Hair It Ferst
Welcome to the Hair It Ferst Podcast—the space where conversations about hair, beauty, and motherhood come first. Hosted by Tessa Mehl, Monica McCafferty, and Michelle Brockie, this show dives into real stories, shared experiences, and honest opinions about life, self-care, and the journey of womanhood.
Each episode is designed to feel like a cozy chat among friends—whether you’re looking for inspiration, relatable laughs, or a deeper connection to the world of hair and beauty.
Disclaimer: The hosts are not medical professionals. Nothing shared on this podcast should be taken as medical advice or claims. Hair It Ferst is simply a space for open conversations, learning, and connecting.
So grab your coffee, settle in, and join the conversation—because here, hair and life always come first.
Hair It Ferst
We Had Topics Planned... Then Accidentally Got Deep
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What started as tanning pools, Zoom-call disasters, and shaky pudding arms somehow turned into one of the realest conversations we’ve had yet. This week the girls talk burnout, friendship, negativity, learning to speak up, pandemic salon memories, and why finding your people matters more than ever. Also: Tessa may or may not have flashed a Zoom meeting once.
Typical Hair It Ferst behavior.
Hey, hey, hey, gorgeous people. Welcome to the Hair at First Podcast where Great Hair meets real life. We're your hosts, Tessa, Monica, Kevin Shaw. Free stylists, moms, besties. We're keeping it real about beauty, business, and the chaos of motherhood.
SPEAKER_00We're here to share stories, left way too loud, and maybe spoke a little shampoo along the way. Just a quick heads off. We're not making any medical claims or giving professional advice here, just sharing our own thoughts, opinions, and experiences.
SPEAKER_04So grab your coffee, your paper blanket, and let's hair it first.
SPEAKER_03Good morning and welcome back to Hair It First Podcast. You're with Monica, Michelle, and Tessa. If you are returning, thank you for following along with us. If you're brand new here, put on your big girl panties because it's always a vibe. How are you girls this morning? Good morning. Good morning. Good morning. It is a beautiful, beautiful day today here. How about it? You guys is in your areas freezing.
SPEAKER_04Uh the sun is shining. We had 80s and 90s all last week, and it's been um like low 50s, 40s, 30s at night. So we go from heat to air conditioning. You know, it's fine. But the sun is officially shining. Yeah. So can't hate it. Trees are blowing.
SPEAKER_03At this point.
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_03It's pretty. It's very pretty. Yeah.
SPEAKER_04But I'm ready for like summer, 90 degrees. I want to lay. I went I went to Walmart and got this. It's like a tanning little pool thing. It just puts a little bit of water in the bottom. It's got a cup holder and a pillow, and I'm so excited. I want to use it soap. I got one left here. Did you? Yes. And I love it. Okay. I said I got it for my my 16-year-old, but I I in fact did not. I got it for me and she could just borrow it.
SPEAKER_03You can use it when mom's not using it.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, like when am I gonna have the time to use it? Is the real thing. I used mine twice last year.
SPEAKER_03Like I don't even have time to go to the gym. Yeah. Yeah, me neither.
SPEAKER_00It's ridiculous. I actually was gonna bring my weights in here while we were doing this and just do some art workout. Because I looked at my arm yesterday. I had the short sleeve shirt on. I was like, what in the hell is happening? It's all crazy. I mean, I am gonna be 56, but being girls.
SPEAKER_04I saw this thing. This woman had got, you know how this part jiggles? She had gotten a girl on a swing. So that way when she went like and shook her arm, it takes so long. It was so like honestly, it was so funny, but it was so cute. It was like a little stick finger girl on a swing, and when she shook her flab, like it was the girl swinging. I love that. It was hilarious. I was like, you know what? If I'm gonna have shaky pudding, I call it shaky pudding. If I'm gonna have shaky pudding, I at least would have put a swing, a girl on a swing. Make it fun. People are gonna look at it anyway.
SPEAKER_00You might as well enjoy.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. Well, if you bring your arm weights in, be cautious of where you put them. Because I don't know if you guys recall at the very beginning of FermaGlow, and I was new to Zoom calls and things. And one morning I was rushing so hard to get in here in front of the camera for a zoom call. And you know, sometimes we don't wear the proper bottoms because you can't see it, so we always make sure we have tops. Well, I made it in here in a sweater and my underwear, but nobody could tell until I got up to get something and tripped over my arm weight and it's in the air, and I was like mortified. I laid in the floor for a second, and I they were going, they seen me fall, but didn't see my ass. Thank God. That's funny. Wear fully wear your bottoms and watch where you put your weights. Noted.
unknownNoted.
SPEAKER_04That is that is great, by the way. Like, how real is that? Like, I remember like during COVID, I would literally just get my top half ready if I had like a meeting or something. And the bottom half of me was definitely not was definitely not business. Yeah. And everybody was doing it. Like you'd have you on your nice, like collared shirt with like a blazer top, like looking professional, getting your life together, and underneath you were in uh pajama pants, or that's what my girls would do when they log on for school because the teachers were like, You don't show up in your pajamas, like come on, yeah. But they go to school, and my oldest definitely goes to school in what looks like pajamas every day. That's irrelevant. Um, so they would they would have like a regular shirt on and they'd have their pajama pants on the bottom half, and they're like, What are they gonna ask to see my pants? And I'm like, you better hope they don't be sitting there in underwear.
SPEAKER_00Did you guys do like mini color things for your clients to do their color at home? So the color company I'd work with, they sold us these. It was like a little, what do I want to say? Think of like an eye glass or eye contact case, but deeper, and then it went down into a nozzle. And so we would put color in developer, and then they could do like you know, an inch on the top, and then their sides, so it would get them through so they weren't using ship color.
SPEAKER_02I think I would put it on my porch with directions.
SPEAKER_00I would give up gloves, a brush, a throwaway cape, this product, um, and a bowl. And then, like the when they, you know, because it lasted a little bit longer than just one treatment or one color, then they wouldn't get all that the second time. But I put instructions in their name. And it looked like I think of like Mary Kay with all their little bath or all their bags of stuff with people's names on them. That's what my front porch looked like. And people, I had an envelope out there, and people would drop their money in and take their bag.
SPEAKER_03I knew people were doing that, but I was like, nope, I promise you guys, I will not touch my hair, I will not wax my face, I will not nothing until we go back as well. We all had huge mustaches and feet, overgrown birth eyebrows, you know, boots and hair. Now, oh some of my clients would call me crying because they were sick of their kids and got dry and cut their hair with the kitchen scissors, you know. I had to fix some things, some things I couldn't fix. We had to let grow up when we were finally able to go back.
SPEAKER_04But that was such a hard like I didn't do that. Um, and it's crazy to me because looking back now, the people that I had have still that come in like every three weeks for their root touch-up, they were the ones that were like, girl, it's fine.
unknownRight.
SPEAKER_04And then the ones that I see like once every six months are like, can you please take me? And I'm like, listen, if Kim, who I see every three weeks, like clockwork, but is 100% gray and is a level four can handle not seeing me, so can you. Like, if she's out there living her life, you as well. You can live your life with no gray and you want your balayage touched up. But it was crazy. Like, people were like, I'll come to your house. And I was like, I don't, I don't want you to come to my house. Exactly. I well, I had just found out I was pregnant with Colton. We had our first doctor's appointment March 17th. I got my positive pregnancy test on Valentine's Day, and we went to our first doctor's appointment on March 17th, and then the world shut down like a week later. So I'm like, no idea what is going on. I'm like, oh my god, I'm gonna have a baby in the middle of a pan. Like, what does that look like? Am I gonna have to deliver alone? I went to all of our doctor's appointments alone. Uh, like I would FaceTime him so like he could see things, but like the first time my doctor ever met him was the day we delivered. Wow, and she walked in and Colton was huge. In utero, Du Bois was ginormous. She would walk in and be like, girl, why is your baby so big? And I'm like, she is shout out to Dr. Gordon. She is my favorite, she was my favorite doctor I've ever had. She was so real with me, and she did she look at me like, Why is your baby so big? This is like your baby is huge. And I'm like, listen, I'm not huge. So if this baby's too big, you're gonna have to cut it out. Like, I'm not, we're not doing that. So they ended up, I had uh, I was insulin-dependent, diabetic when I was pregnant. So we went in to have him, and she looked at Craig and was like, that's why your baby's so big. And I was like, it is in fact true, that is the truth. And then when we our doctor's office closed in the middle of my pregnancy with Raylan, so she was gone. I was 32 weeks pregnant and had to transfer doctors. Oh, so I was panicking, and this woman is so amazing that she did not have any privileges at AAMC and was going to get privileges to come deliver my baby, and she ended up not being able to get there. I had her that morning at 8:30 and at 10:45, that woman was in my room holding my baby. And she was like, I wasn't here to deliver her, but damn sure I'm gonna be here to see her. And like the real doctor, like my doctor that delivered her, walked in and was like, Hey, Dr. Gordon, and she was like, This is my patient, she's been my patient for five years. I've been through two babies with her, I'm coming home, my baby. And she was like, I wasn't saying anything, I was just checking on her. She was like, She's fine, you can go.
SPEAKER_03All doctors have you. So yes, those types of doctors mean everything. Not enough of them left in the world.
SPEAKER_04There is not, and I feel like doctors today, like it's really hard to find one that actually listens to you. Do you know, like, truly listens? Like, I know my body, I know what's going on with my body, I know when something doesn't feel right. Just because your textbook tells you that this is what's wrong, like, I know me.
SPEAKER_00Well, you gotta get them to look up from their computer because they're literally like they ask you, they don't like even the nurses don't even look at you, they're just like, Are you feeling depressed? Do you want to harm yourself? And they're clicking boxes, clicking boxes, clicking boxes, clicking boxes. I'm like, Are you gonna look at me? Because sometimes what I'm feeling is not on your list of things for you to notice something.
SPEAKER_04They're so quick for women to be like, it's your hormones. No, it's not. No, it's it's not, it's actually not, in fact, my hormones. Like, I'm telling you that something is wrong. Don't tell me that it's my hormones. Don't tell me it's because I'm premenopausal or perimenopausal or I'm going through menopause. Like, let's get down to the root of what's going on. But they don't do that because they have like 15 minutes allotted for you, and they're already running 45 minutes behind.
SPEAKER_00Well, that's when you need to go to a naturopath, and that costs thousands out of pocket, and it's not covered under insurance.
SPEAKER_04Nope. And it's because the naturopathic doctors are the ones that are actually getting to the root of your problem, and that doesn't make big pharma any money. 100% zero dollars and zero cents.
SPEAKER_00The naturopath doctors are what doctors used to be. Uh-huh. You know, they look at you, they touch you, you know. It's yeah.
SPEAKER_04Have you guys ever heard of Dr. Casey Means? She wrote a book called Good Energy or Clean Energy or something like that. I'll have to look it up. She was a M, she is an MD. She was in her fourth-year residency for ANT. And this woman had come in that was having her second or third surgery, and she looked at her, I guess like the person that was like on over top of her and was like, Yeah, but this isn't like she's gonna keep coming back in with the same problem. Like, how do we fix the root cause of the problem? Because she's a surgical student. And he was like, We cut, that's what our job is. And she ended her surgical residency and said, I will never cut somebody again until I figure out why things are the way that they are and what the root cause is. And she wrote this amazing book, and she was like, it just doesn't make sense. Like nobody is trying, we're as doctors, we're taught to write scripts. Just write a script. There's a medicine to fix it, write a script, but nobody's figuring out why it is the way that it is, and it is an amazing, amazing book to read because she's so authentic and she's so I don't know, she's just so real, and she gives you like stories, like she lived it. And I just I her book was so amazing. I listened to it on Audible because I don't have the brain capacity. That's funny that you talk about a book.
SPEAKER_00I just brought this in because I bought this when I went on vacation. Never did. I never read it. Ironically, this is who everybody thinks I look like is Mel Robbins.
SPEAKER_04It is. I've listened to it three times.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, three times.
SPEAKER_04I'm actually finishing, I'm reading it for the third time, like right now. It plays in my car. I need to get the book. The Let Them Theory. I'm on chapter 19. This is the third time I've read it. Yeah, nice, nice, it's gonna change my life, right? Her books on the atomic habits and the five-second rule are amazing. Amazing. Yep, I love her, and she has such a Courtney says she likes to fall asleep to listening to her. She's just got that voice that's just like I don't know. Like I fall asleep to Matthew McConaughey every night, so who am I to judge? Love him. He's on the Calm app and he reads me a bedtime story every night.
SPEAKER_03I like Samuel L. Jackson's bedtime stories. Oh, he's a good one too.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, but he is a good one too. Monica heard one? No. Is he like murder?
SPEAKER_03No, he is cussing the whole time. It's the funniest, they're the funniest bedtime nursery rhymes ever. So sometime, check out those.
SPEAKER_04Okay, this is what this book's called. It's called Good Energy.
SPEAKER_00Good energy. I'm gonna write it down.
SPEAKER_04Good energy. Yes. Gotta love it. I love a good book, like a good self-help book. Because I feel like when I'm listening to it, I'm like, look, that is totally doable. And the let them theory, that you would think that you're like, when I first listened to it the first time, I was like, no, I'm not letting people just walk all over me. And that's it's not what it is. It's giving you your power back. Like, I'm gonna let them be however they want to be, and I'm not gonna let their negativity influence my positive. And I'm really, really, really bad about that. I I don't know what it's called, but I'm the type of person that like if somebody else isn't in a bad mood, it almost like transcends to me, and then I'm in a bad mood. And I could have been in the best mood ever. I don't know.
SPEAKER_00When people do things raw, like when I say wrong, like not my wrong, just ethically wrong. I have a hard time letting that stuff go. And I I learned just in the last, you know, 10 years of my life, when you get upset like that, it ruins your day, not theirs. Yeah. And so you're giving, like you just said, you're giving them the power to ruin your day. And yes, no, you take your power back. So that's why I really I want to, you know, I'm waiting for a time that I could dive into this. And I've got my highlighter ready and all that jazz, but I've just decided I'm not letting people do, and I'm not saying I don't, but it doesn't happen every now and again because it does, but you know, I just I kind of learned through my divorce. It didn't, it didn't bother them, it was bothering me for you know a year and a half, and just every time I thought about certain things, I would just oh inside, and then I yeah, I don't I just start going to a happy place. Anytime you think about something that really, really upsets you, and I know this works because I did it. When you think of something that really gets you fired up, think of the happiest time in your life, and you retrain your brain, and that is how I get over all the bullshit of my divorce.
SPEAKER_04I also kind of do what you do. Like, I think is it affecting them the same way that it's affecting me?
SPEAKER_00Never.
SPEAKER_04Like, now you know it is it bothering them the way that it bothers me? Because if it's not bothering them, why am I letting it bother me? It's it doesn't have anything to do with me. And that's the other thing. I've only started like, and I'm I just it's never perfect, but I'm like, okay, is this a big deal in this moment or is this a big deal in general? Like am I making a mountain out of a molehill because I'm tired or I'm hungry or things like that, or is this a is this truly bothering me? And I have a theory that if it bothers me for more than 24 hours, it actually bothers me. If I'm over it, you know, I try to let things sit with me for a little bit, you know, like before I say something, because I'm like, is this bothering me in this moment, or is this truly bothering me? And I'm really bad at reacting. I'm very reactive person, and then I'm over it. So, like, yeah, yes, and then I'm like, shit, I made that a huge deal and I'm really not that worried about it anymore. But now I've done made it a big deal, so do I need to continue to keep it making it a big deal because I've just already made it a big deal, and then I overanalyze that.
SPEAKER_00Oh, everything, yes, me too.
SPEAKER_04Tessa, do you do that?
SPEAKER_03You're not you don't do that? I yeah, I take in everything, but I have learned in my old age that from now on I'm not gonna sit on it, I'm not gonna let it bother me. I'm gonna say it when I don't give a crap who, what I'm saying it, I'm over it, and honestly, I'd really done well got getting to that point, and lately I have not been doing that. I'm letting it just simmer and it's weighing me down, and I don't like that feeling because I will go to bed with it, I will get up with it. It is 24-7, I don't sleep, that's all I think about. And so I gotta get back to because it was the most sad. I mean, I was like, when I decided I was just gonna start coming out with it, if something made me mad, if something made me sad, if it's some I'm not gonna hold it all in anymore because it's that's hurting me. Whether it was affecting them like it was me or not, I didn't care. Don't put me in that situation, they'll tell me that stuff, and then maybe I, you know, so um I have been finding myself holding back more again lately, and I find myself back in a space I don't like. Like her. And so, and also I have had it with someone that's negative 24 or 7 is the most draining thing ever. We can all be negative at times and we can all share things that are really, but when it's 24 or 7, negative, negative, negative, it's like I can't be around that person no more. I have got to separate myself, but you know, I I don't know.
SPEAKER_04I just I I I feel like that's you acknowledging that and saying like I know I'm back in a space that it is not good for me. Like I love that because we're gonna make sure that you just speak your mind. I'd be like, how does Tessa really feel about it? Tessa.
SPEAKER_03Well, you know me. I usually will be like, but I wasn't always like that. I had just, I was like, there was a point in time where I was like, I'm done. I'm done. I'm gonna just say, no matter if I'm the world's biggest bitch, I am just gonna, I'm tired of, but all three of us are the same way where we take so much in and we are everyone's people. I'm sure you guys are like that when people need something or they're sad or they're happy or they're hurt or they're whatever, you're their person. Yeah. And no it's exhausting. If it's it's the most exhausting thing, and it's not that we don't love that. I want to be here for everybody as much as I possibly can, but what it can do to you, you have to finally wake up and realize the ones that are stuck in that pattern and never going to get out of that, and how you're going to let that affect you because sometimes it just gets too overwhelming.
SPEAKER_04Yeah. I mean I also you can positive thinking promotes a positive outcome. You can look at your cup as half full or half empty. Yeah. Like it doesn't matter. There's still the same amount of water in it. But are you gonna look at it as it's half full or are you gonna look at it as it's half empty? And positive, like the positive vibes do rub off on people.
SPEAKER_05For sure.
SPEAKER_04Like I know that I can get on this in the morning and be in the worst mood. And if you two are positive, we're all positive. Like it's a flip switch, a switch flips. But like there are also days where we walk in here and we all in the same boat. Our boat is sanking, but we can bail that water out together. And I feel like as long as you find your people, yes, it does feel like those little things that maybe feel like the whole world is on your shoulders. People, your people can help take that weight off. Yeah, like I know I look forward to our shooting days every week.
SPEAKER_00Me too.
SPEAKER_04Because I know that when I walk in this room, all the weight of everything that's on the outside, you know, we are three busy salon owners. We are very big in Fermaglow, we're stylist advisory board, like we're doing all of these things and we're being here for all these people, but in this time, it's just us, yeah, it's just us talking to our people, yeah, talking to our listeners and talking to each other. And you know, sometimes we have a plan and it does not go the way we were thinking, just like this episode, but just like this episode, but for some reason, we all needed this, yeah.
SPEAKER_03We we really did, and you're right, Monica. The we can all be in the worst moods, we can all be so negative, even in our little group chat and and um on here in the morning before we start, but we pull each other out of it, and we know that this is a safe space where we can get all of that out, but we also know it's not a space that's gonna keep us in it and we're gonna continue to drown the rest of the day.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, we each other, we we pull each other out of it and every single time because and I love that, and I love the fact that this is such a safe space with you guys that I can do that, like I can be put on my negative pants and not even mean to, but then I'm like, Tessa, good god, quick being so negative. Monica and Michelle are like want to probably want to kill you, but um then we never admit to it. We pull each other out. You guys are secretly texting. No, no, but yeah, I love I love it. I love um our relationship and the fact that we've met once says you know, that's even vaguer.
SPEAKER_04The fact that we have met in person one time is insane, and I am so excited for all of us to be together in July. It's gonna get so sloppy and we're gonna shoot away. We're gonna shoot a live stylist advisory board, yes, all together podcast, hopefully, and a live podcast. Hopefully, we can do that. Yes.
SPEAKER_03Um, also, I want to bring up how about the fact that Kelly, Kelly is our she is the glue to this company. Yeah, Elmer. That's her nickname, is Elmer. Oh my god, of course she's able. I don't know she's like, I gotta get a shirt and a hat. I'm like, yeah, I'm gonna get you one. Oh my god, we should get her one and bring it to Glowcon. Yes, but she brought to the our attention the other day. She messaged Monica and Michelle and I. Yeah, this is so I just seen, I've seen this, and she's like, I don't remember how she said it, but she was like, You can't tell me that God didn't put this together. So in the company, we all have numbers. My number is number two, I'm number 28, 28, and Michelle's is 228. And she's like, How crazy is that that you three? She's like, God, God totally.
SPEAKER_04This is what she said. Hey girls, so this is extremely random, but it's something that I noticed the other day, and I thought it was wow, such a God moment. So Tessa, your BBID is number two. Monica, your BPID is 28. And Michelle, your BPID is 228. You cannot tell me that the three of you were not meant to be besties and to be doing what you're doing together. I love it. Me too. And she was like, it made my day when I noticed it. And I'm like, there's so many God moments out there.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_04And when you work with people that are all aligned the same way, like Kelly literally does all the most of the back end stuff for the company. Like she is busy. And she took time out of her day to text the three of us and be like, I noticed this, and this is such a God moment. Like, I had to tell you.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_04Like, and to me, that shows a lot about the people that we have in our company.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_04Like since we've been on this podcast, I've, you know, I've gotten a text from our CEO. Like, you tell me how often that happens in other companies. Right. I've been in a lot of companies before, and I ain't never heard from the CEO at nine o'clock Eastern time on a Monday. Yeah. Like you just don't, you don't do it. And you know, she's texting us at three o'clock in the morning. Oh yeah. She doesn't sleep. She doesn't have an alarm o'clock. Tony. I'm like, I wake up and I'm like, voice memo from Tony. That's yep, that's about right. But you're an hour behind us. You're an hour behind us, Tessa. So our five o'clock in the morning text message is really a four o'clock in the morning text message. Well, I get them at 2 45 a.m.
SPEAKER_02sometimes.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, because she wakes up about 3 30. So it's the first to the gym and stuff. And yeah, and I don't mind. I'm like, all right, well, workday has started. Let's do it. Why am I wasting time in bed?
SPEAKER_04But see, when you guys when you love the people you work with and you love what you do, it makes a 345 text message be like, you know what? Let's get out of bed. Let's get something done. You know, I do my best work in the morning. Yep, me too. And they say that your first, I think it's your first three hours of wait time, you're the most productive you'll be all day because you're firing on all of your cylinders. Yeah. I've read that somewhere. Look how bad we are. Right? So productive.
SPEAKER_03But I I tell people that all the time, Monica. And they're like, man, are you just absolutely exhausted? You know, with the salon, with everyday life, and then with Fermaglow. And I'm like, I am. I absolutely am. But it's the best exhausted I've ever been in my whole entire life. It does not bother me. I absolutely love it. When I wake up in the morning, I'm so excited to start my Fermaglow day. I just, I'm just so excited about it. I'm excited to get to the salon. I can't tell you the last time I said that. Right. I'm so excited now because it's it's lit a new spark under me um to love what I do. And and my I love my clients. I love them. I mean, I love mine too much. I love them so much. They're my family. But you you sometimes get burnout as a hairdresser, and this lit a spark that I needed so much.
SPEAKER_00So 100%.
SPEAKER_03I love it. Where okay, when we started this episode, you guys, all you listeners out there, we had topics. And we did not talk about one of our topics in this. But that's okay. It is. We're gonna talk about it next time. Yeah, look at us. We just this is how comfortable we are with what we're doing. We just start talking, and it's just the best. It's so easy. I love it.
SPEAKER_04You know, I love you guys. I love you guys belonging to you.
SPEAKER_03I too.
SPEAKER_02Okay, well, uh, we will talk to you all next Friday and hope to see all the ones that have stayed along with us this far. Hope you keep staying along, and all you new ones that have joined in, hang on. Wait for the ride, baby. See you next time. Bye. Bye.
SPEAKER_01And that's a wrap on this episode of Hair First. Thanks for hanging out with us. We hope you laughed, learned, and maybe felt a little more seen for all the good hair days and the hot mess ones too.
SPEAKER_00Remember, we're just sharing our own thoughts and experiences. No medical plans or professional advice here. Just real talk from stylists and moms who get it.
SPEAKER_04Don't forget to follow, subscribe, and share hair first with your fellow beauty lovers and boss moms. We will catch you next time with more stories, laughs, and probably a little conditioner in our hair.