but I I am still in the school of love. So I'm gonna talk about two points today. Love how do how we how we how we love our neighbor, how do I love my neighbor? Loving people is a choice. Often not an easy one. That's my that's my you know caveat for that. Uh, but it is a choice. And the more you make that choice, the more loving of a person you become. The more love becomes your way of life, and every every time you make a loving choice, love becomes a habit in your life. The next time, it's not gonna be completely easy to make that that same loving choice, but it will be easier because you've made it so many times before. It's like flossing teeth. You know, flossing teeth is something that my dentist always tells me, you should floss more. I'm not sure if anybody can relate. And I'm like, I hate I hate flossing. I it's it's uncomfortable. If if I don't do it for a while, my gums bleed. It's it's and you know what? I don't see any benefit of it. Whether I do it for a week or I don't do it for a week, my teeth look the same. Because one week is not enough time to actually see benefits from it. I get it. So really but flossing, and and sometimes erroneously we can conclude flossing doesn't matter. But as dental studies shows it does matter. And uh and uh yeah, so I'm not gonna share more about my dental history at this point. But uh but the idea is loving people is like flossing. That's the point. It can we're a different church. It's it might be uncomfortable, it might be challenging, you might not see any benefits from it after a week, but the more you do it, the more the rewards. So let's get on the let's get on with the sermon before I get into sidetrack with illustrations like flossing. Here's here's another quote from Gary Chapman from this book. He says, one of the beautiful things about living a love-filled life is that we are not dependent on circumstances for satisfaction. We find joy in our choice to love others. Whether or not they love us in return, and whether or not circumstances go the way we want them to. So love brings joy. But again, that joy doesn't always happen. It's kind of like the flossing. The benefits come with time. But the more you make the choice, the greater of the benefits that kind of accumulate. So he in the book uh lists seven characteristics of a loving person, and I list those there: kindness, patience, forgiveness, courtesy, humility, generosity, and honestly, and they all all from the Bible. Yeah. And uh he he he focuses on some of them, they are kind of uh more of a you know a grouping of different activities and and uh and different things. And he goes, these seven traits are not vague feelings or good intentions, they are habits we learn to practice when we decide to become authentically loving people. They are basic practical traits that are doable in everyday life. So I want to I want to prove from the Bible that love is a choice that we can make. In John chapter 13, verse 34 and 35, which is our theme uh scripture for this better together idea for our summer, but uh also a command from Jesus, he says in in verse 34, a new command I give you. Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this all men will know that you are my disciples if you love one another. So if love is a command, it can be obeyed. Would you agree?

unknown 10:15

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 10:16

You can do the loving thing in any moment in time. Figuring out what that loving thing is a different question, but once you know what the loving thing to do in a certain situation, you can make that choice that I am going to do this no matter how I feel, no matter what's going on, I'm going to obey and choose to do what's loving. Jesus continues. This is a this was the theme in this in his uh conversations with his disciples that Howard talked about during that last supper conversations. In John chapter 14, he says, If you love me, you will obey what I command. You know, oftentimes we make this artificial distinction between love and obedience, or love and commands. But in God's eyes, those two come together. When you do what God calls you to do, that actually is loving. Because God is love, He commands loving things. That's how it works. They all it's but sometimes we're like, if I'm just obeying a command, that's not very loving. Maybe because we think love is this feeling. And sometimes love is accompanied by feelings, sometimes love is moved by feelings, but love in itself is a choice. It's a it's a it's an obedience to a command, a way of life that God desires. And God commands. Verse 23, Jesus replied, If anyone loves me, he will obey my teachings. My father will love him, and we will come to him and make our home with him. He who does not love me will not obey my teachings. So this is not feelings. For Jesus' love means obedience. This is uh uh, you know, I'm gonna do what you tell me to do, and that is loving. These words you hear are not my own, they belong to the Father who sent me. John later in his letter to the church, uh in uh in his first letter to the church, is he he talks about this again in 1 John chapter 2, verse 5 through 6, and then later in chapter 5, verse 1 through 3, he says, But if anyone obeys his word, that's that's referring to to Jesus, God's love is truly made complete in him. This is how we know we are in him. Whoever claims to live in him must walk as Jesus did. That's that God calls us to do as Jesus would do, to love as Jesus would love, to live the life that Jesus would live in your situation. So the question, what would Jesus do, is a good question. You know, how would Jesus relate to people? What would what in what way would Jesus show love? Because he would show love every time. Then in chapter 5, verse 1 through 3 says, Everyone who believes that Jesus is the Christ is born of God, and everyone who loves the Father loves his child as well. This is how we know that we love the children of God, by loving God and carrying out his commandments. This is love for God to obey his commands, and his commands are not burdensome. So, how do we how do we practice loving God's children? By obeying God. To me, this this might look like or feel like a very heartless way of loving. But to me, this is helps me to simplify things. You know, I'm I can work on my emotions and get my heart right and do all those things. I just but I what I need to focus on is loving people and practicing that love for people. That is love. I'm gonna I'm gonna read you the the seven uh how how this how this author defines those seven qualities of love or seven uh activities of love or choices of love, uh, because I want us to take some time to to think about how loving am I. Uh well not you guys thinking about me being how loving, you know. There's probably a place for that to have a discussion about how loving our preacher is. But but but but think about ourselves, each of us, anyways. So kindness, the joy of meeting someone else's need before your own simply for the sake of the relationship. What a good definition, right? Patience, allowing someone to be imperfect. Think about driving. Uh next one. Forgiveness. Using honesty, compassion, and self-awareness to reconcile with someone who has hurt you. Although that's that's actually greater than in that definition is greater than forgiveness, is letting go of the person. Reconciling doesn't always happen. Uh that's an that's the next step from forgiveness. He kind of bundles all those together under the word forgiveness. Courtesy, the act of treating everyone as a personal friend. Humility, a peacefulness of heart that allows you to stand aside in order to affirm the value of someone else. Generosity, giving your attention, time, abilities, money, and compassion freely to others. Honesty, a loving consistency in speech, thought, and action. And then he asks, of the seven characteristics of a loving person, kindness, patience, forgiveness, courtesy, humility, generosity, and honesty, which one comes most naturally to you right now? Which one is the most challenging? So I'm gonna give us a give us a moment to reflect that. Which of these comes to you more naturally and which one is more challenging at the moment? And we all grow in change. So could you put the definitions up to the channel? I can. I came out on. Uh kindness comes to me probably most naturally, honestly. Uh, and humility and generosity are probably the ones that I I I I feel like, wow, I've got some ways to grow in this. Uh and I'm I'm excited to continue to learn. But if I asked the question, are you a loving person? I'm sure we all go, to a degree I am, but I still have ways to grow. And and that's that's God's plan. God's plan for us to do more loving actions and become more of a loving person, have this way of life of loving other people. And this is my second point practicing and growing in love. So loving people is not always easy. And there's no there's no guarantee that they will love you back. There's there's no guarantee that your loving action will actually land well and will not be misunderstood. Uh sometimes you try, and uh and even if your best attempt it falls really flat or even hurts people at times. Uh you know, how do you love an addict, for example? That's not an easy that's not an easy thing, right? Uh how do you love in a very in a contested challenging relationship? What do you what do you do loving things? As Christians, when we become Christians, God doesn't just wave a magic wand and you know points to us and goes, now you're a loving person. I wish it did that. I'm like, all right, God, thank you. Here we go. You know, it's not a Cinderella story. When uh out of a pumpkin comes a chariot. You know, the pumpkin is just a pumpkin at the end of the story. What God does though, and this is what we're we're reading in 1 Peter chapter 1, verse 22, he's telling to people that just become Christians, says, Not that you have purified yourself by obeying the truth, so that you have sincere love for your brothers, love one another deeply from the heart. So, you know, when we become Christian, when we decide to follow Jesus, when we we leave our life of sin behind and actually devote ourselves to following Jesus, getting baptized, we we we we we receive this love from God that we can start passing on to others. Uh and and he goes, don't just do that superficially, you actually, you know, do it more and more deeply. And and that's been, you know, I I've always I became a Christian 32 and a half years ago, and I've I've started doing more loving things, but let me tell you, that was just layers and layers of layers of transformation that still needed to happen. And I'm sure when I talk to you 32 years from now, uh, if I'm still around, you know, maybe in heaven, I don't know. Hopefully, one you know, one of those things, I'm gonna tell you that in the last 32 years, I've, you know, there were some other layers and layers of layers so I can love even more deeply, and it's becoming more of who I am. Paul writes to the church in Thessalonica, another group of younger Christians. He says, now about brotherly love. We do not need to write to you, for you yourself have been taught by God to love each other. So this is something that God teaches us over time. And then he goes, and in fact, you do love all the brothers through Mass throughout Macedonia, yet we urge you, brothers, to do so more and more. Church should be a place where our love continues to grow. Here's a quote by a preacher named Dallas uh Walker or uh David Walker. He says, Church should be a place where love is evident. God delivers, lives are changed, hearts are healed, and families restored. Because there is love. That's what can happen. You know, oftentimes we look at church where people come to Sit in pews or rows of chairs to listen to a preacher, and that's what we're doing right now. But what if church was a lot more than that? And we only do this for a little bit of more than an hour a week. But what if church, we imagine church as the school where we all go to to learn how to love. You know, when uh when when when you go to school and you work, you know, you you work on a project together with your fellow students. You might have some memories like this as a kid, although back in uh some when some of us were students, that there weren't collaborative projects very much. It was you sit at your it was more the more more you sit at your desk and it was more like the previous picture, you know, just sit and listen. You know, but but but the idea for us to learn how to love in a collaborative setting, isn't that what churches more should be more? As as we read in these passages. Or yeah, you know, next door there's a there's a dojo. When when when I watch kids go in there, hopefully they come out and come for some free ice cream. Uh you know, when they go there to do some team spot team sport or even individual and they go to practices together, you know, it's and kids are sometimes immature, but not nobody is the master in there except the sensei, you know, and we have one one of those called Jesus. But but we go and we try to imitate some of those moves, and you know, that's isn't that more of a model of what Christianity and church should be? Our we we just had a soccer world cup. You know, a bunch of kids learn, you know, playing soccer on the streets. Uh, you know, how do you become a soccer player? By doing that again and again, and you don't have to be perfect, you know, you don't you don't you don't actually even need to have regular goals for a for a goal. Those little pieces of wood work just fine, right? Uh you don't need jerseys, you just go play. Isn't that what church should be more like as we try and play at this game of love? Right? That's the Bible's vision of how when we get together, we can love one another. So loving people is hard. Loving people in the church is also hard. We just because we're in the church, that doesn't necessarily make it easier. It is, let me tell you though, it is a little easier. Hopefully, our church is a safe place to for us to practice loving. Hopefully, it's a place where even if we fail and we mess up and we act in not loving ways, there is forgiveness because everybody else is trying to be loving too. It's probably a little safer place than if you just go out there and try to be loving out there. You might get chewed up a little bit by there. Sometimes that happens in the church too, but hopefully we have more and more of the attitude that we're in this school of love, we're all we're all classmates, we're all teammates, we're all just practicing. Come on, you you messed up, you you kick the self-goal, it's okay. Let's move on, let's let's try this again, let's forget about it. Let's you know, hopefully, we have that attitude and it had an atmosphere that's conducive for us to learning to become more loving people. In first 2 Peter 1 is our last passage that we're gonna study. Uh and I have uh I have some thoughts and questions for discussion or contemplation. Here's what it says. I love this passage. This is one of this was this became one of my favorite passages even as a young Christian because it has so much promise. Uh he says in 2 Peter 1, he says, his divine power. And this is God's divine power, the same power that created the entire universe. Talk about power. You know, his divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness. Through these, he has given us his very great and precious promises so that through them you may participate. There is a participatory way of being a Christian. You need to participate. This is not a spectator sport. You participate in the divine nature and escape the corruption in the world caused by evil desires. That corruption steals the love and the connection from our world. And when it happens, the world is becoming a darker and more cold place. But we can escape that by going to God and filling ourselves up with His love and try to practice it. Starting with the church and then passing it on to others as well. Keep reading. For this very reason, make every effort. That sounds like uh, you know, uh a little practice to me. You know, when you when you go go to train, you go down to the gym, you you you make some effort. This requires effort. It doesn't just happen automatically. You're doing some practicing of this, and and as you're practicing it, you're making not just some effort, but every effort actually, something happens. He says to he's for this reason, very reason make every effort to add to your faith goodness, and to goodness knowledge, and to knowledge self-control, and to self-control, perseverance, and to perseverance, godliness, and to godliness, brotherly kindness, and to brotherly kindness, love. You know, there's it seems like that these things are built on each other. And and and as you build your character, your your godliness, your perseverance, you become, you're able to love within the brotherhood. That's brotherly kindness or brotherly love, Philadelphia is the word. Uh, and then you go on to agape, which is a self-sacrificive love that Jesus showed for even people that are so not worthy. That's how we grow. But we need to take some make some effort, and then God will help us grow. But it starts here if we can practice brotherly love and sisterly love amongst ourselves in ways that are more and more loving, deeper and deeper from the heart, going down layers and layers in our character and uh and growing in our kindness, in our generosity, in our humility, in our honesty, in all the in our forgiveness and all the things that we read on that list, or you can read it in 1 Corinthians 13, a lot of those. For if you possess these in qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. You know, I love the church. I've learned to love from people in the church. Uh, I don't have Jesus in front of me. I read about him and I'm inspired by him, but he's sometimes so far ahead of me that I'm like, how do you do this, Jesus? But then one of you come along, and and you're just a little ahead of me. You're not where Jesus is, but you're a few steps ahead of me in your humility, in your kindness, or in your generosity. And and I'm like, ah, that's that's how I can be better. And I'm very grateful uh for for every one of you guys. I learned something from you. Uh every time we get together, every time we have an interaction. Sometimes it's not very like you know, the lie goes on and this aha moment. Oftentimes it is, but sometimes I just I just I just face a situation and and I remember, okay, how would how would Angel handle this situation? What would uh what would Anti do? What would you know? Ozzy, he's just great, he would, he would just he would just do this. You know, and and when I think about when I see you guys interact and see you guys in in situations, uh I I get a model that I can imitate in those situations. I'm not I don't do what I would just automatically do with my limited capacity to love, but I do something that that that calls me beyond that. Here's a quote from Charles Spurgeon, uh preacher from the 19th century. He says, the church is not an institution for perfect people. So if you're one of those people, um unfortunately, this is not for you. There's the door. It is a sanctuary for sinners saved by grace, a nursery for God's sweet children to be nurtured and grow strong. I love that definition. It is the fold for Christ's sheep, the home for Christ's family. The church is the dearest place on earth. I hope you feel that way. I I I want you to feel that way. Because it's the place where you learn to love. It's a place when you grow, and at the end of the day, it's how you learn to love my neighbor. Questions and thought for thought and discussion? How does an action, an obedience-based definition of love challenges my thinking? Of the seven characteristics of a loving person kindness, patience, forgiveness, courtesy, humility, generosity, and honesty, which one comes most naturally to you right now? Which one is the most challenging? Or to me? Do I see the church as the school and training ground to practice and grow in love? Thank you so much for listening to me.