5. Alcohol is not rest, renewal, or self-care

The culture loves a tidy story: pour a glass, call it “self-care,” and the day melts away. We push back on that script and trace the gap between what alcohol promises and what it actually delivers—especially for anyone who’s been told that “mommy wine culture” is just a joke. Through honest personal reflection and a faith-first lens, we unpack why sedation isn’t restoration, how the scale of “not that bad” keeps us stuck, and what it looks like to choose renewal that lasts longer than a buzz.

We dig into the real needs under the nightly pour—rest, comfort, margin, relationship, meaning—and show how cultural messages train us to chase a counterfeit. You’ll hear practical, low-friction alternatives that restore your nervous system and your spirit: a slow walk that resets your breath, scripture that steadies your inner story, a call to a friend that dissolves isolation, and rituals like tea or sparkling water that satisfy without wrecking sleep. We also explain why those gentler tools feel weak at first, how neurochemistry adapts once alcohol is removed, and how to measure progress by the fruit—clearer mornings, warmer relationships, steadier focus.

If you’re ready to swap numbing for nurture and reclaim a version of self-care that actually fills you, this conversation offers a simple starting point and hopeful next steps. Try the one-swap challenge tonight, notice how your body and spirit respond, and tell us what changed. If the message resonates, subscribe, share with a friend who needs it, and leave a review to help others find the show.

Transcript

The Myth of Alcohol as Self-Care

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Have you ever noticed how alcohol often gets marketed as self-care? Yeah, I hate that. You, you know, we all know mommy wine culture, mommy juice, wine o'clock, you deserve this. Those messages are everywhere in commercials and memes, on magnets, on mugs, on t-shirts. Um, it's funny until it's not funny, right?

Culture’s Messages vs. Reality

SPEAKER_00 0:21

The truth is that alcohol is not rest. It is not renewal, and it's certainly not self-care. It's actually the opposite of that because it's so toxic for your body. But beyond even the physical effects uh of that, it's toxic for your soul. At best, it's a temporary distraction. And at worst, it's self-destruction dressed up as self-care. So, you know, sometimes people will tell you or tell me, I've heard it, that I'm taking things too seriously, that it's really silly to make a big deal out of wine jokes. And maybe there are people that it's not a big deal for, right? But there are a lot of people that it is. Because when you look around the world, or at least in America, we have seen alcohol destroy families. We have seen alcohol cause people to lose their children. We have seen alcohol cause people to um lose their jobs, to drink and drive and potentially kill someone. Maybe that's not you. Maybe you're like, well, I'm not that bad. And and many people aren't. But it's really not about the scale of how bad it is, you know, you know, from zero to 10. Like you don't have to be falling apart at work, losing your job, driving drunk, in order for you to know that alcohol is not good for you and that it's toxic and that the cultural messages that you're receiving are not helpful, not helpful to you and not helpful to anyone else.

The Stakes: Families, Safety, and Harm

SPEAKER_00 1:50

Um, and certainly not helpful to the next generation, which I don't know about you, but for me, half the reason I'm doing this, this podcast wrote this book, Living This Life, is because I don't want my kids to suffer through addiction of any kind, whether it's small addiction or big addiction, I don't want them to suffer through that. And that's why I think mommy wine culture is not funny. That's why a couple of years ago, when an alcohol brand did what they thought was a funny commercial of, I can't remember the brand, but it was like celebrity, celebrities were like, you know, hiding their alcohol in the closet, like, oh, mom needs a break. And it was like, ha ha ha, I'm like gonna go in the closet and drink this. No, that's not funny. That's like that's abuse. You shouldn't be hiding your drinking. There's something wrong with that. Um, and so all that to say, I'm sort of over the marketing thing. Romans 12, 2 tells us don't copy the hate behaviors and customs of this world,

Rejecting the Scale of “How Bad”

SPEAKER_00 2:47

but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Culture says alcohol is self-care. God says real care comes from the renewal of the mind, body, and spirit through Him. Alcohol is not self-care. You cannot renew your mind, body, and spirit through drinking. But we can care for ourselves through the spiritual renewal of these things. I used to buy into the message of alcohol is self-care super hard. I went to great lengths to justify it to myself. Like I would be like, well, everybody does this.

Why Mommy Wine Culture Isn’t Funny

SPEAKER_00 3:22

This is an adult thing. When I first became an adult and like sort of lived on my own, it was like a rite of passage to like go buy beer. And, you know, I drank beer alone and I thought that was really cool. And I remember thinking, oh wow, it's so, you know, romantic and um this really cool experience to like go to a dark bar and drink a martini. I mean, like seriously, I don't know how I bought into this stuff. So it's so cheesy, it's not even real, but there was something about it that I liked. And it was the culture and the societal and the media message that made me think that. I'd pour myself a glass of wine and I'd tell myself, yes, I deserve this. This is fun. This is fine. This is adulthood, right? But if I'm honest, it never gave me what I was actually craving. And it may have started innocently enough, but very quickly, because I, as I've said, alcohol is an addictive substance, it became something really unhealthy. And it became something I started to need.

Faith Lens: Renewal Over Conformity

SPEAKER_00 4:22

It became something I wasn't just craving, but that my body was telling me I had to have to get through something. I wasn't craving wine though. What I was really craving in these moments when I became sort of having this uh this stronghold to the wine, I was really craving rest, comfort, peace, margin in my life, relationship, connection, fulfillment of my goals and ambitions. I was craving that, but instead I went to something that was easier in the moment. Because alcohol never delivered those things, of course. And when I began stepping away from drinking, I started to explore real self-care, going for a walk, reading scripture, calling a friend, drinking tea or something that I, you know, that was good for you, getting more sleep. Slowly I realized the things

Personal Story: Buying the Lie

SPEAKER_00 5:11

that were good for me actually filled me up in a way that alcohol never could. They allowed me to process my reality in a way that actually moved me forward instead of being stuck in the past and stuck in this sort of adolescent way of living. Maybe you felt the pull of some of those cultural messages too. Maybe you've convinced yourself that alcohol is just your little treat at the end of the day. Uh, I know it's probably become something more than that if you're here listening to this, but I also want you to know that you deserve real care. Your soul deserves something better than that. Alcohol is a counterfeit care. Um, alcohol is not a long-term sustainable solution to whatever it is that you feel like you need it for. It's it's something that leaves you ultimately depleted. It's taking away from you. No matter how many uh glasses of water you drink before you go to bed, or if you are, you know, taking liquid IV the next day, getting up, exercising, working out all the toxins. That's fine, but that takes a lot of energy, guys. And you cannot out drink, outwork out the physical effects of alcohol, nor the mental and spiritual effects of alcohol on your brain, your spirit, and your life. God designed us to need rest and peace and joy and relationship and connection and not to be working and stressing all the time. Those things, we have to make those available in other ways. And we can. No

What We Actually Crave

SPEAKER_00 6:43

matter what's going on in your life, there are shifts you can make to give yourself more space to process the actual reality of your life. So this week, try swapping out one drink with one form of genuine self-care. Instead of pouring a glass of wine, maybe have a bubble bath or take a walk or listen to a song that you love. Music is huge, you guys. Music can shift the state of your entire soul in a moment if you have the right song. So instead of opening a bottle, open your Bible. Instead of sipping alcohol, sip tea or sparkling water, or LaCroix or Poppy or Olipop or whatever it is you like. And then notice how your body and spirit feel afterwards. Sometimes we, you know, I'm just thinking back, sometimes it's like that glass of wine. It was like even just the first sip, you start to relax. Part of that is just mechanics. If you give yourself a drink of, say, Olipop or whatever, you sit down, you take a drink, take a moment, take a breath, you start to realize that maybe alcohol isn't really the thing that was giving you the relief. Maybe it was just like giving yourself a moment to unwind.

Real Self-Care that Fills You

SPEAKER_00 7:53

Give that a chance. Now, it it can be difficult to, it can be a not as much of a difference as you need at first. But what I'm telling you is when you eliminate alcohol from your coping mechanisms of life, the other things that we do actually become more powerful because we're not sort of um artificially altering our brain's um serotonin levels, not to get so scientific, but when we are using something so powerful as alcohol, our body gets used to that. And so the sort of calmer methods of self-care do not feel that great. But when you eliminate this artificial thing of alcohol in your mind and body, you begin to allow those more natural and healthier um solutions to make a bigger impact. And I can tell you that's a hundred percent true for me. Like prior to quitting drinking, like having a calming tea or something like that was not going to do a darn thing for me. But now because my body isn't used to this artificial craziness, it responds to the actual, the natural ways that we can calm down. And so that's something that um that you can look forward to. So let's pray. Father, thank you that you are what caring for us in real and lasting ways. Forgive us for turning to the comforts that aren't you. Help

Alcohol Depletes, Not Heals

SPEAKER_00 9:13

us to see through the messages of the world and instead choose practices that actually restore us. Show us this week what true self care looks like with you at the center. In Jesus' name. Amen.