Family Trees, Fake Cows & Sex Chocolates

 This episode is a full-blown rollercoaster. From Tessa getting emotionally wrecked by a fake miniature cow situation (we’re still not over it), to Glowcon karaoke plans getting wildly out of hand, to a deep dive into ancestry surprises and family chaos—this one has it all. Oh, and somehow we end up researching “sex chocolates” and making it worse. As always, we promise nothing… except laughs, oversharing, and a little secondhand embarrassment. 

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:03

Hey, hey, hey, gorgeous people. Welcome to the Hair at First Podcast where great hair meets real life. We're your host, Tessa, Monica, and a child. Free stylists, moms, besties. We're keeping it real about beauty, business, and the chaos of motherhood.

SPEAKER_03 0:19

We're here to share stories, laugh way too loud, and maybe spoke a little shampoo along the way. Just a quick heads up. We're not making any medical claims or giving professional advice here, just sharing our own thoughts, opinions, and experiences.

SPEAKER_02 0:32

So grab your coffee, your favorite blanket, and let's hair it first.

SPEAKER_04 0:39

Good morning, everyone. Welcome back to Hair It First.

SPEAKER_01 0:43

Here with Monica, Michelle, and Tessa. If you're new here, welcome. Make sure to catch up on our episodes. Uh, we will either make you laugh, cry, or offend you. Not sure. Uh, could be a little bit of all of them in in every episode. I don't really know.

SPEAKER_04 1:00

Uh, if you're back to listen to more, thank you for following us and thank you for your support. So lots of things have happened. We um we we are over Easter and April falls, and so what's the next holiday coming up? Oh, Memorial Day weekend where everybody gets pregnant. What? What? Well, my whole family thought you were gonna say drunk. Yeah, drunk and pregnant. Because, like our family, there's literally not very many days in the month of February that we don't have a birthday in. And I'm like, we all we all go to our um family river, and so yeah, there's drinking and fun, and you know, for years, this is a tradition, and I'm pretty sure that everybody gets pregnant on Memorial Day weekend and gives birth in February. So that's just been my I'm pretty sure that's what's happening. Well, I can promise you, I will not get pregnant on the Mari JBC. Me either, shall no guaranteed. That'll happen. No, I don't have either. If I do, we're gonna be bazillionaires because my doctor's ass is in trouble. Tell you that. And you guys are getting the baby, it'll be the Firma baby. Everybody's the Ferma Glow Kid. Everybody gets to help raise it. I'll do zero to three.

SPEAKER_01 2:30

I like the babies, call me. I got the babies. I like the babies, yeah. I like the teenage years.

SPEAKER_04 2:36

I like the baby years too, but Yari called. Love newborns. Oh god, me too. Okay, this is what I can't stand when people are like the newborn stage is the hardest. No, it's not. Have you never been a toddler? Right, I agree. A teenager. Like eats and sleeps and poops and just wants to snuggle you. Oh, and I love it. I think husbands they just eat, sleep, and poop, and they sometimes snuggle you, but not always, but my men regress back into or do or maybe they don't ever get out of it.

SPEAKER_01 3:15

I don't know. If you're a man out there, I love you, but come the fuck on.

SPEAKER_04 3:21

Sorry, Adam. That's I don't know. Poor Adam. Listen, I need candy.

SPEAKER_01 3:28

I need to start beating him.

SPEAKER_04 3:31

Why? What happened? You guys, he pulled the meanest April Fool's joke on me. Him and my middle son. I'll wait to say Wednesday of all months, my busiest. That's your busiest day. So he sends me a picture of our middle son with his arms around the cutest little fluffy miniature cows. You know those ones that don't grow over. And I have been, yes, I've been begging to have some of those. And he's like, You're allergic to cows. We don't have time for them. You'll put them in the living room. We can't, we're not doing it. And so, you know, I was I he never will let me have her. So he sends me these pics, this picture. He wouldn't even be able to touch it, Tessa. Do you see him? Yeah. Do you see him? Sends me that. Literally says Kate's friends or friend Malachi, his grandpa's going to the nursing home. So he has to get rid of all this livestock, but he has these, and he says that we can have them if we want them and we'll take care of them. And he's like, I have all the material to build a pen. We can do that. And I'm like, are you serious? And he's like, Yes, I'm serious. And he's like, I already love them. This is how far it went. And I was like, oh god, me too. You know, and I'm Googling cow snacks. They have snacks for cows. And you know, I'm going to Atwoods, I'm gonna get my cow snacks. It's showing all my clients. We're making dates for people to bring their kids out to cut these things. You know, I've sent the picture to everybody, and it ended up being an April Fool's joke.

SPEAKER_03 5:08

I would have loved to have been a fly in the room. Did you see him in person? Did he tell you in person it was an April Fool's joke, or did he text you or call you? Texted me. Oh, I'm not sure.

SPEAKER_04 5:19

While I was at work. And I had just told my client's little girl who was laying on the couch watching her iPad as her mom was getting her hair done. I said, Do you want to come out to Antas? I was like, pet these cows, and she's like, I do, I do, and it wasn't five minutes later. He's like, April Fool's, and I was like, and that little girl was like, What? What? And I'm like, silly.

SPEAKER_03 5:42

That's what you have to look forward to, honey. Your husband breaking your heart.

SPEAKER_04 5:47

This is the only thing I can think of. Have you ever heard the country song by the chicks, Marian and Wanda?

unknown 5:55

Oh.

SPEAKER_04 5:57

That's not uh let me know when you guys can fly in. Peace, Alan. Because Al is the headscript. You know, I did used to sing that on karaoke with my ex's name all the time with the bars. I don't, not for one second in my life, do I not think that she would have sang that on karaoke?

unknown 6:22

Me? Okay.

SPEAKER_05 6:24

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 6:24

Oh Tessa. Because there'll be times now when our hero song's gonna be like, that would be a good karaoke song. And I'm like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Cool. Tessa, get out of my head. Get out of my head. Oh dear.

SPEAKER_05 6:37

She's got a microphone.

SPEAKER_04 6:40

I never not have it. I have in my car.

SPEAKER_05 6:46

In my car.

SPEAKER_04 6:47

You should 100% bring it to Dallas to go. So we after you know the meet and greet, where they get to meet us. We're going to the lobby.

SPEAKER_03 6:58

We're gonna do it to the lobby.

SPEAKER_04 7:01

A furnaclow karaoke night. I've never been so excited in my whole entire life. You know how many songs I have in my notes that are sorry somewhere. I've said almost every day when I'll think of one and be like, for karaoke. You go through my notes and there's like baby got back and all this shit. And yeah, I'm just oh my gosh. You know, I have to say, I'm super excited for Dallas. I am too and if you're listening out there, what we're doing in Dallas is Glow Con. So it'll be our second Glow Con for Thermoblow where all of our business partners and owners and everything just get together and we we do training. We do it's just a fun-filled weekend. We get together, we're gonna have a cocktail night, right?

SPEAKER_00 7:50

Yeah, it's like a meet and greet cocktail night.

SPEAKER_04 7:53

Now we're gonna have a karaoke night.

SPEAKER_03 7:55

Yeah, um, it's we have to oh my gosh, let's take it a step further. Let's do first, second, third place karaoke winners, and we decide, and we can bring gifts like little trophies or something. Yes, and then every year we can do it. Every glow con.

SPEAKER_04 8:13

Can I be a contesta and a judge? Yeah, and I vote for myself. No, no, no, maybe I should have nice be the judge.

SPEAKER_03 8:22

I I say one time, karaoke. I mean, I say more than that, but one time, and my friend Andy said, I mean, I love you, honey, but don't ever do that again. So I think I should be a judge.

SPEAKER_04 8:35

That's I will be a judge. Yep. Listen, I can't sing worth a crap, but I'm going to. And I do. If you bring your fiddle, I will die. It's right over here. And on my birthday, I got fiddle lessons. You did. Yeah, I don't remember.

SPEAKER_03 8:56

What was your drink of choice that night?

SPEAKER_04 8:59

Tito's. And um, our friend Brandon, he is just amazing. He can play every instrument there is to play.

SPEAKER_01 9:07

I mean, he can play the cello like a dream. I love it. He's already taught me before. Well, actually, I called him to the house because Adam bought me that fiddle. I'm like, you bought me a piece of crap fiddle. It does not sound good.

SPEAKER_04 9:21

And he's like, babe, do you think it's you? And I'm like, No, it's not me. It's this fiddle. And he, I was like, You had no faith in me, so you bought me this cheap fiddle, and you don't think I can do this. So I call Brandon over and I'm like, Brandon, can you please show him that you bought me a piece of crap? Fiddle. Brandon gets on there, it was like a dream, just and I was like, oh, and Adam goes, fiddle, ain't it? And I was like, So Brandon came back over on my birthday and gave me lessons, and I don't remember any of them. Oh man. Redo. That's all right. Well, bring your fiddle because I feel like, you know, before we have our training where we go up and we start teaching people the wonderfulness that is our stylist, our stylus board, um, you should, when we go out for our intro, be like fiddling it up, but not really, like pretend fiddle. Well, Tony wants me to.

SPEAKER_03 10:17

It'll be our walk-up song.

SPEAKER_04 10:19

Yeah, we need to do Soul Sisters, of course. That's the song I think we're doing. Walk it up to sort of sort of sort of. Yeah, absolutely. If I can learn it on Siddle, I just think of something for a second. When people listen to this, they are probably like, what on God's creator could the three of these women teach anybody? You like in sitting there looking at like listening and been like, wow, they are the stylists of Fermoglow. I promise you, we are probably Tessa a hundred percent is the nerdiest ingredient person I've ever met in my life. And when we start talking nerdy and ingredients and products, we are completely different people. We are like sometimes like there's like a switch. We have a huge business switch, and when the three of us are talking business, we are not the same people that you hear on this podcast that don't seem like they have their lives together. Our lives are together, right? Our business life, we have so together. It's just every other aspect of our life, we we don't. But I promise you, don't be scared if you, you know, haven't met us in a business perspective and just a podcast perspective. We are very, we are very intelligent people. We really do know our shit. We just, you know, you would you're right. People would never expect that from us three, and especially, I had no idea that Michelle was Polish like I am. So that's my grandma came from Poland. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I had you said you did, my grandma. Oh, well, we don't we don't know a lot about Jesus. I was telling you when'd you come over? A little bit. Wow, your English is great, you can't even tell.

SPEAKER_03 12:28

We don't know a lot about the family though, because she was adopted, so that's kind of you know, I tried to do a little research on mine too.

SPEAKER_04 12:36

I don't know a whole lot about it, but yeah. Oh my gosh, my dad went off the deep end, um, probably like 10 years ago with ancestry, and there is a book like this he has printed out of our lineage all the way back to like where our homes were in Ireland.

SPEAKER_03 13:00

Wow, that's so cool!

SPEAKER_04 13:02

It's so cool. Now, my mom's dad is adopted, so there was you know, back then there really wasn't like records and stuff like that. You couldn't find stuff out. So her lineage on her dad's side isn't go very far back, but my dad's goes all the way back. Like people that got on the boat, he's got all the records of people that like traveled over on the boat, how much money they came with. Wait, like in so cool. That's amazing. See, I did the 23 of me too, but I I never went deep enough into it. I did go deep enough to see that I had 256 ne I Neanderthal traits, which was real cool.

SPEAKER_03 13:42

That's that's surprising.

SPEAKER_01 13:44

I already knew anyway.

SPEAKER_03 13:45

Look at the So my brother, my brother did this, and he dove in a little bit, but basically, when he found out that we came from royalty, he's like, Oh, that's good. I'm like, You came from royalty? Hold up, we're royalty? Where? Like, I need to go there.

SPEAKER_04 14:02

Yeah, so sometimes these things get you um knowing that little did it know. My mom and my aunt did the 23andMe. And two sisters. Oh, yeah. We found a lot. We've found a lot of uh not siblings, but a lot of family members that no one had any idea about, too. So yeah. My mom met her sister for the first time last year. Well she lives 25 minutes from our house.

SPEAKER_03 14:37

Was she given up for adoption or was it just a flame?

SPEAKER_04 14:41

That's wild. I my grandmother, it's I don't know. My grandmother doesn't talk about it, right? And uh for me, like I don't care. Right. I like there's a reason she doesn't talk about it, and that's fine with me. Um, but I guess he had went and had another family. Like she left him, told him to stay away. He went and had another family, and then from that family, he had two more children. Wow. Yeah, wow. So one of his children passed away um could a few years ago, and then there was the one child left, and my aunt ended up like reaching out and found out that she's got they've got a sister. That's wild. Well, that's awesome though. I mean, you just you never know. I love big families, me too. That's so weird about stuff like that. Like, I've watched too much, I think I've watched too many documentaries, but I'm like, how do you know? Yeah, like let's get blood tests. But like, like, let's get real. Yeah, and then that's what I'm saying. Yeah, about like I don't know that they've ever had a DNA test. Yeah, it was 23 and by like cut up seeing what area you're in and be like, ooh, this person's on 23 and me too.

SPEAKER_01 16:03

So I'm gonna connect these two and they're gonna think that they're sisters. We don't know. We really don't know.

SPEAKER_04 16:08

Honestly, like I don't know. It's the it's super weird to me, but I'm very um like when it comes to my family, I'm like extremely protected. And so I'm like how and I I don't know. It's just it's a weird situation for me. I mean, I've gone 37 years without I met this woman for the first time, not on my own terms. Um so I'm just like it's weird. I gotcha. Well, we I did find out something very interesting our whole lives, you know. My grandma and stuff told us we had Indian in us, uh, this in you know, Indian and blah blah blah blah. And so when I did the 23andMe, there wasn't a lick of Indian. And I'm like, mom, there there was there's no linen, and you have to know my mom, she's hilarious. I sit there, we don't have any Indian in us. Look, and she's like, My mom's such a fucking liar. May my grandmother ask some peaks. Oh my god. Not even here to defend herself. No, no, you just have to. I mean, this is where I get it. My mom is just, she's just you guys are gonna love her when you meet her. But um, so I'm like, okay, and I'm talking to the rest of the family, they're like, what the hell? Blah blah blah. Found out that 23 and me do not have the rights to put if you have Indian blood in you, they don't have the right to put that on there. That is illegal for them to trace that heritage and and put that in there because people can go back and get money, right? So people will have like a percentage of you missing, were you only like 65% of like out of a hundred? The rest of your percentage was unknown. Can I tell you something? I was 98% foolish and two percent Irish. I am all Polish, pretty much stubborn as shit. But then we have the other side, like my grandfather. I found out he was Cajun back in that day. He he never would say that, never would have very dark complex looks Cajun, but that wasn't a thing. That was back then an embarrassing thing. I don't know if embarrassing is that they didn't that was you could get like people were mean to it, you know, like the um my friends. So you didn't admit that, so we never knew that. Yeah, we never knew that, which was very interesting because I had no idea that that was even a thing that they didn't talk about being Cajun. And so we had no idea that that my grandpa's side of the family was Cajun. So now we know that, but yeah, just just crazy things that I never even you know, and then I heard 23 and me went down, right? They go down, sure, sure. I do think it's really cool to know where you came from. Yeah, I agree. I I I do think that that's a really cool thing, yeah, because there's so much about everybody that makes them who they are, and it's just it's cool to like be able to look back and see like where everybody came from.

SPEAKER_03 19:32

Yeah, so my daughter, my ex-husband's mom is a hundred percent Latvian, so she's from Latvia. Wow, yeah, really, and I was gonna go over there, but they didn't, but yeah, they like no, like when we were married, nobody wanted to go. Well, because it was a bad situation when they left, like it was Hitler era, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 19:56

See, I want to know that they took all their property, I want to know what you know how that all went down. I mean, I'm not gonna lie, sometimes I throw it in Adam's face because he is he's German and I'm Polish, and I'm like, you killed my whole family, you know? Adam. He's like, no, I didn't. I'm like, yeah, your family did. Poor Johnny Corn dog. Poor little Johnny Corn dog. I'm so glad he guys has you guys for a support system. Oh, I'm sure. Because he doesn't have me as one. I know. I was pissed off about something at work, and I'm like, I can't talk. I have to go home and yell at Adam. You guys are like, be nice to Adam. I'm like, nope, I'm not going to. Thank you. He really wants you guys to be his wife, not me. Listen, we all have good things about us. And I always say, if I yell at you about something that has nothing to do with you, it's because you're my safe space. Craig, yes. You are my safe space. I know that you're gonna look at me like I have 85 heads and be like, what kind of crazy are you on right now? You know, but you're still gonna love me. Yeah, yeah. Like before I came, we came down here. I like looked at Craig and I was like, I just need you. And he was like, I'm I'm right here. And I was like, just hold me for a minute. And he was like, Oh okay. And I'm like, I don't know, just shut up and hug me. He was like, Okay. Sometimes sometimes you have to do that. You're like, oh, I just I really do need a little love from him. You know, and it surprises him. I have extremely high anxiety, and I felt it more in the last couple of days than I have in a while, and I don't know why. Um but like that, I I saw a TikTok and it like really resonated with me. Like when your head is just like Spinning, and there's so much stuff, and there's so much chatter, and there's so much noise, and then you get to your safe space, and like it quiets everything. Nine times out of ten, when he doesn't piss me off, um, he quiets everything. So, like, if I'm super like in my head about stuff, or I'm trying to get too much done and there's just not enough. Like, yesterday for me was a shit storm. Yeah, both all three of my kids had half days. I some for some reason scheduled Kenley's physical therapy to last until Colton got out of school. So, how was I gonna get him from school? I had to go back to work, but didn't leave myself enough time to pick up Raylan from school. So I had to pick her up in the morning, and I'm like, then I get to work, and I was like, I told the kids I was like, I'll be done by like 5:30, no big deal. No, no, almost eight o'clock. I walked in the door. Whoopsies. I was like, I text Courtney and was like, um, I I don't know what happened, but I'm gonna need you to actually feed the kids. And she was like, Bom, I'm already like 10 steps ahead of you. Like so precious, she's so great. So precious. With Craig being gone so much, like she is she's my ride or die. Like for you guys, she's listening. Courtney is Monica's oldest daughter, and we're gonna have her on as a guest because that poor thing has to hear us a lot on some of our conversations, and it's helpful. Her room is right there, yeah. That is her room and be like, All right, you guys are awful, or whatever she said. Like, what do you guys do? Um, when we were talking about um, it was the gynecologist one, and she was like, I don't even want to know, but you are gross. And then we come, yeah, we're gonna have that later. Oh, look, she just texts me. Let's see.

SPEAKER_03 24:01

Let's let's quit talking about me, mom.

SPEAKER_04 24:06

What are you saying about me? And can I just tell you, you ever want to feel real bad about yourself? Look at this picture that my child has as our background. Yeah. Do you see how good I looked? Well, you look good now, too, but not like that. I love that swimsuit and that hat. That blue is your color. That first time I at at Glowcon last year, that blue on you, I was like, girl, that's yours. That's color. But that you damn. You'd be like, send that to Adam.

SPEAKER_05 24:39

Give him a little transcription.

SPEAKER_04 24:44

I wouldn't look like that again.

SPEAKER_05 24:46

I didn't even know how to wait till you're in your 50s.

SPEAKER_04 24:52

If I get one more flippin' ass spam call, I am, and it's for Medicare. I'm not old enough yet. They call me 95 times a day, and I just cuss them. I'm like, ah, yes. Stop. Medicare.

SPEAKER_03 25:12

So, Monica, I was trying to be good and not interrupt, but I saw this thing where when you're feeling anxious, and I haven't tried it yet because I have I just saw it two nights ago, but you take your left hand under your right arm, like your right arm kit, and then take your right hand and hold your bicep, and you just kind of squeeze and give yourself a hug, and it like resets your system and just like breathe. I'm gonna have to try that. Yeah, I'm not feeling nothing. I actually feel pretty good. I actually I have tingles in my back right now because I'm doing it. That's crazy. What are you doing?

SPEAKER_04 25:48

What happened?

SPEAKER_03 25:49

What's I have like tinkles in my back, like I'm calm, I can feel myself calming, and I didn't feel like I was stressed.

SPEAKER_04 25:55

I think I we're all gonna walk around like that. I just need to squeeze harder.

SPEAKER_03 26:00

Squeeze!

SPEAKER_04 26:01

Well, how do you feel too hard? I think I have to call my doctor. I think my my left implant flipped. What? What do you mean flipped? Like it did a somersault? Like I don't they like they move all around. Yeah. But like I think it kind of Okay, so we're just we're gonna go there. I was I feel like this one. So I when I like when you bend down, you know how your boobs like hang? Well, I don't have to, I don't have to bend over. Mine don't go the same way. So like this one is straight, like it's supposed to be, and this one like cones out. I feel like my implant might have shifted. Oh, okay. And then like when I look at them like this, this one's rounded, and this one like projects. So will they go back in and do or can they man can you manually can Anthony help you with that?

SPEAKER_03 27:04

Well, I guess if keep flipping, you're gonna be able to do that.

SPEAKER_04 27:07

People are gonna think I have like two partners. He does Anthony and Craig. Anthony and Craig. Um, and or Brian, because he, you know, his real name is Brian, so it can be Brian, Craig, or Anthony. I don't really know, but I've been feeling like this one has been feeling weird, like there's not as much side move as normal. So I'm gonna give it a couple days.

SPEAKER_03 27:30

It could be leaky.

SPEAKER_04 27:31

I don't really want you to give it a couple days, like call the doctor right now.

SPEAKER_03 27:36

You gotta call.

SPEAKER_04 27:38

You need to call now.

SPEAKER_03 27:39

It's not we're gonna listen, but we want to hear what they say.

SPEAKER_04 27:43

Yeah. Call and make your doctor's playbook right now. On air. I'm not doing it on air. Y'all are crazy. Let us talk to them. It's not red, it's not inflamed, it's not hot to the touch. But can that can that happen? Like they flip. See, I don't know. I don't know. They can leak. That's chapter. It's not it's full of. Mine can't mine can't leak. Mine are called gummy bears. They're called gummy bear implants. They can cut in half and it's still it doesn't leak. Does it taste like do they taste like gummy bears? Uh, can I just tell you my implants have serial codes? I have a card in my wallet. What? So if somebody steals it, I don't know. Can implant if something goes wrong, then they can all inform it. I had no idea. Like that's wow. Okay, so there are two types of flipping. Implant flipping, or some type sometimes called implant rotation. It turns inside the pocket of your breast. You might notice a flat or oddly shaped breast. What happens? Is it dangerous? It's not dangerous.

SPEAKER_05 29:03

Oh good.

SPEAKER_04 29:05

Does it mean how to fix it? Sometimes, especially with round implants, other times the doctors may adjust it manually. Wow. I definitely think that's what happened because it like I don't know. It's yeah, it looks different. You notice it's a good thing. And the projection, yeah, the projection on them is different. Well, I'm glad that it is not something that is dangerous. That's good, and that can be fixed manually if you if it doesn't fix itself, that's good. Well, something I didn't know. It just can look or feel off like it needs to be corrected. Well, I don't know, but no, my implants are called um I don't know, the unterm un the I don't know what the terminological name is or whatever, but they're called a gummy blare implant. So if they can't pop, they can't leak, they're not silicone, they're not saline, they literally like if you cut them in half, it's like a gel, and it won't rupture inside if you owe. It has like a fancy name to it. That's all that's but they're good for I have to go back sooner because of the reason I had mine put in, but they could last 20 years. Wow. Well that's awesome. And they're only they won't actually, they'll be a year old next month. Oh we need to have a little party for the titties. A little party for your your titties. Let's think of presents now. And a um say goodbye to the Tata's brunch before I have it mask me. My girlfriends did all of it for me. That's that's really sweet. They're like, do we need to take lots of pictures? And I was like, please don't take pictures of my Zaggy booths. You didn't take any pictures of them? I did.

SPEAKER_05 31:05

You did.

SPEAKER_04 31:06

Um, but I only did that because when they did my um, so I had my nipples tattooed on. They took, I don't even know what they're called. There's little like I call them milk things, the little white things around like your nipple. Yeah. Most of the time you get it. Yeah, I think they are like milk ducks. They're like a milk thing. Um she actually and like could make me cry. She looked at my picture and put my milk ducks back exactly where they were when she tattooed my nipples. So my nipples look nothing like my old nipples, but there are she put all those little white spots back in touches. She was like, I want to put put them back the way that they it so at least it looks, you know. And my nipples look so real, they look amazing. Yeah, they look so awesome, and everybody's probably like, why you guys just show you.

SPEAKER_01 32:02

Yeah, we do.

SPEAKER_04 32:03

Listen, we we are sisters on this, and yes, I but I we have seen her nipples and they look fantastic and so real, and so they do the the girl that did that, what a beautiful soul. Because you can tell she put her heart into that, into making that perfect for you. So shout out to Dr. Collins at Mercy Medical Center, and his um, I can't even pronounce her her name. It's Kaya Naddy or whatever, um, did my uh nipple tattooing. It's the medical assistant in his office. So Dr. Collins at Mercy in Baltimore City, top notch. They are one of the he's one of the top um cancer, breast cancer reconstructive surgeons that there is. That's that one. 10 out of 10 recommend mercy. Yeah, that's why awesome. Awesome. Well, this was a fun one. We didn't know where this was going. We didn't, we didn't have a plan for today. I do have one more thing before we close out because we just went through Easter about the sexual chocolate.

SPEAKER_01 33:20

You guys seen that?

SPEAKER_03 33:21

No, I have no idea what you're talking about.

SPEAKER_04 33:25

There is a warning. Is it the ones where you break it in half and he takes one half and you take one half? Well, I don't know, but I've heard the bunnies.

SPEAKER_01 33:35

Did you I shared it on Facebook because and I said, people check your Easter baskets.

SPEAKER_04 33:40

The Easter bunnies have gone a little wild this year because there's a warning out on our local um news channel saying there's a warning there had been a bunch of Viagra, a deadly amount of Viagra put into these chocolates. And I was like, It's Easter, you know. Well I see that check your chocolate for yeah, for Viagra. What a what is it? Somebody commented and said he has he has risen. I know. Okay, so I went to the original post and the comments. I mean, whoa, there was some good comments. Gives Willy Wonka a whole new mean, you know, there's all kinds of stuff. But when I got to read more about it, it actually was in these sexual and enhancement chocolates that I guess you would buy at your local porn store. I don't really know if we don't have any of those here, but um I was with the way it reading about the way it read, I was like, oh my god, the Brees peanut butter cups are holy.

SPEAKER_03 34:46

My husband eats those all the time. Like, oh women are gonna be wearing them.

SPEAKER_04 34:53

This is what I thought you were talking about. Was called it's called tabs. What's tabs? It's vegetarian. Oh it is it's a sex chocolate, it like takes effect in 30 minutes. Um let me see. It's like an intimacy chocolate. They have gummies for that too.

SPEAKER_03 35:20

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 35:21

I am putting it in Adam's Easter pack or well for next year. I don't clue. Like, look, I'll recommend it. You know, just for jokesies. But like it's so cute. Like, look how like the packaging. Oh, that is like you take half and they take half. What's in it? Uh what's it called? Elevate anxiety. Maybe I just need to take it in general. You just need to eat them every day. Elevates mood, crushes anxiety, and creates warp. Warp. So, like, some of these like oh my god. Here new improving your love life could be so yummy. Oh, okay. I just Googled it.

SPEAKER_00 36:10

Join the Mile High Club.

SPEAKER_03 36:12

I got Alice Happy Endings chocolate increases desire arousal, promotes blood flow.

SPEAKER_04 36:21

Oh my god. And see, these chocolates that they're warning people about on the news, they were already a sexual enhancement, which I didn't know that when I first initially read that. I thought the Easter bunny had gone, wow, really. And but they put deadly amounts of Viagra in these certain chocolate bars. Oh my god. Deadly amounts of uh-huh. I didn't know there were deadly amounts of Viagra. I I knew that there was some that you know, you see on the commercial, if it lasts longer than eight hours, go to the ER. And I have my niece a nurse, and she said that happens more than you would think it does. Like people are in the ER, like, hey, going on like my 15th hour here, help.

SPEAKER_03 37:04

You guys, this one says sex chocolate tongue tabs. Yes, it's a tongue tab. Oh a tongue tab. Oh, I know.

SPEAKER_04 37:14

You stick it on your tongue. Oh my god. Michelle is like, what? Let's get some turn it up without the rest of the morning after you turn down. Oh, these are for like sleep. You can sleep, you can chill. If somebody's eating them chocolate bars, ain't nobody getting no sleep. This is different. Um they got all the things they got, they've got sex chocolates play the viral sex chocolate.

SPEAKER_03 37:49

You guys, I'm gonna scream without the alcohol. Get green. No turn down service here.

SPEAKER_00 37:59

Oh my lord. Okay.

SPEAKER_03 38:02

I don't even know what you guys are on. I can't even get it. It's sold off.

SPEAKER_04 38:07

Daniel. That would have been a great next episode for you to review that for us. Everybody's me. So my my kids are still home for spring break. She said, Courtney, just text me. Will you please stop talking about sex chocolates? I'm uncomfortable and I'm calling the trusted adult. She cracks it. Sorry, Court. Sorry, Court. I'm not. This is grand life. She is. She's got two years and she's gonna be in college dealing with a whole bunch of crazies. So she can learn to deal with the crazies at time. But it was wonderful being on with you guys today. And love when we do this. And if I'm sending this to my husband right now. Yeah. If you're looking for something to boost your sex drive or chill out, crazy. Michelle.

SPEAKER_01 39:01

Michelle won't be able to sit down in the next episode.

SPEAKER_00 39:09

Oh my gosh. Bye, guys. Love y'all. See ya. Bye.

SPEAKER_01 39:16

And that's a wrap on this episode of Hair It First. Thanks for hanging out with us. We hope you laughed, learned, and maybe felt a little more seen through all of the good hair days and the hot mess ones too.

SPEAKER_03 39:26

Remember, we're just sharing our own thoughts and experiences. No medical plans or professional advice here. Just real talk from stylists and moms who get it.

SPEAKER_02 39:35

Don't forget to follow, subscribe, and share hair at first with your fellow beauty lovers and boss moms. We will catch you next time with more stories, laughs, and probably a little conditioner in our hair.