Hair It Ferst
Welcome to the Hair It Ferst Podcast—the space where conversations about hair, beauty, and motherhood come first. Hosted by Tessa Mehl, Monica McCafferty, and Michelle Brockie, this show dives into real stories, shared experiences, and honest opinions about life, self-care, and the journey of womanhood.
Each episode is designed to feel like a cozy chat among friends—whether you’re looking for inspiration, relatable laughs, or a deeper connection to the world of hair and beauty.
Disclaimer: The hosts are not medical professionals. Nothing shared on this podcast should be taken as medical advice or claims. Hair It Ferst is simply a space for open conversations, learning, and connecting.
So grab your coffee, settle in, and join the conversation—because here, hair and life always come first.
Hair It Ferst
From Cruise Ship Chaos to Tapeworm Talk
Use Left/Right to seek, Home/End to jump to start or end. Hold shift to jump forward or backward.
What starts as a normal conversation somehow turns into:
🚢 Cruise ship nightmares
👽 Alien theories
♍ Zodiac compatibility
🪱 Parasite cleanses
💊 Hormone talk
😂 And complete squirrel-brain energy
Welcome to Hair It Ferst.
#FunnyPodcast #WomenWhoPodcast #CruiseStories #ConspiracyTalk #ComedyClips
Hey, hey, hey, gorgeous people. Welcome to the Hair at First Podcast where great hair meets real life. We're your hosts, Tessa, Monica, have a job. Free stylists, mom, besties. We're keeping it real about beauty, business, and the chaos of motherhood.
SPEAKER_00We're here to share stories, left way too loud, and maybe spoke a little shampoo along the way. Just a quick heads-up. We're not making any medical claims or giving professional advice here, just sharing our own thoughts, opinions, and experiences.
SPEAKER_01So grab your coffee, your paper blanket, and let's hair it first.
SPEAKER_02Good morning and welcome back to Hair It First. If you are returning, thank you so much for following us along. If you are new here, please um subscribe, like, and subscribe, and that way you never miss an episode. It is a good time here. We're a bunch of good time Sally's. That's my mom's name. Oh, oh, I love that. You never told us your mom's name was Sally. Good time Sally. Good time Sally. You know that song Mustangs? Yeah, I do. And I was gonna continue seeing it. Mustang dance. Yeah, I have a whole dance to that.
SPEAKER_00Why does that not shock me? We're gonna go all in Dallas. We are gonna watch. We need to find a karaoke bar for sure. No, we don't. Yes, we do. Yes, we do. No, we don't. But can we go at like six? Because I don't like to stay out.
SPEAKER_02I want to be home by four. So I'm gonna be home at bed by nine. Yeah, yeah. Well, how about we'll go at two in the afternoon and then we're by six, you know.
SPEAKER_00Because then your hangover is done. Yeah. You you have your hangover at nine at night, and then you're good in the morning.
SPEAKER_02Uh, I'm gonna tell you guys something though. When I am drinking, it's hard to get me to go down. I know.
SPEAKER_00I get like that too.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, I get like that. It's like uh look, Monica. What are you Monica's little sweet baby face over there? What is that face that you're just I just it's just gonna be interesting.
SPEAKER_00Because we're old, she's not.
SPEAKER_01Uh no, I am the oldest soul ever. This is true. Like I like with us. I know. I like I like sleep. Crank. So we went out uh Friday night, and I was ready to go home. He wasn't, we had had the best week together, so like I was like, you know what? You do you, Bill. Go ahead. So I don't even know what time he got home. I was asleep listening to Matthew McConaughey, leaving my bedtime story, which now he is totally used to. He doesn't even like make any weird face anymore when he comes home. No, he's just used to going to bed with Matt.
SPEAKER_02Just me and Matthew love that.
SPEAKER_00All right, Tessa.
SPEAKER_02What is going on with the Disney cruise? Have you guys looked it up or seen it on the news yet? I have not. I well, I I heard a little.
SPEAKER_01I saw it on Facebook.
SPEAKER_00Yes, I saw just a flirt, but I we have people.
SPEAKER_01But I also didn't know if it was legit, and I didn't like I didn't deep dive into it because I didn't want it to make me super, super, super sad.
SPEAKER_02So, anyways, yeah, you hear all these conspiracy theories about Disney World, Disneyland, all these things. And and I've never taken a huge deep dive into those two areas, but then when I seen this come out, I was like, oh my gosh. And you're always seeing seeing something new about cruises. I'm never going on. I mean, we just had a cruise ship come in with people that are dying and dead and have this deadly virus. No, yeah, not doing it. I don't know if you guys had ever seen um poop deck, cruise line poop deck on Netflix. Oh, poop deck. Oh my god.
SPEAKER_00So we talked about this? No. I thought we did. All right. Where everyone went, the ship shut down. So yes.
SPEAKER_01It's on Netflix.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, yes, yes, and all over the ship. People were moving their mattresses and things out to the deck days and days and days.
SPEAKER_00They had no mattresses, they took like sheets to make to cover to keep the sun off them. They didn't have the food was going rancid. Okay. That's so gross. I'm gonna tell you something. We went on a Disney cruise, and it was one of the funnest times I've ever had. It was uh amazing. With that being said, my child was next to me at all times. Yes, and you know, and we talked about this a little bit, Tessa, but there's a whole thing about Disney and it's bad things, bad, like the innuendos in all of the cartoons and the worship signs of not good things.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. So on the Disney cruise, they have a child's play where they come pick up your kids every morning and keep them until like whenever you want to come get them. There is like one of the highlights of like that cruise. So it's like you can get that parrot time while you're on. And we were supposed to go on a Disney cruise next year, and I'm like, maybe we won't. You're not.
SPEAKER_02Let me read this to you. Staffers on a Disney cruise ship docked in San Diego were among 28 people arrested by U.S. Customs and Border Protection as part of a child sexual exploit exploitation material operation. According to the federal agency, between April 23rd and April 27th, CPB boarded eight cruise ships as part of the investigation. The agency did not specify that one of them was a Disney cruise until the California Pro Post broke that news. Law enforcement interviewed 26 suspected crew members from Philippines, one suspected from Portugal, and one from Indonesia. Officers confirmed that 27 of the 28 subjects were involved in either the receipt, possession, transportation, distribution, or viewing of CSEM or child pornography. You guys.
SPEAKER_00Distribution?
SPEAKER_02Well, okay, so when these I have guessed. And that's how women get raped and and and don't come back from cruise ships and stuff. Yes. These uh staff members are taking them down below, and then when everybody's off at off on a port or something, then they're trading these these girls off. And there's a huge documentary on Netflix about one specific girl, and it is so crazy. What is that documentary called?
SPEAKER_01Uh, Adam.
SPEAKER_02You can't remember. I'm gonna have to look that up.
SPEAKER_01When we get done, you need to tell me because I guess my life tonight is gonna be documentaries.
SPEAKER_02Yes. Yes. Um, do you remember that? What that um documentary is about that girl that was on the cruise ship that got kidnapped or disappearance of the one bloody act. Disappearance of, I can't remember her name, is what he said. Okay. Disappearance was disappearance of. But it it's been a whole thing for a lot of years, but they finally covered it. So started it with an A or Okay, well that wasn't very helpful that we can.
SPEAKER_01Well, it kind of is because I can type in disappearance of and it'll pop up. That's true. And I can just take my pick for what I guess whatever what I want to watch. And if I don't get the right one, at least I'll have something.
SPEAKER_02Yes. How about I just want you guys to know that a spokesperson person for Disney Cruise Line issued the following statement to Variety. We have a zero tolerance tolerance policy for this type of behavior and fully cooperated with law force enforcement. While the majority of these individuals were not from our cruise line, those who were no were are no longer with our company.
SPEAKER_01No shit, they're in jail.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, what are you talking about?
SPEAKER_02They were hired by them. So clearly, yeah, and obviously they're not. You can't tell me that 27 of your staff members you didn't know. So so they didn't dive deep.
SPEAKER_00They didn't have to be able to get somebody.
SPEAKER_01How many of them were Disney? How many of them were Carnival or Royal Corbia? It doesn't have all the breakdown. It doesn't, but 27 of them from the Disney cruise line. There were 27 from Disney. Oh, yes. Yeah, no, yes. Yes, I can see if it was like one random ass person, you know what I mean, on the Disney and everybody else was on a different cruise line. Yes. Yes.
SPEAKER_02When is this one vacation in April? Passengers aboard the Disney Magic ship captured video footage of several employees being arrested. Well, yeah, as they should. Um, yeah, I that's about all of that article for now. Amy Bradley is missing. Amy Bradley is missing. That's the name of it. Thank you, honey. Amy Cradley. Okay, gotta love it.
SPEAKER_01I'm really glad you're not at work. Johnny Corn dog.
SPEAKER_02Okay, let's not go that far. Stop it. He's getting ready to leave for physical therapy. Um, so yeah, I going on a cruise. And have you guys seen Captain Phillips? Come on. It took them how long to get out to save these people in the middle of nowhere. That was with uh Tom Hanks and stuff in the top of the house. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Tommy, with all of our why, okay. We could go to the moon, but we can't get out to the We didn't go to the Moon! I know we didn't, but this is just we can't get out there to save them for like weeks. They're just peep pirates are just raping everybody and stuff and stealing everything, but we can't get out there to save these people in a manner time, just like the poop deck. Why did it take them so long to get these four people off of this cruise ship?
SPEAKER_00Well, and cruise ships were coming by and giving them food. How let's send an empty one out there and have them off the plate to the empty one and go home. It's not practical, it's because we weren't in charge.
SPEAKER_02That's exactly right. People are gonna discover us. I'm not gonna say NASA's. If if NASA discovers us, they're not gonna hire me because we had we had that talk again this weekend.
SPEAKER_01I was like, so Carrie, did we go to the moon? She said, I think we circled the moon this time. She said, but I'm gonna tell you right now, there is no way we went to the moon in the 60s. There's no way, no way. She said, because why would we need to do as many things as we're doing now? You know, and of course, this is all just us talking. They very well could have. I don't know. She says that's not my department. She said, I tell them what they can spend money on, and that's it. Guys, well, tell her to they can't spend money on that anymore. No more than that million. I was like, that's my question. Like, why do we have to if we've already done it once, why do we have to go back so many times before we can land on the moon again? And she was like, that's why I just don't think we went. She was like, because in my brain, that's logical too. Like, if we've already been once, why do we have to go and circle it four or five times? Like, if we already know we can land on it, why don't we just land on it?
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_01And I was like, Well, we had a conversation on our podcast. I said, You got brought up about life outside, like on other planets. And she was like, I fully believe that there is other habitats out there. She said, and a lot of people who work for NASA, the reason they chose the career path that they're in is because that's what they want to focus on. That they really do believe that there are other life forms other out there and other places that we can't habitate. And I'm like, well, I think it's pretty cool. And I believe that there is. I don't necessarily know that I believe that there's like a three-eyed monster alien situation, but I do. Look at Michelle. Do you believe that there's a three-eyed monster situation?
SPEAKER_00I don't think they look like us. I don't know what they look like, but they don't look like us. Because we we are we we can have a take, right? Is that what I was saying there? Whatever. We can live on Earth, but like Venus, we can't go live on Venus, so they have to have different But how do you know that we can't go live on Venus?
SPEAKER_01Isn't it hot? Mars is the sun is Venus is well.
SPEAKER_00Let's go with Mars then. So we can't go to Mars, it's hot, we'll die. So they if somebody there's living creatures or vegetation or whatever, you know, you've got to have different body characteristics out of our galaxy, like we talked about the other day.
SPEAKER_02Do you feel like there are more humans living on another planet?
SPEAKER_00I do also think those realms. I think there's other things going on. I don't know about time travel, I don't know how, but I don't know how to explain the deja vu that I have. Oh my gosh! Yes, I don't know how to explain that because I have it a lot, and I know um it doesn't happen a lot, but I I can read people pretty well. That doesn't mean I always act on it, you know, because I'm a Libra, I go back and forth all the freaking time. Yeah, conversation. I know. We're wondering, but I know some things that are going to happen and I know what people are gonna say, and I can pretty much tell you the end of the movie within the first five minutes, most of them. So I'm a Virgo, what's my problem? See, I'm on the cusp. I'm Virgo Libra. I'm I'm I'm actually when I went and got red, she sat down and she said to me, because Virgos are very kind, um, very nice people, they're worried about other people, blah blah blah blah blah. Hang on. And I'm looking at her, I'm like, why can I give this broad my money? Like, she is totally wrong. And she goes, but you aren't that, you're a double Libra. And now I have to look up what that means because I think that means I'm an asshole. I can't remember what she said, but I'm definitely not an inner circle.
SPEAKER_02That is hilarious, Michelle. Now I gotta look it up because I feel like that's a bigger asshole. Let me say Libra.
SPEAKER_01I am a Pisces.
SPEAKER_02Read me. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01All right, what does it mean to be a Virgo? I'm analytical, practical, detail-oriented, and I'm a problem solver. I'm devoted and caring, perfectionist and insecure. If that isn't the truest thing I've ever read in my life, their high standards can lead to excessive worrying, self-criticism, and the risk of being too hard on themselves or others.
SPEAKER_02Okay, I just looked up mine too. Did you look up what a double double Libra is? No. Does it just have a picture of an asshole?
SPEAKER_00Does it have my face?
SPEAKER_02Mine says uh characterized by profound empathy, creativity, and a dreamy, intuitive nature, are often seen as old souls who bridge reality and fantasy, acting as compassionate, compassionate, artistic, and sometimes elusive healers. I don't know. Oh, the two fish. Swimming fish are often torn between reality and their dreams. Yeah, that's true.
SPEAKER_01Okay, so here's a question. Since we're on this topic of Virgo, or topic of your signs, what is your spouse's sign?
SPEAKER_00What's the one before Virgo? Is that Aquarius?
SPEAKER_02I don't know. Loyal, gentle, non-judge, non-judgmental. I am loyal and I am gentle to an extent. But you are so judgmental. I'm gonna be judging some shit. Yeah, you we're just gonna start calling you your honor. Listen, I just don't like to put up with people's shit.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_02And if they're acting a fool, I'm gonna call them out. I'm gonna be like, yeah, you're an idiot. Let's see.
SPEAKER_01Um the Leo comes before the Virgo.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. Yep.
SPEAKER_01So he's a fucking stubborn. So Craig and I are both Virgos.
SPEAKER_00Oh. I will never, well, I'm married now, but I dated a couple Virgos and I would ask Ben when I met them. I'm like, what is your sign? I would never ever date another Virgo, ever. If anything ever happened. No. But uh Adam's a Virgo. I get along with girl Virgos. So what's wrong with me? I think I get along with girl Virgos, female Virgos.
SPEAKER_02She's gonna try to get in your pants, Monica. Um, my Adam's a Virgo. Uh-huh. Yeah. Uh when's his birthday? September 9th. Here, he gets a little upset at me because for a long time I kind of got his birthday mixed up with my ex because my ex's birthday. That might irritate spouse. My ex's birthday, whom I was with for 17 years, his birthday was 10, 976. Adam's is 91076. Aww. Sometimes I got it wrong. Um, one of Adam's weaknesses, it says, is unfocused, perfectionist, and overly critical. 2AT. You hear that or do you leave? Hey, don't be judging him. I just judged him. I'm gonna judge him all day. I'm gonna judge him until he goes back to work from his surgery.
SPEAKER_01They say that two Virgos make an excellent, highly compatible couple, forming a stable, organized, and deeply loyal partnership.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. Oh my god, this is funny. I just looked up double Libra. It says this combination intensifies typical Libra traits, creating an individual who is highly diplomatic, charming, aesthetic, and focused on harmony and partnership. Ding ding ding. That's it. I'm always the one, okay, but maybe that. Indecisive, relationship focus. Yep, yep.
SPEAKER_02I think all those are no.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I do too.
SPEAKER_02Did you see the Virgo or what is he? Viagra, Virgo, Virgo, Virgo, um health focus. They tend to be active but need to watch for tension headaches. He gets them all the time. I don't know. Yeah, that's so weird. That's crazy.
SPEAKER_01And my tension headaches form in the back of my neck and shoot up to right in the center of my eyeballs.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, that's his his are the same way. That's wild that they you know have put that in there, you know.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, I'm not really health-focused though, although I am doing a water sourdough maker.
SPEAKER_00What are you talking? You're not health focused.
SPEAKER_01I don't feel kidding right now.
SPEAKER_02You're so health focused. You're just having a hiccup. Listen to you all. You're having a hiccup.
SPEAKER_01Well, it's a good thing my GLP1 pill is out of stock.
SPEAKER_02Kylie, edit that out. Because Tony's gonna be mad.
SPEAKER_01I said it was out of stock. So I'm doing I'm doing a 72-hour water fast. I am not judging you at all. 72 hours. So, except I am having coffee. I don't give a shit. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00I cannot eat a long parasite come out.
SPEAKER_01Oh my god. Okay, so I will tell you right now, I do a parasite cleanse on my kids every six months. I do a parasite cleanse on myself every Six months. So I take um it's made by Willanova. It's called Happy Hormones. Let me tell you that there was hundred percent parasites. 100%.
SPEAKER_00So the happy hormone is what your parasite cleanse is.
SPEAKER_01That is my personal, not for the kids. The kids, but I take why is it called happy hormones if it's a parasite cleanse? Well, it's not a set it's not made to be a parasite cleanse, but that's when I saw my parasites leave when I started taking it.
SPEAKER_00Oh, I know. My mom, you when I was little, this is before all the parasite thing came out, and you know, we did the research and stuff. My mom would be like, You have a frickin' tapeworm because you never stop eating. And I was a stick. I mean, since menopause, it's it's gained, you know, caught up with me, but still, the way I eat, I should be 300 pounds. And I'm not I'm not saying that as like yeah, a good or a bad thing or whatever, but like there's some I think they're in there, and I do one daily that I just put in um my shake. However, I feel like I need to do a powerful one.
SPEAKER_01So I with the kids, I do um Joy Spring, their Z light with a Para Patrol, and I do them together, and it's a 30-day cleanse. I will tell you right now, I can tell you they're due in June, and I know because I told Craig this morning I am done having our kids speak to me the way that they speak to me. Like you can tell. Yeah, you can tell a shift in everything, their bowel movements, the way that they eat, um, their attitude, their demeanor, everything like that. When there's parasites and their gut microbiome is off, it makes everything be off.
SPEAKER_00I wish more people understood this. Yes. I just really do. Because they're like, you have to go to a third world country or so. I'm like, they're in your back freaking yard. When we were young, if you have pets, you have parents.
SPEAKER_02Somebody's got a damn tapeworm. Somebody's got you got worms, you got, you know, you play with the animals, you got the worms. They have it right here in America, guys. We got them, everybody's got them, and it's just crazy that yeah. If you have to send me all that info, yes. I want you to send me all the info of the things that you just talked about that I know. But in their group text, yeah, that's fine.
SPEAKER_01So my um group text. My mom actually told me about the happy hormones. She's going through menopause, she has horrible hot flashes, cravings, night sweats, all the things, cortisol. She had like this pain in her hip where she couldn't even lay on it, and they just kept telling her, Oh, it's just your age. She started taking this, she's been on it three months. She's lost nine pounds just by taking this. She her inflammation is way better. So listen. And the pain in her hip is gone.
SPEAKER_00I have been doing testosterone collects. They used to be like you would get them every three months, right? The hormone replacement therapy, and it was three, three fifty, no, three twenty-five. Each time, right? Out of pocket. Insurance doesn't pay for it. I went last time, they're like, they didn't call me, and it's an hour away. And I get in, they're like, Yeah, the price went up. Is that okay? And I'm like, Well, how much is that? $475. $475 from $325. Well, I did it because I was there. You were there. And I was like, cheese, Jesus! I'm calling. I want to do that.
SPEAKER_01I'm gonna tell you guys that. My life is huge on it, and it's all natural. It's got less Eshwanga, and it's all like vitamin caught like a vitamin complex type thing. I I'll send it all to you.
SPEAKER_02I think it's listen, I'm gonna bring you guys. Well, I don't know if you can get it back on the plane or not. There's a nurse practitioner here, and she actually signed on with our company because she loves what our products are are made from and all this. But she um is also a homesteader, she's a holistic nurse practitioner, but she makes her own tinctures, she makes her own things. So Adam gets natural ibuprofen from there, kills us headaches. She had a natural woman's hormone um replacement, and I can tell if I don't take it, but I had the whole hip problem going on too. And right now I'm out of it, and my hip the whole I can tell a huge difference.
SPEAKER_00But she makes it or is it like it's like back hair like in the back hair. Yeah, like in the back.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, no, I think it's I think it's a lot of the information part of our I think it's part of our um menopause. But this stuff, she will teach you how to make it and it's fermented, all of it's fermented, completely natural. She also, if you don't, you're not there to make or whatever, she sends you home with the slip on how to make it so that you don't have to you can make it at home if you want to, so you're not spending money. And to me, she's like, all I want is for people to start realizing this is how we've got to live, this is what we need to do. So we need to just bring you guys some things. Yeah, she's amazing.
SPEAKER_00Does she have like an online store?
SPEAKER_02Um, you know, I need to ask her that.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I'm gonna give her a huge shout out.
SPEAKER_02Absolutely amazing. I mean, you guys, she is phenomenal, and just the things.
SPEAKER_00Well, this has been great. We need to pick up our next episode, like Woodman's Hormones. Seriously. Let's do it. I'm gonna order this stuff and I'm gonna try it. I'm gonna cancel because this looks a lot cheaper than what I'm freaking doing.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, and I will say a month instead of 400 and I will say, like, I've been on it for three weeks. I have horrible menstrual cycles, debilitating menstrual cycles. Horrible. Um, I normally am like this last time. I was at a 38-day cycle, and I was like, this is gonna be the most painful, horrible thing ever, because that's what usually happens. I'm usually nauseous for about two weeks. I can't move, I'm so tired. My cycle when I got it was four days. I was nauseous one day and I didn't clot the way that I normally like I didn't pass clots the way that I normally do. If for nothing else, if it does nothing else for me, if I don't lose weight on it or anything like that, that alone, I'll not stop taking it.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, yeah, that that's awesome. I was like that before I had miscrectamine, it was just freaking miserable, just miserable, and and yeah. So if you find something that alleviates that, that's amazing.
SPEAKER_01Well, I think we should deep dive into detoxes, yeah.
SPEAKER_02I think we should too. I think that that would be awesome, an awesome um episode, and I think a lot of people don't know enough about it. So, how about we hit that on our next episode? And this one has been interesting. We went from um pedophile cruises to welcome to papeworms to blood clots to hormones. So here we are. Um, this is what we do, and thanks for tuning in today, and we will talk to you next week. Bye guys. And that's a wrap on this episode of Hair It First. Thanks for hanging out with us. We hope you laughed, learned, and maybe felt a little more safe for all of the good hair days and the hot mess ones too.
SPEAKER_00Remember, we're just sharing our own thoughts and experiences. No medical claims or professional advice here. Just real talk from stylists and moms who get it.
SPEAKER_01Don't forget to follow, subscribe, and share hair at first with your fellow beauty lovers and boss moms. We will catch you next time with more stories, laughs, and probably a little conditioner in our hair.